Warning: Not a happy chapter. Reference/description of non-consensual sexual experience.
Chapter 69: Ennis
Something went wrong. Bad genes, probably.
She cried the whole way back to Beacon Hills.
Curled up in Allison's backseat as the girl drove with a heavy foot on the gas. Pulling the pain to her, even though it hurt, even though it was making Joe lose her mind. Every time she blinked, Allison's face replaced with Kate's smirk. Scott's concerned brown eyes replaced with the red eyes of the Alphas. She buckled and writhed, hands pressing against her torso, trying to stem a blood flow that wasn't even there. It wasn't her pain. It was Derek's.
And they'd left him there!
Outnumbered, wounded — it was the smart move. The right move. And Joe still hated it. They had left him!
"What's happening with her?" she heard Allison shriek and Scott hurriedly try to explain the link, the bond, how she and Derek felt each other's pain.
Shared it, Joe wanted to scream. Divided it, not equally, not now. She had tipped the scales to her side. And - it - hurt!
They took her to the McCall house even though she begged them not to. The Alphas could follow. They could ambush them. They weren't dumb predators, they were smart, they planned, and they were cruel.
"Mom!" Scott shouted as they burst through the front door. He had Joe in his arms, even though she could feel his blood from his torso seeping through to her skin. Injured. They were all injured — except her. Kali had gone easy on her.
"Mom!"
"Oh my God, what happened? Joe? Joe, sweetie, look at me, it's going to be okay," Aunt Mel said, appearing out of nowhere and brushed a hand over Joe's sweat-slick face.
Things went in a blur. Scott put Joe down on the couch and Joe tried to twist away from Aunt Mel's hands as she struggled to get Joe's sweater off. Everything ached, like claws still gripping into her flesh, tearing up nerve endings and twisting into her muscles.
"There's nothing here. She's not- she's not hurt, what-"
"Derek's hurt," Scott gulped and fell down next to Joe on the floor, out of breath and probably still in shock."She feels his pain. It's this bond-"
"Scott," Joe choked out. Not important why. Not now. She grabbed Scott's arm. "Find him. Please."
Scott's eyes were wide with tears. "Joe, he's- he can't have survived that."
"It had to be at least an eighty feet drop." Isaac paced the living room somewhere, talking fast and agitated. "And he was already injured." He broke off and let out a painful roar, one that shook Joe's inner core, triggering an instinct to help him like she had tried to help Boyd. Her betas, Derek's betas — was there even a difference? "Shit!"
Aunt Mel tried to calm everyone. She used her nurse-voice, staying rational even when blood coated the walls and the patient was flatlining. "Okay, but if it's just pain, not damage, painkillers will help, right?"
"I can't," Joe croaked, again her throat clogged with a scream, "I can't take pills, I can't sleep, he'll die."
It was the same thought that had kept her insomnia alive for weeks now.
"Okay, okay, but, uh, local anesthesia?" Aunt Mel sounded frantic and her wide eyes appeared above Joe's face. "I have an emergency kit upstairs. One dose, okay? Until you find him? Please, Joe, just let me help you."
"I have to feel it," Joe tried to explain, hiccuping and coughing with each word. "I still have to feel it, it's the only way I can hold on to it, if I can't feel it, it'll all go to him." She wasn't making much sense, speaking in broken statements, still half-blind with pain and hurt. "Please, I have to be able to still feel it."
Aunt Mel's voice trailed off as she presumably ran upstairs. "I don't understand this! I don't understand what's happening!"
Allison's voice filtered in: "Where's Cora and Boyd?"
"They're getting Jimmy. He's her friend, he knows about this stuff," Scott answered quietly, his breath still shaking.
Jimmy. He was going to be so angry with her. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. Derek was alive, she knew it, he had to be. Otherwise, she wouldn't be able to feel his pain. If it even was his pain.
The treacherous voice made her sob loudly on the couch. Was this just her own body hurting, her grief projecting into her veins, making her feel it physically instead of in her head? What was real and what wasn't? Had Kate been there? Was Kate here?
"Shh, shh, Joe, please," Scott sounded close to crying, stroking her face, just like Aunt Mel. "Please, I'm so sorry, it's my fault."
"I'm gonna be sick." Isaac again, pacing, his shadow visible from where Joe laid. "Oh God. Oh God."
Aunt Mel returned carrying a heavy first-aid kit. "This is meant for cuts," her voice trembled as she unzipped it, "or getting stitches, it's not that effective." Her palm grazed Joe's skin, looking for broken bones and slashes that weren't there. "Where, you gotta tell me where it hurts, Joe."
Everywhere hurt.
Concentrate. It was worst in her stomach, where Ennis' heavy claws had struck so deep they hit bone. Grunting and pointing, Joe tried to convey that to Aunt Mel. Would Derek be able to feel the anesthesia? How did this work? Why had no one made a rulebook for this bullshit yet?
"Okay, stomach? Ribs? Okay, sweetie, just hang on." Joe focused on Aunt Mel's voice as she prepared the needle. "This is lidocaine, it'll be effective for a couple of hours maybe, if we're lucky, I don't know about you guys anymore, nothing makes sense."
She rambled, probably to distract Joe from the needle — Joe hated needles, but Joe was too far gone to care. Now that she blinked, she saw Kali's red eyes look down at her instead, a large smile stretching her face, tearing it in half.
"Hold her!" Aunt Mel shouted and several pairs of arms did just that as Joe tried to retreat, to back away, to get away from Kali and her claws and her smile. "Joe, listen to me, focus on me, you're okay, it's okay."
A small sting in her stomach, hardly felt over everything else, and she struggled against the Alphas who held her down. Kali, Ennis and the twins, all pushing her down, holding her, forcing her to heal against her will. "Let me go!"
"Should she be this strong?"
"I don't know! Joe, calm down!"
Hands shaking, both of pain and fatigue, and she screamed at them. Kali wanted her to let it out and here she was, letting it out! The noises coming out of her mouth were halfway between animal and human, but wrought with despair. Enraged and hurt, she let it out!
Sound of a door opening and slamming shut broke through her haze of deliria. A pair of purple eyes appeared, like a lighthouse in a storm. "Joe," he said calmly and his eyes bore into her while his voice laced itself with a wolf-like growl, "listen to me!"
