There was an upside to not going to school currently: Even though Asuka, Shinji, Rei and Misato had sat until late into the night working on their list of demands, Asuka still felt well rested, as she had slept accordingly long into the morning. Now she was back here, at the long table in one of the Geofront's conference rooms, the pilots on one side of it and NERV command on the other. This time, Asuka glared hostilely at Fuyutsuki as they were sitting down. After what Rei had told her and Shinji about herself, about how NERV had created and treated her… Asuka was not in a conciliatory mood with NERV. Not at all. Part of her wanted to demand the removal of Fuyutsuki and Akagi, but she knew that would never work. They had to stick to their plan.

They would deal with Fuyutsuki and Akagi later. For now, they had to ensure there would be an effective EVA defence when the next angel would come. Misato had stressed the need of that quite clearly the previous evening, and Asuka agreed with her.

There was an awkward silence, before Kaji spoke up. "Very well. I assume both sides have used the time to come up with proposals." He sounded oddly hollow, as if he hadn't gotten much sleep, either.

"We have," Fuyutsuki answered. "NERV does recognize that mistakes have been made in the past. Trying to spring an uncomfortable test on the pilots was a bad idea, for example. Therefore, we will ensure that there is always proper communication with the pilots, that they are kept abreast of all developments, and that they will always be informed in advance about any irregular events."

Asuka raised an eyebrow. "Proper communication. Does that also include the battlefield?"

"By its very nature, battlefield intelligence is sensitive," Fuyutsuki stated. "But improvement of battlefield communication would also be one of our goals."

"I take that as a no then," Asuka concluded.

"And besides, isn't that the same thing you said last time?" Touji spoke up. "Great. We'll be informed about humiliations. But we'll still have to go through with them."

"While pilots are not officially part of the military command structure, we do need obedience to fight the angels effectively," Akagi stated.

Is it me or does she sound smug about that? Asuka scoffed. Kaji intervened: "Yeah… so. NERV doesn't recommend any structural changes?"

What's with him? He sounded actually annoyed by the bickering, which didn't fit to his usually unflappable demeanour.

"We see no need for it," Fuyutsuki answered. "We admit that, in the past, we haven't always treated the pilots as we should have. And that will stop. They will get the respect they are due. But that can't be an excuse to get out of certain necessities."

"It is exactly that status as 'necessities' we question," Kaworu commented.

Wordlessly, but with a slightly triumphant demeanour, Asuka got some sheets of paper out of her bag: The list of the pilots' demands. She handed a copy each to Kaji, Fuyutsuki, Akagi and, for appearances, Misato. "We, on the other hand, do see a need for change. Like, a change in everything, if we are to stay here. We must clear up what can be expected from us."

"If you are to stay here?" Akagi muttered, but she focused on the piece of paper in her hands.

Fuyutsuki furrowed his eyebrows. "This is a highly concerning first point, Soryu."

"This is the most important point," Asuka explained. "Detailing what can be expected from us. Our duties."

"Battles against angels… regular synch-tests… combat training," Fuyutsuki summarized the point.

"And nothing else," Akagi continued.

"No scientific tests, no PR actions, no team or morale-building missions," Asuka explained. "That all has to be on a strictly voluntary basis."

"You can't pick and choose what you do at NERV!" Akagi protested.

"And why not?" Kaworu argued. "The angel threat is the only thing that justifies your use of, frankly, child soldiers, isn't it? But that means that justification then only extends to actually fighting angels."

Asuka furrowed her brows. Kaworu sounded… almost normal today. Instead of carrying his usual, creepy perma-smile, he had sounded almost grumpy now. But 'child soldiers'… Misato had advised her to use that argument as well, but it was just not how Asuka saw herself. She was an EVA pilot, part of the elite, the only people who could save the Earth. She wasn't a victim. She just wanted to make sure she got the proper respect.

"And we will," Asuka confirmed. "We will fight and we will train and we will obey actual operational orders during battles. But only those orders. Anything beyond that will have to be on a strictly voluntary basis."

"This still amounts to you wanting to be able to decide what orders to follow and which ones not," Fuyutsuki commented. "And as for you, Pilot Soryu, your record of following orders during battle isn't exactly great, either."

"I know," Asuka answered through clenched teeth. Now came the hard part, but Misato had made it clear to her why it was needed. "And I won't defend that. I… I disobeyed orders I should have obeyed. Okay? So… any disciplinary action against me for that will be justified. I'm willing to accept those."

