Part 1 - Kazuma

What the hell is this place?

While running away from Alderp's guards, we stumbled upon this place.

It was some kind of secret room located underneath the mansion. The room itself was dark and musty.

If an evil villain needed a secret room to perform all their evildoings, this would be the perfect place for it.

The oversized landlord that owned the mansion was sleeping on a couch in front of the fireplace while wearing a pair of strange goggles.

And cowering on the floor in front of us was a young man who seemed broken. Something about his head didn't seem right, but I couldn't tell what. He was also panting in a weird, disgusting way.

What the hell did that landlord do to this guy?

"Let me save that guy, Boss. Keep an eye on Alderp."

But when I tried to move forward, Chris put out a hand to stop me.

"No." Chris pointed her sword at the man in a vulnerable and weak state. "He– It's even worse than Alderp."

"... Huh?"

Has Chris been out of her mind today?

It started when she finally triggered a flag, causing the Searath to ambush us. Then she almost turned our chance to escape into another dead-end by entering an empty room that turned out to not be empty after all.

"That pitiful thing is Maxwell. He's a duke of Hell, and a disgusting devil." Chris said in a serious manner.

Yeah, she was out of her mind today.

But it was believable. His head was deformed, and the way he panted did not sound human at all.

But to think a devil with the same ranking as Vanir was reduced to this state by a weak, corrupt landlord?

I almost found it impossible to believe.

Just then, we heard a loud groan, accompanied by creaking on the couch next to us. Alderp was waking up from the commotion.

I watched the landlord spend an embarrassingly long time trying to perform the simple task of shifting from a lying position to a sitting position, all with his goggles still on, before finally taking off his goggles and noticing us.

"Ehh…? Oh! Max, they're here! What the hell are you doing sitting there?! Get 'em!"

Maxwell, still in his cowering position, looked up at us, revealing his handsome face, in stark contrast to the other side of his head.

We stared at each other for a long moment.

It's strange, the guy looks like an absolute mess. But for some reason, his presence was really eerie. My Detect Enemy skill pinged like crazy, but I didn't feel threatened by him at all in his state.

He stood there, looking at us.

Wait, when did he just get up? Did I space out, or was he just very fast?

Everything about his movements was unnatural. He looked like he'd been through a lot physically. Even if what Chris said were true, I couldn't help but feel bad for him.

"Is he really that strong? That old man looks scarier, which isn't saying much."

"Don't be fooled, Assistant-kun. He's a master of manipulation."

As we were talking, I suddenly started to feel weak. I could hardly lift my arms, and I struggled to keep balance.

Chris was also struggling to keep her dagger up, but otherwise seemed to fare better.

Why did we suddenly feel weak?

I couldn't put up much of a fight against Maxwell, who was in striking range of me.

Wait, wasn't he just–

I felt a punch land on my stomach, which sent me backwards on the floor with the wind knocked out of me.

"Watch out…!" Chris yelled as if Maxwell were still incoming, then she blinked several times. "Wait–"

The deceptive devil stared at me for a moment. "Yee– Yee– Your gasps for air are so good, boy!" He said with a raspy, yet smooth voice.

As I laid on the floor, unable to breathe, Chris weakly swung at the devil with her enchanted dagger. She managed to make a gash across his arm, releasing a combination of black smoke and blood.

The devil made a quiet, but disturbing, scream.

"Are you okay, Assistant-kun?! Ugh, I feel so weak…" Chris gripped her dagger tighter.

I was rolling back and forth in a fetal position, trying to make my lungs work again.

Chris, seeing the state I was in, used all her strength to continuously swing at the devil, who was able to dodge them by walking backwards in his usual unnatural manner.

"Who are you, tomboy? And what is that blade? I can feel an extremely strong bloodlust towards me emanating from that thing."

"I'm a woman!" Chris yelled while out of breath.

After what felt like an eternity, I caught my first breath of air.

Chris, angered from being called a boy once again, swung a few more times, but none of them landed.

I was still struggling to breathe, but at least I was breathing again.

I watched Chris collapse to one knee, exhausted from using her depleted energy on empty swings. Chris was still holding her dagger, which kept Maxwell just out of attacking range.

It seemed like they were at a brief stalemate.

That was, until I spotted Alderp approaching Chris from behind while holding a rusty metal pipe.

"Boss, watch out!" I managed to yell, but Alderp swung the pipe on her head, knocking her to the ground.

Our situation had just went from bad to worse.

Alderp was commanding a devil that could wear us out without much effort at all.

"Yee– Yee–, this is wonderful! I don't know why, but her dark emotions are so potent! I've never had anything this tasty, boy!"

In our current state, we couldn't even put up much of a fight against Alderp, let alone the highest-ranking devil.

Now I understand why Chris took him so seriously. Though, a thief and an adventurer against a boss who is on par with Vanir, isn't this a bit too unfair?

"Max, she said she's a girl, right?"

"I believe so, Alderp. Is there a problem?"

"Now that I think about it, she looks kinda good–"

Unfair or not, I had to save the one who put so much trust and hope in me.

How do I even– Wait, this might work.

Eris-sama, please lend me luck on the first skill I learnt in this world, the skill that you taught me.

I covertly used Steal on Chris while they were looking at each other.

Eris-sama, I won the competition we had when we first met. But this time, I won by stealing the item you set as the prize.

Taking out my rope, I used my Smithing skill to make a crude contraption with the enchanted dagger I stole.

Let's hope this works.

"Oi, you assholes!" I distracted them from her. "Create Water! Tinder!"

I cast the spells on the numerous paintings in the room.

"Ahhh! Do you have any idea how much time and money they took to make?! Maxwell, get him!"

And in one last act, I set the painting of Darkness on fire.

"NOOOOO!" Alderp angrily shouted at me as Chris groggily got up behind him. "Hurry up and stop him before he causes any more damage!"