Jimmy. Her friend. Jimmy. Her roommate, her packmate, but not her mate. Jimmy. Breathing heavy, she stopped struggling, even though the hands never left her arms and legs. "He's not dead, he can't be."
The others explained rapidly to Jimmy what had happened — what had happened with Derek. He probably already knew. Smart guy like Jimmy. Scheming and plotting away. The purple lights dimmed as he blinked and then returned.
"You have to let some of it go, Joe," he ordered and she shook her head. "This is how it works."
Cora appeared next to him, wild brown eyes ringed with pink from crying. "He's right." Shaky voice, putting on a brave front. "That's how it works. When one falls, the other one must rise."
Falls. In Joe's mind, she saw that one crucial second over and over again, when Derek fell.
"You've saved his life," Jimmy glared intently at Joe, forcing her to focus on him, "he's healing, but you're no good to him half-crazed in pain. You have to let some of it, not all of it, go."
Aunt Mel sounded distraught and full of tears. "What is he talking about? I don't, I don't understand this."
"It's okay, Mom."
"I can't," Joe whimpered and clutched onto Jimmy's hands that held hers. Already, the pain was numbing down slightly, the anesthetic kicking in. She still felt like she couldn't breathe, but it wasn't the pain, not anymore. "I can't. Please, Jimmy, find him..."
Not in the habit of sugarcoating things, he leaned in and hissed: "Then you're both dead. And they win."
Joe tried to nod and shake her head at the same time. "I can't give him mine."
"You don't have to. Just let him take half of his."
Half. Equal. Don't panic. Breathe. Function.
Staring into Jimmy's purple eyes, she found some semblance of peace. Peace, because no one else had purple eyes. No one else had the strength and discipline to go through with what he had. No one else was like Jimmy. Where every other face shifted and transformed, Jimmy was Jimmy. Good and bad, Jimmy was Jimmy.
"Okay," she whispered and concentrated. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please don't die, please, please, please.
Balanced was easiest and she tipped the scales back — scales were the simplest way to imagine it, but in truth, it was so abstract that made no sense either. She just hoped it wouldn't end with the pain disappearing completely if Derek blacked out or died.
Joe squeezed her eyes shut, praying to open them to Aunt Mel's living room with friendly faces and not the vault with the Alphas looking at her. It worked. She hoped this was real. "Okay."
"Oh my God," Aunt Mel breathed out, still clutching the syringe she had used to inject Joe with the lidocaine. "Okay, can someone explain what just happened? Joe, are you-"
"Better," she said — that was the truth. It hurt like a bruise now instead of an open gushing wound. She could think, she could function, she could remain not panicked. Unfortunately, that meant she could hear the half-shouting argument out in the hall.
"He's not dead!"
"We don't know that, but we would have been if we stayed!"
Gritting her teeth, Joe pushed off from the couch, aided by Jimmy. She pulled down her shirt that Aunt Mel had lifted to check for injuries and stalked out into the hall where Allison worked as a mediator between an equally agitated Isaac and Boyd.
Semper fi, Joe thought and noted the red ruins of Boyd's shirt. Always loyal, even to death. Considering how Boyd leaned against the wall, barely able to stand, he'd probably been half-carried out of the mall just like Joe.
Boyd's glare landed on her and for a second she braced herself for an attack, but his nostrils flared as he seemed to bite his teeth together. "We left him."
Before she could respond, Scott pushed himself out into the hall next to her. "We didn't have a choice!"
"Because you went behind our backs!" Boyd almost roared and Isaac immediately launched himself between him and Scott. "Again!"
"I was going to try and reason with him! To find out what he wants and-"
Tensions ran high and Joe was not surprised when Boyd's eyes glowed yellow, fangs lengthening in a snarl. And even while injured, Scott returned the sentiment. Things could get out of hand — quickly.
She hated this.
"Hey!" Joe yelled, getting the attention of everyone. "Who the hell is helped by you guys getting into it right now, huh? The answer is no one, so knock it off!"
There was still anger in Boyd's eyes, but not the hate she had seen at the loft. "We left him," he repeated in a low voice. "We just left him."
Leave no man behind, another one of those military honor codes. "I know." No tears, no weakness. "We'll find him."
"His instincts will make him look for you," Cora supplied by Joe's side. A criss-cross pattern of blood decorated her shirt. "Unless the Alphas already got to him."
Joe closed her eyes — she could not bear to think of that option. "They don't want him dead." She felt all their eyes bore into her and she squirmed. She hated this. "Uh, anyone else needing medical attention? Boyd?"
He ground his teeth together, but shook his head 'no'.
"We're healing," Isaac volunteered weakly. He looked sickly pale, still lodged between Boyd and Scott, and probably had injuries too somewhere under his leather jacket. Joe could see the impression her fingernails had left when he literally stopped her from jumping to her death. "But, we have this cross-country meet we're supposed to attend and," he rubbed his head, "and I don't know. Getting kicked off the team doesn't really sound important right now."
"We can't go, we have to help find Derek," Scott said and Isaac nodded while Joe shook her head.
"No, you're all hurt or exhausted. Go to the meet. There's safety in numbers and you'll be out of town. That's good, they won't be able to find you until you're done healing." With every breath, she could think a little clearer. She glanced at Cora, who was biting her lips together, concealing the fear and pain the best she could. "Hide and heal, right?"
Cora nodded without looking at her, blinking her eyes rapidly. Found a brother, lost a brother — no one deserved that. What was she going to do with Cora? More problems; one at a time.
"Go to the meet, all of you. Jimmy and I'll find Derek." Hopefully alive.
Like Isaac read her mind, he cleared his throat, still sounding groggy when he asked: "Is there a guarantee he's alive since you're still alive?"
"What? What did he just-"
Joe winced when Aunt Mel swung her head around in panic. "I don't know," she held her hands up to stave off the millions of questions she could see behind Aunt Mel's worried brown eyes, "I'm not sure anyone knows the rules for sure. I think he's alive, I can feel him." I hope it is him at least.
As she should have expected, Boyd crossed his arms across his chest. "I'll help you find him."
"No." Joe watched the heavy muscles shift under Boyd's shirt, more alike Derek than either of them were aware of. "You can barely stand, Boyd. You want to help? Heal. Live to fight another day."