"Oh how gracious of you!" Akagi mocked. "Like you would get a say in that. Why should we listen to you? As I've said before, we're not doing any of this for… for… shits and giggles. We do need to keep you optimized for the sake of the defence of the world. Whatever comes with that."

"It's bad enough we have to fight," Touji spoke up. "We aren't even talking about compensation for that. But all that stuff that comes with being a pilot that isn't even necessary to defeat the angels. Like your crazy test idea. It's like… we already are expected to fight, save all you people's asses, but that then comes with additional humiliation!"

"You want to have it both ways," Asuka added. "First you say, hey, if I don't like it, I can leave – but then you say I can't leave, because defence of the world and all that!"

And truth be told, Asuka didn't want to leave. But this attitude still pissed her off.

Fuyutsuki just sat there, his brows furrowed and looked at everyone. He remained silent. Instead, Akagi replied. "I'm sorry. But we can't just forego further EVA research altogether. There are necessities besides just figh..."

"Then why should I stay?" Asuka intervened loudly. Her heart was thumping. She had no intention to leave. She was an EVA pilot. She was part of the elite. But NERV couldn't take her for granted! "If the only way to get rid of all that bullshit, the only way to… to… defend my dignity is to leave this all behind, then what else am I supposed to do?"

Touji looked down at the ground. Asuka could understand. There wasn't much he could say there without endangering his sister. Not that she wanted to endanger her… and it wasn't like she truly planned to leave, anyway, but… but… Asuka was just so fed up with NERV's attitude.

Kaworu, meanwhile, looked at her with furrowed brows, and stated, "She… is right." It sounded oddly curt and hollow. "If leaving NERV is the only way we can protect ourselves from indignities, then… why shouldn't we leave?"

"Because the world depends on you," Misato stated. Being in 'Major Mode', she said so entirely matter-of-factly.

"But I am willing to fight!" Asuka exclaimed. Misato had told her she would bring up that point during the discussions, most likely. "Willing to protect the world! But that doesn't mean I have to endure all the other bullshit! And if the only reason to protect myself from that other bullshit is to leave… as you've said, Misato… then what else can I do?"

Kaji looked at Asuka, then at the NERV delegation. His mouth was thin, and one hand a fist. He said quietly, "And NERV can't risk losing use of two EVA units."

With a deep, growling voice, Fuyutsuki spoke up again. "Let's get to the second point."

"We won't follow any suicide orders," Asuka specified the point. "Or any orders that will result in the death of one of us. Our survival always has to have highest priority, after completing the mission, of course. And rescuing any one of us must have always have higher priority than salvaging Evangelions."

"So even during battle you want to pick which orders to follow," Akagi mocked.

"If we can't even be sure you have our life and wellbeing on your mind… how can we pilot then?" Touji protested.

"Evangelions are of no use to you if we're dead," Asuka pointed out. "EVA-02 is useless to you without me."

"EVA-01 is double-booked," Misato pointed out emotionlessly, giving a cue to Asuka.

"Yes," Asuka admitted. "It might make sense to prioritize EVA-01. Hence why we have to ensure here that won't happen. If you try that again in battle, we will disobey. I mean come on! Of course we will protect our own lives here! I won't follow suicide orders! I'm not a… a..." She scoffed.

Something reached through Misato's stony Major mask. She flinched.

Further demands were discussed: No secondary battle aims, no intrusion into the pilots' lives, full anonymity for the pilots if they so wished, no military etiquette like uniforms being asked of them. Fuyutsuki seemed to have little problems with most of those, and they had been mostly added for completeness' sake – this was to be the agreement to put the entire relationship between NERV and pilots on a new foundation after all. But the obvious rejections of the first two points was almost tangible in the air.

"And finally the last point," Fuyutsuki muttered. Then he blinked. "I don't understand… you already do get full medical care."

Asuka sighed. This point had been added last minute by Kaworu: Full medical and veterinary coverage. "It's about the veterinary care."

"For my kitten," Kaworu added with a smile on his face. Asuka sighed again.

It seemed for once, Fuyutsuki really was speechless. Then he raised his hand to his face and sighed as well.

Then he looked at Asuka. "You have demanded a lot."

