Chapter 16: Betrayal, Sacrifice, and All That Jazz
As the Sue in white had predicted, Barad-dûr was swift to fall. Evidently, Sauron had left some type of mental instructions with the Nazgûl in case of an attack, for the wraiths had swooped down upon the combined army of Sues and Uruk-hai on their fell beasts, shrieking annoyingly. But Saruman had raised his staff and striven against their wills with his. Normally, Saruman wouldn't have stood a chance against all Nine at once – not that he ever would have admitted it – but they were visibly weakened without their Lord, and when the Sue in white lifted her hand and shot a blinding ray of unfiltered Sue Light at them, they had fallen from the black sky like zapped flies. The lesser orcs of Mordor had been utterly cowed by Saruman's Uruk-hai army and the defeat of their Nazgûl overlords, and the Sues quickly had them rounded up and under control.
"You have once again proved yourself a useful ally, Saruman," the Sue in white purred. She was currently lounging very comfortably on Sauron's throne in the heart of Barad-dûr, drinking a glass of dark purple wine. "Your spies reported that the dwarves have holed themselves up in the Lonely Mountain, so we shall strike there next and begin our conquest of the northern reaches of Middle-earth. The dwarves may prove slightly harder to rout than the men or the orcs, but I am not concerned. But just in case, I will send all my Sues northward under my lieutenant Fëanoria Ainulindalë Half-elven, and you shall lead your army as backup should the dwarves resist." She waved a hand at the open bottle of wine. "Do help yourself. You've earned a reward, I should think, my little character."
Saruman bowed his head and accepted a glass. "Thank you, my lady." He took a delicate sip and raised an eyebrow. Sauron was going to be displeased to come back and find his best wine broken into. With that pleasant thought, the wizard took a longer sip. "Will you not be joining us up north, my lady?"
"No," the Sue in white answered coolly. "There is another urgent matter that I feel calling my name. I do not expect the rest of the peoples of Middle-earth to put up any significant resistance, and I am sure you and Fëanoria will be able to take care of any problems that present themselves."
"What of the agents from KI?" Saruman asked, equally cool.
The Sue laughed. "Those fools are probably still running around trying to get their systems back up. By the time they are able to get here, I will have the Pen and they will no longer stand a chance." She ran her finger around the rim of her goblet. "Not that they truly stood a chance to begin with, but still. Those whom I decide to spare will become a part of my loyal court of Sues. And those whom I don't…well." Her eyes glittered evilly.
Saruman lowered his eyes, not meeting her haughty gaze, as he downed the rest of the wine in his glass. When he looked up, he smiled demurely. "I will do my best to make sure Middle-earth is ready for its new Queen by the time you get back," he responded, his deep voice eloquent and full of charm.
The Sue smiled back. "I expect nothing less." She considered her half-full goblet for a moment then casually poured the rest over Sauron's throne, leaving a sticky dark mess. "Now I must be going. I believe that I have visitors to greet, and I do want to make sure they feel very, very welcome."
Saruman remained standing with his goblet before the sullied throne, long after the Sue's laughter had faded from the hall.
~o~o~o~
Legolas kept hearing voices.
It was worse even than it had been in the Mines of Moriah. They were faint, just at the edge of even his keen elven hearing, and he couldn't make out more than an isolated word here or there. However, they seemed to be calling to him, luring him into the soaring halls and chambers of Isinguard all around him as the Fellowship passed swiftly through.
Interestingly, Isinguard seemed more solid – more real – than most of the rest of the Sue world. It didn't have that uncanny flimsiness of the rest of Middle Earth, nor that disconcerting feeling that the world filled up when he looked at it and faded away when he didn't. But at the same time, Legolas could automatically sense that this place was more full of Sue magic than anywhere else they had yet stepped foot.
It was also disconcertingly quiet, like a night watch in Mirkwood before one of the great northern storms blew down over the forest. They had encountered no living beings since the Sauron!Sue at the gate, but Legolas wasn't going to let himself believe it would be this easy. Even if Sues didn't tend to be the brightest creatures, he was certain they were not going to allow the Fellowship to destroy the Pen without some sort of confrontation.
Automatically, his fingers strayed into his belt pouch and stroked the smooth surface of the Pen, and he relaxed without thinking. More and more over the last several days, the Pen was the only thing that could soothe his worsening nerves. He craved the touch of it, a need unlike anything else he'd ever known.
Within the next few hours, if everything went according to plan, the Pen would be destroyed.
The thought knotted Legolas's stomach, and an instant flare of guilt shot through him. The whole point of the Quest was to destroy the Pen, and yet, now that they were so close, his thoughts were racing. Were they really doing the right thing by destroying it? The Sue-Slayers had decided that the Pen needed to be destroyed, but they hadn't even asked the characters, the ones most affected by it. Legolas's thoughts were bombarded by all the ways he could use the Pen for the good of Middle-earth. With the Pen, he could save Boromir's life. He could ease Frodo's suffering. He could divert the battles of Helm's Deep and Pelennor Fields, saving so many lives. And yes, even if he gave himself one or two extra cool abilities while he was at it, who could really blame him? Heck, with the Pen, he could even rewrite the One Ring itself to make it so that it had never existed to torment his world to begin with and Middle-earth knew nothing but peace.
Was destroying the Pen really for the best? What was so special and sacred about the Canon anyway?
"How are you holding up?"
Legolas was jolted from his spiraling thoughts by Faramir and Eówyn coming alongside him. The Gondorian Ranger to his left and the Roherric Shieldmaiden to his right both looked at him with concern, as if they guessed some of the thoughts racing through his head. He slipped his fingers out of his pouch, feeling suddenly guilty and ashamed.
"As well as can be expected," he answered Faramir's question. "Something about this place just doesn't feel right though."
