I hear him before I see him, which I probably should have expected, given that I currently have a blindfold over my head. Despite knowing this, it makes the situation feel more intense, with all my senses amplified and on high alert.
As I hear the familiar click-click-clicking of his expensive alligator shoes making their way towards me, I am once again reminded of the day we first met. Me, a young scholarship student with the rash hot-headedness of a fearless hedgehog. Him, the arrogant heir to the Dao Ming fortune who would challenge anyone who dared defy the rule of his kingdom to a game of bridge. I almost chuckle to myself at how absurd it would have been to our younger selves to find out that we are now together. Not only together, but so happily so that I can't even imagine myself being with anyone else.
After all, who else could I possibly have fallen in love with after a "meet-cute" of me literally kicking him in the face? No one, but my Ah Si, of course.
In fact, now, instead of contempt, I feel an entire wave of relief washing over me to hear those shoes of his coming my way. Behind the scratchy burlap that's covering my eyes, I imagine his silly and slightly over-gelled pineapple-spiked hair making its way towards me, his strong but gentle hands untying me and holding me close, and his stupid, ineloquent mouth spouting sweet nothings and telling me that everything is going to be ok.
I close my eyes and relish in my imagination, because there is nothing else I can do right now. It is all I can do to stave away the underlying fear –and from what I've been through with this man, trust me, it's there– that something much worse could happen. Something much much worse, just like last time.
No, don't think about that, I say to myself while shaking my head. Instead, I will myself to go back to thinking happy thoughts, like the time we watched fireworks together after nearly freezing to death on New Year's eve or that time we had what we thought would be our last meal together in London for good, or... I can't help it but I start silently sobbing to myself in place.
I know this is the worst time possible for these emotions to hit, but somehow, after two and a half years together, this is when they have finally decided to hit. Because of course it is. And it is only now dawning on me that I've never really fully processed everything that happened to us during the tumultuous early months of our courtship.
All of our misunderstandings of each other, of our own emotions, and of the sabotage from his family –somehow, it feels like all of it is crashing down on me at once. Because I am just now realizing just how much of our early relationship had been tinged with sadness. Not even tinged, but permeated so thoroughly that we had been like the sad little donkey character from Winnie-the-Pooh with a perpetual cloud of misfortune hanging over his head.
I stifle in a sob as a pair of large arms envelop me. I don't even know whose they are as the hysteria of my mind kicks in. But I slowly make out the voice, and it's several voices, and it's Mei Zuo and XiMen who are untying me and removing my blindfold and telling me that everything is going to be okay.
"Where is Ah Si?" I ask them as I finally blink in the light of the (once again) empty warehouse that I've been brought to. And why do our kidnappers always choose the same-looking abandoned old warehouses?
"He and Lei are handling things," Xi Men replies calmly, tugging at my arm so I can stand, because after all these hours of calf cramping, I seem to have forgotten how to.
"Come with us now, we have a car out back," Mei Zuo continues, leading the way.
And I nod, because it's nice to finally see some friendly faces again. But I'm still on edge because I still haven't seen the face of the man I love again yet. And because all I can think about is how badly it ended last time.
"Will he be okay on his own?" I ask weakly, because I want the reassurance that he has brought backup of some sort. Maybe one of the many members of the surveillance detail that his mom had tailing him all over the city when we were dating all those years ago. Or one of the many security guards posted around her lavish mansion next to Kensington Gardens. Or, honestly, any sort of security detail at all would suffice because God knows the heir of the Dao Ming group could afford the best that money could buy.
Of course, I have a sinking suspicion that my hot-headed Ah Si probably doesn't have any of that right now. Because in moments like these, his modus operandi is to rush into the situation with nothing more than himself and (if they're lucky enough to be clued in) his three childhood best friends.
"Oh, Ah Si," I murmur to myself. "Come back to me safely please."