Hi all, I hope everyone is well and happy :) Here's the next chapter.
Now & Then Chapter 5 - Overwhelming
John looked over to the bed, where Adam had curled up, facing away from them, then to the closed bathroom door, behind which Sam was tucked away too. Then he looked down at the file about his first-born, who was probably tucked up in a bed in a children's home not even knowing his own name. It was all so overwhelming, no wonder the boys were struggling. And Dean, they would have to tell him but how he would take the news was anyone's guess.
Warm hands rested on his shoulders and tried to massage out some of the tension.
"They'll be okay, John. It's going to be tough for a while but it'll work out."
"To hell with it. I'll just go over there, grab him and bring him home." John actually looked like he was about to stand but Bobby kept pressure on his shoulders to keep him in place.
"I want to too, but aside from probably terrifying the kid to death, it would bring down a whole lot of heat. We're not exactly in a position to answer questions from the authorities."
John shifted in his seat to turn and glare at Bobby. "He's my son!"
Bobby sighed and sat next to him at the table. "Who you never reported missing and who doesn't remember you." He tried to keep his voice calm, reasonable. "You think I don't want to go in there and shake the boy's damn memories loose? But we've got three boys to worry about here. We gotta do this right."
John glared and scowled and shifted in his seat. Then he took a couple of deep breaths before meeting Bobby's eye. "You know I hate it when you're right," he conceded. "But we need to tell Dean soon. The longer we don't, the less he'll trust us."
It was true, as much as they wanted to be gentle, if he thought they were keeping things from him or found out another way it would be worse.
"I've been thinking about that. I think we should do it together. All of us," Bobby said.
John looked startled at the suggestion.
"It's going to be hard no matter what," Bobby continued. "Having the boys there might help them all."
John nodded. "We need a plan for when I see him tomorrow."
now&then
Heart hammering, John headed down the steps to 'the old music room' where he'd been directed by Mrs Lewis. He heard the raucous roar of unsupervised children as he approached. He entered the room to see Dean, arms spread, holding the foreheads of two younger boys, each of whom were trying to hit and kick the other. Dean didn't look disturbed by the fight, more amused.
"ENOUGH!" John roared as he marched in. The room, which had been filled with the yelling of the two fighting boys, calls of kids encouraging the fight, calls of others to stop, laughter and jeering in general, fell still and silent so suddenly you'd have thought someone pressed the pause button. "OK you two, front and centre!" he ordered.
The two arguing boys stared at him and a moment later came to stand in front of him, looking up worriedly into the uncompromising, stubbled face.
"What the hell is all this about?" he demanded.
"He said I was stupid," one boy said.
"He said I was smelly," the other defended.
The two boys glared at each other and started bickering again.
"ZIP IT!" he boomed, silencing the room again. "Now drop and give me five, both of you!"
The boys glanced at each other. Then, because there was something about the man that would not be defied, started to do as they were told. Another boy, somewhere in the back, sniggered. John's eyes zeroed in on him immediately. "You want to join them?"
"No, Sir," the boy said, half-hiding behind the boy next to him. John let his eyes linger just long enough to be sure he'd made his point then returned his attention to the two boys finishing their press-ups in front of him.
"Now it looks to me like there's lots of work to be done, am I right?"
"Yes, Sir," both boys said.
"And all that junk needs clearing out?" He indicated a pile that had been pushed to one side.
"Yes, Sir."
"Looks like a two-man job to me. Unless you're not up to it?"
"Yes, Sir." The two boys headed off together, even looking a little proud of their assignment.
When he turned back to his son, Kid was inspecting him. John shrugged one shoulder and raised an eyebrow.
Dean had a cultivated 'unimpressed' look that John had seen him use against teachers, cops, angry hunters and several monsters of the teeth and claws persuasion. He'd always been secretly proud of that look. It was a very different matter when it was directed at him.
"You're Adam's other dad, right?" The kid asked casually, taking John off guard.
"Uh, yeah, that's me." John forced himself into character with a smile and held out his hand.
Kid took it and shook firmly. John felt a pang that the tiny hand, once swamped by his, was fast approaching full grown; the grip, once tugging on him for comfort or support, was firm, confident, and brief.
When John said nothing more, Kid let out a huff of frustration.
"You know in order to play twenty-questions, you actually have to ask stuff."
