If there was one thing Asuka couldn't stand, it was people being cheerful in the morning. Especially this morning. She was tired and grumpy, and in front of the class was that cheerful girl with the brown, and vaguely red shimmering short hair who seemed to smile constantly. At least when she didn't outright giggle. Urrrgh... how typically 'kawaii schoolgirl' do you want to get?
"Hello, all," she introduced herself. "My name is Kirishima. Mana Kirishima. I've just moved to here from Kyushu with my uncle, who has gotten a new job here. Uh... I hope my appearance so late in the school year isn't an intrusion." She giggled again. "But I'm very excited to get to know new people! I hope we'll all get along very well!"
"As you can see, Ms Kirishima, there are enough seats vacant," the teacher told her. "You may choose one."
Well. At least there are still some people moving to Tokyo-3. The general trend was the reverse, which also was the reason for the many vacant seats. Of course people were getting the hell out of a war zone, and Tokyo-3 had become de facto just that. Asuka was indeed rather wondering why people even stayed. There was an angel attack every other week, and most people seemed to simply ignore that. Even so, over the last months, four classmates had left town. And already a third or so of all apartments in Asuka's apartment bloc were empty. Why oh why not all of them...
"Oh, I think I'll sit down over there," Mana trilled. Asuka didn't pay further attention to her until the new kid turned towards Shinji. She had placed herself right next to him. "I hope you don't mind. But I wanted to sit next to a cute boy!"
Sach ma gehts noch! Noch alle Tassen im Schrank oder was? So was Unverschämtes... [1]
It didn't help Asuka's attitude how Shinji reacted, turning red and looking down at his desk. I swear, if you dare smile now, I... His lip corners were up. A bit. Maybe. At least Asuka thought so. How can she simply burst in like this and... grrr.
Asuka watched the two carefully throughout the class. At least that Mana girl seemed to be a good student; that meant she looked ahead, listened to the teacher and did not confuse poor Shinji even more. And confused he did look; Asuka noticed that even from behind. But I bet he liked that compliment. Hrmpf. It was kinda unfair. It wasn't that Asuka didn't think the same about Shinji. But here that... person just entered and said it. She made it far too easy on Shinji, and that was unfair!
Asuka's mood was still sour when their midday break began. Especially when Mana asked Shinji whether she could stick with him, what with being new and she not knowing any people here yet and... Yes, yes, play the damsel in distress. Because that isn't old and cliché or something. Herr im Himmel, is that girl desperate or what... Her mood improved slightly when Shinji at least delayed Mana, if of course with a stuttering apology and an awkward smile. Before he could deal with the new girl, he first brought a lunch box to Ayanami, and then the two came over to Asuka's desk.
He had done their lunch boxes every day for over a week now, of course, but right now Asuka was especially glad about that fact. She quickly opened the box as the two were still standing at her desk...
"What you got there?" A giggle.
Asuka groaned. Mana had positioned herself right behind Shinji and was now looking over his shoulder.
Then she asked, "Sieht lecker aus. Kann ich mich zu euch setzen?"[2]
There was nearly zero accent. Asuka's jaw dropped. "Ja, kann denn hier jeder deutch?"[3]
Mana giggled again. "Der arme Ikari hier nicht, so konfus wie er aussieht." [4] Asuka snorted against her will. Shinji did look mightily confused right now. "What about you, uh... what's your name if I may ask?" Mana turned to Rei.
"Rei Ayanami," the blue-haired girl simply answered. Mana smiled radiantly at that, which rammed a further pang of... something into Asuka. Uncertainty? No no, not her as well!
As Rei was grabbing a chair to sit at Asuka's table, Mana looked back and forth between Asuka and Shinji. "So... may I? I even got my own lunch box, no worry!"
"Oh yeah, sure," Shinji hastily answered. "That shouldn't be a problem, right, Asuka?"
"Natürlich nicht,"[5] Asuka muttered under her breath.
Mana grabbed a chair as well and addressed the redhead: "So, what do you think, was my pronunciation alright? I haven't spoken German in years!"
It had been pretty much spot-on, so of course Asuka couldn't say so. "Where did you learn that, anyway?"
