Gonna be a two parter guys

Long author's note but I feel like Donnie would really be into pimple popping videos for some reason

I know that's a bit OOC cause he usually leans towards being a germaphobe no matter what verse it is but he does like exploding things so

Also now I'm leaning into the '03 and Rise verse with this chapter so we're just all over the place, it's going ok so far but we'll see how I feel

Mostly Donnie and April centered chapter but not in a ship way DESPITE WHAT YOU MAY THINK OR WHAT THEY MAY DO, she does flirt with all of them a lot but it's purely for friendship bonding and my own general amusement

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTMMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTT

"What do you think we'd all look like as humans?"

April let one of her eyes crack open, peeking up at Donnie and taking a moment to adjust to the large overhead ring light he had positioned above her face, a look of concentration furling his brow as he grasped two Q-Tips and pressed them against the upper part of her forehead.

She had ignored the smattering of white heads she'd woken up with across her face this morning, patting down her bangs in the bathroom mirror before throwing on her junky old sweatsuit and heading down to the lair for the day. Being in the sewers all the time wasn't the best for her skin, but she'd been too tired lately from school and work to bother doing her pretty meticulous skin care routine. Not like the boys cared much anyways, and any comments they made about her appearance were usually either pure curiosity on human anatomy or goofy teenage boy compliments. Leo had once referred to her as 'perfectly manicured inside and out', the little slut.

Master Splinter had some business in the hidden city for the evening so that could only mean one thing. Family game night.

Mikey got real weird about board games, she had a feeling it made him feel more adequate since he was a lot better at them than the others, it was kinda funny seeing the silliness drop for a mask of utter concentration and sometimes anger. Leo always asked too many questions and Raph and Donnie both liked to cheat, so the orange clad turtle getting frustrated and worked up over some tiny bits of plastic seemed almost part of the routine now. Probably why Master Splinter always seemingly found some way to dip out for the evening whenever one was planned.

"What do you mean?"

"Like, if we had been born humans, like dad never got transformed and just like, adopted us the normal way or something."

She flinched a bit as he squeezed one of the pimples above her eyebrow, making a disgusted expression and sticking her tongue out as he scrapped the puss off onto a Petrie dish to study later. Her position with her head in his lap made the turn awkward and he almost elbowed her in the face as he rotated back around, searching her face excitedly with two fresh q-tips in hand. Weirdo.

"I think you and Mikey would be black."

He paused and looked at her confused for a moment, his brows together as he resumed his searching and found another large white head up under her bangs where her widows peak was.

"Why's that? Do we talk like we're black? I'm sorry, I didn't realize-"

"No no it's not that, Mikey uses some slang sometimes but he sounds more like a surfer dude honestly."

Donnie nodded gently and scraped off another bead of puss, his eyes glancing over at the nearby already overflowing garbage can that was slowly filling up with q-tips on the tops of the pile. Pretty wasteful but she guessed it was the most sanitary option and his fingers were too big to pinch them himself.

"It's just a feeling I have honestly, I don't know why but I've always thought that."

"Even when we were kids?"

"Yeah, since the day I met you."

"Do you think it's because you're black?" he blinked curiously, staring down at her waiting eagerly for her answer with big brown eyes.

A harmless question from someone like him, she nodded a bit and reached up to pull a chunk of hair away from the right side of her forehead to give him better access.

"I think so, yeah."

"What about the others?"

"Well Master Splinter is a samurai obviously, so, an older Japanese man, and maybe Raph would be Hispanic?"

"You don't think any of us are white?"

"No, never."

"And Leo? What'd he look like?"

"Handsome."

Donnie scoffed in surprise, rolling his eyes and flicking another set of q-tips into the now way over stuffed trash can.

"Yeah, sure April."

"Oh please, he'd be sexy as fuck and you know it."

Donnie rolled his eyes again, pulling out a cotton pad and spraying some rubbing alcohol to dampen it before gently starting to wipe the remaining oils and specks of goo off her face from his prodding.

"Seriously though, what would he look like?"

"Probably Japanese too, I think he'd have long hair, really noble looking you know?" she mumbled the last part, starting to daze off at Donnie's dermatologic petting and picturing the four boys in her head now. All ninja, all human but still her turtles none the less.

He went a bit quiet and she wondered briefly if she'd upset him with her descriptions. Leo always seemed to be really on edge whenever they talked about the hypothetical of them being human instead of mutants, and Raph and Mikey seemed to have quite a few fantasies about the idea themselves. But she'd never spoken about it with Donnie until now.

She cracked an eye open when he'd paused his wiping, the cotton pad pressing into her eyebrow as she looked up at the bottom of his jaw. Noticing her confusion he started back up again, gently pushing her bangs away from her forehead to get at the spots he'd missed underneath. He tossed the cotton pad to the side before grabbing a tube of some sort of cream, squeezing out a dab of it onto his finger before slowly starting to massage it into her skin, making it tingle.