His nostrils flared — he was trying to stay in control. "I'm not going anywhere."
She hated this. Hated it, hated it, hated it. Maintaining eye contact with strong, loyal Boyd, she whispered: "Don't make me force you."
Bad choice of words.
"You can try!" he snarled, taking a step forward, mouth opening with teeth bared. Both Isaac and Scott latched onto his sweater again. "Come on!"
As Joe's hands involuntary clenched, Jimmy cut in front of her, his whole face morphing and stretching as he growled, an obvious threat.
Tensions ran high, all the werewolves were affected, and not for the first time she wished Derek could be here. Derek, who knew about werewolves, knew instinctively how to handle them, how to subdue, provoke, or just read them; who was an Alpha in his own right, not just by proxy.
"Okay, can we just all take a deep breath here," Aunt Mel suggested thinly — Isaac and Scott still held Boyd while Joe and Cora physically blocked Jimmy. "This house is built to withstand the occasional earthquake, not," her hands waved around "whatever you guys are trying to do."
"Jimmy, back off," Joe bit out and used her shoulder to make him retreat into the living room. "You three," she indicated the boys, "go to the meet. Stay together and keep your cool. Jimmy and Cora, you're with me." She raised her voice. "That's final."
Allison shifted, throwing nervous glances at Boyd with the leather of her archery-coat creaking. "Okay, but one of the Alphas is also on the cross-country team. And his brother's got this thing with Lydia."
"He won't try anything in public, not alone," Joe explained. She knew Ethan. He would not do anything without his brother. She winced when turning to Allison — Derek was definitely not healing yet. "Can you keep an eye on Lydia? Keep her away from Aiden until we know more, until we can regroup."
"Yeah," Allison said, jaw setting in a firm line. "Yeah, I can do that."
Scott shook his head and put his hand on Joe's shoulder, eyebrows pulled together in both pain and worry. "I don't like this, I don't like leaving you guys on your own."
"The Alphas took a hard hit too," Joe said, hoping it was true. "It'll be fine. Go, Scott, please. Get out of town." She hated this. Hated taking responsibility, hated being a leader. Hated it, hated it. "Let me deal with this."
Eventually, they agreed, although Joe could see Boyd's jaw flex and how dark his eyes became every time he looked at Allison. Problem for another time. The cross-country team's bus was scheduled to leave the school in just an hour and since everyone was covered in dust and blood, they raided Scott and Isaac's closets for clothes.
Aunt Mel grabbed Joe around the wrist and took her aside, like that would make any difference at all. "Joe, what the hell is going on here?"
For a second, Joe just stared into Aunt Mel's eyes. Like Scott's, like her dad's, not like her own. It was so tempting to just confess everything, leave the problem with an actual adult, but she couldn't. "I'll explain later. Do you have work today?"
"Yeah, but not until the afternoon."
"Go now. Cover a shift or something," Joe said, trying to keep her voice low, hoping Scott wasn't focused on her voice as he was still upstairs. "I don't think you're a target, but I don't want to take any chances." Biting her lip, she made a hard call, sacrificing her closest ally. "Jimmy'll take you there."
At that, Aunt Mel glanced over at Jimmy, who gave her a solid nod that would have been more reassuring if it wasn't for his glowstick eyes. "Okay, Joe, I don't like this. I think I should call Rob-"
"No!" Joe said, too loud, too harsh. Fighting to keep her voice steady, she tried again. "No, keep him out of this. Trust me, please, he can't get caught in the crossfires."
Waiting for Aunt Mel to agree, which she did however reluctantly, Joe ran both hands through her hair, removing the stupid headband Allison had given her.
"I'll take your aunt to the hospital, but then I'm going back to the apartment," Jimmy said in a low voice, keeping his back to the other guys who had trickled back downstairs.
"Good call," Joe nodded and rubbed her abdomen where she felt the remains of Derek's injuries. "If he's running on instincts, he can show up there."
Jimmy hesitated, the purple fading as he narrowed his eyes. "Yes, and...the other thing."
"What?"
"There's," he spoke slowly, brows furrowed in uncharacteristic concern, "another reason I should go back to the apartment, remember?"
She nodded again. "Yeah, the mountain ash lining. You'll be safe there."
"No, that's not-" Jimmy cut himself off, glancing behind him to the attentive gaze of Cora. "Nevermind."
Everyone prepared to leave, an absurd time-out from the intense battle just hours ago. Joe hoped she made the right call forcing the boys to leave town, to hide and heal. God, she wished Derek was here. Leaning over the kitchen counter, she pulled some more of his pain, just to feel it. He was alive. He had to be.
Who knows what you can become?
Now, the throb in her abdomen felt reassuring as she stepped over the broken concrete that littered the escalator. Looking up, she gauged it to be at least eighty feet, if not more. Isaac was right. It was a hard fall, even for an Alpha. And two Alphas had fallen and now none were left. Hissing through her teeth, Joe knelt down to touch the pools of blood. One smelled like Derek.
"Ennis landed here," Cora announced from a few feet away. Her sense of smell was, of course, a thousand times better than Joe's. Although injured, she seemed to have mostly healed from the fight, but dark rings lined her undereyes. Could also have been from crying. "Do you still feel him?"
She asked every ten seconds or so.
"Yeah," Joe said, wincing a bit. Claw marks down the sides of the escalator handrails — instincts making him reach out for something to hold on to. "I feel him." She picked up a smashed cell-phone, looking remarkably like Derek's. "Guess we know why he's not picking up. Can you get a sense of direction?"
"No. No scent at all after they landed."
It made sense, Joe supposed. As an Alpha, Derek would be able to mask his scent. She hoped that meant he had left on his own. Where would he go? Both Cora and Jimmy insisted that if Derek was running on instincts — like she had when waking up in the Preserve — he would try to find her. The difference was that he had more senses than Joe and would try to find her in real-time, not her most likely location. Well, here she was, wanting to find him and he was nowhere to be seen. How far could he have gone?
"You got something?" Joe asked as Cora had knelt at another spot in the dust.
"Not Derek," she said quietly, running her hand across what looked like faint scratches in the concrete. "This is where they took you, isn't it? The night of the full moon?"
