"A single lie discovered is enough to create contagious doubt over every other truth expressed."

- Unknown


The next time Merlin opened his eyes he was laying on Gaius's own cot, in the familiar Physician's quarters. He could hear the ruffling of pages over in the direction of the table, the clinking of glass as Gaius worked on some kind of potion. The bright light hurt his eyes and he half closed them, waiting for them to adjust. When they did he sat up slowly, swinging his feet out from under the covers, blinking away the sudden dizziness that came with the motion. But before he could stand up Gaius rushed over to him; sitting on the side of his bed and pulling him into a tight hug, "I thought I'd lost you."

Feeling a little overwhelmed Merlin hugged him back.

Leon, who Merlin hadn't noticed until he spoke, was sitting on a stool, "Welcome back." he smiled, looking tired.

When at last Gaius released him Merlin rubbed his head, "What happened?"

Gaius and Leon glanced at each other, "Well," began Gaius "When Freya disappeared you fainted.

Wanting to avoid talking about Freya Merlin quickly asked a question, "How long was I out for?"

"Three days," sighed Leon, looking tired.

Eyes widening slightly Merlin looked to Gaius for affirmation, "Three days?"

Calm down Merlin, you were dead for almost three days. In fact, I'm surprised you're already awake." said Gaius firmly.

"Arthur will want to know you've woken up." Leon sighed again, "It's good to see you're doing okay." He nodded first at Merlin and then at Gaius before leaving the room, presumably to go find Arthur.

There was a long pause as Gaius simply looked at Merlin, "I've never been more proud of anybody as I am of you." And it was true: this person before him, this amazing young man who refused to give up, who despite his pain had fought on to protect everything he held most dear. He was the one thing Gaius didn't think he could live without. "Just promise me, you'll never put me through something like that ever again."

Gaius's words gave Merlin a warm feeling and he smiled, "Don't worry, I don't plan to."

"Yes well, we both know how often you plan on staying out of trouble but then dive into it anyway." said Gaius rather dryly and they laughed.

Finally Gaius breached the subject they both knew had to be discussed: Arthur. "I tried to talk to him once, explain some things." said Gaius cautiously.

"How did he take it?" asked Merlin in some trepidation.

"He wouldn't listen. I think he wants to hear it from you."

Merlin covered his face with his hands, "How can I face him Gaius? What can I possibly say?"

"Tell him the truth." said Gaius simply, "That's the best course of action now."

There was a knock on the door and Arthur walked in, dressed in his usual chain mail and looking rather grave.

Giving Merlin's shoulder a reassuring squeeze Gaius stood, bowing, and exiting the room, leaving the two of them alone.

"Sire." said Merlin quietly, unable to meet Arthur's eyes.

He made to stand up but Arthur raised one hand, "No stay, its fine. How are you feeling?" Arthur pulled the stool Leon had until recently occupied over to the bed and sat on it.

"Tired, and a little bit sore." answered Merlin rather cautiously. He really didn't know what to expect, and this is exactly what he had thought to avoid by dying.

"Understandable, considering everything you've been through." replied Arthur. There was a long pause, "Merlin… you died for me."

"If i'm completely honest, I had a feeling that I wouldn't survive the fight. All I wanted was to win, one way or another." answered Merlin quietly

"But you still fought."

"Without hesitation."

There was a long moment where they simply stared at each other, heavy looks full of doubt, hopes, and unanswered questions.

"You have magic." Said Arthur bluntly, now getting straight to the point.

Forcing himself to meet Arthur's gaze, Merlin's hands tightened around the edge of his blanket nervously, "I was born with it".

Exhaling a rough breath Arthur closed his eyes. "So you've had magic this whole time."

Merlin's heart sank, "I'm sorry, I wanted to tell you Arthur, but-"

Holding his hands out, Arthur opened his eyes, "What excuse could you possibly have to justify not telling me? You really think you couldn't have trust me with this! I thought that you were… that we were friends." Arthur seemed to realize his voice had risen to an angry shout and looked away, taking a deep, shaky breath.

