Songs used in this chapter:

Eloise by Peter McPoland

Nothing New by Taylor Swift and Phoebe Bridgers

Loose Ends by Ashe (I told you...)

I smiled at Katniss as the train pulled into a stop. I was very excited to introduce my wife to my family, although she seemed a bit nervous.

After officially getting married the day before, Katniss showed me the District 12 toasting, then Peeta and Haymitch joined us for food. Prim came a bit afterwards. The Mellarks did not show, however Katniss's mother sent Prim with a card.

The train ride from District 12 to District 4 seemed much longer this time around, probably because I wasn't drunk out of my mind.

We spent most of the train ride lying on the couch together. Katniss brought her journal with her, which I noticed was much more full since the last time I saw it.

"Writing another album?" I teased when she pulled it out, remembering how the Capitol seemed convinced she was going to do just that.

Katniss only smiled. "Actually, I am."

She flipped through some of the pages so I could see the words she came up with. I stared at them, not sure what to say or how to react.

Most of the songs she showed me were about mental health. No one was supposed to know about a Victor's mental health. It was bad for our public image, as well as the Hunger Games, and Snow would never stand for it. The songs that weren't about her mental health were about how terrible the world that we lived in was, which was even worse.

"You can't release those," I whispered, sitting up, taking the journal from her hands, so I could read some of the lyrics.

I've seen you publish all the lies, poor girl

I've seen the rubbish that you cry over

How can you stomach all the dying world?

I turned a page and saw the lyrics to another song she had written, this one making me want to throw up, knowing it was a very real nightmare that had already come true for Katniss:

I know someday I'm gonna meet her, it's a fever dream

The kind of radiance you only have at seventeen

She'll know the way and then she'll say she go the map from me

I'll say I'm happy for her, then I'll cry myself to sleep

Katniss sat up as well, facing me from the opposite end of the couch. "Why not?"

I stared at her, not sure how she could miss the giant hole in her plan. I slid closer to her and whispered in her ear, so the bugs on the train wouldn't be able to pick up our voices, and my lips would be hidden by her hair. "Do you know just how treasonous this album will be?" I kissed her ear, to add effect for the bugs.

Katniss smiled, picking up on what I was doing, and whispered back to me. "Of course I do. I'm going to have Gale release it for me the day I go into the arena." She climbed into my lap. "At that point, it will be too late for Snow to do anything to me. I'll already be in the Hunger Games."

"What about Prim?" I asked, my arms going around her waist, pulling her flush up against me.

"Don't worry about Prim, Finnick," She said, the breath from her nose tickling my cheek. "I already have it all planned out. She's going to move in with Gale once I go back to the Capitol, and he's going to protect her."

"Why Gale? What's his significance here?" I kissed her jaw.

Katniss pulled the journal out of my hands and closed it, tossing it lightly to the other end of the couch. "Do you know about the uprisings?"

Oh.

I was not expecting that.

I struggled to keep my expression calm. She knew about the uprisings. I didn't know who told her, or how she found out, but this was not good. "I know that they exist." I whispered, keeping my tone controlled. "I don't know anything about them."

She frowned. "Is anything happening in District 4?"

"A little bit. District 4 is definitely more strict than 12. There are more rules, more reforms, but the people are fighting back."

Katniss smiled again, and I breathed in the scent of her hair. "District 12 is fighting back, too. Gale says the men in the mines are talking about it. They're planning an uprising."

"So you feel safest placing responsibility for your sister's life in the hands of a revolutionary?" I asked her, trying to convince her to see reason, while also peppering kisses down her neck.

"Gale will always put Prim's safety first." She said. I gently sucked at a spot just above her shoulder. She pressed a quick kiss to my cheek. "He's my first choice to watch over her, if you and I aren't going to be around."

"Katniss, I really don't like this." I told her, detaching myself from her neck and looking up at her. "It doesn't seem safe."

"It's about as safe as it gets. Most people won't even notice the rebellious outlook of my album; They won't think anything of it."

"If you say so," I said. "But I want to help."

Katniss frowned, pulling away. "What?" She clearly was not expecting that turn of events.