Another kind of pain clutched Joe's chest at the memory — Cora had caught Erica's scent. In her mind's eye, she could see two figures tussling on the floor, fighting for the upper hand. At that point, it had been for show, trying to convince the spectating Alphas that it was a fight for life-or-death. Make it believable enough that when Joe tried to escape by running out into the night, they would let Erica follow, confident of the desired outcome. Joe was supposed to use mistletoe to subdue Erica when they reached the safety of the deep woods, but both Joe and Jimmy had underestimated Erica's strength.
The full moon, the chase, the bloodlust — it had taken over Erica, making her attack Joe for real this time, but Joe managed to hold her off, waiting for Jimmy to help or for sun-up. Then Derek's pain came and she snapped. Just like she snapped a branch of a tree — no claws or fangs, she would make do with any kind of weapon — and then she had used the branch to stab-
"It should have been me."
Cora's voice made the images fade away and Joe blinked away a few treacherous tears poised in her eyes.
"Please don't say that," Joe whispered, rubbing her ribcage, right around where the branch had pierced Erica. "It shouldn't have been either of you."
"I have more control. The Alphas knew. That's why they picked her."
"From what Scott told me, you weren't exactly the definition of self-restraint yourself that night." Joe swallowed, feeling the fatigue clutching at her spine now. When was the last time she slept? Not wanting to draw attention to her hands, she kept them in the pockets of her denim jacket. "Besides, she spent less time in the vault than you."
"Yeah, but bitten werewolves have-" Cora broke off, staring towards the top of the escalator.
Knowing better than to ask if she heard something, Joe just assumed she did. When Cora turned sharply towards the upper platform, Joe reached back for her pistol, recovered when they first got here and reloaded with a fresh clip.
The noise Cora heard wasn't one of the Alphas. Not one of the present ones anyway.
"It's just me," Peter Hale, back in his immaculate gray coat, announced. "Your uncle, Uncle Peter."
Not sounding too impressed, Cora said: "Uncle Peter who killed sister Laura."
"Uncle Peter who killed a lot of people," Joe murmured from her position, still trying to make sense of the marks on the floor.
"Mm, not my finest hour, no," Peter admitted, watching both of them warily as Cora stalked closer to him, instincts driving her to keep herself between him and Joe. "But I'm hardly the only dysfunctional family member. Did Derek mention that he killed me too? Slashed my throat, ear to ear."
Cora's voice was flat. "So that means I should trust you?"
"Actually, I'm wondering if I can trust you." Peter's voice brought a chill to Joe's stomach that made her stand up, although still a bit dizzy from blood loss not even hers.
As expected, it took a lot to throw Cora for a loop. "You've known me for seventeen years."
"I knew you for eleven," Peter corrected smoothly, "leaving the last six unaccounted for. And I'm not particularly fond of things unaccounted." He glanced down at Joe. "Don't think I'm blind, Joe, or ignoring the obvious signs like Derek. I can tell how you're acting. You're hiding something. Both of you are."
"What are you doing here?" Cora asked, again stepping physically into Peter's line of sight, blocking Joe.
"Same as you. Wondering where the bodies went. Wondering if they were carried out, or maybe if one of them managed to find enough strength to push himself up off the floor and walk out, leaving us standing here to answer the all-important question."
"Which one?" Cora swallowed. She looked down at Joe, hope in her bright brown eyes, eyes that looked so much like Derek's. "Joe still feels him."
His steps echoed as he sauntered down. "Do you now? That's convenient." A flash of a smile. "So tell me, where is he?"
"I don't know. Yet." Joe swallowed, still tempted to reach back for her gun. "Want to talk about convenience? Where were you during the fight?"
His smile never reached his eyes. Like Gerard, it was a dead man's smile. "I don't engage in fights I won't win." Nothing kind in his face, nothing but suspicion. "Even though I don't trust you, I still agreed with your sentiment at the loft. This was a trap."
Feeling sick, Joe shook her head to clear her mind. "They're several steps ahead of us all the time. With the vault. Here. They know if they make it too easy we won't take the bait, every trap is layered."
"And as good little flies, we walked straight into the web. I'd be impressed if it wasn't for the fact that they want us all dead. Oh, don't give me that look, Joe. I wanted revenge for my family, this is just a mindless power grab."
Not that mindless, Joe thought, but remained quiet. She could tell by Cora's narrowed eyes that she was on edge. As much as she would like an outlet for all her emotions, getting into a fight with Peter Hale was not on her list of priorities right now.
"Well, Miss Mate," Peter seemed to enjoy riling her up as he leaned on the banister of the escalator, "tap into that connection of yours and find my nephew, if you'd be so kind."
That rulebook would have been nice by now. Touching Derek's blood gently, Joe brought her fingers up to her nose. It was him, but it was tainted, layered with something sweet and bitter. Almost like vinegar? Last time she had ever smelled anything like this was at the clinic when he was hit with a wolfsbane-bullet, but then it had been rotten and infected. Now it was just...wrong.
"I can't," Joe said eventually, wiping her hand off on her leggings.
Peter did not sound or look impressed. "Can't or won't?"
"I can't," Joe repeated and glanced guiltily at Cora. "Not that I knew how anyway, but there's something wrong. Ever since I came back, there's been this...layer to his scent. I thought it was because of me, because of everything that's happened, but now I'm not sure anymore."
"Everything that's happened?" Peter repeated. "Care to elaborate? What did happen those three months you were gone, Joe?" Again, the ghost of a smile, but hard pale eyes that for the first time highlighted how much he and Derek actually resembled each other. With Cora it was obvious, but with Peter it was subtle, in the movements and nuances of expressions. False kindness in his voice as he asked: "What changed you this much?"
No one said anything for a few seconds and Peter's smile became a bit more sincere as he unsheathed his claws. "There are other ways I can find out-"
That was as far as he got before Joe pulled out her pistol, but Cora had already wolfed out and snarled down at him. She leaped up to the handrail; trembling, ready to spring at him.
That was apparently exactly what Peter was after as he put his hand down slowly. His smile disappeared as he looked at Joe.
