While I consider this fanfic to be finished and have moved on from such, I had this unfinished draft for Chapter 23 floating around in my personal documents and thought I'd polish it up and upload it as a little bonus for fans of this story.
Thank you for reading 'Of Coffee Beans And Mutant Outcasts'. Stay awesome, fellow meddling marsupials. (:
Lost Chapter: The Other Kind Of Twinsanity
The Doominator's eye crackled dangerously with electricity as the jeans-wearing Coco prised the casing off of it with a wrench, a few cables coming loose and flailing about, generating even more sparks.
"Oh, crud, it's happening again!" the mechanic cried worriedly, hastily stepping back from the device before her clothes could catch fire, as they had done the last time she had tried tinkering with the wreckage of the giant robot.
"I got it!" the overalls-wearing Coco assured her, spraying the metallic machination with a steady coating of foam from a fire extinguisher just as the robot's enormous eye caught alight, quickly putting the flames out before they could spread.
"Whew!" The jeans-wearing Coco wiped a trace of nervous sweat from her forehead, glad that things hadn't spiralled out of control for her. Again. "Thanks for that, me," she said before getting down on one knee and starting to unscrew another section of the Doominator's eye with a screwdriver. "Y'know, it's actually nice to have another tech wiz around for a change. Don't get me wrong; I love those meathead brothers of mine, but they're not exactly rocket surgeons. Know what I mean?"
"Well, it might help if you stopped calling them 'meatheads' behind their backs," the overalls-wearing Coco pointed out, though she couldn't help but smirk knowingly; her Crash wasn't exactly a mechanical genius, either.
"Heh. Okay, yeah, that's a fair point," the jeans-wearing Coco admitted, successfully prising the outer casing off the Doominator's eye as she spoke. "Oh, wow. That's a lot more copper wiring than I was expecting, and I was expecting a fair amount."
"Remind me again what you're planning to with this robot's eye?" the overalls-wearing Coco said, not looking up from rummaging through the nearby toolbox. "Something about turning it into some kind of entertainment system?"
"Oh, yeah, it's gonna be totally boss," the jeans-wearing Coco declared confidently, pulling her goggles down over her eyes as she picked up the welding tool that lay on the grass next to her and made it literally flare to life. "It'll play games, watch movies and dispense butter!"
"…Dispense butter?" the overalls-wearing Coco repeated, arching an eyebrow at her inter-dimensional counterpart.
"Uh, yeah. Gotta have something to drizzle on the popcorn for all those movies we're gonna download and watch."
"You mean download legally, right?"
"…Sure, let's go with that," the jeans-wearing Coco said after a moment's hesitation, prompting both of the brainy blondes to burst out laughing knowingly.
"Ah, look at us," the overalls-wearing Coco said as she stood up with a ratchet in hand. "Sisters across time and space, working together to build something that'll change the world!"
"So long as we can change the channel while we're at it," the jeans-wearing Coco quipped. "Hey, speaking of butter and popcorn, how 'bout we take a break and go grab a snack? Can't let Tawna and the boys eat all the good chips."
"I don't know about you, but I've got a really weird craving right now," the overalls-wearing Coco admitted. "I know it's the late afternoon, but I could really go for some-"
"Pancakes?" the jeans-wearing Coco finished for her.
The overalls-wearing Coco's mouth fell open in disbelief. "How did you know what I was thinking?"
"We'll, we are technically the same person," the jeans-wearing Coco reminded her as she stepped up to her counterpart, placing a hand on her shoulder and smiling knowingly.
The overalls-wearing Coco giggled. "Okay, yeah, that's a fair point." On that note, the two 'sisters' started off towards Crash of the Titans' house, walking in stride with one another.
"One! Two! Three! Four!" Crunch grunted as he went about his usual late afternoon push-ups regime. He then noticed Tawna coming over. "Oh! Um… Fifty-Five! Fifty-six! Fifty-seven…!"
"Really?" Tawna asked as she stopped before Crunch, arching an eyebrow at the muscular bandicoot knowingly. "You're gonna pull that old chestnut to try and impress me?"
