Just a heads up: this was written in the span of a few hours today and has not been edited at all so there is likely some grammar issues but I wanted to get this posted before I talk myself out of it.
I've never written any story/one shot for the Horizon fandom before so I'm excited/nervous to share this! I had a small chat with someone on Tumblr about the lack of Varl/Aloy stories out there and I decided to get brave and write one. It's kind of a sad one and not the kind of stories we were talking about for these two, but it's the only one that came to mind for me.
Anywho, thanks for clicking on this! I hope you'll like it :)
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Pain.
So much pain.
It was all Aloy could think about as she partially sat up, her shoulders and head coming off the mat first before her hands found their way beneath her, partially propping her up despite the immense pain radiating from her side. She grit her teeth to keep from crying out in pain.
"Hey, hey, easy…easy there," a familiar voice said.
She didn't realize her eyes were closed until she opened them partially to briefly look at Varl before she felt around for the GAIA Kernal.
"Hey, hey, hey, hey - it's right here." Varl's voice was soft as he held up the Kernal in her view. He let out a chuckle that could have easily been confused as a sigh as he set the Kernal aside. "The way you were clutching it when I found you, I knew it was important."
"Where are we?" Aloy breathed out, now awake and eyes fully open.
"An outpost of the Utaru tribe. Not far from where you fell."
"How long?"
"Two days."
Aloy sighed in displeasure and placed more weight on the forearm nearest Varl, gritting her teeth and grunting as she attempted to sit up more.
"Arugh- hmm -mm"
Varl held his arms out to seemingly help her up but she held up a single hand and he moved out of the way and to his feet as he watched her get on her hands and knees before slowly standing to her feet, making various sounds of pain the whole time. She barely stood up straight before falling to a knee.
"Arugh — oh -"
Varl touched her this time, his hand lightly on the outer side of the middle of her back.
"Aloy-"
She held the hand closest to him up again.
"There's no time!" She interrupted, "I found something. In the mountains -
"west of Plainsong," they finished together.
"Yeah. Kept muttering it while I carried you," Varl said.
As Aloy started to limp towards the exit of the pod, Varl partially intercepted her path but kept stepping back so they wouldn't bump into each other.
"Look, Aloy, whatever it is that you found, you're in no shape to-"
"I will crawl if I have to, Varl," she hissed, a hint of the growl that tried to come forth lying between her words.
"Okay, fine," Varl conceded, "But before you do that, there's someone you should talk to - an Utaru named Zo. She told me there's been trouble in those mountains - a cave spitting out deadly machines. Can't be a coincidence, right?"
Aloy paused a small distance - maybe a foot away - from Varl as she took in his words before she continued limping forward, dragging a foot behind her.
"Well, why do we need her?" She replied, "Let's head for the cave- arguh!"
She fell forward as a surge of pain crashed into her. She was the one to reach out for Varl this time to break her fall, grabbing his forearm. She let out several shaky breaths as she regained her footing, slowing standing in an upright position.
"It's in Utaru territory. Her territory. She can help us. You'll see."
Aloy paused again, holding eye contact with Varl for a few moments before she let out a sigh of defeat, breaking eye contact to close her eyes.
"Fine," she whispered, "Let's go see this marvelous Zo, then."
Aloy got her conversation with Zo after helping with the land-god Re. The "sacred cave", as Zo called it, sounded a bit different than a typical Cauldron. Their land-gods would trudge in and come back out a couple days later, good as new. Now it was spitting out killer machines, which sounded like a typical Cauldron. The seeming uniqueness of this Cauldron made Aloy all the more curious to get up to that mountain. Of course nothing was ever that easy. Zo had to get the Chorus assembled to hear Aloy's request and she was in desperate need of rest. And since getting the Chorus assembled would take time, Aloy had nothing better to do than bed rest, which she begrudgingly complied to.
Varl watched as Aloy obediently laid back down on the mat in the pod, her back facing the entrance/exit that was partially covered by a blanket. Zo guided him away by lightly pulling on his wrist.
"She does not need you to help her heal. You could.. come with me to Plainsong," she said quietly.
Aloy carefully turned to her other side to face the entryway as Zo spoke, resting her head on her bent arm to act as a pillow.
"Lend your voice to mine as I try to persuade the Chorus. It might help her cause."