"I know what you mean," Faramir answered. "We were just talking about it." He nodded to Eówyn. "You'd think if this is the one place the Pen can be destroyed that the Sues would be guarding it a little more closely."
"Where are all the Sues?" Eówyn chimed in. "We haven't seen anyone for at least an hour."
This thought had also occurred to Legolas. Even with their encounters with Sues like Nightshade Moriel and Drufa Flamebrand, they'd been oddly lucky. For a Sue world, there were not as many Sues, especially here in Isinguard, as he'd been expecting. Which meant that the Sues were probably somewhere else, and he could guess where.
"I just hope everyone at home in Middle-earth is all right," he murmured.
Eówyn put a hand on his shoulder. "All we have to do right now is focus on destroying the Pen. And we'll have your back while you do it."
Legolas opened his mouth then closed it. There didn't seem to be words in either Westron or Sindarin for his gratitude for his friends, but neither were there words for the creeping feelings of guilt. Was he the only one having doubts about whether the Pen should be destroyed to begin with?
His thoughts were diverted as they entered a new hall. They'd been climbing upwards for a good hour, led by Hawk, passing up winding staircases and through chamber after chamber, ranging in style from everything from a Medieval cathedral to a Regency palace to an elven castle and beyond. It was truly the mish-mash described in Eledhil's journal, a quilt of a building patched together haphazardly.
This new chamber was something different however. It appeared to be some type of study. Shelves filled with books and scrolls lined the walls, and there was a gigantic wooden writing desk littered with quill pens and parchments on the far side underneath a massive arched window. There was a closed wooden door to the left, between two towering shelves.
Faramir went to the window and looked out. "We've come a long way up," he said.
Hawk nodded. "We're probably getting to the parts of the tower that were the original Suethor's private quarters." Her lips tightened grimly. "We're probably nearing the Hearth. We should keep-"
Legolas looked over at the Sue-Slayer as her words were cut off mid-sentence. She was staring at the shelf nearest to her, on which rested what looked like small rectangular pieces of paper. She picked them up, staring at them with a strange, distant expression that Legolas had never seen on the Sue-Slayer's face before. Legolas was about to ask her what she had found, when suddenly everyone was distracted by a loud crash.
Everyone spun around, looking towards the back of the room where they'd entered moments ago. Porter had collapsed, bringing down a shelf filled with tomes and scrolls and several knick-knacks with him.
Hawk was at her fellow Sue-Slayer's side in an instant as the other characters and Aura gathered around in concern. "Porter?" she said frantically, lifting up his head. "Porter, can you hear me?"
Porter was shivering uncontrollably, as if he'd been seized by a violent fever. His eyes were barely open and his lips moved brokenly. "Hawk," he croaked.
Hawk fumbled for his hand and squeezed it tightly. "I'm here, Porter," she said.
Porter seemed to convulse and his eyes rolled back. "I seekest the light," he mumbled. "Canst thou tellest me where it might be foundeth?"
Aura put a hand on Hawk's shoulder. "It's happening," she said in a low voice. "The poison has reached his heart."
"No!" Hawk gripped Porter's hand even more tightly, clutching it to her chest. "You're not going to do this to me, Porter. Come on, fight it!"
"What's going to happen to him?" Merry asked in a subdued voice.
Aura looked sad. "He is transforming fully into a Gary Stu. Once the poison has reached his heart, there is no way to reverse it. Not that I know of, anyway."
"If the Pen is destroyed, will that heal him?" Legolas asked.
"We have no way to know." Hawk's voice was tight and shaky. "But right now, that's the only hope he has." She stood, her shoulders tense and straight, and looked back at the rest of the Fellowship grouped around her. "We have to find the Hearth, and we have to destroy the Pen. It's near, I know it is." She looked at Sauron, standing as usual at the back of the group. "Sauron, you're the strongest. Carry him."
For once, the Dark Lord neither made a sarcastic remark nor complained that it was beneath his dignity. He scooped Porter up into his arms almost gently, as if the Sue-Slayer weighed no more than a handful of feathers.
"Legolas, can you tell if we're close?" Hawk asked.
Legolas closed his eyes, letting himself sink for a second into the murmur of voices all around him and the growing call of the Pen. "Yes," he said, "yes, we're very close."
"Let's finish this then," Hawk growled. "Let's finish that Udûn-cursed Pen once and for all."
Hawk led them all through the wooden door into what appeared to be an elaborate sitting room, filled with lush settees and sofas. They passed through quickly into the chamber beyond.
It was another sitting room, but much larger and grander, and it appeared to be part of the original tower of Isinguard, rather than one of the patched-on extensions. The whole room was made of black stone, and a huge window dominated the left hand side of the room. Distant sounds of waves crashing on the shore could be heard from far, far below.
But all their gazes were drawn to the far side of the room and the gigantic, blazing fireplace set deep into the black wall.
They had reached the Hearth of Doom.
Legolas's heart was pounding. A part of him had doubted since the beginning of the Quest whether they would ever make it to this place and this moment. Perhaps even a small part of him had wished they wouldn't. But now they were here and the completion of the Quest rested on one small movement from him.
He took the Pen out of his pouch.
The pseudo-elvish swirled to life on its surface in response to his fingers closing around it. He could feel its pull inside his head, its promises and its allure.
He hesitated. If he destroyed the Pen, they all would return to Middle-earth and the Story would be able to play out the way it had been destined to do. But if he didn't destroy the Pen, if in this moment he kept it and claimed it for his own, he could be a Hero for all of Middle-earth.
He turned and looked at the rest of the Fellowship behind him. There, he was faced with a mixture of hope, relief, weariness, and lingering fear. He looked at Porter's limp form, looking unnaturally frail in Sauron's arms. He met Hawk's eyes. The Sue-Slayer's face was intense, her dark eyes boring into his, but to his surprise, there was a plea in her expression that he'd never thought to see on the tough KI agent's face. His will wavered.
