Sixteen:
Cedric saw very little of Harry the first half of the break, which was no surprise, the castle was so frigidly cold that it was unlikely that any number of the remaining students were willing to venture out of their dorms for more than a few minutes at a time. Despite this, he still found himself enjoying his time with Jona, lazing about the Hufflepuff commons, playing board games and talking over mugs of hot chocolate.
It was one morning two days before Christmas that they decided to brave the freezing halls of Hogwarts in search of entertainment. They were hopping down the transfiguration corridor like a pair of idiots, wrapped up in Hufflepuff themed throw blankets and practically glowing with the amount of warming charms they'd cast on themselves.
So, of course this would be the first time they encountered another person for practically the entire break.
And of course it was Snape.
"Pr- Professor!" stuttered Jona, nearly tripping over his blanket in his haste to back away from the perpetually black-clad man.
His fear was unfounded as Snape sent them no more than a fleeting, disdainful sneer before brushing past them quite rudely.
However after continuing on their journey, (this time walking, not hopping) Cedric was possessed with the sudden urge to look back over his shoulder, only to find the Potions Professor stock-still blatantly staring after him with unreadable, black eyes. Suppressing a shudder, Cedric did his best to put it out of his mind. He had more important things to worry about.
On Christmas Eve Cedric had carefully folded the gift certificate into a navy-colored envelope, knowing Harry favored dark, muted colors and blues. He'd pondered sending it by owl, but decided against it, fearful Harry might misinterpret it as a Christmas present. Not that he would be opposed to sending Harry a Christmas present if it weren't for how... strange it would seem.
Cedric was supposed to barely know him after all.
The next morning he sent his rather unremarkable barn owl, Blathers, off to his parents with their gifts in tow. He scoffed at their pettiness when he received nothing in return, though his grandmother did send him the same present she sent every year, a personalized set of stationary and quills.
In his excitement to see Harry he had woken up at the ungodly hour of four in the morning, unable to return to sleep, so he spent the next five hours milling restlessly about the common room until it was finally an acceptable time to wake Jona up.
Jona had been rather displeased at being awoken and Cedric had no doubt that he would've slept the entire day away if he'd been left to his own devices. But, Cedric eventually managed to rouse him into an at least semi-lucid state at which point they exchanged gifts. Cedric received a broom servicing kit, and Jona the collected works of [some sort of 50 shades-esq novelist].
After that they sat in silence. Cedric suspected that Jona was feeling some of the anticipation that he was for the upcoming event.
At around ten until ten they stood from their cushy seats in the common room and made their way up to the Great Hall, the envelope in his pocket feeling heavier than any slip of paper should. When they arrived, only a few of the Professors had taken their seats. They stood just inside the doors and slightly off to the right, their eyes trained upon the entrance as they waited for Harry to arrive.
The doors opened and Cedric could compare the moment to a breath of fresh air after ages of suffocation. Harry was like water, like blood a necessity, life itself. He could feel the room tilt just slightly as he walked past, so close that Cedric could smell him.
Cedric was so consumed in taking in the soft curls of Harry's inky black hair and how the bite of the cold corridors had tinted his porcelain cheeks pink that he didn't even notice Jona shepherding him into a seat directly across from the object of his attentions until his bottom finally met with the hard, wooden bench.
He looked down and then up again, finding himself sitting between Jona and Snape of all people. Harry was situated across from him with some faceless Weasley boy adjacent to him. He blinked, opening and then closing his mouth. Harry wasn't even looking at him, though, wrapped up in whatever mindless drivel Weasley was spewing. So, instead of speaking or doing anything really, Cedric just sort of sat there staring resolutely at the table, listening with rapt attention to the soft, sweet tones of Harry's voice.
After awhile he heard a 'clack' coming from directly below his chin and looked down to see his previously empty plate full of food, Jona's hand clasped to the edge of said-plate.
He glanced over towards Jona, only to find brown eyes staring back, and unreadable expression plastered to his face.
"Aren't you going to eat?" Jona's voice came out clear, stilted and strange.
Looking around the rest of the table, Cedric realized everyone else had begun eating, some of their plates already half-empty.
