Hello! So, I may have inadvertently lied in the previous chapter when I said that this one would come quickly. I truly thought it would, but... no. This entire first half didn't exist until a week ago, then made the chapter very long, so I had to divvy it up yet again, so there will be another chapter in the Apocalypse storyline after this one. And considering the very dialogue-heavy nature of it, it may also be expanded and divided.
Anywho, thank you for your patience, and enjoy!
Darkness had descended on the grounds of the Westchester mansion, sending its residents to bed with wide yawns and sleepy bids of goodnight. With the sound of crickets drifting in through the open window of one of the barren lounges, Laurien sat in an armchair near the fireplace, lost in thought.
It was late, the girls having been put to bed hours ago. She'd come to the empty room to read a weathered copy of 'Goodbye To All That' which she'd found at a second-hand store on one of the school's recent excursions into town. It would take many years before the mansion's library collection was replenished to its former glory. Despite the fascinating nature of her book's opening pages, Laurien instead found herself staring into the flames of the hearth, her mind spinning circles around itself as she thought back to her conversation with Raven. So thoroughly entranced in her own thoughts, she hadn't noticed when Erik entered the room.
"You alright?" He asked, accidentally startling her and causing her to drop her book on the carpet with a dull thump.
Laurien let out a sigh, chuckling softly at her own jumpiness. "Christ, you scared me."
"I did knock." He said with an amused quirk of his lip."But you seemed to be somewhere else entirely."
Laurien hummed in agreement, leaning down to retrieve the fallen book. She set it upon a nearby side table before pulling the blanket she had draped around herself a little tighter.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Erik asked as he settled into the armchair across from her.
Laurien's body tensed, her gaze falling to the fire once more as her mind waged a silent war with itself. They'd made a promise to one another a long time ago to be truthful in all matters, yet this particular matter seemed far too complicated for its own good. The romantic development in her and Charles' relationship had begun and finished while Erik had been long out of the picture, but the messy aftermath had involved them all in an almost disastrous argument in the air. Even afterwards, she hadn't spoken much about that period of her life with Erik, and to be fair, he hadn't asked. Both of them knew better than to bring up the past.
While over a decade had passed since then, there was no telling how Erik might handle the reminder of their complicated relationship. Then again, nothing good could come from hiding her concerns if it was still affecting her in the present.
So, Laurien took a deep breath and let him in.
"I had a conversation with Raven yesterday." She began tentatively.
"And what about it has troubled you?"
Her hands flexed unconsciously against the blanket, her nails catching on the fraying fabric. "We discussed past events between Charles and I." She revealed, watching Erik carefully from her armchair. "As well as some of the lingering complexities of our relationship."
Erik nodded, wordlessly bidding her to continue.
"She seems to think that Charles…" She hesitated, knowing that she wouldn't be able to take back the coming words once she said them. She cleared her throat, and while part of her worries remained firmly lodged there, the rest came out. "-that Charles may still need help coming to terms with the miscarriages."
"How so?"
She shrugged, though it hurt her to do so. "Just that it's still causing him pain, I suppose. I thought we had left it all behind us; the whole debacle with the serum, the attack on the mansion and the aftermath, but Raven doesn't think so."
Erik slowly nodded again, seemingly processing and considering the information carefully. "Has he said anything to you about it since you, Sera, and the girls came to the mansion?"
"No. Not aloud, at least." Laurien admitted quietly, her fingers now tracing the sewn lines of the blanket, her remembrance of that evening quite clear in her mind. "When we first arrived and he saw us, I felt his pain. It felt like a stab of a knife. I could tell that it hurt him to see me with them– with something he could've had, but lost a long time ago."
Erik's expression softened.
"Raven said I need to talk to him, so that he can get some closure."
"Had you not spoken about it before?"
"That's the thing, I thought we had. But…" She sighed, wincing slightly as a dull ache blossomed near the base of her skull. A migraine was threatening to rise to the surface. "If I'm being honest, I'm not sure what to do about it. I mean, it's been over a decade, and of course it hurts me as well to think about it, but is it really up to me to help him work through the consequences of what he did?"
Erik leaned forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees as he thought over her words. "I don't think it is." He finally said, his brow furrowing slightly. "I know Raven has both yours and Charles' best interest at heart, but due to the nature of the events that transpired between you two, it's ultimately only your judgment that matters. You endured something horrible and unimaginable, and no one has the right to dictate how you should feel about it. If you believed prior to your conversation with Raven that you got your closure and all was settled, then that's it. Nothing more needs to be said if you don't want to."
A slight sense of relief seeped through her veins upon hearing his words. She knew he was right, yet a sliver of doubt remained deeply rooted in her mind. "The problem is…" Laurien started, her voice suddenly hoarse. She cleared her throat, though she couldn't help the prick of tears that threatened to rise in her eyes, her long-held mixture of frustration and grief getting the better of her. "It just makes me think that maybe we can't stay here for much longer, especially if our presence brings him such pain."