Mana shrugged. "Before coming here, my uncle often had business partners from Germany over. I think he was his company's expert for all Germany issues, and they did a lot of trade with that country. I sorta picked it up at home."
"Ah," Asuka voiced. Then something hit her. "And how did you know I can speak it?"
Mana giggled again. "An attractive redhead piloting giant mechas? Your face isn't exactly unknown, Soryu."
Right. Asuka didn't know whether to be flattered or annoyed. So instead, she just began eating. The others followed her lead.
"That's very nice of you, to cook for your friends," Mana commented to Shinji.
"Uh, it's no great bother," Shinji muttered.
"He's very good at it," Asuka spoke up. "And he's doing it just for us. Even making separate vegetarian dishes for Rei." Where did this come from? Asuka knew she would eat her words later on; showing open gratitude like that was just not her style. But right now she had to make a point vis a vis Mana. The brunette had to see how close their bonds were. Wait, are they?
"Not many boys would do that," Mana stated and giggled again. "I think it's cute."
Of course you do, you goddamn paperboard cutout. What don't you find cute? But Asuka couldn't bring it herself to protest. After all, it was pretty cute...
"Ikari is an excellent cook," Rei spoke up quietly. That she did so surprised Asuka. The redhead was glad she spoke up now and then these days, but she was also kinda annoyed that it was Mana who had prompted that.
"Is that so? Maybe I should forget my lunchbox one of these days," Mana 'suggested'.
"He's already working hard enough!" Asuka protested sternly. "Don't you burden him as well!"
Shinji looked at her in surprise. Asuka realized just how serious she had just sounded. Pfah, so what?
"Oh, I wouldn't want to!" Mana insisted. "After all you... uh... you three are the mecha pilots, aren't you? I've heard stories about you, but..."
"Stories?" Asuka asked suspiciously. "What stories?"
"Well, we've heard about the angel attacks in the news," Mana told her. "There's never much on NERV, or the E... the mechas. Or about their pilots. But there are rumours. About how you three are just ordinary students. About a blue-haired pilot and a foreign red-haired pilot. So it really wasn't difficult to identify you." She giggled. "So, if those stories are true... you have saved this city half a dozen times over already. That's... that's quite impressive to be honest!" Giggling again. "And yet Ikari still finds the time to cook for his friends!"
"Well, someone has to do it," Shinji muttered.
Asuka scoffed. She feared she'd never be able to drive that attitude out of the boy. "And we're the best at it. Saved the world half a dozen times over indeed!"
"The world?" Mana asked.
Ach. Scheiße. "Well, uh... I don't think those monsters would stop at just Tokyo-3!" Asuka improvised a cover story.
"Huh, that sounds true," Mana conceded. She flashed a bright smile. "So that means I should be really, really grateful to you three."
"You should!" Asuka agreed, and she was dead serious. Surprised, too. Normally people simply took this all for granted – the constant training, the pain feedback, the fights. She knew the worth of all that, and that it made her special. That was why she piloted. But not getting the recognition she deserved from others was really annoying at times.
To her surprise, Mana stood up, bowed and said: "Thank you very much for your efforts against the angels." There was excited whispering in the class. She sat down again, casually, as if nothing had happened, with a smile on her face. Asuka was honestly impressed with how she carried herself... not that she would show it.
Only Rei was of course entirely unaffected. "Ikari has an aversion to public attention."
And indeed, as could have been expected, Shinji looked awkward as hell. He was even sweating, and he tried very hard not to look into the faces of any of the classmates around them.
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" Mana exclaimed. "I really didn't mean to embarrass you." Her voice got small. "I'll try to be careful from now on. I'm so sorry!"
Asuka grinned triumphantly. Okay, so maybe Shinji was lamentably pathetic on that issue, but at least this was something where she hadn't fucked up while Mana had. "You see how they treat us heroes here. All whispering and rumours. Hmpf. Pathetic. No wonder Shinji isn't used to what you've done. Which really came a bit out of the blue."
"Yeah, I know," Mana conceded timidly. "So, uh... you feel you don't get enough gratitude? For what you're doing?