He turned back to the Hearth slowly, his fingers shaking.
The Pen could alter the entire fate of Middle-earth and the Story. It could make him the hero he'd dreamed of being. But as long as the Pen survived, the other characters would never cease to be in danger. The power of the Sues would continue to grow, fed by the fact that he'd become the very thing he'd sought to fight against.
The Pen had been granted to him with the trust that he would resist its power when the time came. Every character in Middle-earth and beyond was counting on him.
He felt as if he were wading through thick mud as he approached the Hearth of Doom. Perhaps the Pen sensed it was losing its grip on him, for some inner force resisted him with every step he took. The Pen shook in his hand.
He stopped right before the Hearth. The heat of it glowed fiercely against his face as he gazed into its fiery depths.
And in that moment, staring into the licking flames of the Hearth where the Pen had been forged, he knew the power of the Pen wasn't what he wanted, not for him, not for his friends, and not for his world. His Story had been written just the way it needed to be already, and he'd already had far more of a taste at being the hero than he'd need for the rest of his life.
He took a deep breath and then with all the combined strength of his will, he cast the Pen into the fire.
~o~o~o~
Reinforcements arrived from KI as soon as T'Var sent in an urgent call, letting the Hub know about the dire situation in Middle-earth. Currently, the contingent of KI agents – under Pixie, Dena, and Figlock – were stationed at Rivendell, while assigned agents were sent to reconnoiter and find out what state the rest of the world was in. Elrond had graciously invited the Sue-Slayers to use his council chambers as their headquarters while they planned out their next move.
"Initial reports are showing that Minas Tirith and Barad-dûr have been conquered and the Sue army is gathering north of the Black Gate in Dagorlad," Dena said, pointing to a map of Middle-earth laid out on a table in the center of the council chambers. "That means they've conquered everything south of the Misty Mountains."
Pixie leaned over the map, pinching her chin thoughtfully. "If they've gathered north o' Mordor, that's a straight shot to th' Lonely Mountain from there. I'd bet a hundred galleons that Erebor is where they strike next."
From beside Dena, T'Var frowned. "That seems to be a logical deduction, but it is possible that is what they want us to think," the Vulcan agent commented. "They could easily divert west and come up through Enedwaith to strike at Rivendell first in an attempt to surprise us."
Pixie was already shaking her head. "As far as we ken, they're nae aware yet that our reinforcements were able t' arrive. Attackin' Rivendell first would catch 'em between th' remaining strongholds o' th' characters, wi' Hobbiton t' th' west an' th' Carrock an' Erebor t' th' east. Th' dwarves are th' next strongest point o' resistance, so I think they'll attack there first."
From beside T'Var, Iso was nodding. "Based on their known actions up until this point, I calculate a 92.3% chance that Erebor will be their next target," the android confirmed.
There was a knock on the chamber door. The next moment, Erestor poked his head in, looking slightly apologetic. "Excuse me, Slayers, but you're needed at the main entrance. Your agents have apprehended a spy."
Pixie immediately leapt to her feet. "A spy, ye say! Let's see what th' slimeball has t' say for him or herself."
The five agents hurried to the main entrance of Rivendell, where they found a group of Sue-Slayers standing in a ring around a rather sullen-looking Gríma Wormtongue. Pixie marched straight up to the traitorous ex-councilor. "You! I shoulda known that slimy gutless worm o' a wizard would be stickin' his nose where it's nae wanted. Where's that gaudy, scraggly-bearded traitor ye serve, eh? I'd talk if I were you or I'll knock your crooked teeth out one by one."
Wormtongue cringed and held up his hands placatingly. "I'm not looking for any trouble, I swear. My lord Saruman sent me, not to spy, but to speak with you. He wants to arrange a meeting between himself and you agents."
Pixie and Dena exchanged a suspicious look. "An' what reason would Saruman have t' talk t' us?" Pixie snarled. "An' even if he did have a reason, why'd we want t' talk wi' someone who fraternizes wi' Sues an' betrays their own?"
"I don't know the details," Wormtongue said, a little crossly. "Do you think Saruman tells me details? He just said he needs to speak with you and it's urgent." He lowered his voice, as if someone might overhear. "He didn't say anything to me, but I'm sure it has something to do with the Sues. He seemed…flustered, but that's just my opinion."
Dena stepped in. "And if we did agree to meet him, what would that entail?"
Wormtongue's eyes darted shiftily between them. "He said he'd meet your agents at Amon Hen. He'll be alone."
"Sure he will," Pixie snorted.
Wormtongue shot her an annoyed glance. "He'll meet with you and share his valuable information, but in turn he wants to be excused for the little part he played in the Sues' takeover."
"Little part! Little part!" Pixie was just about foaming at the mouth. "He got my partner Stu-ified an' threw us in a dungeon! Maybe I'll go just t' slice off his stupid pointy nose an' see if he thinks that's just a 'little part'."
Dena grabbed the witch by the arm and pulled her back as if looked like she might tear Wormtongue's throat out with her bare teeth. "Come on, Pixie," she said. "Let's go over here away from him and discuss what he has to say." Figlock hopped onto her shoulder as the three of them retreated away from the other Slayers.
Pixie was still fuming. "Does that bloody wizard really think he can play us like a fiddle? Turn traitor an' then turn back whenever he pleases? I'll curse his beard to fall out, th' eejit. I'll curse his pretty rainbow robes to have stains that'll never come out. I'll-"
"Look, I know you're still mad at him over Thor," Dena said. "I am too. But we have to consider the possibility that he has information that we need to win this fight and keep the Sues from overwhelming Middle-earth."
