8

Morgan breathed in and out, contemplating what he could do for his friend. He moved his hand out, reaching out to touch her. Though quickly he shied away as she pulled further away and hunched her shoulders pulling herself as far into her own body as possible.

Derek ran his hand over his head, a faint line of perspiration droplets forming on his forehead. As he was about to attempt to break the barrier between him and JJ once again, he was stopped by Emily's voice.

"Hold on Derek. Just… just let me try."

Emily had been feeling miserable. She knew that she herself was struggling with what had happened to her and the amount that she was relying on her friends. She also knew that she had been repressing what had happened to her as much as possible, choosing to avoid dealing with it for as long as she possibly could.

But since she saw the gut-wrenching look on JJ's face when she made JJ feel as though what happened to her was all JJ's fault she couldn't help the feeling that as much as she was repressing all her emotions, JJ was too.

The entire team had the most basic of understandings when it came to knowing what had happened to JJ. She had had the kit done at the hospital, and that was that. Nothing else had been mentioned. Nothing else had been pushed.

Not until now that was. Emily knew that the only reason that she hadn't been more emotional when giving her statement was because she had learned long ago how to deal with her emotions. All thanks to her time with Interpol.

But now, looking down at her blonde best friend, struggling with the torment that's still so fresh in her mind, she remembered back to a time when she was younger and 'dealing' was not that easy.

That was where JJ was at right now. She had been through things in her life. Everyone experiences different trials. But this was in an entire league of its own.

"Can you please help me down?"

Morgan and Hotch carefully lowered Emily to the ground next to JJ, but the presence of all three people so close to her made JJ begin to cry out, and plead to be left alone.

"I think that you guys should all move back. Go behind the couch. She shouldn't mind you over there. It's too much with everyone so close."

The two agents followed her orders.

Penelope's face was flushed and she was visibly upset. She gratefully accepted the support of Morgan's arm around her shoulders as they started to watch the scene from afar.

"JJ… can you hear me?"

At the sound of Emily's questioning voice she started to respond.

"Please… please! Stop! Please. You don't have to do this. No! STOP. Please!"

"JJ! JJ! No one here is going to hurt you. You're home. You're safe. You are with people who love you."

She began whimpering and shaking uncontrollably, caught in the midst of a horrible, never ending nightmare.

Tentatively Emily reached out her hand, gently grazing the top of JJ's.

A loud gasp emanated throughout the room as her eyebrows furrowed. Her steely gaze met Emily's harrowed look and a flicker of recognition dawned in her eyes.

But the result of her recognition was not appealing to anyone.

Wincing as she did so, she launched herself at Emily.

The four team members were shocked to her wrapping her good arm around Emily with her head resting in Emily's lap. The choked sobs that were escaping were muffling her words so that that it was only Emily that could hear.

She was begging. Begging for Emily's forgiveness.

Emily started to rub JJ's forehead, and run her fingers through her hair. "JJ, I forgive you. But you don't need forgiving. It wasn't your fault. Please. Please believe me."

"I'm so sorry. Please, please, Em, please."

"Honey, I forgive you. Listen to me. I forgive you." Emily didn't need to forgive JJ. There was nothing to be forgiven. She knew that what JJ really needed was to forgive herself.

JJ was continuing to plead, becoming increasingly agitated as her sobs wracked her body stopping her from really hearing Emily and what she was saying.

"Honey please calm down."

But it wasn't getting through. She was just getting worse. Her breathing was erratic and her face was becoming redder by the second.

"Breathe JJ, breathe."

But she wasn't understanding.

And that was when Emily understood that she was just going to have to let JJ ride it out.

So she sat there, rubbing JJ's face and her back, waiting.

JJ's breaths got shorter and shorter before her eyes started to close.

Morgan had a tearful Penelope wrapped in his arms as she buried her face in his chest. Even the stoic Hotch had a telling expression of emotions on his face.

The following 53 seconds were the longest 53 seconds of their lives.

…

"She's out."

O/o

"She passed out?" Penelope tentatively asked.

"Yes Pen. But it's okay. It was probably for the best. There was no way she was coming back from that."

The three walked up to her and saw a red-faced, sweaty JJ, heavy breathing, passed out on top of Emily.

"Are you okay Em?"

"Me? Hotch I'm fine. It's JJ. She just… she doesn't forgive herself. And she can ask me for forgiveness as much as she wants, but if she doesn't forgive herself then it isn't going to matter. We… we need to help her. To help her see that. When she's ready, she needs to see that."

"She's going to need to see a therapist. We'll have to help her understand that, and understand that she has to be honest, because what she has been through is too much to go through alone." Morgan said to the group as he bent down next to the pair on the ground.

