Happy Birthday Jazu10501! :)
Hiya, hope you're having an amazing day! Unfortunately, I really had issues with this chapter, but I'm eager to get it out there. Enjoy!
Laurien hadn't quite realized how far she still was from the hotel, and without any signs of empty cabs, the journey ended up being over an hour's walk in the middle of the cold winter's night. Though she didn't exactly mind, considering the amount of things she had to mull over in her head.
She'd done the right thing, she supposed, leaving Erik to sort himself out as she did the same for herself, but a sliver of doubt still ended up burrowing its way into her mind. If history was to be a reliable reference, he shouldn't be left to his own devises as revenge infected his mind with reckless abandon.
He hadn't changed in their ten years apart, though somehow it was understandable, considering how could one be expected to grow if they were kept within their own head for that exceedingly cruel amount of time, without another soul to talk to and learn from? Laurien found herself recognizing the process and stopped dead in her tracks, wanting to kick herself as it all made sense.
Shivering slightly, Laurien had wrapped her arms tightly around herself as she continued walking briskly in the direction of the hotel, constantly reliving her earlier regret of not wearing more layers as the slight wind picked up and tormented her flushed face.
Maybe she'd been too harsh on Erik, not taking in all the different components that might fuel his behaviour, the most important of which being his past. Thirty years ago, a man with dangerous authority and power had turned his whole world upside down, ripped away his family, heritage, religion, and purpose, all the while scarring him for life. There wasn't even a question as to why he wouldn't feel the need to retaliate with vengeance and pain. Laurien had known this from the start, yet had never quite understood.
Laurien shook her head, muttering obscenities under her breath as she came into view of the hotel. Erik was right, she begrudgingly admitted to herself, she was utterly incapable of making up a damned decision, always jumping back and forth between two or more possibilities. Maybe the best thing to do was to take herself out of the equation, just let Charles run his course without her interference, while she dealt with Erik in her own way. As reluctant as she was to leave the others without a word of explanation, this seemed to be the most peaceful of options for her conflicted mind at that moment.
Laurien stopped at the entrance of the hotel, pursing her lips in frustration as thoughts moved in and out of the forefront of her attention. Fuck, she groaned internally, she was right back again to where she'd started mentally at the start of her trek, and now in dire need of a strong drink.
A wave of much needed warmth met her as she passed through the revolving doors and into the lobby, seeping slowly into her body as she quickly made her way over to an arriving elevator and slipped in after the last person had left. A muffled tune filled the empty space as she waited patiently for the bell to sound before the doors opened to reveal the dark red carpeting of the fifth floor.
Laurien stepped out and carefully made her way down the hallway, making sure to not make any noise by Charles' room that may alert him to her presence.
She riffled through her coat pockets, fingers brushing against the stolen roll of film that she'd retrieved from the mailbox when she'd left, before making contact with the key to the hotel room. She quickly opened the door and was startled to find that the light was on, illuminating the surroundings enough to reveal Charles, Logan and Hank seated in various places around the room, their heads turning toward her at the sound of the door opening.
Laurien fought against the urge to turn on her heel and run, as her initial plan was foiled by their mere presence, and instead walked slowly into the room, closing the door none too gently behind her, as irritation nipped at her nerves.
"Where have you been?" Charles asked as he rose from his seat at the foot of the bed, walking toward her like a disapproving parent who had caught their child returning after curfew.
Laurien shook her head, not making eye contact as she moved past him and toward her bags. "I'm just here for my stuff, Charles."
"So you're joining him now, are you?" Charles accused, following her across the room.
"What?" Laurien asked, furrowing her brow. "No, I'm going home."
A confused frown twisted his mouth. "What do you mean?"
"I mean that I am taking myself out of this nonsensical storyline you all seem to be making up as you go." She explained, stuffing her red flannel shirt into her bag before zipping it shut in finality. "I've had enough."
"But you can't. We need you." He implored, grabbing on tightly to the strap of the bag. "The future needs you."
"Bullshit." She growled, staring daggers at him as she snatched the bag back. "The future is fucked and we can't possibly do anything to change it."
"So you would just turn your back on it all?"
"Isn't that exactly what you did, Charles?" She countered, observing him as self-doubt crept into his argument. "You really shouldn't be the one talking so high and mighty about this to me."
"Look, we'll explain everything, just–"
She shook her head. "No, I'm going."
"Laurien, do not leave me again." Charles pleaded, grabbing her arm.
"Again?" She repeated dangerously, eyes flashing a deep crimson as she ripped her arm from his grip and shoved him back. "I didn't leave because I wanted to, you shut me out and forced me to leave after your selfishness cost us our child."
Laurien halted abruptly as she noticed the sudden change of Charles' expression as a consequence of her extreme words. He lowered his gaze, unable to hold hers any longer as shame and guilt roared off of him and mingled with her own, a rattling breath escaping Laurien's lips as all the blood seemed to drain from her face with the realization of her dire mistake.
"I– I didn't…" She tried, her voice suddenly hoarse, as she felt like she'd just ripped his heart out and torn it to shreds. "I'm sorry, Charles. I didn't mean that."