"I just said so, didn't I?" Asuka replied.
"Well, it's understandable," Mana assured her. "I mean, you apparently go into life and death battles, and yet..."
"Exactly!" Asuka agreed.
"What's it like, piloting an EVA?" Mana wanted to know. "And being... uh, being in battle against... against such a thing?"
"Painful," Rei spoke up.
"Huh?" Mana voiced.
"The Evangelions... we're in direct neural contact with them," Shinji explained quietly. "We move them by thought and we feel... what they feel. Like... like being..."
"Like being stabbed," Asuka intervened curtly. "Or punched or burned." Though she wondered about Rei of all people had bringing it up. So far the girl had seemed to be entirely unaffected by physical pain...
Mana gaped. "But... that's terrible! And in those battles... you could die any minute, no? How have they been so far?"
"Death is possible," Rei agreed. "But that is irrelevant."
Both Asuka and Shinji jerked their heads around to her. "Don't say such things!" Asuka protested. Shinji looked sad.
"It is the truth," Rei insisted. "I am..." She looked at Mana and then stopped. "It is irrelevant."
The mood thus thoroughly killed, the four students ate in silence. Asuka was annoyed. Now there was one day when Shinji's idiotic friends would leave them alone during the break, and what happened? The new transfer student clung to them. Just great. Okay, yes, the praise had been nice, but Mana's presence still felt like an intrusion. Oh well. There's still dinner tonight.
After a while, Mana spoke up again, hesitantly: "It's a bit silly of course that I've started attending this class now. I'll be here three days, and then you guys will be away for a week."
"Huh?" Asuka asked. "What do you mean?"
"Uh... your class' trip to Okinawa?" Mana explained.
"Okinawa?" Asuka exclaimed. "That's... that's next week? I thought it would be in two m... gah! Shinji! Is that true?"
"Uh, yeah," Shinji just answered. "You didn't know? Not that it matters. I don't think we can go, anyway."
"What do you mean?" Asuka demanded to know.
"I doubt we can leave Tokyo-3," Shinji explained. "What if an angel attacks?"
"You mean, I fight those giant monsters, and as reward I can't even go on the class trip?" Asuka shouted. "We'll see about that, verdammte Scheiße! That would be outrageous. You'd think piloting Evangelion would come with rewards not punishments like that!"
Shinji made an awkward face. "It isn't really a punishment. Just... a necessity."
"We have no immediate replacements," Rei spoke up. "Since we are the elite, as you often point out."
Asuka glared glumly at her. Rei speaking up was a good thing, but why did she have to speak up by throwing Asuka's words back at her? That was just not fair!
"I mean, we still won't have school, so that's good..." Shinji tried to calm Asuka down.
The redhead would have none of that. "Not good enough! I'll call Misato right now and..." She looked at the clock at the wall. "Oh for fuck's sake. Fine, after school then. But I'm telling you, if she makes us stay at home, then... then I'll... grrr..."
"You can tell her face to face," Rei stated. "I just got a message. There will be a synch-test directly after school."
"This keeps getting better and better," Asuka muttered. "Yes. She's going to get such a mouthful!"
Misato was getting a mouthful. Unfortunately, or maybe rather fortunately, Shinji didn't understand a word of it. Asuka had chosen to hold her rant in German, and she had started as soon as they had met Misato inside the Geofront.
Misato made only token attempts at defence, in German, until finally she came to a stop in a break room. It was a small, drab room, like most areas down here. Some soda machines, three tables with chairs, a single poster at the wall. Clean, but still depressing. The typical decoration-less style of the Geofront.
"Look, Asuka," she said in Japanese. "I understand your outrage, but there really is nothing we can do. What happens if an angel appears?"
"Drop a N2 mine onto it," Asuka replied immediately and firmly.
"That works if we can intercept it at the coast," Misato agreed. "But what if it comes down from the sky again? Or appears directly next to the city? We still haven't figured out where exactly the angels hide and what their approach vectors are. Maybe they spontaneously materialize, for all we know."
"Even then N2 mines work", Asuka argued.