Maxwell was smiling. "Ahh, what a nice surprise treat of anger from you Alderp! But I suppose I will like these emotions more from you, boy!"

Now's my chance!

"Bind!"

The rope wrapped around Maxwell.

"A Bind with ordinary rope, boy? This should be easy to take care of."

As soon as he touched the rope, it started to transform into one long snake, which released him and started slithering towards me.

This would've been very bad, except the dagger attached to the rope was still headed straight for him.

"ARGHH!" Maxwell clutched where his lower arm used to be.

Chris's dagger cut it off effortlessly, and the snake formed by him turned into dust. My tiredness also started to fade.

Unfortunately, the momentum carried the dagger away from me and wedged itself very high on the wall.

This guy was still way too strong!

"Oi, Max! Be more careful with him! That almost hit me as well! Hey, where did the other one go?!"

With both Alderp and Maxwell distracted, I saw that Chris had managed to escape.

"You're clever, boy! Losing my arm is inconvenient, but you can pay me back, boy!"

Still lying down, I lunged towards his legs and activated Drain Touch.

If he wants to drain my energy, I'll just take it right back! Then I could retrieve the dagger off the ceiling by jumping high enough.

Except, the moment I started draining, I felt molten glass flow through my system, and I couldn't move anymore.

"Yee–! What a massive swell of despair from you, boy! Ahhh, the feelings of pain and hopelessness, so pure. Manipulating the laws of the world around a low level adventurer isn't a big deal, but this is super delicious, boy! Maxwell became giddy like a child. "Alderp, Alderp! Can I keep him, please?"

I started to feel sick.

Crap. When paired with Chris, I excelled at thieving and dealing with simple or weak opponents.

But we didn't stand a chance against powerful opponents like this guy.

The devil sat down on the floor and grabbed my limp arm with his other intact arm.

This was the perfect opportunity to strike, Chris! Where the hell are you?

No matter what I did, this devil seemed to be able to manipulate reality to his will.

"Hey, wait, let's talk this out!" I pleaded. "Since you're a duke of Hell, you know who Vanir is, right?"

"Yee– Vanir…? Vanir…! That name sounds nostalgic!"

It seemed like he wasn't completely sure who Vanir was. I expected them all to know each other, but I can work with this.

"Well, me and Vanir are friends, so can we be reasonable?"

"Yee–? Why are you telling me what to do, boy?"

A dull crack reverberated in the room.

It was the sound of my arm snapping.

"Ahhhh!" Tears filled my eyes, and I felt the intense surge of pain travel through my body, but I was too tired and sick to scream for much longer.

"Yee? Yee–! It hurts, it hurts!?"

This guy will take orders from a fat, corrupt landlord who can't fight back, yet treats him like trash, but not someone who has a business deal with one of his own kin?

What the hell?!

More importantly, how did it come to this?

I was ready to live a peaceful life with all the money I earned from bounties and my business deals with Vanir.

But I threw all of it away by agreeing to do the castle raid with Chris, and even actively going out of character by choosing to be hot-blooded and charging through the castle at high alert.

Now I had committed high treason, and my head would likely roll regardless of my relations with the princess.

Does Iris still like me? We had such a great thing going, but I likely squandered it by taking advantage of the body swap to bathe with Darkness and Claire under her body, then barging into the castle and stealing her ring.

"Yee– Yee? You aren't screaming, boy. But your emotions are still so tasty, boy!"

I slumped my head to the side.

I was only making things even worse by breaking into another noble's mansion just a few days after that.

At this point, not even Darkness could save me.

None of the party members knew where I was, and Chris was nowhere to be found.

"Keep him alive, Max. This brat will be my hostage. This way, I can force Lalatina to give up her body in exchange for his freedom."

I gritted my teeth in anger.

Why was he so obsessed with Darkness? He had those paintings of her, and now he was ready to use me as a pawn to force Darkness to give up her body in a similar manner to what happened after I was arrested for blowing up his mansion.

The nobles in this world were way more evil than the Demon King!

"I love your repressed anger, boy!" The devil childishly hopped in glee. "Yee– Yee–! We're gonna have so much fun together, boy!"

Oh, how I wish my party were here.

Darkness would've happily gotten in his way and volunteered to take my place, while creeping him out.

Aqua would be itching to exorcize this devil.

Then, after escaping the mansion, Megumin would blow it to smithereens and put ourselves in even deeper trouble.

Please, let them find me at this perfect moment!

Maybe Chris was off to find them, and I would be saved after some time.

But that would take a while. In the meantime, I would continue to be tortured by the devil, who couldn't even remember one of his own fellow kin.

Wait, Chris sealed the entrance to this room with steel wires just as a large swarm of guards were trying to barge into the following room.

How would she even be able to get out?

Maxwell's giddy laughter turned into ringing that traveled through my ears.

Is this where it finally ends?

Not with our numerous encounters against the powerful generals of the Demon King army.

Or with my head rolling on the ground from the aftermath of the Mobile Fortress Destroyer fight.

Not even with the numerous deaths that were reversed thanks to the resurrection ability of Aqua and the bending of rules from Eris-sama.

But in spite of my pain, I couldn't help but think I was forgetting to consider something.

Maybe Chris could still save me.

The enchanted dagger was still lying somewhere. If Chris would return and retrieve it, she could land a critical blow and save me.

Please, Eris-sama, let her come back and end this… fight…

Wait–

Just as I came to an important realization, I heard a soothing voice.

I couldn't quite make out what the voice said, but at that moment, I felt a tingling sensation make waves over my entire body.

All my pain was gone, but I still couldn't move.

Then the soothing voice spoke again, and this time I could hear it clearly.

"Sacred Break Spell!"

A bright light appeared underneath me, and my arms shot upwards, suddenly able to move like normal.