The door to the bathroom suddenly creaked open, the noise of which causing Laurien to look up, only feel her blood run cold through her veins when she saw who was standing in the doorway.
She stared, the bag in her hand slowly slipping from her fingers and falling to the floor with a thump. Sera stood before her with a towel clasped tightly her hands, her mismatched eyes slightly glazed over as they looked upon Laurien with little interest.
"Did I interrupt something?" She asked, the nonchalance in her voice piercing Laurien's chest as all the air seemed to escape from her lungs.
Everyone in the room seemed to be waiting with bated breath for Laurien's reaction as she tried her best to process the situation before her, but ultimately found herself failing under the pressure of the past few days and the recent trauma that still tormented her aching head.
"Is– Is this some kind of fucking joke?" Laurien stammered, glancing over at Charles as a wave of tears quickly rose to the surface.
Charles' eyes grew wide as a panicked realization dawned on his face. "Laurien, I promise you, it's not."
But Laurien wasn't listening. "Is that Raven?" Her hands shook violently as she raised one of them to her mouth, her eyes flickering rapidly between her former fiancé and the figure who assumed the form of her family member she'd thought dead. "Charles, you're not that cruel."
"No, I would never–" Charles began, taking a step toward her, though only causing her to move away from him.
"Is that Raven?" She repeated more forcefully, the tears spilling over as her legs gave out beneath her, causing her to sink to her knees. "Tell me, Charles!"
Charles lowered himself to her level, holding her face gently between his hands as he tried to get across to her. "No. Laurien, please, it's Sera."
"How?" She demanded, clutching his wrists like vices.
Logan responded. "She can regenerate, like I can."
The new piece of information demanded further explanation, but combined with Laurien's uneven emotions and incredible headache, words didn't seem to be enough. Suddenly, a nearby corkscrew flew across the room and stuck into Sera's chest, eliciting little reaction from the woman as it began to spin, burrowing itself deeper into her skin.
"Laurien!" Charles' voice cried out, effectively jarring her concentration and bringing her back out of the red void. The corkscrew ceased its movement, then a low chuckle rose from Sera's throat as she lifted her hand and ripped it out with little more than a wince. She examined the corkscrew as the wound in her chest slowly stitched itself up, miraculously showing no hint of trauma whatsoever.
"You hurt me, I hurt you, right?" She snarled, baring her teeth at Laurien as she released the psychological blow.
Laurien suddenly lunged at the other woman, not even managing to make to her feet before she was grabbed by Charles and held back in his embrace.
"I'll handle this, Chuck." Logan grunted, bodily hauling Sera into the washroom before shutting the door behind them.
Laurien frowned at the sound of water gushing out of the bathtub faucet, only to be outdone by a large bang of something hitting the porcelain tub.
All the anger seemed to dissipate for the moment as she felt Charles' arms loosen around her, as if to let her go, but Laurien pressed her head to his chest and tightened her grip on him, allowing the sound of his heartbeat to calm her. They sat wordlessly on the carpet, the only sound to meet their ears was that of running water until it stopped abruptly, then leaving them in utter silence.
"How about you sit down and we'll explain everything." Charles murmured softly into her hair, rubbing soothing circles upon her back, just like he would when a particularly bad nightmare occurred back at the mansion.
Laurien nodded into his chest, before reluctantly disentangling herself from him and sitting down on the edge of the mattress, raising a tentative hand to her head as it throbbed.
A moment later, the door to the washroom opened once more to reveal Logan half carrying, half dragging, a thoroughly drenched Sera back into the room.
"What the hell did you do? Drown her?" Hank asked from where he stood by the window, speaking for the first time since Laurien had entered the room.
"Well, strictly speaking, yes." Logan shrugged after he'd placed Sera down on a nearby armchair. "Quick trick I learned during the war when she'd have trouble coming down after a mission. Flushes the toxins out of her system quick."
Logan must have seen the confused look on all of their faces, considering he then reached into Sera's soaked jacket pocket and withdrew a small bag filled with white tablets. "Classic amphetamine cure."
Sera retched, causing what seemed to be a mouthful of water to spill over her chin. "Also a less than admirable way to get out his frustrations." She croaked bitterly before looking up at him. "Never thought you'd do that to me again."
"Well, I didn't know you were still in this mess." Logan said, putting his hand on her shoulder and squeezing gently, an act of affection that Laurien had never seen him use with Sera before. "What's going on, Sera?"
"Please, not now." She asked softly, looking as though she might fall to pieces at a moment's notice.
Laurien stared uncertainly at Sera, wondering if this still was the very same woman that had been giving out insults and sarcasm like they were candy for the past couple of days. Her whole demeanor had changed drastically, from the way that she held herself, looking utterly defeated and small, though her eyes now held a bright vibrancy that they had not previously possessed.
"You hurt me, I hurt you." Sera repeated, though this time not in animosity, drawing Laurien from her train of thought. "Dan taught you that saying, right?"
Laurien slowly nodded without a word.
"Guys, could you please give us a moment?" Sera suddenly asked, purposely avoiding eye contact with any of them except Laurien.
