The Touch of Self
A dull thump echoes in a once lively restaurant of Mendoza's, each thump sounding off with frustration and anger. A much older man follows, an expression of sadness hangs on his wrinkled face.
"Jason! Wait!"
"I need to do this!" Jason wrestled his father's grasp off of his long sleeve, leather shirt.
"I'm heading out with Ricardo, just wait here, please." He says much more softly.
"You boys are going to be the death of me! Do not do this!" He practically pleads, hobbling over as fast as he could, pain in his face.
"And what, have this place go under? Not pay for your treatment? Hell no!" Jason reasons, brushing him off.
"We gotta keep going, dad, ever since that day it's been downhill! I can't sit around and do nothing!"
"Well doing something is going to get you killed!" Jason reared his angry face at his father.
"So?"
"And leave me alone? The result is the same!" Jorge bellowed out, making Jason freeze up.
"Sure you keep being a dastardly criminal, but then your day comes, what then? Yes, I may die sooner than later, but do you honestly think I want to lose someone else? The both of you? I should've talked to Ricardo when I had the chance, a plain fool I was, thinking that my brother would've been set straight after prison…" Jorge looks deep into Jason's eyes, full of contempt and utter sadness.
"I thought you cared much more, hijo…"
"I…" Jason bit his lip, trying to stifle the tsunami of emotion that lurked beneath his tough facade.
"I thought you knew what you would do to everyone around you when you do this, to me, to Ricardo… To Julia." Jason's breath starts to pick up.
"Like I said, I will be damned if I lose any of you, so please, let's do this together…" Jorge sticks his hand out, an attempt to reach his son.
Jason looks at his hand, swallowing the spit that accumulated in his mouth, before solemnly looking away.
"We tried that, and nothing worked. You're getting sicker and sicker, and we're getting poorer and poorer. Just sit back and wait… you've already done enough." He affirmed more to himself than anything.
"You will die! All of you will die!" He pleaded, trying to reach out, but almost toppling over himself. Jason looked at his emaciated shell of a father, having been recently diagnosed with Liver Cancer, the man has lost weight and has been vomiting. This can not go on. It's still early, so if he and Ricardo can go a little faster…
"Worry about yourself, we will get the money, no problem, just wait." He says as he begins to walk out.
"Jason!"
It has to be done.
"Jason!"
Not again, he thought.
"JASON!!!"
Sit tight, and watch me work, he thought.
Whatever it takes, he thought. Delivering drugs, beating up targeted people, smuggling, anything to get that money.
Even if he had to kill someone.
~~~~~
[Jason POV]
I am sleeping.
I am, right?
This can explain the pure black I am seeing right now, probably a dream.
Smoke fills my nostrils, my surroundings light up in a vibrant, flickering orange as the crackle of flames rises. I am holding something in my hand, what is it? I can feel hair, like it is someone's head…
I don't want to look down.
I didn't have a choice.
My mother. Mi madre. Her face, half of it blown off stares right back at me. Melted flesh, bone, and the stench of burning hair and flesh. My mouth felt dry and hot like the flames that surrounded us. This happened to her. I have seen this. This is a memory. This is a memory. This is a memory. This is a memory. This is a memory. This is a memory! Nothing but a memory!
"Jason…"
Stop.
"Jason…"
Stop.
"Jason, why did you leave your father?"
The condition! He was dying! You have to understand Mama!
"Jason, why did you kill those people?"
They… they were despicable, right down to the core! Horrible people who did horrible things to others!
"My boy… is a murderer!"
Mama! Please! Wait! I can't… I couldn't… I…
Her face shifted, being pulled and twisted as the environment faded to black. I felt like I was tossed to the side as I was sent flying. I feel different, looking down towards my body I find that I am younger, at least ten years.
I don't want to remember.
Gunshots and screams echo out into the night as groups of men and women raid the streets, all of them dressed in black and dark purple, with the icon of a coffin on each of them.
The ground melted, everything felt hot, so hot! Someone must've poured lava on me, it was so hot! I'm melting, it was so hot! Burning iron and shrapnel pierced my skin as the groups opened fire. We were caught off guard, so many died! My skin felt like magma, and my blood piping hot, melted iron.
The place changed again, shifting into a void of black.
"You, have proven to be a nuisance to my plans… You have to die, my apologies."
