Ch 29: Acceptance

Being in her final year, there wasn't really anyone to move into the room. Some days Dove found that so unbearable, sitting in her bed staring at the barren side of the room and reflecting on memories of old conversations or moments of the faunus lounging about, or on her lowest days, being there on that bed in that faunus's embrace. On those days, she could do nothing at night except sit there and cling to her pillow and bury her face in it to muffle her agony.

She'd rub her neck in that place where that last bite would have left a mark had she not healed it with her aura to keep it from being seen by her mother. Had she known this would happen she would have kept it, the only physical thing that would've remained.

It had only been a month but those were the days that she was reminded the most how alone she was now, how fake and superficial every connection around her truly was. Sometimes she would stare at her scroll on those hardest nights, at her mother's contact and just sob because she couldn't even call her either. No one had known about any of it, how could she go to anyone about this heartache when it had been hidden all this time? Even if she had any friends to actually talk to, she'd have nothing she could say. Between secrets and promises, she could tell not a soul.

Other days, Dove just felt numb, back to the days where nothing really brought any real joy and everything made her feel like she was just coasting through a forged dull existence again. She sat through meaningless girl talk and silly witless chatter, smiled through obnoxious doutting teachers and humored the flocks that were now no longer being kept at bay by the terror struck into them by the dark creature she actually loved.

And on rare days, few and far between, she felt moderately the most herself she could, if there was such a thing outside the privacy of her solitude. But no matter what the day, loneliness stalked her everywhere again only this time, she knew it was there. At least before knowing Wendie, she had never noticed the feeling to even really care outside of where it applied to her lack of paternal figure.

All of this had caused her to become ten times more horrible to Jin anytime they crossed paths, the easy way to once again redirect her pain onto the one she had grown to associate the discomforting feeling with. Today, she was having a numb day, sitting among girls rattling about nothing she gave any care about and girls trying to flatter her, forcing slight intrigue to keep appearances and avoid any suspicions.

When Jin entered with Sterling and his little girly faunus friend to sit at a very specific table across the way for lunch, it was like every bit of her calm was snapped violently in half in her mind. The trio sat where Wendie had always sat. They were the only ones who dared even sit there, not really even aware it was the place the Faunus called her spot after all. Most students still avoided it as if it was bad luck or like they might be in danger should she return.

Dove stood quickly, eyes seething with rage as she stalked over, body rigid. A few of her groupies saw her trajectory and smirked, following quickly like a pack of animals as Dove came up on the younger first years who were just trying to get through their lunch period like anyone else.

Jin was doing weird faces with her fries and while Sterling was unamused and frowning at her, Dakota was rolling with laughter. The entertainment was ruined as Dove's hands rested on the table, her form looming over to them, "So you're not only grotesque but stupid too."

Jin turned a bit pink and frowned, flipping the fries into her trap and not even bothering to finish chewing as Dakota stopped laughing and Jin shot back, mouth gross with half eaten food, "Shut up Dove! Without that giant around I can totally deal with you!"

That was probably the worst thing Jin could say right now. Dove's nails scratched the wood of the table and her teeth grinded as they slid a bit back and forth against themselves, eyes narrowing, "As if an untrained animal like you could stand a chance. The way you are behaving they should be feeding you your lunch from a bowl on the ground, lizard."

The corner of her mouth curled up in a particle smirk as Jin quickly swallowed, the group behind Dove snickering and laughing at Jin's expense, a gaggle of whispers mixed in. There it went, Dove was making Jin feel small again. She still wasn't sure how Dove managed to do that to her so effortlessly but she hated it.

Before she could say much in her defense, Dove's smirk grew, Jin only shrinking, "What's the matter, fire breath, did a little birdie get your tongue? Or are you going to cry now? I'd say do what you always do, but I don't see your mommy here right now, do you?"

Jin sunk in her spot, staring away and hanging her head slightly as she rubbed her arm. Dakota was watching her. None of that seemed very kind to the pup. He tilted his head curiously at Dove. He knew of her even if only in short glances seeing her with Sterling at the end of camp last year and knew about her a bit when her name came up occasionally from his friend but other than that the older teen was a mystery to him.

Still, this all seemed a bit much to just happen out of the blue. Of course, Dakota was a bit naive to bullying, even when it was very cruelly applied to the pretty boy. The blue heeler faunus was too full of loving energy to really think of anyone poorly so he often excused most things and found positive ways to look at misfortunes. Sterling was his only actual friend that wasn't a girl but that didn't really bother Dakota, even if Sterling was constantly trying to get the boy to stop letting people walk all over him.