"Yes, but would you have half of Tokyo-3 levelled just for the sake of your vacation?" Misato asked back.
"Tokyo-3 wouldn't even be standing anymore, period, if it weren't for me!" Asuka pointed out.
Misato's mouth formed a thin line and her posture became rigid. "That's true. It's because you're an EVA pilot. And as long as you are while the angels are attacking, you'll be on stand-by. We have no other choice."
Asuka scoffed. "Easy for you to say. Making the hard choices... for others."
"You have a choice as well, you know?" Misato shot back. Asuka just crossed her arms and glared at her, challenging her to explain herself. "Nobody's forcing you to stay an EVA pilot."
"WHAT?" Asuka shouted. "But you need me!"
"Even so, I'm sure you could drop out of the pilot roster in time to take the trip on Monday," Misato answered. It sounded slightly terse. "We wouldn't force you to do otherwise."
"But... you need me!" Asuka repeated. Shinji was surprised by her vehemence. This was beyond just the usual forceful protestations of the girl.
"We'd be pretty screwed up with one less Evangelion, but we'd make do," Misato answered. Asuka suddenly turned stiff. Misato's voice suddenly became very serious. "We won't... we aren't forcing you."
Asuka face's darkened. "Make do. I see." It sounded surprisingly calm, if tense. Then she simply turned on the spot and walked out. She didn't run or anything, she just walked without looking back.
"A... Asuka!" Shinji called after her. She didn't react.
Misato groaned. "Damnit. I fucked that up. I wanted to talk about that with her in... ah, nevermind. It's probably best if she can vent some steam. We can schedule her test last."
Shinji looked towards where Asuka had gone. "But..."
"Ritsuko will have my head if you two are late as well!" Misato insisted. "We'll schedule your test first."
Shinji looked down. That somehow didn't feel right, leaving Asuka alone like that. She had been so quiet before leaving. She hadn't shouted or run or anything, but that somehow made it even worse. It seemed all of her usual liveliness had just been drained from her.
Just like... Just like when we talked. When she told me about her... her upbringing. And that had been some serious stuff...
"It's just..." Misato whispered quietly. "I should've known this. Now Asuka thinks we don't need her."
...Oh.
Feeling useless. Yeah. He knew all about that. Asuka and Shinji had talked about that, and now...
Maybe there was nothing Shinji could do; that would be par for the course. But he and Asuka had shared something special, and surely that had to mean something, right? So, he wordlessly turned around around and tried to follow Asuka. He ignored Misato's exasperated sigh behind him, and when he didn't see Asuka around the corner he started a light jog.
He found her around another corner, sitting on a small maintenance staircase, her head resting on her hands. She seemed to be brooding.
Shinji stepped at the edge of the staircase, so that he now stood behind her. "A... Asuka. Are you alright?" Well, how's that for an absolutely useless question?
"Just damn annoyed by Misato," Asuka told him without turning her head. "No need to come running for me!"
Oh. Of course not. Now that he was here, Shinji realized there indeed was little he could actually do. He felt foolish.
It was then that Ayanami came running in. She looked as expressionless as always, but it was rare for her to go faster than just walking.
This caused Asuka to jump up and turn around, looking up angrily to the both. "You as well? What's this about?"
"Captain Katsuragi told me that now I might 'as well go after you, too'," Ayanami explained.
"What for?" Asuka shouted. "There's nothing you can help me with. Nothing I need help with! I don't need your attention."
Ayanami nodded. She looked as if she was about to turn, but then hesitated. Meanwhile, Shinji tried to gather something that might resemble an answer: "Well, no, I... I didn't say so..."
"Then why are you here?" Asuka pushed on.
"I... I don't know," Shinji admitted weakly. "I didn't really think it through. I just... I didn't want to leave you alone." Asuka drew in breath, as if she were about to shout, but Shinji just continued monotonously. "Since we both know what's that like."
Asuka exhaled. "We do." There was no inflection in her voice. It was impossible to tell how she meant that.
Uncomfortable with the ensuing silence, Shinji continued, "I suppose you're right. You don't... you don't need us. But I..." He looked at Ayanami. "...we still wanted to make sure you're okay."