"I'd like to but I'm afraid she might…run off," Varl replied.
Aloy propped herself up on the forearm used as a pillow at his admission, her eye roll becoming a head roll as she looked at the floor. She couldn't get upset with him for the comment. She had made the choice to leave him behind in Meridian. Maybe it wasn't right that she had done that but she had done it to protect him. This mission was hers alone. She didn't want him or anyone else to get hurt.
"Really?"
Zo's response pulled her from her thoughts. Zo looked at him with an unimpressed look that disappeared in the blink of an eye. Perhaps Varl imagined it? He could only look at her with a neutral expression.
"Very well. Later, then," Zo said, a weak smile appearing so briefly that it had no chance to reach her eyes.
She started to walk away but Varl partially intercepted her path.
"Zo, wait! It's not that I…uh… don't want to go with you…it's just that I…"
"Shhh,"
Zo wrapped her arm around his neck, her fingers resting on the nape of his neck as she pulled him in and kissed him, her other hand resting on the metal plating of his shoulder. Varl wrapped an arm around her waist in response as he let her lead the kiss.
The pain in Aloy's side seemed to vanish as she looked at the shadow of Varl and Zo kissing. The pain was replaced by a clenching pain in her chest. Her heart felt like it was being squeezed to the point of bursting.
She was too late. Far too late based on what she was seeing. She had been so busy trying to save the world and busy trying to protect Varl that she never got to sit and have a heart to heart conversation with him. But where would she even begin? She didn't get the luxury of learning how to interact with other people during her first eighteen years of life. She didn't even fully understand the feelings that she had towards Varl. All she knew was she wished she was the one kissing Varl. Not Zo.
She blinked back the stinging feeling of tears as the kiss came to an end.
"Is that what you were trying to say?" She heard Zo say.
"Um. Yes?"
"Then I look forward to more conversation."
Zo pulled away, her hand brushing along Varl's as she walked away, a smile forming on her lips.
"Uh…yeah. Me too." Varl replied as he watched her leave.
He walked into the pod Aloy was in to see her sitting up again with more ease than earlier. She quickly pushed down the feeling of heartbreak as he held his hands out to stop her.
"You're supposed to be resting."
"Varl. You should go with her," she whispered.
The lingering feeling of heartbreak left her not trusting her voice to go any louder than a whisper for fear that she'd burst into tears.
"I'll get better on my own."
She felt a smile lift the corner of her mouth as she glanced up at him and then laid her gaze on the ground.
"You trying to get rid of me so you can..?"
Varl used the index and middle finger on his hand to mimic someone running away. Aloy let out a breathy chuckle as she lightly shook her head, a sincere look on her face as she held his gaze.
"No. Not this time. I'll meet up with you in Plainsong when I'm ready."
"You're sure about this?"
"Yes. Go," she chuckled lightly, a more genuine smile briefly crossing her lips despite the pain around her heart tightening again. "Get out of here."
"Okay. Zo! Wait!"
Aloy's face fell and her gaze dropped to the floor the moment Varl exited the pod. The pain in her chest and side seemed to blur together now. Why couldn't she ever slow down? Why couldn't she just let people in? She wanted to let people in but she just didn't know how. She couldn't find a door or a weak point in the tall walls she had built around herself except for the crack that Varl had managed to place in her walls. She punched it hard, the pain in her chest rearing its head as if she had physically jammed herself into a wall. The crack broke way into a hole just big enough for her hand to fit through.
She had to start letting people in. She didn't know how, but perhaps words was the way to go. Even if she didn't know what words to use, maybe they would still understand her somehow. Right? The idea of being vulnerable was terrifying but discovering that she had missed her chance with Varl was enough to make her face this fear head on. She had faced much tougher, scarier foes before. The people she was talking about were her friends.
Friends.
She had friends now. She had people who actually cared about her. Not people who hated her, shunned her, judged her, or were scared of her. People who saw her as just Aloy and not "Savior" or "Anointed".
With a sniffle, she looked towards the basket that held her gear before tapping on her Focus, the images of the three Zeniths and their clone of Elisabet appearing before her.
"Who are they?"
With her focus on the four mystery people from the HADES Proving Lab, the pain in her chest slowly faded away to be dealt with another day.