His voice. I hated his voice! So much, how dare you sound so calm while ruining and snuffing out so many lives!
Someone materialized in pure black, wisps of shadow surrounded him as he tried to jump me.
I immediately grappled with the man, his face being revealed to me as I looked closer, pure black eyes, a dark smile full of malice as he pushed against my body. In a struggle, I grab the man's neck, making him begin to gasp for air.
I won't die.
I won't lose.
You people will pay!
"Jason!"
No!
"JASON IT'S ME!!!"
What?
And then I am not there. My body was tingling with sweat, blankets under my feet seemingly following from my bed. Bed… I was in bed. It was morning, judging by the bright light in the room.
I slowly looked at where my hands were, noticing they were wrapped up by a gray wrap, tied together. I look at what's in my hands…
Aizawa.
He was breathing heavily, his face twisted in horror and worry as he looked at me with his sharp red eyes, his hair floating in mid-air.
"Jason, can you hear me?" He said.
"...Yes." He breathed a sigh of relief as I stumbled back away from him, sitting on the bed with a thump.
A nightmare.
I haven't had one in a while.
"Aizawa… I'm-"
"Don't start. It was out of your control." He tried to reassure me, though it didn't work.
"Damn it!" I yelled, I was furious. Am I really letting the things of the past get in the way right now? Am I that weak?
"Jason, talk to me." He sternly said.
"I… It was a nightmare of, you know, things..." I reply, keeping it vague on purpose.
"I can tell when you started yelling in here…" He said, massaging his throat, making me that much more guilty.
"Fuck…" I dropped my face into my hands. I can't believe this.
"Jason," He walked next to me, and sat down.
"Go to work, Aizawa."
"No. What we're going to do is talk about it." of course he would, bastard.
"Hell no."
"Knowing you, you'd do something stupid, and I can't have that in my house. You honestly think me, a teacher and hero, would abandon someone in need?" He said, the smallest of smirks. I appreciated the roughness of his dialect, something I am familiar with. I don't need any condescending shit. I must be rubbing off on him.
"..." He still stared at me with those… dark eyes! It's creeping me out!
"Sure." And so, I told him the gist of what I saw. I also told him about my mother, I could trust him. I take some time to drink in the horrified look on his face, heh.
"Jason… You need help."
"Too late for that, I kinda think." I say. I thought about it before, but it's not like I'll have time too. Besides, this is probably just a one time thing! We stay in silence for a little while, before he looks at me again.
"You sure are a complicated guy, aren't you?"
"..."
"Do you always have these dreams?" He asks.
"Not really, only every once in a while." I mumble out, my heart rate finally settling down.
"I can understand." He simply says, and I believe him. Being an underground hero probably has him see some rather crazy shit, and knowing Aizawa, he's probably in the thick of it most of the time.
"If you ever need to talk, I'm here, and please consider getting some help." He says.
"I'll try." He gives me another look, before seemingly remembering something, he looks at me again, with a small smirk this time.
"Nezu called before you started freaking out, he wants to talk."
"Did you tell him to buzz off?"
"I'd rather not tell that to my employer."
"Bitch."
"He said it was important, so get dressed, we're heading over there together." I don't want to go to that stupid place…
"I think I'll pass."
"Not much of a choice, Jason."
"Can't you say, I dunno, 'Jason experienced a super freaky psychological breakdown in his dreams' or some shit like that?"
"You honestly think that'll work? And besides, it'll take your mind off all of… that." He pointed it out to me. I think I could use a distraction…
This better be good.
~~~~~
It was not good.
"You want me to do what?"
Out of all the things I expected, this one? Really?
"Nezu, you're out of your goddamn mind!"
"I think my mind is in the right place!"
I looked down on the papers that were handed to me. He can't be serious! I thought he was just joking all those times!
"Jason, I'm sure you know I have been thinking of this for quite some time. Someone with experience like you can really improve our ways of education."
"I am against heroes. You know this."
"Yet you have the chance to change them for the better, to be true heroes, to be a guide of what and what not to do. I am giving you this chance, this power to invoke change."
This guy… has a way with words, I swear.
"But still, me? Really? Nezu I am not exactly made for that, with shit I've done in the past and the shit I do now, no way."
