Chapter 17
"Anne, whatever it is, please tell me. You do not know how difficult it is not to know what happened in my life months ago. I do not know what I did or if anything important occurred. Even if I try, I can not remember." Mr. Darcy said, taking her cousin's hand to show her how desperate he was.
"Alright, Darcy. I shall tell you very personal matters, and I need to know if you want me to tell you everything in front of Fitzwilliam. I do not know if you shared this information with him before talking to me, and as I told you, it is a delicate subject."
"Do not worry, Anne, I just came to protect Darcy from you, a notorious husband-hunter," the Colonel said smiling. "I am leaving now."
"No, Fitzwilliam, please stay. You know I trust you; you are not just my cousin but also my best friend," Mr. Darcy said sincerely, ignoring his cousin's joke.
Anne asked Richard to give her a glass of water, and after drinking it, she settled back in the armchair and began her story. "During your last visit, one day, I was walking in the garden with Mrs. Jenkinson when you approached me. You said you wanted to talk about something important with me, and of course, I got very nervous and wanted to avoid talking to you at all costs. I even pretended to be ill, and you were very concerned."
"Why did you do something like that?" Mr. Darcy asked sadly. "Despite how estranged we have been in recent years, I always thought we cared for each other."
"Because you have ignored me since I turned thirteen, Darcy. In our conversation, we cleared all that up. I always thought you despised me because you felt you would be forced to marry me."
"Anne, I am so sorry. Please…."
"Darcy, you do not have to apologize again; you already did. We both forgive each other for allowing my mother's intrigues to separate us. You and I have always loved and respected each other but as cousins." Anne looked at Richard, adding, "Besides, I told you about Frederick, and you sincerely congratulated me and promised me your help."
"Frederick?" Mr. Darcy asked and looked at Fitzwilliam, who was not surprised by Anne's information.
Anne told Mr. Darcy about her love story with Frederick Watson, the son of the former Hunsford clergyman who died more than three years ago. Lady Catherine replaced him, naming Mr. Collins as the new parson. Like his father, Frederick was also a clergyman and officiated as a curate while his father was ill.
Sir Lewis de Bourgh appointed Mr. Horatio Watson as Hunsford Clergyman because they were classmates at Oxford and knew him to be good and capable. But Lady Catherine never liked him because she could not influence him as she pleased.
However, her hatred for the Watson family grew even more when she began to suspect that there was something more than a friendship between her daughter and the priest's son. So when Horatio died, she looked for a clergyman she could manage to her liking and keep Frederick as far away from her daughter as possible.
Fortunately, the young clergyman had the same qualities as his father and managed to secure a living twenty miles from Rosings.
"And are you still in touch with Frederick? I remember him as a child; he was quite a nice boy," Mr. Darcy said.
"You said the same thing the first time I told you my story," added Anne, smiling. "But to answer your question, yes, we still see each other. Mrs. Jenkinson and Mrs. Collins have helped me see him. When I turn twenty-five, I shall marry him."
Mr. Darcy listened, bewildered, as his cousin told him about her betrothed. She seemed like another person who was less shy and expressed her ideas with conviction. Above all, she did not seem like a poor girl with no personality and was constantly ill.
Finally, Anne told him she had not married before only because she wanted to protect her family's heritage. She wanted to wait until she was twenty-five because, according to her father's will, she could take possession of her inheritance at that age.
"Frederick and I do not intend to live in Rosings, Darcy. I hate this place and want to live as far away from my mother as possible. But I do not want to leave the tenants another day under Lady Catherine's authoritarian rule. So, as soon as all this is mine, I shall hire a good steward to take care of everything, and I shall tell my mother that she can live in this house as long as she does not interfere in the estate's affairs." Anne spoke about her relationship with Frederick for a few more minutes and answered Mr. Darcy's questions to the best of her ability.
"I am sure you will be pleased with Frederick, and I am convinced my mother will give you her full support." Colonel Fitzwilliam added affectionately.
"Anne, I am glad you could find happiness, but I do not understand why you told me I would not like what you wanted to tell me. I am very sorry that you consider me such an uncaring man."
