Kiba was in the middle of recounting in great details how amazing his weekend camping trip had been when he paused to take a bite of his dinner and Naruto, making use of those brief moments of silence, jumped in "So, sexuality is weird right?"

Shikamaru groaned into his food. Even Kiba who was usually just as likely to jump from one topic to another in a single breath looked at Naruto like he'd grown another head.

"I mean, sure dude." Kiba said after a moment. "Sometimes a girl can do the most random thing, like literally just be re-shelving dumbbells, and I'm like Jesus Christ she is so hot."

Naruto sighed "Seriously man just let me set you up with Ino. We all know you're into her."

"I literally don't know what you mean."

"You know I work with her; I don't get why you won't let me at least put in a good word for you." Naruto hesitated "Though she agreed to swap her shift with me today, so maybe I shouldn't be punishing her like that."

"Hey!" Kiba leaned over to try and smack Naruto, who simply continued to dodge until the other boy got distracted about ten seconds later "How come you needed to swap your shift today anyway? Don't you always work Sunday mornings?"

"It's a long story. I'll tell you about it later. But going back to what we were talking about," Naruto cleared his throat "What do you think about that Shikamaru?"

"I just want to finish my dinner." Shikamaru grumbled.

"But I want to hear your thoughts."

"His thoughts on what?" Kiba asked, clearly confused.

Ignoring Kiba, Naruto faced Shikamaru "You find…different people attractive. That's interesting."

"He literally only ever has time for Temari. He doesn't even leave the house unless she drags him out. What are you even talking about?" Kiba asked Naruto.

"No, I mean like" Naruto sighed "He's…You're bi."

Shikamaru sighed.

"And it's interesting because how exactly did you know you were bi?"

Shikamaru sighed again, looking down at his dinner with a look of regret.

"Because we all agree that sexuality is weird, right? We established that. So how would one even go about knowing they're straight or not fully straight, or like bi, for example. You know?"

"I literally don't know what you just said." Kiba told Naruto point blank.

"Naruto" Shikamaru said, and Naruto perked up, gesturing for him to continue. "Just tell Sasuke."

Naruto immediately felt his ears heat up.

There was a moment of silence around the table.

"Theoretically, what exactly should I tell Sasuke?"

"Who's Sasuke? What is even going on here?" Kiba looked between the two of them. "I was gone for a single weekend."

"He's Naruto's boyfriend." Shikamaru informed him.

"Hahaha funny." Kiba said "Naruto is one of the straightest men I know."

"Well" Naruto said.

"What?" Kiba turned to him.

"We agreed that sexuality is weird, right?"

"I meant weird like you've always been into brunettes, but you suddenly can't stop thinking about this one blond girl weird."

"Kiba" Naruto sighed "Ino's single."

Kiba smiled, before immediately trying to cover it up. "Don't try to distract me!"

"Shika, help me." Naruto turned to the other boy.

"I don't know what's happening but are you coming out to us right now?" Kiba asked him, looking alarmingly like his next sentence would be accompanied by a bone-crushing hug and a full speech.

"No!" Naruto said. "I don't know."

"Don't you though." Shikamaru muttered.

"No, I mean, let's say theoretically, you've only ever been attracted to women, and then you find this one dude who is like, really cool. Does that make you bi?"

"I find a lot of men very cool." Kiba told Naruto like he was talking to a child. "Doesn't make me any less straight."

Naruto groaned "I mean like, you want to talk to him literally all the time, keep finding excuses to touch him, or like really want to flirt with him, and find everything he says or does…super interesting so you just want to…"

Naruto trailed off at the way the other two boys were looking at him.

"Yeah, maybe tell Sasuke that." Shikamaru said and then paused "Though perhaps less intensely if you don't want to completely scare him off."

"Seriously, Who the hell is Sasuke?"

"He's a friend. I think." Naruto said, hesitating over the word. The memory of Sasuke smirking at him that morning as he called them enemies flashed in his mind suddenly, and he swore he felt goosebumps rise on his arm. Seriously?

Like, seriously?

"Putting aside that he's a dude, how can you sound half in love with a friend I've never even heard about?"

Naruto tried to snort but ended up choking. Shikamaru gave him a few disinterested pats on the back, which he was pretty sure had he seriously been choking would have done nothing to help.

"I'm not in love with him." Naruto grumbled once he'd gotten his breath back "That would be crazy. We met on Tuesday." He paused "That would be crazy, right?"

"YES!" Kiba told him, "Are you seriously asking?"

Shikamaru just sighed for the third time.

Not too much reading, not a lot of screens, just light exercise.