Unexpectedly, Asuka smirked. "You're a fool then." She looked at Ayanami. "Two fools. But I can't exactly fault you for that kind of foolishness, now can I?"
"We should return to Captain Katsuragi," Ayanami spoke up. "...if you are feeling better."
Asuka scoffed. "I suppose there's a reason she has called us here to NERV, so we might as well get it behind us."
The three walked side by side, Asuka surrounded by Shinji and Ayanami. Both of the flanks made sure to stay exactly at her sides.
"This Okinawa thing is really pissing me off," Asuka said. "And that talk with that Mana girl today... it's true. We really aren't getting enough recognition."
Praise was nice, but Shinji didn't want to appear needy or annoying. He liked the praise he was getting for piloting, but he would never demand it. So he stayed q...
"Ikari has said the same thing," Ayanami answered.
Two heads turned towards her. "What do you mean?" Asuka demanded to know.
"That he likes the praise he is getting for piloting," Ayanami explained.
Asuka chuckled and gave him a predator's grin. "Do you now, Third? And has Rei here... praised you?"
Shinji began stammering, but was saved by Ayanami simply commenting quietly, "If two pilots value praise and recognition, then maybe there should be more praise and recognition. I would wish that for you two."
Ah. Huh. Ayanami saying that was all the more remarkable because she herself did not seem to value praise, and besides, it was somewhat a criticism of NERV, if ever so slightly... and that from her. Those two things made Ayanami saying that valuable. Yet neither he nor Asuka found an answer to her.
When the three returned to the break room, Misato looked exasperated but refrained from making a comment, instead simply leading them on further to the EVA testing rooms. There, they found Dr Akagi in her usual labcoat, outside the room they were supposed to meet her in, leaning against the wall outside the door to it, smoking a cigarette.
"That's bad for the ventilation system," Misato greeted her. "Not to mention the extra work for the cleaning crews."
"It's bad for my lungs as well," Dr Akagi admitted and puffed out. "But some people kept me waiting."
Misato sighed. Shinji looked abashed. Asuka struck a defiant pose. Ayanami showed no reaction.
"I'm sure you'll get the Section 2 reports on it tomorrow," Misato told her with a certain annoyance in her voice.
Asuka scoffed at that, while Shinji felt slightly awkward. He didn't like being reminded that he was being watched. And not just here. Even when he was out in the city, or even only at school... he could never be sure, but it was safe to assume Section 2 agents were nearby.
Dr Akagi shrugged. "That may well be. So, if whatever has been keeping you has finally been settled..." Misato just glared at her. "Right. To the point then. I wanted to give you a lengthy presentation on what we're going to do, but we don't have the time for that anymore. We've prepared Units 01 and 02 for the test. Asuka, for you this will just be a normal activation and synch-test. Rei, Shinji, for you I have something special planned. You will be in EVA-01's entry plug together and try to synchronize at the same time."
Shinji looked up in surprise. Misato furrowed her brows. Asuka exclaimed, "What?"
"It should be possible, in theory," Dr Akagi defended herself. "Both can synchronize with EVA-01. There's no reason to assume they shouldn't be able to do it at the same time. In fact, we maybe should have looked into double-synching before already... hm..."
"May I remind you that the last time you tried putting pilots into other people's Evangelions, Unit 00 went straight for Rei and me?" Asuka exclaimed forcefully.
"I doubt that was the case," Dr Akagi muttered. "Anyway, the only times EVA-01 has ever acted autonomously were to protect its pilot. In theory, there should be no danger to Shinji or Rei." She smirked. "Nice to see you care, though."
Asuka harrumphed and threw her head back in a defiant pose.
"In theory," Misato echoed. "Yes, that'll put our minds to rest.
Dr Akagi smirked again. "That's the plan, yes." When she was met with looks of confusion, she explained, "I probably should credit this idea to Rei. She spoke to me last time she came to get her medication. About how she's comfortable in EVA-01, but Shinji isn't, and about how she just can't communicate to him why she is. She mentioned something along the lines of wishing she could just make him feel it." That smirk again. "I was honestly kinda surprised that she could even hold a conversation for so long." Shinji furrowed his brows. What does she mean by that? That isn't very nice to say. "But well, that's what we're going to try."