"Should I take her to her room?"

"Yeah I think so. But I'm going to go with her, we don't know what she'll be like when she wakes up. She needs a friendly face."

Derek gently lifted her off of Emily and headed out of the lounge to the bedroom. Hotch and Penelope helped Emily up and followed Derek.

When they arrived Derek was just tucking JJ in.

"Derek can you please get a wet flannel?"

He headed off into the bathroom as Emily pulled a seat right next to JJ.

"I've got her. You guys can go and relax. We don't all need to be anxious. I'll call out or come get you if I need you at all."

"Okay Princess. Make sure you do." He told her as he kissed her head.

As they were left alone Emily looked JJ over. Her eyebrows were still creased and her breathing still wasn't even.

"Oh Jayje. Sweet Jayje." She murmured as she took the flannel from the bedside table and placed it across JJ's forehead in an attempt to cool her face down.

O/o

A few hours had passed before JJ began to rouse from her sleep.

It was late afternoon as JJ's eyelids began to flutter open.

"JJ, honey."

As Emily reached out to touch her hand JJ pulled away, still slightly confused.

"JJ you're okay. You're back with us. It's Emily and I'm not going to hurt you."

The large bags under JJ's eyes showed that she was still exhausted but she still attempted to get up.

"Woah, honey hold on there. I'll get Morgan to help."

"NO." she admonished rather quickly.

"Okay then, I get Penelope."

"No, not her either."

"I… do you want me to try and help?"

"No. I… I just don't want to be touched. Please. Just… don't touch me."

"Okay. I won't JJ."

"I… I was in the lounge. I… Hotch? My statement? What…?" she asked, mumbling the words, running them together as she tried to get them out quickly.

"JJ. Just breathe. In and out. After you finished giving your statement you had a panic attack. You weren't yourself, and no matter how much Derek and I tried to get through to you, to get you back, nothing worked. You started hyperventilating and then shortly after that you passed out on me. Derek put you to bed and I stayed with you."

JJ's mouth gaped and as she slowly processed the information she was told.

"Oh God. Oh god, that is so embarrassing. Oh the humiliation, I'll nev-"

"JJ, don't do that to yourself."

"Emily…"

"No JJ. Come on now. You've been through a lot. Honestly, we both have. You and I know it. It just came to light this afternoon. It's going to be a long hard road to recovery; for both of us…"

JJ looked at her sceptically, and noticed that Emily's hand was hovering close to hers, but respectfully allowing the distance between the two to be kept. But JJ made the brave decision to grasp Emily's hand. They intertwined their fingers and Emily locked eyes with JJ.

"… but we've got each other, and we've got the team, and we will get through this together."

JJ's eyes started welling up.

"Jeez, I can't seem to stop crying. I cry at everything. It's beginning to drive me crazy."

"It's okay to cry JJ."

"Yeah, but I don't have to like it."

Emily just smiled at her while rolling her eyes.

"So how are you feeling Jayje? What do you want to do?"

"I… I'm not sure. I don't want to stay in bed."

"So then you won't. Are you okay with Derek lifting you?"

JJ contemplated for a moment. "I… Emily I'm feeling mortified. I can't face them right now."

Emily looked at her "Honey, no one cares. That's just you. But no one else does. It happens."

"But-"

"No buts. So the question remains. Are you okay with Derek lifting you and carrying you?"

"I… I guess."

"Are you sure?"

"I… yeah."

"Okay. DEREK." She shouted.

They heard him come skidding down the hall, racing into the room like he was on fire.

"What… are you… is everything…?"

He couldn't help but smile as he heard the smallest of giggles coming from JJ.

"I see that someone is awake."

"We were thinking of heading into the lounge."

"Oh okay. JJ you cool with that?"

Nodding her head slightly, she reached down to pull the duvet off of the lower half of her body.

…

Arriving in the lounge she was greeted by a peppy Garcia, but also noticed that Hotch was gone.

"Hotch left?"

"Yeah, he had to go and get your… statement sorted out. Typed up and what not."

JJ's eyes became downcast. "Oh."

"He said that Reid wants to come by soon. So that'll be nice."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Soo, what do you want to do?"

The four looked at each other.

"Movie?"

"Sounds good. But please no chick flicks."

"Derek, you're living with three 'chicks'. Do you really think that you're going to win?"

He smiled and laughed. "Haa. Probably not."

Hi guys. Sorry it's taken me a little while to update. I started uni and my degree is really intense. Really long days. But I got asked for some more Emily/ JJ friendship so I hope that you like it. I'll update ASAP and please let me know what you think. : )

And most importantly thank you all sooooooo much for the amaaaazzzziiiinnnngggg reviews! I loooooove them. : )