"Twenty-questions?"
"Yeah," Kid smirked. "You want to figure out if I know some kid and I need to figure out if I'll tell you even if I do."
John didn't know whether to hug him or cuff his ear for cheek. Wisely he did neither, instead he pulled out the file he and Bobby had prepared.
Years of subterfuge had not prepared John for his interview with amnesiac Dean. He'd prepared his questions, a fictional missing boy that, naturally, Kid could offer no insight on. He was able to accomplish the subtly applied checks he and Bobby had planned, Dean seemed to be – just Dean. Except he didn't know he was Dean.
There wasn't a hint of recognition but Kid was cautious with John. It was clear the teen was suspicious of him. John knew he stared a little too much, a little too long at times, and he eventually cut the meeting short before the teenager pegged him as some kind of pervert.
"Honestly, I still have no idea what it is you're really after," Kid said, standing as John did.
John sighed. "I'm just looking for a missing boy." He ran his hands through his hair. "His dad, he made some mistakes, and he's paying for them. He really wants the chance to make up for them, if he can."
Kid, whose eyes had watched every flicker while John gave this little speech, nodded. "Well, I don't know the kid in that file, he's not been through here since I arrived."
John wasn't sure, but he thought he'd garnered a little trust. Before he left, he extended the invitation he and Bobby had agreed on, to meet with the family for a picnic. He used the excuse that Adam would love to see him again as the reason for the invite. The Kid agreed but it left John feeling he wasn't the only one trying to gather more data.
now&then
"You've sure as hell got some timing," Bobby grumbled into the phone. He'd set the boys to work waterproofing their boots and jackets while he compared the file on Dean he and John had compiled against the one from St Michael's. There was a gap of about five months between when Dean had disappeared and when Kid had shown up at St Michael's. During that time he'd also crossed three states. How and why was still a complete mystery though.
"Come now Rob-Bob, you sound like you're not happy to hear from me," came a pleasant female voice down the line.
"Damnit boys, keep it down." Bobby wasn't sure about their gear but he was pretty sure water would just run off both boys for a while. "Sorry, Sandra. It's just been one hell of a week." Bobby removed his cap, wiped his forehead with his sleeve and then replaced the hat with a sigh, calming himself.
"Look, I've got something for you." The woman's anxiousness was obvious and Bobby pushed aside the notes he was reviewing to focus on the call.
"What?"
Sandra Moore and Bobby had gone to school together. They hadn't exactly been friends but they'd got along okay. Then, years later, Bobby had run into her on a case. She'd become a child psychiatrist and was treating a victim of a monster attack; the trauma having been made worse by the fact that no one believed the victim's story.
The monster he was hunting was not happy its prey had escaped and tracked the child to the doctor's office. Bobby made it just in time to save both. After that, Sandra knew the truth.
It had been helpful over the years. They had occasionally referred victims to her for help and she called them if she received a patient that may indicate something still out there. She was always careful about patient confidentiality though. She'd tell them any description of the monster, the where and when of the attack, but little else the victim shared with her.
Right now, Bobby needed to stay focused on Dean of course, but if she had a live one, he couldn't ignore it. He'd find someone to check it out.
"I've got a new patient. I don't think the, whatever-it-was," despite what she'd seen and the stories she'd heard since, Sandra still struggled with acknowledging the existence of the monsters. "Is still out there. The event was years ago. It's taken until now for the girl to talk about what happened to her. But I think it might be important."
"Why?" Bobby knew she'd picked up a reputation for being good with those 'crazy people' who told monster stories, so often saw patients with old stories they'd never been able to find a sympathetic ear for before. But she usually only called if there was a current threat.
"Because about four years ago she was saved by a boy, about twelve years old, cool leather jacket and warm green eyes."
"You're sure?"
"Pretty sure. I was provided a long and detailed description from her. He still stars in most of her fantasies. It's the right part of the country too."
It wasn't like Sandra to give details of what her clients talked about but he had told her about Dean. She knew how important the missing boy was to him. She always kept an ear out for anything that might be a lead as to what happened.
"Does this client know what happened to him?"
"This is going to be a slow process, Bobby. She can talk about the boy who saved her. But not much yet about what he saved her from and no specifics of what happened. I just … it might not be him but … I know how important this is to you and I couldn't not call."
