Some nights a person can go to bed while counting their blessings. Some nights that same person goes to bed and can't find a single thing to be thankful for and can find nothing to think of but all of the losses that they have suffered. This night was the latter kind.

Sure, I'd had a lot of good things in my life, but I had also lost all of the good things and tonight was the night to reflect on all of that and hate myself because so much of that loss had at least in part been my fault. My first love, Bill Compton had been sent to me on a mission from the queen of Louisiana. (Bill is a vampire and they have their own hierarchy.) I of course did not know about his ulterior motives for dating me and was too excited to have finally met someone whose thoughts I couldn't hear to question his motives or suspect anything. Now, his betrayal (allowing me to get beaten to within an inch of my life so that he could get his blood into me, taking my virginity under false pretenses, cheating on me with another vampire, nearly draining and raping me when I rescued him from the torture of that vampire…) was not my fault and I don't blame myself for falling for his lies and manipulation. But if I hadn't gotten involved with him, my grandmother would not have been murdered by a man who hated women who associated with vampires when he meant to come after me. That asshole also killed my cat.

My gran had been my substitute parent from the age of seven when my parents died. She was my rock, my confidant, my best friend. I'd recently done some cleaning of the attic and found an old knick knack of hers. It was emerald green and looked similar to a makeup compact, but it didn't open. I'm not sure what its purpose was, but holding it gave me peace and made me feel closer to her, so I held onto it as I went to bed.

My parents had died in a flash flood on the way to pick me and my brother Jason up from a night at Gran's house. That wasn't my fault, but the fact that they had needed to take a night away was because my mother hated me and couldn't stand to be around me because of my quirk. Maybe if I'd been better at hiding what I was, they wouldn't have gone out that night and they wouldn't have died.

There had been a war between different Fae factions and I'd been taken and tortured by two of them. A lot of good people had died that day. Most were not my fault, but the fault of Breandan and his followers, the water fae, when they went after my great grandfather for his throne. But my friend Trey who was also a werewolf and my roommate's boyfriend had died fighting them to keep my safe. My fairy godmother Claudine also died to keep my alive. And she was pregnant, so her unborn baby lost its chance at life just so I could live. That guilt ate at me daily; I couldn't imagine how I could be worth the multiple lives that had been cost to spare mine. Amelia left too; she couldn't stand to look at me anymore because it made her think of Trey.

Possibly the most painful of all, because there was no one to blame except myself, the one that I normally tried my hardest not to think about, was Eric. I'd failed to save his maker Godric, and even if he never blamed me for that, I felt responsible for not trying harder. I had loved Eric so much, but my stupidity and insecurity drove him away. I didn't trust my own feelings because of our bond; I thought he was making me feel things. I know now that a bond cannot create false feelings, but only amplify those that already existed. If only I had taken the time to truly research and understand. Instead, I convinced Amelia to break our bond and in doing so lost the protection I had of belonging to Eric. I was so stubborn and pigheaded that I couldn't comprehend that when he called me his that he didn't mean that I was an object to be owned, but a partner to be cherished and protected. I didn't understand vampire culture or him enough because I didn't want to. Even though I had pushed against my relationship with Eric, publicly disrespected him, and broken our bond, he still loved me. And that love cost us both. When the king of Nevada, Arkansas and Louisiana (there had been an explosion that left the queen of Louisiana and Arkansas vulnerable and De Castro had taken advantage of that and invaded) came for me, intending to enslave me as his personal telepath, Eric had fought for my freedom. If I hadn't broken my bond with Eric, De Castro could have hired me through Eric, but since I was a free agent, he could just take me. Eric was outnumbered…and his long, long life was ended. And there was no kind of mental gymnastics that could ever relieve me of knowing that I was at fault for that. His child Pam had been a friend of mine but understandably she now wanted nothing to do with me. I wouldn't even blame her if she decided to end me. In fact, the way I was feeling on this night, I welcomed it.

I held my grandmother's trinket close to my heart and cried myself to sleep, desperately wishing I could change things, be a better person.

OoOoOoOoOo

I woke the next morning to the smell of eggs and sausage. Who would break into my house and cook breakfast? Amelia was gone, Jason didn't cook, and even if he did, we'd been on the outs for quite awhile. While I pondered this, I looked around my room. I shot up out of bed when I realized where I was. I was in my old bedroom, the one I'd slept in after Jason and I had moved in with Gran. Which didn't make sense since after Gran died I had moved into her room. I heard familiar humming from down in the kitchen and finally had the wherewithal to open my mind to see who was down there and it was…Gran?!