I won't take care of you if you ruin your brain.

You will be homeless.

Naruto lay in bed and watched the screen as he sent the messages that night.

The response was almost immediate.

The way you talk, I'm starting to think you only want me for my brain.

Naruto snorted, though the message made him suddenly think about the brief moment in the hospital when he'd walked into Sasuke putting on his shirt. He'd been too distracted by the giant bruise at the time, but now he could recall a glimpse of the well-defined muscles underneath.

Naruto shook his head. Thank god for the asynchronicity of texting. At least here, he couldn't just blurt out something like 'You also have a great body' before thinking it through.

Except, he was now taking a long time to reply, wasn't he?

You caught me. I'm going to harvest it and sell it to be studied.

I don't think I need to be worried about becoming homeless in that case.

Naruto chuckled.

I wouldn't actually let you sleep on the streets.

I know.

You wouldn't even let me sleep in my own house.

"I can't tell him." Naruto said the next morning, causing Shikmaru to jump so badly he almost spilled his tea all over himself.

"Jesus Naruto, were you waiting for me?"

Naruto paused "Maybe?"

Shikamaru set the cup down on the kitchen counter and rubbed both sides of his temple.

"I need a cigarette."

"I thought you quit?"

Shikamaru shook his head "It's a lost cause."

"It's never a lost cause!"

Shikamaru sighed "Fine. Why can't you tell him?"

Naruto groaned "It's a lost cause!"

Shikamaru gave him a look "I'm going to have to leave for uni in 10 minutes if I want to be only 15 minutes late to my first class."

"Aright!" Naruto said frantically "Okay, quick version. Sasuke's not into me like that for one. Also, he's mentioned multiple times that he doesn't want a relationship. And he's way out of my league. Also, I really do think I'm straight, like I tried watching so much gay porn last night and still…"

"Naruto"

"Right, that's not important, maybe. Well…"

Shikamaru interrupted "Why do you say he's not into you?"

Naruto thought about it "A few times I felt like I was giving him the perfect opening to like make a move or whatever, but every time he pulled back."

Shikamaru looked unimpressed "Naruto, he thinks you're straight. He probably thinks you'll freak out if he 'makes a move'"

"I don't know about that, he made a comment about hooking up with straight men once, I think, he was sort of mumbling."

"Even if that's the case, what makes you think he was the one who initiated it?"

Naruto supposed he had a point there, but still. "Look I really don't think so. He wouldn't even say whether he thought men would find me attractive."

Shikamaru snorted "You asked him that?"

"Is that bad?"

"Well." Shikamaru chuckled "It's something."

"What does that mean? Shika? Was that bad?"

"Look" Shikamaru changed the subject "I don't know the guy, but he didn't seem like the type to stick around if he didn't enjoy someone's company."

"No, I know, but he's so hard to read sometimes."

Shikamaru sighed "I don't know what to tell you Naruto. Him not wanting a relationship seems like a bigger issue, but sometimes people change their minds about those things, you won't know until you ask."

"I can't ask him." Naruto repeated. "I really like him Shika, I want us to be friends."

"If you just want to be friends, then what's the issue?"

"I don't know!" Naruto said, then seemed to deflate "I guess there isn't an issue actually?"

Shikamaru sighed "There is clearly an issue."

"No, you have a point. What am I even talking about?" Naruto shook his head "I know it sounds weird, but he's important to me already. It's not worth risking that to have some half-baked talk about something I don't even understand."

Shikamaru gave him a musing look "I've never seen you like this."

"What do you mean?"

"You don't usually overthink things like this. You just go after what you want."

"This is different." Naruto said "Well, maybe it's not different actually. It's just that you helped me realize what I want is for us to be friends."

Shikamaru shook his head "I literally think you're already dating."

"Thanks Shika, this was helpful." Naruto said smiling.

"Your first date turned into your first weekend together" Shikamaru added.

"You're going to be late for class."

Shikamaru gave him a long-suffering look "I don't want to care about your love life."

"There is no love life."

"Don't t make me care about your love life."

"There is nothing to care about other than a blossoming friendship."

Shikamaru groaned, set his mug in the sink without washing it and walked out of the kitchen.

Are you on campus today?

It took Sasuke about 15 minutes to reply.

Yes, already in class.

Okay.

I don't have class on Mondays.

So, I'm not there.

Thank you for that information.

You're welcome.

Naruto groaned and then threw his phone on his bedside table.

There really was no issue, was there?

