It was strange, but I felt a huge weight off my shoulders after I told her she would be living with me. I didn't have to wonder if I was or wasn't going to keep her. Even though I had so many thoughts and questions about it all, I knew this is where she belonged.
Eva knew it too. She got this huge smile on her face as she wrapped her arms around my waist and buried her head into my stomach. She was so happy, and that made me happy. I gingerly placed my hand on the small of her back, not expecting physical contact from her. It took several minutes for her to finally let go of me, but it was a welcomed surprise.
When we got to my place, she bounced over to the couch and sat down, kicking her feet back and forth as Eliza went over a few minor details—like locking my gun up when I was home.
It was doable. I was only responsible for one tiny human. How bad could I screw this up?
"You look worried." Eliza speculated, watching me closely as we stood there iin the middle of the living room.
"I'm good." My response was quet. Mainly because I was worried but didn't want to say the words out loud. There were so many unknown factors right now, I wasn't set on one solid emotion anyway.
"I think I know your answer, but I want to make sure taking Eva is something you still want to do."
"I'm sure."
"That's all I needed to hear." Drawing the paperwork and pen from her bag, she handed them to me so I could read over everything. When I was finished, I carefully signed my name at the bottom. "I'll go grab her backpack and suitcase."
"Thanks." Placing the papers on the coffee table, Eliza retreated out the front door, leaving Eva and I alone for the first time. It was strange seeing so much of me reflected in her. However, If I looked close enough, I swore I was looking straight at Garrett.
"Hailey?"
"Yeah."
"Nevermind." She shrugged timidly, wedging her hands tightly between her legs. "It's a stupid question."
"I don't believe you could ask a stupid question." I assured her, sitting on the edge of the coffee table. As a police officer, I had been trained to read body language. She seemed to be timidly feeling out her surroundings, which was fine. I just hoped in time she would learn to trust me.
"I know I said I was okay with you getting hurt, with your job, but can you try not to get hurt too bad?" She questioned after several moments of thinking about what she was going to ask.
"I will try my best to not get too hurt."
"Promise?"
"Promise." I swallowed hard knowing what I promised wouldn't always be possible. I had no idea of knowing the outcome of who we were apprehending until we dug deeper into who that person was.
As our conversation paused, the door opened again and Eliza dragged in Eva's suitcase; the backpack was attached to the handle, while she gripped the booster seat with her other hand.
"Okay." Eliza announced, shutting the door with the back of her foot. "We've got one suitcase, one backpack and a booster seat. I think, you are set. Am I missing anything?"
Eva scrunched her nose up in thought, then grinned widely. "Is my blanket in there?"
"We put it in your suitcase this morning before we left the hotel." Eliza reminded her as she pulled everything up the stairs.
"Oh, yeah. I remember now."
"I know you're both probably very eager to get to know one another, so I'm going to get out of your way." Crossing into the living room, she grabbed her purse and adjusted the strap across her shoulder. "I will be back in a couple weeks to see how things are going. In the meantime, you have my card if you have any questions or concerns."
"I'm sure we'll be just fine, right Hailey?" I just pointed to her with a feign of shock on my face. Was my daughter really five going on six?
"Oh, we're going to be just fine." I chuckled as I got up to walk Eliza to the door.
"You've got a good one in there." She gestured to the window where Eva had peeled back the blinds and was watching us as we stood outside. "I'll see you soon,"
"Thanks, Eliza." Watching her leave, I gave her a wave of appreciation as she drove away and headed back inside. Eva appeared quickly around the corner as I climbed the stairs up to the main floor.
"Can I put my stuff in my room?"
"Sure." Pulling the backpack off where it was hanging from the suitcase, she placed the straps around her shoulders and pulled the suitcase down the hall. I could tell I had one independently strong daughter on my hands.
Locking the door behind me, I grabbed the booster seat and walked up the stairs towards the garage and placed it near the wall. I couldn't quite bring myself to put it in the car until after I had figured out how to tell the team. Even if we had to go somewhere, I would take it out afterward to not bring up questions when I went back to work. Just thinking about it made my head hurt as I sat back down on the couch and let my thoughts take over. Again, I wondered if I really could do this. If I could give her the love she deserved.
"Hailey?" Eva interjected my thoughts while holding a Barbie doll dressed in a hot pink dress. I had fond memories of playing barbies when I was about six. I would have liked to think those were my better days of life before I had to grow up.
"Yeah."
"You okay?" Tilting her head in concern, Eva took a couple of small steps towards me and settled next to me on the couch.
"I'm okay," I assured her as she brushed her fingers through her barbie's long blonde hair. " I was just thinking about some things."
"About what?"
"Like what we're going to do for dinner." I teased, covering my worry with a smile. I wasn't sure I wanted to tell my daughter I was still worried about taking her in. Or how I felt like my head was going to explode trying to figure out how to tell my team. That or I had been hit harder than I thought by the man who had killed her father.
"Nu-uh." She shook her head back and forth, clearly not believing what I was saying. "Jacqueline and I don't believe you." Twisting her doll back and forth in her hand, she made it look as if her doll was disagreeing as well.
"Is that so?" Pressing my elbow against the couch, I rested my head against the palm of my hand and extended my other hand towards Eva to let me see her barbie. "You are both very smart."