6

Derek had sat there watching her sleep. He heard the soft whimpers and he heard her slight gasping. He watched as her face contorted in her sleep as the dreams became more unpleasant and then watch as the pain dissipated and her expression returned to being neutral.

The sun was moving in the sky and it shone through the window moving along the bed as the day progressed.

Emily and Penelope popped in and out of the room to make sure that JJ was okay. And also to make sure that Derek was doing okay. He wasn't saying a lot. He was simply sitting there watching over her. Guarding her almost.

Penelope was busying herself with dinner – pumpkin soup – she figured it was something easy that JJ would be able to eat without too much fuss.

As she was nearing the end of the process, in JJ's bedroom her eyes were starting to flutter open. She quickly scanned the room for any dangers or hazards and was met with a figure sitting next to her, watching over her.

"Derek?" she asked confused.

"Ah, yeah? Who else?" he smiled kindly.

"I'm asleep?"

"No Jayje. You seem pretty awake to me."

"I mean, I'm awake now, but I went to sleep?"

"Yep. You fell asleep on me when we were outside, so I brought you in and Penelope and I put you in bed so that you could get a much needed rest."

"Oh. Thanks Derek."

"That's okay. So do you want to get up? I have it on good authority that Penelope is going to have dinner ready in about 15 minutes."

JJ sighed at the thought of more food. Didn't she just eat?

"I… Okay."

'That was easy.' Derek thought to himself.

Before he went in to pick JJ up, he first took a hold of her hand and asked her to look at him.

"JJ? I know that you are not feeling great. You're probably feeling pretty lousy. But can I ask you something?"

"Okay…" she answered uneasily.

"Do you believe in yourself? Do you believe in yourself enough to believe that you can recover from this?"

JJ looked at him. She hadn't expected that from Derek Morgan.

"I… I don't know what I believe right now. And that really is the truth. But can I tell you something Derek?"

"Of course."

"When I know, you'll be the second to find out."

Derek smiled sadly at her. He wasn't sure if what she had said was good or not. She hadn't lied but what she had said wasn't exactly what he had wanted to hear.

"Okay then JJ. Ready to head out?"

"Yep."

Walking out into the lounge he was met by a bustling Garcia who was helping an obviously sore Emily from her seat on the couch up to her feet.

Derek looked at the duo. "We can just eat in here can't we? I mean as long as Emily's okay with it."

"Well that's the thing…" Garcia said "she said that she needs a change of scenery and wants to sit at the table."

"Oh. Okay. Sounds good."

"Hey Jayje, you look better. More rested. You've got the just woken up vibe going on."

"I'm feeling more rested. Thanks. And I could say the same thing to you Prentiss."

Emily laughed. "Another reason I need to get off that damn couch. I fell asleep and have a sore back now."

Upon saying those words she immediately regretted it. The look of guilt and shame that clouded JJ's eyes was enough to strike her heart.

"Oh honey. I didn't mean it like that I-" she said as she thought of her mangled back that she knew JJ felt responsible for.

"I know, it's fine." She said quickly, burying her face in Derek's chest and away from prying eyes.

The three looked at each other and silently moved into the kitchen.

The table was all set up ready for dinner. The soup was just sitting on the stove.

Emily was guided to her seat first and then while Derek was getting JJ into a comfortable position Penelope was filling the bowls with soup.

JJ could feel her stomach starting to growl. She knew that she was hungry and the soup smelt so good. Now it was just a case of actually getting it into her system and keeping it down.

Garcia had placed the bowl close to JJ so that it would be much easier for her to eat her soup.

They all began, but it quickly became apparent that while the meal was an easy one for JJ to consume, it was still hard for her to actually get the food to her mouth.

Her hand was not as steady as it had been before the kidnapping. Even though it was her undamaged hand, the trauma of everything that had happened to her had still affected her ability to complete everyday day tasks.

Her three work colleagues and companions sat around the table trying to focus on what they were each individually doing, but could not help but to sneak glances at their friend. She was struggling, but her persistence and the resistance they knew they would face if they offered to help made them keep their mouths shut.

For the time being anyway.

JJ was managing shaky spoonfuls of soup, getting the spoon to her lips before allowing the liquid to slowly move down her throat. She had to contort her body to get it as close as possible to the table to avoid her shaky hand dropping any.

Penelope could see the struggle and couldn't stand it anymore. She was just about to suggest putting it in a mug so she could drink it when it happened.

JJ had slowly been moving the bowl closer to the edge of the table so that she could reach it easier. On the fifth spoonful she moved it just a little too far and before anyone could stop it the bowl tipped off the edge of the table, emptying the contents onto JJ before hitting the grounding next to her, thankfully not smashing.

There was a brief moment where everyone's mouths were gaping open. They snapped shut however as JJ let out a pained noise. The soup wasn't boiling, but it was still hot enough that you had to blow on it before you actually put it into your mouth.

"SHIT. Shit shit shit. That's really hot."

Derek and Penelope were out of their seats like rockets.

"Quick Derek lift her up so that we can get the top of the sweats off so that the soup doesn't soak through them and the dressings and affect the stitches."

JJ didn't even have time to process what was being said. Let alone the fact that she wasn't getting a choice in what they were about to do. She could only focus on the fact there was currently hot soup on her lap and it felt like it was burning.

"That's it, like that."

Garcia realised that the brace was going to be a problem and quickly started undoing the Velcro straps so that she could pull it free from JJ's leg.

A stifled gasp of shock, surprise and pain from her friend made the bubbly woman apologise, but nevertheless continue on with her task.

When the brace was off, while making sure that JJ's knee was supported she pulled the young blondes sweat pants down and off so that the spillage would be limited.