"My talent is poetry, Katniss." I told her. She smiled. Every time I brought up the fact that I wrote poetry, Katniss laughed at me. She had never seen me write poetry, had never read one of my poems, and I apparently didn't seem like the type to write poetry. "We could write a song together."

"About what?" She asked me.

I shrugged. "I don't know. We have plenty of traumatic topics to write about."

She sat next to me and picked up her journal, passing it over to me with a blank page open.

"Why are you on board all of the sudden?" Katniss challenged.

I looked at her. "You're my wife, Katniss. If you feel like this is the best way to support a cause you clearly believe in, I want to support you in this. I clearly can't convince you not to get involved, so I might as well have my name right up there with yours." I uncapped the pen and stared down at the blank page, trying to brainstorm ideas. "It could just be about our feelings as Victors. What it feels like when we get out of the arena, what it feels like to be molested, what it feels like to have nightmares."

"Or maybe what it feels like when our friends and family leave us." Katniss suggested. "And how we pretend we're alright for the public, because we have to."

I nodded. I liked that idea. I started writing, not quite sure where it was going.

I'll pretend, but I don't know if I'll break or bend

Tripping up over my loose ends

"Ends rhymes with friends," Katniss suggested. I nodded again. That's how we could incorporate her idea.

I can't talk to all my old friends

They've all run out of sympathy

Katniss took the journal from me and wrote:

I don't blame them giving up on me

"How do you normally write songs?" I asked her when she passed the journal back to me. "Is it just a poem that you put to music?"

She shook her head. "Usually, I get a tune and an idea in my head and I break it up by the chorus, verses, intro, bridge, whatever else I want to include. So for this song, I think we just wrote a pretty strong third verse. I think maybe it would be best to organize it like this," In the corner she wrote out Intro, Verse 1+2, Chorus, Verse 3, Chorus, Outro/Verse 1 repeated

"So what would you write for the chorus?" I asked her.

Katniss hummed a few notes, trying to find a tune that she liked. "I need something that will slide into the verse nicely."

After a few more minutes of humming, she suddenly sat up a little straighter, snatched back the journal from my hands, and said, "Oh! What if it's like-"

She hummed slowly, quietly, as she wrote out, what I assumed to be, the chorus.

I don't know what I'll do or where I will go

I can't stay here and I can't go home

Looking for some kind of sign

I'm afraid I can't go back

"To the mess I made," I supplied when Katniss stopped writing and started humming again, trying to figure out the next line. She crossed out the previous line and continued.

I'm afraid; can't go back to the mess I made

I'll pretend 'til the memories fade

Until I run out of time

"And then we can put the verse we wrote here," She told me.

"Like magic," I said with a smirk.

The train pulled into the station. Katniss closed her journal, and stashed it away in her bag.

I took her hand, and she turned back to me. "Just remember District 4 is a lot rougher than District 12 right now." I told her. "Please don't do anything stupid."

Right on cue, the doors opened and two Peacekeepers stood right outside of them, waiting to check the passengers on board, to make sure no unauthorized citizens were trying to sneak into District 4. They were surprised to see the two of us there. We each picked up our bags and exited the train, the Peacekeepers allowing us to pass.

I showed Katniss through District 4. Victor's Village was not too far from the train station.

Katniss's eyes widened when she saw the ocean in the distance.

I chuckled upon seeing her mesmerized expression. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

"This is my fourth time seeing it, but every single time it takes me by surprise." She said, her eyes still glued to the horizon.

I laughed again and kissed her temple. "We can go to the beach as soon as we set down our bags," I told her. "Come on," I said, leading her to Victor's Village. It was a bit chillier than it had been a few days before, when I left, but it was nothing compared to District 12, where it was always colder than my home.

My front door was already unlocked, which I expected, since my family should be home. My mother stood in the kitchen, washing dishes. The boys weren't around.

"Hello mother," I said, closing the door behind Katniss.

"You're home earlier than I thought," She said, not bothering to turn around and greet me.

"Yes, well there was a major turn of events that I thought my family should be aware of."