I flew down the stairs to see if she was somehow really there or if my grief was just making me crazy. But there she was, just like she'd been so many times before, her long grey hair piled on her head, wearing a big floral dress with an apron tied around her waist, humming as she cooked sausage, eggs, and biscuits. I reached my mind out to hers again, just to be sure it wasn't some kind of imposter, but it was her mental signature.

She turned around and smiled at me. "Mornin' honey. You hungry?"

I threw my arms around her and started sobbing. She returned my hug and waited for me to talk, the way she had so many times before. When I finally pulled away so I could take in her appearance again, she stroked my arm.

"Sakes alive child, what's happened?"

I couldn't even begin to explain because I didn't understand myself.

"You'll think I'm crazy. I think I'm crazy."

She shook her head, "Nonsense. Just tell me."

"I think…I think I travelled back in time."

"What on earth makes you think that?"

"What day is today?"

She pointed to the calendar where all the previous days had been crossed off, meaning today was June third, of 2008.

"I went to bed last night in a different room than I woke up. The date of that night was November eleventh of 2009."

"Is that what has you in such a fit?" She was remarkably calm, but I was sure she was just trying to keep me from freaking out. She led me to the table and we both sat down.

I shook my head. "When I went to bed last night I was broken hearted because among many other things, you'd been dead for over a year." My eyes filled with tears again.

"My goodness. Heart attack? Doc Andrews keeps telling me to cut back on the heavy food."

"Why are you so calm about all this? And no, someone killed you who meant to kill me."

"Why on earth would someone want to kill you?"

"Because he hated vampires and was killing women who associated with them."

Her hand went to her heart. "But we don't even have any vampires in Bon Temps. I know we've both been hoping to meet one since that Great Revelation, but our tiny town probably isn't much of a draw."

I was staring at her, open mouthed. "So you don't know who Bill Compton is?"

She shook her head.

"Are Maudette and Dawn still alive?"

"Maudette died yesterday, honey. Dawn Green?" when I nodded, she continued. "I haven't heard anything to make me think anything's happened to her. You talked about her last night after work."

"There could still be time…" I wondered aloud. Could it be that I was really being given the chance to fix my mistakes?

The weight of something in my pajama pants pocket drew my attention. I reached in my pocket and pulled out the trinket I'd fallen asleep with. When Gran saw it, her eyes grew wide.

"Where did you find that?"

"In the attic. You know what it is?"

"It was a gift to me from…" her voice trailed off because she didn't know how to explain.

"Fintan?" I asked.

"How do you know that name?" She didn't sound angry, just completely confused.

"He's my real grandfather. Grandaddy Mitchell couldn't have babies and you really wanted them. Fintan saw you out hanging laundry one day and fell in love with you. He promised you babies and grandbabies and Grandaddy agreed because he knew how much you wanted more family."

She stared at me completely in shock.

"I met Niall, Fintan's father. He told me. So…this was a gift from him? Is it just sentimental or does it do something?"

Her mouth finally closed, and she spoke, just barely above a whisper. "It's a cluviel dor. A gift of love from a fairy. They are extremely rare and are made with the love of that fairy. It contains powerful magic to grant the recipient one wish."

"I'm sorry Gran…I think I accidentally used up your wish last night."

She surprised me by laughing. "Well, that sure would explain things wouldn't it?"

"Why didn't you ever use it though? What if you could have brought back Daddy or Aunt Linda?"

She shook her head. "I was so busy raising you kids that I forgot I even had it. I'm not sure I ever even believed it could do what he said. I hid it away in the attic because I didn't want to rub my relationship with Fintan in Mitchell's face, even though he was ok with us being together for the sake of making children. I saw Fitnan many times though, he stopped by to check on his family whenever he was able to, and Lord help me but I loved him too. I know it's wrong, but I loved two men."

I held her hand on the table, just in awe that I was really getting a chance to start over. After a moment, she stood up and went back to the stove to dish up the food she'd prepared. She brought the plates over and sat with me, encouraging me to eat something.

"Tell me about what happened in your other timeline."

"First of all, I just have to say how blessed I am that you have such an open and curious mind. Anybody else would have me locked away."

"With what I've been through and raising a telepathic granddaughter, I've had to be open to the possibility that there's a lot more possible than what the world wants us to believe. Goodness, it turns out vampires aren't just a scary creature from stories."

She must have caught the glint in my eye, because she got an eager look on her face. "What else is there?"

I smiled. "Well, shifters are real. Like werewolves and stuff. Some people shift into different animals. Others, like Sam believe it or not, can turn into any animal they want."

"Well, that sure is something."

