Best~ Gracie Abrams

As Black and I tumbled down the tower, the thought that maybe this was a stupid decision after all sneaked into my mind, I always get those thoughts at exactly the right time.

But fortunately, Hermione came to the rescue again, Buckbeak passed swiftly from underneath us, catching Sirius halfway down, Sirius steadied himself quickly, while I, on the other hand, slipped sideways like a pack of potatoes. If I wasn't holding Sirius's hand I would've fell. Sirius, alongside Hermione, pulled me up as Harry guided Buckbeak back up.

I sat up, trying to catch my breath as I held on to Hermione desperately, the four of us were crowded on Buckbeak's back, simply trying to hold on, I couldn't even hear what Hermione was saying from the wind.

Finally, Harry landed on the other side of Hogwarts, on the west tower. Hermione ushered me off Buckbeak, Harry got off too, they both kept shouting at Sirius to leave. And before I knew it, Sirius Black alongside Buckbeak were flying in the distance, two innocent souls that were sentenced to death, now free.

I started asking questions as soon as Black started getting out of sight, but no one answered, Harry and Hermione started running almost instantly.

"Where are you two going? You said you were going to explain" I called as I ran after them, they stopped in a corner, ignoring me as Harry started taking out his cloak.

"No! don't put the cloak on, where are you going? What do I do?"

"We're going back to the hospital wing, don't follow us, get back to the Gryffindor tower and try not to get caught," said Harry urgently.

"But you said—"

"I will, but not right now we have to get back"

"But Harr—" Before I can object again, they draped the cloak over themselves and disappeared.

"Wait! What's happening?"

Nothing, they're gone, I'm going to kill them both. I sighed and started towards the Gryffindor tower.

Most of the staff were probably still taking care of the problem with black on the other side of the castle, because I reached the tower a bit too easily, not that I'm complaining. I was so tired from all the rush and excitement of the day, I couldn't even believe what was happening. I was sure Black was innocent now, but there were so many unexplained mysteries that were driving me mad. Harry and Hermione better have a good explanation because I can't really take it any longer.

It was laughable that I thought I might actually sleep after all this.

The moment the sun was up, I was out of my dorm and on my way to the hospital wing. Madam Pomfery doesn't usually let visitors that early, but being her favourite does give me some privileges. I was surprised to see Ron with a broken foot, I asked Pomfery about it, she said it had almost healed but had no information about exactly how it happened.

I shook Harry up, and after a lot of objections, he finally rubbed his eyes in a huff and started explaining what happened.

After Harry was done talking, I sat in silence for almost ten whole minutes, simply processing everything he had said. Everything was dawning on me, it was like I was taking an ice-cold shower.

Black's innocence wasn't the most shocking news anymore. My mind was racing, Harry was staring at me with concern, and I clenched my fists as my whole being was screaming 'the rat'. He was right there, all along, for two years now, he was right in front of me. I clenched my fists so hard it was starting to hurt, my fingernails digging into my skin, I took a calming breath.

"Is Lupin alright?" I asked

"We're not sure, the sun just came up," he said, anxiously.

I nodded slowly, I felt like a ticking bomb, the fact that the man who betrayed my parents to Voldemort was right in front of me all this time, and now he's gone, it just...it just...

"I'll go check on him," I said, unable to stop the coldness in my voice.

"Emma...you...you have nothing to say? About...you know..." he seemed anxious for me to understand it.

"You wouldn't like what I have to say, Harry," I said, trying my best to keep my voice steady

"Why not? Emma, we didn't know.."

"You didn't know what exactly? You didn't know Black was after you? You didn't know he presumably betrayed our parents? You didn't know he's your godfather? You knew all that and yet you kept it from me" I said, unable to hold myself back any longer.

"So did you apparently! Besides, you didn't tell me about Fudge now did you?"

"I'm the one who told Mr. Weasley to tell you! And then I had to keep digging out all the lies this whole year when you knew it all along and kept it, why is that do you reckon?"

"Stop acting like you're innocent, if you didn't know I know something, then why did you keep it? So stop being mad about it"

"Oh, you think I'm mad about this? That's not even what I'm most mad about Harry" I glared at him pointedly, feeling my anger starting to slip out of my measly control.

He sighed, "We didn't know Scabbers was Pettigrew, how could I have—"

"And what happened when you did know? Nothing, you did nothing, you let him escape"

"I didn't let him" started Harry, getting agitated in turn, "We were going to get him to Azkaban, if it wasn't for Lupin and the Dementors, he wouldn't have run away, what was I supposed to do?"

"You weren't supposed to do anything, you should've just shut up and let Black kill him in the first place" I could feel the familiar flames running through my veins as my voice got louder.

