Manicured fingernails glided nervously through long locks in anticipation of Dean's arrival back at her father's with Sam in tow. Sam. She had heard much about the younger Winchester, though entirely from Bobby and Dean. Sam himself remained out of sight and out of touch for the better part of eight months, longer for her newfound connections. Samuel felt akin to a fairytale, an homage to sibling ferocity and the unfortunate reality of parentification. Not that Allie would ever speak a word in reference to her own psychoanalyst of the Winchester family.
In truth, there was an air of insecurity within Bobby's walls that day, both from Dean and herself. She worried about Sam's perception of her, if he would like her or rather have stayed in California. Not to mention the reality of the situation; Allie was an outsider, a new voyager on the hunting journey. Sam clearly meant everything to Dean, which meant his opinion would matter.
Deep thought caused her palms to sweat, blood pumping to her heart furiously, stomach coiling in a mix of anxiety and enthusiasm. Nearly one year with Dean had made her... aggressively confident. Now that was slipping away as a newcomer entered the ball pit.
When they finally arrived she was standing in the kitchen. Allie perked up at the sound of the door opening, body showcasing disjointed excitement. The creak of wood on wood felt all too long, drawn out. Dean had noted to her that he was going to Stanford to get Sam. That was two days prior. Two days that droned on and on.
Stanford. She remembered the halls. The alumni that haunted ivy-league walls and glass cases. Cardinal coloured paint reigned supreme both on foyers and athletic uniforms. A uniform that she knew well. The cotton-blended material practically lived under her skin, even now. More than a full year past leaving.
California proved vastly different from Ohio. The bustling, the warmth, the culture. Land of dreams and false idols. Yet, the youth were still suicidal and the her peers barely caught breaks between lectures. The homework, the grinding, the need for money to support blossoming education. All things that she once loved. Being on that field… nothing compared. Hearing the roar of bleacher attendees while a gorgeous smile lined her all-american girl features. The pom-pom's breathed in her hands, the textbook grind ingrained in her psyche.
And yet it so suddenly turned sour.
Allie turned impetuously and dried her hands from washing dishes, her body facing the door frame where Sam was now situated. He was clearly nervous too. It seemed like he didn't know what to do with his gorilla-sized hands, they rubbed at his jeans. "Hi! You must be Sam. I'm Allie!" The blonde stuck her hand out and offered a warm, inviting smile to him. Hilarious. Their initial interaction was certainly different than the one that had occurred with Dean. Though, really any other interaction had been different than that one. "Dean's told me a lot about you." She pursed her lips, blue eyes flickering up and down him. He was... huge. Like. H.U.G.E. See over the aisles at the grocery store huge. "God... you make me look like an ant." A joke. It sounded better in her head. The false confidence that so usually exuded from her thinned, an anxious mess in its wake.
Sam cleared his throat, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans as he stepped inside the once familiar kitchen. Bobby's. It all still looked the same. Maybe more clean. Things were somewhat tidy in comparison to the last time he had ventured into his once father-like figure's home. The old red wallpaper could be seen from his standing, some pictures lined odds and ends. There was a melancholy to it all, a slight guilt from his abandonment. In choosing his normal life, his strive for learning - he lost the people held dear. John's parting words repeated in his ears, just as tense at Judgement Day...
"Don't come back,"
And so he didn't. No one reached out, no one called. He lived a life in separation from all he had ever known, simply for wanting better for himself.
He returned Allie's smile nervously, taking her hand in a firm yet, in some way, gentle grip. "Hi... yeah, I'm Sam," he said softly, trying to keep his voice from cracking. She was even more beautiful up close than he had imagined; considering Dean's ramblings. Those big blue eyes and that infectious energy radiating off of her like sunshine on a cloudy day. Normal women did not look like Allie. Allie was the kind of woman that... there was an aura around her. Really the blonde hair kind of looked like a halo. The type of girl that made you want to smile just because you were around them and they hadn't chastised you or shooed you away. The way her smile scrunched her nose up and forced her cheeks to bubble... there was just something pure about it. Nearly innocent. As though she wanted to give her small form of joy away as an offering, even if it had nervous undertones.
