22nd of First Seed, 4E 201
I've made it to Whiterun, thank the Divines I didn't die... There are so many wolves in Skyrim, huge packs of them. However, they didn't bother me, I suppose that's the only up side of this retched curse... if I remember my studies, I believe there's a temple here? I wonder, will it be as grand as the temples in Cyrodiil? I need to locate the temple...as well as the Hall of the Companions... I need to be rid of this curse, I can feel the beast. I hope it feels how much hate and resentment I feel towards it. I have been a loyal follower to the eight Divines all my life... why must I be cursed by a retched Daedric Prince, Hircine? That's why I depend on the cure... the kind barmaid has brought me my meal now, bless her soul...and the chef too... by the Gods that smells good.
I close my journal, my quill set aside, "thank you," I said to the Redguard woman, dipping my head in gratitude. I had not had a warm meal since I left Bruma. I moved my things to the side, placing the steaming bowl and platter in front of me. I had ordered whatever was freshest, so I didn't have an exact idea on what it'd be. Roasted leeks and cheese, my favorite, but the soup... I don't recognise it, must be a traditional Nordic recipe... it resembles a beef stew...? But the smell is all wrong, it smells more like boiled fish soup, but it doesn't look like it at all... I'll ask the barmaid when she next comes...I'll ask for her name too.
Shaking my head, I tentatively brought a spoonful of the mystery meat soup to my lips, gently blowing so as not to burn myself, I sipped up the broth before placing the chunk of meat into my mouth. Definitely not fish or beef, and not anything that I recognise... but by Mara did it taste divine.
After my meal, I pulled my journal over to me once more, reopening to the page I previously written in before dabbing my quill into my ink pot.
The food in Skyrim is amazing. It makes the meals back home seem under seasoned, true, back home they were also Nordic dishes, but not even remotely close to what I had just eaten here. Then again, it could be from the lack of proper food, I did only have a limited amount of rations that would keep fresh with me, tasteless jerky and bread. Or maybe it's simply the skills of whoever cooked it? I'm rambling over food when I should be asking for directions...
With that, I stood up, leaving my journal open. I grabbed a small satchel from my traveler's sack and filled it with a few preserved red and blue flowers, they are in abundance here in Skyrim, specifically along the paths, as well as some coins. If I'm to stop at the temple, I must leave an offering to the Divines to guide me on my way. I adjusted the satchel over my robes, which were a way of marking me a priestess of the Divines, grabbed my room key, then left and locked the door. It wouldn't do to have possessions stolen.
Outside my room, the inn started to become populated with the evening crowd, all of the seats claimed, even the posts holding up the ceiling were claimed from people leaning against them, drinking and laughing while the bard played a tune. I walked over to the bar, "I'm looking for the temple, where would that be?" I asked the innkeeper, keeping a tight grip on my satchel.
She raised an eyebrow, "Not many pilgrim to the temple nowadays, what with the old tree all shriveled up. It's up in the Wind District, past the markets. You'll see it after you pass the tree, its to your left. To the right is the Companions' Hall, Jorrvaskr, if you're interested in work." I nodded and thanked her, then left the inn, lightly brushing past the other patrons. Outside, I breathed a sigh of relief, it was much too crowded inside the inn, but it reminded me of home, less refined of course.
The marketplace is exceedingly less crowded than when I had arrived earlier, only a few stragglers here and there, browsing the stalls of their wares, or just chatting with the stall owners. The innkeeper said to go past the marketplace, so I can't go back the way to the city gates, the only other way to go is up a flight of stairs, and I dread getting lost in this unfamiliar city. I steeled my nerves, and ascended the flight, coming into a circular section. In the middle a tree, bare of any leaves or even moss stood tall, yet disappointing to look at. Well, there's the tree she spoke of...now, turn left, I walked around the tree. My heart sank with disappointment when I saw what was the temple. I would have missed it entirely if it weren't for the shrines of Kynareth on either side of the door. It's an absolute pity the temple is so small, how must the proper tributes to the Divines be given if the temple is not even big enough to hold a crowd of devotees?