"I agree," Figlock chimed in. "Doesn't mean that we have to trust him, matey, just see what he's offering."
Pixie huffed through her nose. "All right, but if I get th' chance t' punch him in th' nose, I'm takin' it."
They returned to the gate, where the other KI agents and Wormtongue were still waiting. "We'll meet with your master," Dena said, "but you will have to remain here. Now that you know where our headquarters are and how many of us there are, we can't have you traipsing back around Middle-earth in case Saruman is trying to double-cross us."
Wormtongue shrugged, not seeming overly concerned. "Saruman guessed as much. He'll be at Amon Hen until midnight tonight if you choose to meet him."
Leaving T'Var and Iso in charge back at Rivendell, Pixie, Dena, and Figlock activated their Sue medallions to Jump to Amon Hen. Moments later, a portal opened up on the Hill of Sight overlooking the Anduin. The distant roar of Rauros filled the evening air.
Saruman looked up from where he'd been leaning on his staff as the portal closed with a whoosh of displaced air and the three Sue-Slayers stepped onto the grassy hill. "Greetings," he called out to them. "I am most glad to see you chose to come treat with me."
"Ye've got three minutes t' explain yourself, traitor," Pixie snarled. "Elsewise, I'll make darned sure ye aren't glad we chose t' come."
Saruman seemed unruffled by the Sue-Slayer's threat. "I know my prior actions have not ingratiated me in your eyes," he said smoothly. "However, I have had a change of heart. The leader of the Sues is dangerous and unpredictable, and I do not think her rule will benefit me or Middle-earth as I once thought. She cares nothing for us characters, and I am beginning to think she is driven more for hatred of you agents than for love of this world. I have never been fond of any of you and your meddling in Middle-earth, but I have seen a glimpse of what my world would be like under the Sue's rule and I do not find myself liking it any better. As such, I am willing to aid you in stopping her."
Pixie muttered something rude under her breath, but Dena put a hand on her shoulder. "What are you proposing?" she asked.
Saruman smiled thinly. "Tonight, the Sue army is going to march north to Erebor. Their Queen is currently away, gone from this world, but her lieutenant has orders to take Erebor as swiftly as possible, then to sweep west to the Carrock, Rivendell, and Hobbiton. My army of Uruk-hai will be marching with them." His dark eyes glittered beneath his brow. "However, what if the Sue army never made it to Erebor?"
Dena frowned. "How?"
"The Sues will march past the borders of Mirkwood on their way to Erebor," Saruman continued. "They have easily conquered Rohan, Gondor, and Mordor, and I do not think at this point that they will expect resistance. The Queen Sue does not know that any of you agents have managed to enter Middle-earth. If you concealed yourselves in the borders of Mirkwood, you could easily ambush the Sues army as they pass. If you attack from the front, my Uruk-hai army can assail them from the back, catching them in a pincer and annihilating them before they know what struck them."
The three Sue-Slayers looked at each other. "It sounds like a plan that might just work," Figlock said with a flick of his tail.
Pixie still looked sullen. "I still don't like this, an' I don't trust Saruman."
Dena frowned thoughtfully. "Maybe it's my old Sue senses, but I think he's telling the truth. He's worried, though he's hiding it well. And this could be our only chance. The odds are against us, and we need all the help we can get."
Saruman had been watching them with his keen, glittering gaze. "I have something else that may sweeten the deal, as you Slayers like to say, I believe." He produced a vial of some shiny silver liquid from his voluminous sleeve. "Without the Queen's knowledge, I have been studying the powers of the Sues, and I have made rudimentary progress on a potion that would counteract the effects of their magic. I have yet to test it, but it may be possible to reverse the magic that transformed your agents and the characters into Stus and Sues."
Pixie's eyes were suddenly fixed unblinking on the silver potion. "Ye can heal Thor?"
Saruman smiled once again. "As I said, I have not tested it, but I believe I will be capable of countering the Sues' magic with a little deeper study."
Pixie looked torn between suspicion and hope. Finally, she scowled once again. "An' just what are ye gettin' out o' all o' this?"
Saruman held out his arms in a gesture of benevolent grace. "As I said, I do not believe that this Sue is who she at first claimed to be or that she will keep her promises of power to me. Overthrowing her will rid me of someone who has proved to be a double-edged sword. From you, I ask only for pardon in my role of helping the Sue's rise to power and protection from the other characters who may not exactly be pleased with me."
Once again, the three Sue-Slayers conferred with intense whispers, while Saruman watched them keenly. Finally, Dena broke away from the others and approached the wizard. "We'll take your deal," she said. "We'll be in place by Mirkwood at nightfall."
~o~o~o~
As Dena had said, by the time the sun set behind the Misty Mountains, the contingent of KI agents were hidden underneath the thick brush at the edge of Mirkwood's southern border. Figlock was up in one of the trees, keeping lookout for the approaching Sue army.
Of course, any regular army of humans never would have been able to make it from Dagorlad all the way to the borders of Mirkwood in the span of a few hours, but Sues had the power to cover great distances with inhuman speed as well as bend and shrink space. However, Saruman had given them no indication as to when the Sues would be passing by, making for a long and anxious night for the Slayers.
Pixie and Dena hunkered down under the bushes at the very edge of the forest, camouflaged with their KI uniforms and elven cloaks given to them by Galadriel before they'd left Rivendell. It was overcast, but occasionally a small slice of moonlight cut through the clouds to illuminate patches of the open ground where soon a battle would be taking place, if everything went according to plan.
Pixie pulled out a little charm that she wore around her neck and rubbed her fingers over it. It was a little pendant of Mjolnir, Thor's hammer, a Viking symbol of good luck that Thor had given her for their second anniversary. At a time like this, Thor would have been in his element, probably chowing down on hunks of meat and raising everyone's spirits with his good nature and infectious excitement for battle. Stupid lunk, Pixie thought fondly. She blinked back a tear threatening to fall.