"I appreciate that Sandra, and it turns out I was right about your timing."
"Really?"
"Yeah, we just found him. I was going to call you."
"You did?" Her tone was cautious.
"He's alive," Bobby clarified quickly.
"Wow Bobby, that's amazing. I can't believe it, after all this time, you must be over the … wait … why were you going to call me?"
"He's got amnesia, or something. He doesn't know who we are, or who he is even. The woman who runs the home where we found him thinks it's just trauma but you know as well as I do that it might not be that simple."
"The poor boy. How is he coping?"
"Surprisingly well considering. I'm not sure if he doesn't want to know or has just accepted that he doesn't, but he's gone the last three years at least without even a name of his own."
"There's more to that than meets the eye." Kids didn't just 'accept' having no name. Sandra was thinking fast. She couldn't be in two places at once. The question was, where would she be the most helpful? "I think I should stay here. Keep working with my patient."
"But …"
"Bobby, if he doesn't remember what happened and she does, she is our best hope to help him. Have you told him yet?"
"No, but we need to. Keeping it from him will only make him trust us less."
"You're right but go gently. Don't push him to remember. Let him work through it at his own pace. I'll call again after my next session with the girl."
"Thanks Sandra. And thanks for …" She had remembered what he'd told her about Dean. Had called with the 'tip' the moment she could. Had risked her precious patient confidentiality because she knew how important it was to him. He appreciated it.
"Any time Rob-Bob," she teased him with the old nickname.
now&then
Sam grabbed the edge of the blanket that had been caught by the wind and uncovered his smothered little brother despite struggling to stay upright as he was laughing so hard. Together they laid it out and pinned it down using the bags they'd brought with them.
Their dads had decided on an outdoor setting. The park was large and quiet, giving them privacy. They also hoped Dean would take the news better if he didn't feel penned in somewhere.
Bobby set up the barbeque while John checked the perimeter and set up some protections. He bought all of Dean's favourites, or at least what had been his favourites four years ago. He had no idea what Dean liked now. As he sorted through the bag of food, Bobby rested a hand on his shoulder briefly. John took a deep breath, discarded the squashed tomato, and wiped his hand. He glanced across the park again. There was no sign of Dean yet.
The boys were dealing with their nerves by sparring. Although, in the years since Dean disappeared, John had started raising his sons differently, he still wanted to ensure they had the skills and knowledge to protect themselves if they needed to. Sam trained relentlessly when allowed, though he did still keep up with his schoolwork as well. Adam, who had been mostly protected from the hunting world, approached his hand-to-hand and weapons training in much the way he did his homework; he'd do it but would just as happily blow it off and watch TV given the chance.
Sam indulged his younger brother and their sparring sessions tended to be sloppy with more emphasis on fun than technique. Still the younger boy was learning and had some of his biggest brother's mischievousness when it came to maverick moves.
Sam had pinned him under his arm but Adam reached around and yanked his brother's underpants up, giving him a wedgie. He used the moment Sam yelped to make his escape. Sam chased him around the small picnic site they had set up, with Adam trying to hide behind one dad then the other, knowing his brother had revenge in mind.
"Didn't anyone ever teach you not to pick a fight you can't win?" called a cheerful voice. The boys stopped immediately and turned at the call. Kid was walking casually towards them carrying a small box.
"Hey," Adam rushed forwards, glad to see the teen for more than just the reprieve from his brother's retribution. "What's that?" He looked at the box.
"Pie," the older boy grinned, holding it out to the eight-year-old.
John and Bobby shared a grin too. Well at least that much hadn't changed.
"Glad you could make it," John said, stepping forwards. With difficulty he restrained the urge to hug the teenager and settled for holding out his hand. Kid shook it firmly.
"Thanks for inviting me, Sir," he said formally. There was still that wariness in his eyes and it cut John to see it. But Bobby had pointed out that it was a good thing Dean was careful enough to be cautious of strangers.
"You didn't need to bring anything," John said awkwardly, indicating the pie.
"Miss Lewis said it would be rude not to," Kid shrugged.
They managed to get by on small talk for a while, Adam nattering away as he tended to do when he was nervous, distracting away from the awkwardness of the others.
"Can I ask you something?" He enthused to the teenager.
