AN: Cyber Cookie to IloveM.A.D.B.; gettin that titular song ref and purpose for its use just right. Bummer bout your friend, but neat that you were in/know a choir that sang it.

Disclaimer: Bonesboy15 doesn't own Helluva Boss or Naruto. The following is a written work of fan-fiction. It contains adult language and situations. Reader discretion is advised.

One Knuckleheaded Glutton

Dirty Little Thing

Michael of Heaven was a simple creation. His – formerly its before Heaven and Hell started to adopt the mannerisms and cultures of God's children – duties were to lead the armies of Heaven to glory against the forces of evil. Upon completion of this task, he would relax eternally with the Lord. In the meantime, until the ultimate battle, he would hone his skill and try to save what souls he could with his spare time.

His current project? To redeem his fallen brother. Wh–No, not Lucifer. Silly. The Heavenly Father had plans for him, so Michael would leave him be. No, the one he was going to save was Raquel, the Fallen Watcher. One visit at a time.

His last visit had him leaving a lemon with his fallen brother. Now he wished to see how that turned out.

"Raquel, may I enter?" He rapped his knuckles on the door to his brother's sanctuary that was 'secreted' away from the eyes of others. Foolish Raquel. The highest of the choir always knew where their chorus members were.

The door was pulled open from the other side and Raquel stood there, nostrils flared and an obstruction of some sort over his eyes. Right, yes, humans called those 'sun-glasses' for some obscure reason. As if a glass could hold a sun, let alone two, adorable were the mortal children of Father.

"Michael."

"Raquel."

"...Get Raphael."

"What? Why? Are you hur–Dear Father!" Michael recoiled as Raquel removed his glasses. His radiant red eyes were swollen and crinkled nearly shut, particles of something crusted the edges.

"Am I hurt?! You tell me!" He jabbed Michael with the sun glasses. "Get Raphael! Fix me!"

"Yes, of course! Post haste!"

Of the five he'd made to date, this had to be one of if not the best deal he'd made with Lucifer. Now lying under the stars with his girlfriend on a hill not far from the ranch she was staying at, Naruto rumbled in content as he soaked in the Vibes around him. All pleasant, mostly sweet, a sharp Vanilla accented by the F.B.N. Vibe he missed so dearly. If he were any less experienced with emotive sense, it would be possible he'd get a bit tipsy from it.

"You've got some new scars." Loona hummed, her claws traced over a not fully regrown patch of peach fur on his shoulder. She scented it briefly and shook her head as she pulled back. "Ugh, what the fuck did you go through? More 'ninja' shit?"

"No-well, there was one guy." Naruto amended his words mid answer. She gave him a flat stare and he shrugged. "Older, stronger. Seemed tired. Might've been in Elysium for a while; he practically threw the fight."

"Right. About that." Loona straddled his waist — hello, sexy girlfriend, this was a sight he missed; as did another part of his anatomy — and his hands fell to her curvy, curvy hips that he loved so much. She put her hands on his cheeks, claws near his Spots, and leaned in. He felt his blood flow shift harder down and the wriggle of his tail started up. "You didn't know you were going into Elysium, right?"

"No..?" The sweet vibes changed to something sour, and the F.B.N. Vibe was still there, but it was becoming buried beneath the rank vibes that started to take over. "Loon?"

"I just...I really missed you."

Well, that was sweet, but the bad vibes were still abundant. Before he could ask what was wrong, she closed the gap and they shared another Boop. Mm, Vanilla Loona was the best Loona — no, wait. Post-sex Vanilla Loona was still the best Loona. Sharp teeth gently nibbled on his lip and he opened his mouth for her tongue to enter. Her claws traced over his Spots, he shuddered and The Wriggler went nuts, before she dragged them past to twine in his hair.

"Loon-?" He started to ask when the kiss ended, only for her to try and start anew. Nope, he wasn't having it. Her Vibes were still tinged by sour and bitter tastes. A lot of it was faint, as if directed inward. He cupped her face and pushed her back. Unholy fuck, the whine she let out in protest broke his heart. "Loon. Loona, no. Please talk to me. What's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing's wrong. You're back. Nothing should be wrong." She growled and a hint of a spicy Vibe mixed with the sour and bitter ones coming from her before it overcame them. Her captivating eyes lined with tears and she squeezed them shut as she trembled. "I should be fucking ecstatic that you survived the most infamous fucking gauntlet in Wrath. But I...I didn't even know you where you were until two fucking days ago."