Erik got to his feet and crossed the space between their two chairs. He knelt before her, leaning against her legs as his familiar rough and calloused hands enveloping hers in his gentle grip. "Even if it does, that part is not up to you. Charles has to be the one to tell us if it's too much." He said, before pressing his lips to the back of Laurien's hands. He looked up at her with blue eyes filled with understanding, eliciting a tremendous warmth to glow brightly in her chest. "I hope you know that you've done nothing wrong, Laurien. You weren't wrong to leave him after what he'd done, and you weren't wrong to come here to seek help for our family."
Laurien gave him a small, grateful nod as she blinked back tears. While she hadn't told him the extent of the worries she held regarding Charles, his reaction to the portion she had revealed inspired a soft and silent calm in her mind that she hoped would temper the rest for the time being.
"Thank you." She whispered, raising a hand to cup the side of Erik's face.
With nothing further to be said and the heat of the fire making them both drowsy, Erik situated himself on the carpeted floor and settled against her, resting his cheek against the soft material of the blanket that covered her legs. Laurien absentmindedly ran her fingers through his chestnut-coloured hair, watching the light from the fire flicker across his skin.
Over the next little while, she'd caught herself nodding off a few times in the sleepy din of the lounge. Knowing that she would wake up to a dreadful crick in the neck if she fell asleep here, she took in a deep breath to bring herself back further to the land of the living. She looked down and saw that Erik had similarly closed his eyes, his breaths slow and heavy. Laurien let her gaze linger on his peaceful face for a moment longer, a lavender hue staining her vision, before she leaned forward and put her hand on his shoulder.
"Come along, darling," She murmured, smiling gently when she was greeted by the blue of his eyes. "We'll be more comfortable in bed."
With her conversation with Erik running through her head, Laurien poured hot water into her mug of tea. A few days had passed since then, and while she was grateful that the conversation had occurred, the uneasy sensation that had plagued her had gradually returned. She'd kept a close eye on Charles as they all went on with their days, paying careful attention to any feeling she could detect from him when she was near, but more often than not, she opted to remain at a distance.
As the tea leaves steeped in the water, Laurien breathed in the comforting aroma of English Breakfast that had accompanied her mornings at the mansion for years. Even after all this time, Charles still had the same brand imported from England. With a slight sigh to herself, she added a splash of milk and two small spoonfuls of sugar before stirring it all together with a spoon under the influence of her powers.
Her mind drifted back to their first morning at the mansion before they'd gone down to Cerebro. A dull, yet painful ache had passed from Charles at the sight of the stroller; an ache Laurien knew all too well. Perhaps that ache would always remain within each of them, no matter what they did to address it. The thought simultaneously worried and relieved her. If that was the case, then it shouldn't stop them from continuing their friendship. Ultimately, their friendship was what mattered most. Charles needed his friends now, and avoiding him wasn't going to help the situation.
Taking the mug handle carefully in hand, Laurien summoned her courage and made her way through the mansion to Charles' study. She found the door slightly ajar, the melody of a jaunty Glenn Miller tune escaping into the main atrium through the crack in the doorway.
Laurien opened the door a bit more, knocking on the solid oak with her free hand. "Charles?"
"Ah, Laurien. Please, come sit." He beckoned, catching how her gaze flicked towards the record spinning on the turntable. "Even with all the new and popular music nowadays, I still prefer the classics."
Laurien gave him a small smile as she sat on the couch situated next to the door. "How are you feeling today?" She asked, keeping her voice light despite the difficult matters on her mind.
Charles had endured some difficulties in the aftermath of the events in Cairo. While Laurien wasn't privy to what had happened in the pyramid, the experience had left Charles feeling unwell. He now also suffered from migraines, and his energy was easily depleted due to them. Even at that moment as Charles placed a book back on the shelf behind his desk, his hand shook slightly.
"Better. Though I'm still not sure if I'll ever get used to this." He said, gesturing to the distinct lack of hair on his head.
"Hmm, well, it was going to happen anyways." She said with a small shrug. At Charles' look of mock offense, Laurien let out a laugh. "What? I've seen photos of your mother's father. It was bound to happen one way or another."
Charles smiled, the first genuine one she'd seen from him in a long time.
"I've noticed that Nina has settled in nicely with the other children." He continued, though Laurien wordlessly remarked how quickly he steered the topic of discussion away from his health.
"Yes, she's always been quite good at making friends, though it would be nice if there were some other children here that were closer in age to her." She said, thinking back to how easily Nina would have gotten along with the two youngest Williams siblings from the early days of the school.
"Yes, I believe the youngest of our students is twelve."
"She has also mentioned that Westchester doesn't have nearly as many animals as Katowice had."
"Ah, well, nowhere is perfect."
"And still no horses." Laurien commented rather disapprovingly.
"Yes, although it is somewhat of a kindness considering Hank is quite allergic." He said, wrinkling his nose.