"Just makin' sure the ol' biceps ain't going flabby on me," Crunch said, breaking off the routine as he got to his feet once more. "So how's about you? How many push-ups can you do before dinner?"
"I'm more of a freestyle fencer when it comes to workouts," Tawna said, reaching behind her and drawing her cutlass, the blade glinting in the afternoon sun. "Think that metal arm of yours can take the brunt of a few sword swings? I could use the practice."
Crunch grinned. "Heh! Please," he said, holding his metallic appendage at the ready. "That little knife ain't gonna make a dent in this here— Gah!" he then grunted as the force of Tawna's cutlass striking his steel wrist sent him staggering backwards to land on his rear, only able to stare up at Tawna, the adventurous bandicoot woman smirking down at him.
"One day I'll meet a man who isn't all talk when it comes to strength," she mused aloud knowingly, glancing away from Crunch and casually running the tip of her finger along the blade of her weapon of choice, drawing a single drop of blood just because she could. "One day."
"You're a lot stronger than you look," Crunch mused, really taking in just how athletically built Tawna was as he sat there, "And you look pretty dang strong."
"Maybe you're just not used to fighting an opponent who isn't intimidated by sheer bulk," Tawna declared slyly, giving Crunch a playful wink as she sheathed her cutlass.
"Oho! So it's like that, is it?" Crunch asked as he got to his feet. "You think I'm all brawn an' no brains, is that it?"
"No. I just think that too many men are intimidated by the idea of a woman being stronger and smarter than them," Tawna said casually, turning away from the musclebound bandicoot and starting to walk away. "I saw a rocky wall that looked like it'd make for a good climb over by the waterfall," she said, glancing back at Crunch. "How's about we see which of us can make it to the top first?"
"To prove who's stronger?" Crunch guessed.
"No. Just to prove," Tawna answered wryly.
Now Crunch just looked confused. "Prove what, exactly?"
Tawna didn't answer, simply walking away, her posterior moving in a way that caught Crunch's attention as she went, and something told the muscular bandicoot man that it was meant to grab his attention. He then shook his head as if to clear it.
"Women," he muttered to himself. "It's like they don't want us guys to ever figure 'em out, I swear…"
"Ungh! Come on! Come on!" Crunch grunted as he struggled to pull himself up the rocky slope, trying not to let the almost deafening roar of the nearby cascading waterfall distract him from the task at hand. A few feet above him, Tawna climbed almost effortlessly, her movements seeming to have a fluidity and distinct precision to them, as though she had already climbed this rock wall a thousand times that day and knew exactly where every handhold and foothold was located. She wasn't even using her grappling hook as any sort of crutch or cheat.
"Pace yourself back there!" Tawna called down to him over the sound of the waterfall. "You don't wanna slip and fall, 'kay?"
"What kind of idiot d'you take me for?!" Crunch called back, moving his metal hand upward as he spoke. "Pretty sure I know how to climb a- WHOA!" he then cried in alarm as the handhold he had grabbed onto broke away, the piece of rock crumbling almost to powder in the muscular bandicoot's grasp. He let out a fearful and uncharacteristically shrill shriek as he found himself swaying precariously, the fingers of his organic hand barely hanging on to the rock wall's surface.
"Stay calm!" Tawan barked down at him, the bandicoot woman having reached the safety of a small but solid ledge several feet above. "If you panic, it's all downhill - literally! Just take a breath and think about what you need to do!"
"Easy for her to say," Crunch muttered to himself through gritted teeth. "She's not the one danglin' by little more than her index an' her pinky!" He then glanced up, scanning for something - anything - that he could grab onto in order to steady himself. He could see a handheld that looked suitable, but it was just out of his reach. An idea occurring to him, he began to intentionally sway back and forth, preparing to use the momentum to swing himself upwards. Finally, with a desperate cry, he flung himself upwards, just barely managing to grab the handhold he sought. "Ha!" he cried triumphantly. "Not bad for a musclehead!" he declared aloud, not really caring if Tawna could hear him or not. He then started to climb further upward with newfound determination, soon reaching and starting to pull himself up onto the same ledge as Tawna. She held out a hand to him and he took it, knowing better than to let his pride get the better of him at this stage. Soon, both adult bandicoots stood overlooking the jungle's outskirts.