"What?" He frowned. He'd thought Bee would at least tell her something; he'd have to find out when he got his phone back from her. This was supposed to be a happy night, for both of them. He pushed himself up to sit and wrapped his arms around her. His muzzle rubbed against hers and he rumbled. "Loona, what do you mean?"

"I-I knew you, that you'd be gone for a month, in Wrath, but–" Her hands dropped from his hair to wrap around his sides and her head pushed into the crook of his neck. His shoulder started to get wet; he increased the rumble. She whined and licked at his throat as her trembling increased. "...Fuck, I thought you were rotting in a fucking cell or something!"

Ugh, that might have been worse. At least in Elysium he could distract himself with the fights and occasional food. Shit, he still had to tell Loona that he was only around for a few days before the semifinals got started. First, he had to calm her down.

"Okay, well, I can't do anything about what happened," Aside from chew Bee out, he said and thought separately. He was going to rip his sister a fucking new one for dropping the ball this hard. He nosed her pierced ear and kissed the base of it. "But I'm here. Right now. With you. That's all that matters."

"I know. I fucking know." She growled. Her claws tightened on his back. Her tail lashed and she rubbed her face along his neck, which, cool, he'll just be a towel for her tears. He rumbled and tightened his arms around her. Her claws relaxed from where they rested and she stroked down his back as her Vibes lightened back to sweet Vanilla. She leaned into the hug and took a deep whiff of his scent, just as he did hers from atop her head. "But I can't, you can't do this again."

"We won't do this again. ...If I can help it." He nipped her ear when it flicked by. She grumbled something into his neck and he playfully rumbled back his own incoherent nonsense. She huffed a small laugh and he let himself grin. He rested his chin on her silky-soft hair and closed his eyes. "I really fucking missed you, Loon."

"I missed you, too." She murmured back. Her vibes started to become sweet again as she nipped and licked at his jaw. His rumble started to go at a constant rate and, though his back would protest in the morning, he started to drift off into the sweet embrace of sleep. Of course then the fucking hottie seated in his lap started to grind against him.

"I missed you...So...fucking...much." Her nips and kisses became more feverous and filled with whines.

"Loona," he growled. He didn't want sex to become a crutch...but damn if he wasn't torn on that idea either. Her lips and teeth toyed with the edge of his jaw, just by his – fuck, no, wait! That's his Spot. He snarled and tore away. "Dammit, Loona–!"

"Fucking–!" She growled back and grabbed his head to force him to look down at her. Which, he would do normally if she fucking asked. They snarled at each other, but she beat him to the punch. "Naruto, why the fuck don't you want to fuck me?!"

"You never said–!"

"I have been dropping hints all fucking night!" She snarled at him as she shook his face. He tore his head back and she tried to get out of his lap. Oh no, she doesn't get to run away that fucking easily. He held her hips firmly in place – partially so he could get to the bottom of this temper tantrum and partially so she stopped fucking grinding on his dick – and growled at her again. She jabbed him in the chest. Um, ow, her claws were sharp. It was excusable though; he kind of had a hard grip on her sides. "Sweet fuck – What the fuck do I have to do? Strip naked and jump you to get the point across that I fucking want to have sex, because I fucking will!"

"The suns going to come up any–"

"And Blitzø will probably flip his shit again and I can't fucking deal with that until I–"

"Loona." He growled at her in the way she liked and forced a Boop. Good, now she'll listen. He closed his eyes and gathered his thoughts. Then he opened them and growled again. "I want to fuck you. I want to eat your cunt, I want to fuck you stupid and make you my bitch. But I can't do that out here."

"Why the fuck not?!"

"One: look at what we're fucking sitting on." Rocky terrain under a thin layer of grass. Her snarl lessened and her ears folded back. Good. He nipped her lip during the Boop. "You want to take my knot while lying or kneeling on this shit?"