"How about you think about it, hm? Give it some time." He says with a smile. Already, this day has been crazy. He is crazy, truly, to just give this to me all willy-nilly.
The thing is, Nezu is the smartest person I know, so he must have something… Ah, I don't know.
"Yeah, whatever, just prepare to be disappointed."
He waved me out, a knowing gleam in his eyes. I hate this guy so fucking much!
I closed the door behind me, I feel that I've been coming to this school way too much. Hell, even that visitor pass still works!
I wonder how Kirishima and Mina are doing…
Do they… Do they even want to see me still? After the things I did?
That thought kind of hurt, but I did this to myself, I suppose. I am a murderer, I have killed people regardless of who they are.
Someone like me shouldn't be around the hopes of the future. The hell was I thinking? The hell is Nezu thinking?
I should just decline, say no. Let's be real here, I did things I ain't exactly proud of. Did I have the right idea? Maybe. I just couldn't help it, being young and dumb was also a factor I suppose.
I'm kind of glad I was locked down the past few years, helped me think on some things and realize some shit. Do I regret what I did, however?
Not even a little bit.
Should I have done it? Probably not.
Yet, here I am, walking around in a school of future heroes. Students full of potential and vigor to do good, are probably better than the other pieces of shit out there. Where do I fit into all of it? Well, naturally, I had to help with this League of Villains stuff, but what about after?
I can go back to making pizza again, I think. Yeah… That sounds pretty nice to be doing that again.
I gotta get out of here, this place sucks.
~~~~~
[3rd Person POV]
Nezu looked at the door with a blank expression, some seeds of doubt planted into his head, before being quickly dashed away.
Jason didn't understand his own value and place in society, he concluded. He was someone who made pizza of course, but now? It seems as if he is being strewn about in his life. Desiring to have a calm life, while desiring the thrill of battle, while also desiring to keep being a restaurant owner. Was it confusion? A lack of direction?
Of course he would say 'Become a hero!' but clearly something happened to where his trust in heroism was practically broken entirely, and it didn't help that a good margin proved his point…
He remembers after the New York Incident, Jason was caught just four years later, somehow surviving without a leg. The crude prosthetic most likely done by an underground doctor, most likely.
The reports said that he turned himself in willingly.
That gave him a shock, when he first heard about this. The man gave himself up without much of a fight, or anything really.
The man did not say a single word throughout the entire process.
Once Nezu caught wind of this, he knew he had to act. A few phone calls, a few conversations, a few… persuasion techniques, and all the sudden he was being shipped to Japan, under the guise of Jason's actions ultimately being beneficial for the United States and for his own safety then anything, which was true.
He had faith, however, which was very uncommon for someone like himself. The first time he looked at Jason, was when he felt that same feeling as a principal.
The urge to guide. The urge to help.
It was in his nature, he supposed. Jason had the potential to be special.
He just hoped that he could see it too.
~~~~~
The sun stood upright in the sky, uncovered by the clouds as the hustle of the cities below bustled. One woman stood above the others, her feet perched on the corner of a tall building as her stark white hair flowed with the wind. She was thinking to herself, not exactly uncommon in her life. The cameras catch one side of herself, her fierce and aggressive beauty and power, her bravado and confidence oozing out of her each time she takes care of a villain.
Then there was that other side, exclusive to her. A side that would have thrown anyone for a loop, if anyone were to know of it.
The people of this society have expectations. They expect heroes to be heroes, act as heroes, and no inbetween. Of course, said heroes tend to play it up, showing the civilians their masks, while the more valuable face lies beneath. They were human. Every single one of them were. All with emotions, thoughts, feelings, desires, wants, needs, troubles, problems, challenges, and families.
Rumi Usagiyama wasn't immune to this, either, much to her dismay.
She didn't exactly have problems, per se. Well, according to her she had one. One annoying, ignorant, snake-tongued bastard, for sure.
Always in her head, like an eyelash stuck in her eye, refusing to get out. How annoying.
She huffed, looking down to see-
Shit.
It was him. Walking along the sidewalks, dressed in casual attire as he lumbered off to wherever. She was going to let him pass by, she didn't need a distraction, right (despite her literally approaching him multiple times)?
She sighed, preparing to take off and-
"Well, aren't you a creep?"
What!?
She swiftly turned around to see the same man she was holding such animosity towards.