"Not too shabby, Muscles," Tawna declared, playfully punching Crunch in the shoulder - a punch that actually made the male bandicoot wince slightly.
"Yeah, yeah," he said dismissively. "So why'd you drag me all the way up here, really?" he then asked.
"I didn't 'drag' anything," Tawna responded without missing a beat. "You didn't have to follow me up here, y'know."
"So… it was all for nothing, then?" Crunch surmised, sounding bitter. Tawna rolled her eyes and grabbed Crunch by his animalistic left ear, causing to exclaim in pain and annoyance.
"Take a look at that!" she told him, directing his gaze to a spot by the river's edge, where they could see Crash and his Mojo-wielding counterpart trading blows in a friendly sparring match, the glove-wearing Crash doing his best to weave and bob around and out of range of the tattoo-bearing Crash's punches and kicks, the former occasionally managing to smack the latter in the gut with a well-placed spin attack. Crash of the Titans was no slouch either, occasionally managing to land an uppercut or the conclusive kick of a Norris Roundhouse. Despite having such different fighting styles, the two bandicoot boys seemed to be about evenly matched.
"Ah," Crunch said, finally catching on. He chuckled knowingly. "Yep, that's our little bros, each as goofy as the other."
"They're growing up fast, though," Tawna said. "Ah, they remind me of my world's Crash."
"Huh? But I thought he was your world's Crash," Crunch said, looking puzzled.
Tawna shook her head. "It's a long story." She shifted the position of her left foot, and was surprised when the toe of her boot met something soft and plush that didn't feel like rock. She glanced down and saw that she had stepped on what looked like some kind of… doll? She reached down and picked it up, turning it over in her hand. It was somewhat roughly stitched together out of bits of old orange and blue fabric, with brown buttons sewn on for eyes. What really caught Tawna's attention, however, were the several pins that appeared to be sticking out of the doll.
"Whatcha got there?" Crunch asked, seeing that Tawna had found something. "Oh, hey, you found Coco's voodoo doll! She's been naggin' me about that thing all week!"
"Voodoo doll?" Tawna repeated, really taking in the orange and blue colouring of the battered, somewhat creepy-looking doll. "But… Why does it look like Crash?"
Crunch chuckled. "Ah, you know how it is. Siblings bicker, they get on each other's nerves… and then they go and make dolls of each other to stick pins in as a means of stress relief."
"Yikes," Tawna muttered, turning the doll over in her hand, her eyes widening as she saw even more pins jammed somewhat haphazardly into its spine. "Hey, uh, these aren't actual voodoo dolls, right? They're not full of Mojo magic that makes the one they're modelled after feel legit pain… are they?"
Crunch laughed. "Nah. My Coco's got a bit of a temper on her, but she wouldn't do somethin' like that to her brother even on her worst days. Those two love each other to death, squabbles an' differences be damned."
Tawna smiled at that. "They really are Crash and Coco," she mused, speaking more to herself than Crunch. She gazed out over the scenery, her eyes moving from the two versions of Crash to the two versions of Coco, the girls now sitting on the grass just outside of Crash of the Titans' house, sharing a plate of pancakes that they had made, laughing and joking like old friends as they ate.
"Looks like Barista's showin' her pal Megumi her favourite meditation spot," Crunch said, gesturing to a spot at the deeper jungle's edge, where the bat girl could be seen eagerly dragging the azure-haired bandicoot woman across a wooden foot bridge and out of sight.
"Heh! Yeah, that Barista's got a lotta spirit," Tawna said, nodding in approval. "In some ways, she's more bandicoot than bat."
"And yet, she's still batty like nobody's business, Crunch declared, and the two adult bandicoots laughed.