I told her about how Rene was the one killing girls and that she needed to stay away from him just to be safe. I told her about how Bill had tricked me and betrayed me. I told her about all the people I'd met and the crazy adventures I had been on. She was very excited when I told her about Bubba. She said she really hoped I'd be able to fix things with Eric and Pam because she wanted to meet them and could tell how much they had meant to me. She also hoped that Claudine would make an appearance again because she always wanted a chance to meet more family.

She reminded me that I needed to get ready for work and I needed to figure out what to do if Bill showed up again in this timeline. It seemed like everything else that had happened to me before was identical in this timeline so far, so I assumed he would. When I left for work I made her promise to close and lock the doors and stay inside. I had just gotten her back and wasn't taking the chance of losing her again.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Work was weird. For the most part things were just like any other day had been the past year and a half. Except Dawn was there, prancing around in her tiny shorts and flirting for better tips. And the Rattrays were in my section. I almost threw up when I remembered the last time I had seen them- how they'd kicked me and beaten me until I was coughing up blood and my back was broken and I was on the very edge of death.

Somehow I managed to paste on my "Crazy Sookie" smile and go about my shift as though this were just a normal day. I was at the bar getting a pitcher of beer to deliver to a group of college students when I felt an unpleasant tingle go up my spine. There were hushed whispers around the bar and against my better judgment, I turned around to see for myself who had walked in. Bill fucking Compton.

I took a deep breath and pointedly ignored him. Sam smiled at me.

"Looks like Bon Temps just got its first vamp," he said. "He's headed toward your section. You good getting him?"

I clenched my jaw and nodded. Bill was sitting in a booth, taking in his surroundings, acting very casual. When he saw me heading over, he smoldered at me. Gross.

"Hey, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but we don't have any of that synthetic blood- we've never had a vampire customer before."

"You knew what I was before you even talked to me?" He asked.

"My boss Sam told me." I would have known anyway, I had actually been the one to point it out the first time Bill and I had met. Vampires have a bit of a glow around them. But he didn't need to know that because that would tell him that I wasn't just an ordinary human and I had no intentions of falling for his tricks again or giving him anything to take back to Sophie Anne.

"Well then, I guess I'll just have a glass of red wine, so I have a reason to be here."

"Comin' right up." I turned to walk away to get his order and he grabbed my arm. I spun around and glared at him. "Let go of me."

He managed to look abashed and dropped his hand back to the table. "I apologize. I only wanted to know your name. I am new in town and do not know anyone. My name is Bill."

"Howdeedo Bill. I'm Sookie. If you'll excuse me, I have tables to see to."

On the way to get his wine, I stopped and checked on my other tables. I was still racking my brain trying to figure out what to do when I delivered his drink and had come up with nothing. When I put his glass down in front of him, he looked deep into my eyes.

"Sit with me a moment." He said.

"Sorry, no can do. Got customers waiting for orders."

He pushed his influence at me harder. "You can let them go for a moment and visit with me."

"No. I am working, please leave me alone unless you need something from the bar. And since there's nothing on the menu that you can eat, I don't think you'll be needing to speak to me again."

His eyes darkened and his nostrils flared. Somebody wasn't used to not getting his way. I turned and walked away, ignoring him for my other tables.

While I was dropping off chicken strips and fries to Hoyt, I noticed that the Rats had joined Bill at his table. Denise was flirting with him, running her fingers along her neck and I could see him looking at her hungrily. It was like a light bulb had gone on in my head. They were going to lure him out to the parking lot to drain him if things continued following the same pattern as before. I was under no obligation to act on that information. I was busy filling and dropping off orders. Surely no one would expect me to know what was happening outside.

Sure enough, a few minutes later, Bill dropped a few bills onto the table and walked out the door with Mack and Denise. I smiled to myself- this would be the first thing I could do to right things. And all I had to do was…do nothing.

At the end of my shift, I walked out to the area where I'd found Bill the first time. Mack and Denise were long gone and he was completely drained. He wasn't quite dead yet, but the sun would take care of that in the morning. I went to my car and drove home, feeling nothing but relief. But when I walked through the door and saw Gran waiting for me, I started to wonder if I had really done the right thing.

Gran looked up from her book. "What's troubling you dear?" she asked.

"You remember that vampire I told you about this morning?"

"Eric?"

"No, Bill."

She wrinkled her nose in distaste. "Oh yes, that one."

"He came into the bar tonight. He went out to the parking lot with the Rats…and I knew they were going to drain him because they did before…and I let it happen." I hated the thought that she would be disappointed in me.

"Well, that was an enterprising way to deal with that problem," she said with a smile.