To Sterling, he just could not understand Dakota's logic and view of the world, having only grown into much more of a bitter introvert the older he got because of Ruby, but still Dakota was enjoyable company so he just did his best to try to keep him out of danger and often fussed the pup for being too forgiving, trying desperately to teach him how to stand up for himself or at the very least not be so damn gullible all the time.

In the small moment that Jin didn't respond and the other girls had begun to mock her, Dakota gave a questioning look to them all that caught Dove's attention. She wasn't really in the mood for pleasantries but he wasn't really her target, voice calm, "Something you want to say?"

He set his elbows on the table and leaned daintily into his entwined hands, watching her with a gentle face, ears flicking, his voice sweet and feminine, "I'm just wondering what we did that bothered you? We were just trying to enjoy our break like all the students are before evening classes. If we offended you, simply let us apologize so everyone can enjoy the rest of their day. Wouldn't that be so much better for everyone?"

There was no challenge in his voice nor indication he was pointing any fingers. He truly sounded like he believed what he was saying. Dove raised a brow, very surprised he couldn't tell what was happening here, and her eyes slid over to Sterling in time to see his palm fly into his face with a groan, "Seriously? Is he for real?"

In unison, Jin and Sterling spoke in the most defeated sounding weak response, "He is…"

Dakota was still giving a kind smile, the kind of smile that one gave so genuinely you often closed your eyes too, tail swaying happily behind him as an ear tip flopped over a bit with gravity as his head tilted slightly. Jin and Sterling groaned and snuck down, a bit embarrassed at the pure naive soul they called their friend in front of these bullies.

But the sight was so adorable the girls all crumbled at it, squealing as if Dakota were a legit puppy on the table placed for cuddles. The entire scene was so absurd Dove lost any will to continue, letting out a frustrated breath, standing back up straight to avoid the girls flocking to try to pet the poor confused giggling faunus who was ticklish. One hand pinched the bridge of her nose, muttering to herself as the other slid along the wood of the table's surface to adjust to her new position when she felt odd grooves.

The grooves didn't feel like natural wood cracks or gaps. As Sterling was yelling at the insensitive humans to release the faunus from their weird behavior and reminding them that Dakota was in fact a person, Dove was moving her hand from her face and turning curious eyes towards the texture. Beneath her fingers, rough letters were carved into the wood. It was just a name, scored deep into the wood so that even sanding the surface and repainting wouldn't remove its branding.

She turned her head a bit to better read it. Jin had been watching her quietly amongst the chaos, having noticed her sudden pause when her hand caught something on the table. Dove's eyes squinted a bit before her face went very calm and her eyes seemed to glisten in a way unfamiliar to Jin for only the briefest of moments before the older girl stood straight and called after her crazy 'friends', easily getting them to fall back and head back to their group.

Sterling was once again giving Dakota a speech about not being so easily manhandled, or in this case girl handled, by others while Dakota was just chuckling nervously and patting Sterling reassuringly insisting it was fine. Already pretty used to this in such a short time, Jin just ignored them, casually leaning to read the table that Dove found so interesting. There in the wood, written with an odd choice of lower and upper case placements, was the word 'WenDie".

It was curious, really. For a bit, Jin wondered if it might be a brand or a place or maybe short for something she might not know right off the bat. As she sat there contemplating it all, it hit her that the tall faunus that was Dove's 'friend' or something at camp last year was named W something or other. Eventually Jin figured it might be her name or some codename for her.

After all, the reason they were able to land this table was because all the students thought it had some silly curse or something because of some creepy faunus that quit school and she hadn't seen the faunus at all. The bells tolled to signal the return to classes. As the boys got up, Sterling looked over to Jin who was watching Dove leave with her group, "So, want to sit here again tomorrow?"

Dakota watched for an answer as well, leaning forward to see around Sterling but Jin shook her head with a faint smile that seemed to be a bit sad, "Nah. Let's find a different spot from now on. This one just wasn't… right."

Sitting in class, Dove could only focus her mind out the window as it started to rain. Rain was the catalyst that had kick started it all really and Wendie ignoring her while carving in that table had been the spark that ended it all. How fitting to be together on the same day. It wasn't a secret to her why the specific letters were chosen like they were, but no one else would ever put it together considering many people still didn't even believe they were ever really friends and simply thought Dove was just being nice.

All the same, it made her feel special for a moment. With time, she began to have less of the bad days.

—-

Winter entered her office and saw Dove sitting at the large window with a knee up, using it to prop up her head on her elbow, watching snow fall outside. She was home for the Christmas break and had decided to stay with Winter so they could look over academy options other than Beacon and get her mother's help picking a good option to apply for.

When the girl realized her mother had returned, she turned her head, running her fingers in her short hair, "Hey Mom…"

Winter walked over and leaned at the other end of the window, watching with her daughter for a while before glancing over again to watch Dove. She'd been home for a few days already and Winter had noticed she was very distracted and more reserved than usual. She had begun to grow a bit concerned at this point, "Dove."