Dena squatted nimbly a few feet away, running her fingers over the hilt of her Suesaber. Pixie watched her for a few minutes then shivered and drew her elven cloak tighter about her shoulders against the chill settling around them in the air. "What time is it?" she asked.
Dena checked her Sue medallion. "Close to midnight," she answered.
Pixie grunted. "They could do us a favor an' hurry up," she grumbled. "If they show up at all."
"They will," Dena responded quietly.
Pixie glanced at her. "Ye really believe that Saruman was tellin' the truth?"
Dena nodded. "I can use the Force a little bit, but I stopped doing it much after I renounced being a Sue. I may have probed Saruman's mind a little during the meeting earlier though. His mind is strong and I couldn't pick up much, but I didn't sense any deception from him. Whatever he was telling us, he believed it to be true."
Pixie swallowed, hesitating before she asked her next question. "An'…an' what he said about fixing Thor…was that true too?"
Dena looked at Pixie, her face soft. "Yes, it was the same. He believed what he was telling us."
Pixie heaved a deep sigh. "Did Thor ever tell ye how he an' I met?" She chuckled, letting the memory bubble to the surface of her mind. "Th' big galoot had been visitin' his family back in th' 11th century for his sister's wedding an' had had a little too much mead. He was in th' Minor Fantasy Department's common room, causin' an absolute ruckus. Nothin' serious mind ye, but me 'n' my roommate at th' time had had a long day chasin' Sues an' we had the dorm closest t' th' common room. I got so tired o' listenin' t' him bellowin' Norse drinkin' songs that I marched out there an' told him to shut his big hairy face. He called me a cute little pipsqueak at the top o' his lungs, so I hit him square in th' face wi' a black eye spell. He told me later that was th' exact moment he fell in love wi' me." She sighed again, a little dreamily, but then a shadow crept across her face again. "It shoulda been me that got Sue-ified, not him."
Dena took her hand and squeezed it. "We'll get him back yet."
Pixie looked awkward then sighed again. "I'm…I'm sorry I judged ye wrongly, Dena. It just always annoyed me so much how ye were good at everythin' without ever tryin'. I thought ye did it just to show off an' figured ye were a stuck up prissy, being a Sue an' all. I did nae think a Sue could ever be a proper member of KI." She offered the togruta a small smile. "But ye're nae so bad."
Dena smiled. "You're not too bad yourself."
At that moment, there was a rustle in the trees above them and Figlock dropped down. "Sues in sight," he said, straightening his hat. "They just appeared over the ridge to the south. I reckon they'll be here within an hour."
Everybody had been briefed back at Rivendell, and now the agents moved quickly and silently into place. If everything went according to plan, Saruman's Uruk-hai army would be following behind the Sues. Uglúk would give a pre-determined fire signal and the uruks would begin attacking the Sues from the back. At that time, the Sue-Slayers would sweep in from the front, catching the Sues neatly between the two armies.
Soon the Sues were in sight. Many of them glowed with ethereal light, while others carried sundry magical weapons, many of which shone with fire or Sue light. As Saruman had said, they did not seem to be afraid of any sort of attack.
They began to pass by Mirkwood, silk sleeves flowing in a non-existent breeze, and their luscious hair with colors like obsidian, spun gold, or liquid fire swirled majestically about them. A wide trail of flowers sprung up in their wake, and their feet were so light they barely seemed to touch the grass. A smell of floral perfume wafted in their wake, and nightingales flitted about them, trilling beautifully.
Not long after the Sues began to pass, firelight from the torches carried by the Uruk-hai could be glimpsed coming behind them. Pixie watched keenly, waiting for the signal.
She was beginning to fear that something was wrong, when she saw the signal. A single fire arrow was launched straight up into the sky, leaving a trail of sparks behind it. "There it is!" Pixie loud-whispered to the surrounding agents. "Everyone prepare yourself!"
Suddenly, the sound of combat arose from the back of the Sue army. The Uruk-hai had engaged their foe.
"Now!" Pixie yelled.
The Sue-Slayers burst from the cover of Mirkwood, charging the unsuspecting Sues. Dena's Suesaber hummed and whirred as it glowed to life. T'Var and Iso to Pixie's left had their Sue phasers out and Pixie was confident they weren't set to stun. Figlock launched himself out of the trees, tail sailing behind him and his crossbow tucked beneath his arm. Pixie raised her own crossbow that she'd borrowed from one of the other agents to replace her lost wand, loading a quarrel dripping with liquid logic into it.
The next moment, the Sue-Slayers crashed into the Sue army.
Chaos reigned around Pixie. Her first few quarrels found their homes in Sue hearts, causing their owners to crumple into dust and paper. Then, as she and the line of KI agents crashed into the Sues, she swung her crossbow around to her back and drew a silvery sword forged from proofing steel, which cut through the Sues like butter. Somewhere to her right, she could hear Dena's Suesaber humming as the togruta fought with fluid grace.
However, the Sues soon recovered, more quickly than Pixie would have liked. The Sues began to press back, throwing all their exotic weaponry and magic powers against their assailants. The moon slid out from the clouds, casting silver light over the battlefield and seeming to strengthen the Sues.
It was hard to tell how long had passed, but the Sue-Slayers were slowly gaining ground, though not without losses. The Sues were stronger than any Pixie had encountered before and they were not about to give up. From the far side of the battlefield however, Pixie could hear the Uruk-hai battle cries, suggesting that Saruman had actually followed through with his part of the plan.
