This chapter's a bit of a doozy; lot's of conversations, lots of issues in the process of being dealt with. I've kind of been jumping back and forth between this chapter and the next one, so at least the next one should be coming very soon.
Enjoy!
As Laurien walked down the upper east wing of the newly built mansion, various sounds floated from the many students' rooms, creating a cacophonous mixture in the hallway. The voices of newscasters in several different languages weaved between the dulcet croons of a man called Sting, who passionately assured the object of his affections that he would be stalking them. Laurien could recall the first time she had heard the particular song a week ago, and been taken aback by the obsessive lyrics. She'd been assured by several students that there was no reason to be alarmed, as apparently, if the beat was catchy enough and could be easily danced to, it didn't matter what the lyrics said. This didn't make much sense to Laurien, yet she chose to push it to the side as she attempted to pick out some of the newscasters' words through the music.
Two weeks had passed since the events in Cairo, and it remained the primary topic of discussion as the world began recovery efforts after the attack.
A man's voice narrated from a room whose door was slightly cracked open. "It seems only by the grace of God, that the ominous destruction seen from one end of the globe to the other, stopped with…"
As she continued down the hallway, another voice stated, "At a debriefing today, CIA Special Agent Moira MacTaggert revealed to an investigative committee…" which prompted Laurien to pause, listening for further information.
Moira had been instrumental in setting the world-wide depiction of the events in Cairo. Laurien would've been surprised if Moira had managed to get any sleep with how hard she was working these past two weeks. In fact, she'd visited them only a few days ago to tell them that Stryker had been arrested and was facing several serious federal charges related to his work in his secret military base. While Laurien was satisfied in this regard, she still couldn't help but feel a bit cheated, as he would likely never face any repercussions for his part in the raid on the mansion.
"The committee was further stunned to learn that fugitive Erik Lehnsherr aided in defeating this powerful and unknown…"
Laurien permitted herself a small flare of hope to swell within her at hearing those words, before she continued on her way. They hadn't heard anything regarding their status as fugitives. While part of her attributed it to the world having more pressing matters to deal with, another part hoped it was a good sign that government agents hadn't come to the mansion with the goal of arresting them.
She passed the final door along the hallway, and detected the familiar voice of Walter Cronkite saying, "The potential destructive power of mutants is sure to fuel new controversy and debate at a time when mutants were becoming accepted around the world…"
Despite the message coming from a comforting source, a wave of foreboding quickly overtook her earlier feeling of tentative hope. Her mind thought back to ten years prior, to Logan and his desperate mission to alter the past in order to save the future. Trask's assassination had been the catalyst for the terrible path Logan sought to change, and while they had managed to divert their course then, what was to stop another event from putting them right back on that path? What if time was immutable after all, as Hank had theorized over a decade ago, and Apocalypse had sent them careening towards their inevitable fate of destruction once more?
Shaking her head as if she could remove the troubling thoughts that way, Laurien turned the corner to the adjoining hallway and instead set about occupying her mind with admiring the ornate sconces lining the walls. Charles had done well in choosing the furniture and decorations for the newly rebuilt mansion under such short notice. It had been a quick turnaround in rebuilding the mansion to its former grandeur. Charles could recall the exact layout of the entire grounds from some of their past renovation plans, and transferred that knowledge to Jean. With her guidance in their heads, she, Laurien and Erik worked together in rebuilding the mansion from its bare bones. It had been quite the sight to see, though Laurien hoped they would never have to see it again. The mansion blowing up once was far more than enough for her.
As Laurien's gaze shifted to inspect a new painting Charles had procured, Peter suddenly appeared at her side, stumbling forward a few feet before catching himself on the wall of the hallway.
"Jesus!" Laurien hissed in surprise, clutching her chest.
Peter winced, shaking out his legs. "Sorry, still a little rusty."
"Enjoying your newfound freedom?" Laurien chuckled, taking a deep, calming breath as her heart rate steadied itself.
Peter's leg had healed quickly after they put it into a proper cast. He'd only had to lug it around with a pair of crutches for a week and a half before he was fully healed. It was only yesterday that he'd finally been allowed to break free from the cast.
"Whatcha up to?" He inquired, a strange tone to his voice as he fell into step with her.
"I'm just going to check on Kasia after her nap."