"...There's a stable–"

"Which leads me to two: this is private property. I don't need to give the Short King Wannabe any more reason to keep us apart." He huffed and closed his eyes as he pushed his head into hers for another nuzzle. "Fucking bad enough that I have four fucking days before I have to go help prep the stupid fucking festival."

"...We just—No, no! Fuck!" Loona whined and her Vibes started to sour again. Nope, not happening. He lifted a claw to catch her face, and pulled her into another Boop.

"Hey, hey! Look at me, Loon. Look at me." He stared her in the eyes, tasted the 'Fear' 'Fury' 'Desperation' in her Vibes. "I get four days with you. Then I need to wrap up something during the festival."

"...The Elysium fights." She breathed.

"Exactly." He pecked her lips, and she matched him. She caught his lip in her teeth and he sighed. A quick growl and twist of his muzzle freed him and she whined. "Loona, I will fuck you; just not out here."

"Ugh." She scowled at him. One of her claws shot forward and dug into his chest. "You are such a fucking pain in my ass."

"You don't know that for sure; we haven't done that yet." He teased, cheesy grin in place and eyes closed.

His smile was met with silence and he opened his eyes to see her ears straight up and bright red. Oh, hey, the sweet and sour Lust vibes were back. Wait, was that considered interest-? Yeah, probably, her cute as fuck tail wagged the longer they stared at each other and she was quietly starting to pant. He chuckled and leaned in to plant another kiss on her lips before he growled into her notched ear.

"There's my dirty little bitch."

She whined and squirmed on his lap and he just remembered why he had both of his hands hands on her hips.

"Fuck." He hissed as she ground into him. Her claws latched onto his shoulders and she pushed up against him. Her lips caught his momentarily before she kissed up to his ear.

"Yes, that!" She growled into his ear as her tail flicked from one side to the next. "Let's do that!"

Hm, he may have teased too much perhaps. Might as well end his fun before they can really reconnect. ...One small prank shouldn't hurt, right? Yeah, he should be fine. Mustering the most serious look he could muster, he cupped her face and forced her to look him in the eye.

"Loona, I have a room at a hotel up the road. Don't you want to wait until we get there?"

She stared him in the eye for a second before her eye twitched.

"You have a–? You are a fucking asshole." She growled and thumped his arm as he laughed. Clever girl. She figured him out so fast. "Making me think you weren't ready–What are you waiting for, a fucking invitation? Open a portal or something!"

"Well, not if you're going to be like th–" Suddenly, there was an enraged girlfriend holding his head and growling into his face. Okay, he definitely pushed his luck. His ears folded back as she forced a–No, this wasn't a Boop. This was just an angry and horny Hellhound in his face. He wasn't sure which of those he should be more worried about at the moment.

"I swear on everything evil that I will castrate you here and now, and then use your cock as a motherfucking toy while you bleed out in front of me if you don't fuck me in the next thirty seconds!"

With that kind of encouragement, how could he say no? His modified House Portal opened beneath them and they were deposited onto the bed that was in his rented room in town. She immediately started shucking her vest off. A familiar orange object clattered out to the nearby table and landed at an angle as she tossed the vest aside. He stared down at it for a second, the red light that shone up from beside the camera lens. How did–Was that–?

"Is that my phone?"

"Does it matter?" She asked as she pulled her top off. His brain capacity immediately dropped about forty– no, fifty percent.

Huh, wazzat mean? Oh, hey, Loona's boobs! He missed Loona's boobs. One of his claws snagged onto the piercing in her left nipple to tweak it and someone growled. Was it him or did she–? Oh, hi Loona's lips! I really missed you, soft sweet tasting lips. Mm...mwha–what is she doing with her claws near my jeans–?

"Fuck!" Naruto pulled away from the kiss with a sharp whine as his hardening dick was suddenly grabbed beneath his pants. He whimpered and writhed as his girlfriend's hand pulled up and jerked down. The other hand dug into his Spot and higher motor functions started to become difficult. Thankfully, the scratches on his Spot stopped as she claimed his lips once more. She tugged on his lip for a moment and then pecked his nose.

