Chapter 19: The Liar

Joe's mood was sour long before she reached Berkeley. The drizzly weather only accentuated it. It was a almost a week since Special Agent Rob Delgado rolled — more like flew — into town and he was finally going back to Quantico. Suspect dead, case closed, no more murders. All wrapped up neatly with a bow, leaving him free to disappear from her life again. But not until he took them all out for a nice dinner, of course. One big happy family. Joe could throw up in her mouth at the thought.

Last time she'd been at Berkeley it was to announce she was dropping the paper. Then she'd rehearsed in her car the whole way over. Now she had just fumed while the vocalist of the feminist rock band she listened to screamed her heart out. At least her rib seemed to be getting back to normal and all the bruises had faded. Derek wouldn't feel that anymore.

"Josefina! I did not expect you back so soon!" Professor Kane exclaimed when Joe entered the lecture hall. Joe cringed, the Professor always insisted on emphasizing the Spanish pronunciation of her first name. The college's mental health counselor had reached out to Joe when informed of her near-brush with death and given an automatic time off period of fourteen days, she suspected the information was relayed to the professor.

Professor Kane was arranging slides around on the PC, like she usually did in the half hour break before lecture start. She wore a multi-colored dress that reached the top of her pointy boots as she came around the lectern. "How are you? Really?"

"Fine," Joe said, wondering how many times she had to say it for it to ring true. "You got a minute?"

"Yes, of course," said the Professor and gestured for them to sit on the first row. Empty lecture halls always creeped Joe out when she worked as an in-class TA. It whispered of unfulfilled potential. "If this is about the paper, do not fret, we have plenty of time for the early fall-deadline."

"It's not about the paper," Joe admitted and wrung her hands. This had weighed on her mind ever since...well, ever since she experienced Derek's torture first hand. Everything else she could try and explain using science, but that? Not even she could make her mind jump through so many hoops to find a truth she liked. Deciding to just leap into it, she blurted: "I want to change fields."

Professor Kane's hand flew up to her glasses automatically, took them off and began cleaning them. Bangles shook. Joe suspected it was a way to buy time.

"You want to..."

"Change fields," Joe repeated. "Not from Social Sciences, but from..."

"Cultural sociology," Professor Kane finished for her. Her voice had a tragic undertone. "From superstitions and lore." Her thin brows pulled together in genuine confusion. "Can I ask why?"

Lying, Joe said: "My heart's just not in it anymore."

Seeing her professor's sunken face, she elaborated. "Because I've seen...things. Felt things. And they made me have doubts, if you know what I mean. I've been thinking a lot about it lately, and I don't really see myself moving forwards with this degree anymore."

The Professor nodded with understanding. They both sat there for a while, Joe letting the truth out and Professor Kane absorbing it. She knew she was considered Professor Kane's protege, but how could she ever continue researching or even teaching something she knew now to be...fake?

"Well, I must say this is disappointing news," the Professor said and leaned back with folded arms. "All this because you found out about real werewolves?"

"Yeah- what?" Joe snapped up straight in her seat, she must have misheard or something. Staring at the Professor who had a glint in her eye, she realized she had heard her just fine.

"Miss Delgado," she said slowly while Joe tried, and failed, to catch up to the sudden turn of events. "I have researched this field for almost forty years now. Do you think, even for a second, that I could have done that without coming across exactly what you have? I mean, they're good at secrecy, but not that good."

"What?!"

Joe could not sit anymore — she got up and paced in front of the lectern. "You knew? About this, about them?" A chilling sensation crept up her spine. "The attacks in Beacon Hills. You knew they weren't animal attacks all this time!"

"I had my suspicions," Professor Kane corrected slowly, not particularly pertubed by Joe's incessant pacing. "All over now, I should assume?"

"You knew they weren't animal attacks and you still had me look into it? Why?" Joe's voice broke on the last word. This was it. Her last safe haven demolished, trampled beyond recognition. First Kate, then Jimmy, now Professor Kane. Did she have a tag on her bak that spelled 'SUCKER'?