He nodded slowly, noticing after a few moments that he had yet to answer his friend's question. He scooped up a spoonful of mashed potatoes, lifting it to his open mouth, but before it could breach his lips he heard Harry laughing at something Weasley said and all other thought went out the window, his eyes tracing up to stare, entranced at Harry's flushed, joyful, visage.
"Cedric." came sharply from his left. His spoon fell from his hand, spilling potatoes across his plate. His still-empty mouth finally snapped closed.
Jona smiled tightly up at him, eyes attempting to communicate something that Cedric simply was not lucid enough to comprehend. Jona seemed to be able to tell this and sagged in his seat, sighing, before composing himself tight smile returned and he cocked his head to the side.
"Christmas cracker?" he offered, extending the roll of shining, festive paper towards him. Cedric blinked, but raised a hand, pulling on one end as Jona pulled on the other. He was far more startled by the 'Pop' than he should have been, but it seemed to have some sort of sobering effect over him.
He finally realized that he's been sitting there, still as a board, listening Harry's voice for upwards of 40 minutes. He focused back on Jona, who was watching him with a knowing frown.
"Any preferences?" said the boy with a raise of his eyebrow. In his left hand was a candy cane striped, rope-like scarf in the other was a little, golden crown. Cedric reached for the scarf, smiling crookedly as Jona settled the crown upon his head.
"Well-suited, wouldn't you say?" grinned Jona, his voice sounding eerily similar to Draco Malfoy's haughty drawl.
That startled a laugh out of the Weasley boy from across the table, but when the two Hufflepuffs turned to look at him, the boy had already schooled his expression he tended to favor.
"Ron." Harry chided gently, drawing Cedric's gaze back to him, like a moth to a flame. His blood boiled when all the Weasley boy (Ron, apparently) did was roll his eyes and launch into some other inane topic. Harry deserved better
When their conversation finally reached a lull (or rather, when Weasley became too preoccupied with stuffing his face with pudding to speak) Cedric decided that it was then or never and reached into the pocket of his robes, pulling out the envelope.
"H- um... Potter?" he wanted to choke himself. He sounded like a fucking mouse.
He did his best not to lose himself when Harry, who had been enjoying his slice of treacle tart, traced his bright green eyes up to meet him, blinking so innocently, mouth pursed curiously, Cedric just wanted to-
"I wanted to apologize to you... in person. Cause, I mean, I know I told Wood to, but er..." He shook his head. He was so bloody pathetic.
Heaving a sigh, he extended a hand across the table, holding out the envelope. As Harry's small, pale hand reached out, Cedric could feel his heart beat against his chest, lungs shuttering as his breaths came out uneasily. He willed with every fiber of his being for their fingers to touch. He internally prayed to whatever deity was listening to know what it would feel like to be touched by Harry.
But, one large, freckled hand snapped out, as quick as a rodent, snatching the envelope straight from Cedric's off-guard fingers before Harry could even reach it.
Cedric was on his feet before he could process it, staring down at the red-head who was glaring defiantly back at him.
"As if!" snapped the boy, baring his teeth, also climbing to his feet. "You think I'm gonna sit by and watch you place some hex on my best mate? I know who you are, you bloody git!"
Harry was back to chiding him, laying a hand on the arm of the boy's hideous, maroon sweater. How was it fair? How was any of it fair? That some stupid, poor, waste-of-space, Weasley was allowed to feel Harry's hands on him with nary a care, but Cedric couldn't even- couldn't even- after all he's done-
"Ron, what're you on about now? Why're you being so rude to him?"
The redhead had the audacity to act exasperated, sighing dramatically as he slung a long arm over Harry's shoulder.
Cedric wanted to scream.
"Merlin, Harry. What's it like then? Swimming around in that oblivious little bubble of your's, eh? That's the Hufflepuff cheat. Y'know the one."
Harry just shook his head. "No, I don't know I swear it's like you talk in tongues sometimes, Ron."
He turned to address Cedric, expression apologetic. "I'm sorry, I really do have the poorest memory. Who are you?"
Cedric froze, blood pumping deafeningly in his ears. He wrenched his gaze away from Harry's beautiful, lovely, perfect face and looked down at the envelope where Weasley had discarded it on the floor.