Pixie wasn't exactly sure when she realized that something was wrong. The line of Sue-Slayers was still gaining ground, and Pixie happened to glance back towards the forest to gauge how much ground they'd won. That was when she saw figures emerging from around the south side of the forest, convening on the battling armies. For a moment, she thought they were more KI agents coming as reinforcements, but then she saw the unearthly moonlit glow that clung to them like silken dresses. It was more Sues, and they were about to cut the Slayers off from their retreat.
"Dena!" Pixie shouted, trying to get her fellow Slayer's attention. But it was too late.
The second wave of Sues hit the Slayers from behind, catching them in a pincer just as the Slayers had attempted to do. Before most of the Slayers even knew what had happened, they were surrounded.
Another wave of Sues swept around to the south, trapping the Uruk-hai army in the same maneuver.
Pixie turned to fight off the new Sues, but it was no use. As soon as the first Sue army realized that the Slayers were trapped, they pressed their advantage, regaining the ground they had lost. The Slayers began to fall, caught between the two pressing waves of enemies.
Desperation surged through Pixie and she fought like a tiger, her sword slicing and hewing, but for every Sue she took down, another sprung up in her place. Where in the world had that second group of Sues come from? Saruman had said nothing about there being two armies.
Finally, the KI agents were reduced to a small knot fighting desperately against the pressing horde of surrounding Sues. Many of the agents had been transformed into Stus or Sues themselves and were now fighting against their own. Pixie found herself back-to-back with Dena, fighting against a hopeless tide.
Suddenly, as if by a wordless command, the Sues stopped attacking. Pixie remained on guard, her sword shaking in her hands and her breath rattling in her chest, as she waited for what was coming. The ranks of the Sues parted and a single Sue stepped forward.
She was an elf Sue, tall and gorgeous (of course) with ridiculously voluminous black hair braided and beaded elaborately with gold. She was wearing a full face of anachronistic make-up, with glittery gold eyeliner and black and gold lipstick, and she was clad in skimpy scale mail armor that made most female video game avatars look well dressed. She carried a huge double-handed sword that looked almost as big as she was. She strutted to the front of the Sues and addressed the pathetic remnant of Sue-Slayers haughtily.
"You are outnumbered and defeated. Surrender now and the rest of you will be spared at the Queen's mercy."
Rage filled Pixie, all the hotter for how helpless she felt. She looked at Dena, who slowly shook her head, her message clear: There's nothing else we can do. We've lost.
"No," Pixie choked, tears of pure fury clouding her eyes. "No, it can't end this way."
Already, most of the remaining Sue-Slayers had laid down their weapons. Only Figlock, Pixie, and Dena remained, and everyone was looking at them.
Figlock shot them a mournful look, his tail drooping, and laid down his crossbow.
For a moment longer, Pixie and Dena clutched their weapons, but with one more exchanged look, they slowly dropped their blades to the ground.
The smug look of satisfaction on the Sue lieutenant's face made Pixie want to scream but there was nothing she could do. She stood, staring down at her boots as the Sue called out again. "Bind those who remain and take them prisoner. We make camp here and tomorrow will finish the march to the Lonely Mountain."
Sues surrounded them, binding the hands of those who remained standing. The Sue lieutenant gave another sharp command, and Pixie, Dena, and Figlock found themselves being dragged away towards the south end of Mirkwood from whence the second wave of Sues had come.
Here, they were flung down into the grass and tied to stakes driven into the ground to keep them from escaping. After that, the Sues seemed to largely ignore them as they went about setting up their camp all around them.
Pixie crawled as far as her bonds would allow her. "Dena, Figlock, are ye all right?"
"For now." Dena shook her head. "We were ambushed, Pixie. Somehow, they knew we were going to attack, and they did to us exactly what we'd planned to do to them."
Pixie bared her teeth in a ferocious snarl. "I knew we could nae trust that snivelin', slimy, pointy-nosed wizard. He betrayed us."
"Not quite." An evil laugh sounded from the darkness, and the Sue lieutenant, Fëanoria Ainulindalë Half-elven, stepped into the ring of prisoners. She flung a new figure amongst them, also bound. Multi-colored robes glimmered in the moonlight.
"Saruman?" Pixie and Dena both exclaimed in shock.
"My mistress, the Queen, suspected that Saruman would attempt a double-cross," Fëanoria said, her black lips twisting into a self-satisfied smile. "Once a traitor, always a traitor, or something like that, as they say. That being the case, we were aware of his little tryst with you Slayers earlier today, and we made our own plans unbeknownst to him."
"What are you going to do with us?" Dena asked, sounding exhausted and defeated.
Fëanoria curled her lip scornfully. "You and the surviving agents of KI will be escorted back to Isengard, where you will be returning to your dungeon cell." She aimed a kick at the rainbow-robed figure of Saruman lying prone on the ground between them, apparently unconscious. "And he'll be joining you this time. The Queen does not take kindly to betrayal." She smiled. "In the meantime, the conquest of northern Middle-earth will continue as planned, and when the Queen returns with the Pen, all will be ready for her great and glorious new rule."
~o~o~o~
Legolas wasn't sure what he had expected would happen when the Pen finally was thrown into the Hearth of Doom. Would it melt? Explode in a magical burst of light? Simply disappear? What he hadn't expected was for absolutely nothing to happen.
The Pen sat there in the blazing coals at the center of the Hearth, completely normal and very much Not Destroyed.
Legolas heard several people shifting uncomfortably behind him, but he kept his eyes fixed on the Pen. Maybe it would take a minute or two?
"I thought it was supposed to be destroyed?" he heard Pippin say from behind him.
Legolas narrowed his eyes and stared even harder at the Pen, as if his keen elven eyesight would somehow make the cursed object finally combust.
"Hawk, something's wrong." That was Eówyn, her voice tense. "Why isn't it working?"
Finally, Legolas turned around. Everyone was looking at Hawk, their expressions ranging from confused to frightened.