Reinvigorated again, I immediately pushed myself off the ground and away from the devil without seeing where I was going.

… And landed directly into Eris-sama.

Part 2 - Kazuma

"Th-Thank you, Eris-sama!" I wrapped my arms around my savior.

Under the hands of Maxwell, I was ready to meet Eris-sama in the afterlife.

But instead, she was here in the room with me.

"K-Kazuma-san, your head is…!"

After getting healed, I immediately got away from the devil, but in doing so, I immediately bumped into Eris-sama.

As I hadn't fully gotten up, when I crashed into her, my head got buried in-between her breasts.

After what that giddy devil put me through, I wanted nothing more than to thank my savior, so I hugged my savior, not knowing what I was doing.

"So soft…"

"Kazuma-san, even now, you still manage to find a way to sexually harass me…!"

She was definitely wearing pads.

I didn't mind, though.

Wait, what the hell was I doing?

If I keep this up any longer, I'll incur divine retribution!

"Sorry, Eris-sama." I said, while still hugging her.

I waited another moment, before reluctantly letting go.

"Seriously… We need to have another long talk later." Then her face instantly grew cold, and she cracked her knuckles. "But first, that devil needs to pay!"

She started charging magic power in her right hand, which started to take on a light purple color.

I quickly stepped out of the way and watched Eris-sama launch Maxwell into the wall with her God Blow.

I watched in amazement as Eris-sama peeled Maxwell off the wall and delivered a flurry of blows with one hand while holding him in place with the other.

Several times, Maxwell went completely limp, then quickly shot up again. I can only guess that was the process of him losing one of his many lives.

During all that, blood and smoke were sent everywhere. Her hands and clothing were covered with blood and charred with black smoke.

Maxwell managed to free himself of her grip once, but he didn't get far before Eris-sama grabbed his ankle and dragged him back.

Eris-sama really is scary when she gets mad.

I got so engrossed with the one-sided fight that I almost missed Alderp escaping upstairs.

"I'll go catch Alderp, Eris-sama!"

"Wait, hold on." While holding Maxwell, she put a hand toward me and started chanting chants for buffs at me, including one I'd never seen Aqua cast before.

I felt every aspect of myself getting stronger.

Oh, how the tables have turned!

I felt more unstoppable now than I ever did in the castle raid.

With newfound energy, I charged towards the stairs, immediately noticing the substantial increase in speed.

However, several guards came into sight halfway upstairs.

I was hoping to catch Alderp at the top, which was blocked off by wires. But it looked like they made it through.

The guards immediately drew their swords at me.

"Flash!"

I immediately closed my eyes and blinded them.

But the Flash was so bright that it nearly blinded me, even through my own eyelids.

It seemed my spells were much more potent than usual.

To topple the mass of guards standing in my way, I used Wind Breath, which produced a wind strong enough to knock them off their feet.

With my buffed speed and agility, I easily jumped over the guards and made it to the top, where even more guards were waiting.

As I suspected, the wires were already cut.

My Enemy Detection went off, signaling some guards hiding around the door, out of sight.

"Create Earth! Wind Breath!"

I filled the room ahead of me with a cloud of dirt thick enough to make the room very dark.

I activated Lurk and easily made it through that room.

I ran along the walls of the mansion, checking each window before I had the idea to look from the large area in the center, which connected to a lot of corridors.

With that strategy, I quickly found Alderp running– No, waddling, towards a window, accompanied by two guards.

As I closed the distance, Alderp stopped to catch his breath.

In that moment, I cast a large torrent of water over them, landing directly on the wall. As the water flowed down past the window, I used Freeze to cover the entire wall with the window in ice.

During this whole raid, I was using more magic than ever, without ever draining anyone.

I was almost out of mana when we arrived in that dark cellar, only getting a bit of mana from Maxwell at a heavy cost.

But now I had practically unlimited mana.

Now that I think about it, why didn't I just have Aqua buff me more times?

That certainly would've made a lot of our adventures easier and saved me from a few deaths.

"Stop being useless and get him!" Alderp barked at the guards while completely out of breath and leaning on his knees.

The guards drew their swords and approached me.

I lifted two hands towards them, which made them flinch and stop moving.

After a long moment of nothing happening, Alderp got impatient and barked at them to do something.

I honestly felt bad for the guards. They had no chance, and yet Alderp was carelessly parading them towards the person who easily navigated past many more guards at once. He certainly didn't care about what happened to them at all.

The guards were sweating bullets, but they started moving towards me again.

When they got close enough, I cast Steal on both hands, retrieving the swords they were holding. I tossed them behind me and lunged towards both of them, grabbing their still-outstretched hands and draining them.

After watching the two guards collapse to the ground, it was now Alderp who was sweating bullets.

"W-What is it you want from me, chivalrous thief? Wait, let me clear something up, I-I was more than happy to, uhh… accommodate you back at the capital! And– And you donate the stolen money to the Eris Church, right? I can do that for you, no problem at all! … Hello?"

While Alderp was pleading his way out of this situation, I dusted off the dirt that stuck to my outfit after running through that thick dirtstorm earlier.

After a long moment of silence, I finally spoke.

"Why are you so obsessed with Darkness?"

Alderp looked around in confusion. "D-Darkness? What do you mean?"

"She's already messed up in the head. I don't need someone like you making her even worse, so buzz off!"

For some reason, I was becoming irrationally angry at how he'd been trying to exploit Darkness.

"I-I still don't– Wait, Lalatina? Are you talking about Lalatina? Y-Yes, I'll leave her alone, I promise!"

I knew if I brought the lie-detecting bell, it would ring like crazy, but I didn't care.

"And I want another pair of those glasses that can see through clothing. The one in your bedroom broke."

"I see you found that priceless treasure." Alderp smirked in a creepy way. "Y-You know, remember that mirror? We had a moment together, didn't we? Surely you remember."