The girl turned from the window again and looked at Winter, "Yes Mom?"

The woman slid to sit next to her at the window, face soft and caring, "Is something on your mind? You haven't seemed alright since you got home. You know you can talk to me about anything right?"

'If only that were true…' she thought, wanting to tell her mother everything but refusing to break her promises.

Besides, at this point talking about any of it meant backtracking so far the pain would just be miserable again. No, that wasn't something she had any interest in doing for any of the numerous reasons she could easily think of. Instead, she forced herself to shrug and act normal, watching the snow again, "I'm fine Mom. Rough school year is all. Sorry to worry you."

At least that wasn't untrue. It just was true for reasons that were different than she was implying. Either way the semantics were not important. Winter went to reach out but Dove slipped out from her grasp before her mother's hand touched her, the hand pulling back in reaction as the teen walked off, "I'm going to go grab the forms. I only have a few days before I have to return and submit my application for the first entry dues. I'll be right back."

Dove was talking plainly but Winter couldn't help but feel like the girl was trying to avoid something. Even Qrow had noticed and messaged Winter trying to see if she knew anything. She missed the days when her little girl needed her for everything. Now she was lucky if Dove told her much of anything it seemed. But then, she wasn't a little girl anymore after all. Dove was seventeen and halfway through her final year at Signal, soon to be going off to one of the big academies to become a Huntress.

Looking around the office, Winter realized just how much she felt like this job had taken from her as Dove was growing up, even if Dove never showed her any resentment for it. Sure, Dove would openly hate when Winter wouldn't let her come on errands or meetings but she usually had been fairly kind about how business Winter had to be all the time. It helped when Winter started bringing Dove with her to Beacon for work but did that take away from the girl?

While Winter was lost in her thoughts, Dove was returning to the office, staring between Shade's and Haven's applications. Her eyes were locked on Shade for a moment. Would she get a chance to see Wendie if she was out in Vacuo perhaps or would the faunus be in the wilds of the desert? Would it even matter if she did? No one was going to let her talk to Wendie.

She shook her head and stopped walking for a moment to take a few steady deep slow breaths, trying to pull herself back together before she continued. Now was a super terrible time to cry or get emotionally upset after all. Once she was ok enough to return she walked back through the door with both forms, looking them over, "I think Haven might be the one I should fill out right Mom?"

She glanced up, Winter not really paying attention, "Mom? Did you hear me?"

Winter blinked and glanced at Dove, standing up and walking over, "I'm sorry, yes. Haven right? That's a strong choice. It's a fine academy."

The air grew uncomfortable and almost stifling between them. Dove clenched on the papers a bit, biting her lip a little, trying her best to keep it hidden but the papers were just barely shaking. Winter could tell she was struggling and cleared her throat, taking the Haven paperwork and turning to round her desk, trying to give Dove a second's grace to breathe.

She had no idea what was really wrong but clearly Dove didn't want to say so Winter didn't want her to worry or get upset any more than she already clearly was. Dove closed her eyes and swallowed before Winter turned back around to sit, thankful for the brief break then coming to the desk as well and sitting with her mother to get the paperwork done.

When they got home for the night, Dove sat in her bath staring at the water having long since gone cold around her, resting into the wall. She tried to think about anything else but, although it had become very rare, she was having a very bad night. Slowly, she climbed from the water and got herself dried and ready for bed in a numbness that ached. It felt like she was hardly even there as she felt her feet carry her to her mother's room.

When she opened the door Winter was sitting up in bed with a tablet finishing some work and glanced up at her confused until she took her in fully. Her face changed and she set the tablet down, gently patting next to her, "Dove, my dear come here."

Dove closed the door behind herself as she made her way to the empty side of Winter's bed and climbed in, sitting there staring at the wall for a moment next to her quietly as her tears ran down her face. She could feel Winter's fingers in her hair and the soft reassurances that wouldn't register in her mind as she reached up, rubbing her eyes with a pulled sleeve of her shirt and her face turning to her mother.

Winter was just watching her with so much genuine concern and love that Dove felt herself break. She fell towards Winter, curling her legs into herself and wrapping her arms around Winter's waist as she buried her face into her mother's body, deep, heart wrenched sobs fully coming bubbling up to the surface.

Her mother gently held her, a hand in her hair and the other rubbing her back, gentle voice trying to soothe her pain, "Dove, I don't know what's wrong but I'm right here for you. You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to, I'll be here for you no matter what. Let it out dear."