"That wouldn't have been right"

"Right?! Right?! Was it right when he betrayed the people who trusted him? Was it right when he spent twelve years in disguise while an innocent man was being tortured in that wretched place? Sirius was going to have his soul sucked from his body, would that have been right?" I could feel my eyes sting, my anger completely taking over me, blinding me, my control over my tongue was pretty limited by now.

"Listen" started Harry, trying to calm himself down and failing, "if Dad was there he wouldn't have wanted it to happen, he wouldn't have wanted him dead"

"Well Harry, Dad wasn't there, do you know why is that? It's because of him, it's because of that traitor and you let him go"

"For the last time, I didn't let him"

"You know what? I don't even care What you're justifications are, it wasn't your decision to make"

"You weren't there, and I did what was right"

"You did what was foolish, and me not being there is not an excuse, you always do this, you act like I don't get a say in the matter like they weren't my parents too, that's why you keep the stupid cloak like it's yours when he was my father too"

"That's not it, I..."

"You're right, that's not it, it's that you don't think I'm responsible enough, you still think of me like I'm a seven-year-old, you don't trust me to do anything, that's why you didn't want me to help yesterday, that's why you keep everything important from me, like I'm too weak to handle the news like you did, well guess what, genius? You messed it up, you made a bad decision without my help, and now he escaped, I hope you're happy"

"Just shut up already, I tried, I...I..."

He seemed on the verge of a mental breakdown, but I was so mad at him that I couldn't care less. But before I can start again, madam Pomfery interrupted me.

"Potter, if you're just going to fight I'm not going to let you stay!" She shrieked, glaring at me, I might've just lost my spot as her favourite, to say the least.

"Fine, I don't want to stay anyway," I said and stormed out.

As more sunlight started to scatter across the Hogwarts grounds, the noise of awake students started to echo around the halls, I sat just outside on the grounds, listening to the sound of students shuffling inside for breakfast. I rested my back on the castle walls and stared at the Great Lake in the distance, not really seeing it, but instead torturing myself with thoughts of yesterday. I wanted to go check on Lupin, but I was still trying to process everything. And honestly, I was a little scared of how he might be taking it all.

I just needed time, a moment alone to try and understand. He was right there, right there, in front of me. I kept imagining ways I could've killed him so easily, I could've just thrown him in a lit fireplace, I could've killed him so many times so easily, and I didn't, he's the reason, he's the reason for all of it he's the one that caused me all that pain. I spent months, hating Black with all my heart when it was he who did it all, Black had to spend twelve years, twelve years, in Azkaban, for something he didn't do. Even Hagrid still gets rocky whenever someone mentions that place, and he has to stay there and rot, knowing that his best friend had died at the hands of a traitor. I felt guilty for all the times I've wished to see Black dead, all the times I prayed for him to pay when all this time he wasn't the one at fault, it pained me thinking about how he stayed twelve years, barely holding his sanity together while simultaneously not trying to escape, the walls in his mind were higher than the ones outside. All because of that coward. I can't believe he's gone, all the missed opportunities...

"Emma! There you are, I've been looking everywhere" Sarah's voice, fortunately, pulled me out of my self-destruction cycle.

"I'm sorry...it's...been a hard day"

"Did you ever come back to the dorm last night?" She asked, sitting next to me with a concerned look on her face.

"I did, but I couldn't sleep," I said quietly.

"What happened, Emma, what's wrong?" Her voice was full of anxiety, I could see she was really worried about me.

"I...a few things... it's.." I didn't know if I could tell her, the last thing I want is for Sirius to be caught...but it was Sarah.

Before I knew it I started explaining, I couldn't stop, it was like taking out a knife that had been stabbed in me for too long, spilling what happened like blood. I felt myself getting lighter, she listened to me patiently. When I was done, we stayed in silence for a few minutes.

"We heard about Black's escape this morning, but I didn't imagine that you're the one that did it" she said, in an attempt to make me laugh, I smiled weakly.

"Well, it was right though," I said, she nodded.

"Listen, I know you're mad, and you have the right to be" She started, so calmly I expected to get agitated at her tone, but I didn't, mostly because Sarah never sounds that calm or serious that it bewildered me. "If I was in your place I would've been too, I would've also wanted him dead, you've struggled so much because of it, but being mad about it is not going to help you"

"But he was right there, right there in front of me, and I..." I said desperately, my eyes stinging. She put one arm around my shoulder.

"I know, I know, but there's no way you could've known, it's not your fault"

"You're right it's not my fault, it's—"

"It's not Harry's fault either" she interrupted me, "you weren't in his place, simply letting someone die in front of you? You don't know what that's like, besides, he said he was going to give him to the Dementors, sometimes that's a far worse fate than death"

I looked at her, that was a different side of her, I never actually got to see it, maybe I was underestimating her the same way Harry does with me.

