11

JJ thought back to the moment that she woke up in the hospital.

She had felt as though things would never get any better. But things right now were better than they had been back then.

She just had to keep reminding herself to take it one day at a time.

As long as she made some progress every day, it didn't matter what else happened.

She had known for the past few days that she had plateaued. There had been nothing new for her to achieve and she was getting frustrated and taking It out on her friends.

As much as Derek had sympathised with her plea to stay at home that day, he had not budged. His Baby Girl had said they were all going out, so that was what they were going to do.

She had tried to throw the 'You get to make your own choices' card back at him, and although he had acknowledged it, he still made a point of picking her up and telling her they were doing it because it was in her best interests as he carried her through the threshold of the front door out to the waiting car.

Now she was sitting in the back seat, hiding behind the tinted windows, watching as the world passed by.

Apparently they were going to one of Penelope's favourite spots. A place where there wouldn't be many people but where she could get a bit of fresh air.

She looked across at Emily and saw that she was staring out the window as well.

She and her friend had barely talked the past few days.

Emily had had her stitches removed and was doing much better. And if JJ was being honest, while she was elated for Emily, she couldn't help but feel the pang of jealousy as Emily continued to gain more independence in leaps and bounds. Her back was healing nicely, the bruises were fading well and the intense physiotherapy that she had started was working wonders for her hand. She was on the way to regaining full control and use of it which was a fantastic thought.

But then JJ would think back to her own situation and become angry. Almost uncontrollably so. But she refused to show the true extent of it. Instead treating her pillow to a few rounds every night, as best as she could, like she used to give Morgan when she would spar with him.

Turning off the main road they started down a gravel road surrounded by tall trees that seemed to encompass the car as they continued.

After a few minutes of driving they went through a final arch of trees before sunlight met them on the other side. Driving slightly further they were met with a pristine lake of deep blue, sitting amongst a nature-grown fence of tall trees and flax.

After they pulled into a parking lot JJ gulped nervously. This was it. She was here. She could refuse to get out of the car, but she was pretty sure that it would end up in her being hoisted over Morgan's shoulder.

Emily opened her door and began getting out, breathing in the fresh clean air while they were away from the city.

The boot was opened and JJ's outdoor wheelchair was removed and opened ready for JJ.

After Morgan carefully placed her in the chair, Penelope, ever the mother goose swaddled her legs in a blanket before they started the short walk over the gravel of the parking lot and then the grass to her favourite spot that showed the true beauty of their surroundings.

Emily took a seat on a park bench and Morgan was about to park JJ next to her when she decided that she wanted to sit next to Emily.

Morgan nodded and took JJ from the wheelchair and placed her on the seat next to Emily.

"Pen and I will be down by the water, just give us a shout when you're ready to get going."

JJ nodded, following her friends down to the edge of the water with her eyes before turning her head to face Emily.

"I'm sorry I haven't been a good friend lately."

Emily looked back at JJ with a raised brow.

"JJ… you've had a lot going on. You could never not be a good friend."

JJ was about to speak when she saw a young couple about to cross their path. Trying to ignore them she continued to watch the water ripple as she saw Morgan trying to teach Penelope how to skim stones.

Even ignoring them, she saw the looks, heard the subtle whispers and saw one of them looking back at her before they continued down the track through the woods behind them.

JJ sighed and felt the tears starting to form in her eyes.

"I feel like the ugly duckling."

Emily chuckled. "You are anything but an ugly duckling JJ. And remember how that story ends? Doesn't it become like a swan or something?"

JJ laughed at Emily. "Yeah, but there is a lot of self-doubt and confusion before that happens Em."

"Are you confused JJ? Doubting yourself?"

"I… I guess. I just want normal. But Em. I… you are a part of my normal. Talking to you. Confiding in you. And I feel like I have completely severed that. It's my fault that you are in this situation. And I can't just expect you to be okay with it… with what happened… so that I can work on getting back to my reality."

"Of course not Jayje. But if you talked to me you would know that I feel the same about what happened to you."

It was then JJ's turn to have a raised brow. "You do?"

"Of course I do JJ. But we haven't been able to talk."

"Oh… I… I think I… want to talk… Not to anyone. But… but maybe to you? I… you're probably the only one who is close to knowing what I am going through. I think… maybe…"

"You know what JJ? I think that that is a really, really good idea."