Hawk was standing stock still, as if frozen in place. For the first time that Legolas had ever seen her, he saw both doubt and fear glinting in her dark eyes. Finally, she seemed to snap out of her trance and looked around at the characters. "I don't know," she said weakly and her voice broke. "Find the Hearth of Doom and cast the Pen in: that's all I was told. There were no more instructions."
"Well, what are we going to do then?" Eówyn demanded, her voice going sharp with stress.
Before anyone could answer Eówyn's question however, the air in the room suddenly Bent. It shimmered, pulling thinner and thinner and thinner until it snapped back. And with that, a tall Sue dressed all in white stepped into the middle of the room. She surveyed them all with an arrogant flash of her blue eyes, and her perfect cherry lips twisted up into a smirk.
"Well, well, it looks like I'm just in time," she purred. "I would comment on how it is rude to break into someone else's castle, but since you all were both expected and wanted, I suppose that makes you my guests." She laughed, a sound like rippling water that was oddly pleasant but also intimidating somehow at the same time.
Eówyn and Faramir both drew their swords and Gimli hefted his axe. The Sue barely gave them a glance as her eyes swept over the Fellowship. At last they came to rest on one member of the Fellowship in particular.
"Well met again, Amoriel Aura Gilthoniel," the Sue said with a little gracious wave of her hand. "You've done your job most admirably in bringing this silly little Fellowship to me."
Eight sets of eyes turned to Aura, a combination of hurt, anger, and betrayal shining in each one. "You betrayed us?" Pippin asked, his voice so innocent and hurt that it almost brought tears to Legolas's eyes.
Now it was Aura who seemed frozen in place, staring at the Sue. She refused to meet the eyes of the rest of the Fellowship. "I-" she started to say, but Hawk cut her off, her voice bitter and sharp.
"I don't want to hear your excuses," she snarled. "I don't care why you did it." She shook her head in disgust. "It's my fault after all. I knew I never should have trusted a Sue." She spat the word, her voice more full of venom than Shelob's stinger.
Aura's lips parted briefly, but then pain flickered across her face and she lowered her gaze once again, still seeming a little shell shocked herself.
The Sue stepped towards the Hearth and looked down. In the embers, the Pen still glimmered with its pseudo-elvish runes. "I see you have already discovered what Eledhil and I discovered two thousand years ago, when we came and cast the Pen into this same Hearth. Did Eledhil forget to mention that little detail in his silly little journal before he threw himself out that window into the sea?" Her eyes glittered maliciously. "How inconvenient of him."
Hawk's eyes had gone wide. "You and Eledhil…" She stared at the Sue, as if not believing her eyes. "You're Orinthia," she said, understanding dawning in her voice.
The Sue's lips twisted scornfully at the name. "So they do still teach history at our darling University. Yes, once I was a Sue-Slayer just like you, one of the greatest to ever have been trained at KANON Institution. Eledhil and I killed more Sues than you could probably dream of in a lifetime. And what did it get me? Nothing but Eledhil's shadow."
"Oh, we remember you all right," Hawk spat. "You betrayed everything that KI stands for. You betrayed your own President and partner."
Orinthia turned her eyes to Hawk again. "And what about you, Hawk Sue-Slayer?" she mocked. "You couldn't keep your partner safe even when you tried."
She snapped her fingers. In Sauron's arms, Porter stirred for the first time since he'd collapsed. "Yes, it appears he is very nearly a Stu," Orinthia said in a pleased voice. "He'll do well as one of my personal servants."
Hawk's crossbow came up in the blink of an eye. "You touch him and I'll put three quarrels through your foul heart before you can say 'traitor'," Hawk bellowed, rage consuming her voice.
Orinthia seemed entirely unconcerned. "Oh, don't worry, Hawk. Once I've turned you into a Sue as well, I'll find you a position in my court where you can see him every now and then. I suppose you deserve that much for helping bring my Pen all the way here to me so nicely."
Hawk fired her crossbow. Orinthia bent over, so nimble and swift that even Legolas could hardly follow her movement. Without seeming to even strain herself, she caught the quarrel in her hand and snapped it contemptuously.
"I see we will not be doing things the easy way," Orinthia said coolly. "Very well." She snapped her fingers. "Porter, come to me."
Sauron released the Sue-Slayer as he suddenly began to struggle violently in the Dark Lord's grasp. His hair was blonder and noticeably thicker than it had been before, and his eyes, when he opened them, were the unearthly jewel-blue of a Stu. Obediently, he walked to Orinthia's side. She ran her perfectly trimmed and glazed fingernails down his cheek as he stopped beside her. "As you can see, dear Porter is now bound to my command as Queen of the Sues. If I tell him to kill one of you, he will. If I tell him to follow in Eledhil's footsteps and jump out that window, he will. Hopefully, that clears a few things up."
Hawk visibly struggled for several seconds then slowly lowered her crossbow, her eyes blazing with tears of hatred and rage.
Orinthia smiled. "Very good. Now that we've gotten that out of the way…" She turned back towards the fire, and its red light glinted demonically in her eyes. She stepped forward and waved her hand, causing the flames to part. Then, completely unconcerned, she reached down and plucked the Pen from the heart of the fire. "There you are," she crooned, almost as if she were speaking to a baby. "How good to have you back with me again at last."
Legolas's mind was feeling fuzzy and he was having a hard time concentrating on anything except Orinthia's unearthly beauty. Vaguely, he realized he was falling into a Sue trance, one far stronger than any he had ever encountered before. Everything in him wanted to rush to the Pen – his Pen – and snatch it back and clutch it to his chest, but his limbs would not move. Looking around, he saw the other characters staring at Orinthia with the same slack expression that he knew he wore on his own face.