Dove's fingers clenched into Winter's shirt as she cried, it still hurt so much to be as alone as she felt. She had thought she was doing better but then Wendie's birthday passed and that sucked. When her own came it was worse. Now she was picking her future and all she could think about was the last words they had said to each other and how Wendie had just disappeared with nothing to tell her even why after telling Dove she would never leave.

She just couldn't keep doing this all alone anymore even if she couldn't say what it was. It was just too much and disassociating from it all wasn't helping it go away either. Pretending to give a shit about the gaggle of idiots that followed her around like puppies only seemed to hurt her more and more whenever she had time to herself as time passed. And the room never gaining anything to fill the barren void only continued to mock her with reminders of the loss and the isolation.

Even if she couldn't tell Winter why she was falling apart right now, she knew she could cry and her mother would just hold her until she had no tears left to give and at least someone's warmth would be wrapped around her while she ached instead of the cold feeling of the silence and shadows of emptiness.

She didn't know how long she balled into her mother for but eventually she exhausted herself and passed out from the emotional strain. Winter stroking through her hair, her own heart breaking seeing Dove so upset with now way to fix it. When Dove's sobbing tapered off and her breathing evened out and slowed, Winter brushed her bangs away to see she was asleep. The woman wiped the wet cheeks and tucked the girl into the spacious empty half of the bed before doing a bit more work on her tablet, if mostly to stay up a bit longer to be sure Dove would actually stay asleep.

—-

Sunlight is never the kindest when it wakes with a full vicious assault to one's face and weary eyes. Dove squinted and shielded herself in the blanket from the bright streak hitting her face from the window, body curled tightly on itself in the big empty bed that was definitely not her own. She stared at the sheets in the dim filtered dark, fingers picking at the bedding as she considered the previous night's events. She was so thankful to have such a closeness with her mother that she could just be given such comforts without needing to give any explanations.

Dove assumed eventually her mother would either ask out of curiosity or assume it was just something related to a teenage trouble but if Dove never explained, her mother wouldn't push further. That relationship they held probably was the reason Dove got away with many things she probably shouldn't, but for now she would relish in such trust and freedoms and worry about the consequences later in life.

As expected, the rest of the holiday went without even a mention of the moment of weakness. Dove returned to school, turned in her admissions paperwork, and went about her mundane, boring existence of routine and nonsensical displays of false flattery.

She continued to bother Jin constantly, watching as each time the dragon became more and more miserable. Every time she broke Jin down, the faunus recovered less and less, dragging the dragon down to Dove's level of misery seemed to be the only thing that was helping bring Dove back out of her own, thus it was clear to Dove the obvious choice to heal from her pain, regardless of how much it was causing Jin.

Eventually Dove had gotten most of the school besides Sterling and Dakota against the dragon, bringing immense satisfaction to the girl to be able to see Jin in agony without even having to do the work herself most of the time anymore. Of course Sterling was angry with her for it but he was also too busy keeping Dakota from being bullied to really do much about it, and too busy trying to stop all the rumors that he was gay just because he was friends with the dog faunus. It wasn't that he had any issues with gays, he just knew he wasn't and he didn't like how it was being spread about him in such a negative manor either.

—-

When spring midterms came around, their first draft admissions were handed back out. They would find out if they were accepted or if they would need to apply elsewhere. When Dove opened hers, she wasn't even remotely surprised to see she had been accepted. Quietly, she messaged Winter the news, slid the paper back into the envelope, and left the classroom, heading to the empty outdoor pavilion to sit for a while before she would have to be flooded with people wanting to know how she did even though they would all also know the answer as well.

Dove had made it a point to tell everyone she was applying to Shade on purpose to make sure anyone trying to stalk her would end up elsewhere. She didn't want to continue this charade into the next place she went. She was so done with it all. She was only bothering to keep it up until she graduated because she didn't want it to come toppling down on her in a way she couldn't take right now with everything else going on inside herself currently.

If any of her crazy fans didn't get into Shade, she had also talked up Beacon and Spire, hoping they would just want to impress her and had made sure to make Haven sound like such an awful choice that she'd hate anyone who even considered it. That would keep the ones she didn't want following her at least. She needed this fresh start so badly.

—-

Her last day was about what she would expect. Jin couldn't wait for Dove to be gone and honestly, Dove couldn't wait to get away from her either. Her parents played nice long enough to both be at her graduation and even were nice to one another even if obviously forcing it to help her move out her dorm.

She was going to stay with her father for a bit before she went back home so some things were going with him and the rest with Winter. Grabbing Reaper, the last item to remain in the room, she ran a hand across the frame of the long since abandoned bed of her ex and sighed. Time had helped at least numb the pain, now all she generally felt was sad memories and her eagerness to forget all of this and start over so it could stop haunting her when she left this place.

Softly, with a bittersweet tone, she whispered before heading out, "Goodbye."