Lily Evans looked up from her breakfast and frowned. Only two Marauders had entered the Great Hall. That was very odd. One of them was still in the Hospital Wing, she knew, but it was certainly suspicious to have the fourth unaccounted for, even if it was Peter Pettigrew. But Sirius Black and Remus Lupin casually took some seats at the Gryffindor table and began helping themselves to breakfast.
"Hey guys. No Peter today?" Frank Longbottom asked, voicing the thoughts of those present.
"Did something happen? Is he all right?" his girlfriend Alice asked, alarmed. After yesterday's fight, everyone was a bit on edge.
Lupin smiled. "Peter's fine. He's still visiting James in the Hospital Wing."
"How's he doing?" Evans asked, trying her best to sound disinterested, and fooling no one.
Black grinned. "He'll be out and wooing you later today, Evans, fear not."
She snorted and resumed eating, wondering why she had not just kept her mouth shut.
Sirius Black, meanwhile, looked about the Great Hall warily. His eyes fell on his brother Regulas, sitting at the Slytherin table. He took a deep breath, got up, and headed over there. Gradually, the conversations died out and everyone in the Great Hall stopped what they were doing to watch him. They were all clearly recalling the morning before. The teachers especially looked alert. Ignoring everyone, Sirius walked straight to his brother. "We need to talk."
"No, we don't."
"Yes, we do. Now."
Frowning, Remus Lupin rose from his seat and carefully made his way over to the Slytherin table. He stopped at the end of it, a discreet enough distance away from the Black brothers, so that no one would think him a threat to Regulus. "Sirius—"
"I just want to talk with my brother, Moony. No harm in that, right?" he looked around at the Slytherins, some of whom had their wands out. "Right? Just a harmless talk between brothers."
Regulus Black gestured to his friends to go back to their breakfasts, and the two boys moved away from the Slytherins and began talking in low voices. Gradually, the conversations in the Hall resumed and people went back to eating, though the teachers kept their eyes on the Blacks.
Meanwhile, Remus Lupin looked down and muttered he needed to tie his shoe. Once he was crouching, with his front obscured from sight by the massive table, he pulled a rat and a dungbomb from his pockets. The rat picked up the dungbomb in its teeth and darted, unnoticed, under the table.
Wormtail's heart was pounding as he avoided the feet of the unsuspecting Slytherins. Almost as worrisome was the fear of dropping the dungbomb prematurely. And he was not reassured by the knowledge that Sirius and Remus would be furious if he screwed up. Sirius would probably shove a dungbomb down his pants, a thought that only made him even more nervous, if that were possible. It felt like ages before he judged he was underneath the center of the table. He carefully put the dungbomb down and, with his teeth, pulled the cap off the fuse. Then he scurried back to Moony as fast as he dared.
Remus had halted tying his shoes while he listened to the Blacks. He knew this was all part of the plan to give both him and Sirius clear alibis, but the conversation between the two had started to sound genuinely agitated, and he feared Sirius might not be able to control himself if he got too worked up.
"—I'm telling you, Reg, if you keep this up it's going to get you killed!"
"And I'm telling you, you'll get killed first if you keep this up! You saw what happened to Potter yesterday! Next time it might be you bleeding to death! Is that what you want? Because that's what will happen if you oppose the Dark Lord! Good grief, Sirius, save yourself and come back home before it's too late!"
"I'm never going back! You know fully well what it was like for me in that place, why would you want me to come back to it?"
"So, you'd rather die with Mudbloods and Blood Traitors than live with your own family?" his brother nearly shouted.
"When my own family screams abuse at me and wants to curse me every day, yes!" Once again, all eyes in the Great Hall were on Sirius and, once again, he was ignoring it.
Remus suddenly felt something like numerous pinpricks moving up his leg. It made him grimace, for while not exactly painful they were also too sharp to tickle. Trying to move normally despite the unseen rat now clinging to his shin for dear life, he walked over to his friend.
"Sirius…"
"Stay out of this Remus, I'm trying to talk some sense into this—"
"I've got plenty of sense! It's you who needs a good—"
"Sirius." Remus said firmly. "He won't hear you and he never will."
Sirius glared at his brother one more time and stormed back to the Gryffindor table. Remus joined him. "I'm sorry, Padfoot."
"I keep thinking if I just say it enough, he'll listen…" Sirius muttered.
"Kind of like what James thinks will happen if he asks Lily out enough times?" Remus said, trying to smile.
The joke did nothing for Sirius's mood. Instead he sourly looked around and said impatiently, "What's taking Peter so long?"