I shook my head and pushed my feelings aside. Perhaps it's not the custom here to have large temples. I pushed open the door and stepped inside. I could smell the scent of lavender and incense floating through the air.
A priestess stepped forward, a surprised smile on her face, "Welcome, fellow Sister, to the temple of Kynareth. It's been so long since a fellow devotee has stepped into our temple." I smiled in relief, pleased that at least the customs inside the temple were more similar to Cyrodiilic customs.
"I am Sister Lyra of Bruma, I've come to pay tribute." I bowed my head, waiting for her to respond.
"Welcome, Sister Lyra, I am Head Priestess Danica. Please, this way to pay your tribute," and with that, Danica led me towards the back of the temple. We passed a few cots, occupied by the wounded and ill, tended to by a priest. Danica stopped in front of the shrine, decorated with other offerings, lavender, septims, even a dagger, presumably from a warrior or hunter. I thanked her and knelt in front of the shrine, my hands clasped together with my head bowed.
'Oh holy Kynareth, hear my prayers if you grant it, I request the strength and bravery to aid me in my next trial. I fear that I am unworthy of your blessing due to what ails me, but my faith remains strong and true, should you accept my prayer.' I pray silently, my eyes closed, my hands still clasped.
After I've finished, I stood up, placing my offerings in front of the shrine, my hand lightly brushing against the cool metal, once my fingertips did though, a warmth spread up from the tips and into my whole being, leaving me feeling energised. I whispered a thank you to Kynareth for her blessing, and took my leave, nodding farewell to Danica and the other priest.
With the blessing, came more courage to aid me to venture forth and towards the Companions' Hall. The legendary home of the Companions. A massive boat, flipped so the underside faced towards the sky, rose in front of me, a building underneath it, clearly it's purpose serving as the roof. Shields decorated along the walls and the flipped boat, some looking ancient, while others looked newer. My guess being fallen comrades, each shield telling a story. I stopped in front of the door, the sound of merriment drifting through the wood, albeit muffled. I took a deep breath, and pulled open a door, thankful it didn't creak, and slipped inside, silently closing it behind me. A very large table sat in the middle of the room, three sides surrounding a large fire pit, the tabletop piled high in food.
A crowd gathered to my left, and from what I could hear, based on the sounds beyond the wall of people, and what the onlookers were shouting, no doubt a fight has started. I looked around, mentally face palming as I realised I didn't have a plan on how to ask for the cure. It would be unwise to reveal myself as a monster based on rumors alone. But I've come all the way here, so I cannot turn back around and head home to Bruma.
A man turned his head my way, his eyes narrowing as his face shifted into a deeper scowl, his nose wrinkling as if smelling something foul. His one eye silver and blinded, a scar running along the length from his brow, down to the middle of his cheek. I couldn't help but be intimidated by him, his form was huge compared to my own, not mentioning the large armor he wore, a massive sword strapped to his back. He started coming my way, his scowl turning into a threatening glare, causing me to back up, my back hitting the door. He stopped in front of me, towering over me, making me look up towards his fearsome face.
"You dare enter this hall, Beast? What gives you the right to come here," he all but snarled, yet his voice remained low, the others not even noticing him gone. Then my eyes widened and my heart skipped a few beats. He had called me a beast! That must mean he knew of my curse? Does he suffer as well? The rumors must be true! With that thought, my hopes soared, yet I couldn't speak, only stammer.
"I-... I-," my eyes trailed towards the crowd of people just yards away from us. His eyes narrowed, flicking towards the direction he came from.