'The Hufflepuff cheat?' He couldn't help but think. 'Is that what they're calling me?'
"Who are you?"
He felt a hand just under his elbow and looked up to see Jona staring worriedly up at him.
He realized in a jarring suddenness that he'd been holding his breath and gasped, filling his lungs, that had been screaming for air.
"Are- are you alright?" Harry was speaking to him so sweetly, concerned gaze glittering behind his glasses.
"I-" Cedric heard himself stuttering. "I'm not a- a chea-" his voice caught in his throat. He was still standing. He stumbled backwards over the bench and lifted a hand to his mouth.
Everyone was staring at him. The whole table. Everyone. Harry.
"I look like a-" he swallowed, and felt something roiling restlessly in his stomach. "I'm sorry. I gotta go. Don' feel so well."
He was out of the room within the next breath.
As soon as he was out of the Great Hall, he ran, frantically, aimlessly. He ran until he felt like he couldn't anymore, knees aching from the shock of the unforgiving flagstone against his feet.
His head spun, he couldn't think straight, all he could hear was Harry's voice asking that same damned question over and over, making his ears ring and his head pound.
A door materialized on the wall out of thin air and he found himself slipping in.
-0v0-
In the blink of an eye he was awake again. He grimaced as he felt his own drool sliding down the cheek he'd been sleeping on, wiping it on his rumpled sleeve. As he sat up, he felt the surface he was laying on shift underneath him. He realized as he blinked groggily, that he was laying upon a pile of soft, garishly-colored pillows a few were atop him, as if he were emerging from a plush, fabric ant-mound.
Taking in the room he found that he had no clue where the Hell he was. Based on the light filtering through the frosted windows it looked to still be daytime, however. As he wriggled his way out of his prison of pillows, his foot finally met the floor, a cloud of feathers sprung up from around his feet, floating slowly back down to the ground.
He noticed that many of the pillows had been ripped, some hardly even resembling anything more then tatters. He wondered why anyone would do such a thing. Shrugging, he made his was towards the door, ignoring the downy feathers underfoot.
Upon reaching the hallway he immediately recognized that he was in the 5th floor corridor and with a sigh, he made his way back to his common room. Moving as fast as he could without outright sprinting as he attempted to escape the frigidly cold corridors.
Upon arriving to his destination he found Jona curled up on one of the couches, a pot of tea and a plate full of what looked like cake crumbs sitting on the coffee table in front of him. A book sat in his lap, but it was closed.
As Cedric rounded the couch, he saw that the boy was fast asleep. However, his shadow casted over Jona and the shorter boy slowly blinked awake. As his eyes opened Cedric could make out the dark circles underneath them.
Jona groaned.
"Long night?" Questioned Cedric, faintly amused. He flinched back when he received a rather stormy glare.
"Are you a fucking idiot?" was Jona's growled reply. Cedric blinked rapidly, opening his mouth to respond in affront, only to be hastily cut off.
"After that scene you just fucking disappear for a whole day and a half and then just come back like everything is all hunky dory?" He stood, pushing Cedric back, nearly causing him to trip over the coffee table.
"Do you know what I thought? When no one, not even the headmaster could find you for a whole fucking day?"
Cedric said nothing, presuming the question was rhetorical. It wasn't.
"I SAID, DO YOU KNOW WHAT I THOUGHT, CEDRIC?"
"N- no."
Jona chuckled, shaking his head, expression sour and mirthless. "I had thought you jumped into the Black Lake and drowned yourself, you stupid fucking git."
Cedric blinked, cocking his head, confusion overriding his sense, he was surely missing something.
"Why... I don't understand. Why would I do something like that?"
Jona froze at this, eyes firmly affixed to Cedric's lost expression. He advanced slowly, as if approaching a wounded animal.
"Cedric, where were you?"
"Er... I..." Cedric didn't really know. "Some room? Round the fifth floor, with a bunch of pillows and feathers. I'd been asleep there. I didn't realize I'd been gone for so long, though."
Jona grabbed him and Cedric allowed his friend to lead him over to the couch, getting the feeling that they were in for an important discussion by the look on Jona's face.