"I better go make sure he didn't get lost. Excuse me."
So, Remus left the Great Hall, but returned a minute later with his friend. They had simply checked to make sure the coast was clear, and then Wormtail let go of Remus's leg and changed back into a human. And now that he was a human, he found a seat and helped himself to a huge pile of eggs and pancakes.
"How's James?" Alice asked.
"He's fine," said Peter with a mouthful of food, "he was sleeping when I left. Covered in bandages. Looked like a mummy." His gaze went over to Lily Evans, who tried to look indifferent.
"Sirius, not having breakfast isn't going to get Regulus to change his mind." Remus said firmly.
"I'm not hungry." Sirius quietly replied.
"You will be in an hour, and then we'll get to hear you whine about it until lunchtime. So, eat now and spare us."
"Oh, all right, mother."
Since the talk between the Black brothers had ended without incident, the Great Hall had seemingly returned to normal. Constant chatter, scrapping of plates, people trying to cast spells or frantically finish their homework, owls swooping in and out; it was all just another morning at Hogwarts. Even yesterday's fight seemed largely forgotten.
And then—
There was a terrific bang and the entire Slytherin table flipped over, flinging all the food and dishes into the students on one side of it! People screamed! Then, before anybody could get over the shock, from the source of the explosion, a large reddish-purple cloud rose into the air above the Slytherins! Everyone watched, unable to look away and unsure of what they were seeing, as it solidified into a huge mass of jam. This then dropped with a squishy noise right onto the entire Slytherin student body!
Pandemonium broke out. The sudden shock of being covered in sticky raspberry jam caused many Slytherins to freeze and then scream. There were "ewww's" and groans of disgust, mixed in with students howling with laughter. And then there was the chaotic and deafening clanging of all the plates and silverware as one by one the Slytherins tried to get off the floor.
Their efforts to get up and get the jam off only seemed to make an even bigger mess. One boy tried to remove the jam on him by magic, only to mess up and make his robes start smoking (Sirius was very eager to find out exactly which spell he had just tried to cast). A 6th year Slytherin, red in the face with fury, threw a pancake at one of the laughing Ravenclaws. Others did the same to anyone in sight, and a food fight was on the verge of breaking out.
"Silence!" Dumbledore shouted. Everybody froze in place no matter what they had been doing a moment before. The Hall instantly became so silent you could hear a pin hit the floor. "Is anyone hurt?"
To his relief, nobody was. They were all a little shaken, of course, and the jam made them look considerably worse for wear, but amazingly, nobody needed to go to the Hospital Wing. Everyone now tensely watched as he approached and looked over the damage. He gazed at the scorch marks the explosion had created on the table's underside, and at the remains of the dungbomb that had caused said explosion. Then he looked over at the Marauders.
"Did you do this?"
Sirius Black stood up with all the indignation he could muster. It was hard for him because his stomach still ached from laughing. "Sir, everyone in this room saw that I never went near the Slytherin table!" There were murmurs of agreement. "Whatever caused that, it wasn't placed there by me!"
Dumbledore gave him his famous look that made you feel you were being x-rayed. He turned to the other Marauders present but did not speak to them. With a sigh, he muttered, "Innocent until proven guilty." He waved his wand. The jam instantly disappeared, the table righted itself, and all the tableware flew back to their proper places. It looked as if the prank had never happened. "Very well then. Everyone will finish their breakfasts and proceed to their classes, please."
"That's it?" the Slytherin boy Avery yelled, unable to contain himself, "that's all you're going to do to them? Those rotten clowns just dropped—" he hesitated as he tried to explain exactly what they had done without it sounding silly. "Err—I mean, they ruined my—breakfast and dropped….err…jam on me…and you're going to just them get away with it like you always do, you—" Dumbledore now fixed his gaze on him, and Avery decided it was probably best not to finish his sentence.
Dumbledore said calmly, "we were all startled by this, Mr. Avery, and I do indeed sympathize with you for your ruined breakfast. Be assured, I shall look into this very thoroughly and the culprits – whomever they are – will receive a punishment that fits their crime."
"They might have at least given us some toast to go along with all that jam! We could have had a banquet!" Lily Evans quipped, much louder than she had intended. The entire hall heard it. Even some Slytherins chuckled, especially when her face flushed so red that it almost matched her hair.
"That would have been very considerate of them, Miss Evans," Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling, "regardless, I repeat: everyone will finish their meals and proceed to their classes." He looked around, but there were no dissenters this time.
Concealing their hands beneath the Gryffindor table, the three Marauders gave each other high-fives.