"A Beta's instinct is always to protect their Alpha. This explains a lot." Focusing on trigger discipline, Joe tried to breathe. As if he did not notice both Joe and Cora ready to kill him, Peter shrugged. "Explains why Cora's been giving Derek a run for his money when it comes to sulking lately. You forced her to stay with him when all she really wanted was to be with you."
Sighing, Joe put her gun back and gave Cora a nod that it was okay. "Only because the Alphas forced us together first. I shouldn't be her Alpha, never wanted to be."
"I tried telling her that's not how it works," Cora said in a hard voice to Peter as she slid down from the handrails, face back to normal. "And with Alpha Mates, you can still have two Alphas in the same pack."
"Yes, that's the only way you can have to Alphas in a pack. Unless the entire pack is made of Alphas of course. So," Peter swiveled to give Cora another smile, "you, my little niece, are bonded to not one, but two inexperienced Alphas with a habit of biting over more than they can chew." Peter sighed and crossed his arms, giving Cora a defeated look. "No pun intended." Looking over at Joe, he said: "But speaking of bite...There's never been a mate bond between a werewolf and a human before. And I'm guessing it still hasn't happened?"
"It's complicated." That was as far as Joe was willing to explain for the time being. "And not important, not right now. We need to find Derek sooner rather than later."
"You know the Alphas better than anyone-"
How much did he know? It was hard to tell with Peter, he always sounded smug and like he knew more than you. Don't panic. He had no way of knowing. She had to stay calm.
"-what would they do if they found him first?"
She cleared her throat, not looking at either Cora or Peter. "Depends on how hurt Ennis is. If he dies, Kali won't stop for anything." Joe rubbed her stomach absentmindedly, the pain still throbbing there. Not healed, but not dead either. "I don't know where the Alpha pack is, but I know someone who can find them."
"Who?" Cora asked, dark brows pulled down in a frown, like Derek.
"Their Emissary," Joe said, still not a hundred percent sure what that word even meant. "She'll be at the school. I'll head there."
At her words, Peter looked thoughtful while Cora nodded and said: "I'll go with you."
"Actually," Peter interjected and made everyone pause in their descent from the escalators. He looked at Cora. "There is someone else who might be worth talking to. I could use some back-up."
As probably everyone expected by now, Cora looked at Joe for confirmation. Joe hated this. With a sigh, she nodded. "It's okay. School's public, there'll be people there. Go with your uncle. Keep me posted."
Get the hell away from me so I don't kill you too.
Cora glanced down and Joe squeezed her fists tightly together, knowing what confirmation she was looking for. Her hands were steady-ish; not too bad. Not shaking outright, not when she used all of her willpower to keep them from doing so. She'd be fine.
No need to tell Cora to be careful around Peter; like most Hales, she had plenty of trust issues already. Still reluctant, but not one to disobey a direct order — a fact Joe hated to take advantage of — Cora left with Peter in his car while Joe took the Corvette. She checked her phone, but still no word from Jimmy, only a text from Scott asking if they'd found Derek. Instead of answering, she put the phone back in her pocket, hoping she could give him better news pretty soon.
Dark thoughts clouded Joe's mind as she pulled up in the high school parking lot next to a shiny red Toyota Prius. Finally alone, without Cora or Jimmy or Scott hanging over her, she allowed herself ten seconds to cry. Ten seconds, Joe thought. Ten seconds to just let it all out and then you get out. Ten seconds and you get out and you function. She counted to ten, slowly, in her mind, sniffling pathetically, fighting to keep in the scream that had been lodged in her throat since she saw Derek fall. Ten seconds. And then she got out of the car.
No idea what time it was, but it might be a half-day at the school or something because it looked like people were leaving. Or they'd found another dead teacher or student and they sent everyone home. Dead virgins felt like the least of Joe's problems right now.
With every step, Joe's ribs twinged, a sign he was still out there. If the Alphas had him, how would she get him back? When her stupid self couldn't even make the shot to take out the head of the snake?
Reaching the guidance counselor's office, she found it locked. Don't panic. Breathe. With a harsh swear, she opened the door anyway. The lock gave a metallic crunch as she broke through. Joe realized her other hand had reached back into her waistband, for the pistol, but the office was empty. No sign of the Emissary. Shit.
Shit, shit, shit! She hated this! She was the most useless goddamn Alpha ever to exist and she did not want to be one, it should not even be possible, but as Derek once said, 'here we are'. From what he had told her once, she shouldn't even exis. There was no such thing as-
"No more denying the facts, babe, you gotta face it head on."
"Shut up," Joe snapped. Her hands trembled and she focused on making them steady again; focusing on her hands instead of the leggy blonde leaning against Marin's desk. "You're not real."
"That's what you said about werewolves, remember? Back in the day?" Kate sounded nostalgic as she crossed her long legs, peering at Joe through thick lashes. Her voice was normal, like before Peter slashed her throat open. "Everyone tried telling you. Everything told you what was going, but nooo, you stuck in your own bubble of textbooks and journals. Come on, who knows what's real or not? I could be somewhere in México with a medium using mystical powers to astral project myself here, just to be with you."
Joe rubbed her head, everything shaking from the movements of her hands. "No. No, that's not possible."
"Oh, that's where we're drawing the line? Werewolves, moon-induced mate bonds, homicidal vengeance spirits — and you don't believe in astral projection? I mean, come on, the guy who tried to kill me," Kate gestured at herself and now the red line appeared over her throat, like bad CGI, "was resurrected by a high school girl who 'allegedly'," Kate used air quotes and her voice turned sweet, "doesn't even remember what she was doing."
"There's gotta be rules," Joe mumbled and stumbled to sit in the chair. Her entire upper body hurt, her head throbbed — when was the last time she ate something? Drank something? Slept? Just needed a quick second to catch her breath.
Kate scoffed, not sounding too impressed. "Nah. You think so? In a world where everything you thought was just fairytale monsters turns out to be real? Rules are for science and this," her smile was devilish, "isn't an exact one."
"Shut up."
"But okay, let's say that high school chick tells the truth, she doesn't remember anything. She didn't have a choice, Peter was in her head. How do you know I'm not doing that to you? I mean, I'm obviously in your head, but how do you know I'm not controlling you? Pulling your strings one - by - one?"
"Shut up."
"Mmm," Kate leaned back again with an appreciative sound, stretching her long lean body over the desk. "Truth is, I don't even need to control you, do I, babe? You're making all the wrong choices by yourself, right? Failing at every step you take."