"We're just not willing to do anything more than what we signed on for," Asuka answered. "We're here to fight angels. By… by what right can be more be demanded of us?"

"But you will fight the angels now?" Fuyutsuki asked of her. He sounded grave.

"Of course!" Asuka told him. "I was always willing to! I just want… to be treated fairly."

"And you will come to regular synch-tests and combat training?" Fuyutsuki inquired further.

Asuka nodded. "To each and every such session. As long as it is regular stuff and not… you know."

"And you will obey orders?" Fuyutsuki went on.

"Operational orders," Asuka specified. "All orders during a battle, yes. And all orders to appear at synch-tests and training."

"So you won't do your own thing during battles anymore?" Fuyutsuki asked.

Asuka flinched. "No. I won't." She paused. "Unless you want to sacrifice one of us again."

"I need to be clear on this, Soryu," Fuyutsuki insisted. "Under normal circumstances you will follow orders?"

"Yes," Asuka replied. "No more… unilateral actions."

Now Misato took up the questioning. "And you will take responsibility for your insubordination during the last battle?"

Asuka raised her chin defiantly. "Yes." She paused. "Though I won't accept double standards."

"What does that mean?" Fuyutsuki wanted to know.

"I fucked up," Asuka admitted. "I should have listened to orders and stayed in reserve. Those orders were valid and legitimate after all. So, I deserve disciplinary actions against me. However, I'm not the only one who fucked up. People knew we would have a problem with a nude synchtest, and thus conspired to rob us of the ability to voice our lack of consent. People were planning to degrade us. That needs to have consequences as well."

"Yeah!" Touji agreed. "That wasn't okay! That wasn't okay at all!"

"People fucked up there," Asuka argued. "And we were the victims of it. True, we prevented the test, but this caused a lot of trouble for us. So I think we're owed an apology, by Dr Akagi and other people who took part in this."

Akagi scoffed. "Okay, maybe I didn't..."

Asuka cut her off. "A formal and public apology, in front of the NERV crew. Otherwise, it's worthless."

"No way!" Akagi protested. "Under no circumstance will I do that!"

Asuka was surprised by the scientist's vehemence. She had expected her to reject that demand, of course, but the scientist was almost shrieking.

"Then I don't see why I should take responsibility for my failure," Asuka stated coldly.

"You disobeyed direct orders!" Akagi shouted at her. "I was merely doing my job."

"Just following orders, eh?" Asuka muttered and scoffed.

"Under no circumstance will I apologize to you," Akagi insisted once again.

"Enough!" Fuyutsuki spoke just that one word, but it was sufficient to create silence at the table. "This is getting ridiculous. I will not have the defence of the world be sabotaged by such petty squabbling. Very well, I won't order anyone to apologize. There won't be any forced apologies or any disciplinary actions. We're drawing a clear line, and all of you will start with clean slate from here on." He breathed out. "NERV does in fact exist in order to defend the world from angels. And this aim may not be undermined by these petty feuds here. The pilots have presented a clear plan for a new foundation fpr relationships between command and pilots. I'm not happy with it. But if it works, then I'm willing to try it. Quite frankly, if the pilots don't want to do scientific tests or PR work, then that's no skin off my back. I frankly don't care. But listen to me, Soryu! All of you! You want respect, fine. We want security. We'll do it your way – but we will do it. You as well. No silly talk about leaving anymore. You're not free to just walk off anymore. And if any of you ever disobey orders during a battle again, I will see to it that you rot in the brig, regulations and your official status as not technically being soldiers be damned! Is that clear?"

Asuka grinned, but saluted. "Yessir!" Then she hesitated. "Though I'll have to ask Shinji and Rei if they'll commit to this."

"Very well, do so," Fuyutsuki told her. "But do we have an agreement?"

"We do," Asuka confirmed.

Kaworu merely nodded, while Touji also enthusiastically stated "Yes". On NERV's side, Misato nodded… and Akagi stood up and left the room.

As she was walking to the door, Asuka noticed that Kaworu hadn't even stood up from the table yet. In fact, despite what was clearly a victory for the pilots, he didn't look very happy. She furrowed her brows and walked over to him. After all, he had just shown he was one of… well, one of her side.

"Hey, shouldn't you be happy?" she asked him bluntly.

Kaworu's smile was definitely a sad one. "The joy resulting from this is unfortunately tempered by other concerns. But that shouldn't keep you from celebrating."