Merlin felt as thought Arthur had slapped him, his words cutting deep. There were things that Merlin could say to this, reasons that he'd compiled in his mind over time, explanations that made sense even under normal circumstances. But now that the moment had come, Merlin was utterly helpless. "You would have chopped my head off," he finally managed in a small voice.

Arthur was quiet for a few long moments "There are some who want you executed in accordance with the laws of Camelot. They saw how powerful you are, which I admit was rather alarming, and do not want to risk you turning against Camelot."

"I knew the risks I was taking. I won't try and run, whatever decision you make." said Merlin.

There was a flash of hurt in Arthur's eyes, "You really think that I would ever… "he looked down, "You really have such a low opinion of me."

Startled at this unexpected reaction Merlin shook his head "no, no that's not what… I…" he sighed "Arthur, for years I've heard you, seen the way you feel about magic. I- I didn't want to make you choose."

Pointing a rigid finger at Merlin Arthur's voice was uneven, "You've lied to me." there was a pause as he rested a fist against his lips. "You thought you could keep it secret forever?"

Merlin was startled: for a few moments the stoic man who hardly ever let anything phase him was gone. Arthur seemed almost vulnerable, and Merlin could see just how hurt he was, "I'm sorry."

"You said that."

"It's true."

Standing, Arthur gesturing wildly "I don't… I can't." The anger as well as the pain of betrayal was now unmistakable in Arthur's mannerisms.

Face falling Merlin swiped at the tears that had formed in his eyes before they could fall.

The sight of Merlin's tears seemed to almost calm Arthur and he took a deep breath "I'm sorry- I just, I need to be somewhere else till I… I process all of it."

Despite everything a flicker of hope rekindled inside of Merlin. Would he be allowed to stay? "So, you're not banishing me?"

Shaking his head Arthur sat back down on the very edge of the stool.

"And… you're not executing me?" clarified Merlin uneasily.

"No." Arthur stared at Merlin, "But it was much easier to forgive you as you died in my arms."

It was said very bluntly and Merlin almost flinched, "I understand"

There was a long and heavy silence between them, the newly revealed secrets and tangled feelings forming some kind of thorny divide between them, "I have asked George to take over your duties." said Arthur finally.

Merlin was acutely aware that Arthur hadn't said exactly how long George was to be taking over his duties, but was too nervous of what the answer would be to ask. Would Arthur still trust him enough to allow him to continue on as his manservant? The thought sent a chill through him.

The next thing either of them knew the door banged open and Gwaine, Percival, Elyan, and Leon came into the room. "Merlin, welcome back to the world of the living!" announced Gwaine, but they all stopped when they saw the scene they had walked in on.

Rising, Arthur avoided looking at Merlin, his face becoming an expressionless mask. "Get your rest; I'll visit you again once I've… sorted things out."

Arthur had reached the door before Merlin said just loudly enough for him to hear, "I do have magic." Taking a chance Merlin and held out one palm, "Hine on ylde eft gewunigen wilgesiþas, þonne wig cume." His eyes flooded with gold and a revolving blue bubble of light formed in his palm. Arthur turned and as Merlin had hoped there was a flicker of recognition in his eyes "I use it for you Arthur, always for you".

He could feel all of the knights staring at him but he kept his eyes fixed on Arthur alone. After a long moment Arthur pulled open the door and walked out, brushing past Gaius on his way.

The light in Merlin's hand slowly faded and he was left sitting in bed, looking rather forlornly at the spot where Arthur had been moments before. He lowered his hand again, clenching one fist around the sheets.

As to Merlin's magic, all the knights had come to terms with it, although some quicker than others. It was understandable how Arthur was having a much harder time. For one, he had grown up all his life hearing that magic was evil, and although the others had as well it had been the King, his Father, pressing this idea directly upon him. And besides, the bond that Merlin and Arthur shared was beyond anything the knights could understand, it wasn't even logical. Nobody else could get away with treating Arthur as Merlin did without getting thrown in the stocks at least. But they had all grown to accept it, they all believed that Merlin had come back from the dead. Merlin had become like a little brother to them all, and his loss had had a profound effect on them all.

"It's good to see you alive again, we thought we'd lost you for good." said Gwaine with a wide grin.