My mother finally turned off the sink, dried off her hands, and turned around. She raised an eyebrow upon seeing Katniss with me. "You're Katniss Everdeen," she said blandly.

"You're half right," I corrected. My mother ignored me, per usual.

Katniss shook her hand. "It's nice to meet you," She said in an attempt to be civil.

"We've met before," My mother corrected. "I doubt you would remember, though. You were too busy fawning over my son."

I was about to interfere and jump to Katniss's defense, but my wife replied without skipping a beat.

"Probably because he's the most beautiful man in Panem." Katniss said.

"Thank you," Mother said, clearly taking it as a compliment to herself.

"I assume he takes after his father?" Katniss continued.

My mother didn't seem to catch the hidden insult in her words, but Killian clearly did, because I heard a muffled "Roasted!" And then he ran down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Hi Finnick. Katniss," He said. "Why are you guys here?"

Katniss looked at me. "Should we tell them all at once?"

I shrugged. "I guess that would be best. Killian, where are Caspian and Solomon?"

"Sol is upstairs, Caspian is at Britt's house."

"I can get them," Katniss offered, and walked out the front door before I had the chance to say anything.

I shook my head and sighed. "Okay, Killian, can you get Sol?"

My fifteen-year-old brother sighed dramatically and stomped over to the bottom of the stairs, and yelled up the stairs. "Sol! Finnick's back!" He shouted.

I distantly heard Solomon yell back "Okay! Give me like ten minutes!"

Killian took a deep breath to shout back, but I just rolled my eyes and walked up the stairs. I knocked on Solomon's door. I heard something fall, and then a couple of seconds later, Sol opened his door. "Hi Finnick," He said.

"Hi," I said. "Do you mind coming downstairs? There's something I have to say to all of you. Family meeting."

Solomon rolled his eyes. "We have never had a family meeting before."

I shrugged. "Well this is really important."

Solomon made a face and followed me back downstairs. "How was your time with Katniss?"

I grinned, turning around when I got to the bottom of the steps. "Really great, actually."

Sol rolled his eyes again. "You guys are gross."

"One of these days, Solomon, you are going to meet an excellent young lady, and the two of you will be just as disgusting, if not more."

"I doubt that," Killian said, still standing at the bottom of the steps. "He's twenty years old. Clearly no one wants him."

I patted Killian on the head, but said nothing.

We sat down in the living room where my mother was already waiting. No words were spoken between the four of us, but I could tell my mother was annoyed with having to wait for so long. Finally, Katniss returned with Caspian and Britt. My brother and his girlfriend stood awkwardly in the doorway, and Katniss sat next to me on the couch.

I cleared my throat, then began my story. "So I went to District 12 two days ago, and I was apparently about as drunk as I've ever been," I started.

"Finnick," My mother began, already annoyed by my very presence. "Please think about your audience. Killian is only fifteen."

"Mom, are you serious?" Caspian said, exasperated.

"Yeah mom, really?" Killian cut in. "I'm willing to bet I've been more drunk than Finnick."

We all stared at him, not expecting that.

He blushed. "I mean, haven't we all? Finnick always controls his alcohol intake much more than the rest of us and..." He stopped talking, since we were all still staring at him in shock.

Katniss finally broke the silence by being the first to laugh. "Are you serious? Finnick doesn't control his alcohol intake. He controls my alcohol intake."

That set Caspian and Britt off, followed by the rest of my brothers. Once the room settled back into silence, I continued talking.

"Anyway, Katniss and I got married." I said.

The silence continued.

Katniss rolled her eyes. "Maybe you should explain a bit better than that, darling,"she said, a hint of sarcasm sneaking into her voice. "Drunk Finnick realized since I'm going into the arena in just a few months, and he might be too, our tacky Capitol wedding is never going to happen."

I nodded. "So we eloped yesterday morning. We went to the Justice Building in District 12 and signed the paperwork."

Caspian and Britt were the first to congratulate us. "You aren't going to do the traditions?" He asked me, hugging me.

"We want to have a private ceremony here, in District 4 so we can do our traditions. We already did District 12's yesterday."