Asuka was the first to understand, sort of. "...telepathy?"
Dr Akagi chuckled. "Nothing as fancy as that, I'm afraid. We're dealing with science here and keep to the laws of physics, instead of dabbling with the supernatural. There won't be a connection between Shinji's and Rei's mind. They will both be connected to the EVA, after all, not each other. But they should be able to feel those connections. Shinji should be able to feel how secure Rei's link to EVA-01 is... in theory. It's worth a shot, at least."
Shinji glanced towards Rei, who was of course standing perfectly still and looking straight ahead. Feeling her connection to the EVA? He wondered what that would be like.
"Well, get dressed, you three," Dr Akagi ordered. "No sense in wasting even more time."
Dr Akagi had told him they would be in the same entry-plug, but Shinji hadn't really realized what this would mean. Until now.
They were using one of EVA-00's entry-plugs, the model that did not have a large control unit in front of the pilot's seat. That was necessary because that space was now taken up... by Ayanami, who was essentially sitting in Shinji's lap.
It was... awkward. Shinji didn't know what to do. He leaned back as much as possible and left his arms dangling uselessly at his sides, all so that Ayanami would still have as much space as possible. Their legs inevitably touched, were almost intertwined and that... his heart thumped, but it felt good. It felt close. And somehow, while that closeness with Rei was awkward, he didn't feel threatened by it. Just unsure what to do and how to act.
Nonetheless, Shinji had protested at first. Ayanami could have the pilot's seat, he'd just... stand around behind it or something. Like Kensuke and Touji had during the fight against Shamshel. Dr Akagi had insisted on the two pilots sharing the seat, though. Apparently, the location inside the entry-plug could influence synch-rates.
So now, Shinji tried his best to breathe evenly and not to think of the body in front of him. A body in ridiculously thin plugsuit, its posterior directly pressed against his thighs. Oh wow... He felt really, really warm right now.
Ayanami wiggled slightly. Oh gods. She was wiggling again. Maybe she was sitting uncomfortably, which would be... ehem... EHEM... understandable. Though the wiggling did the exact opposite of helping with that problem. Damn it, are those suits thin! And Shinji imagined it had to be kinda bad for Rei as well. Which was why he also felt bad about also enjoying the situation on some level; he kinda felt like he was exploiting Ayanami.
"We're going to second-stage connection now," Dr Akagi announced.
Right. The EVA. Concentrate on the EVA, Shinji. Not on the girl currently rubbing her butt against you, she's probably not interested in any of that, anyway. The EVA.
At least right now his mind was far too distracted to think about what could go wrong, about what had happened to his mother, about what this unit had done. He was far too concentrated on Ayanami. That still left very little mental space for trying to synchronize with the EVA, though.
"Those are some... turbulent values," Shinji could hear Ibuki mutter. Dr Akagi snickered. Blood rushed into his face.
But... there was something. Some sort of feeling that spread inside him. It was difficult to describe. It was something solid, something rock hard, something unshakeable. He stopped in his awkward movements trying to stay clear of Ayanami for a while to look at her. She was sitting perfectly still now and had her eyes closed.
It's her. It's her connection to the EVA.
Shinji sensed no doubt in there. No thought of failure. A bit of tension maybe, preparation for if things got worse, but also a total willingness to face that prospect, to face any prospect necessary to doing what had to be done.
He was in awe.
He also was slightly jealous of such security, of such absolute determination. It was something he wanted to have as well. And if Ayanami could have it, then why not he as well? At least, as far as the EVA was concerned. Maybe she had been right; it would have been impossible to try to explain this feeling of security, but now that he felt it as well... if Ayanami could have this trust, then so could he.
"We'll just have to try," he heard Dr Akagi on the comm system. "Initiate the third stage."
There was a new feeling, something undefined. But at least it was there. During the last half dozen attempts in EVA-01 he hadn't felt a single thing. There had been no mental feedback at all. But now, he felt an opening. However, he was still doubtful, his mind still reeling away from it, spurned by images of a disaster that happened ten years ago. And he felt...