Without thinking, Joe leaped up and tore Marin's name sign off the desk, hurling it at Kate. "Shut up!"
Of course, the sign went straight through empty space and several inches into the back wall. Empty space, because Kate wasn't there. Never was. Damn it! Function, you have to function, you have a function!
Panting in the middle of the office, she almost missed the slight knock on the door before it opened.
"Everything all right in here-" Her dad froze, as did she. "Joe?"
"Shit," Joe swore and looked at the window, gauging if she could just jump through it. "Shit, shit, shit."
"What the hell are you doin' in here?" her dad asked, coming fully inside and closing the door after him. Except it wouldn't close because Joe had broken the inside mechanism. Work, he was working, she realized, because he wore the dark blue FBI-jacket. He looked from the handle to the sign stuck in the wall. "Joe, what's goin' on?"
"I can't," Joe breathed out, at least trying to breathe, but her throat constricted. She couldn't breathe. He still stood in the door, blocking her escape. "I can't, I can't do this, Dad, not now, I have to go."
"Jesus Christ, kid, you look half-dead." Her dad took a step closer, but stopped when she backed off. He held his hands up in surrender and she hated the way he looked at her — fragile, weak, pathetic. "All right, all right, kid, it's all right. Did somethin' happen?"
"No, no, nothing happened."
"Okay, Joe, listen to me, it's gonna-"
"No, no, no," Joe mumbled, rubbing her hands over her face. "I can't do this, Dad, not now, okay? You can't be here, you can't-" Everything hurt. "I can't take you being nice now, Dad, okay? I need you to still be angry with me, that you don't want to talk to me because I said I'd call and then I didn't for three months and-"
"Mija," he said slowly, "I'm not angry with you. This 'bout the other day when you were with Stilinski's kid? I had no idea you were back in town, kid, I wasn't tryin' to invade your space, that's-"
"No, Dad, no! You have to be angry, I can't-" Joe hiccuped, gesturing weakly to just everything that was wrong and it was everything. She couldn't lie to him. She couldn't take him being nice and understanding because him just being here put him in danger and she could not take losing him too.
"Josefina, mija, what's wrong? Are you okay?"
Joe Delgado was a horrible liar. And her dad knew her too well.
He caught her before she collapsed, fatherly instincts kicking in probably, and pressed her face hard into his chest as she sobbed loudly.
Ugly, scared, open-mouthed cries escaped Joe and she held in a scream.
Her dad held her tight, sinking down to the floor with her, not shushing her, not patronizing her, just holding her. She hated him. She hated him so much! And yet, at that moment, he was the only thing keeping her from breaking into pieces.
Human blunt fingernails dug into his jacket as she cried. No coherent words, no chance of explaining, just vile sobs that racked through her whole body. She was four years old again and slipped on the swing, cutting open her knee. She was eleven, when the boy she had given a Valentine's Day card showed it to his friends and laughed. She was fourteen, watching her best friend get her stomach pumped at the hospital. She was fifteen, being told she was going to Tryon Residential Center for eight months. She was twenty-three, believing the man she loved was either dying or already dead.
Loved.
It only made her cry harder, not wanting to admit it, not now. Not wanting to think about how she used the past tense.
Dead, because of her. Because she'd missed. Because she had been kidnapped. Because she hadn't been strong enough. Everything because of her.
Somehow, her dad got her up from the floor and placed her back in the chair. He produced a handkerchief and like she was a goddamn toddler, he wiped roughly around her face.
"Jesus Christ," she croaked and pushed his hand away. "What am I? Five years old?"
"I dunno, you tell me," her dad said gruffly and made another swipe, this time for her nose. Joe nearly broke her neck trying to dodge it. "Think that's the last time you got so upset you couldn't talk. Come on, blow."
Handkerchief under her nose and she glared at him. He was trying to get a rise out of her, to distract her. It kinda worked. "Screw you."
"There she is," he laughed and pocketed the handkerchief, without noticing how her entire body froze up again. "Come on, kid. Talk to me. What's going on? Why are you breakin' into the guidance counselor's office? This 'bout that college girl?"
Despite herself, she wrinkled her brows. "What?"
"The girl, Emily. She was a freshman at your institute. Thought you might have known her, considering how she was in your Prof's class and, uh, was a..." Not giving her dad the easy way out, she waited for him to say it. "A lesbian."
"Jesus Christ, I didn't know that girl! What, you think I know every lesbian at Berkeley?" Joe gave it half a second's thought — the LGBTQ+ community was generally a close-knit one. "Maybe like a few years ago, but not anymore. I don't even live on campus anymore. I don't attend lectures or-" She shook her head. "I don't have time for this. Dad, listen to me, you need to quit this case. You need to get out of town now."
He just stared at her, eyebrows rising to meet his thinning hairline. "You're kidding, right?"
"I have never asked you to walk away from a case," Joe's voice shook, but she pushed through, "but I'm asking now. Please, Dad, just...please. I can't lose you too, I can't, I just-"
"Is someone threatening you, kid? What's going on?"
"Dad, please..."
She broke off. Something was happening.
A noise, like at the far edge of her consciousness, trembling through her spine up into her heart and then finally her mind.
A howl — pain, anguish, fury, heartbreak, everything laced into a noise that she should not have been able to hear. A sound that was not supposed to be made or heard by humans. Far away, but not subject to the regular laws of physics — she could hear it.
Joe looked at her hands, saw the slight tremor, but not like before, this was real. This was her. Kali.
"I gotta go."
"What?"
"I gotta go! Sorry, I love you, but I gotta go!"
"Wait, Joe, what, hang on!"
Leaving her dad in the office, she ran out of the school, dodging teenagers left and right. If that howl meant what she thought, she had to find Derek now!
The Corvette stood alone in the parking lot now and she hurriedly unlocked the door. Joe gasped when her hand came back bloody. Blood on the car door. A large red handprint on the window. Derek's blood.
No doubt in her mind and there was more of it on the pavement, but no sign of him.
"What?" she whispered to herself and span around. "No, no, no-"
No other cars. No other people. No Derek.