I felt my eyebrows shoot up to my hairline. "You're not mad at me for not helping him when I knew he was going to die if I didn't step in?"

"Baby girl, after what you told me this morning, your lack of action was purely self defense. How could I be upset about you defending yourself?"

I hugged her tightly and told her how much I loved her and felt tears sliding down my cheeks. She tucked in for the night, but I was afraid to go to sleep. What if I woke in the morning and this had all been a dream? Eventually I couldn't fight how tired I was after how emotionally overwhelming the day had been on top of a full shift on my feet and I had to go to bed.

When I woke up, I was still in my childhood room and Gran was puttering around the kitchen. I was so happy I almost cried, but I couldn't keep starting and ending my days with tears. I showered and dressed and headed downstairs. I kissed Gran on the cheek and said I had to run an errand and asked if she needed anything while I was out. She asked me to pick up a few household staples like milk and eggs and I was more than happy to oblige.

My "errand" was stopping off at Merlotte's. I used the reasoning that I needed to check my schedule, but was really there to check the area where I'd found Bill. I had to make sure that he was actually gone and that someone hadn't found his body and called for help. If he'd found out that I saw him and didn't help him, I could be in for even worse trouble from him if he recovered.

Among the trees were the silver chains that the Rats had wrapped him in and what a first glance appeared to be piles of dirt, but I realized were in fact Bill's ashen remains. I breathed a sigh of relief, then felt a bit guilty. Maybe I wasn't doing such a great job at trying to be a better person with my second chance. I shook myself. No, I hadn't killed him and allowing him to be eliminated gave me a better chance of saving Gran as well as myself from a great deal of pain, both physical and emotional. I took my digital camera out of my purse and took a few pictures and then drove off.

I went to Walmart to pick up groceries and a few household things. Gran had only asked me to pick up the essentials, but I figured I would get everything we'd need to at least several days. That way she wouldn't feel the need to go out while I set up a plan to take care of the Rene threat.

I helped Gran clean the house and do laundry and then laid out in the sun for a bit. Things that had once seemed mundane and ordinary, I was so happy to do now. Gran came out to take down the sheets that were hanging on the line and asked what my plans were for my day off. She knew there was no way I was just going to stay home and read or watch TV.

"I'm going to head to Fangtasia tonight."

She smiled at me. "You're going to try and meet up with your young man again?"

I laughed. "Considering he's more than ten times your age I'm not sure I'd call him a young man, even if he does look like one. But yes. Even if he doesn't want to be with me romantically this time, I need to at least warn him about Godric and see if he can do something about Rene. I can't exactly just call up Bud Dearborn and tell him who it is and how I know."

She looked thoughtful. "Oh yes, that's true. I hadn't even thought about how that would be solved."

When the sun started to go down, I went up to my room to get ready. I knew that I wanted to get Eric's attention right away, and what better way to do that than to wear the white dress with the red flowers on it? When I'd worn it before, I was just trying to look nice. This time, I knew I would stand out "like a candle in a coal mine." I curled the ends of my hair and pulled half of it up and put in some little red ball earrings. I don't usually do much more for makeup than some mascara and lip gloss, but I put on a little bit extra this time.

Gran was sitting in her arm chair with a book when I went down to leave. She told me that I looked lovely and that he'd be a fool to not want to get to know me. She was the one person who had always made me feel confident, whether it was about how I looked or my ability to do something. She believed me when I told her things, even when my own parents didn't. She barely more than blinked even about the strange situation I'd just found myself in. I could not believe how lucky I was to get a second chance with her.

I told her not to wait up for me (even though I was pretty sure she would) and headed out the door. I was so anxious the whole way there that I was practically vibrating. If nothing else happened tonight, if he didn't want me I could handle that. Just seeing him there and healthy would be enough.

I waited in line outside Fangtasia with the other customers. There were a lot of rude comments and thoughts about my appearance but I did not care. When I got to the front of the line I had to bite the inside of my cheek to prevent myself from talking to Pam as though she knew me. I had to give her my ID and she stared at it thoughtfully before handing it back and letting me in.

I walked in and there he was, in all his glory. On the stage at the back of the bar, on his throne, looking bored as he texted on his phone. I just stood there and watched him for a moment until I knew I wasn't going to cry. When he looked up and his eyes locked on me, I felt a huge, genuine smile fill my face and I started walking toward him. It took all my strength not to just run and throw myself at him.

Author's Note: Sorry if the dates stated near the beginning are totally off. I couldn't remember what the timeline was for the books or the shows, I just knew it was warm weather at the beginning of both, so I just came up with something.