I know she was right, I do, but I just... it's too hard to accept.

"I hate how helpless I'm feeling"

"It's going to be alright, Emma, you're one of the strongest people I know, you're going to be okay," she said sincerely, I didn't believe her, but it warmed me that she thought so, "now how can you hide the fact that Lupin is a werewolf, I can't believe you knew it all along, I just heard it this morning"

"What?! How did you hear it? People know?" I felt my heart pounding in my chest.

"Professor Snape said so during breakfast"

"He what?!" I knew Snape must be mad about last night, but I didn't think he'd go that far. Lupin must be devastated. "I'm sorry, Sarah, I have to go," I said and left quickly for Lupin's office

When I got to Lupin's office, his door was open. He was sitting on his desk, writing a letter while his books were stacking themselves in columns and being arranged into a suitcase. My eyes widened, "what's happening?!" I asked a bit too loudly, Lupin raised his eyes, surprised by my presence.

"Emma, I was going to come find you before I..." He cut himself off, opened his mouth then closed it again.

"Do you know about last night?" He finally asked.

"Given that I'm the one that helped Sirius out, yes, I do. And Harry explained what happened this morning"

"You did what?!" He said, surprised, then shook his head in exasperation, a faint smile on his face "I guess I shouldn't be surprised about anything either of you do anymore" his smile slowly disappeared as he got up and fixed the suitcase with the books in it, then waved his wand so the rest of the stationary stuff started to arrange themselves in it too.

"How are you taking it...the events of last night?" He asked anxiously, not meeting my eyes.

"I'm... still trying to process it"

"You're mad," he said matter-of-factly, meeting my eyes. It was useless to try and hide, I nodded.

"I...I don't know how that happened, it was a huge mistake, not only because of Wormtail's escape, but it was so dangerous for everyone else..."

"No, that's not what I meant I wasn't blaming you!" I said, hastily

"You should, it was almost all my fault," he said bitterly, his face seeming to hold a great amount of guilt. He fixed his suitcase again as the rest of the stuff was packed, I couldn't take it anymore.

"Why are you packing?" I asked anxiously, feeling like I knew the answer but not ready to admit it to myself.

He sighed, "Emma, yesterday, it was dangerous, I'm lucky no one got hurt, but if anyone here ever got hurt because of it, I wouldn't forgive myself, besides, everyone knows about it now, parents are not going to let me keep teaching, the letters are about to start arriving any time now," he said in a resigned voice that made my heart drop.

"So...you're leaving..." I said bitterly, more to myself.

Lupin rested his hand on my shoulder. "I'm leaving Hogwarts, not you," he said firmly. I looked up at him, my brows furrowed. "I'm here for you, Emma, whenever you need me, I need you to understand that" I found myself holding to his words like they were my last hope, I hated how desperate I felt.

"But, Professor..."

"Remus" he corrected

It felt strange but I forced myself to say it, "Remus, I don't even know how to reach you"

"Hedwig will, I don't...I don't really have a constant place of living, but she'll always find me, so if you need me, just send a letter and I'll be there...I promise"

I felt hope spread through my heart at his promise, I should probably stop it, but I couldn't not believe him this time. "Do you promise to always reach out?"

"Are you completely sure you have to leave?" I answered with a desperate question, he nodded firmly, and I sighed. "I promise," I said sincerely. He finally smiled and I was glad to see it. I smiled back.

At this point I heard a knock on the open door, my smile faded into a frown as I looked behind me and I saw Harry standing at the door, he met my eyes for a second then looked away stubbornly.

"I just saw Hagrid and he said you'd resigned. It's not true, is it?" Asked Harry, ignoring my presence.

I rolled my eyes, "Excuse me" I said to Remus with an apologetic smile as I exited the office without another word, letting him explain it to Harry.

My spirits had been down for the whole day after Remus left, but I must admit that I was pleased that a lot of people were also upset about his departure. Not even him being a werewolf could discredit the fact that he was a great teacher. But no one was as devastated as Neville was.

"I don't care if Professor Lupin is a bloody dragon, he shouldn't have to leave because of that!" He said after he overheard me mention it to Ginny. He stayed almost as upset as I was the whole day.

The next day at breakfast my mood got slightly better after the final grades were out and I got a 98.8%. I say almost because I had already forfeited the bet, so it didn't matter what I got, Diaz still won.

As I thought that, I looked up and like clockwork, there he was, smirking at me from the Slytherin table. I clenched my fists and took a calming breath as I got up. He did too, meeting me in the middle of the great hall. Still smirking like an idiot.

"You know what, Potter? I don't think it's fair that you have to lose without getting a chance" he said before I even got a chance to speak.