Jessica would like her. Jessica. Fuck, no wonder he viewed Allie as pretty. They looked a little alike. Well, they held a comparable demeanor and the blonde waves… Mere days away from her and the missing already became evident. Her questioning of his leaving sat heavy in his stomach, a byproduct of lying to the love of his life. On the outside he did well, on the inside it rotted him. The girl slept in his bed, held him when needed, offered the wittiest little snarks known to man. Sweet most of the time, siren-esque while with him. He could never ask for more - and he lied to her. Blatantly. Right to her face. All in an effort to move on from the life that he led for so long, the life that never even accepted him in the first place.
"Uh, well, uhm..." Forcing a small laugh, his brain seemed to have completely abandoned him at the sight of her, at the deep thoughts that lived in him of Jess and her understanding smile while he left. Sam had never been exceptional when it came to meeting girls, no matter the intent. Let alone while inner guilt brewed. He was half in, half out.
Blue eyes took him in slowly and she released a soft, bubbly laugh in return to ease his nervous exterior. They already had something in common. "Oh no, don't tell me Dean has been filling your head with falsities about me." Alice leaned forward on her heels and heard Dean protest in the other room. "I bet he told you a bunch of stupid things didn't he? Prick." Funny. The words somehow came out… affectionate? A far cry from her initial reaction to him. Though the well planted guard remained, walls erected just as they had been then, perhaps the paint had just slightly chipped.
She turned away for a moment to stick her tongue out at the older Winchester and watched as he disappeared upstairs. "Hey! Don't steal my conditioner again! I know you're doing it, Dean!" She called after him and rolled her eyes. That shit was expensive and somehow she was buying it ALL THE TIME. HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A LOT OF HAIR. WHERE WAS IT GOING? Half the time she wondered if he practically doused himself in it. Maybe he enjoyed the feeling of ultra-soft arm hair, but Kérastase was expensive, and her pockets only went so deep.
She finally turned back to Sam and let out a meager sigh. "Sorry, my dad's not here right now. He went to get some groceries. You want a beer?" Ever since Allie had arrived at her father's, the house had become somewhat warm. It felt like a home and not just a hunter's version of an oasis. In mild terms— Allie made sure there were more than ready-made meals in the freezer. One could only eat so many Hungry Man Salisbury Steaks until they went mad. Cooking came naturally. Cooking, baking, cleaning - all easy detours of inner rage. No one complained at the sight of a sponge being scrubbed against scratched countertops, no matter the level of aggression. Cooking? A form of getting out of her own head, a way to ease her brooding thoughts.
He gave a slight chuckle at the sight of her playful banter with Dean, smile tugging at the corner of his lips. The moment was familiar. A reminder of their previous sibling tumbles across time. Looked like Dean still stole hair-care products, even if they weren't his. The jerk must have moved on to feminine pastures. So maybe there were some positive aspects of leaving for Stanford, even if small. His routine remained his, safe from thievery.
"I think he might have exaggerated just a bit," he admitted sheepishly, trying to regain some semblance of composure around Allie. She was... well, she was something else entirely. Certainly not what he had anticipated. Not in a negative way. Dean would normally play a woman like this up to the nines. Sam could only assume that his older brother hadn't done so due to Allie being Bobby's daughter. Well, he had remarked that Allie was hot, but defiant. Wouldn't listen to him. If anything, the car ride was more of a complaining session than a throning session. Not that Sam would tell her that, that would be unkind. Sometimes Dean just… let off steam. It had always been that way. One previous mentee to another, he wasn't the easiest mentor to deal with in the first place. Because of that, Sam took the critiques with a grain of rock salt.
"A beer sounds great, thanks." He followed her over to the fridge and watched as she expertly opened it, revealing an impressive collection of various brews. It wasn't Bobby's taste for sure; more likely Dean's. He wondered how long they had been here together before he joined them. That thought made him a bit regretful considering all he may have missed, but choices needed to be made and the call of defending in court won out over all.