Here he was, trying to appear as friendly as possible.

But I really hated Alderp trying to compare himself to me. It's completely different when he's the one who does it!

"Don't give me that! Don't you have another one of those glasses?"

"T-That was my only one–" Alderp flinched when I gritted my teeth. "B-But, but! I can get you another one, no problem!"

"Hmm… Nah. I'm not an idiot." I raised my hand towards him, preparing to use Bind. "You're too annoying. Bind!"

He was now wrapped in a rope, but most of the coils slid up towards his neck and groin area due to his oversized stomach.

As he fell to the ground, he cursed me and started shuffling his hand towards a pocket.

Before I could respond, a bright flash of light appeared.

When it dissipated, he was completely gone.

"Huh…? Damn it!" I cursed to myself and started searching the nearby areas.

After seeing no one, I resolved to break the window and look around outside.

But there was the matter of the window being encased in ice.

I could find a different window, but I had the urge to test how strong I was with Eris-sama's buffs.

I spent an extra moment winding up my punch before I smashed the ice wall.

Cracks appeared on the ice, but the ice wall didn't break completely.

"... My hand… Ahhh! E-Eris-sama! I-It hurts! My hand hurrrts!"

I kneeled down with teary eyes while cradling my hand, which was probably broken.

As I spent the next several moments whimpering in pain, the ice wall broke, and I could now see through the window.

I peeked out the window, and at that exact moment, my Enemy Detect went off like crazy.

The intensity of it made me jerk my head back in the window, and a giant wolf's mouth jabbed itself through the window, while I narrowly avoided getting eaten by tumbling backwards on the ground.

"You little bastard!" I cursed the Searath who was still tracking me. "Take this! Create Earth! Wind Breath! Flash! How about I put out that fire?! Create Water!"

I fought back, but all my attacks did was irritate the problematic beast, pissing it off even more.

When I noticed the wall starting to cave in, I immediately ran out of there!

Part 3 - Kazuma

I returned to the musty cellar.

All the guards retreated to the empty conference room, where I created another dirt storm to slip past everyone again with Lurk.

Eris-sama's beatdown on the devil hadn't slowed down at all.

At this point, both she and the devil were charred and covered in blood.

She had a psychotic, lifeless expression.

Eris-sama was absolutely terrifying!

To be honest, I sorta felt bad for the devil.

Then, a red and fiery portal appeared in a corner of the room, making a loud whooshing noise to grab our attention.

We stared at the portal for a moment until it started launching individual pieces of paper, filling the entire room.

When Eris-sama let go of Maxwell to chase after the portal, the portal shrank and disappeared before reappearing right under Maxwell. An arm wearing a tuxedo reached out and dragged him through the portal.

She immediately turned and chased after Maxwell, but the portal closed as she leaped towards it.

Having let Maxwell slip away, she slammed the ground in anger.

Then her attention snapped to me. She still wore the same psychotic expression.

When she slowly stood up while maintaining eye contact, I felt a chill through my spine.

"W-What's wrong, Eris-sama?" I stuttered.

Eris-sama briefly looked down on her bloodied hands, then back at me.

Is she mad at me because of all the sexual harassment?

I already apologized for that, so that can't be it.

Or is it because she learned about my Drain Touch skill and sees me as an advocate for the undead? I also got my mask from a devil, so she might've sensed it as well.

The charred and blood-covered Eris-sama started running directly towards me.

I put a hand up in self-defense and got ready to cast Drain Touch.

"B-Be reasonable, Eris-sama!… Eh?"

She wrapped her arms around me, but not in an attacking manner.

"I-I'm so sorry, Kazuma!"

I thought for sure I landed in her crosshairs, and I was the next victim.

But despite her scary state, Eris-sama was embracing me tightly.

"I… dragged you here and then left you alone with that devil…" She tightened her embrace. "I let you get tortured by that thing because I took too long–"

"O-Oh yeah, I was meaning to ask you what happened after you escaped."

"I ran up the stairs to transform, but his guards made it through, and I wanted to fight them off first so they wouldn't see me transform. During that time, I heard Maxwell break your arm." While Eris-sama was still hugging me, she explained. "M-My heart sank to the ground, and yet I still tried to fight off the guards so I could keep my identity a secret…"

Eris-sama started trembling as she started crying.

"Hey, it's fine. You did what you had to do."

To be honest, I felt at ease in this moment, even if the person passionately hugging me brutally murdered a devil countless times like a psychopath.

"No, I could've transformed right away and stopped Maxwell before he could do anything. I'm sorry…"

What is this feeling?

Ever since I was sent into this world, I have been repeatedly dragged into trouble, sometimes right as I'm on the verge of living a peaceful life with enough accomplishments under my belt.

In addition, I was never treated like a proper hero. Instead, the people closest to me were all messed up in some way, leaving no room for proper heroines.

And this…?

Even the flawless Eris-sama I knew of was passionately hugging me right after slaughtering a devil with no care at all.

And yet I felt more comfort than ever.

"I promise I'll make it up to you somehow, Kazuma-san…" Eris-sama sank her head into my shoulder.

"Please trade places with Aqua."

She relaxed her grip. "W-Well, I mean–"

"You already did more than Aqua ever did in this world. And more importantly, you're way cuter than her."

"That's what you say to someone who's covered in devil blood?" Eris-sama tilted her head down, her face rubbing against my shoulder.

This is really comforting! I don't even care if she's getting blood all over my clothes.

Within just a few moments, she was full of life, and her cuteness and gentleness radiated from her again.

Eris-sama sighed and continued. "Really, now… And I know senpai can be troublesome, but I don't think you're giving her enough credit. But let's talk about that later."

Eris-sama released me and looked down at her clothing, examining the state of it.