"Good. But not right now. I don't want to ruin this. I think… this is a happy time that needs to stay that way. It's a nice day, I'm with good people and I feel free. Free like I am not confined to a stupid wheelchair, and I like it."

JJ smiled at her best friend and grabbed her friend, hugging her as best as she could.

JJ whispered in her ear "I love you Emily."

She whispered back "I love you too Jayje."

Looking up from the water, Penelope and Morgan couldn't stop grinning as they saw their two friends embracing each other. Each knew that the relationship between the two women had been strained, and almost non-existent as of late. It seemed as though they were simply going through the motions. But hopefully today that would change. And along with it, maybe JJ's attitude towards recovery would as well. They were all there for her. They all loved her. Maybe talking – properly talking – with Emily again would help her face some unpleasant demons in the near future. And maybe it would help Emily too.

Morgan heard Emily calling for them, and the duo made their way back up towards them.

"JJ is cold, I think we should go."

"Jees Em. I'm f-fine. It's just a little wind."

"I agree with Em. It's better to go now than stay and risk you getting sick. That's all we need."

JJ nodded and allowed Morgan to whisk her away back to the car. She was buckled in and ready to go snuggled under a blanket before the other two girls even made it back to the car.

On the road again, they had a pit stop to make at the supermarket to get food before they got home. They needed fruit so that they could make smoothies that evening. Garcia had become inventive about the way she prepared food and how she prepared it in order to get as much nutrition into JJ as possible. It worked on the good days, not so much on the bad. But she figured a smoothie after a day like today would go down well.

JJ had reached out to hold Emily's hand just as the car journey had begun. Between the rhythmic rubbing of Emily's thumb on her hand and the hum of the car JJ was asleep almost immediately. Missing the entire ride home, as well as being carried from the car to her bedroom so that she could continue her sleep from the comfort of her own bed.

O/o

Two days later Morgan was sitting in an uninviting doctor's office beside JJ as she waited for the news from her doctor. Today was the day that she had been waiting for. Her stitches were going to be removed. The ones that she cared about anyway. The ones that hindered her ability to walk.

As the doctor greeted them and got to the task at hand, JJ held Morgan's hand and squeezed thinking of the new things that she would be able to do.

…

"Alright Ms. Jareau, I-"

"JJ. Call me JJ."

"Alright JJ. I believe that considering the damage that was sustained you are healing well. Now, I need you to understand that just because there are no longer stitches, it does not mean that you can get up and walk like normal."

Morgan watched as JJ's face fell before the doctor continued.

"By all means, when you are at physio they will start you off small with putting small amounts of pressure on your feet. But the tissue is still healing and at home I want you to remain off them as you have been up until now. As the physio deems appropriate you can start weight bearing in your time at home, as long as they feel it is safe with your knee as well. The cuts on your legs look great and there shouldn't be much problem there, apart from maybe some slight pulling, but that is normal.

"So… so you're saying pretty much nothing changes. I'm still confined to that damn wheelchair?!"

Morgan put his hand on her arm as he stood beside her, but she shrugged it off.

"Well, for now…"

Morgan could see JJ's façade beginning to crumble. No weight bearing meant little progress outside rehab.

"We have a pool at our house. Would that be okay? She could regain some strength and it wouldn't compromise healing, would it?"

The doctor thought for a moment. "I don't see any problem with that. But JJ, you'll need someone with you to help support you and keep you afloat especially if you get tired. But I think that swimming would be a good outlet for now."

"Thanks Doc." Morgan said as he smiled at him before turning to JJ.

"You see Jayje. I know it's not what you wanted to hear, but at least it's better than nothing right?"

JJ gave him a cold, penetrating glare before looking at her legs. She felt the rage boiling inside her and felt as though she was about to snap. And no one would want to be in her way when she did.

Hello. I am so sorry about my long absence. I had a couple of surgeries because of my appendix and then complications and then had a lot of uni work to catch up on. Any who let me know what you think if people are still reading and for the reviewer that wanted a JJ and Hotch comfort scene, that is coming next chapter. And more Emily and JJ talking later on too. And thank you very much for the reviews, follows and favourites. I so appreciate it.