"Mind yourself," then he grabbed my wrist and led me away from the door, his grip like an iron cuff around my wrist, preventing me from anything but to follow his lead. He led me down a flight of stairs, and into a corridor, doors lining the walls. Presumably barracks? I didn't know, and I wouldn't know, he just led me further down the hall, as well as a few twists and turns before we came to a stop in front of a pair of double doors. He knocked, then stepped inside, dragging me along behind him.
"Harbinger. This beast dared come into our home," and with that he pushed me forward, causing me to stumble. In front of me, three men sat, one scowling, his arms crossed over his armor. The man next to him, larger, yet similar looking stared warily, but his posture showed friendliness. The last, an ageing man, stroking his beard looked me up and down, his gaze thoughtful. Then he gestured me closer, and I obeyed, falling to my knees in front of him, the Nords of Skyrim were more rash than those in Bruma, I must not ask for a fight, especially in a room with four warriors.
"Child, why have you come? It's ok, we know of your beast, for we share your curse," I felt his hand rest on my shoulder, and choosing to look up rather than continue staring at the ground. The man who brought me here scoffed at the word curse, and if I had looked, I'm sure his eyes would have rolled as well. Nevertheless, I nodded meekly.
"Y-yes...I've heard rumors, a-and I've came to s-seek a cure for my ailment, Sir..." I flushed when my jaw quivered, so I clenched my teeth together.
The old man frowned, "Kodlak, my Child. As for a cure, I'm afraid that there isn't one. We knew this when we took on the curse, as did our Forebears before us. I'm sorry to disappoint you." His hand fell from my shoulder then, and I felt my heart drop. No cure? But there must be one! There has to be... I felt my eyes start to well up with tears, my gaze falling back to the floor.
"B-but there must be one, I d-didn't choose this curse! I've never wanted it! I don't wish to remain a monster and harm the citizens I heal and pray with, there must be a way to remove it!" My voice rose as my tears fell, my hands shaking. I did not care that I'm about to sob hysterically in front of them, my world has once more been shattered, like that night I received the curse. I've relied on the cure for so long. For so long, it's been the only thing keeping me going besides the guide of the Divines.
I felt a hand on each of my shoulders, I didn't look up at first, until he spoke again, "Child… sit with me, tell me how it happened…" I looked around, just then noticing that we were alone, the other three warriors, having left. I didn't even hear them leave. Slowly, I nodded and got to my feet. I sat in the chair Kodlak gestured to, across from him. My arms crossed themselves onto the table, then I rested my head on them, tears still staining my cheeks.
We sat in silence before I fully registered what Kodlak had said.
"T-tell you… how I got the curse…?" I slowly asked, my gaze drifting up to his, his eyes full of patience and understanding for my curse and how I feel. Did he also not want this curse? I closed my eyes and breathed in when he nodded.
Letting out a slow and long sigh, I straightened myself back up, my hands resting in my lap, fidgeting with the soft fabric of my robes. I dreaded having to speak about that night, I've never revealed it to anyone. The only ones who knew were my parents and myself. I've always kept it to myself, out of fear of being driven from my home because of the monster. But I'm not home now. I sighed once more from my thoughts, then gathered my courage to begin my story, sending a quick prayer to the Divines, I started.
...
As I recounted the tale of that dreaded incident, I had to pause countless times due to the sobs racking my body, but I managed to finish strong. I kept a lot to myself, as I have never revealed so much before, let alone to a stranger. This must be how those who are unused to confessions to priests and priestesses feel when confessing sins, yet trusting enough to do so.
I finished, tears leaving my eyes, my gaze downward at my clenched hands resting on the table. I only looked up when Kodlak had placed his hand on top of my own, his eyes full of sorrow. I looked back down, shame washing over me. I'm here blubbering like a baby, and Kodlak, bless his cursed soul, for listening to me… he hadn't interrupted once during my story, even when I was wracked with cries and whimpers from my own misfortune.
"I'm sorry that happened to you…" he trailed off, and then I realised I never told him my name , and I flushed, wiping my tears away.