"Darcy, our conversation in the garden led to a much more in-depth conversation the following day. You told me a terrible secret you had discovered recently."
"A secret? What secret?" Mr. Darcy asked breathlessly.
This time, Anne took her cousin's hand and told her with sincere regret. "You told me that your father, Uncle George, had had a mistress for almost twenty years."
"WHAT?" Mr. Darcy said and stood up. "That is impossible, Anne. My father would never have done such a thing. He was an honorable and flawless gentleman," Mr. Darcy argued sharply.
Anne looked at the Colonel, who was not as surprised as his cousin and said in a very soft voice. "Darcy, perhaps we should end this conversation here."
"No, Anne, excuse me. Please continue your story," added Mr. Darcy, a little calmer but skeptical.
Anne continued speaking even though she was concerned for her cousin Darcy. She told him that when he heard her talking about love and future felicity, she motivated him to tell her everything related to his father.
"We talked for a long time about how sad it was to grow up seeing our parents' distant or almost non-existent relationship. You also said you were glad I had chosen to make a different life. In fact, you told me that now you also aspire to have a wife whom you admire and love to have a true life partner, and I thought that maybe you had met someone, even though you did not mention anything in that regard."
Mr. Darcy knew that everything Anne said was true. His parents hardly ever spent time together, and his father, in particular, used to disappear for long periods. When he returned home, he was always very melancholic. "And I explained to you how I discovered all that information?" asked Mr. Darcy, resigned that perhaps everything was true.
"Yes, you told me you found out through your solicitor. Apparently, your father set aside a monthly amount of money for that woman, which was listed in the ledgers as "The Thompson House."
"Thompson? My father begged me on his deathbed that I would never neglect that institution…. Thompson? That is my grandmother's last name... Mr. Thompson?"
Colonel Fitzwilliam and Anne looked at their cousin with some concern. He walked from one place to another in the room, repeating the word Thompson over and over again. "Darcy, did that help you to remember something?"
"I do not know, Fitzwilliam. That surname is my grandmother's, but I feel like I have heard it many times before."
"And what do you know about that Thompson house?" the Colonel asked again.
"I know that it was sold a month ago. Mr. Jones sent me a report, and I was satisfied with the price. He told me he had followed my instructions, so I assumed I had decided to sell the house because perhaps the charity institution no longer existed. But I shall talk to him as soon as I return to London."
"Darcy, your father, and my mother were always good friends; I think you should talk to her too," the Colonel added. Although his mother had never given him any details, he knew Uncle George was not the impeccable, honorable gentleman his cousin believed. But he was not a bad person either, so he thought there was probably a rather sad story behind all this.
Mr. Darcy continued questioning Anne, and she told him everything she remembered several times. At that moment, he wanted to return to the city to clear everything up. But he still had a lot of work at Rosings and resolved everything related to Elizabeth. The next few days would be crucial to decide if he would finally propose.
However, the meeting between the cousins was abruptly interrupted when Lady Catherine entered the room unexpectedly. Immediately, Anne explained that she had felt ill, and her cousins brought her to her room. She wanted to avoid her mother harassing her regarding Darcy. She even pretended that she was almost fainting so Fitzwilliam had to help her and Darcy could flee from her sitting room.
Mr. Darcy tried to work after talking to Anne, but his mind was so distracted that he could not do practically anything. For his part, Richard went to the parsonage and spent a pleasant afternoon chatting with Elizabeth and Charlotte and playing with little Sophia.
P&P
Lady Catherine was outraged with her daughter. That morning, when she went to talk to her, she found her with her two cousins. She was pleased, thinking she could finally do something to force her elusive nephew to assume his duty and offer for her daughter. But silly Anne, before she could get Fitzwilliam out of the room and leave them alone, felt ill and went to bed while Darcy left the room.
But she would not let the opportunity pass and would find a way to make it possible for her daughter and nephew to spend time together, hopefully alone. Unfortunately, she had other things to worry about. She invited the Collinses for dinner. She was anxious to tell them everything they needed to do to ensure that her goddaughter Sophia would get a proper education.