"We were a bit worried when you collapsed after that girl disappeared, but it looks like it was nothing to worry about." Added Percival, also smiling.

"How could he not be? Gaius has hardly left his side until now." said Leon.

Merlin had unsteadily gotten out of bed, and was now surrounded by the Knights, all giving him their own kind of greeting.

Suddenly Gwaine seemed to realize something, "You… you were the old man…"

Without warning he cuffed Merlin on the side of the head, not hard enough to actually hurt but not exactly gently. "Dragoon the Great? Really?"

"Well I couldn't exactly act like myself, could I?" Merlin exclaimed in indignation, unsuccessfully trying to pull away as Gwaine put him into a playful headlock. Although he had rather enjoyed tormenting the knights, he decided it was best not to mention it.

"Yeah? Well it seemed to come pretty naturally." said Percival, raising one eyebrow and crossing his arms over his broad chest, smirking. Leon smiled and nodded in consent, relaxing slightly in the light atmosphere.

Shaking his head Elyan smiled, moving to sit on the once more unoccupied stool.

Now that they all knew Dragoon the Great had never really meant any harm to Camelot it put all their dealings with him in a new perspective. When they thought about it, none of them had ever really been put into harm's way as a result of Dragoon's actions.

Gwaine finally released Merlin and they all laughed. But for Merlin the light hearted moment passed quickly as Leon's words came back to him-

("All I know for sure is that Arthur is having a very hard time with all of this.")

Merlin already knew that, but there was something about hearing it from a third party that made it seem even worse. What would happen? Could things ever be the same between himself and Arthur? This right here, this is how he wanted things to be again. But was that possible? He forced his thoughts away from that dark path with a question, "So you're all okay then?"

"What?" asked Elyan blankly.

"Well, you guys probably weren't treated very gently while in the care of Queen Jezebel."

"Imagine you asking us that. You actually died, and you're worrying about us having spent a week in a dungeon. That's just so… so typical of you." said Leon, sounding a bit baffled.

At the mention of Merlin dying everybody remembered the exact details of that day on the field when Merlin had battled alone for all of Camelot. For just a moment, they had all forgotten how serious the situation was.

("You've lied to me. You thought you could keep it secret forever?")

There was a very long and painful silence where nobody knew what to say. It was finally broken by Merlin, "I'm sorry." Merlin felt tears welling up in his eyes and sat on the edge of the bed, propped his elbows on his knees, and rested his face in his hands."I've really messed up".

None of them needed Merlin to specify, they knew exactly what he was apologizing for, although not all of them thought he had to in the first place. People like Gwaine, and Percival. But nobody, not even Gwaine, knew what to say. They knew it must be devastating for Merlin to have Arthur react like he was, but there was nothing any of them could do about it.

Merlin felt rather than heard the Knights leave one by one, unsure what else to do. After a while of sitting in silence he felt the bed sag slightly as somebody sat down next to him. He expected Gaius to speak, but instead the voice when it came belonged to Gwaine,"He will forgive you. He cares for you and he does trust you, I can feel it. Only someone who feels very strongly would be so hurt."

Turning his head, Merlin considered Gwaine, "And how do you feel about it". The question slipped out and he immediately wished he could take it back.

"I suspected for a long time to be honest." admitted Gwaine rather casually.

"And you never said anything?" asked Merlin in disbelief.

"I knew that you would say something when you were ready. It's not like you didn't have reasons, I wanted to respect that. Besides, I might have been wrong." He reached over, putting one arm companionably around Merlin's shoulders "Merlin, you're my friend and whether you have magic or not isn't going to change that. I still trust you, and I know that Arthur feels the same even if it's taking him a little longer to figure that out."

Closing his eyes Merlin thought how badly he wanted to believe that, more than anything else, "Thanks Gwaine, you're a true friend".

Ruffling Merlin's hair fondly Gwaine stood up, "Just remember you're not alone".

Nodding, tears once again blurred Merlin's vision. He watched as Gwaine walked to the door, pausing and looking back when he reached the doorway, "Don't worry about Arthur, he'll come around. Anybody can see that you mean a lot to him".

With that Gwaine left, and though Merlin would have thought it impossible only seconds before, he felt a little better.


reviews?