"Ah, right," Peter nodded with a glaringly fake air of nonchalance. "And do you know where Erik is?"
"Uh, not really, though I'm sure he's around somewhere." Laurien said, narrowing her eyes as she looked over at him. "Is today the day?"
Peter let out a nervous breath of laughter, but shook his head. Despite having been back in the newly built mansion for a week, he'd been avoiding Erik like he had the plague.
"So… when are you going to tell him?"
Peter sighed. "I don't know. I don't even really know how." He lamented with a shrug. "Like do I just walk up to him and say 'Hey, Mr. Magneto, sir. I'm your son' or what?"
"Well, maybe not like that." Laurien chuckled, raising an eyebrow. "First of all, I would avoid calling him Mr. Magneto."
Peter hummed in assent, his mouth twisting in a comical grimace.
"I can help if you would like." She offered.
"Yeah... I don't know. It might be something that I need to do myself." He admitted, scratching the back of his head. "Thanks though."
They entered the nursery and found Kasia yawning in her crib, swaddled snuggly in a soft yellow blanket.
"Hi, Kasia." Laurien cooed, untucking her from the swaddle and taking her carefully into her arms. She turned to Peter, "Would you like to hold her?"
His eyes widened. He hadn't gotten the opportunity to do so yet due to his precariousness on his crutches. "If that's alright?"
Laurien nodded and carefully handed him his youngest half-sister.
"I don't think I've held a baby since Lorna was little."
"And you said that she's thirteen now, right?" Laurien asked as she helped him put his hands in the proper position to support Kasia's head.
"Yeah, had her birthday just two months ago." Peter gushed, a soft warmth emitting from the young man. "My mom had me help out with the party since I was the only one who could keep up with Lorna and all her friends."
Laurien smiled. "Aw, she must have loved that."
"Yeah, she did. She's the only one of my mom's kids not to have a mutation, so I guess she sometimes feels a little left out."
Just then, Erik appeared in the doorway. "Ah, here you are."
Peter let out a slight strangled noise at the sight of the metal bender. He carefully gave Kasia back to Laurien before vanishing in a sudden burst of wind.
"The kid sure knows how to make an exit." Erik commented with a frown as he approached her. "I can't help but feel like I know him from somewhere."
"He sprung you from the Pentagon." She reminded him, being careful with her words. "And single-handedly saved everyone when the mansion blew up."
"Ah," Erik nodded. "And what's his name again?"
"Peter. Peter Maximoff."
Something momentarily passed across Erik's face which Laurien could only describe as vague disquiet before he cleared his throat with some difficulty.
"You two seem… close."
"He's a nice kid." Laurien stated simply. "You should talk with him sometime. I think you'll both get along quite nicely."
He raised an eyebrow. "Is that so?"
His attention diverted to Kasia as she blew a raspberry at him, putting a soft smile on his face. She reached out for him with her tiny arms.
"Here, I think that she's had enough of me for the time being." She said, obliging in handing Kasia over to her father. The little one almost immediately extended her arms upwards and patted her hands against Erik's face, her tiny fingers grasping at his beard.
"It seems like I'm not the only one who likes the scruff." Laurien laughed softly, leaning against Erik's side while his free arm wrapped around her.
"Shall we go see what your big sister is up to?" Erik asked Kasia.
"She and Boris the Bulldog have been inseparable lately." She murmured, as they exited the nursery. "They might be in the kitchens, scoping out the fixings for Friday pizza night."
As they made their way towards the main staircase, Laurien felt Erik's arm pull her closer, his thumb rubbing her shoulder. She'd be lying if she said that the past two weeks had been easy on them. It hadn't been long before they both experienced the aftereffects of their ordeal.
After the dust had settled around them and the American army arrived in Cairo, Charles convinced a General to lend them a jet to get home, much to the profound confusion of his men. They were then reunited with the students, as well as Sera and their children, back in New York, who had taken up residence at a nearby hotel and swarmed them upon their arrival.
While both Erik and Lauren had been exhausted once they got settled in their own hotel room, neither of them wanted sleep. A strange energy plagued their bodies, setting them on edge. It was as though a hoard of angry wasps buzzed beneath their skin, preventing them from experiencing a moment of complete peace. Instead of even attempting to sleep, they sat wordlessly on the couch, their legs intertwined between them, trapped by their own thoughts. Nina was sleeping in her bed, but only after having fallen asleep in Erik's arms, refusing to be separated from him while she was awake. Laurien took comfort in seeing the movement of her gentle breaths, reminding herself that despite it all, they were alive and together.