"I'm covered in blood…"

"Hey, there's guys back home who would fall for girls who are like this. "

"I think Aqua-senpai should stop calling my world weird, then." Eris giggled, then shamefully looked down. "I got your clothes all bloody, too. Sorry about that."

"Even with all that blood, you still have your usual charm, Eris-sama."

"Y-You've been acting strange lately, Kazuma-san. Are you okay?"

"Huh? Why do you say that?"

"You've been unusually confident lately, both in action and with me. Haven't you always been a bit… How do I put this in a nice way…? Very risk-averse."

Actually, now that I think about it, she's right.

I was the one who made the decision to continue storming the castle even after the alarm was raised.

I also didn't put up much of a fight when Chris wanted to break into Alderp's mansion a few days later, even though all the nobles would be on high alert.

On its own, this would be very uncharacteristic of me. But I had my reasons.

I wanted to save my little sister, and that night was my only chance to do so.

I had a grudge against Alderp for what he almost pulled in that trial, and how he took advantage of Darkness. Combined with my confidence being sky-high and forgetting to consider the high alertness, I chose to go along with this heist.

And with her? Ever since I found out her true identity, it felt easy to say what was on my mind, since I viewed her as an untouchable existence, the goddess Eris whom I admired, and as my friend Chris, who did stupid things with me.

"There's a perfectly reasonable explanation for that." I finally said.

"Hmm, if you say so, Kazuma-san. By the way, you're a really quick thinker. I'm glad your Steal finally worked on something other than...you know."

Wait a minute. I got her dagger this time and I already saw what happened to her underwear earlier. Which means…

"Eris-sama, are you currently–"

"Kazuma, you already saw what my divine wrath looks like, let's not test that further."

"G-Got it."

Eris-sama reached down to pick up a piece of paper that was ejected through the portal and examined it. Seeing her, I did the same.

"Oh? This looks like evidence against Alderp." Eris-sama explained. "But we're not using this. It came from Hell, so it's definitely a trick."

"Wait, you mean the actual Hell?"

That would explain the motive behind the fiery portal. It was to save their kin.

"Yes. That's why I was so upset when they successfully saved Maxwell from further losing any more lives."

"It's a good thing you didn't go in there, then. You were really terrifying here, but it would've been really bad if you got stuck there."

"I would've cleared the entire place." Eris-sama boasted. "Those burnt fries wouldn't stand a chance."

She said that in such a cocky way, but her body language told me that was just a bluff.

"As expected of my goddess. Oh, and I'll verify everything I pick up before we turn them in." I shook the piece of paper I was holding.

"I trust you way more than them… Fine."

I couldn't tell if Eris-sama really trusted me or if it was just her hatred for devils speaking.

She started walking towards a metal door as I kneeled down to gather the evidence. I only skimmed through them as I sorted them into a pile.

A loud creak echoed in the room as Eris-sama opened the metal door, revealing an assortment of items and a large pile of money in the center.

"K-Kazuma-san… I can feel my thief's blood boiling… This has to be at least several billion eris here…"

I'd never seen that much money in one place in my entire life in this world.

"T-This would feed so many children…" The dazed Eris-sama muttered as she cupped some of the coins in her hands.

After admiring the large pile of money, I continued collecting everything.

The portal that spat out everything aimed it away from the bloodbath, so every piece of paper only sustained a few drops of blood at most.

Actually, this was all physical, written evidence against Alderp.

Certainly, Alderp would've had them disposed of instead of stored in a safe place.

Maybe he had Maxwell dispose of them through Hell, or he was planning something with it.

I examined each paper more closely after coming to that revelation.

Meanwhile, Eris-sama was tossing every item into a bright portal she created.

I stumbled into the goggles Alderp wore when we entered. I held the goggles up to my eyes, but I only saw pitch-black, so I put the item in my personal bag.

After collecting everything I could find, the charred painting of Darkness caught my attention.

"Eris-sama, who was that on this painting?"

She glanced at me who was pointing at the burnt painting. Without walking over to check what I was pointing at, she explained. "Oh, that was Darkness's mom."

But why did he have a painting of both Darkness and her mother?

Did his obsession with her span an entire generation?

I shuddered at that thought.

I laid the pile of paper on the table and signed 'Chivalrous Thieving Brigade' on top of the stack using a marker I found resting on a whiteboard.

Man, a whiteboard would've made such a great patent idea!

But whatever, I found an empty bag lying somewhere and put everything in there before meeting Eris-sama in the vault.

"What'd you find, Boss?" I asked my thieving partner in her divine form.

"The items here aren't useful, if that's what you're wondering. Hey, don't be disappointed, Assistant-kun! I did find something for you."

She grabbed my arm and tied a bracelet made up of flat marbles around it. The Eris Church logo was engraved on the biggest one in the center.

Then she gently lifted my hand with both her hands. "It's said to have been blessed by Eris-sama herself, and wearing it massively increases the wearer's luck."

A gift blessed by Eris-sama, given to me by Eris-sama herself? This is wonderf–

"... But that's just a myth. It doesn't actually do anything. You have to admit though, it looks cool."

I want my heartfelt moment back!

Eris-sama giggled at my visible look of disappointment. "As much as it pains the thief side in me, I think it's for the best that we leave the money here. We would ruin any chances of earning our freedom if we stole it."

"Oh, I wasn't aware we had a chance."

"... I can't say for sure." She looked down gloomily.

"For now, let's see if my party will take me in."

"I don't think that's a good idea yet, Assistant-kun. It's only been a few days since that heist. And especially after they find out we were behind this one, the heat is still too high."

"So what the hell do we do then?"

"Leave it to your Boss! But first, let's get out of here. You examined all the evidence, right?"

"Yeah, it seems legit."

"I still have a bad feeling about this, but whatever. We'll turn it in to the police station in Axel, then get out of town."