Orinthia laughed, holding up the Pen. "I would have conquered Middle-earth with or without this Pen, but now no world will stand a chance against me. And most of all, I will finally see the ruin of your infernal KANON Institution and the Hub. As for the characters, who really cares about any of you after all? You will rot along with your overrated, overwritten world."
"Yahhhh!"
One character and one character only had not fallen into the deadly Sue trance. Eówyn leapt forward, her sword gleaming and a wild yell on her lips.
Orinthia was caught off guard, but she still managed to deflect Eówyn's slash with her own blade. But the Shieldmaiden of Rohan followed it up immediately with a downward cut that almost severed the Sue's right arm.
The sound of clashing metal wrenched Legolas out of his Sue trance. His head still felt foggy, but he was a little more aware than before. Around him, he saw the other characters shaking themselves out of their trances as well.
The duel between Eówyn and Orinthia raged in front of the Hearth of Doom. Eówyn's slashes and cuts were quick and precise, but Orinthia – blessed as she was with Sue skills and reflexes – kept up with her easily. And it was clear that Eówyn was tiring, while Orinthia was most definitely not.
Finally, Eówyn lunged forward with a clumsy stab towards Orinthia's left side, but Orinthia knocked it aside with contemptuous ease. "For a character, you have decent makings for a Sue," Orinthia sneered as she did so, "but you're no match for me, Shieldmaiden."
Suddenly, Eówyn smiled grimly. "Maybe I'm not trying to beat you, Sue."
Orinthia suddenly frowned as she realized in a split second that her parry of Eówyn's sword had left the Shieldmaiden's blade hovering inches from her left hand. And the Pen.
With a deft trick movement, Eówyn flicked her sword, catching the Pen. It flew out of Orinthia's hand as the Sue screeched with anger. "Legolas!" Eówyn yelled.
Legolas was already moving even before Eówyn called his name. Using all the nimbleness of his elven grace, he dove and seized the Pen before it even struck the ground. It was still glowing with letters from the fire and it was hot in his hand. In an instant, calm fell over him and he knew unhesitatingly what he had to do.
He uncapped the Pen.
Lifting it, he began to trace letters in the air. Where the tip of the Pen glided, a trail of gold sparks followed. Power flowed through him, intoxicating and wild. Everything that had been building up inside of him since the Quest began and he had been chosen as the Pen-bearer released in one wild burst of energy. He wrote the first thing that came to his mind.
The Fellowship of the Pen escaped the Sue into Middle-earth.
As soon as he placed the period, the letters in the air blazed. They began to spin and spin, faster and faster, and the air caught in their circle began to grow thinner. The world Bent, pulling towards the glowing ring of letters, and Legolas suddenly saw mountains and forests through the forming portal. Not the flimsy, half-created landscape of the Sue world, but a real, solid world.
"NO!" Orinthia screamed with rage when she saw the portal. She slashed out quickly with her sword, catching Eówyn on her sword hand. The Shieldmaiden dropped her blade with a pained gasp.
That was when Legolas realized that Orinthia was between the portal and the other characters. The Sue raised her hand, dangerous, glowing Sue light flaring in her palms. "If that's the way you're playing, you can all become my pawns now!" she screamed.
Hawk had realized their plight as well. "Go!" she yelled to the characters. "Get through the portal! I'll hold her off!"
"No!" Another voice cut in. "You're not strong enough to hold off her magic. But I am." With a dramatic sweep of his black cloak, Sauron stepped in between Orinthia and the rest of the Fellowship. He held up his hands, and black mist pooled in his gauntleted palms. "Go! While you can!"
The characters rushed for the portal. Merry, Pippin, Gimli, and Faramir leapt through. Eówyn hesitated for a moment at the edge of the Bend then threw herself through as well. Hawk reached the edge of the portal and stopped by Legolas. Both of them looked back.
Darkness poured off of Sauron and the air around him crackled with Power. Orinthia shot bolt after bolt of blinding light towards the portal, but Sauron's darkness sucked it in like a black hole and devoured it. His cloak billowed in the rushing air that swept between the Sue and himself as they strove against one another's power and will. At that moment, Legolas saw for the first time, not the caustic annoying Dark Lord who had trailed at the back of the Fellowship, but a being of ancient power and darkness from the beginning of the world.
"Sauron!" Legolas yelled.
Sauron didn't look at them. "Go!" he roared again, his darkness absorbing another blast of Sue power, causing him to take a step back. "Go without me while you can."
"You can't sacrifice yourself for us!"
Sauron did look at him then. "I'm not sacrificing myself for you. I'm doing this for Middle-earth. Because even if you don't believe me, I love our world too."
"We have to go, Legolas. We have to get the Pen away from here," Hawk said, grabbing his cloak. She leapt through the portal.
Legolas turned and jumped as the Bent air began to waver. As he did so, he looked back a final time. Just before the portal snapped shut, he saw Orinthia's light swell up in a great blast of power. Sauron's darkness faltered and the Dark Lord staggered to his knees, still desperately trying to hold off the Sue. Then it was all gone and Legolas was falling.
A/N: A big chapter, yes? The Fellowship's story is nearing its end. My plan is to devote all my free time and energy to the final few chapters of this story over the next couple months and see if I can get it finished for you all. A big thanks to you loyal readers who have stuck with me over the years, as well as to you newer readers who picked this story up along the way. Hopefully, I'll be turning out a chapter every 1-2 weeks for this story now until its grand finale. Onward to the conclusion of the Quest!
Also, if you are interested, I have started a Tolkien-related blog on Tumblr (mostly Sauron, surprise, surprise). If you are interested in following me for story updates, writing excerpts, original fan art, and pictures of my Sauron cosplay that I'm currently working on, check me out at saurongorthaur9 on tumblr. - SG