Eventually, Laurien grew frustrated by the anxious sensation and rearranged herself on the couch, snuggling up against Erik's side. He shifted to accommodate her, pulling her closer until she could rest her head against his chest.
"Is this my shirt?" He murmured, gesturing to the flannel she was still wearing. It had been the only thing of his to survive the explosion simply due to her wearing it on a whim that day.
Laurien hummed in response, running her fingers along the soft material of his new sweater. She gathered a handful of fabric in her hand, and was taken aback by the sudden fear of having to ever let go. Frowning to herself, she forced herself to ease her grip, instead contenting herself to rest her hand against Erik's chest and bask in the fact that they were together again.
Erik had continued to assure them all that he was fine and required no medical attention, yet Laurien's mutation had never been proven wrong before. A chill clung to Erik's body, one that weighed upon his limbs and dulled the usually vibrant blue of his eyes.
Despite trying not to throughout their journey back to New York, her eyes couldn't help but linger upon the red marks around his neck. The woman with the glowing whip had disappeared during the final battle against Apocalypse. She had apparently gotten into quite a scrap with Hank, and had attacked the jet alongside the metal-winged Horseman before it crashed. After that, there had been no sign of her. While Laurien didn't relish the thought of what she would do if she came across the woman, a dark and vengeful part of her wished to find out.
"How do we go on from this?" He asked, bringing Laurien back to the present before she could spiral further.
Laurien took a deep breath before answering. "I'm not sure." Laurien admitted truthfully. To be honest, she'd been thinking the same thing ever since the adrenaline from the battle had worn off, but to hear it spoken aloud made her heart clench painfully in her chest. "There isn't exactly a rulebook for what to do next after the world almost ends."
Erik let out a breath of air through his nose in an attempt at a laugh.
"I suppose we just take it day by day," She said, knowing that it was far easier said than done. "We make sure the kids get through it alright, but in order to do that, we have to make sure we're okay as well."
Erik remained quiet.
"I don't want to push you regarding what happened with Apocalypse." Laurien continued, feeling Erik's body tense beneath her at the mention of the mutant. "I just want you to know that I'm here for you — always. Whenever you need me."
A moment passed, and his body gradually relaxed. She felt the press of Erik's lips against the top of her head.
"I love you." He whispered, his hand coming up to caress her cheek. "More than you could ever know."
"I love you too." Laurien replied, her hand flexing against his chest as a subtle warmth returned to his body. "We're going to be okay, Erik."
Yet, in the two weeks following the events in Cairo, Laurien found herself waking up most nights to Erik being tormented by a nightmare. His face would be twisted in pain, his hands scrabbling against his throat as he attempted to relieve the invisible pressure pressed upon it. The only thing she could do was simply place her hand upon his arm, and hope that she could soothe him through the physical connection.
Each day, the angry red marks left on his throat by the Horseman's whip gradually lessened, though the rest would take much longer.
Erik held Laurien and Kasia close as they descended the mansion's main staircase. The sound of familiar voices prompted Laurien to glance up, and when she spotted Raven speaking with Hank outside Charles' study, a flash of guilt suddenly blossomed in her stomach.
The day prior, Kasia had been fussing furiously when Laurien tried to put her to bed. It was a beautiful early autumn evening, therefore she thought that some fresh air and the rhythmic movement of the new stroller might help calm her. Just as she'd been heading out the front door, Raven caught up with her and asked to join her and Kasia on their stroll along the outskirts of the property.
"So, I told him." Raven revealed once they were far enough away from any prying ears. "I told Kurt that he's my son."
Laurien startled, "How did it go?"
"He took it well." Raven said slowly, her brow then furrowing when she added, "He didn't say much, though I suppose it's as good a reaction as I could hope for."
Laurien tilted her head in consideration. "Well, it is a lot to process."
"I told him about his dad, and how he disappeared. How I'm sorry that I left him alone, that I was young and didn't know what I was doing." Raven elaborated, before taking a deep breath. "And while that's no excuse, I'd like to get to know him and make up for lost time."