...he felt Ayanami.
Not just her body in his lap. He felt... maybe not her mind, but a sense of Ayanami-ness. A spirit of her, maybe. And it was a glorious feeling. Firm in resolution, but soft in other ways. Caring... for him? Surprisingly warm. And beyond all measures, comforting.
Shinji felt like he was being carried by a wave of intrinsic goodwill, like swimming in an ocean of safety, surrounded on all sides by this magnificent presence. The earlier awkwardness, his fear of EVA-01, his feeling of inadequacy, that all was forgotten now, washed away by that powerful wave. How could he fear EVA now? How could he fear anything when he was basking in that warm, glowing comfort?
He breathed in, feeling absolutely content. He didn't even fully realize it, but his arms closed around Ayanami. Her body now felt as warm as what he could feel of her mind. And she reacted as well, arching her back, and nestling herself closer to him. He didn't mind, he didn't feel uncomfortable, quite the opposite. This was right. This was good. He trusted her implicitly. And she... she trusted him. For whatever reason. He could scarcely believe it, but it was true; he could feel that trust as plainly as her determination.
And there it was again, that earlier form of safety and comfort he had always felt inside the EVA, ever since his first battle with Sachiel. A feeling he had lost in that time when he had been unable to synch, but now there it was again, as if it had never gone away. The EVA was no threat. How could it be if Ayanami would open her soul to it like that? He trusted Ayanami without hesitation. If Ayanami's presence declared the EVA good, then the EVA was good.
It was... It was like...
"I'm home," he whispered.
Welcome home.
Rei liked EVA-01. Piloting it wasn't as straining as it was with EVA-00. There was no resistance to it, no other her that demanded satisfaction, revenge, freedom. Instead, EVA-01 was... protective. It was not another her, and yet... Rei didn't actually know what it was. She was well-read on metaphysical biology, but she didn't know why she could synch with EVA-01. It wasn't necessary for her to know. What mattered was that she could.
She could understand Ikari's concerns. Safety was important. What she could only barely understand was why those concerns would stop him from synching. Yes, the Evangelions were dangerous, even for their own pilots. Nobody knew that better than Rei. But if the angels won, then they would be all just as dead. Or if the Commander's mysterious human enemies won. The mission had to come first, always.
Granted, Ikari was not replaceable, while she was. Maybe that made a difference.
She could feel him now. The Pribnow Room had just initialized the second stage connection. Just as Dr Akagi had predicted, she couldn't read his mind, but it felt like his mind, not just his body, were somehow physically present. It was a sense of Ikari-ness.
It felt... vulnerable. Like a hunted animal. And careful, oh so careful. Careful not to hurt her, not to bother her, not to fail in her eyes. She reached out instinctively; not bodily, but in her mind. Set her resolution against Ikari's doubts. She wanted to help him, almost as an automatic reaction.
"We'll just have to try," Dr Akagi spoke on the comm system. "Initiate the third stage."
Rei breathed in hard.
She could feel the core of the EVA resonating in her mind, as always, but this time there was more. There was Ikari. A sense of fragility, of vulnerability... of goodwill, of concern for her... So much concern. Rei was used to people treating her as a tool, as a means to an end. That was alright because she was just that, in fact. But Ikari... it seemed the utmost thing in the world for him right now was to not hurt her. Was to never hurt her.
Ayanami latched onto that concern. It was a new experience for her. She had known of course that Ikari cared for her, but... this was so much in contrast to how she normally felt, to how people treated her. She realized she wanted more of that. And she also wanted to calm Ikari, to soothe him, to make him less afraid. It was almost a need.
She felt his arms around her waist and leaned back against him. This was not what had been planned, but...
...it was maybe the nicest experience Rei Ayanami, either of them, had ever had.
Asuka ground her teeth.
Shinji, that idiot, was still positively glowing. He had been ever since he and Rei had come out of EVA-01. Rei, that other idiot, was not quite as obvious – unless you knew her. She was actually attentively looking at Shinji. And that was highly unusual for her. What have the two been doing inside that Evangelion?