First of all, how the hell did he get here so fast?
"I'm still kind of quick on my feet if you were wondering." He said, leaning against the roof barrier.
"Why are you here!?"
"Not happy to see me? Didn't seem like it when you were watching me this whole time. I have good intuition if you didn't know." He said with a smile, drinking in Rumi's exasperated face. She was caught, she thought, as a small blush worked its way up to her face.
"Tch, not at all…" She mumbled. He got closer, standing inches away from where she was perched. For some reason, she didn't have a problem with this.
The two sat in silence, with Usagiyama giving glances at the man beside her. The wind blew his hair away from his face, revealing the scars that adorned his sharp jawline. His brown eyes looked off into the distance, his lips pursed, as if he was thinking.
She shivered. This was not the time to be doing this.
"Is it fun?"
"Excuse me?"
"Is it fun being a hero?"
Well, yeah, she thought. If she has been doing this for so long, she must have some enjoyment, right?
"Hell yeah! Kicking ass all day every day is the best!"
"Is that all there is to it for you?"
This threw her for a bit of a loop. Where was this coming from? Usually, Jason was a little more upbeat than this, so what's the deal? He seems… contemplative.
"Well, not really…" She said, slightly confused.
"... I guess so." He said. She had a feeling he wanted more to that answer, so she decided to oblige.
"Well, I kinda like kicking ass and shit, and saving people is cool too… because, you know, beating villain's asses and shit." She answered amazingly in typical Mirko fashion.
"Heh…"
Jason began to laugh, much to her immediate disapproval.
"Eh? Don't laugh at me, prick!" She jumped down to the roof, squaring up with him.
"I was right, you ain't half bad…" He says as he continues to laugh. Mirko huffed at him, before turning around.
"If you ain't got anything else to say, then I am gone!"
"Give me your hand."
Huh?
Rumi immediately froze up, her ears sticking straight up as she slowly turned her head in utter bafflement. What did he just say? She dared to look into his eyes and immediately melted. His eyes, usually fiery and strong, have become more soft, and warm. It was confusing, to see this from a man like him.
'Stop looking at me like that…' She could feel her heart rate shoot through the roof, as she looked at the hands that were outstretched. She felt like she was being lured, like a fish to a hook. His seemingly welcome actions and his soft eyes and face acted as a potent lure for her heart.
She takes off her glove, before giving her hand.
"Don't waste my time…"
Usagiyama was a woman of strength and individual power, not one person has been able to snuff out the might that was her.
All of that melted away when he touched her hand. His fingers were rough and calloused, the storytellers of countless battles and fights, won or lost. The scars that adorned his palms were nicely healed but marred his hands. She didn't mind any of it, however, welcoming another fierce individual's hands into her own.
"You know, you can tell a lot from a person's hands." He said, tracing his thumbs over her own palms.
"Something my mother told me, you can find out many things just by looking and feeling. A worker's hands would be rough and calloused, a doctor's hands would be steady and perfect, a cook's hands would be thick and burnt, a warrior's hands would be scarred and torn, you know?"
"Get on with it…" She said half-heartedly.
"Yours tell me that you are a fighter, a woman of pure, unfaltering might. Yet…"
"What?"
"A tone of softness, a touch of grace and beauty," He looks into her eyes, only inches from each other.
Rumi felt like she had her hands held for hours, when in reality it was only barely a minute.
"Would you like to do mine?" He asked softly. Her eyes widened slightly as he opened up his hand. The breeze blew their hair along with it, the bright sun showed that Jason's eyes were in fact a deep brown, a light shimmering within the sun's rays. She looked down at his hands.
An opportunity said a voice in the back of her mind.
Why was she entertaining this stupid game, she thought. Useless and stupid! She was used to people trying to hit on her all her life, using various tactics that proved very unsuccessful.
But…
She took his hand into hers.
She looked closely at the scars that aligned his fingers and palms, now realizing that she had taken off her other glove. Without her noticing! What is with her!?
She felt along his hands, feeling the roughness of the calluses that adorned the palms. They were rough and worn in, the tough skin having a texture of wood, in her opinion. She traced her fingers over his fingers, feeling against the scarring and noting the small lumps within them. They were probably broken or fractured at some point.