"Lyra," I say quietly.
"Lyra… but seeing as you have the Beastblood, it would be unwise if you left on your own… seeing as you have no control of your inner beast, you're a danger to yourself and others." I looked down at my lap when he finished, fear starting to wash over me before being replaced by acceptance. If I am to die, it'll be for the safety and wellbeing of those around me.
"If I must die, let me pray first…" I stated solemnly, only to be startled from a loud fit of laughter from Kodlak, my head snapping up to stare at him in shock and confusion. How can one laugh at death?
When he stopped, he had a grin on his face, "come now, Child, you have no reason to fear death in Jorrvaskr. I was meaning that you should stay here, learn to control the Beastblood, you'll be welcomed here." I stared in confusion, the Companions are warriors, fierce fighters.
I shook my head, "I am no warrior, Kodlak, I'm a priestess, a healer, I'm not even a proper mage. I don't belong with the Companions." I stated, still confused on why he'd even suggest I would be, especially since I wasn't meant to die by their hands for my curse. What is it that he's getting at? Surely he doesn't plan to train me as a warrior, I'd be a lost cause. I've never held a weapon in my life, and the only offensive spell I know is how to light a candle, which would never do any good in a fight, much less as a companion. Plus I had taken an oath of peace many years back, vowing to never fight and cause harm to others. I intend to keep that oath. I looked back up at Kodlak, immediately becoming flustered when I realised he had been speaking while I was lost in my thoughts.
"I-I apologise, Kodlak, I didn't catch what you said…" I muttered sheepishly, my face burning in embarrassment. He only smiled at me in return, and started over.
"I was saying that we, being the circle, can teach you how to control the Beastblood, in exchange you heal our brothers and sisters in arms when they become injured. If you are able to make potions as well, please do so. You'll have a bed here in Jorrvaskr, as well as meals." He finished, the way he had said it however, seemed more like an order rather than a request, his eyes clouded in an unreadable emotion. Slowly, I nodded, not really having a reason to argue. It would be nice not having to worry about harming innocents, as well as not having to pay for a room at the inn daily… I stood up, said a farewell to Kodlak, and started on my way.
"Don't tell anyone, Lyra." Kodlak called, momentarily causing my steps to stiffen before returning to normal. I wouldn't tell anyone, it'd be a risk to myself, as well as this… circle, Kodlak mentioned. I closed the doors behind me, and then stared ahead of myself. Well… this place doesn't seem too big, I shouldn't get lost. I started walking forward once more, trying to remember the exact way that massive Nord brought me. I need to learn everyone's names… and how to navigate through these halls, by the Gods, how big is this place?!
"Ow!" my thoughts were interrupted when I was knocked to the ground, a snicker sounding from above me. I rubbed my forehead and glanced up, seeing an Imperial woman, an apologetic smile on her face, a hand stretched out.
"I'm sorry, didn't see you there," she said sheepishly as she helped me up.
"Same here, I'm sorry…" I replied, my face heating up once more.
"Are you a new recruit here? I'm Ria, I'm new as well," she smiled and held her hand out. I tentatively shook her hand, giving a small smile of my own, still embarrassed for being lost in my thoughts enough to crash into this woman.
"I'm not exactly a recruit, I'm a healer, well, a priestess of the Divines really. I'm Lyra," I introduced myself, how many times will I be confused as a warrior I wonder? It's not like I look like one, or even remotely act as one. Maybe everyone who joins once was as common as I? Farmers and commoners the like? I shook my head out of my thoughts.
"Do you know the way out…? I'm sort of lost-" I mumbled the last bit embarrassingly, it wasn't like I meant to… I shouldn't be embarrassed… Ria grinned and nodded before grabbing my hand and started leading me.
"Don't worry, I got lost here many times before. I admit, I still sometimes get a bit turned around, but I'm getting better, you will too." She sure is positive, I thought to myself, grinning, at least she isn't intimidating.
