I felt like I had been tossing and turning all night. When I finally fell asleep, I woke abruptly by the dream of Ronald Booth wrapping his hands around my neck and choking the air out of me. He sputtered about what a mistake it had been for turning him in, not caring if I lived or died. I could only imagine he was secretly cursing my existence in real life.
As my heart beat wildly against my chest, I laid against my pillow listening to the silence of the morning. It was an odd rush in the middle of a horrible dream realizing I wasn't alone in this house anymore. The little girl I had given birth to almost six years ago was sleeping down the hall.
She was mine. Mine. My stomach dropped at the word. For so long I had been alone that the word felt like a foreign word. One that would take a while to get used to. After her foster parents had died, I knew this could be my only chance to see her again. Now was it some sort of coincidence after nabbing Ronald Booth or whether it was Garrett sending her back to me, I intended to find out.
Still, why now? I feel like I just got my life back together. I had been a part of Intelligence for nearly a year and finally earned the respect of Voight and the team, which honestly was no small task. After Erin had left and I had transferred in, I often went home at night feeling frustrated and worn from trying to "fit in". So I hung in there and got what I wished for.
I had always prided myself on telling the truth to get me through doing my job, but now I didn't know if that same truth would get me through this. Not when I had no idea where to begin. It was obvious I couldn't keep Eva secret for the rest of her life. Somehow bringing her up would spark more questions than I had answers to.
It scared me to open up about my past to people who had all been working with each other for years. They all had this kind of bond I was still getting used to. I still preferred to do a lot of things on my own, mainly because of how I was raised. No matter how much the boys took me under their wing, I knew I had a long way to go.
"Hailey?" Eva rapped her knuckles on the door, asking the question she already knew the answer to. "Are you awake?" She peered into the room, looking slightly apprehensive as she stepped into the doorway.
"Hey, you're up! How did you sleep?" I asked, pushing the pillow up behind me as I sat up against the backboard.
"Okay, I guess." Eva walked into the room, lingering by the end of the bed. "The room is a lot darker than in my old room. Maybe we can put a night light in there?"
"Sure. I may have one of those somewhere." I told her, trying to think back to if I had any extra hall lights hanging around since I moved in almost a year ago. "If not, maybe we can run to the store after breakfast."
"Okay. A normal one will be fine. I'm not really into Disney characters or anything like that very much anymore." She paused, leaning against the bed as I pushed back the covers and stretched my hands over my head. I felt the slight pull from being knocked around. Even my head was starting to feel better. "Hailey?"
"Yeah."
"I'm happy no else but you came to the park yesterday. I guess I gave my picture to my mom after all."
"You sure did." I beamed, noticing the wisdom she already had at a young age. She was no doubt my daughter and I already say so much of me in her. "So, Eva?"
"Hmm?"
"What do you usually eat for breakfast?"
"Mmm…" She put her index finger to her chin as she thought about her answer. "Usually eggs, toast or pancakes. Sometimes cereal."
"All good options. What about french toast or waffles?"
"Not really. We usually just fixed something quick before I had to go to school. A lot of times we didn't even have time for toast or pancakes because I wouldn't get out of bed in time."
"You know your father used to be the same way. I couldn't get him up if I tried." I stretched my hands over my head, trying hard to not be sad at mentioning Garrett. I think no matter how hard I tried, I might spend the rest of my life trying to convince myself that he was gone.
"Really?" She even wrinkled her nose up like him as she leaned against the bed. "What was his name?"
"Garrett."
"You loved him a lot."
"I did, yes." Throwing back the covers, I placed my feet on the ground and stood up slowly as I gazed out the the neighbor's dog who was playing with his owner in the front yard. "How about breakfast?" I asked, suddenly not wanting to talk about this anymore.
"Sure. I'm going to get dressed first."
"Wait. Don't you want to know what I'm making?" I laughed a little, pulling my hair up into a tight ponytail as it brushed against my skin. She stopped for a moment at the door frame looking slightly contemplative.
"Surprise me." She called over her shoulder, padding back down the hall. All I could do was shake my head and smile as I watched her retreat. I pulled my hair up into a tight ponytail and walked back down the hall.
It had been a while since I had been around little kids, besides the occasional ones we had to deal with when we were on a case..I had always helped with my brothers, but now they were grown up and one even had his own family. We didn't talk much as each one of us was busy with our own lives, but I was afraid if they knew I had Eva, they would be hounding me with questions ranging from how could you hide something like this from us to you should have told us, we would have helped if we knew you had her.
Peering down the hall, I heard Eva hurrying to unzip her suitcase and get dressed. I had grabbed an elastic to pull my hair up and stepped into the kitchen to find the waffle machine. They had always been kind of comfort food I had always made for me and my brothers growing up. I occasionally made them since but most of the time I found myself skipping breakfast. Now that Eva was living here, I had more excuses to make more meals in the kitchen.