The trail of blood ended at her car. No, wait. Droplets went from her driver's side to where the Toyota had been parked. Had someone else found him? One of the teachers? If he was half as injured as his pain let on, someone could have taken him to a hospital. Except, knowing Derek, he would waste his final breaths on telling someone not to take him to a hospital.
"Derek?" She had to try, maybe he was still here, but nothing in the air except the smell of his tainted blood. He'd tried to find her and she wasn't here. No, she was having a breakdown in the goddamn guidance counselor's office when he tried to find her. "Derek?"
The howl fresh in memory, she wiped her hands on her leggings again and got in the car. If someone else — anyone else than the Alpha pack — had him, he would be okay. He would be safe.
Please let him be okay.
You're supposed to be equals. Tell me, do you feel like his equal?
This was less a case of 'Jesus, take the wheel' than letting instincts take over instead. The howl seemed to linger on the inside of her brain, calling out to her, letting her know where Kali was. Joe should not have been surprised to find that she ended up at Deaton's clinic.
And she should not have been surprised when Kali came to nearly wrench the door off the Corvette. Her clawed hand gripped around Joe's arm and tore her out into the parking lot of the clinic.
Eyes red, she snarled: "Where is he?"
"I don't- ow!" Joe yelped as Kali increased the pressure on Joe's arm. Along with the anesthesia wearing off, this was too much. The only thing holding her up was the fact that they didn't have him. They didn't know where he was either. "I don't know!"
Kali's breath fanned over her face, like a desert wind. "Is he alive?" Her grip increased, claws digging into Joe's skin. "Do you feel him?" Joe bent backward, no chance of resisting Kali's strength. "Did you take his pain? Did - you - save - him?"
Joe bit her lips together tightly, holding in the scream threatening to burst out. Kali was more than angry, she was livid. Joe managed to choke out: "That's all you got? Hm? Come on, I can take it."
As soon as she said it, Kali let go of her.
Still barefoot and dressed in a ripped tank top and leggings, Kali stalked across the empty pavement. Hands fanned out to either side, claws still dripping with Joe's blood. Too angry or hurt to speak, Joe realized, based on Kali's moving jaw, shifting around large canine teeth. Breathing hard.
Joe clutched her underarm where she had a pattern of four scratch marks — they would take some time to heal coming from Kali's claws. She flinched when Kali roared into the empty lot.
The question tumbled out before Joe could stop it: "Ennis is dead, isn't he?"
The effect was instant. Kali took a step back; her face cleared, eyes dimming from red to brown, mouth back to normal. Chest heaving in short bursts of breath. That had been the origin of the howl. That was why she was so angry.
Joe held Kali's grief-stricken stare for as long as she could. Then she leaned forward and whispered: "Good."
In hindsight, probably not the best idea, emphasized by how Kali used a split second to overcome the shock before she front-kicked Joe into a pale blue Suburban.
The metal buckled under Joe's back and the force knocked both her and the car several feet over the concrete. It took every ounce of focus to keep the pain to herself, so much that she missed Kali appearing above her, grabbing Joe's throat to lift her up.
"Why did you come here?" she demanded, swinging Joe around like a wielded axe to throw her to the ground. "Did you come to beg for his life? To convince me I shouldn't find him and rip his throat out," she bared her fangs, "with my teeth?"
"I-I don't know," Joe stuttered, struggling to get back up from, her own pain merging with Derek's. It was the honest answer. Instincts drove her here. To protect Derek? Probably. It was hard to tell anymore. "I heard you..."
The fangs mangled Kali's words. "Don't kid yourself, Sefina, you don't have that kind of hearing. Your father made sure of that." She raked her eyes over Joe's form, seeming to linger on Joe's combat boots that she still wore. "You think you can stop me?" She snorted. "Where is he?"
"I don't know."
"Liar!" It came out as a roar, sounding closer to an enraged tiger than a wolf. "He'll search you out." Her voice dripped with false sweetness and she almost tip-toed closer to Joe again. "He can't help it. It's his instincts."
Back to standing, Joe swayed from a mind-numbing combination of pain and fatigue. "Yeah? See him anywhere?"
"It's only a matter of time," Kali spat and her clawed hands flexed around Joe's neck now, as if ready to plunge into the weak flesh to pluck apart Joe's memories. She seemed to resist her own urges and pushed away from Joe, going back to the clinic. "He killed one of ours, Sefina. He doesn't get a choice anymore. You dont get a choice anymore."
It's possible the mate-bond was the catalyst, so to speak.
"Did you call Cora?"
"For the twentieth time, yes. No answer." Jimmy moved around the kitchen — she could hear pills shake in some bottles. "Can you please cons-"
"No. No pills."
The local anesthetic Aunt Mel had given her was wearing off. Wherever Derek was, he was still injured. After Kali's warning, Joe had gone back to the apartment, back to the mountain ash-infused apartment. She wanted to go to the loft. Wanted to check the hospital. Wanted to keep looking, but that's how Kali expected to find him. She would follow Joe, hoping to exploit the stupid instincts. Well, not today.
"Mmrh," Joe grunted as she pulled on more of Derek's pain. Her phone buzzed with questions from Stiles and Scott, if she had found Derek, but she could not bring herself to answer. Maybe Cora and Peter had found him and hidden him away somewhere? A comforting thought. Maybe they had sealed off the loft — Jimmy had gone there earlier, but the front doors had been locked — and was preparing for a siege? Maybe Cora had finally realized Joe wasn't to be trusted and refused to answer Jimmy's calls? Maybe maybe maybe.
Whatever Joe did, she would not lead the Alphas to him now. She would pull on his pain, hoping to keep him alive until the damn healing started and he could fend for himself. Then she'd find him and they would fight the Alphas together, properly. Hopefully soon.
Soft footsteps from sock-covered feet and Erica appeared upside-down. "Is she okay?"
"I'm fine," Joe croaked, sounding horrible even to herself.
"Are you sure you don't want the bed?" Erica leaned down with her hands on her knees to where Joe laid splayed out on the living room carpet. Her hooded eyes looked doubtful. "You don't look fine." Her eyebrows lifted when Joe gave her the finger. "Whatever. Have fun being Derek's pain-tampon. I'm going back to bed."
Joe winced at the expression, but exchanged her middle finger with a thumbs up.