"Well," the Professor straightened out the skirt of her dress, "you would never have believed me if I came out and told you directly."

"Because you taught me the opposite!" Joe's voice echoed through the lecture hall and she lowered her voice in case a couple of students wandered in early. "For five years! I sat through God knows how many of your lectures where you specifically say over and over again that they are just part of an overactive imagination! Mass hysteria! Human behavior!"

"And do you understand why I do that?"

"Will you stop talking to me like I'm a rational person?!" Joe snapped, realized how it sounded and threw her head back with a grunt. "We're not brainstorming! I just found out you've been lying to me-"

Professor Kane nodded. "To everyone."

"To everyone for, what'd you say, forty years?"

"Because...?" Professor Kane prompted.

Despite herself, Joe tried to employ the same way of thinking her professor had always taught her. She shook her head to stop it, crossed her arms and glared defiantly at Professor Kane,t the liar, the fraud, the agnostic know-it-all.

"Why have I devoted my entire career convincing the world that what they thought they saw, what they thought they heard, what they thought they knew...was just in their head?" Seeing Joe's lack of response, Professor Kane picked delicately at her bangles. "What would happen if the truth came out, Miss Delgado?"

What would happen? If the public found out about them...

"What always happens," Joe answered, thinking in her mind of all the burnings, all the hangings, torture, lynchings of just alleged monsters, who might not be so alleged after all.

"What always happens," Professor Kane agreed. "People are afraid. They become angry. They lash out. Werewolves — well, werecreatures in general — have dwindled in number the last century, but they have never been populous at any point in history."

Without pausing to let Joe keep up, Professor Kane continued: "One particularly famous Roman emperor tried to create an army of werewolves, did you know that? A catastrophically failed experiment. Not everyone is receptive to the turning, that was one thing. Some did not turn into what was expected. No, werewolves will never be in the majority. They choose a life in seclusion, in hiding, most living quite ordinarily among humans."

"You're...you're protecting them?" Joe whispered, the only plausible explanation she could think of. Something in her Professor's tone, in her eyes — a softness when she spoke of the creatures.

She nodded. "Yes, I suppose that would be an accurate description." Professor Kane checked her watch that hung on a chain around her neck and got up from the seat. "Five minutes until class. If they are on time." She walked past Joe to the lectern and tidied up her notes. "Should we discuss this at another , perhaps?"

"Help me change my program." Joe still had her arms crossed, but her voice lacked the authority she wanted. "Please."

"Miss Delgado, you are still missing the reason I put you on this assignment, why I hoped you would find the truth on your own." Joe did not even try to guess and Professor Kane sighed. "I understand your mind is still polluted after what I assume were traumatic events. Very well, if I must spell it out, I am looking for a successor. I have done this job for forty years, and at one point, I would like to retire to the seaside with my spouse."

Joe scoffed. "You want me to...to be you?"

"Not me exactly," Professor Kane said while rolling her eyes. "There's only one of me. But you remind me so much of myself at your age. Young, ambitious, driven...you have great academic potential."

"I don't think I'm the right person for the job," Joe said quietly just as the double doors opened and a steady stream of undergrads sidled in.

"Can I ask you to take some time to reconsider? I will..." Professor Kane stopped to smile at some students. She sighed. "I will look into the bureaucratics of changing your program, if you insist. What did you have in mind?"

No hesitation on Joe's part. "Criminology."

"Ugh, law enforcement?" Professor Kane wrinkled her nose. "Really? Fine."

The Professor shooed her out of there when the hall began to fill up with students, their laptops and a multitude of different coffee drinks. Coffee had an appeal to it, and Joe did not want to go home yet knowing her dad would be there. Probably playing catch in the yard with Scott. He'd always wanted a boy, she was sure of it.

He would probably love to hear she was interested in Criminology. Academically, it was not that far a stretch from her previous program. Instead of looking at the general population, you focused more on diverse groups of criminals. Both were part of the Department of Social Sciences and Psychology. Joe had sworn up and down that she would never follow in his footsteps and had absolutely no plans of telling him about it.