He was on the cusp of panting from the attention his girlfriend was giving him. Then she looked at him with those smouldering, angry, 'fuck with me and regret it' eyes that he saw in what few dreams he managed to have over the past month.

"You think you're so fucking cute? Teasing me? Edging me?" Her unoccupied sliced through his already ruined jeans and freed his member to the cool air of his hotel room. Uh, shit, he screwed up somewhere.

"No...Loon–" He whined as the hand that was jerking him off started to twist into the motion. Wait...Yes...Yes. Yep. He was panting. Shit, he'd officially lost control of the situation.

"No. You blew your chance at being in control by being bad. Bad boys don't get to be in control."

Loona confirmed his thoughts. Her tongue darted out to press against his panting one before she started kissing down his neck. Then her hand left his dick and she pulled away from his face. She rose to her hind paws and repositioned herself over him, so that her concealed snatch – hidden along with her juicy rump by that tantalizing to rip skirt – was over his face.

"Bad boys get punished. So I'm going to punish you."

As she descended on him, he knew that he definitely erred, but for the life of him, Naruto couldn't be bothered to figure out when or where.

A loud shrieking woke Bee up from the pre-party nap she was taking. It was one she was a bit overdue for. She growled and rolled over to grab her phone to see what was going on that was making her Gram blow up. If it wasn't worthwhile she was eating the damn thing – Tex could bitch all he wanted about the phone number replacements he entered, she paid for his damn phone via Verosika's new contract so he wouldn't have to fucking worry about it – and getting a new phone in the morning.

"Baby Bro is streaming…? Oh, no it's probably the Pretty Pup streaming something." She rubbed her eye with one hand while two of her others unlocked the phone. "Let's see wh–Oh. Oh. Fuck yes."

Her focus became wholly dedicated to the stream.

She licked her lips as she watched the Pretty Pup roll her hips around on some guy's face. Shame the skirt hid the good shit from view. She couldn't believe Pretty Pup was cheating on Baby Bro, though. She was pretty sure they had that funky mojo jojo stuff going on with their cute as shit 'Boops'.

"Fuck, yeah. Ung, yes...eat that cunt, bad boy. So fuckin' bad!"

Bee hummed in approval of the dirty talk as she started to tweak her tit with one hand and play with her pussy with another. Pretty Pup threw her head back in a way that flicked her hair and made her pierced tits – super hot, by the way, Baby Bro should've locked those down A-S-A-P; he was going to be so heartbroken when he saw this video – bounce so erotically. Her free hands messed with the phone a bit.

"Fuck," Bee said as she bit on her lip. "I'm sorry Baby Bro, but I gotta share this with Ozzie. It's too hot not to."

As soon as she did, Pretty Pup's hand latched onto a very nicely barbed, moderately large, deep red cock with a deflated knot at the base – it reminded Bee of the photo she had saved to her personal account, of a smaller but similarly designed teenage dick. The Prince of Gluttony thrust two fingers into her drenched lips and used another hand to simultaneously tease both of her tits. Her eyes drifted and she imagined herself in the Pretty Pup's place for a hot second. Grinding her pussy on this 'Bad Boy's face while she played with his cock and whined dirty things to him.

"Mm, yes." Bee cracked her eyes open to look at the screen when there was a loud thump on it. Oh, the Bad Boy got rebellious – she'd ensure he'd be punished for that; fuck this was hot. Bee was so into this kind of shit – and was now holding the Pretty Pup up against a wall on his shoulders. "Fuck."

"Fuck, oh, fuck! Yeah, babe! Yes!"

Huh, that's a sexy back...with orange and cream-marked fur. Pretty Pup clearly had a type. It wasn't a bad type either, Bee would totally rock Baby Bro's world if he ever asked. ...What? Bee and her Baby Bro weren't blood – she hated admitting that, hated it hated it hated it – but it was fucking Hell. Incest was the least disgusting thing that could happen behind closed doors.

The real trick would be getting Vortex to sign off on it as an okay 'pass'. His beef with her Baby Bro was something she just didn't fucking understand, but chalked it up to a male thing. Guys were just fucking dumb sometimes.

Still, to find another Hellhound who was scrawny-muscular enough to match her Baby Bro...with the same orange, red and gold locks in a thick mane...and a tail that whipped about like Cerberus' did when they got rand – Bee shot up and stopped playing with herself.