Caspian released me, and Britt hugged me next. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my mother hugging Katniss as if she actually had a heart.

"I finally have a daughter," I heard her cry out loudly. I made eye contact with Katniss over my mother's shoulder, who was looking rather confused.

...

We had a small, informal ceremony the next morning. No one dressed up too much, and we performed District 4's traditions. Instead of a priest or President Snow performing the ceremony, we had Mags do it in my backyard. Her voice was quiet and garbled, but Katniss and I could hear and understand her, and not much else mattered.

We exchanged wedding rings, which we had each picked out for each other. Katniss gave me her father's wedding ring, which was still sitting on the mantelpiece of her old house, but she made sure to grab it before we left for District 12. I bought her a simple gold band from the jeweler in town. I wish I had a ring to give her with a bit more significance, but there was no way my mother would let me give Katniss her wedding ring, even if she loved Katniss, and pretended her husband never existed, she still hated me just enough to keep that from me. And either way, I didn't want Katniss to have my mother's wedding ring. It would probably give us bad luck, anyway.

After our ceremony, Katniss and I stayed outside, on the beach long after everyone else went inside. She kicked off her shoes and waded ankle-deep into the water. I stayed in the shallower water, since I didn't want to get my nice, expensive pants wet with salt water.

Katniss turned around to laugh at me. "You don't want to get your clothes wet?"

I grinned. "These pants were expensive."

"Alright, pretty boy," she said, walking back to me and sitting on the dry sand. She grabbed my hand and pulled me down next to her. She kissed me. "Your lips still taste really salty," She said, referring to how we put salt water on each other's lips as part of the ceremony.

I laughed. "So do yours." I wiped off my mouth with my sleeve, and she did the same, making a face. "Do you want to try again?"

Katniss kissed me again, and started to pull away, but my hand in her hair stopped her. She wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling herself closer to me, so that we were flush up against each other. We only pulled away when Killian yelled out the window:

"You guys are so gross!"

Katniss picked up a nearby seashell and threw it towards the house, aiming for my brother. It shattered against the wall.

"You're still salty," I informed her once Killian disappeared inside the window.

She rolled her eyes at my joke. "Your lips always taste like salt," She told me."Even in the Capitol, when you aren't around salt water."

"Do they?" I asked, genuinely curious

"And sugar." She added

"Well you always taste like strawberries." I said. She smiled.

I stood up and held my hand out for her, hauling her up with me. I gave her one last peck on the lips. "Would you like to explore District 4 with me, my love?" I asked her, putting on a fake Capitol accent.

She shrugged and followed me off the Victor's property and into town.

...

That night, Katniss and I sat in my room, drinking hot chocolate and playing a riveting card game when the television turned on by its own accord.

By order of the President, here is a special mandatory program, for your enjoyment.

"That's what they said last time," I muttered, setting down my hand of cards that had just been dealt. Katniss took a sip from her mug.

A black-and-white video flashed up on the screen, the words District 11 large and in front of it all.

An old man held up Katniss's three-finger salute and whistled her tune. The crowd around him was silent and still, until a much younger woman copied his action, followed by her husband, his brother, his daughter, her friend, and it continued until the entire crowd of people standing near the Justice Building were honoring the Mockingjay symbol. It all stopped when the gunshots were heard. Katniss gasped beside me. The culprit who started it all was dragged up the stairs, onto the stage, and shot in the back of the head.

The scene changed to District 8, where a teenage girl was being whipped.

A father was hung in front of his crying children in District 5.

I recognized footage of the butcher in my own district, sitting in the stocks in the center of town.

District 12 flashed up on the screen. A man was being whipped in the square. He was hunched over, and crying out loudly. Suddenly a scream went out from the crowd, and a young woman ran in front of the man, taking a blow from the whip straight to her face. Another man pushed his way in front of them both, his drunken stagger clear through the grainy camera.

"Katniss, What-" I started to say, but it was then that the scene changed once more, showing a close up shot of Gloss, in a very outdated interview, possibly years old.

"I believe that, yes, rules are very important," He was saying. "Obviously they are there for our own protection."