"That's good." Laurien encouraged, putting a gentle hand on Raven's arm. "He may need a few days, but I can see him coming around, because who in the world wouldn't want to get to know you?"
Raven huffed a small breath of laughter, shaking her head to herself. Her expression sobered as she then also revealed, "I also had a conversation with Charles."
"Oh?"
"He asked me to stay as a teacher."
Laurien watched Raven carefully as the other woman looked off in the distance. "And what are your thoughts about that?"
"I— I'm not really sure." Raven admitted, shoving her hands in her jean pockets. "I just don't feel as though I have a lot to offer here."
"Oh Raven, don't sell yourself short. You have so much wisdom and life experience to offer." Laurien reminded her, gently bumping their shoulders together as she began listing off Raven's accomplishments, "You've seen so much of the world, all while fighting for mutant rights. You were one of the original team members of the First Class, who helped avert a war for Christ's sake. And then—"
"Alright, alright. Hold your horses there, Laur." Raven interrupted, an involuntary smile tugging on her lips.
"It's all true. You're also a brilliant teammate and an amazing friend." A wave of nostalgia chose that moment to crash down upon Laurien as she was reminded of all the times she and Raven would lounge in one of their rooms and discuss everything under the sun. "I've missed you so much, Raven. We all have."
"I know. I've missed you too." Raven murmured, her expression softening as she met Laurien's eyes, though her gaze then lowered to the ground. "I can't stay, though."
Laurien frowned. "Why not?"
Raven sighed, glancing back at the mansion. "They're going to make me something I'm not. I'm not the leader they all want me to be. I've never been good at it. I'm better in the shadows. This idea that the world has of me, it's not who I am or even who I want to be."
Laurien nodded understandingly. "People will always project what they want to see onto others. The whole wide world has an opinion about us, especially after Washington and Cairo. But in the end, their opinion doesn't matter. It's how you view yourself that truly matters." She said, pausing and then grimacing as she tried to run through what she'd just said. "Does that make any sense?"
Raven let out a laugh. "Yeah, I think so."
"What I mean is no one is forcing you. You can stay or leave; take the job or refuse the job. It's entirely your decision." Laurien assured her, taking her hand in hers. "You know that we'll accept you, no matter what."
Raven squeezed her hand. "Thanks, Laur."
"All that being said, may I suggest something though?" Laurien asked, waiting for Raven to nod before she went ahead. "Maybe stay a while? Be with your family. Be with your son." She let her words ruminate for a moment before then nodding toward the stroller. "I know that Nina and this little one would also like to get to know their Auntie Raven."
A hint of a smile tugged at Raven's lips as her eyes fell upon Kasia. She sighed again to herself before looking back up at Laurien. "Will you be sticking around?" She asked, her demeanor relaxing a bit as the subject matter shifted.
"For a little while, at the very least." Laurien responded, brushing aside a leaf that had fallen into the stroller from a nearby tree. "Some stability will be nice for the girls, especially after this whole debacle."
Raven hummed in agreement.
"Erik and I were thinking that we'd let Nina decide whether or not she'd like to go to school here. It will be quite the change, the language, the culture, the environment, but I believe that she can handle it."
"If she's anything like you, I believe she can as well." Raven smiled.
They continued around the far edge of the property, all the while admiring a row of trees whose leaves were gradually changing their color. Laurien looked down at Kasia, finding to her profound relief that she was settling, her violet eyes blinking slowly as sleep beckoned her.
Raven broke the silence. "How about Charles?"
Laurien frowned, taken aback by the question. "What about Charles?"
"Well, you and Charles were quite close for a number of years."
"Yes, I know." She said flatly, feeling as though she suddenly had to tread carefully.
"And now?"
Laurien shrugged, turning her gaze away from Raven to take in the landscape. "We're okay. We've both moved on." She stated, hoping that her response would signal the end of this topic of discussion.
She wasn't so lucky.
Raven nodded slowly, though a frown was ever present upon her face. "Are you sure he has?"
It was as though she'd taken a blow to the gut as the wind was knocked out of her. "What do you mean?"
"I see the way he looks at you." Raven prodded, looking at her with a serious expression. "His eyes lit up like a torch when you arrived at the mansion. I can't help but think that he's not over it at all."
Laurien let out an uncomfortable laugh, unconsciously pulling her sweater around herself a little tighter as the evening suddenly seemed to turn cold. "I don't even want to entertain that possibility."