Charles looked ready to protest, but Hank crossed the room and gently took his arm before escorting him out. Logan, on the other hand, stayed put in his place beside Sera, as if he were her dutiful bodyguard.
Sera waited for the hotel room door to shut completely before continuing. "Did he ever tell you who taught him that?"
Laurien cleared her throat, her voice still raspy and hoarse around the edges. "Did you teach him how to murder those closest to him as well?" She asked, trying to calm herself as she recognized the evident anger returning to her words.
"Maybe." Sera admitted miserably as she stared down at the carpet. "Korea was a different time. We did what we had to survive."
"You were with him?" Laurien asked, wet eyes widening at the confession. "Why didn't you send him back?"
The other woman simply shrugged. "I don't know. My own guilt? My empathy toward him?" She shook her head, eyes darkening visibly. "I could tell he was there for the same reasons I was, and I thought I could help him."
Sera paused for a few moments, winding the length of shoe lace around her fingers absentmindedly as she seemingly contemplated something before continuing. "The night of the raid, the night that Dad… that your Opa died, it was at my insistence that Dan be able to join us after we found him trailing along." She let out a slight chuckle as she smiled sadly, lost in the memory. "I told him that we should be training future resistance fighters, no matter what their age."
Sera coughed again, a small dribble of water escaping her lips. "Your Opa said that we were too far from the house to turn back, and that Dan was my responsibility, whatever happened to him was in my hands."
An element of the story suddenly dawned on Laurien. "Were you the woman? The one with the story?"
Sera's smile grew wider, and Laurien had to admit, it was an attractive smile It was the same one from the picture in the photo album. "That fucking rabbit story. I was just trying to improvise to keep him busy while the others talked."
Sera stalled again, for a long enough time that Logan nudged her arm to remind her to keep going. "Well, he saw what he saw, and there was no reversing it. The only thing I could do was get him home to your parents and rid the building of every trace that could have possibly hinted that we were ever there." She said, her face growing vacant. "I ended up burning the whole building down."
She snapped back to reality and gazed unblinkingly at Laurien's hard face. "There wasn't much to say after that. Your mother was furious with me, so I left for Amsterdam, to get myself in with a larger sect of the resistance. When the Allies made their way into the Netherlands, I met Logan. With the soldiers, came the drugs, and well… they don't really mix well with my brain's chemical makeup."
Sera's gaze then shifted to the floor. "I'm so sorry, Laurien. For Dan, Bastijn and Roosje. It's all my fault. You see; I'm the catalyst for everything that happened." Sera babbled, the words spilling out of her mouth like a growing leak from a dike. "I have to live with what I've done, I have no choice in the matter, and I guess that I thought the drugs would help me get through it."
Laurien frowned, her brow furrowed. "Is there any way for you to get off them?"
Sera hesitated. "It's… not that simple. I've tried many times, but now, after so many years of on and off usage, I don't know if I can bare that process."
"You still had no right to do what you did at the Embassy." Laurien reminded her, though more in despair than in anger. "For hours, I thought that my last living relative had killed herself right in front of me."
"I know." Sera admitted, shaking her head. "I can't take back anything that I've done, no matter how much I'd like to, and I know now I really should have waited a little longer before entering your life."
A long stretch of silence passed between the two of them, before Sera got to her feet. "I should go." Sera said, heading for the door. "I believe I've done enough damage for one lifetime."
As if something had suddenly possessed her, Laurien grabbed Sera's hand, stopping her in her tracks. "Do come back and find me some day. When you're absolutely certain that you're ready."
Laurien didn't know if it was just a trick of the light, or if Sera had actually become misty eyed, as a ghost of a smile tugged at her lips. "Thank you." She whispered, as Laurien gave her hand a small squeeze before allowing her to slip through her fingers.
When Sera reached the door, her hand hesitated upon the handle before she turned around to face Laurien. "I know I'm in no position to be giving advice, but… maybe give Charles a little slack." She suggested with a small shrug. "He may be difficult and misguided, but he just thought that he was doing the right thing. That, and he loves you very much."
Laurien nodded solemnly and watched Sera slip out of view. In the silence that followed, Laurien sat on the bed, feeling exhausted as she mulled over the information in her mind
"She's one hell of a woman, huh?" Logan murmured to her left as he sank down into the armchair Sera had previously occupied.
Despite everything that had happened, and the swirling thoughts in her head, Laurien found herself agreeing with him.
So Sera's gone for the time being, and I'm actually quite glad. She's a roller coaster, and not one of the good ones, like Space Mountain or the Matterhorn, she's the rickety old wooden roller coaster that makes your back hurt for hours afterwards and sorely regret ever considering going on it. Drugs can do weird things so a person, especially if that person is a mutant with different chemical makeup. Don't worry, Laurien will soon be on the other side of these bad couple of days. Can't really blame someone for reacting the way she has been when they're dumped in that kind of a ridiculous scenario. Sometimes people just need a bit of time.
Anywho, what's up? Nothing much going on here, just excited for Christmas. Saw Rogue One yesterday, I loved Cassian Andor and Chirrut Imwe. I am one with the Force, the Force is with me.
Thank you for all the support, hope you all enjoyed, and please review! Happy Holidays everyone, and a Happy New Year!