As she grabbed two bottles from the ice-cold depths, their bodies brushed against each other ever so slightly and Sam stiffened. Tale as old as time - awkwardness around women returned, something Dean often teased him about.
"Of course he did." She rolled her eyes once again before passing Sam a beer and leaning against the kitchen counter.
"So, Stanford. That's pretty cool. Go Cardinal's!" Allie smiled with wry jest, indicating their commonality. "Dean told me you were a bright kid." She took a sip of her beer before continuing. "You don't look like a kid to me, though." Sometimes Dean spoke about Sam like he was still young, not like an adult. Remember the parentification? Yeah, case in point.
"I went to Stanford for nursing before I found Bobby. Nearly graduated. So, you know, if you ever get any boo-boos... you know who to call." Blue irises glanced at him from beneath mascara-enhanced eyelashes. He was attractive. It was kind of unfair. Both of them were nice looking, though Sam had a more...gentle vibe. She assumed he was called for, Stanford held some of the best and brightest, it only made sense that he would find a girl practically immediately. The 'top' guys and girls often matched up together right away, she knew that reality all too well. Regrettably so. "So, you're intelligent."
Sam blushed slightly at her compliment, taking a long swig of his beer to hide the sudden surge of embarrassment. "Thanks," he mumbled awkwardly, trying not to stare too hard at her and fumble the moment, his mind ran towards a pique of interest at her note of almost graduating college for such a respectable field. Why would she choose their life? Any kind of life on earth and she had selected to... stick with his brother? Odd choice considering how Dean treated women at times.
"I'm still in college," he clarified quickly, hoping to change the subject before it got even more uncomfortable for him. Wait, she already knew that. Shit. Backpedal time. "Pre-law, actually." He could not help but notice how effortlessly she shifted topics, deflecting attention away from herself and onto him. It was... refreshing, almost. Dean usually just wanted to talk about hunting or girls. Or food. Or Classic Rock. Rarely did anyone ask him about himself, or his interests.
He cleared his throat again, forcing himself to focus on something else. "So nursing huh? That sounds like a noble profession."
"It would be if I did anything with it. Or finished." She joked and smiled. "Can't really be a good nurse while hunting." The blonde grabbed a mint and popped it in her mouth. She could hear Dean rustling around upstairs. Her eyes darted quickly to the sound, watching up the flight while he eventually came thundering down with a duffel bag slung over his shoulder, taking two steps at a time. The hurry was obvious, like the road screamed out to him and there was no time to waste.
"Woah, Eye of the Tiger. What's with the sudden power walk?" Her eyebrow perked at the sight of him.
Dean's boots hit the gound runnin', heels pressing into the heavily worn floorboards before catching on to Allie's greeting. "Gotta hit the road, sweetheart. Sam's on a time limit."
"A time limit?" She questioned, looking back and forth between the two and throwing her cleaning rag clear over the counter. "Bobby isn't back for an hour, you aren't gonna stick around for that?" Mainly for the reunion. After all, her father spoke of Sam often. It was obvious the Singer Supreme missed Sam.
Meanwhile, Sam stood downstairs and across the room from Allie while meanderingly taking another taste from his beer, trying not to think about how much he thought about those long blonde locks. They reminded him of Jessica. Jessica. She was a knockout. As soon as he got back things would change for them. He knew it. He was ready. One last hunt and then the thrill of a normal life, the sight of seeing her in hair rollers in early mornings and wrapping large arms around her at night. He could leave things behind and find solace in her warm embrace, normalcy.
As their voices faded into the distance, seemingly arguing this time around, he set down his empty bottle on the countertop and grabbed another one from the fridge. Dean had an effect on women, he assumed Allie was no different. Rather than let the bickering get to him the younger Winchester opted to tune out the noises and wait.
"Then I'm coming with you!" Allie's voice rang through the house, unwanting of being left in the home alone while Dean and Sam roamed pavement in an effort to find their father. Not taking herself as stubborn, just strong headed, she planted her foot firmly into the floor.
"Nice try, no you aren't, Elektra." Dean spoke back with a roll of his eyes, preparing the duffel bags in a line to be thrown in Baby's trunk. "Plus, ain't you tired of my mug yet?"