"Oh, I will, once I'm home," Asuka assured him. Wait. Was that already saying too much? It was annoying how she, Rei and Shinii had to keep their relationship a secret, but then, Asuka would have done anything in order to protect Rei.

"Don't mistake me, in any case," Kaworu continued. "I am in fact very relieved that these talks ended in success." And he genuinely sounded that way.

Asuka grinned. "So am I. We won."

Kaworu tilted his head. "We were lucky."

"How so?" Asuka asked.

"The Vice Commander never questioned me," Kaworu explained. "I made it appear as if I could leave… but..."

"Okay, yeah," Asuka admitted. "I wouldn't have liked to leave, either. I'm an EVA pilot. That's just who I am."

Kaworu looked at her with furrowed brows. Somehow Asuka felt… judged. "You wouldn't have liked it? It is more than just that. Despite his talk about avoiding petty squabbles, I feel as though Fuyutsuki relented because he feared we would leave. But if he had asked me… I couldn't have told him I would leave."

"What?" Asuka exclaimed. "Why not? What do you mean?"

"I would have folded," Kaworu asked. "I was bluffing, and not very strongly. Could you have done this, Asuka?" He sounded disappointed now. "To just leave, if these talks had gone nowhere?"

Asuka opened her mouth… and closed it again. Truthfully, she couldn't say. She really couldn't say what she would have done then.

"This would never have been an option for me," Kaworu said, quite sternly. "I could never leave the Earth defenceless. There are more important things out there than what we fought for today. We do need to protect the Earth. Innocent lives depend on us. And I have… personal reasons now to see to that."

Asuka looked down. She felt dismayed. Who was Kaworu to appear so high and mighty as he did right now? "But we are willing to fight for those lives, aren't we? I am. The problem is all the other crap NERV has burdened us with." Kaworu just kept looking at her. The feeling of being judged intensified. "Besides, we didn't leave. We just… mentioned we could."

"And I'm saying it's a good thing Fuyutsuki didn't question that," Kaworu told her. "Because I could never have seriously threatened innocent lives. Lives I care for. Not even as a bluff."

Asuka made a grimace. She didn't like Kaworu's pure-as-driven-snow moralism. On one level, it made her feel… inferior. On another, it just seemed impractical to her. "Whatever. Main thing is we succeeded."

And with that she turned around and left the grey-haired boy behind.

"Shinji! Rei!"

Shinji's face lit up. It was maybe not the traditionally Japanese greeting of stating 'I'm home', but the sheer enthusiasm in that voice was infectious. And what was more important, it announced Asuka had returned home.

He ran into the kitchen, Rei only slightly behind him. And before he could react, a German rocket was darting his way. Asuka basically jumped him, so that he staggered back against the kitchen table. Red hair framed his field of vision to all sides, and his lips met with Asuka's.

She laughed as she withdrew again. "We got it! We made it!" Then she grabbed Rei's head and kissed her as well. The blue-haired girl eagerly reciprocated. Shinji still felt enchanted. The kiss, and then seeing Asuka like this, so lively, so joyous, so enthusiastic...

So it was only with some delay that he realized Misato was standing in the entrance area. She had to have come in together with Asuka.

"Uh, hello, Misato," he greeted her somewhat awkwardly.

"Hello, Shinji," she replied. Her smile was equally awkward.

"We did it!" Asuka, still an arm swung around Rei, now announced, using the other arm for a fist pump. "Fuyutsuki agreed to our list!"

"All of it?" Shinji asked. He was somewhat surprised.

"Eh..." Asuka was hesitating. She even seemed a bit embarrassed. "Yes. However… in return he expects us to commit to piloting. As he stated it, we're not free to walk off anymore. And he will expect strict military discipline in battles. For me, that's fine… I intend to fight anyway, but… you'd still be free not to commit to this."

Shinji formed both hands into fists. It wasn't that he had intended to leave, but… he also had not planned to make such a decision. To commit to piloting for good now, without the chance to then leave. It would bind him. Then again, I'm bound anyway, am I not? I can't leave. Not if the angels truly do threaten the whole world. But that only made it worse.

Rei said, "I'm already committed. But..." She looked at Shinji.