He paused again, not looking her in the eye anymore and instead focusing on the darker freckles prickled across her nose and down her cheeks with his fingers.

"Do you want to sleep with him?"

April blinked in surprise at the question, positive she'd heard wrong as he casually continued giving her his version of an amateur facial.

"Say what?"

"I said, do you want to sleep with him? Like, have sex?" he croaked a bit on the last word, cringing slightly like it hurt to say.

She raised her eyebrows, sitting up to join him in a crisscross position as he pulled his knees up to his chest and avoided her gaze, grabbing a tissue from nearby and wiping off what was left of the cream on his hands. She reached over for her glasses, sliding them up her nose and watching his frame come full focus into her vision.

"Why would you ask me that?"

"I don't know, I know you think he's pretty, it makes me nervous sometimes," he barely said the last bit, tossing the tissue over his shoulder and wrapping his arms around himself, like how a kid would.

"I think all of you are pretty."

He cringed again and reached down to swirl his finger in the plush purple blanket they were sitting on, his other hand twitching as he reached up to scratch at a mosquito bite on his neck he'd gotten earlier that week when they'd gone on a hike to visit Todd. Nervous ticks.

"You're my best friend and he's my brother, and you're like our sister, I wonder sometimes if that would be ruined."

April cocked her head to the side, watching him curiously as he paused his swirling and scratching to crack his knuckles, an anxious habit picked up from Raphael now mirrored on the purple banded brother.

"I wouldn't have sex with any of you frankly."

He glanced up at her and narrowed his eyes, looking a bit offended as she put her hands up in defense and shook her head while sighing slightly in frustration.

"I didn't mean it like that, you know I think you're all cuties, I just meant I agree with what you just said."

He grunted slightly and cast his gaze to the side away again to look back over at the stuffed trash can, one of his ways of acknowledgment she'd gotten used to over the years of knowing him. April bit her bottom lip, worrying the skin between her teeth gently and thinking for a moment before scootching forward and tilting her head down slightly to meet his thoughtful gaze.

"Do you want to sleep with me?"

He spluttered and almost immediately turned red, his eyes going wide in shock as he furiously waved his hands back and forth in between the two of them, almost as if to wash away what she'd just said.

"No no NO! Of course not never-"

"Oh now whose turn is it to be offended?"

"I didn't mean it like that!" he said shrilly, flapping his hands back and forth as he huffed and scowled up in frustration at the laboratory ceiling. Donnie's voice always got kinda high and whiny when he was upset and it made her snort, she found it kind of cute as it was one of the few sibling similarities he had with Michelangelo.

"I just meant what I said, you're our friend and basically our fifth sibling, it would be weird."

"Yeah it would, but if I was a female mutant turtle I'd totally be in love with all of you though," she snickered slightly, watching him squirm around in his seat across from her. He was so silly sometimes.

That made him crack a smile and she felt a small wave of relief that he wasn't as stressed now that he'd scrounged up the courage to talk to her.

"You'd love Leo the most though right?"

"Probably, he is the most suave."

"I always thought Raph was more your type."

"You're not flattering yourself as much as I thought you would."

"Mike would probably be the second choice besides Leo then."

"Have you been thinking about this a lot?"

"About you sleeping with Leo?"

"About the sex thing in general?'"

A beat of silence before he decided to make eye contact with her, his eyes softening when she gave him a gentle smile to let him know she knew he meant no harm.

"You can ask me anything you want Dee, I don't bite."

He let his arms drop down along with his knees, clasping his ankles where they were crossed together with his fingers and shrugging his shoulders forward nervously.

"You'll think I'm perverted."

"I think you're a scientist."

"You're just the only person I can talk to about this."

"I know."

More silence. She started cracking her knuckles as well before stopping and shoving her hands under her thighs. No early on set arthritis for her. He was squirming again and she let out an annoyed sigh as gently as she could without being bitchy about it.

"Don you look constipated, don't worry so much."

"Does it hurt?"

"Sex?"

"Yes."

Fascinating first question.

"It did the first time, not as much as I thought but it usually does for girls, some of my friends in high-school said it hurt a lot for them but I think that's just cause they weren't ready before getting into it."

He looked confused at the 'getting ready' aspect of it, his brows furrowed together as he scooted a bit closer to her on the blanket.

"Did it hurt for the guy you were with?"

"I don't think so, I've never heard guys saying it hurts for them, I'm surprised you don't know this stuff already."

"I've done some research but there's only so much information available without getting porny."

"True."

"Do you still talk to him?"