"So, what brings you here?" Ria asked, trying to start up a friendly conversation.
"To Skyrim, or Jorrvaskr?" I asked tentatively, unsure how I should answer… I can't exactly tell her the truth, and I don't really have a plan on what to do here in Skyrim, seeing as my only goal was the cure… well, seeing as it would be nice not having to be locked up every time the moons filled, it would be worthwhile to stay to learn how to control the monster… and during then I could probably continue my priestly duties.
"Uh… I suppose just helping as much as I can, and if my place to help is here in Jorrvaskr, that's where I'll be. Healing when needed, but…" I trailed off and glanced to Ria, her amber eyes glancing at me when I had stopped talking.
"I don't suppose there's a place for me to make potions here is there?" I hesitantly asked, feeling foolish as I doubt that they'd have one, but it didn't hurt to ask. I looked forward again, my eyes wandering the stone hall. I heard a muffled snicker and looked back to Ria, a hand over her mouth as she walked.
"Potion making? We're warriors, we don't exactly know that sort of thing," she looked back at me, laughter in her eyes.
"No offence meant towards you of course. It'd be nice to have a healer around here, especially after a hard day's training, you know?" she faltered, "ah, I don't suppose you do… well, you're always welcome to watch, we train in the yard behind Jorrvaskr, every day." She grinned, her eyes gleaming with pride, like mine would when I'd take care of a citizen at the temple at home… she really enjoys being a Companion, I can tell.
"So Ria, why did you become a Companion?" I could feel her fill with pride beside me once the words left my mouth.
"I've wanted to be a Companion since I was a little girl, I grew up on a farm not far from here you see, and some days if I sat on the stump at the edge of the field, I could see the mighty warriors walking along the path. I decided that I didn't want to live my life on a farm forever, I wanted to be a Companion. A hero, one where the bards will sing tales of me, saving a village. Of course I haven't done that yet, I haven't even gone on a job on my own yet, still training…" she finished sheepishly.
Before I could say something next, a red haired warrior, her face having three diagonal lines of war paint, stopped in front of us, following after her was the large, friendly seeming man from Kodlak's room. The woman, radiating confidence, said with a stern face
"Giant at Pelagia Farm. You're coming with," she said curtly to Ria, not even acknowledging me.
"Yes, Aela, I'll grab my sword and shield," Ria nodded, her voice leaking with her barely concealed excitement. With that, the two warriors nodded in agreement and left back the way they came.
Then Ria turned to me, smiling apologetically, "well, duty calls…" she turned before stopping and turning back around, "you're almost there, the door to the main hall is just ahead, last door on the left. Bye!" She waved enthusiastically and grinned as she took off down the hall, turning a corner into a room. I waved awkwardly after her, before following her directions. Surprisingly, it really was just a little further.
Back at my room in the inn, I gather my belongs back into my large brown satchel, my prayer beads of the Eight, a few books about the Divines and their trials and blessings, as well as clothing. I had run out of food supplies right before I managed to make it to Whiterun, but it didn't matter too much, as I still had a goodly amount of gold to survive. My journal placed safely back in my pack, the quill I used earlier going back into its own little case of quills, as well as the inkwell, the stopper on of course, back into its casing too. Checking to make sure I had everything I came with, I check out of the inn and make my way back to the home of the Companions. Perhaps, given that I am fully accepted, which unfortunately I don't think is possible, due to me not being a warrior and knowing a secret about the warriors, I should see about assistance being lent to the Temple. The tree, the Gildergreen, needs healing.
With much hesitance, I re-enter the hall, beginning a new chapter of my life. I pray to each of the Divines for continued guidance to allow me to push through this task and to keep my faith strong. I hope to rejoin my family in Bruma again, if not cleansed of the curse, at least in control of it.
Note: welp, added a bit more to this, it's actually been sitting collecting dust in my files for a while…. Oops