Eedy Dearest: Tales of Motherhood and Megalomania

A Dark Comedy for Dark Times

Syril Karn believes in order. He was never given any other choice.

Author's Note: This story is a series of oneshots featuring everyone's favorite dysfunctional mother and son from Andor. How did Deputy Inspector Syril Karn of Preox Morlana become the man we see hunting down his greatest quarry, Cassian Andor, and his one true love, Dedra Meero? Sigmund Freud may have an answer for us, and I do as well. I am hoping to publish a series of these vignettes over time. If you enjoy this, please follow, favorite, and review. Thanks for reading!

Coruscant, 31 BBY

"But mother, it's Life Day! Why can't we go out to eat?" a nine-year-old Syril whined.

"We have food here at home," Eedy Karn snarled at her son.

"But I'm sick of eating Crunchies!" Syril continued.

Eedy glared down at the skinny boy. "If you are so tired of the food I provide for you, then I suggest you go and find your father and ask him to come home and buy you something else."

"Okay, I'll go find him then!" Syril snapped defiantly, grabbing his grey, synthetic coat from the hooks by the door and turning towards the door.

Eedy let out a dramatic gasp and clutched at her chest. "Syril, you're going down a path I can't follow!"

"Good!" Syril hollered. "I'm sick of you following me around everywhere I go."

Eedy made a show of staggering around their small kitchen. "You're breaking my heart."

"You don't even have a heart, mother!"

"I'm losing the will to live!" Eedy sank down to the floor, clutching at the seat of their dinner nook to try and pull herself up. "Do you want your mother to die? On Life Day?"

Syril sighed and walked back towards the kitchen. "No."

Eedy froze and looked up at him, pausing her theatrics. "No, what?"

"I don't want you to die."

"Then help me get off of this floor! You know I have a bad back."

Syril wondered why she had thrown herself on the floor if she had a bad back.

"Oh, Syril," Eedy cried. "I'm so sorry. It's just been so hard since your father left." Syril's father had left over five years ago. "I've been a terrible mother." She covered her face and began to make noises that Syril guessed were supposed to be sobs.

"No, you're a wonderful mother," Syril said emotionlessly. He knew the steps to this dance that he was expected to perform. "You're the best mom in the whole galaxy."

"You don't mean that," Eedy said, continuing her pretend sobs.

"Yes, I do," Syril droned, patting her on the shoulder.

"Then eat your Crunchies." Eedy completely dropped her crying act and pointed at Syril's seat at the table.

Syril obeyed. "Aren't we going to do anything special for Life Day?"

"Isn't spending time together with your mother special to you?"

"Yes, mother." Syril knew what was expected.

"I'm sorry we don't have more money to celebrate," Eedy continued. "I was sure that when Sleepy Valorum left office, the economy would improve under Chancellor Palpatine. Everyone just gets in his way and stops him from making the world a better place for you and me."

Syril frowned. "If he hasn't fixed the economy, then maybe we should get a new chancellor."

Eedy gave him a thwack on the shoulder with her wrist. "Don't you talk about our Supreme Chancellor that way. Show him some respect. Besides, it's the senators who get in the way, like Lyin' Bail Organa from Alderaan. Everything that our glorious chancellor does, Bail Organa has to complain. He's a danger to the Republic."

"If he's a danger to the Republic, shouldn't the Jedi arrest him?"

"Ha!" Eedy thumped a fist on the table, causing a few Crunchies to rattle out of Syril's bowl and splash blue milk on the table. "Don't get me started on the Jedi! I pay all this money in taxes for the Jedi to live like kings and queens in a big, fancy temple on the highest levels of the city. When was the last time the Jedi did anything for you or me? Chancellor Palpatine should cut their funding, but then I'm sure that Lyin' Bail would just say he's eroding our institutions away. They're in it together, the Jedi and Organa. Mark my words, Syril, no good will come of it. All we can do is support Chancellor Palpatine and hope the Force will be with him, come what may."

Syril had seen Chancellor Palpatine on the HoloNet many times. He always seemed so kind and calm. He knew that people were supposed to listen to the chancellor, and it made him angry that some of the senators and the Jedi were stopping Palpatine from helping people like him and his mom.

"I want to help people someday. Just like Chancellor Palpatine," Syril said proudly.

Eedy beamed at him, pinching his cheek. "That's my good boy. Now you stay here and finish your Crunchies, and if you do, I might have a little surprise for you!" She hopped out of the booth and went back to her room.

Syril couldn't remember the last time his mother was excited about a surprise for him, so he gobbled down his cereal and drank the blue milk out of his plastic bowl.

Eedy returned to the dining room with a plain, white box made of thick flimsiplast.

"I begged Uncle Harlo for a Life Day miracle for my little boy. Look what mother has for you!"

Syril greedily snatched the box and opened it up to reveal a brand new coat. It was made of a firm, navy blue textile and came down past his knees and fastened in several places along the seam. He ran to the mirror and tried it on. It fit perfectly, and he felt important in his very grown-up-looking coat.

"I love it, mother!" He puffed up his shoulders and put his nose in the air like Uncle Harlo or a senator on the HoloNet.

"That's my little soldier!" Eedy exclaimed, clapping her hands before standing behind Syril and placing her hands down on his shoulders. She was a short woman, but she was still a head taller than her son. "Never forget that it makes a difference what you wear and how you wear it. You should dress like what you want to be."

Syril smiled at the mirror, where he saw his new coat and his mother smiling at him. It was the best Life Day he had ever had.