Mr. Darcy was very nervous thinking about everything Anne had told him. He had a feeling that that secret was just the tip of the iceberg and that it would probably lead him to find out everything he had been through in the months he could not remember.
The Colonel and Anne tried as best they could to protect their cousin Darcy from Lady Catherine's constant harassment. They knew the news he had received earlier probably saddened him. Richard even pretended to pay attention to Lady Catherine and held back a laugh when his aunt told him that if she had been a man and a General, she probably would have reconquered all the territories the kingdom had lost in the American Revolution.
"I know that if I had been an officer like you, Fitzwilliam, by now, I would be a famous General decorated with many medals for my honorability and bravery."
"I do not doubt that, Lady Catherine," Richard said as he winked at Anne, who was as amused by her mother's ridiculous and presumptuous words.
"If I had more time, Fitzwilliam, I could give you some suggestions. But I prefer to concentrate my energies on Darcy because he has always been very close to me," Lady Catherine said, looking suspiciously at Richard.
"Please, do not worry, Lady Catherine, I understand," replied Richard, amused.
Mr. Darcy was so absorbed in his own thoughts that he did not notice or hear anything happening around him.
Finally, the guests arrived, and after talking for a few minutes, greeting and listening to Lady Catherine, they all went to the dining room. Lady Catherine was the only one who spoke during dinner, while the rest of the diners only spoke to answer her impertinent questions.
"Miss Bennet, Mr. Collins told me you lived in London for a long time. I imagine you took the opportunity to socialize there. You live in a small town where finding a suitable husband is difficult. Even more so considering that you do not have a dowry or connections. If you are fortunate, you may find a tradesman husband just like your sister."
Mr. Darcy was embarrassed by his aunt's impertinence, and he noticed that Richard and Anne were not looking up from their plates, probably just as embarrassed as he was.
Elizabeth was more annoyed at the sight of Mr. Darcy's disgusted face than at Lady Catherine's impertinent question. If he was afraid that she would say something that might ruin his advantageous marriage to Miss de Bourgh, he was sorely mistaken. Because of that, staring at him, she replied to the great lady. "Lady Catherine, I did not meet anyone important in London. The purpose of my trip was not to find a husband but to accompany my aunt when she was recovering from a domestic accident."
Mr. Darcy felt he could not breathe when Elizabeth looked at him so intensely. He understood that she was informing him that she was not interested in looking for a husband elsewhere and was waiting for him to make up his mind. If he had doubts about her affection after that gesture, he was convinced she sincerely admired him. But he still was not entirely certain; the reasons that separated him from her were still a significant barrier between them.
The Colonel noted that his aunt did not like Elizabeth's response and that she intended to continue bothering her with her impertinent questions, so he intervened.
"Lady Catherine, could you share with us how much you know about military tactics?"
"How wonderful, my dear Lady Catherine, to hear your wise opinion on such an interesting subject. I pray to the Lord every day that my beautiful daughter may have even a little of your wisdom," said Mr. Collins with admiration.
Lady Catherine saw the opportunity to give her magnanimous opinion, forgot about Elizabeth, and began to talk non-stop for the rest of the dinner. But, as expected, the only one who paid attention was Mr. Collins.
After dinner, there was no separation between the ladies and the gentlemen because Lady Catherine wanted Anne and her nephew Darcy to spend as much time together as possible.
Fortunately for Elizabeth, Colonel Fitzwilliam sat beside her, allowing them to have a pleasant conversation. However, she could feel Mr. Darcy's eyes on her the entire time. But the peace was short-lived because Lady Catherine practically forced her to sing and play the piano. Richard, who felt he would go mad if he heard one more silly comment from her aunt, offered to help her with the music sheets.
After Elizabeth reviewed the music available, she found a song she liked. Also, she knew it very well because it was Aunt Agatha's favorite song. When she was with the Stones, she practically played it every day.