"You can ask," Kid mitigated, committing to nothing.
"Why does that other boy not like you?"
Kid snorted. "Malcolm? He's a dic … douche."
"Yeah but he wanted to get you into trouble, for no reason." Adam was earnest in not understanding why anyone would do that.
"Some guy came to St Michael's last year, made noises about possibly adopting Malcolm. Then he saw me and said he wanted me instead. I told him to get lost and he did. Malcolm blames me that he's still at St Michael's."
John considered his boy. He knew Dean's tells, even if Kid didn't know it.
"You said no for reasons other than Malcolm." It wasn't a question. Kid appraised him back.
"The guy gave me the creeps." Kid shrugged. "I'm not sure what he was really offering but it wasn't a loving home."
"So you saved this Malcolm and now he's pissed. Why didn't you tell him?"
"Where would be the fun in that?" The teen grinned.
Once they all had food and were settled in a circle with their plates, an awkward silence fell.
"So erm, did you find that boy you were looking for?" the teen asked, fishing for anything to break the tension.
"Actually, we did," John said. "But it's tricky, there could be some legal issues, and well, he doesn't really know his dad at the moment so we're not sure how to approach him with it." There was an implicit appeal for the kid's take on this.
"I guess that depends. Is his dad a good man?" Kid asked.
"He is," Bobby said, seeing John's uncertainty on the matter. "I mean, he might not be perfect, but he has a good heart, and he loves that boy."
"Do I know him?" The teen hadn't recognised the description John had given him but he was now wondering if that's why he was here in the park. They wanted his help talking to one of the other kids about some long-lost father.
Bobby and John exchanged a look.
"I do, don't I. What's his name?" Kid demanded.
Adam shifted closer to Sam, sensing his big brother was on edge. He pressed his arm against Sam's trying to be reassuring without broaching into 'girl' territory. The teenager's sharp eyes caught the movement and a slight frown wrinkled his brow.
"Well, apparently, he doesn't have one right now." Bobby brought the focus back to him. "Unless … Adam tells us you were looking to pick one," he queried.
The teen glanced towards Adam briefly, then tried to shrug it off. He didn't really want to get into the whole thing. It was … Then the implication of what they were saying sunk in. He stared disbelievingly around at them all, waiting for the punchline.
"I understand Adam made a suggestion," Bobby pressed on, trying to give the kid time to process before they went further. He and John had decided that he would do most of the talking. If Kid was inclined to shoot the messenger it was better that it was him. But Kid was shaking his head slightly, refusing to accept what they were suggesting.
"Look, it ain't no good beating around the bush," Bobby said. "You are the missing boy and your name is Dean."
Kid stared at him for a moment then a veil came down and he scoffed. "Long lost kids with amnesia? Someone's been watching too many soap operas."
"Except you do have amnesia, and you know you must be someone's kid," Bobby pointed out. The boy seemed to ponder this for a moment before looking at Adam.
"You knew this? That's why you suggested the name." Kid looked a little hurt or betrayed maybe.
Sam wrapped a protective arm over Adam's shoulder. Adam gave Kid an apologetic grimace. "But I didn't know that when I met you," the eight-year-old quickly clarified. "I didn't find out until after I brought you the lemonade money."
Sam was silent and mostly still, though he remained leaning into his little brother protectively.
"So why the cloak and dagger?" Kid asked. It was subtle but he'd shifted position to one that would enable him to jump up and run easily if he needed to.
Bobby held his palms out calmingly. "It wasn't our intention to keep anything from you but we had to make sure first."
Too many emotions were running through Kid's eyes for them to isolate any of them. They watched as he took a measured breath, loosened the tight fists his hands had formed.
"And you know my dad?"
Adam nodded and Kid looked at him.
Kid looked around the small family. His lip quivered and his eyes danced with confusion and uncertainty.
"I know this is a lot, Dean," John said gently. "We will explain everything, if you'll just give us a chance."
He had noticed the tension in the boy, the fight or flight building.
"Why should I trust you?"
It was a fair question but not one of the ones they had planned for.
"Because we are your family."
To be continued …
AN: Thank you for reading and please do leave a comment. It is always lovely to hear from you and I love knowing what people think might happen, or want to see. Best wishes to all and as always much love and thanks to Meilean and Churchlady63 for all their support.