The institute would probably make her explain why she wanted to change her program at this point in her degree. She wondered how she could explain that with the last few weeks, nothing made sense except the crimes. Where the werewolves and supernatural elements threw everything she had learned into a new light, the murders still made sense. Professor Kane's betrayal just sealed the deal. All those hours, weeks, and years of working with her and she had been lying in Joe's face.

In the campus coffee shop, she ordered something completely different, an iced dirty chai, and sipped it with a grimace. Chai was tea, dirty meant they added espresso — coffee and tea did not match. She regretfully brought it with her to a corner table, wishing she'd gone for her regular instead.

Joe found herself scrolling through Professor Kane's academic record on her laptop. Papers, books, lectures, conferences — she had kept the lie going for almost half a century. Joe wondered if it was because she was such a poor liar herself that she seemed unable to spot other people's falsehoods? Come on, who hadn't fooled her at this point?

Stiles with the steroids, Scott with the 'oh-no-everything-is-okay', Kate with the feigned interest in her, Jimmy with the multitude of coincidences and now Professor Kane with Joe's entire academic career. Five years. Five goddamn years!

She realized she was pounding the keyboard-buttons on her laptop with furiosity and forced herself to stop. Getting it repaired was not part of her budget. Missing so many tutoring sessions, getting a leave from the TA-job, one she'd probably have to leave anyway if she switched programs...ya girl was broke. Ten bucks that was not a topic her dad would bring up during family dinner later today. Not that she could afford to wager ten bucks, even with the best odds possible.

Locked in suppressed anger, it did not improve when someone had the audacity to slide into the other chair at her table.

"Excuse me, that's not a free seat," she pointed out and slammed down her laptop screen to glare at the intruder. Instead of whatever college freshman who was trying to shoot his shot, she found herself staring at Derek Hale. He seemed unbothered at her scowling and put a steaming cup onto her side of the table.

It smelled like an oatmilk cappucino.

"The barista knew your order," Derek answered even though she did not pose the question. "Can we talk?"

"Thanks, and no, I'd rather not," Joe said and exchanged her iced wannabe-coffee with her regular serving of foamy deliciousness. She inhaled the sprinkles, but found Derek's scent overpowering. "Not a great day today."

Derek leaned forwards, leather creaking in his jacket, and his eyes flashed red, so deep it could not be explained by a trick of the light. "I'm not here to talk about your day."

"Do you want to talk about how I got you acquited for murder? You're welcome," Joe said over her cappucino.

He looked unamused. "A murder I didn't commit in the first place."

"But you were still the only suspect. I'm claiming the praise here," Joe said and focused on the coffee, the smell of the coffee, the taste of the coffee, and not at all Derek Hale. Not that she would know how Derek tasted like. Cringing internally, she changed gears. "Do you wanna talk about how your psycho uncle was stalking me the entire time?"

Derek sat back in his chair again and rolled his eyes. "You know what I want to talk about. What we need to talk about."

We...

"Nope." Joe pursed her lips and studied the pattern left behind in the foam, not how his biceps bulged against his jacket. "Not a clue. Sorry. Oh, wait, do you wanna talk about how Jimmy was bitten and is now missing? Huh?" It took a lot to not back down at the glowering look he sent her. "Look, I said I didn't want to talk. And still, you persisted!"

"Don't worry about Slim Jim Carter, he won't last long."

"Don't call him that!" Joe insisted. Derek sounded like a high school bully and she almost shuddered about her own high school nickname in second-hand bitterness. "And why not? Do you know where he is?"

Derek shrugged, not exactly filled to the brim with compassion for Jimmy. "No. But a newly turned werewolf without a pack? Either another wolf pack will get him or the hunters will."

"Isn't he technically part of your pack or whatever? Aren't the — whatever you call them — underlings inherited?" Joe asked, sincere in her confusion. "Shouldn't you be helping him, like you were with Scott? Or at least try to find him?" At his scowl, she faltered a bit. "I just sort of feel it was my fault what happened to him."