Mr. Darcy stood by the fireplace, trying to pay attention to what her aunt said. But Elizabeth looked so beautiful that night that he could not stop looking at her. Then, when she began to sing, he was stunned. Her voice was the same one he heard every night in his dreams. So, he could not keep standing next to his aunt; he needed to listen more closely to Elizabeth's voice to know what was happening in his confused head.
Once Elizabeth finished singing, Richard immediately commented. "Miss Bennet, I remember you telling us that you played the piano very ill, and look what a surprise you gave me. You not only play very well, but you also have a beautiful voice."
"Thank you, Colonel. But the truth is that I have played this song so many times that I know it by heart," Elizabeth explained, and, looking at Mr. Darcy, she added, "There was a time when I used to sing it very often."
"It is a beautiful song, Miss Bennet. And my cousin is correct; you have a beautiful voice," said Mr. Darcy, looking at Elizabeth with open admiration.
"Thank you, sir," Elizabeth answered a little nervously. What did that man want from her now? At that moment, he was looking at her not as the cold Mr. Darcy but as William. Even the tone of his voice was softer and less harsh.
"So, Darcy, have you never heard Miss Bennet sing?" Richard asked, slightly surprised.
"No, I did not have the pleasure of hearing her beautiful voice before. She never wanted to sing, not in the days we had living in Netherfield, not in some social gatherings where we met on more than one occasion."
Elizabeth could not believe that man's nerve, but she was determined to show him that nothing he said would affect her. "Well, since you have liked my voice so much, Mr. Darcy, let me sing another song that you may not know either," Elizabeth said, challenging. "I hope you like it, sir."
Elizabeth began to sing while she looked defiantly at the man who had lied to her. That was William's favorite song, or at least what he had told her. If he thought he could laugh at her, Elizabeth would show him she could laugh at him, too.
Mr. Darcy was ecstatic; that was the song of his dreams. Then, without realizing it, he closed his eyes and saw himself next to Elizabeth, just as his cousin was at that moment. He began to remember each of his dreams with her. When he opened his eyes, he saw Elizabeth looking at him, and he just wished he could sit next to her, be close to her. He could no longer deny that he was in love with that charming woman and would do the same thing he had criticized his friend Bingley. He was to propose to a woman with no dowry or connections.
"Darcy, please come closer. I have some important things to tell you, and besides, Anne wants to talk with you," Lady Catherine said in an imperative tone, and he had no choice but to obey.
Elizabeth kept playing the piano but did not want to sing anymore. As unpleasant as Lady Catherine could be, she was grateful she had called her nephew. She wanted to have peace for the rest of the evening.
Twenty minutes later, the visitors returned to the parsonage, and although Lady Catherine insisted that Mr. Darcy should play cards with her and Anne, she could not persuade him; he only wanted to be alone.
Despite everything that had happened that day, Mr. Darcy went to bed happy and hopeful, thinking he would soon have a wife who would help him face the difficult truths about his father's true character.
'William, I have sung the same song three times. My uncle's friends will think I do not know any other song.' Elizabeth explained, laughing.
'One more, my sweet love, please," William requested and kissed her hand discreetly.
'Alright, but I am only doing it because I love you," Elizabeth replied.
'I love you too, my beautiful Elizabeth,' answered Mr. Darcy. He kept dreaming, but this time, he was happy and did not feel guilty.
P&P
Nearly a week after dinner at Rosings, Elizabeth walked around the park after breakfast. When she saw that Mr. Darcy was approaching where she was, and without him seeing her, she hid behind the trunk of a leafy tree.
Elizabeth loved walking, but she enjoyed it less and less because Mr. Darcy insisted on joining her in her daily walks. In the last few days, she had met him everywhere she went. She even changed her route several times, but he still found her.
She was so confused by his attitude that she even thought Mr. Darcy was trying to apologize or offer some kind of explanation. But she just wanted to be as far away from him as possible, and she was not interested in anything he could say to her to justify his horrible behavior.
Also, she did not understand why he insisted on accompanying her on her walks if he practically did not say a word. Every time he would say something, he seemed to change his mind and kept quiet. Elizabeth would leave in a few more days to return to London, so she had decided to avoid the gentleman at any cost. Therefore, she preferred to stay hidden behind the tree to deal with him.