Eris-sama closed the portal and started walking towards the stairs.

"Hold on, Boss. Aren't you forgetting something important?"

"Hmm? Oh, right! I should transform back to my mortal body." Eris-sama laughed awkwardly.

"No, not that. You're in your divine form, so why not just teleport us straight there?"

Eris-sama scratched her cheek. "W-Well, I could do that, but the process involves going through Heaven first."

"So just do that, then."

"I can't do that. We both reek of devil, so if we entered with that stench…"

Yeah, she probably has a point. Goddesses and devils hate each other.

"In that case, you must have a plan for the Searath still waiting for us outside. I should mention, it's activating my Enemy Detect like crazy from here. Oh, it appears to have broken into the mansion and is currently searching for us."

Just then, a low growl reverberated through the stairs and towards us.

"Y-You know what? Now that I think about it, we have a perfectly reasonable explanation for our stench. I'm sure they would be supportive, hahah–"

She opened another portal.

Part 4 - Megumin

"You shouldn't swear like that in front of the princess, Yunyun."

"You're the one trying to recruit her to your criminal group!"

"This is why you don't have friends. You always push people away."

"Th-This and that are very different! And hold on, what are you saying? I have friends!"

To ensure Yunyun didn't cause any more trouble, I whispered my plan to take her out on an adventure to Iris without Yunyun hearing us.

Iris would sneak out on her own and meet us in Axel under a disguise, but first, I needed to create a commotion in order to give her a window of opportunity.

Unfortunately, the only way to do that without telling Yunyun the plan was by using Explosion magic.

This meant I wouldn't be able to use it later today during our adventure, but at least I can give the citizens of the capital a show.

And with Iris's help, we can earn a lot more money that'll go towards saving Kazuma.

Having struck a chord with her friendship issues, she stopped complaining.

"Where are we going, Megumin?"

We were walking on a trail outside of the capital.

"Fufu, I'm glad you asked." I raised my staff and started chanting.

Yunyun made a high-pitched yelp and tackled me, but I'd already set off my Explosion on the open plains in the distance.

"Quick, Yunyun, teleport us back to Axel!" I exhaustedly ordered Yunyun, who was pinning me down on the ground.

"You're a big idiot, Megumin! You're the biggest idiot I've ever met! I should leave you here so you can finally understand that actions have consequences!" She yelled as the shockwave of the Explosion drowned out most of her voice.

"Please don't do that. What if someone takes advantage of me in my current state?"

"I don't think you should be worried about that!"

"What is that supposed to mean?! No, no, tell me what you meant by that!"

Yunyun moved away from me, but I reached out and grabbed her collar with my arm.

A loud siren blared all across the capital. "Demon King's army raid alert! Demon King's army raid alert!"

"Hurry and teleport us before they see us, Yunyun."

"You– Ugh…"

She started chanting for her teleportation magic, and after a few moments, we were at the gates of Axel.

Part 5 - Megumin

"On to the adventurer's guild, my Vice President!" I shouted as Yunyun carried me on her back.

"Wait, why are we going back there? Are you planning to recruit more members to your shady group? Even the princess isn't enough?"

"Stop calling our bandit group shady. And no, we need funding, so we're doing a quest."

"Didn't you already use your Explosion today? You're not gonna make me do all the work, are you?"

"This is where you get to prove your loyalty to the group, Yunyun."

"Wait, why did you use your Explosion then? You could've saved it for the quest! Hold on, don't look away–"

We made our way to the guild hall, but I had Yunyun take us to an alley nearby.

In front of us was someone familiar.

"Wait, is that who we're meeting with?"

"Well–"

The person sitting on a box in the alley wasn't Iris.

"Get away from me! I did nothing wrong– Oh, it's Megumin-san and Yunyun-san!"

Cecily, the priest for the Axel branch of the Axis Church, ran up to me and buried her face in my cloak.

"O-Oh, h-hello there…!" Yunyun stammered.

"Hey, Cecily-onee-san. Hold on, are you crying? H-Hey, you're covering my cloak in snot, so please get off!"

Having her do this while I was on Yunyun's back was a little embarrassing.

"You wouldn't believe what I went through today!" Cecily sniffled. "I was just trying to buy some pastries for our children, but the owner of a pastry shop called the police and shooed me away just because I was an Axis Cultist!"

"... I feel like that's not the whole story."

"Why do I feel like you're judging me…? Well, I put the pastries on the Eris Cult's tab, and the owner snapped. She said something like, 'Sorry, ma'am, we can't do that,' in such a hostile way…!"

That didn't sound hostile at all.

"So I stood up for myself by reaching for the pastries myself. I insisted it would be paid for on behalf of the Eris Church, but she still refused and called the police on me!"

"That was all your fault!"

Before Cecily could answer, a voice came from behind us.

"It's her! Hey, stop right there! What were you doing to those two children?!"

"Eep– They're here, so I have to go now. Please visit me soon!"

Cecily took off, running away from the police.

Yunyun set me down on the same box Cecily was sitting on, and we waited for our visitor.

I thought about Kazuma.

I was worried about him since he pulled off that stunt.

He almost found his way to us at the mansion, but we hadn't arrived yet, and Claire was there to stop them.

That was yesterday, so he should still be nearby.

I only vaguely remember his other partner, Chris. She was in the Thief class, right?

She probably dragged him into that mess, and he made the best of it, as usual.

Kazuma really became the coolest person overnight, and after seeing the large bounty placed on his head, I was motivated to do something.

Initially, I was tunnel-visioned into doing the same things those two were doing.

But right now, this group's primary goal is to find them and keep them hidden until the heat blows over.

After Kazuma got arrested after the Mobile Fortress Destroyer, we instantly folded under the threat of being arrested, which left Kazuma with no support until the trial. Because of this, he was sentenced to execution, which was only avoided because of a miracle of Darkness turning out to be a high-ranking noble.