"He was working for Peter the whole time."

"You were working with Peter too!" Joe protested and struggled to not back off at the livid expression in Derek's eyes. "Well, you were..."

Derek leaned across the table again. He looked a lot better than last time. Still pale, but not downright see-through as he had been when they busted him out of that dungeon. More stubble, but he smelled clean so he must have showered. Not that Derek ever smelled anything else than downright good, a smell that sent fireworks off inside Joe's head. Fireworks that almost made her miss what he actually said: "Only because I was trying to keep you safe!"

A hint of a growl in his voice and Joe's insides melted. Fighting to find her words, she exclaimed: "I never asked you to!"

"You don't have to ask-" Derek cut off as the nearest table shushed at them. This was college and it was closing in on the midterms. The t-shirt tightened around his chest as he took a deep breath. Lowered voice, he said: "Carter's fate got nothing to do with you. He chose it for himself."

"But he's a..." Joe could not bring herself to say the word. She could think it, she could hear it without making too many grimaces, but she could not say it. "Like you? And Scott?"

Derek shrugged, giving off the vibe that he did not care either way. From what Scott had told her, and he had not seemed too sure of the details himself, not all who are bitten will turn. Some reject the bite, usually leading to their death. Joe replayed her conversation with Professor Kane. She had alluded to there being a third option as well...

"Kate's dead," Joe said in lack of anything else. She almost added that Chris Argent had invited her to the funeral, but decided against it.

The dark expression on Derek's face did not flicker as he stared straight at her. "I know."

"Did you kill her?"

Now a hint of uncertainty in his eyes. "What?"

"Did - you - kill - her?" It was a straightforward question. Joe had confirmed Kate's time of death and Derek had not turned himself in until afterwards. Her death meant no trial, no legal investigation, no defence case — it was convenient. Too convenient.

"No." His jaw tightened and his nostrils flared. He seemed to work hard to stay in control and leaned back with the same ease a tiger would skulk back in the shadows. "But I wish I had."

A large void opened between them of pain and unspoken words. Derek stared into the table and Joe wondered where his mind went. If it went back to the torture chamber, to Kate's jeers and the chains. When the last five minutes had been that horrible she could only imagine what else Kate had said in-between the electrocutions that had lasted almost a full twenty-four hours. They touched upon this in one of the introductory Psychology-classes, on the hold that an abuser holds over their abusee. Why abused spouses never left, why abused children always came back...

"Are you okay, Derek?"

His sharp eyes darted up to look at her. Unreadable features, could be anger, could be confusion. She sighed.

"It's not that you don't look okay. You look," she gestured vaguely, "great obviously. It's just been a lot lately, y'know?" She tried to find a wording that wasn't: 'Now your whole family actually is dead, along with the killer who also abused you and tortured you, you wanna talk about it?'

If it had just been him and Laura for so long after the fire, then losing her, and now his uncle too...

"One of my old professors literally wrote the book on traumatic psychotherapy. I can ask him to recommend someone nearby if you-"

Derek rolled his eyes excessively, almost looking more annoyed with himself than her. "No." After a brief contemplative pause, he added: "Thank you." He took a deep breath and straightened up. "I'm fine."

"Okay," Joe said with a tone that betrayed that she did not exactly believe him. "If you're sure."

"I'm sure." Derek's gaze darted to the side, almost like he was embarrassed? Not an emotion she would ever associate with him. "I need to ask you something."

She pursed her lips a bit in contemplation. To be honest, she had a lot of questions for him too and they were all of the awkward type. Grimacing, she nodded.

Derek took a short breath and let it out in a puff as if to steel himself. "Joe. Can you...smell me?"

Joe froze and instinctively grabbed her cup to buy time. She finished the last of her cappucino in one gulp and swallowed harshly, because it had been a little too much. Going the route of feigning temporary deafness, she blurted: "Well, would ya look at the time, I gotta-"

Derek's hand shot ut to grab her wrist as she was getting up. "I take it that's a yes."