"I'm sorry," Asuka whispered, her enthusiasm now gone. "But we'd have stayed anyway, and at least this way we get some benefits. But… I know I acted on my own…"

"That was your role," Shinji answered. He tried not to sound sullen. "And you're right. This is better than the alternative. It's just..."

In a nearly synchronized movement, Asuka and Rei stepped over to him and enclosed him from two sides in an embrace. "We know," Rei whispered, while Asuka repeated, "I'm sorry."

Shinji felt… safe. Stabilized. Whatever would happen, he had Rei and Asuka. His… his loves. He breathed out. "It's not your fault. I shouldn't have reacted like that. You won a victory, and I sound disappointed. I'm sorry about that. And Asuka… thank you. It seems you did very well. For our sake. So… thank you."

He heard Misato clear her throat. All three pilots looked at her now. "You'll only be a reserve pilot. I'll make sure of that. But it would be better if you could stay at least that. I'm sorry. It's not something you should have to do, but… you'd have my deepest gratitude if you did."

Shinji slowly shook his head. "I can't leave. I'm just glad things will get better with NERV now."

Misato bowed, not as long or deep as during her apology, but she did. "Then thank you for your service."

"Service?" Shinji echoed. "But..." Nobody had ever thanked him for that, except Mana that one time in class. Misato had lauded him at the very beginning, saying that he had done a praiseworthy thing, but thanked? That was just new to Shinji. And doubly so coming from Misato, who so far had rarely taken anything seriously. She had promised she would show gratitude from now on, but experiencing it, that was something else altogether. "You… you don't need to bow," he told her. In fact, he was a bit embarrassed by it.

"Even I agree with that," Asuka added, surprised amusement in her voice.

Misato's lips curved up on one side. "I'll keep that in mind." It almost sounded like one of her old teases again. "Well, but it is good to know we can count on all of you. I should go, leave you al..."

"Misato!" Shinji spoke up now, with a sudden, if fragile, determination. "Why… why don't you stay for dinner?"

Everyone was looking at him with some level of surprise. "Dinner? Do you think the girls will be okay with..."

"It's his home as well," Asuka stated with certainty. "He can invite guests." She chuckled. "He's the one cooking, anyway."

"And… uh… I'd like it if we could have our old dinners again," Shinji said awkwardly. Old… In truth, it hadn't even been two weeks since those had stopped. But what with everything that had happened in between, with the sheer panic that had engulfed him for days and had only been kept at bay by the girls, his partners, his loves, taking care of him, it felt like an eternity to him. An eternity he wanted to leave behind him now. "They were… nice."

"They were," Rei confirmed.

"Yeah..." Asuka whispered.

Misato smiled at them. It was a faint, shy smile at first, a mere polite gesture, but it grew into a genuine, broad smile. "I'd… that's very generous of you to offer, Shinji. I'd love to."

It wasn't really yet time for dinner, or even to start preparing it, but would be soon. Unsurprisingly, all things considered, it was Asuka who took the initiative in what to do now.

Misato smiled as she sat down in front of the TV screen. "It's been years since I last did this with you."

Asuka chuckled. "At least you did. Trying to get Kaji to play video games was like pulling teeth."

It took just two matches of Street Fighter for Misato to get used to it again. In the third match, she had defeated Asuka. And during that time, as she frantically smashed the buttons on the controller, she seemed to get less and less self-conscious and awkward. After the victory over Asuka, she even stuck her tongue out at the German girl. It was an almost reassuring display of typical Misatoness. Asuka just scoffed, and then went on to beat Misato again in the next match.

Misato also played some rounds with Shinji and Rei, and it showed that she had lived together with Asuka. She certainly seemed to have gotten some experience. And the fighting games had never really been to Shinji's taste, anyway. So after a while, he decided he might as well start preparing dinner.

At various times, Asuka and Rei came to see him in the kitchen, reached him some utensils, patted him on the back, stroked his hair. Shinji gladly accepted these distractions. Even while cooking, he got reassurances he wasn't alone. Would never be alone again. Even now, that was still important to him.

And when he served the meal, he did find it kinda nice to have Misato sitting at the table again. She had been the first person to be consistently nice to him, after all. She did have her flaws, of course. She hadn't apologized for nothing. But despite all the ups and downs of their relationship, Shinji still thought she was a good person. A person with whom he didn't want to lose contact.

And it was nice to see her reaction to eating his food for the first time in almost two weeks again. "People really undervalue ready rice with curry sauce, but… yeah, this is nicer. You're really good at this, Shinji."

