Happy Sunday everyone!

Here's a little update for you...

Thanks again for taking the time to read and for your reviews!

Happy reading!

Xoxo,

Nina

She had asked him to be the party guy, the truth was that the party guy in him no longer existed. Sure he liked to go out with his friends, but he was truly in love with the life he had built and he wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

Adam didn't understand what had happened. He talked to Kev, he talked to Sylvie. Kevin supported him like always and the last one told him a bit of what had gone on between her friend and Tess.

To say that he was angry was an understatement. Not only was he mad at Saunders because she had no business in barging into his life like that, but he was also mad at Kim.

He had been nothing but patient and understanding with her and as much as he tried being understanding right now, he was having a very hard time doing so. Feeling like she didn't trust him or wasn't sure about his feelings for her and their relationship hurt deeply and he was running out of ideas to prove to her that he meant absolutely everything he said and did.

The past week and a half had sucked. All he did was work, work out, see his family and occasionally go out for a drink.

Kim had not reached out and as much as Sylvie told him that the brunette probably didn't want to come across like a crazy inconsistent person, not knowing anything from her was a true pain in the ass.

He had thought about calling her about a million times. He had even typed down messages that never got sent. He just didn't know what to do anymore.

"Talked to Kim last night."

Anne's voice made him come back to Earth, lately it was like Adam was disconnected. He was there but he really wasn't.

The Ruzek brothers had gotten into the habit of hanging out regularly, even if Gracie wasn't around. And even though Adam had been very private about the whole situation with Kim, both Anne and Kit knew something was wrong and they wanted to have his back, just like he had done for them.

"That makes one of us." He responded with a pinch of bitterness.

"Are you ever gonna tell us what the hell is going on between you two?" His sister in law went straight to the point. She was tired of tiptoeing around the situation.

"She didn't say anything?"

"Well, no. Why do you think I'm asking you?"

"Anne, be easy on the kid." Kit stepped in, walking into the kitchen with a bottle or bourbon. Something told him that's exactly what his little brother needed.

"Funny she didn't say anything, considering she was the one who said we needed to take a break." Adam said, half ignoring his brother's comment, but standing up to reach for three glasses and some ice.

"Honey, you're not making this any clearer." The woman insisted and Kit just waited expectantly for an answer, as his brother let out a frustrated sigh.

"I don't know what happened." He poured the brown liquid in the glasses and handed them out, getting a sip of his drink as if that would give him the courage he needed to go through the whole thing once again in his mind. "I guess a bunch of comments from random people about how I was, by nature, a crazy party guy and that I will eventually grow tired of our life together and would look for another type of woman, whatever the fuck that means." He took another pull of his beverage. "And then, this kiss during an undercover op."

"You kissed another woman? And you're wondering why Kim asked you for a break. You're lucky she didn't slice your balls off. Did you hear that last part, Kit?" She asked her husband, pointing a very judgemental index finger. The older Ruzek said nothing. His wife's reaction was a bit amusing.

"I didn't kiss her. She kissed me."

"How did she find out?"

"Saunders told her." Kit and Anne looked at him confused about who this Sounders person was. "Tess Sounders, she's one of the officers covering for Jay and Hailey. She's the one who kissed me, she ran into Kim in the bathroom at Molly's and told her. Apparently she also told her that she liked me and that she was going to make a move on me."

"Really, Adam?" Anne sounded disappointed. How could he be so clueless?

"You guys, it meant absolutely nothing. It wasn't even me I was fucking undercover, and Kim knows that." He sounded desperate.

"So what?" Now it was Anne who took a big sip from her glass. "Honestly, I can't believe I need to explain this to you. You, out of all people know all the insecurities she has been navigating through, because you have helped her overcome them, and you expect not getting any sort of reaction from her after everything she heard?"

"We've talked about those things, we were slowly getting past that."

"I'm still not past being in witness protection, and even though being away from my daughter was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, it is nothing compared to all the trauma Kim has been through."

That comment hurt. If Anne had slapped him in the face it would have probably felt better.

"What else did she tell you?"

"She's afraid that this isn't truly the life I want." He answered softly, as if he was embarrassed.

"Is it?" Both Kit and Anne asked simultaneously.

"Yes."

"Then stop hiding behind your guilt and past wounds and talk to her." Kit's words were much more firm than Anne's and Adam understood perfectly what he was talking about.

He stayed at their house a few more hours. They FaceTimed Gracie, who was thrilled to see her favorite uncle and she told them all about summer camp and how much fun she was having.

Once in his place, trying to fall asleep was a pretty difficult task. The conversation he had with Anne played in a loop in his mind. She had a point and he couldn't believe he'd missed it.

Without giving it much thought he grabbed his phone. It was late, but he knew she left her phone on silent mode so if she was already sleeping he wouldn't bother her.

"Hey." He started to record his voice. "Um, I'm sorry about the time. I know we're on a break and everything and I don't know if I'm breaking any ground rules by messaging you, but I kind of got tired of holding up my pride, because the truth is I'm thinking about you all the time so… Anyway, I hope you're doing great and Gracie says hi."