She remained standing by pure defiance, but stared at his large hand wrapped fully around her, by comparison, delicate wrist. Either Derek had warmed his hand on the radiator first or she was getting an allergic reaction to his touch. It burned.

"Sit down." Derek glanced at the other people in the coffee shop — no one paid them any attention. "Please."

Not able to speak, let's face it, she wasn't even able to think, Joe slid back down in her chair. Derek let go of her hand and she wrung both of hers together instead. She did not even dare to breathe, as if inhaling his scent would make it truer somehow.

"It's not that you smell bad!" Joe blurted out with wide eyes still locked on her hands. The one he had grabbed looked normal, she would expect it to be glowing red.

Derek sounded exasperated."I know."

Not really hearing him, she continued: "It's just a lot, really. I don't know if it's a cologne or just your shower gel, but it's kinda overpowering, I'll admit. I couldn't find a way to tell you without being rude, and there's always been so much other stuff happening with the attacks and the torture and the murders and stuff."

"Joe, it's okay."

She shut her mouth, running out of useless stuff to say. Completely unable to look at him in any way, even the sight of his hand resting on the table somehow making her blush climb rapidly up her spine, she hesitated. "How...how did you know?"

"It's a sign," Derek said slowly, "of true mates."

Joe finally looked up at him, but it was to make a cringing grimace. "Of what now?"

"True mates. It's rare, even among werewolves- why are you making that face?"

"What face?"

His nostrils flared. "That stupid face you're making right now."

"It's...just what my face looks like," Joe tried to convince both of them, but he looked at her with weary eyes. "Okay, okay, so...I'm just accepting that there are-" She blew her cheeks up instead of saying the word. "What you and Scott are..."

His voice came in a fatigued growl. "Werewolves."

"Right. I don't understand it yet," she added and made various hand gestures trying to piece together her thoughts. "I'm willing to accept that it's some sort of genetic mutation. Like, I saw the fangs, it's fine. But mates?" She drew the word out and could not stop her face from scrunching up again. "That sounds like bullshit."

Derek blinked slowly. "Are you serious?"

"Yes, I just...it sounds a bit woo-woo, you know what I mean?"

Before she could react, Derek's hand shot out to grab one of her flailing ones. He shifted his grip so he was effectively holding her hand like a boyfriend would. Joe stopped breathing again and stared at the union of their bodies, only able to focus on how calloused his palm felt, how smooth the pads of his fingers were in comparison. How the warmth from his grip seemed to travel up her arm, through her heart and settle in her lower stomach. Or, below the stomach if she was being honest.

"Do you feel that?" Derek implored.

Joe hoped he hadn't noticed all the hairs on her arm standing up at his voice. "Uh..."

"Tell me you don't feel that."

"I feel it..." Joe said slowly and tried to shut down whatever central nervous system was in charge of her nose as well as touch. Derek had leaned forward, and she kept her gaze fixed on their hands because that was marginally better than getting lost in those bright green eyes. "And I think it's called lust."

"Because we're conn-"

"No, no, I'm pretty sure it's because I haven't had sex in a year. Or is it a year and a half? Hang on, we're in February now, right?"

Derek shifted uneasily on the chair. He seemed to grab onto the one thing he could work with. "But you want to hav-"

"Derek, do you own a mirror?" she asked sincerely and tried to snatch her hand back, finding it fully encapsuled in his. She tugged. "I'm pretty sure half the coffee shop would admit wanting to have sex with you. The other half either asexual or in denial." Finally retrieving her hand she gestured at him. "You're hot as hell! It's a completely natural reaction from my side."

Derek's blank expression told her nothing. Nada. Zilch. He might be angry, might be confused, might be flattered — she had no way of knowing! As luck would have it, he did not get a chance to reply when someone called out through the coffee shop: "Joe Delgado! Oh my god!"