It showed a shot of Clove, just weeks before, during her Victory Tour. "And I just want to thank our dear President Snow. None of this would have happened if it weren't for him." She glanced down at her dress. "And look at this. It's a dream come true for us here, in Panem. We are given such a unique opportunity, if we only take it."

"He's using us," Katniss muttered.

It changed again, this time showing Katniss twirling in her dress during her interview in the 70th Hunger Games, then again during our recent stay together in the Capitol. "Every time I'm here, in this beautiful city, I'm reminded of all the people of Panem who have supported me."

My stomach dropped. They used Katniss, specifically. I wasn't sure what this would do for the rebellion. Katniss was the symbol, and the Capitol was using her for their own propaganda.

The camera panned to me, sitting next to her in the same interview. "We were given such a great opportunity to live here," I said. "The Capitol... Panem... What a great place to be."

A recent shot of Peeta appeared on the screen. "We're all in this together, really," He said.

The screen went dark, then the words We're all in this together appeared in white.

As soon as the words disappeared off the screen, I turned to Katniss. "What was that shot of DIstrict 12?" I asked her. "That was you, wasn't it? And Haymitch and Gale?"

She shrugged, setting down her mug.

"Katniss, what was that?"

"Finnick, I honestly think there are more pressing matters than month-old footage of District 12. Like how President Snow is pretending we support his cause."

"F President Snow, then," I said. "Tell me about the footage. You took a whip to the face and didn't mention it once. And how do you not have any sort of scar?"

Katniss sighed and stood up, stealing a makeup wipe from my dresser. I was reminded of a reversed scene, years ago, when I showed Katniss the bruises on my face, hidden by a strong concealer.

Turning around to show me the marking on her face, Katniss threw away the wipe and sat down on the bed again. I pushed the cards aside and brushed her hair away from her face.

The cut was still healing, so it probably wouldn't be a permanent scar, but either way I was surprised any amount of concealer could cover it. It was red and angry looking, and the cut clearly ran deep.

I pressed a light, gentle kiss to it. "What happened?"

"Gale was caught hunting by the new head peacekeeper," She began. "And the hob had been burnt down, and the peacekeeper wanted to make an example of him, I guess, and by the time I got there, Gale was already unconscious, but Thread just kept hitting him, over and over again. So I finally had enough, so I put myself in front of him, because I was afraid he was going to kill him. And Thread hit me with the whip, and I went down, and Haymitch chased after me and interfered."

"How did he stop it?" I asked her, stroking her hair, trying to calm her down. She was clearly upset, not just because of the whipping, but because of the whole video and, potentially because of me finding out.

"He told him that I had a big wedding coming up, and Snow wouldn't be happy with him messing up my face," She smiled. "And Peeta had to get involved, too, of course."

I shook my head. "Why do you always have to get involved in things?"

Katniss shrugged again. "I just can't stand injustice, I guess. When people I love are in trouble, I just snap. I can't stop myself."

I sighed, knowing she was right. There was really no stopping her.

There was a knock on the door. "Come in," I called out, tiredly.

Caspian poked his head in. "There's a phone call for you, Finnick."

I made a face at Katniss. I knew this phone call was coming, but I really just wanted to spend time with Katniss. I rolled off the bed and followed Caspian downstairs. Katniss followed us, and sat next to Solomon on the couch while I went into the office to answer the call.

"Hello?" I said.

"Hello Odair," Haymitch said. "How's it going?"

"You saw me yesterday, Haymitch," I told him. "Not much has changed since then."

"Actually a lot has changed. You saw Snow's propaganda?"

I snorted. "It was hard to miss it."

"Well that, along with the Quarter Quell announcement has made me realize that it might be a while before I get to speak to you again."

"Oh?" I said, my heart rate picking up drastically. He was talking about the rebellion. Something happened. That was one of our code phrases.

"Will I see you at the Hunger Games this year?"

"In one way or another," I answered.

"Great. Maybe we can catch up over a drink. It's been a while since we've talked, man to man."

"Right," I said, knowing exactly what he wanted to speak about. "I'll see you then."