What If They Were Competent?

by Mr. Chaos

The Stipulation: One chapter a day. 500 words or less. Every episode of Rugrats. The Challenge: What if the adults on Rugrats were actually good parents? Watched their kids? Thought ahead? DIDN'T think it was fine for babies to nearly die every 5 days? Tommy is about to have a very different life with Stu and Didi actually using their brains.

255. Cuddle Bunny

Cuddle Bunny

"The babies didn't go to the party."

Melinda and Trixie frowned. "What?"

"They didn't go to the party," the creator stated flatly. "It was for Edwin. It was his birthday party. WHY would you invite random babies he's never played with to his birthday party? He's around between 5 to 10 so there would be nothing for them to do! Edwin is far smarter than even kids his own age and he wants to do things like play chess! So having the babies there is just a distraction from HIS birthday party. That is stupid and selfish of Didi and Stu. They just would get in the way… WHICH THEY DID! Stu was going to do the piñata for them and not Edwin. So they didn't go and Edwin got to have his party. The babies didn't even get upset because they are babies and wouldn't be sat down and told, "We aren't taking you to a party someone you barely deal with his having. So they just played in the back yard. The end."

"…I feel like there should be more to this story," Trixie pointed out.

"There isn't."

He just stood there.

"I mean it, there is no more to this chapter! No Lou fighting monsters. No torturing Dil. None of it it! This stupid episode doesn't deserve it!"

"…it was cute the way the babies loved the piñata," Melinda said.

"Oh, 100%," the creator agreed. "The parents were just very stupid to make the birthday party all about the babies instead of Edwin. In fact, here you go! Here is why they aren't there!"

~MC~MC~MC~

"Are you sure you don't need help?" Didi asked, standing in the doorway of the Carmichael house, bouncing Dil in her arms. Stu and Tommy had gone for a walk in the park and Didi had decided to see if their neighbors wanted any help.

Lucy shook her head. "We're fine. We have everything under control-"

"Are those honkies trying to bring their bland ass potato salad to the birthday party?" her husband shouted from the other room. "One we didn't invite them to?"

"Well… I was going to add some salt this time," Didi said awkwardly.

"YUCK!" Dil proclaimed, sticking his tongue out.

"EVEN THE BABY WITH THE MISSHAPENED HEAD GETS IT! PROBABLY WHY HIS HEAD'S ALL MESSED UP! BLAND ASS POTATO SALAD DOES THAT!"