A tall and pretty African American girl strode through the tables with her arms already out, gesturing for a hug. Joe's panicked thoughts only centered around whether she had seen Joe and Derek basically holding hands and just barely remembered to stand before Kelly Brooks, one of her undergrad friends, descended upon her.

"Oh my Goood, I thought that was you! Hii!" Kelly exclaimed and did the double kissing-thing Joe never understood. Kelly turned to Derek and extended her arm like a trained socialite. "Kelly Brooks, how are ya?"

To Joe's utter amazement and shock, Derek smiled and got up to shake Kelly's hand like he had actually been brought up in a house instead of a barn. "Derek Hale, nice to meet you."

He either ignored or didn't notice Joe's open mouth and offered to get Kelly an extra chair if she would like to join them.

"Oh, no, sorry, I got like five minutes before we start back up," Kelly said and smiled even wider, winking at Joe as if to say 'nice catch!'. "It's that Alumni-thing, Joe, that I sent you five or six e-mails about. Oh my God, look at your hair, it's getting so long!"

Joe tried to shrink out of her chair as Kelly tugged on her curls with expert fingers, knowing how to check length without causing frizz. "Right, the Alumni-thing. Uh, I forgot?"

"Don't worry about it, I know you're busy with all that post-grad stuff," Kelly said with a wave of her hand. She adressed Derek: "You know she completed both her Bachelor's and her Master in four years? She's our little genius of the group."

"Ha ha ha," laughed Joe in a hollow voice, side-eyeing Derek who looked genuinly human and happy. He gave her an expectant look in return and Joe wracked her brain trying to come up with small-talk. "Uhm, are you staying long, Kelly?"

"No, got a flight back first thing tomorrow! And then I'm back for the reunion weekend, of course. Hey!" Kelly flashed Derek another huge smile and Joe considered throwing the remains of her iced coffee at Derek to cause a distraction. "You should totally join us! A bunch of the guys are bringing their partners. I know Alex is!"

"I'm sure Derek's busy," Joe said through gritted teeth and tried to tap into whatever connection he was so adamant about to indicate she would rather strangle him than let him join. "With work."

"I can take time off," Derek said and smiled again, with teeth. A proper smile. It looked incredibly handsome, but it was Derek! He usually did not smile!

"That would be so much fun," Kelly said and they all laughed, even though Joe could not see the funny part at all. "Joe's the only one who's still living nearby. I swear we would not have been so good at getting together if it hadn't been for her. We're sort of all still connected to the university."

She let Kelly gush on for the remainder of the time. On one hand, she owed Kelly big time, it was her who had first showed Joe how to tame her curls, a feat her father had miserably failed at during her formative years. On the other hand, Kelly had a tendency to be a bit too talkative and this was one of those occasions.

"Uhm, Kelly, you're watching the time?"

"Oh, shoot! I gotta run! Okay, see you! It was super nice meeting you! Bye, bye!"

Joe and Derek both waved back as the girl fluttered back out the exit, snatching up her already done order sitting on the counter. Joe waited until she was sure Kelly wouldn't pass any windows before her smile disappeared and she leaned over the table.

"No!" she said simply. "Not happening, you're not joining that reunion dinner."

She got up quickly and stuffed her poor maltreated laptop into her backpack. Nowhere was safe these days. Would she have to go to San Francisco to enjoy a good cup of coffee in peace?

Derek, back to his regular expressionless face, made no motion to grab her or get up. Instead, he asked: "Who's Alex?"

"What?" Joe snapped, already mentally in her car going home.

"Alex. Your heart beat faster when Kelly mentioned his name."

Her heartbeat? Why would he be listening to that?

Joe pointedly did not look at Derek. "Alex," she said and got her jacket from the chair, tucking it under her arm, "is my ex-girlfriend."

As I said, too excited not to post this. Also, I've been promising you more Derek and here he is! Voila!

I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I LOVE writing their interactions because they are just two bumbling young adults trying to figure stuff out. Derek at least knows how to act normal, but it's just that, an act. Please let me know what you think of this chapter!

Okay, I'm rambling. Thank you for reading!