"Unholy fucking shit, is that Baby Bro!?"

A DM popped up over the video from Ozzie.

LordeofLust says Where the fuck are they?! Does Lucifer know he's out?! Also, who taught him cunnilingus because I want to give them a fucking medal! This is fucking beautiful! Furthermore, I need that girl's number. She needs to get her likeness protected before the weirdos come after her.

And if that didn't convince her she was watching a stream that wasn't supposed to be there, the next line did.

"Yes! Fuck! Narutooooo!"

"...Fuck." Bee breathed. She swiped the message away and watched with far more attention. Baby Bro lowered Pretty Pup down and gave her some TLC cooldown, but kept her legs over his shoulders. Whatever they said to each other was too low for the phone mic to pick up–Oh! Oh, shit.

Bee's mouth watered as she watched her Baby Bro's tight ass clench while his hips flexed. The Pretty Pup wrapped her arms around his neck and she rested her head to the shoulder, on the right of his face. Nips and whines escaped her as his ass clenched and unclenched with each thrust, as his large sack slapped into her ass. Her tail whapped into the wall over and over.

"Yes...Yes! Do it!" Pretty Pup whined and pulled back to kiss Baby Bro's face. He stopped thrusting for a moment and turned to lean against the wall – Yep, that was her Baby Bro – and fuck, both of their asses were firm as shit, Bee needed to get a handful of them somehow. Shit, he was thrusting again. Fuck, she had sight of his cock entering her and–Unholy fuck, what the fuck was that thing pressing into Pretty Pup? A cock ring?

"Yes! Fuck yes, knot me!" Pretty Pup urged as she cupped Baby Bro's face and mashed their lips together.

"What." Bee breathed. Baby Bro knotted? ...Fuck, that's right, he had a knot. Well, it was official she needed to lock in as their first threesome partner. Ugh, how would she convince Vortex to make that happen without suggesting a partner swap she was eighty-five certain Baby Bro would disagree to? ...Maybe he would understand if she just joined them–? No, wait, that's how she lost Cerberus. Shit...but that cock looked so fucking good. She wanted it.

"FU-U-U-U-UCK!" Pretty Pup whined as the mass pressed into her before it–Wow. She took it.

Baby Bro carried Pretty Pup back to the bed and turned – yes, great ass shot, Baby Bro, thank you – before he fell back onto it. Both he and Pretty Pup were liplocked as he helped her adjust her legs from where they were on his shoulders. Damn, she was flexible. Bee wanted to know how flexible.

Finally, they broke their kiss and Baby Bro's eyes closed as his head dropped back. Pretty Pup's glazed red eyes seemed to catch the camera. She looked right into it as if she knew it was there. She huffed and put her hands on Baby Bro's chest and sat up to gently rock her hips. Baby Bro growled and his hands roamed up her body to play with her cute pierced tits.

"Fuck. Fuck yes. Yeah, ride that cock, Pretty Pup." Bee urged as she rubbed herself. She glanced at the number of viewers – well, this definitely wasn't a private event; eight million and counting kind of nixed it from being such – and licked her lips. She released a tit and reached back to play with the ring of her asshole, but so good to tease. She toyed and touched herself as she watched her adopted brother fuck his girlfriend to a few micro-orgasms before his knot deflated and she climbed off.

They cuddled together in a sickeningly sweet way and kissed and fuck, Bee loved it. She wanted to fuck them both so fucking much, the vibes would be fucking delicious; Tex would have to be convinced to let her do this. She'd have to give him something in turn... maybe a pass with Verosika? He always kind of held a torch for her and she'd treat him right, or else.

For now, Bee just had to finish getting off. At least she had some prime material to use.

AN: Whoo...That was fun. Weird that it turned into a livestream though. Wonder what effects that will have on their life?

What's that, Steve? ...What about Sasuke? ...Dude, fuck Sasuke. This isn't his story.

Anyway, I got some shit to do that might keep me from a post tomorrow. Might. As in possibility of not happening.

Cool?

Cool.

Remember pervs, it's just fan fucking fiction!