She stood firm on her opinion. "I'm about to be." The blonde snarked openly. "You need all the help you can get, and I'm awfully kind to volunteer." The sarcasm dripped from her, blatant in disregard for his defiance of her desire to join alongside the fight.
"This is a family matter, Alls! I'll be back soon!"
"I said I'm coming, bonehead! Don't you have ears?"
After some time, their voices quieted down and Dean reluctantly gave up on the argument, allowing her to proceed on the journey in favor of not starting yet another three hour bickering fest between the two of them. Fuckin' woman. She wouldn't know being agreeable if it bit her in the ass and ate her out.
She raced up the stairs two at a time and grabbed her already stuffed backpacks before meeting them at the car and sliding into the backseat. "What?! I'm a girl! I've got a lot of stuff. This is packing light!" She tried to defend having three bags. "I actually have a wardrobe, thank you. Not the same three pairs of jeans." The defense was only natural. It came out automatically.
Dean snorted, shaking his head in mock disapproval as he climbed into the driver's seat and started up the car, classic rock music blaring through the speakers. "Alright, alright," he said with a grunt, revving the engine before pulling out of Bobby's driveway. Allie never packed light. Not once. They'd go somewhere for two days and she'd have a full duffel. Half the time it looked like she was goin' on a month long vacation to the Bahamas. It took him weeks to ease her out of packing all… what did she call them… baby tee's? They were hot, but impractical. Like most of what she used to pack. One would think it would be obvious not to wear heels, not her. She'd just always say "You can look good, and pack a punch." As if that made any sense.
The Impala roared to life, vibrating beneath them as they sped down the empty road towards their next destination.
A desolate bridge persuaded them. The Woman in White. Sam knew what it was pretty quickly. Though she had studied basically night and day, that didn't mean everything actually sat well in the base of her damn cranium. There was a lot to remember, damnit! Not to mention, Dean was not the type to sit and quiz her or research with her. He was more of a… rootin' tootin' type; as in shoot a gun and get distracted after twenty minutes of research.
But, the idea of a mother drowning her children after a revelation of adultery - it was sad. Sometimes people just got the brunt of the lot, she supposed. The man should have been the one wearing a Scarlet A.
Moonlight encompassed them. The darkness… somehow she hadn't grown quite used to it yet. Did things creep her out? Not necessarily. It was a different kind of feeling. The quiet! Yeah, that was the problem. Everything was so damn quiet. That didn't allow her thoughts to be drowned out most of the time.
Speaking of drowned out, her eyes glazed over while the brothers spoke. Tapping out had become somewhat of a coping mechanism. The next thing she knew, there was some sort of an altercation. Raised voices. Kind of sounded like womp womp womp. Charlie Brown voices, but soon the human radio turned back into the main signal.
"Does Jessica know the truth about you? I mean, does she know about the things you've done?" Dean was both elated at the company of his brother, while also frustrated. More than frustrated. Sam ditched. End of the day that's what happened. He said sayonara, hung up the gun, and fucked off. There was a prejudice to it. For fuck's sakes, Sam hid everything! Who fed him, took care of him, dealt with the belt? He did. All of that and Sam… he just didn't get it. He didn't get not being dad's favorite, having to prove everything to everyone. All he had done and Sam decided to hide everything. Decided that their memories were a black mark of tar on his life.
"No, and she's not ever going to know." Sam defended. There was a strange association to it. Jessica represented a restart, one he had been living for well over a year. She was sanctity. She baked! When had anyone ever baked for him? Brownie in a mug maybe… ten years ago? So yeah, Jessica would never know. Why would he tell her? There was absolutely nothing to gain and everything to lose. Jessica loved him, and he loved her. So much so that a small piece of jewelry felt like it wasn't nearly enough, but was what was usual for people. Normal people. When they fell in love.
The whole reason it didn't feel like enough was because of all he had seen. When you find out the world is full of monsters as an elementary student, your perception on things kind of changes. All the things the world had. The ruthless, disgusting, harsh stuff. It just made him want to love her harder. He may not have been the best son, but he could be a good husband. He could be good to her. Telling her he was a fucking monster hunter was… not being good to her.