Sasuke briefly checked his phone and then immediately put it back in his pocket. He only had so much time to get home, change and have lunch between his Monday morning class and retail shift in the afternoon. Which meant, he didn't have time to indulge in any insanity. Like, for example, wondering if a straight man would choose to text him something inane.

Sasuke could already hear someone moving around in the kitchen. Sasuke sighed and went to join him.

"Well, well, look who's finally left their boyfriend's side." Suigetsu turned to him with a grin as he took his food out of the microwave.

"You sound jealous." Sasuke he took his own cold noodles out of the fridge.

"Please." Suigetsu chuckled "We agreed to be friends. Didn't we?"

"Friends?"

Suigetsu outright laughed this time "You're so cold Sasuke."

For some reason, Sasuke immediately thought about Naruto calling him a cold bastard but somehow making it sound like a compliment. He made almost everything sound like a compliment.

"Seriously though, what's going on there?" Suigtetsu asked him as they settled down to eat facing each other.

"There's nothing going on." Sasuke told him. "I know better than to chase straight men."

Suigetsu shot him a knowing look "I've never seen you even think about chasing anyone."

"Don't twist my words." Sasuke sighed.

"Karin said you took him to your studio?".

"Do you two not have anything else to talk about besides me?"

Suigetsu groaned "You know we literally don't. Every year I think we're going to get rid of her and find someone new, hell even Juugo could move in, and it would be better, but we never end up doing it."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. He could point out that for two people who constantly claimed to be annoyed by each other, the two of them spent an ordinate amount of time together, but he'd decided long ago to stay out of that particular relationship. Honestly, he didn't want to know.

"So?" Suigetsu said "Karin wasn't lying?"

"Why does it matter? He asked to see it."

"Come on Sasuke." Suigetsu laughed.

"I don't know what you're getting at."

Suigetsu reached over and poked him in the shoulder "You're telling me you don't find him attractive?"

Naruto had an unwelcome vision of Naruto sauntering about in nothing but a towel.

"The world is filled with attractive men." Sasuke replied.

"Exactly, and yet you choose to bring that one home twice in one weekend? Besides, where did you sleep Saturday night?"

"How is this any of your business?" Sasuke said casually as he took a bite of his food.

Suigetsu just continued to grin at him.

"Naruto is just a friend. He helped me out with something over the weekend that's all."

Suigetsu hummed thoughtfully "For what it's worth, this friend who you happen to find attractive also seemed pretty possessive over you when I met him."

Sasuke snorted "Really? You got that from the two sentences you exchanged with him?"

"I have a nose for these things. You should make a move."

Sasuke shook his head.

"You're telling me he hasn't given you any reason to think he might be interested?"

Sasuke thought about Naruto giving him that easy going smile combined with his intense gaze. What do you want Sasuke? Ask and you shall receive.

"You realize such a long pause is answer enough right?" Suigetsu said "So what's stopping you?"

Sasuke sighed "I'm not sure he is fully aware of what he does, but even if he is, I'm not interested in being a part of his college experimentations."

Suigetsu raised both eyebrows and shot him a truly surprised look.

"What?" Sasuke snapped, feeling a little uncomfortable despite himself.

"You actually like him!" Suigetsu said, sounding half giddy, half disbelieving.

"What are you, twelve?"

"I just didn't think I'd ever see this day." Suigetsu told him in the tone of a parent going to their child's graduation, which of course immediately annoyed Sasuke, though he tried to cover it up by taking another bite of food.

"Uchiha Sasuke is actually crushing on someone. After you broke that one dude's heart in first year, I really thought that you were…"

"Just stop." Sasuke told him easily, knowing that any hint of a stronger emotion would only set the boy off like a shark scenting blood. It wasn't that Sasuke couldn't handle him if he really got going, but he just preferred not to have to do that.

"Fine, fine, I won't tease you anymore. I know how sensitive it can be the first time you really like someone."

"Yes, you would know." Sasuke told him with a smirk.

Suigetsu snorted "Please, it was not you."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow "You're sure? Remember that one time you got drunk freshman year and told me…"

Suigetsu groaned "Seriously? You didn't bring that up for three years and now you choose to remind me?" Then he grinned "You're really desperate to distract me right now, aren't you?"

He must have gone swimming that morning. Suigetsu was always sharper when he came back from the pool, unfortunately. Sasuke sighed. He knew it had been a cheap shot, but he also knew that Suigetsu was entirely over his first-year crush on him, so he didn't feel particularly bad about bringing it up. He just felt bad that it hadn't worked as intended.

"So, you're really planning on just letting it go?" Suigetsu asked.