"Not really, he works at the grocery store near my house so I see him sometimes though, he usually gives me an awkward little wave before taking off."

He hummed under his breath in acknowledgment, seeming to drift off in thought momentarily before looking her in the eye again.

"How old were you?"

"Sixteen, I think? It happened on a field trip."

"You didn't tell me?" he asked, looking slightly hurt and she frowned at the reaction, reaching forward and putting one of her hands over his. They'd met when she was 7 and he was 5, freak accident with her falling down a construction shaft after dawdling too far from her parents, falling into the sewers and landing on Raphael's head.

"I didn't think you'd want to hear, I hate making you uncomfortable."

"You don't! Ever, you're always so considerate of us, of me" his eyes were wide and surprised, his mouth slightly open as his turned his palm over so their hands fit more neatly together. Another trait mirrored by Raph, hand holding was all good, as long as they weren't sweating profusely and making his palm all slippery.

"This is different though, I felt weird after, I kept thinking you guys could tell, like you smelt it on me or something."

He gasped and let out a choked snort, covering his mouth with his free hand to try and muffle the gross noise as she glared at him, his shoulders shaking as he kept squeaking out garbling noises of self-amusement.

"Sorry, I'm sorry but, smell it on you?" he blubbered, gasping with laughter again as she ripped her hand out of his and crossed her arms over her chest, scowling and pouting as he practically fell over with the force of his own giggles.

"Well I don't know! You guys are so weird with that! Bunch of goddamn bloodhounds."

He was still laughing shrilly as he sat himself back up, rubbing at watery eyes and smiling brightly before scooting in close again.

"I'm sorry, that was rude, I just-"

"Yeah yeah can it egghead," she grumbled, making him snicker as she continued to pout but let him take her hand back in his again.

"I wouldn't have been weirded out if you told me, probably would've just had a lot of questions."

She looked up, seeing the genuine smile on his face and letting her pout crack for a moment.

"Like how you do now?"

"Probably more honestly."

"Sensei never gave you the talk?"

"Oh he did! It was more humiliating though, we were about to turn thirteen and Raph and Mikey kept giggling the whole time while I tried to prevent Leo from shoving a katana into his own stomach."

That made her laugh this time too and they both reveled in their giggles, the tension from the awkwardness before completely dissipating as they got up off the floor and headed over to Donnie's plush little sofa seated on the far wall of the lab, dragging the purple blanket along with them.

They settled down a bit, and Donnie finally felt comfortable bringing up the thing he'd wanted to say in the first place. "I don't think I want to have sex, like ever, with anyone."

April paused, looking him over carefully before slowly nodding her head.

"Well that's ok."

"Girls are mean."

"You're pretty mean yourself kiddo."

He gargled out a half assed laugh, "well har de haaaaaar."

"Do you not wanna have sex or do you not wanna have sex with women in particular?"

"I'm not sure yet, pretty sure the distaste is spread out equally among all genders. I don't even know if it's the sex thing that's bothering me or just the touching in general, I can't really experiment much," he let out an annoyed little sigh at the end of his sentence and she nodded again sympathetically.

"Well, that's what I'm here for sweetie, keep asking away," April said, picking up one of the couch cushions and fluffing it rapidly before throwing it back down to join the others in the bunch.

"What about your first kiss? I don't think you ever told me about that too."

"I didn't have to, Mikey was my first kiss."

"WHAT?!" he shrieked, turning to stare at her wide eyed with shock as she let out a barking laugh and plopped herself down on the sofa.

"Remember? You were like 11 and we had that sleepover? We played truth or dare?"

He looked confused for a second as he settled down next to her, recognition flooding his features a moment later as the memory of that night eight years ago flashed across the back of his mind.

"Oh I totally remember now! Leo dared Raph to kiss you and he pretended to be all grossed out so Mikey took the opportunity to leap on you instead, the little shit," he sighed, making April's giggles start back up again as he pulled the blanket up over the two of them.

It was so clear in his brain now, the beat of silence after Mikey's lips removed themselves from April's, making a loud smacking sound as the orange clad youngest of the group giggled wildly. Leo and Raph had tackled him a second later, punching randomly and Donnie putting a concerned hand on April's shoulder only to be surprised as she started to laugh too. "You're crazy Mikey baby!"

"He clearly hasn't changed a bit huh?"

"Definitely not," Donnie shook his head affectionately, looking over at her once again as she grabbed an un-opened water bottle off the end of the desk nearest to them to screw the cap off and take a swift chug. He watched her lips as she pulled the bottle back down, his eyes focused as her tongue flicked out to lick a rogue bead of water that had trickled out of the corner of her mouth. Maybe...

"Could we kiss?"