"Why not?"
"Why not?" Laurien echoed in bewilderment. "Where is this coming from, Raven? I'm married, he barely talked to me when the girls and I first arrived, and besides, what about Moira? They seemed to fancy each other when we all first met, and they seem to be rekindling it again now that she has her memories back."
Raven gave her a look that made her somewhat doubt her statement.
"What?" Laurien asked, her voice unnaturally strained and high.
"Have you really not noticed?"
"Of course, I've noticed." She admitted bitterly, before putting on an air of sarcasm. "It's almost as though I have a special way of detecting others' emotions, or something."
When Raven shot her another look, Laurien lost her patience.
"I don't want to talk about this Raven."
"I know, but I still think this needs to be addressed."
"Fuck, Raven. No, it doesn't." Laurien bit out, somewhat harshly. "Our relationship finished over twelve years ago. I'm sorry, but if he still harbors feelings for me, that's his issue to deal with, not mine. It's about damn time he moved on."
"Maybe so for your relationship, but you don't get over losing a child. Perhaps he still needs that closure that you feel you've gotten. A conversation, at the very least."
Laurien felt like she was going insane. "We've already had a conversation addressing it." She exclaimed, fighting the urge to put her head in her hands in her frustration. "I told him about the pregnancies, about the consequences of what he did. I gave him back the ring, we said our goodbyes…" Her voice faltered, as her gaze fixed upon the dying light along the skyline for a moment. The expanse of orange lit up the horizon like a trail of fire, scorching the earth where it met the sky. The faded burn scars along her forearms prickled at the reminder.
She took a deep breath before she continued. "You don't know what I felt when I found out what he'd done. You weren't there."
The flare of sorrow from the other woman let her know that she'd hit a sore spot, but she was too consumed by her own grief to immediately address it. Tears pricked at her eyes as everything came rushing back and she silently cursed herself.
Laurien wheeled Kasia's stroller to a nearby bench and seated herself upon it.
Raven sat down next to her. "I'm sorry, Laur. I shouldn't have brought it up."
"No, it's alright, it's just…" She sighed, blinking back tears. "If you've noticed those signs in him too, then I suppose maybe he…"
Laurien trailed off, her gaze falling to her hands clasped tightly in her lap. A disorienting static clung to the edges of her mind, preventing her from thinking properly.
"I feel like I've been doing so well these past few years." She continued, suddenly feeling very tired as she tried to convey what she knew to be true. "I've built a life that I love with Erik and the kids. While I also loved my life when I was with Charles, he upended it and sent me crashing into some of the lowest years of my life. I was alone after I left Westchester. Sure, Hank stayed with me until I could move on my own, but then he returned to Charles. He could never leave him. Not really."
"He's always been quick to forgive and forget, hasn't he?" Raven noted quietly. "It's simultaneously his greatest strength and his greatest weakness."
Laurien nodded with a sigh. "I don't blame him for going back– I knew he would, but when he did it just hurt so much more than I anticipated."
Raven reached out and took one of Laurien's hands, her fingers making soothing circles along her skin.
"I do my best to avoid thinking about what happened, but no matter how hard I try, I still get these terrible headaches, and they never fail to bring me back all over again." Laurien turned to look at Kasia, her beautiful little Kasia, finally asleep and nestled safely in the stroller. "Then I look at my children, and I can't help but think that two of them are missing. One passed without a sound, while the other was torn from me in an act of violence. There really is no escaping it, no matter how much time has passed."
She'd tried for so long to forgive him for what happened. No matter how many times and different ways she tried to absolve his guilt, a roar of anger would engulf her and send her back to square one. She'd tried to consider how he felt regarding the matter, yet she was met with a similar reaction.
"I feel like I've given him everything I possibly could, given the circumstances, but…" Laurien sighed, biting her lip as she looked off into the distance. "I don't know what more he wants from me."
Woooo, heavy stuff! Things with Laurien and Charles are going to get a bit more complicated, and in the end I think it's going to change matters at the end of Dark Phoenix as well.
I've been busy starting up a new education program, which should help me gain some skills to hopefully work in a museum one day. It's slow going right now, but overall I'm just happy to be a student again. I've also been writing like crazy on Ao3, and slowly uploading chapters from Remembrance onto it as well.
Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and please leave a review!