"There is nothing else to do." Sasuke told him matter of factly.

"I don't know. Karin said…"

"You realize you bring her up a lot, don't you?"

Suigetsu shot him a glare "Fine, fine, let's change the subject."

He seemed to clear his throat and shift a little in his sit which immediately alarmed Sasuke. Whatever could make Suigetsu uncomfortable wasn't something he wanted any part of.

"I need to tell you something, but you're going to flip out."

Sasuke just waited in silence.

"Fine. Okay. So, I saw your brother the other day."

Even though maybe he should have expected it, Sasuke felt his entire body go cold.

"What do you mean you saw him?"

Suigetsu gave him a cautious look "I mean I was leaving the house when he seemed like he was about to knock on our door, and I let him know you weren't home."

"He came here?" Sasuke asked incredulously.

"So, you knew he was back in the city? Anyway, don't take this the wrong way, but he seemed different."

"What does that mean?"

Suigetsu hesistated "He seemed more like how he was when he used to come over back in our first semester. Not like, you know, after."

Sasuke gritted his teeth "I couldn't care less what he's like."

Suigetsu gave him a look and for a moment seemed like he was about to say something but then changed his mind "Alright."

Sasuke took a deep breath. He hated how this could still affect him so much.

Despite himself a memory of Itachi coming to visit him his first semester came to him. Once, coming home from class, he'd caught him joking with his housemates as he waited for Sasuke. He'd told Suigetsu if he let any harm come to Sasuke, he'd personally take care of him. Sasuke had been a little annoyed but when he'd walked inside and saw Suigetsu looking genuinely terrified, it had turned into amusement.

He shook his head, trying to dispel the memory. It didn't matter. None of it mattered now.

He was doubly glad for his decision not to have told his housemates about the accident. He didn't really think Suigetsu would have mentioned it to Itachi, but why risk it? He knew all his friends had liked Itachi. Everyone liked Itachi.

They ate in silence for a while longer. Then Suigetsu asked "So you're not going to see him at all?"

Sasuke shot him a glare.

"I'm not judging you. The things he did, that was fucked up, no doubt about it. I just want to know what you're thinking in case he shows up again. Should I…?"

"Avoid all contact." Sasuke said.

"That's rude."

"And since when do you care about being rude?"

"Fine" Suigetsu sighed "It's just that your brother can be fucking terrifying."

Sasuke raised an unimpressed eyebrow at him.

"I hope you realize that following your orders could get me killed." Suigetsu muttered.

"He won't kill you." Sasuke said, "He prefers torture."

So how excited are you to see me again tomorrow?

Sasuke saw the message as he got out of the shower that night, and if he smiled, well, no-one would have to know about it.

So excited I don't know how I'll be able to fall sleep.

It's okay.

I'll buy you coffee.

Sasuke didn't respond for a few moments as he dried off and put on clothes. It took less than ten minutes, and yet, his phone kept pinging the whole time.

A caramel macchiato with extra syrup.

I think you'll really like it.

Hello?

Are you breaking up with me because I joked about coffee?

Fine! I'll get you an Americano with fancy imported beans watered with unicorn tears.

Okay?

Sasuke?

I don't want to break up.

!

Sasuke stared at the screen as the messages kept coming.

He imagined Naruto lying down in his bed as he kept on typing. He was probably incredibly amused by his own messages and wearing a grin from ear to ear.

Sasuke shook his head, because why did he wish he could see the sight?

For a flash he wondered how Naruto would react if he facetimed him, but he rejected the idea before it could even fully take shape.

Wrong number.

Nice try. I know where you live.

Who is this?

Hahaha very funny asshole.

Sasuke smiled at the phone, hearing the exasperation through the text.

Naruto had accused him a few times of trying to get a rise out of him. But could anyone blame him when it was this incredibly amusing to do so? It wasn't as fun as when he could see Naruto's expressions, but it was still better than nothing.

Blocked.

YOU DID NOT.

ARGH.

Is your head okay?

Sasuke blinked at the screen. How Naruto had gotten from one topic to another was beyond him.

Almost ready to be harvested.

That's what I wanted to hear :) :x

Sasuke looked at the message. He wasn't a big texter and normally he'd let the interaction end there, but he found himself tempted to send a follow-up, maybe ask what Naruto had gotten up to that day.

He thought back to his conversation with Suigestu, then shook his head and laid the phone down on his bedside table. Better not to let himself get too attached.

After a moment, he picked up the phone again.

Good night, Naruto.

Sasuke stared at the three dots as Naruto typed something, deleted it, and typed again.

Good night, Sasuke.