But they held a slight feeling of… care? A certain feeling of softness and lonesomeness? She wasn't exactly sure how she was getting all of this, but this is what she felt.
"What do you think?" He asked.
"You… You are strong."
"You think?"
"Shut up."
She felt the top of his hand, seeing the gash that was previously there. It was obvious, the amount of wounds he had taken over his time, yet, he remained victorious.
He is here, after all.
'What… am I doing!?' She hastily let go as her face erupted in red.
"Did you learn something about me?" He asked the bright red bunny. She tried to stifle her emotion before she replied.
"Y-yeah, how lame you are!" Jason smirked at this, coming closer.
"Am I lame to you? Do you think so?" Her breath hitched, her heart jumping into maximum overdrive. Just an inch apart… She could just… She could, right now…
She could claim him right now.
"You really wear your emotions on your sleeve, Usagiyama." He said in a low voice.
Damn it, she thought as she immediately jumped back.
"I-I dunno what you are talking about! I'm leaving! Bye! Loser!" Before launching herself away from the place in haste. Jason looked at the spot she was just at, before looking at the hands of his own.
"Do I still got it?" He asks himself with a small smile and a laugh. It came out of nowhere, really. Not exactly with the intent to flirt.
He wanted to get to know her some more. Now that he thought about it, it was kind of weird, as he reserved this practice for those he was close to because it was odd to ask for a stranger's hand, right?
Her hand felt soft, yet tough, as evidenced by the noticeable callouses she had.
He breathed a small sigh of relief. Even he wasn't immune to her natural charm.
"Usagiyama…" He smiled a small, honest smile.
~~~~~
Later on that night…
Jason sat on top of a criminal, humming a small tune as the previous chaos died down.
"Really, stealing from a baby? Not cool."
The victim rushed up to the beaten criminal and his savior. A talking baby in a little suit. How original.
"T-thank you! This bastard tried to come off with my stock reports!" The little guy said, pouting.
"Uh… no problem kid?"
"Kid? Are you assuming? How dare you!" Jason immediately put his hands up.
"Whoa whoa! I, uh, I was just thinking because of your… appearance?"
"Oh, so we're judging off appearances now, huh?" The (man) baby crossed its arms, suckling on the ring pop it had in its hands.
"Uh… Look! Spunch bop pops!"
"Where!?" Realizing he got got, he turns to see Jason nowhere near.
"Prick."
Jason hoisted himself up a building, coming up on a rooftop with his Kusarigama. He looks around, noticing the unknown territory he is in. He surmises, based on the landmarks in the distance and their directions, that he is probably in Hosu. He must've strayed a little far, he thinks.
"Well shit, I might as well head-"
His hair rises on its skin.
His eyes widen.
His heart rate quickens.
His muscles begin to twitch as his brain goes into overdrive.
He can hear the noise, feel it.
"...!"
He immediately ducks under the blow fast, rolling over on the roof as he looks at the assailant.
A Nomu. The League has made its move. He hears the chaos down below as several more sprout up. Shit…
The Nomu in front of him had four arms and jagged teeth coming out of the exposed brain it had. He huffs, bringing out his weapon, and begins to swing it, cutting through the win as he stares down his opponent.
"Well shit, ain't this my lucky day!"
~~~~~
"Hmm…" One man, next to another shrouded in dark purple shadow scratched his neck. They watched the chaos unfold around them in the safety of the rooftops above, all the Nomu facing off against the heroes nearby.
"Is something the matter, Shigaraki?" The cloud spoke.
"That guy… I don't like him." He scratched harder.
"He should be fighting alongside us, not with these bastards. Acting like he is one of them when he is not… Faker…" He mumbled.
"... You're calm."
"Master warned me day and night. If someone like him can worry Master this much, then he's probably right. If I do it right, he is just another potential member, waiting for me to recruit him into my party." He says hoarsely.
"Indeed. Shall we proceed with the capturing?"
"Nah, he would see it coming with his quirk already active, and besides…" The young man turned his bloodshot eyes towards Jason's location. He slowly points his dry finger at the spot.
"He ain't even there."
And lo and behold, he wasn't, the corpse of the Nomu lying on the roof.
"One or two more pawns, Kurogiri."
"Understood."
~~~~~
It wasn't supposed to go like this.
The blood pooled under his body.