And suddenly unkind words came out, followed by unkind hands. The tension was scalding, both staring with jaws clenched.
The fast pass to aggression as Allie folded back into reality brought her muscles to a tight clamp. Before she could react though, Dean was letting go of Sam's jacket and backing away. Talking about not saying things about their mother. Sore subject. Dean didn't talk about it a lot. In fact, he didn't talk about much in terms of his past. Dean just wasn't like that, though they still had their moments of… clarity together. The sentimental times came in small doses.
And there she was. Standing in the night, bathed in the moon and all of it's serene beauty. Her hair was brilliantly dark and flowing in the slight wind. The curtain of her white gown swayed around her. The Woman in White. She stood on the bridge's edge and turned. There was something… there. A dissociation in ghostly eyes. Did she know that she had lived this scenario many times over? Usually when someone commits suicide… It's meant to be the final song. Playing the tune over and over over again must have been an awful fate.
Sam pointed her out. Within seconds bright lights caught Allie's eyes. They tweaked a bit in confusion. "I hate to break up the Jackson 2 family reunion, but did you leave your lights on?" Not typical of Dean. He treated Baby like a goddamn girlfriend. Letting the battery run out certainly wouldn't be car boyfriend material.
"What? No I nev-" and he turned, only for Sam to pipe up as well. Next thing she saw was Dean holding his keys out. Barely any time before Baby revved forward.
"FUCK!" Hightailing? Understatement of the century. Their legs took off in race. She watched as Dean jumped over the bridge. Rather than that, Allie did a small throw, swinging herself underneath and holding the under railing by the elbows and ankles in a cradling fashion. The sound of the car roaring passed and the feeling of the bridge rumbling was unnerving, but frankly she'd done the hold before - though it was generally for midnight party trick reasons and not because a pissed off murdering momma wanted to run them over.
By the time they finished defeating the woman in white, the Impala was... pretty fucked up considering Sam had driven it through an aged and abandoned house.
Allie sat awkwardly in the backseat as the boys fought a bit over Sam going back home to Jessica and school so soon. After Dean dropped Sam off he talked about having a "bad feeling".
Well, it seemed he was right because minutes later he was racing out of the apartment with Sam in his arms while Jessica burned. Allie had no idea. She stayed in the backseat at the time. "What happened?!" She got out to join them before flames fiercely erupted from the apartment building. The smell of fiery flesh filled the night air. The boys reacted but not to the smell. And god, did it smell. She'd never experienced it before. It's like the burning skin was in her throat and ripping at her nostrils.
Sam's heart felt like it had been ripped out of his chest as he stumbled into the road, still reeling from the sight of flames engulfing what was once his home. Jessica... she was gone. Gone in a flash, consumed by fire and smoke that filled the night air with an acrid smell of burning flesh and charred wood.
Dean wrapped him in a bear hug, pulling his taller brother's head down under his chin, unable to process the unfathomable loss that Sam had faced. Although Dean had only just met Jessica his grief was profound. Why? Because his baby brother was going through it. That was enough for him to go through it too.
Dean's arms tightened around Sam, holding him close as the warmth from the flames licked at their heels. The heat was intense, but it paled in comparison to the raging inferno that had consumed Dean's thoughts. He could feel Sam trembling against him, the feeling was familiar. Just like when they were kids.
"Jessica is...gone."
Sam's body shook violently in Dean's arms, his mind reeling with disbelief and grief. Jessica was gone; she had been taken from him so suddenly, her warmth replaced by cold ashes and debris. The world around them seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them standing amidst a storm of ambulances, cop cars, and civilians.
Tears welled up in his eyes, threatening to spill over in anguish, but he fought back the urge to break down. He couldn't. He was too angry. The monster that killed their mother was back. It was no coincidence. Jessica was dead. All that was left was rage and a deep-seated desire for revenge over everything that had gone sideways in their lives. The way the monster had fucked with them, had made them this way.
"We've got work to do"