Laurien chuckled gently. "Oh dear. Well, I suppose you are excused then."
"We haven't gotten much time to talk since…" He trailed off, searching for the right word before simply gesturing to his bald head again. "Erik filled me in on some aspects of your lives. It seems like you both made a prosperous life together."
"We have." Laurien said, attempting to ignore the strange feeling rising in her stomach. This shouldn't be so uncomfortable. They were friends after all. Friends should be able to discuss their lives freely, without fear. "We'll have to see if we can do it again somewhere new."
"Won't you stay here in Westchester?" Charles asked, kindly. "It would be so wonderful to have you back again. You could watch your children flourish in this kind of environment. You could even teach your old classes if you wanted."
She let out a weak chuckle, shaking her head. "I don't know, Charles."
"You would be safe here." He pressed further, seemingly misunderstanding the reason for her reluctance. "Your family would be safe here."
"I don't doubt that, but I don't know." Laurien repeated, hoping that he would leave it be. "We aren't even sure we'll be allowed to stay in the States after everything that's happened."
Charles bowed his head in understanding. "Right, though with a house full of mutants, who in their right mind would dare come and tell you that you couldn't."
She could tell that as soon as the words left his mouth he knew he'd made a misstep, but she was grateful when he didn't make any attempt to address it. Instead, a tense silence filled the room, before Charles finally decided to break it, shifting the topic of conversation yet again.
"I don't know if you were aware of this, but I have been checking in on you and Erik throughout the years."
"Oh." She uttered quietly, glancing off towards the window, not quite sure what to say. "Okay."
"Nothing intrusive. Just to see that you were alright."
She nodded slowly. "What would you have done if we weren't?"
"Well, Hank and I would have probably fired up the jet and picked you two up out of whatever situation you were in and then taken you back home here." He explained, wheeling his chair close enough to her that their knees were almost touching.
"Good to know that we had an escape plan if needed." Laurien commented flatly. "Though unfortunately that didn't quite pan out, did it?"
Laurien drew in a sharp breath, wincing to herself at how bitter she'd sounded. She began to formulate a quick apology, but Charles spoke first.
"Yes, I'm sorry about that. I was scheduled to check in, but…" He trailed off.
Laurien's intended apology halted before they could pass her lips, leaving her instead frowning at what he had just said. "How often were you checking in?" She asked carefully.
Charles opened his mouth to respond, but quickly shut it. His expression became distant and drawn, as though some great black veil of grief had passed over his eyes.
"Charles?" Laurien prompted, reaching forward and gently grasping his forearm, only to immediately pull her hand back as if she'd been burned. A sensation similar to pins and needles spread across her palm in the aftermath of what she could only describe as an electrical surge of conflicting emotions.
The man shifted uncomfortably in his chair before becoming uncharacteristically still. "I– Well… You see, I've missed you quite dearly, Laurien." He explained, his voice soft and slightly wavering.
Before she knew what was happening, Charles leaned toward her, causing Laurien to pull back sharply. Her mug of tea plummeted to the ground, its steaming contents spilling across the rug.
"What are you doing?" She asked, staring at him with wide eyes.
"I– I'm sorry." He stammered, a wave of ice water crashing down upon them both. "I'm not sure what came over me."
Laurien shook her head, swiftly getting to her feet and heading for the door of the study.
"Laurien, please. I'm sorry." He pleaded, directing his chair to follow after her.
Before he could get too close, she turned and halted his chair with her powers. The protesting squeal of the chair's mechanism filled the silent room as she manually forced it to retreat back to Charles' desk.
"You have not been feeling like yourself lately," She muttered lowly, keeping her gaze fixed on the spreading tea stain as her words trembled beneath the weight of her emotions. "Therefore I will excuse you this once. Nothing of the sort is to ever happen again. Am I clear?"
"Laurien, I-"
"Am I clear, Charles?" She repeated more forcefully, finally meeting his wide eyes as red bled along the edges of her vision.
"I…" Charles gaped, his face stricken. "Yes."
Laurien let out a shallow breath before turning to slip out the doorway, slamming the heavy door shut behind her. She raced up the stairs, not quite sure where she was going, but simply needing to be as far away from Charles' study as possible.
Sooooooo, Charles may not be over her at all... whoops. This is gonna complicate things...
Can't believe it's already June, feels like last summer wasn't all that long ago, but here we are again. I'm not really a fan of the summer, cause I don't do well with hot weather, and it seems inevitable that we'll have another heat dome monstrosity like in previous years. As a result, I've developed a PTSD-like response to heatwaves/extreme heat, and if I don't have to go anywhere, I just disappear into the basement for a few days and don't come out until it's over. Even when I was a kid, I was obsessed with the idea of moving to Antarctica to escape the heat and be able to wear sweaters forever. Fucking global warming.
Anywho, that was a bit of a trauma dump, but that's where I'm at. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed me stirring the pot on poor Laurien, and please leave a review to let me know what you think about these new developments!