Even now, Shinji still blushed. "Thank you, Misato."

For a while, everyone was busy with their meal. Misato was eating quite rapidly – quite enthusiastically. After some time, it was her who spoke up first again. "You're feeling better again, Shinji?"

Shinji nodded. The girls… his partners had seen to that. And he was infinitely grateful to them. "Maybe… maybe with some luck I can go to school again next week. Maybe… maybe not yet this week..."

"It's alright," Misato reassured him. "You've been hit hard. In the defence of the world, nonetheless. Take all the time you need. Though I think it'll do you some good to see your friends again."

Shinji smiled faintly. "Yes, maybe..."

"And I suppose you two will want to stay here for as long as he does?" Misato addressed Rei and Asuka. The two nodded. Misato grinned. "Well, it's kinda sweet. But make sure to catch up on your school work. Hopefully you can then be back to school next week."

Asuka fidgeted. "Well… actually… actually, Misato…"

"Yes?" Misato asked her.

Now the redhead got more determined. "I won't be returning to school."

Everyone looked at her with surprise. Asuka had never talked about any such plans before, not even with her partners. Shinji tried not to feel hurt. Maybe she simply hadn't been sure herself yet. After all, Asuka was someone who tended towards impulsive decisions.

"What do you mean?" Misato asked.

"This whole school thing is nonsense anyway!" Asuka exclaimed. Then she caught herself. "Sorry, Misato. But it is. I have a college degree. And now I'm in middle school again. Don't you think that's a bit absurd?"

"But you've had no problems with it so far," Misato remarked.

Asuka shrugged. "It was worth a try. But the classes don't actually teach me anything, I only understand half of what's written, and the people there… apart from these two here and maybe Hikari, they're all… all… well, they're middle schoolers. And it shows. Airheads, all of them."

Misato furrowed her brows at that. Then she sighed. "I thought you could make some friends, but..."

"I am a college graduate," Asuka emphasized that point once again. "What made you and Kaji think that an average middle schooler would be good company for me? These two here are special, but most of our classmates there… pfah."

"What about… what about learning kanji?" Shinji spoke up now.

"What for?" Asuka asked. "I'm not planning to stay here." An awkward silence followed that. "Or, well… maybe. If… if that's the only way we can stay together. If you don't want to come to Germany, I'd be willing to stay here. But… do I need to go to school again? Just for kanji?"

"So what else are you gonna do?" Misato asked.

"Piloting," Asuka answered seriously. "That's quite important isn't it?"

"Extraordinarily so," Misato agreed while looking her straight in the eyes. Then she sighed. "But fights and synch-test only take up so much time per week, and thank the gods for that. What will you do the rest of the time?"

Asuka shrugged again. "I'll find something. Hell, maybe I will just stay here and play video games. Still would be more productive than those classes."

"Is it really that bad?" Misato asked softly.

"I just don't see any sense in it anymore," Asuka told her. "If I ever did. School uniforms, cleaning duty… and really what the hell is up with that? Why should I clean school rooms? Old teachers who can't teach me anything. And a bunch of immature brats around us." Misato looked uncomfortable. "Oh come on. You can't say I'm throwing away my future or anything. Not when I already have a degree. And I really am contributing to society already."

Misato sighed. "That you are. And hence you should have… a chance at normalcy I guess. I recognize your genius. I respect it. A bachelor's degree at 14, that's extraordinary. And that while being a pilot. But after all that, wouldn't you like some normalcy?"

Normalcy… Shinji remembered that. The relative normalcy before he had come to Tokyo-3. Before he had been ordered to Tokyo-3 with a single word by his father. He knew it was impossible, but he would dearly love to return to such a normalcy. He would not ever let go of Asuka and Rei again, but living with them in a more normal environment, that would be heaven...

But Asuka of course thought differently about the matter. "I'm not normal. I'm a pilot. I'm better than normal."

Misato looked glum. Finally, she spoke up silently. "And how long do you think this will last? The angels won't be coming forever. What will you be after the war?"

"Then I'll still have my degree," Asuka argued.

"Yes," Misato admitted. "But then you won't be immediately recognizable as special anymore. Then you will have to put up with people. 'Airheads', like your classmates now. If you then still insist you're special, all you will achieve is driving away people. Or at least, that's what I fear."