"Well," Jimmy said as his face also appeared over her. "As long as you don't do something completely idiotic as taking on his injuries, or you know, walk into another trap laid by the Alphas and nearly get yourself killed..." His purple eyes narrowed in a wane smile — even if he treated her nicely now, this matter was not settled yet. "I will return to my room for meditation in an attempt to not tear your head clean off your shoulders. Wherever Derek is, he's most likely safe. The pills are on the counter if you come to your senses."
Squirming on the floor, Joe just nodded. She just wished there was a way to actually tap into the connection to find out if he was okay, not just alive. Derek had once commented that her pain 'felt' differently when she was scared — probably something to do with more acute werewolf senses able to pick up nuances that she couldn't. Like Kali said, Joe did not have that kind of hearing. Or smell. Or whatever other sixth sense these guys seemed to possess.
Bad genes, Kali had called it.
Time blurred and lost all sense of importance as she laid there. The only thing she noted was the darkness outside the large windows in her and Jimmy's living room. A day or so shy of a half-moon — she would need to make sure Jimmy was okay then. Demi Alpha, demi moon. Half Alpha, half-moon. The pain kept her awake, even as the shadows grew even longer on the floor next to her. Pulling on as much as she could. Stupid asshole better appreciate it.
God, she was so happy he was still alive — wherever he was.
Finally, when she was no longer sure if the pain even was real anymore, he started healing.
She could feel how his wounds closed, how the pain went away little by little. Joe was tempted to close her eyes and sleep at the sensation of calm that filled her. Just glad he actually was okay, a tear slipped out of her eye. Still many problems awaited them — Kali was still after blood, Deucalion still after power — but at least they could face them somewhat together. At least he was okay.
Staring at the living room ceiling, her eyes narrowed. The pain slipped away as the injuries healed, but it was replaced by something else. It was more than a sense of calm, it was almost...nice? Her mouth dry, she tried to swallow, noting her increased heartbeat. Flushed skin and chest going up and down, out of breath without moving. Something spread from her core out to her fingertips, her toes, to her stomach and below, settling between her legs and-
"Oh my God," Joe groaned, but tried to keep quiet. Involuntarily buckling, trying to ride it out, but it kept going. She flexed her muscles, trying to push the sensation away. This was on the far opposite of the pain spectrum. This was...good. "Oh God."
It built inside of her, making her flushed, making her body respond physically, but it wasn't- this wasn't- it wasn't her, it was him. It was Derek.
And he was not alone.
"Oh God," Joe gagged and for a few seconds, she stayed on the floor, staring wide-eyed at the ceiling.
He wasn't alone. Derek was with someone in the most intimate form of with there was and it was not her. He was with someone else. He was having sex with someone else, right now, and she was an unintentional witness, a bystander, a spy, an intruder.
"Oh no, no, no."
The tingling and sensual warmth in her body kept coming, kept pushing into her, kept-
"No!" Joe leaped to her feet, brushing at her own limbs, trying to physically push it out. "No, God, please no! No, stop!"
Every particle of her filled with the heat and the sparks of pure pleasure. It would not go away! She clawed at her skin, trying to make it stop, dancing around wildly, trying to numb it. It wasn't like the pain, she couldn't push it out like that, it was different, slippery where the pain was all hard edges and she couldn't concentrate when it just kept coming!
Unaware of her own thoughts, she ran inside the bathroom, turning on the shower while still pulling on her skin, hoping to use the pain to distract. Cold, cold shower and she jumped in fully clothed, sliding to the floor of the tub, trying to coat herself in the chill.
The freezing water hit her skin and numbed it, but the heat was coming from within her, it was impossible to make it stop. She was crying, hardly aware of it under the spray of water, and she grabbed a washcloth and scrubbed hard. Make it stop, anything to make it stop!
The knowledge and the vision of Derek in bed with someone, someone whose touches gave him pleasure, whose skin melted into his, whose body accepted him fully was enough to make her scream. She felt dirty, she felt betrayed, she felt horrible. "Please stop, please, please, please!"
"Noo!" she groaned and threw her head back. The wave rose inside of her, responding to his, but it was not her! It was not with her! Just the thought of it, with her as a forced peeping tom, made her gag again, dry-heaving in the freezing shower.
The overhead light flicked on and she saw Jimmy in the doorway, shirtless and confused with glowing purple eyes. "Joe, what's going on, what are you-"
"Make it stop!" she screamed so her throat became sore. If she had the guts, she would knock herself out, but she just thumped her head weakly against the tiled wall. "Please, just make it stop!"
"Is it Derek, is he hurt again, what-" Jimmy sounded frantic, dashing around the bathroom. Joe shook her head and sobbed again and Jimmy's face cleared in realization as he probably could smell it on her and she hated how he looked at her. "Oh. Oh, no, Joe, I'm..."
He ran out of the bathroom, only to return a second later, so fast he slid to the floor next to her. The pills rattled as he shook two of them out in his hand. "It will take around twenty minutes to kick in."
Joe greedily grabbed the pills and swallowed them dry. Tried to focus on Jimmy, anything else than the pleasure riding her body like its own personal plaything. "I can't take twenty minutes. Knock me out."
"Joe, it's not-"
"Do it." Hands gripping the edge of the bathtub, she roared as her vision went red: "NOW!"
Last thing she saw was his purple eyes disappearing behind a curled-up fist. She barely felt herself slipping down into the filling bathtub, water practically steaming of her skin.
Anything to make it stop.
...
Sorry, guys. I know no one wanted this, especially not Joe or Derek, but... it happened. It's part of a bigger plan, so it sort of had to. Guess no one figured this was how Joe would find out, huh? And before you hate Derek too much, remember that Joe does not have the whole story just yet. It's slightly less straightforward than it seems.
So, have we reached rock bottom yet? Has the thread Joe's been hanging onto finally snapped? Is there still hope for the Halegado-ship? (The answer for the last one is yes, just so you don't lose faith.)
I was so nervous about posting this chapter, not gonna lie, hence the slight delay. Sorry for that too.
Let me know what you think of this chapter and please trust that I have a plan with all of this. Every review is deeply appreciated as always, but be kind, please. Again, there's a reason for all of this and it'll work out in the end.
Thank you for reading anyway! ❤