I won't let that happen again.

They would have my full support this time.

"You never told me who we're waiting for, Megumin. After everything you did today, I'm worried about what you're planning next."

As if the world couldn't wait to make the reveal, we heard a voice.

"Boss! Yunyun-san!"

"Welcome, Ir– Alice. Did you bring your best weapon with you, like I asked?"

"Yes, Boss!"

Iris was wearing an unfashionable robe with the hood up. It didn't really do much for her disguise though, because her blonde hair and blue eyes still screamed royalty.

"Consider this your initiation. You've already officially joined our group, but you're at the lowest rank there is. This quest will be your opportunity to climb the ranks." Having regained just enough mana, I stood up straight and authoritatively.

"I will do my best, Boss!" Alice beamed with anticipation.

"The money earned from this quest will be used for funding to assist in the Silver-Haired Thieving Brigade's cause. First and foremost, it will be used to help us find Kazuma and his silver-haired leader!"

"We should find the highest-paying quest, then!"

"That's the spirit, Alice. Now, let's go!" We started marching forward.

Except–

"Yunyun-san, are you okay?" Alice asked a distressed Yunyun, who was sitting on the floor with her hands on her face.

We spared a few minutes for Yunyun before she finally calmed down.

We walked the short distance to the guild hall and went straight for the bulletin board.

"This must be your first time, so let me show you how the process works. Firstly, it's important to consider a quest that fits our strengths well."

"Got it!" Alice beamed, then shifted her intense focus to her task of looking through the large collection of quest posters.

"Can we please pick something safe? We shouldn't put the princess in any danger–"

"Princess? I'm not sure what you're talking about. I'm merely the granddaughter of the capital's chirimendonya store owner, Alice. I'm not the princess of any nation."

Yunyun paused for a moment before nodding obediently. "I apologize, Alice-sama. But can we please do something safe?"

"Please just call me Alice. And I understand. I'll find something that's easy, Yunyun-san."

"Yunyun prefers to be called 'my beloved best friend.'" I said.

"T-That just makes me sound desperate! Please, Yunyun-san is fine!"

Alice's eyes moved back and forth between us. "O-Okay, understood." She turned back to the board and continued looking until she lit up. "How about this one? It doesn't pay as well compared to the rest, though."

It was a very simple quest to clear a chunk of the forest to help a farmer expand their business.

"That won't be a problem! I can just use Explosion magic and… Ah."

Alice immediately understood and returned to searching for a different quest.

I searched for one with the highest reward, and one quest caught my eye.

"Exotic monsters managed to find their way into the ecosystem near Axel." I took the quest flyer off the board and read it out loud. "You will be rewarded for each monster killed or captured on a monster-to-monster basis."

Yunyun made a quiet yelp.

"Are you ready for your first test, Alice?"

"Yes, Boss! I'm ready!"

"P-Please, anything but that!" Yunyun cried.

Part 6 - Megumin

"Exterion!"

Iris, or rather, Alice, cast a bright flash that cut an exotic yet dangerous monster in half.

It behaved like a griffon, but with the scales and forked tongue of a dragon and bat-like wings. Its body was more serpentine, with a long, coiled tail ending in a stinger.

"Whoa, you cut through it like it was nothing!" Yunyun kept her stance, but was amazed by the display of might.

"I told you, Yunyun. Royalty is strong." I reminded her.

"Yes, my ancestors consist of the most powerful heroes in history, and I've spent my whole life in training and education."

"I sense a lot of magic power coming from that sword." I said while stationed behind her.

"Oh, it's a divine relic that's been passed down for generations."

We were so engrossed in Alice's strength that we almost forgot our current situation.

We were surrounded on all sides by several exotic monsters when Alice made the first strike against the griffon-like creature.

Yunyun was facing a creature that resembled a giant toad.

Except that it was covered with sharp crystals and gemstones.

When it revealed its tongue, we could see that it was also covered with the same materials.

Unlike regular giant toads, getting eaten by this one was actually dangerous.

"Light of Saber!"

The light spear reflected off his body, causing no damage.

"Wait, is it immune to magic?" I asked.

"W-What now?!"

"Exterion!" Alice turned around and cast her attack again.

The toad was also split in half.

"Huh, why did my magic not work but yours did?" Yunyun asked.

"It must have a weakness against physical attacks. My Exterion has physical attack attributes, so it would make sense."

"You really are powerful, Alice-sama…"

"Please call me Alice!"

There were still three monsters surrounding us.

In front of us was a human-sized slime that moved by jumping from one place to the next.

Behind us was a giant, wolf-like creature that radiated magma and fire.

And high in the air was a flying sledgehammer, encased in purple flames.

Who the hell brought these creatures into the wild?

"This is too dangerous! I'll start casting Teleport. If it's too slow, please feel free to use my body as a distraction to escape from harm."

"Everything you just said is way too heavy!" Alice gripped her sword tighter. "I leave the slime to you, Yunyun. They're usually weak against magic. I'll take out the rest."

Ah, she's very well-trained in combat. That makes sense given her access to education and duty as the princess.

I had no mana, so I just stood in between them.

…

"I just gained four levels!" Yunyun beamed.

"I gained a whole level! This is so much faster than eating high-exp food every day!"

With Alice's well-versed combat training, they easily took out the remaining enemies.

Well, except that the fiery wolf managed to escape.

"I didn't gain any levels today…" I complained.

"Isn't your level still much higher than mine, Megumin? You still got all those levels from killing the Demon King Generals, so you shouldn't be complaining!"

I slumped a bit and didn't respond.

We were walking past a familiar brewery when its doors were kicked open.

"You probably laced these drinks with something that makes breasts smaller, you dirty Eris Cultist!" Cecily shouted.