His white suit, modeled after his prestigious brother, Ingenium, was stained a dark crimson. Tenya Iida was usually a boy of righteousness and a devout follower of heroism. Even someone like that, however, wasn't immune to the alluring taste of revenge.
The worst part is he caused the injuries of another classmate. Another friend. The green-haired boy lay limp as well, unable to move as if an invisible force was holding him down. He could hear the sounds of chaos around them as well, an attack? He thought so, but he wasn't focused on that in the slightest.
What can he even say, when facing the doors of death?
The culprit stood above them, licking the blood off his blade. Another hero also lay against the wall, slowly bleeding out.
This was the Hero Killer, Stain, known for the numerous murders of heroes around the Hosu district.
"But you… are worth keeping alive…" Stain said to the other boy, as he slowly marched towards Iida. He failed. He failed himself, his brother, and his classmate, his friend.
'NO!' He screamed in his head, and just before...
Clang!
A resounding echo of metal hit the blade, knocking it out of the man's hand. Utterly perplexed, the killer immediately backed up, picking up his blade.
"Killing children? Yeah, you're sick." A voice said in the darkness. The two boy's eyes widened at the voice, with the freckled boy noting its familiarity.
It wasn't until the man stepped into the scene that he was known.
El Profeta, AKA, Jason Mendoza. Known for his violence and utter brutality.
Iida immediately almost passed out there. Out of all people, him? To Iida, someone like Jason was deplorable, anyone would think so of a murderer! It didn't hold up now when he tried to pursue Stain himself, however.
Midoryia Izuku had a million thoughts running through his head. What was his favorite restaurant owner turned into one of the most feared. A man of pure malice and raw, uncaring brutality now stood in the place of the encouraging and thoughtful pizza man. It was surreal, seeing him in the flesh. It explained how he got those scars, he idly thought.
"Stain, right?"
"Jason Mendoza, I see you've come to me, this makes it easier!" He bellows out, drawing his blades.
"M-Mr. Mendoza! Watch-" Izuku yelled out, still holding onto Jason's previous image as a civilian. In response, he only smiles and puts a finger on his mouth.
"Hush, child. You are about to see a man,"
He immediately draws his Kusarigama, his blade and weight whipping and lashing around him as he twirled it, a big grin on his face.
"Go to work!"
Stain glared hard, his ominous menace oozing out of him, washing over all the individuals in the building. If Izuku and Iida weren't frozen by Stain's quirk, they wouldn't be able to move due to the sheer aura these two exuded..
"You are a fake! A wolf hiding in a flock of sheep, a pretender! You sully the name of All Might!"
"You think I care about what you have to say? Run it up, you noseless fuck." Jason replied with equal malice.
The Hero Killer and the Prophet faced each other, their weapons drawn, and ready to strike like coiled cobras.
"You will die here, Jason Mendoza!"
"Yeah, yeah, get active!"
The strike of metal and the light of sparks illuminate the alleyway.
The fight was on.
~~~~~
And that is a wrap! Thank you guys for reading! Sorry for the delay, I didn't mean for updates to be so slow. Shit, they're almost a month apart at this point. I cooked up a long one for you guys, going over several things and the such.
Jason cannot just "get away" from what he has seen/done/heard in the past, gotta make it hard for him, you know? Makes him seem human, a person who tries to bear with it to maintain himself, but he is slipping. That's why I got someone like Aizawa around him, a person who can ground him in reality.
What did Nezu want? It's kind of obvious, in my opinion. However, would Jason even agree? Who the hell knows.
Now then. Mirko and The Prophet. The scene was a little hard to do, in my opinion, trying to make it seem natural while keeping them in character. I want the relationship to feel more natural while growing it. There will be a time when they will be together, alone, and finally sort these feelings out. Jason, being the absolute casanova he is, would make it a little easier. He meet and talked to a few women in his life, so it isn't like he is inexperienced.
Finally, the showdown. Shoto is busy with the extra Nomu that got in his way, barely slowing him down. It seems AFO has been taking precautions… but why? That's for you guys to theorize!
Stain vs. Jason is gonna be good, in my opinion, as it is going to show what Jason could really do against such a foe, in both the story and to you all. Hope you guys are tuned in! Anyways, I'll see you guys in the next chapter! Buh bye ;)