Mr. Darcy walked around the area several times looking for Elizabeth, but he could not find her. Then, when he was returning to Rosings, he ran into his cousin Colonel Fitzwilliam, and they started talking. Elizabeth did not want to spy, but she did not want them to know that she had been hiding.
"Darcy, I thought you were locked up working. I am on my way to the lake. Do you want to join me?"
"No, Fitzwilliam, I have to talk to Rosings' steward in less than an hour," Mr. Darcy excused himself.
"I understand; I hope I can meet Miss Bennet; she is much more entertaining and pretty than you," the Colonel said, laughing. Elizabeth had to cover her mouth so as not to laugh.
"You and your silly comments, Fitzwilliam. I do not want to remind you of what I told you a few weeks ago."
The Colonel laughed again and said to his cousin, "You have nothing to worry about in that regard. Do you know when Bingley returns to Hertfordshire? I shall have several days off in the summer and would love to see the place. Miss Bennet has talked so much about the sights of her land that I am curious to see it. Besides, Bingley and his wife are so friendly that I doubt I could find better hosts."
"Bingley will never return to that place. So I am helping him to terminate the lease."
"Why?" Richard asked, surprised.
"Because it is a place full of uncultured and rather vulgar people."
"Darcy, sometimes you are so harsh with others. After what you discovered a few days ago, I thought you might be more tolerant of other people's faults. Besides, what does it matter if Bingley's neighbors are not all Earls or Dukes."
"It matters when Bingley's wife's family is the most vulgar and ill-mannered of all his neighbors. They embarrass him every time they open their mouths. Unfortunately, if he keeps close contact with them, Bingley will never be accepted in society."
The conversation lasted a few more minutes, but Elizabeth no longer understood what they were saying. She had begun to cry and was covering her mouth with both hands so no one could hear her. She was there for almost an hour, and only when she calmed down, she returned to the parsonage.
Immediately entering the house, she excused herself. She told Charlotte she was not feeling well and locked herself in her room for the rest of the day.
Charlotte was very concerned to see her so pale. She ensured her friend rested and asked a maid to bring her soup and bread. But Elizabeth did not want to eat anything. She just wanted to cry to get all that pain and resentment out of her soul and start living a new life. That night she swore those would be the last tears she shed for William.
P&P
Mr. Darcy was uneasy because he had not seen Elizabeth for several days. The day before, he had spent nearly half an hour looking for her and had not found her anywhere. He had to return to London in two days to speak once and for all with his solicitor. Still, he wanted to talk with Elizabeth about their future together before leaving.
That day, he had breakfast early and looked for her before any problem arose. His aunt was getting worse every day, and not satisfied with harassing him, she did it with Anne. Besides, he was hoping that, as the days had been quite hot, Elizabeth would prefer to go for a walk early in the morning.
As he walked along the path that bordered the parsonage, he met Charlotte and her husband. Of course, Mr. Collins greeted him, bowing several times, and he had to listen for a few minutes to the nonsense that man used to say.
"Mrs. Collins, I hope your lovely daughter is well," Mr. Darcy said politely, cutting off the chattering parson.
"She is very well, sir. Thank you for your good wishes," Charlotte replied politely.
"Yes, our girl is excellent, as always. We follow your excellent aunt's advice, which is why the girl never gets ill. Although, unfortunately, I cannot say the same for Cousin Elizabeth," said Mr. Collins.
"Has something happened to Miss Bennet?" asked Mr. Darcy, concerned.
Charlotte had noticed how Mr. Darcy looked at her friend, and after seeing his worried face, she knew that what she suspected was probably true. "Nothing serious; yesterday, she came back from her walk with a headache, that is all."
"But she was so pale at breakfast, and she did not want to eat anything," insisted Mr. Collins.
"My dear, the Smiths are waiting for us. Mr. Darcy, if you will excuse us," Charlotte said to stop her husband from discussing Elizabeth's personal affairs.
The Collinses said goodbye, and Mr. Darcy went straight to the parsonage. He had to make sure Elizabeth was well and decide whether to call a doctor.