Meanwhile, Aqua was purifying a giant keg of ale.

"Please just leave me alone! I lost so much money because of you two last time! Ahh, that keg was weeks worth of meals…"

"Serves you right for trying to trick us!"

"You were harassing one of my customers over their body features! Please get out!"

"She was a demure Eris Cultist!" Cecily retorted before slamming the doors shut.

Aqua ran towards us, with Cecily trailing behind. "Megumin! Megumin! Did you see how despicable that man–"

"I don't wanna hear it. Please leave that guy alone, you two."

"Whyyy?!"

"Megumin-san and Yunyun-san! Can you two do me a favor?" Cecily asked while eyeing the same shop they just terrorized.

"I already tried."

She was probably trying to have me buy her alcohol in her place.

Cecily took a sharp breath. "So that dirty cultist tried to lay his hands on you two cute, innocent children… I'll teach that bastard a lesson!" She stormed back into the shop before I could stop her.

I heard a loud cry of despair from the man inside.

We might've had our differences, but I felt bad for him.

"So, did you get that wine for me like you promised, Megumin? I've been having a hard time keeping what you did with Kazuma a secret."

"P-Please don't put it like that in front of Alice! You'll cause a misunderstanding!"

"W-What did Boss do with onii-sama?"

"Nothing!"

I wanted to tell her that the same shopkeeper stopped me, but I didn't want Aqua to storm in there, too.

"Oh, you seem familiar. Anyway, to answer your question, Kazuma and Megumin took a bath togethe– O-Ow! What are you doing, Megumin? I was trying to answer her question!"

I pounced on Aqua before she could reveal more.

"I-I had no idea Boss and onii-sama had that kind of relationship…"

"We don't! Aqua, please hear me out!"

"Okay, I won't tell anyone anymore. Thank you for trying, Megumin." She walked away while humming happily.

Part 7 - Megumin

"Okay, we're finally back… Let me show you how to claim your rewards after a quest."

I opened the doors to the adventurer's guild wide, and all three of us froze when we saw who was standing there, immediately turning their gaze to us.

Yunyun got on her knees and prostrated. "I-I'm sorry! It was Megumin's idea! I got dragged into this!"

"Hey, why are you blaming me?!" I pointed to Yunyun. "She agreed to this!"

"Ir– A-Alice-sama, I've been looking everywhere for you!" Claire ran up to her without any hint of anger in her face. "I'm glad you're safe!"

"Claire!? How'd you know that I would be in this town!?" She exclaimed in surprise.

She probably didn't think that she'd be found so easily.

"How much do you think I know about you, Alice-sama? As a loyal retainer of my level, as someone who measures how much Alice-sama grows each week, as someone who counts how many times Alice-sama yawns in a day, as someone who would even measure the amount of times Alice-sama pushes green peppers to the side of her plate, of course I would see through Alice-sama's plans."

Ah, this person is a degenerate as well.

"C-Claire, though that is slightly disturbing, it is as I would expect of you! But to think that you would find me with such pinpoint accuracy… More importantly, can you let me stay with Megumin for just one day?"

"I cannot allow that, Alice-sama."

"Please! We still have to find onii-sama! He could still be nearby! You said he was here just yesterday!"

"Absolutely not. I'm afraid of what that man might do to me. Please have full faith in our royal officers."

Iris put her hands together in a praying manner and made her eyes sparkle. "Please…?"

"N-No, please don't do that, Alice-sama! Even if you turn your eyes up towards me with such a cute expression–! I'm sorry; please forgive me! I'm taking you to the teleport room. I'm sure Rain is crying while searching for you back in the capital." Claire turned to me. "I cannot thank you enough for protecting Alice-sama on this occasion. After we return to the capital, I suppose I need to increase the supervision of the teleport store so that Alice-sama cannot return to this town on her own."

Iris looked down in defeat. "Goodbye, Boss, my beloved best friend…"

Yunyun looked away and covered her face in shame.

I leaned in toward Alice and whispered. "Congratulations on becoming a member of our thieving group. Now that you've joined the group, don't think it'll be so easy to leave, alright?"

Iris's expression quickly brightened up. "Yes, of course, Boss!"

"W-Why are you treating Megumin-dono like your boss? And what were you two talking about just now?"

"It's nothing. Actually, I still haven't shown you how to claim your rewards."

She killed three of the four monsters, so we needed her adventurer's card to claim the rewards.

"Please?" Iris looked up at Claire with pleading eyes.

"We really have to get going– T-Those eyes…! Okay, fine, but please hurry." Claire sighed.

"Thank you, Claire!" Iris jumped with excitement and walked with us to the front desk.

Yunyun and Iris gave the front desk receptionist their adventurer cards.

"You are…! Ahem… Those are quite powerful monsters you three killed. Please give me a moment." Luna broke into a sweat and pulled out a small book from under the counter, flipping through the pages.

After a long moment of page turning, she disappeared in the back before returning with a sizable bag of coins. "Y-Your total is 34,500,000 eris." She bowed her head.

"W-What did you three do to make that much money…?" Claire was standing closely behind us the entire time.

"Oh, umm–" I nervously tried to think of something that wouldn't worry the overly attached retainer.

"We found some buried treasure!" Alice pitched in with excitement.

"Really? You must've gotten really lucky, then. I'm glad you had fun, but please, let's hurry for Rain's sake, Alice-sama."

"I'll give you your share of the reward later, Alice!"

"It's okay; please keep it. I want it to be used for helping onii-sama after all. Bye, Boss and Yunyun-san!"

"Bye, Alice."

We watched the doors close behind them.

"My life has been spared…"

"I told you, Yunyun. Everything's fine. You really need to relax sometimes."

"I'm glad it worked out, but that was still irresponsible, Megumin!"

"Whatever. More importantly, it's time to start our search!"