"So what? Going to school is like desensitization training for me now?" Asuka asked. "Getting exposure to idiots?"

"School always is training in social skills as well," Misato insisted.

"I can go to school; that doesn't mean I'll actually socialize with the people there," Asuka countered and crossed her arms.

"Shinji, Rei… can't you say something?" Misato pleaded with them.

Rei shook her head. "This is Asuka's decision."

Shinji spoke up slowly and carefully. "I… I know what you mean with normalcy, Misato. Me, I'd like to have that. But… we can't. We fight these giant monsters on one day, and then two days later we're at school again as if nothing has happened. We can't even really talk about it with our classmates, because… they just wouldn't understand. Sometimes I think they do their best to not have to think about what we're doing. It's just… just..."

"Alienating," Asuka provided the right word. She sounded hollow.

Shinji nodded. That sounded correct. "As long as we pilot, we just won't have normalcy anyway. I mean, I guess I need to go to school to get an education and all that, but Asuka does already have a degree. However..."

"Yes?" Misato prompted him.

"Asuka… do you really want to sit here at home?" Shinji asked her, sounding slightly disappointed. "Not be at school together with Rei and me?"

Asuka looked uncomfortable. "You know, that would be an argument, yes. But what time do we really spend together there? The way to school, the way back and lunch break. And it's not like we can… you know, we have to keep everything secret anyway."

"That's true," Shinji admitted sullenly. "If… if you want to leave school, you should be allowed to." He looked at Misato.

She sighed. "Since you do have a degree, you're freed from compulsory schooling. I could unenrol you, but..."

"It wouldn't make a difference," Asuka said. "Either way, I'll simply not go anymore. After all, what can they do? Fail me? So what, I already have a degree. It's of no concern to me."

Misato sighed again. "I see you have made up your mind. Very well. As your guardian, I will have you unenrolled. But I do encourage you to go look for something else to do. I'll be looking as well. Some sort of university-level education, maybe."

"It would have to be in Tokyo-3, and they don't have an international university here," Asuka told her. "I already checked. And Japanese universities use those damnable kanji."

"Still, keep looking," Misato prompted her. "I'm still not super convinced this is the best for you, but if it turns out to be the wrong decision… we can enroll you again next school year."

"Don't bet on it," Asuka told her. "But… yeah. I will keep looking for alternatives." She breathed out. "Thanks, Misato. I… I thought you'd fight this harder."

Misato's voice got small. "Maybe… maybe I would have. Before, I mean. Before… well. This normalcy I talked about… it's always been for my benefit as well. Maybe mostly for mine. Part of the illusion I built up for myself, so that I could justify what I'm doing to you. Even though, as Shinji said, there won't ever be true normalcy for you as long as you are pilots." Her voice got steadier. "Go on then, Asuka. Break through the illusion. Maybe that's for the better."

"You… you did try to make it better for me as well," Asuka told her. "With your ideas about me having a normal as possible life. Maybe that was overly idealistic. But you tried, at least. It's just… I guess you can say it was a failed experiment. And it ends now."

Misato smiled shakily. "Shall we clean up the table?"

It was still early in the evening when they had finished with that, so Shinji decided to make tea for everyone. He liked how appreciative everyone was of his actions. It really hadn't been this way at all when he had first come to Tokyo-3, and in his life before that… the only one with whom he had had any real contact to had been his tutor, and he had hardly regarded him at all.

"This is nice," Rei whispered, when they all had been seated again, and she had her hands around her mug.

Asuka chuckled. "Imagine Shinji had never made you that one gift of tea. Now you're a tea junkie."

"I like its warmth," Rei said.

Shinji looked at her, and said in a serious voice, "You'll never lack for warmth again." Another thing that had changed. When he had first come to Tokyo-3, he would never have been able to say that. But both Asuka and Rei were so important to him...

Rei looked down and smiled. "It's just so different. Both from my life in my second body, and my life in..." She hesitated.

"Your life in the Evangelion," Asuka ended the sentence for her. "I never did quite understand what you meant with that."

"I… part of me… was EVA-00," Rei explained quietly.

"Because, as you said, your soul… part of your soul… had been transferred to it," Asuka prompted her to go on. Shinji and Misato were entirely silent and just listened. Rei nodded. "But… I don't understand. EVA-00 had a soul? Your soul?"