She turned back around quickly, the thankfully re-capped plastic bottle fumbling out of her hand and rolling across the desk she had retrieved it from. He watched her carefully, searching her eyes to find even a hint of anger or disgust and being relieved to see only confusion and maybe even a bit of curiosity.

"You wanna kiss?"

"Yep."

"You and me?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Donnie and April?"

He huffed, rolling his eyes before locking onto her gaze again and giving a stiff nod.

"Yes, April, I want to kiss you."

"How come?" April asked curiously, still no signs of anger in her voice and making him smile softly as she already started to move closer to his side of the couch. Like him she was a person of science and had a natural talent for taking risks and worrying about the consequences later.

"I wanna know what it feels like," he answered honestly, taking both of her hands in his and keeping his curious brown eyes on hers as he entwined their fingers together.

"You see it on TV and stuff but, the way people describe it there's nothing like the real thing I'm guessing by my calculations."

"I think that's when people are in love Dee."

"Still, if you're ok with it..." he could already tell she was but he let her think for a second, watching her purse her lips and make the little scrunched up face she did whenever she was thinking of the possible outcomes of something.

"What if there's some crazy romance movie spark and we fall madly in love Don?"

"The we declare to the family we're getting married and proceed to have lots of sex and babies."

She let out a shocked bark of laughter, making him grin as her fingers squeezed his and her shoulders shook with surprised giggles. She was such a good friend, everything was so easy with her.

"How would that even work? Would I end up laying eggs?"

"I don't even wanna think about, it'd probably be a horror show."

"Well I'm a mammal so I'm guessing live birth would be the most logical outcome."

"We don't know how mutant sperm reacts to human eggs though! In fact-"

"Getting off topic Dee."

"Right right, my apologies," he cleared his throat quickly, smiling at her again as she settled into the couch cushions, pulling her legs up to sit on her ankles and smile back on him sweetly.

"You sure you wanna do this Dee?"

"Yes, well, I think so? There's a 0.3576% chance we-"

"Ok ok I get it, do you need me to lead?" she chuckled lightly, making his mouth snap shut and his cheeks tint pink for the first time since the conversation started.

"I mean, you're the one with more experience so, that would make the most sense logically," he mumbled, looking at her in surprise as she let go of his hands to reach up to hold the sides of his face gently. She gave him a big smile, making his lips twitch awkwardly as he watched her close her eyes and lean forward.

"If it feels gross you can stop."

She cracked an eye open, seeing the slightly sad look in his eyes as he reached up to hold her wrists. Grounding himself.

"I won't be upset don't worry, I know I'm all scaley"

"I could never think you're gross Donnie,' she spoke softly, the tone so genuine and real it made his body freeze slightly. His eyes widened again as she leaned forward suddenly again, faster than the first time and he gripped her wrists tight enough to make her stop.

"Wait wait! My eyes aren't closed!"

"Then close them Donnie, for heaven's sake" she groaned, making him scoff and pout slightly before taking a deep breath and squeezing them shut.

"Ok, I'm ready, for science."

Her small giggle almost made him open his eyes before warmth spread rapidly all over his face, originating at his lips and soft and inviting like a towel fresh out of the dryer. It didn't feel weird like he thought it would, like kissing a sibling, but it wasn't all fireworks and lights blinking rapidly behind his eyes like they described in the books and the movies. No it was simply, warm, and comforting, April's soft hands still holding his face delicately as her thumbs started to rub comforting along the sides of his mask.

Kissing Donnie was cold in an inviting way, like feeling the blast of a freezer opening on a hot summer day. He was scaly like he'd predicted, but it wasn't unpleasant, instead the texture was nice and welcoming against her own lips. She thought maybe his mouth would be too big and was surprised when they actually slot together nicely, like puzzles pieces that were a bit off but still worked together correctly. She felt his hand go up to the back of her head and she smiled, feeling his lips curl to smile back before they parted with a small breath shared between the two of them.

"Oh cool," Donnie said softly, still holding the back of her head as she giggled and scratched a spot on her nose lightly under her glasses.

"Whatcha think?"

"Fascinating, it felt good but not in a sexual way, like, my brain could still tell we were friends while it was happening but it was nice anyways."

"As always, we're on the exact same page Dee."

He smiled, giggling along with her as she leaned forward to press her face into his neck, his hands going up around her back and rocking them side to side in a quick hug. He felt pretty satisfied with the conclusion to their experiment and it made a decent size ball of warmth form and spread out from the middle of his chest.

"Hey dudes! We're gonna set up Candy Land-" Michelangelo froze as the two friends shrieked in surprise, shoving each other away simultaneously and ending up sprawled uncomfortably over opposite ends of the couch.

"Wooooaaaaaaah, were you guys getting freaky in here-"

"MIKEY!"