"What do you remember of Christmas breakfast?"
Cedric chuckled. "Jona, Yule's not for another two days, unless you're referring to last year."
Jona's face remained blank, even as Cedric waited for the boy to burst into laughter and apologize for his half-assed prank.
He didn't and instead heaved a long sigh, casting a glance out the window, it was late afternoon.
"You sat between Snape and I."
Cedric out right laughed at this. "Oh, pull the other one! Now I know you're having me on. As if Snape would be willing to spend Yule with other sentient beings!"
Jona rolled his eyes, his face still eerily expressionless, jaw tightening minutely. "I had to make a plate for you." he continued as if Cedric had never spoke. "Not that it mattered, you didn't eat one bit of it." his words came out bitter and resentful, almost hurt.
"We sat across from Potter and the youngest Weasley boy."
Cedric could hear something. Faint and ringing, like when the wireless went on the fritz. Someone was saying something in the back of his mind, but he couldn't quite make it out through all the static.
"You're wrong." he heard himself saying. There was the sound of fabric ripping from somewhere. When he looked up, however, he could find nothing that could have been the cause for such a noise.
Something was tickling his nose. He sneezed.
Jona reached out, fingertips brushing against Cedric's wrinkled shirt. He felt a tug at something round his neck, but refused to look down. Jona's gaze seemingly holding him hostage.
"What's this then?" Jona held up a thick, candy cane striped scarf and Cedric's vision blurred.
"That's the Hufflepuff cheat! Y'know the one!"
"Sorry, who're you?"
He could feel the bunched of feathers in his fists, watching the way the caught the midday light through the frosted glass.
His throat was burning, he realized. As if he'd been screaming not long ago.
Jona stared at him unforgivingly, his mouth a thin, grim line. "I thought you'd hurt yourself... I'd thought the worst."
They sat in a long, cold silence, despite the fire crackling merrily only a few feet away from them.
"He wanted you to know he forgives you." Jona spat after a very long time. "Said he'd never blamed you to begin with."
Snowdrifts began to fall outside, beating gently against the window pane, melting as they met with the warmed glass.
"He didn't even know who I was." Cedric's voice was weak, defeated and pained. "And now he does." he said after a pause. "And now I'm the Hufflepuff cheat to him. The git who tried to give him a hexed letter. The creep who can't even speak to him without stuttering."
Jona didn't bother to pay his lament any attention.
"Why Potter, anyway? You've never been the type to care about fame or popularity. You've never been the type to care about anything, so why Potter?"
Cedric couldn't understand it. The answer seemed so obvious, so simple. Thoughts of Harry came more easily than breathing. Harry was a part of him at this point. Cedric often found himself asking why he was the only one who seemed to feel this way.
"Don't you?" he didn't exactly know what he wanted Jona's answer to be.
"Don't I what?"
"Don't you wan't Potter to notice you? ...Doesn't everyone?"
"No. I don't." Cedric believed him, but just couldn't understand. "And while think there are plenty of people who do, I don't think they are they majority and I don't think any of them want it quite as much as you do."
Cedric agreed. No one wanted Harry as much as he did. He felt proud. He felt disgusted.
"And what would happen after?" Jona had laid down at this point, settling his head against one of the armrests, eyes affixed to the fire.
"After what?"
"After he 'notices' you in the way you've been wanting him to. What do you want from him beyond that?"
Cedric didn't know. Now that Jona had pointed it out would Cedric really be okay with just leaving it after all the time and effort he'd put into his... 'pining'? He didn't know what he wanted but...
He could still remember Harry's scent. So sweet, clean, fresh and cloying. Cedric would envision those sooty lashes, fluttering against warm cheeks, could see his soft lips open and inviting. He wondered what Harry's breath would feel like against his face. What it would smell like, taste like.
He could feel saliva collecting underneath his tongue. He swallowed.
"I don't know what I want."
Jona glared at him skeptically and stood, yanking at Cedric's scarf, eyes unapologetic when Cedric gagged as it tightened around his throat..
"Come on. You're going to apologize to everyone who wasted their time looking for your sorry arse."
A/N: Hello again. This is now on AO3 as well if any of you would find that site preferable.