Elizabeth was a little calmer, although she could not stop thinking about everything that had happened in her life in the last year. She had played with little Sophia for a while, but the girl was sleeping, so she went into the small sitting room to write to Jane and Aunt Agatha. Although she was a strong woman, she could not deny feeling downcast.
To her bad fortune, she had to take the book that William gave her everywhere because she knew that her two younger sisters were very intrusive and that they would enter her room in her absence. She did not want anyone to find out what had happened with William, let alone Kitty and Lydia, who were incapable of keeping a secret. So, constantly seeing that book in her clothes trunk did not allow her to forget.
Jane was the only one who knew of William's existence, but she never told her that he was the same person as Mr. Darcy. Instead, she only explained that after so long, without knowing about him, she realized she was no longer in love with him.
She did not have the heart to overwhelm Jane with her problems. Even though she said nothing, she sensed that her life was not easy. After all, she had to deal with Caroline Bingley daily.
Elizabeth knew she should have thrown that book away as soon as she discovered William's true character, but she could not do it. That book represented those months of tremendous happiness in which she knew what true love was. That episode left a deep scar in her soul; she thought she could never overcome it. That morning, she was so gloomy that as much as she tried to start writing, she did not know how to begin.
Suddenly, the maid opened the door, and Mr. Darcy entered the room. "Miss Bennet, are you alright? I ran into Mrs. Collins and your cousin, and they told me you were ill."
Elizabeth stood up, placed the book she held in her arms on the small desk, and replied coldly. "I am well, sir. It was just a headache, and it is over now."
Mr. Darcy saw Elizabeth's pale face and the large bags under her eyes and realized she was still ill. He also noted the curt manner in which she answered his questions. But despite everything, she looked prettier than ever, so he was not concerned anymore.
"I am glad you are feeling better." Then, suddenly, he looked at the book on the desk, which looked a lot like the one Aunt Victoria gave him for his tenth birthday. "That book, is it yours?"
Elizabeth immediately covered it with a blanket. "It is mine," she said, sitting down without saying anything else.
Mr. Darcy wanted to look better at the book, but he was there for another purpose and must not get distracted. So, he sat next to Elizabeth and started to tell her some things that did not make much sense, but she hardly listened.
If that man did not leave soon, she would tell him everything she thought of him once and for all. But suddenly, Mr. Darcy said something that caught Elizabeth's attention.
"I think an honest and hardworking gentleman has a right to be happy. Still, one can be responsible and do his duty to his family and legacy. Do you not think so, Miss Bennet?" but he did not wait for an answer.
"Fortunately, I think I have found a way to achieve the perfect balance between my duty to my family and legacy and my right to be happy." Mr. Darcy took Elizabeth's hand and kissed it tenderly. He could not help but feel tenderness when he saw how perplexed she was. Indeed, she had lost all hope that he would declare his love for her.
For her part, Elizabeth interpreted his words quite differently. She understood Mr. Darcy was telling her he intended to marry his cousin and wanted her to be his mistress. He wanted to do with her what his father had done with Olivia. Elizabeth closed her eyes for a few moments because she could not bear to see the man's face anymore.
Mr. Darcy took this as a sign of acceptance. After kissing her hand again, he stood up and, standing in front of her, asked her to forgive him for taking so long to make up his mind. Also, he explained that from the first moment he saw her, he had felt a passionate admiration and regard.
"Despite all the obstacles and our significant social differences, I am willing to ignore all the objections. I do not want to repress my feelings anymore. So I am here today because I want to tell you how ardently I admire and love you, and that is why I want you to do me the honor..."
Mr. Darcy could not finish his marriage proposal because Elizabeth stood up and slapped him.
"Please, sir, leave at once. I do not want to see you again in my life," said Elizabeth to a perplexed Mr. Darcy.
P&P
Thanks to everyone who leaves comments and enthusiastically follows the story.
In the next chapter, Elizabeth will tell almost everything to a stunned Mr. Darcy :)
See you soon!
Saludos,
Yo