Asuka had heard some of the comm chatter between the Pribnow Box and the Evangelion. And she could almost imagine it, Shinji and Rei sitting very close together in those skin-tight plugsuits they all wore... Grr...
The redhead felt a certain annoyance about it, and a certain fear. If she were honest with herself, she felt excluded. But what should she do now? Feel now? She could be jealous of Rei in regards to Shinji. But maybe she could also be jealous of Shinji in regards to Rei. And being both would just be silly. And yet, she felt... she felt like she was losing out to both of them. Or losing them. That neither of them might need her.
It had always been clear that there was something between the two, ever since Asuka had arrived in Japan. Of course, the two were too blind and passive for anything to ever come out of it. Surely, it couldn't be that they'd beat Asuka to the punch?
...what punch even, Gott im Himmel!
That was the crux of the issue. Asuka was unsure what she herself even wanted. She just generally feared losing out, being left out. She had to be at the top. People had to pay attention to her. Otherwise, everything would come undone.
"So it seems I can synch again," Shinji told Asuka.
His voice was so upbeat, his eyes bright, and there was a shy but brilliant smile on his face... ...hrm. Maybe something good has come out of this, after all. But not due to Asuka. Due to Rei. It wasn't that Asuka begrudged Shinji his success. She was even glad for him. If she were quite honest with herself, she liked Shinji smiling like that. But she was acutely aware how she had no part in it.
"How nice for you," she hence replied in a very ambiguous tone. A tone that made it sound like she didn't actually think so at all.
Shinji's smile dimmed at that.
Scheiße. Now I've done it again.
"It does seem like it, yes," Dr Akagi agreed. She, the pilots and Misato were in the Pribnow Box, going over the result of the tests. "We measured synch connections from both you and Rei. In fact, we measured notably high synch-rates. Despite your recent troubles with synching, you were around five points over your usual value, Shinji, and you even ten over yours, Rei. We really should look more into this double synching. There seems to be some potential there."
Misato tapped a finger against her chin. "Hm. You think we could utilize that in combat? And would that also work with Asuka?"
"Combat is your area, Captain," Dr Akagi answered. "As for Asuka... she can't cross-synch with Rei and Shinji. I doubt we could get her to synch in EVA-01, or Shinji or Rei to synch in EVA-02."
Misato grinned at Asuka. "You're just too damn special, Asuka."
"Hmpf. Of course I am!" Asuka agreed. But inwardly, she felt dread. So she would continue to be excluded...
"Any reason for the heightened synch-rate, Rits?" Misato wanted to know.
"We've only just measured it!" Dr Akagi reminded her. "I haven't had time yet to formulate hypotheses. Could be that two minds, if working sufficiently in harmony, can just bear more of a synchronization strain, for lack of a better word, than a single one. Could simply be positive reinforcement from one another. Could be anything else. Take your pick."
Akagi's words went through Asuka's mind. Two minds in harmony... positive reinforcement from one another... It was just not fair. It seemed Asuka had never had a chance to begin with. And worst of all was that Shinji and Rei weren't even seeing this! Hell, they still called each other by family names! That was actually somewhat infuriating. On their own, their relationship would never lead anywhere.
...that's it! That's the solution!
It dawned on Asuka. If she could set the two up, then she wouldn't have lost. In fact, then this would be her success. She would not be defeated, because she would have stepped out of the competition. It would even solve her state of confusion regarding the two. She could bow out of the whole mess completely, and concentrate on Kaji. Zwei Fliegen mit einer Klappe! [6]
It was such a neat solution to the whole conundrum! Rei and Shinji had to get together through her efforts. They would be happy, she would be in control of the situation and she would be rid of her confusion. Without anyone paying attention to her, she grinned.
"My chance," she muttered quietly.
It was time to devise a battle plan.
[1] German ranting questioning Mana's mental state.
[2] "Looks tasty. May I join you?"
[3] "What, can everyone speak German here?"
[4] "Not poor Ikari, confused as he looks."
[5] "Of course not."
[6] "Two flies with one swatter", i.e. "Two birds with one stone"