The dressings had a slight orange tinge to them and Garcia became worried. Even more so when she looked up to see JJ in a trance like state. Her eyes were wide and she rarely blinked. She was like a deer caught in the headlights.

"JJ? JJ come back to me."

She waved her hand in front of JJ's face and eventually they were looking into each others' eyes. "That's it."

"Sweetie. Don't freak out. It's okay honey."

"I…" she began "I…" What could she say? She didn't know what she should say. She spilt her food like a child would. And they had to treat her like one too. Getting her out of her dirty pants. Could this get worse?

Well, yes. It had. Showering and going to the bathroom were painful experiences. They were mentally exhausting. And outright humiliating.

"Yes honey?"

"I don't know."

"That's okay. You don't have to know. I don't know what I want half the time either. I kind of just go with what others are doing. Is that okay with you? Can you let us help you?"

"I- why?" JJ asked slightly confused.

"Because the dressings on your legs need changing, some of the skin is red and we should put cold flannels on them so that they don't hurt you later. We don't want you to get an infection. Then after a while you can change into PJ's or put more sweatpants on."

When JJ looked down at her legs she noticed her lack of clothing and immediately furrowed her eyebrows. "Wh… I…?"

"You spilt the soup so we had to take them off so that it didn't go everywhere."

Looking down at her bruises she suddenly felt very exposed. Her eyes widened to their limit and kept flicking between her legs and Garcia's eyes.

"It's okay sweetie. Do you want to go to your room and lie down for this?"

She nodded her head briefly and bowed her head feeling shameful for what she thought of as her own incompetence when it came to eating a simple meal. This is what that man had taken from her. He had taken so much, and it just kept getting worse. She didn't want to be there. To be so reliant on her friends.

"Can I lift you up Jayje?"

She didn't respond at all, in the positive or the negative, so he took that as a yes and gently lifted her taking her into the bedroom.

"JJ, it's okay you know. To have accidents. You're still getting used to things being a bit different."

She snapped quickly at him. "A bit different Derek? Are you thick? I may as well be a bloody toddler. I can't change my clothes, I can't shower or even go to the damn toilet. And now you have to clean up my mess like I'm a damn child. Like I've done for Jack. Because he's a child."

"JJ, you need to cut yourself some slack. You have been through something traumatic and it's going to take you a while to get back to normal."

"Yeah, forever."

"No Jayje. Not forever. Just a while. And you have to work through it. But we will be there for you. All of us, and you know it."

She looked at him for a long while appreciatively and didn't know what to say. Her chest had started to hurt from supporting herself sitting upright.

"Do you want to lie down?"

Derek could tell she was sore, but couldn't relent and admit it.

"I…" She did want to. But she couldn't. And she needed to go to the bathroom. She began to bite her lip. She couldn't just ask.

"Is there something that you need JJ?"

She couldn't just ask could she? Her eyes quickly made their way to the bathroom door and then she looked at her hands.

"Do you want to go to the bathroom?"

She kept her eyes downcast.

"Jayje?"

She looked up at him with red eyes, and a few tears on her cheeks.

"It's okay JJ. Come on."

When she was back on her bed, Derek tried to make small talk.

Then Garcia arrived and JJ simply turned her head away, ending effectively ending the conversation.

Penelope walked up to the bed looking JJ's legs over.

"How are they feeling JJ?"

"They're… they're stinging a bit. But I mean, don't worry. It's fine."

"No we'll try and stop that. Derek can you please get cold flannels while I change the gauze."

Derek fiddled around in the bathroom as Garcia pulled the tape off of her legs.

Penelope kept a straight face as she saw the flesh that had been sewn back together.

"I cleaned the brace but it is just drying off. So you have to be careful with your leg until we can get it back on okay? Now I have just put the new strips on-" Derek walked into the room "And my hunk of chocolate wet these flannels. Your skin is slightly red so it must be sore."

Penelope carefully applied the flannels looking for any signs that crossed JJ's face. The only thing that JJ portrayed was relief. The cool was soothing on her sore skin.

It was only at this point that JJ truly noticed just how clothe less she was. Derek noticed her discomfort and excused himself to go and sit with Emily.

"Do you want to try to get some sleep?"

"No. I'll get the bed wet. And I need to change."

"It won't matter. Trust me. And you don't need to change. Unless you're uncomfortable?"

"No, it's fine."

"Okay then. Would you like me to go?"

"I… can you stay? I mean you don't have to. I just feel like whenever I'm around you guys I need something. And I really just want your friendship."

"Of course honey."

Penelope drew the curtains and sat on the edge of the bed. She took JJ's hand and squeezed it. She stayed far enough away so that JJ wouldn't feel crowded, and wasn't surprised when JJ took her hand back presumably so she could go to sleep.

What did surprise her though was when JJ used that hand to help her shimmy closer.

Penelope quickly stopped her though and moved closer to JJ, who leaned against Garcia, closing her eyes, breathing in and out as she tried to go to sleep.

45 minutes later Derek and Emily stuck their heads around the door frame and were surprised to see JJ asleep against Penelope who had eyeliner smudges down her face.

"She wanted me to stay. And then I just couldn't leave. It felt like today we finally took a baby step. And I don't want to let her go because I don't know how far back she is going to creep into her shell after she has to give her statement tomorrow."

Dun dun dun. Statement time. That's going to be hard to write. In a sad, horrible way and a flexing my writing muscles kind of way. I am moving soon and beginning full time study again but I aim to have the next chapter up before then. A lovely PM from JJCM and your fantastic reviews / follows / favs have made me want to write again. So please let me know what you think of this chap. Thanks. : )