As with most days before the full moon, it passed in a blur. Sights, sounds, smells, everything seemed exaggerated to him, and it felt like it required extra energy, energy Remus didn't have, to process it all. He forced himself to go through the motions of normalcy while his body protested against it the entire time. This left him feeling drained and irritable, on top of everything else. Even trying to eat with his friends was a chore as the noise and smells of the Great Hall bombarded his senses. He was grateful when he could finally slip away to the hospital wing before dinner.

Madam Pomfrey had cared for Remus during his transformations at Hogwarts since he was a first year. Although no one but a werewolf could ever fully understand what it was like for him, Madam Pomfrey knew Remus's symptoms and ailments and counteracted them the best she could. She made sure he had a quiet section of the hospital wing to himself and gave him some bland broth for his supper. Then, just before night fall, she walked with Remus to the Shrieking Shack via a passage under the Whomping Willow.

And that was it. After a day full of humanity and all that came with it, Remus was left alone. It was these moments that Remus dreaded every month. The anticipation of the transformation and the pain he would soon endure hung over him. His fears and worries only seemed to amplify in the quiet of the Shrieking Shack. What if he broke out? What if someone saw him? Or worse still, what if he managed to harm someone?

Then, in a heartbeat, the thoughts were replaced by agony as the moon rose. There wasn't a single part of Remus that was spared from the pain. Every nerve was on fire as his body twisted and shifted, contorting to its new shape. Bones grinded together as they elongated, muscles stretched to their maximum, fangs ripped through gums and claws through skin. And always at the peak, just when he thought he couldn't take anymore pain, Remus slipped away, and the wolf took over. In the morning, Remus would feel guilty for welcoming the release of the wolf, but right now, all he wanted was to be free of the torment. In what somehow managed to both feel like an eternity and a second, Remus Lupin vanished and the wolf appeared.

The next day...

Remus vaguely remembered Madam Pomfrey helping him back to the hospital wing in the morning. He remembered nothing of that night. The things the wolf had done would slowly come to him in flashes as time passed. But for now, Remus could remain blissfully ignorant of its actions. Well, almost blissfully, his whole body ached. He drifted in and out of sleep as Madam Pomfrey tended to his wounds. She spoke to him softly as she worked, but Remus was too tired to make sense of anything she said. She put a potion to his lips, and he drank it without question. It burned going down; a night of growling and howling was extremely rough on the throat. But Remus didn't get a chance to dwell on that for long, as he was pulled into a deep sleep.

Sometime later...

Remus was slowly dragged back to consciousness by the voices surrounding him. He tried to open his eyes and see who was talking, but he was too exhausted. Gradually, his mind began to process words.

"Mr. Black, would you please leave at once! Mr. Lupin needs his rest." Madam Pomfrey demanded in her sternest voice, fighting to keep herself from screaming.

"I'm not going anywhere until I find out what, in the name of Merlin, happened to him!" Sirius shouted back.

Remus lay in bed, trying to force his eyes to open but still finding himself too weak. The effort caused him to descend back into his dreamless sleep.

It wasn't until the next day that Remus finally woke up. He spent a nervous day in the hospital wing waiting for the doors to burst open and for his friends to come in and ask questions. But they never came. Remus honestly wasn't sure if he was relieved or hurt. If they didn't come, he wouldn't have to lie to them. But if they hadn't come to check on him, had they guessed his secret? Did they hate him? Would he leave the Hospital Wing just to find out he was expelled from Hogwarts? Remus's eyes quickly searched for his wand, and he relaxed slightly when he saw it resting on top of the side table next to the bed. It was intact and safe. What would he do if he was expelled? His father would be so disappointed in him, and Professor Dumbledore... for some reason, the thought of failing him upset Remus even more.

Thanks to Madam Pomfrey's hard work, Remus was released from the Hospital Wing the next day. He nervously made his way to Gryffindor Tower, uncertain of what to expect. Maybe Sirius wasn't actually in the hospital wing after all. Maybe he had just dreamt it. Those hopes dissolved when he entered the Gryffindor Common Room and saw his friends sitting around the fireplace.

"Bloody hell, what happened to you?" Peter commented as he looked up from his game of Exploding Snap.

James stood up and walked over to Remus. "Sirius wasn't joking; you look horrid."

Remus tried not to avoid eye contact, but he couldn't help shying away from the look James was giving him. Remus knew how pale he looked and that he was covered in gashes. "Why thank you, James. There is nothing like having close friends," Remus said casually while forcing a small smile. "I was helping out in Herbology and fell into a bed of fanged geraniums."

Sirius had just wandered down the stairs from their dorm and overheard this: "You are telling me that some plants did all this to you?"

Remus nodded. Although he was a good liar by this point in his life, he also knew that if he said anything more, they would be able to see right through him. Instead of heading up to bed and resting like he wanted to, Remus sat down on the couch and watched his friends play, hoping to avoid further suspicion. As much as he hated lying to them, he knew that their finding out would be much worse.

Sirius sat across from Remus and, after a few moments, looked up from their game and blurted out, "Is someone beating you up, Remus?"

Remus looked at Sirius, surprised by the question, "Beating me up—no, why?"

"Why? Look at you, Remus; you're a walking bruise covered in scratches!" Sirius retorted.

"I already told you I fell into the fanged geraniums." Remus got up, suppressing a groan from the stiffness he felt. "Anyway, I think I better go study for class. I lost some study time in the hospital wing."

"Remus there is something you're not telling us. We can help you mate." Sirius said trying to press him to tell the truth.

"You can help me in the green houses next time then." He replied dismissively as he climbed the stairs to the dorm. But even at the top of the stairs he couldn't help but overhear his friends.

"Sirius, you have that look in your eye. That is the look that usually means we are going to do something we shouldn't be." James said sounding amused.

Sirius snorted at that. "That is just my devilish charm coming out. Anyway, did you ever notice that Remus always has some odd excuse for looking ill or not being around? I mean, it happens just about every month."

Remus's stomach churned, and his thoughts ran wild. 'They are going to figure it out. They are going to hate me. I will lose the only friends I've ever had. I'm going to be kicked out of Hogwarts.' Against his best efforts, his eyes brimmed with tears, and his thoughts continued, 'Look at you crying like a baby. Did you really think that someone like you could live a normal life, Remus?' He hurried up the stairs and into bed, where he quickly pulled the curtains shut to block out everything around him. Unfortunately, Remus wasn't able to stop his thoughts, but eventually, the transformation took its toll on him, and he drifted off into an uneasy sleep.