I raised my eyebrows, confused, why would he give up his victory so easily? No, this is probably some kind of trap. "Seriously?!" I asked.

"Yes, seriously...also, did I mention, I got a perfect score"

My eyes widened as he flashed his report in my face, sure enough, he got a hundred per cent.

Suddenly, my ninety-eight per cent felt like a twenty. I was transfixed for a few seconds, he broke our deal because he knew he'd win anyway, I couldn't believe it. I realized I hadn't said anything and was just staring at him.

He smirked, "speechless now, are you, darling"

I racked my brain for some insult to throw back at him, but when I tried to speak, my voice echoed across the hall. He had already cast the spell on me while I was in shock.

He smiled condescendingly and motioned for me to go ahead.

I swallowed my pride once again, "Matteo Diaz is the smartest wizard in our year" I said, my voice strained as it echoed through the great hall. Which only made him smile even more, I felt like I wanted to punch that smile off his face but I kept myself in check as I lifted the spell of me.

To top off my humiliation, Blair passed by us. "I hate to side with Diaz, but I'm really glad someone put you in your place," she said with a calm smile.

"What did I ever do to you?! Why do you hate me so much?" I asked exasperated.

"You have a hateable face" She shrugged and went her way.

"See, even mudbloods can't stand you" Matteo whispered to me, his eyes on her.

"Why are you whispering? Scared of her?" I asked, smirking.

"Scared of her? I'm not scared of her!" He said, offended, "it's just that...well she's a bit mental" he said in a conspiring voice, getting a bit closer.

"Really? Why do think so?"

"You see, all Slytherins had been calling her names since she got sorted, it seemed to never phase her, she never spared us any attention. But last week, a couple of Slytherins called her a mudblood, and I guess it was one insult too many; she just put a bat-boggy hex on them and locked them in a deserted classroom without their wands for almost a whole day. Only when Greengrass found out about it did she go and let them out"

"You're joking! She must've been in a lot of trouble"

"That's the worst part, no one believed them, professor McGonagall said that they were trying to get her in trouble because she's a muggle-born. Even Snape yelled at them for trying to get her in trouble. Greengrass denied anything happened and she just got away with it" he seemed to be really irritated about it. And even though I think those students deserved what they got, it was still funny to think that the only common thing between Matteo and me was hating the same person.

I sat on the train back to London, watching Conan and Ginny argue, their voices getting louder by the second. I should've warned Conan never to speak ill of the Holyhead Harpies in front of her. But Sarah was somewhere with her astronomy club and it was a fun fight to watch so I don't really regret it.

After about half an hour of back and forth, Ginny left to get some sports magazine from Fred and George to prove a point she had.

"I'm sorry, Emma, but she's really annoying," said Conan after she was gone

"It's okay, I'm enjoying myself, and she is annoying, but I'm annoying too so we understand each other" I said, grinning

"Your words not mine" he said, holding his hands up. "But anyway, how are you doing? I know you're upset about Lupin leaving"

"Well, yes, I got used to him being around, mind you it's not normal for me to have an adult I can trust that much, you know"

He nodded understandingly. I had told him most things about Remus being my godfather and the fidelius charm, I hadn't told him about neither Sirius's innocence or the way he escaped though.

"You'll be alright, besides, you can always send him letters right?"

"Yes, at least there's that"

"Well don't forget me from you're writing either" said Conan, "I'm going to miss you through the summer"

"Of course I'll write to you" I said, looking at the window to hide my slightly flushed face, "I'll miss you too"

The trolly lady saved me from my embarrassment by showing up.

"Anything from the trolly, dears?" And I knew it was time to do what I have been trying to avoid for a couple of days.

"Yes, can I get a chocolate bar?"

I payed for the chocolate and pocketed it.

"Sorry, Conan, I have to go, see you later" I said as I found my way out of the compartment.

I looked through several compartments till I found the one.

I got in as Ron and Hermione we're arguing about their score in exploding snaps. I sat down next to Harry, taking out my chocolate and breaking it in half. This has always been the way we apologize, we never actually said the words, one of us just gets a their hands on a treat somehow and splits it with the other, except I don't remember ever going that far in a fight so I doubted it'll work.

I offered Harry the chocolate, he started at it for a few seconds, then at me. I held my breath for a second, he finally sighed and took the chocolate from my hand. I smiled and nibbed on my half as we watched Ron and Hermione argue.

It's not that I was alright with everything that happened, I knew Pettigrew didn't deserve to live even in Azkaban, I knew Harry still underestimates me in a way. But I also knew that his heart is in the right place, I shouldn't let my angry, envious, misplaced one affect it.

Besides, I needed someone to help me convince the Durselys sign my Hogsmead permission slip now, don't I?