"Yes," Rei explained. "That is how synchronization works. A soul-to-soul contact. The Commander made me synchronize with myself – with the Rei within the Evangelion. It worked, but the other Rei was hard to control."

What?

"So… my unit has a soul as well?" Asuka asked, now entirely non-plussed.

What?

"Yes," Rei answered. "And so do the others. It has to be that way. Otherwise the pilots wouldn't be able to synch. And otherwise, the Evangelions would not be able to produce AT Fields. Only souls can do that."

What? Clearly this conversation couldn't be happening. What Rei and Asuka were discussing here, still relatively calmly, was just too absurd. The robots had souls? Whenever Shinji had synched, he had made contact to another soul?

Then it hit him. "When I cross-synched in EVA-00… I… I felt you. That was the part of your soul inside the unit, wasn't it?" Rei nodded. Shinji was terrified. It was so absurd, yet it all kinda made sense.

"And then… what I heard…" Asuka muttered. When she saw the others looking at her curiously, she explained, "When my unit went berserk in the last battle, I heard voices. I… don't clearly remember what they said. Some wanted me to live, and others wanted me to die… I didn't pay them much heed. After all, strange things can happen when an Evangelion goes berserk, and I don't want to be a nutter listening to voices in their head..."

"Every one of our units has gone berserk at one point," Shinji pointed out. "Is that… the soul inside the Evangelion taking over? But… does that mean they are living creatures?"

"Yes," Rei simply answered. Shinji felt like he had just been punched into the guts.

"Why haven't they ever told us?" Asuka exploded. "Why haven't you?"

"I was unaware you didn't know," Rei simply stated. And then with some hesitation. "I'm sorry."

"It isn't your fault," Misato reassured her. She sounded strangely calm, despite all the revelations. "But even I didn't know about this. But… Ritsuko. Akagi. She has to know. She is the head of Project E."

"She does," Rei confirmed. "As do the Commander and the Vice-Commander."

"Never mind that!" Asuka protested. "But… but… my Evangelion! It's a… person? A being?"

"It is an ensouled organism," Rei specified. "Not fully aware of its surroundings and not fully autonomous, which is why it needs to be piloted."

"Ensouled..." Shinji echoed.

Asuka still couldn't believe it. "So NERV took a soul… and dumped it into EVA-02? And other souls into 01, 03 and 04?"

"I don't know the details," Rei admitted. "But it stands to reason."

"I… I always thought it was just a robot." Asuka was speaking frantically now. "But a being? A human soul, maybe? Isn't… isn't that like slavery? We're controlling a being in its every movement! How can… that's monstrous! That's..." And then it hit her. "And you have been that as well. Or part of you. They made part of you nothing more than a… a…" Her face turned pale. "Doll."

Rei looked down. "I remember. But… only dimly. Vaguely. The soul inside the Evangelion is not fully aware. It is reduced to almost animal instincts and senses. And it is inert when the Evangelion has no power. Only in a berserk state are they fully in control."

"Still… that's… no wonder they tell nobody about this," Shinji stuttered.

"I don't know if I can ever look at EVA-02 the same way," Asuka added. "Nevermind synch with it… with the soul inside it!"

"And yet, the world depends on it," Misato reminded her gravely.

A depressing silence now lay over the table. The world had just become yet another bit colder and darker. It not only allowed for people like Ikari, who created his own personal slave dolls, its defence also rested on stuffing people's souls into giant abominations of science. And Asuka would indeed have little choice but to go on piloting her own personal abomination.

"What are we gonna do now?" Shinji asked, almost pleaded.

"Next time you synch… try to be friendly," Misato suggested. She always has a plan… "As monstrous as this may be, we can't stop it. Otherwise the souls inside the EVAs will die along with the rest in the ensuing Third Impact. All we can do is… make it easy on them. Somehow."

"Warm thoughts," Rei muttered. And if she wasn't an expert in this, then who could be considered one?

Everyone was now pretty depressed when Misato left the apartment again. A heavy mood hung in the air afterwards, as the three readied themselves for going to bed. What hit Shinji most was that for all of their suffering, it was possible the pilots didn't even have it worst. There were people used and misused by NERV even worse than them. People they had turned into complete dolls who couldn't even move on their own anymore.

And they would have to use those dolls or all die in Third Impact.

Even the presence of his two loves could only give Shinji so much comfort during the night.