He sent the voice note and stared into the screen. No answer whatsoever. He shook his head and immediately started recording again.

"I love you."

For some reason reaching out made him lighter. He still didn't know if he was making the right move, but it sure made him feel better.

Kim woke up before her alarm clock. It didn't surprise her at all since that's exactly what had been happening ever since she last talked to Adam.

She missed him like crazy, but felt like reaching out would be contradictory. That and the fact that she didn't know whether he hated her or if it was only her hating herself.

She went to the bathroom to take a shower and start the day with better energy. She had a big test today and she wanted to at least try to focus on that for a change, but her concentration went to hell when she grabbed her phone after getting dressed.

All of a sudden she was feeling anxious, excited and even scared. The brunette was desperate to open his chat, but afraid he would be telling her something she wasn't ready to hear.

"Come on Kimberly, grow a pair." She encouraged herself and took a deep breath as she touched his name on the screen. Seeing two short voice notes called her attention a bit. Adam was more of a texter, but without putting too much thought into it, because she knew that she would end up spiraling if she did, she just hit play

The message said nothing, but so much at the same time. When she heard the last one a huge smile plastered her face and she proceeded to hug her phone to her chest after playing the audio one more time.

God she missed him so much, she missed the sound of his voice and she missed him telling her he loved her and now the guilt was taking over her. What if she had been too hard on him?

Kim only had a few minutes before having to leave her room to catch breakfast and get to her workshop on time and she refused to leave him on read, so she just went for it.

"Adam, hi. I um, I was asleep last night and I just heard this right now. Gosh, I have no idea what the ground rules are, or if there are any." She made a brief pause as she bit her lower lip in all nervousness. "All I can say is that I'm really happy to hear from you. I wanted to write to you too but I wasn't sure if you wanted me to reach you or not." She sighed into the microphone in her phone. "Anyhow, I'm doing ok I guess. How are you doing?"

She sent that and was quick to add something more.

"Listen, I gotta run, I have a pretty big test today and you're probably on your way to the district. Is there a chance maybe we can talk later? Please say hi to Gracie if you talk to her again. I miss her. And you." She shut her eyes and let her heart do the talking. "I love you, too."

Adam was in fact on his way to the district when he saw the notifications pop on the screen and he didn't hesitate to play the voice notes while he was driving his truck. Hearing her voice made his spine tingle and smile unconsciously. He didn't want to wait to answer her.

"Good morning. Glad to hear you're doing good. Sure, we can talk later. Good luck on that test. You're gonna ace it."

He instantly got his answer.

"Thanks." He could tell that she was smiling by the tone of her voice. "Talk to you later. Be safe, ok?"

"Always am."

He replied much more happily than the previous days, before unhooking his phone from the dashboard of his truck and putting it away in his pocket.

Something told him that today was going to be a good day.

The bullpen had been quiet and so had his phone, but as soon as he stepped into his apartment he was ready to change that.

Voight asked them to get ahead with their paperwork and told Atwater and Ruzek that they could leave once they were done, since he had a few things he wanted to sort out with Saunders and Torres considering that Jay and Hailey were about to come back. Adam practically was crossing down the days on his calendar; he didn't want to see Tess anymore and the possibility of her sticking around had him in an extremely lousy mood.

He got a beer from the fridge and shot a quick text.

How'd you do on the test?

A few minutes later he got a response. A picture of a 98/100 in red marker and a caption that read thanks for asking.

You little nerd. Told you you'd ace it. I'm proud of you.

He wanted to show her his support, but still wasn't sure where exactly they were standing and the same thing happened to her. That explains why her answer came across as cold, when in reality she was just trying to be politically correct.

Thank you again. How was your day?

It was fine. Not a lot of movement in the bullpen which today I enjoyed. Any plans for tonight?

Apparently small talk was the name of the game, and both of them were wondering for how long they could keep ignoring the elephant in the room.

Nothing. Warm shower and a good night's sleep. These last days are getting pretty exhausting. You?

It took him forever to get back at her and she was starting to get nervous. She read the message again like ten times in an attempt to figure out if she had said something wrong, when she knew for a fact that that wasn't the case.

What if he had plans? What if he was enjoying their break, being the party boy she encouraged him to be?

She felt how her stomach was twisting into a knot, but could she really blame him for that?

Leaving her phone on the bed, she stood up and went to get a glass of water. Her eyes closed and some steady breathing helped her to come back to her center.

"It's ok Kim. Better to know the reality now and not after you're moved in together. Right? Besides, there are a million reasons as to why he hasn't answered. Chill woman."

She liked to reason with herself when she was alone. After the accident it had helped her a lot to manage her anxiety, and it was having the exact same effect right now.

After finishing her water and taking another deep breath she went back to her phone.

There was an answer.

Kim, sorry for the delay. There was a change of plans and apparently I'm going out for dinner.

Do you mind if we continue this conversation another time?

Not the answer she wanted to read, though.

What did she want to read? That he was alone in his place on a warm summer night in the city of Chicago? After everything that happened the last time they spoke personally, did she really expecte him to be doing that?

Yeah, sure. Have fun.

Honestly, she didn't know how much fun she wanted him to have.