~ Title: Another Day in Paradise ~

~ Word Count: 2,255 ~

Sebastian was in the dim basement, known as his "cave" by his family. It was around 1 am-- of course, the anxious fucker was up. As he stared at the ceiling, he ran his hand through his raven hair that desperately needed washing. He felt so . . . remorseful? Desolate? A combination of the two. He knew this is how love stories tended to go . . . at least real-life ones. You meet somebody, become their friend, get close, and eventually start catching feelings. But he felt guilty-- he had known Sam for so long. The shame forced him to pull back from the one he adored, and problems continued to stack. Sebastian constantly tried to control his feelings, but it never worked. Since that didn't help, he tried to force himself to say it to Sam. The words evaded him, even if the words desperately desired to escape. Since he realized he loved Sam, he'd been avoiding him. He hadn't gotten out of bed in three days, let alone speak to Sam. Whenever he saw his childhood best friend, he'd get that butterfly feeling in his stomach and practically had heart eyes-- it made him want to vomit and then curl up in a hole and die. He never felt any of that lovey-dovey stuff with past relationships.

Soon, Sebastian's phone began buzzing beside him. He was surprised it was still on-- he hadn't charged it in ages. But, as soon as the phone was picked up, he saw the battery was near dead-- just like his social battery. He also saw it was Sam who was calling, his handsome face illuminating the screen. The noiret questioned if he should answer. On one hand, he didn't want to make Sam worried. He felt like he already caused enough damage to Sam being his friend. Maybe Jodi's words had gotten to Sebastian without him knowing-- more like the judgmental glares and passive-aggressive comments she would make when he was around.

On the other hand, he longed to talk to him but always got so anxious, not to mention how weird he was when they spoke. Sebastian would stare at Sam, admiring his green eyes embedded with gold flakes and his strong jawline, memorizing every detail on his face. When they spoke, he could barely put a sentence together. If Sam was lucky, Sebastian would give him a head nod in response. He could act calm, impassive, and collected, but hiding his emotions took a real toll. Especially with Sam, he could make anyone comfortable enough to tell him their whole life story in a few minutes. This usually wouldn't be a complaint but rather a compliment. But if he told him he had a crush on him, he knew it would destroy his friendship with this sweet, comforting guy. With all this contemplating, Sebastian ended up missing the call.

Not even 15 minutes later, he heard a knock at his door. Assuming it was his mother, he didn't answer. He heard muffled voices from the other side of his door, "I told you Sebby hasn't been coming out of his room or even answering me." Well, he knew that was his mother just by the nickname. But who was she talking to? Before he could answer his question, the next voice answered for him. "Hey, dude it's Sam. Open the door before I kick it down." Sebastian instantly regretted not answering the phone. It took the emo a while to get out of bed, but he did. Most of the motivation was because he didn't want to lose his door. Just as Sam was about to kick down the door, Sebastian opened it. The blond quickly stopped the momentum of his kick, stumbling a little in response. "Dude!" he exclaimed. Robin smiled sleepily at her son and then looked at Sam. "I'll let you talk to him. He isn't listening to me right now. I love you, Sebby." She gently patted his head before walking back up the stairs. She got up to answer Sam at the door, but Sebastian's mom wasn't mad. She was just glad her son finally opened the door.

Sam walked in past Sebastian, who was still in the doorway. He rolled his eyes before he closed his door, "Oh, please do come into my room," he said sarcastically. Sam huffed, clearly angry but trying to restrain himself(pretty poorly, but good for how frustrated he was). "What's wrong with you lately dude? You haven't been showing up to band practice and haven't been answering my texts or my calls or anything! Did I do something? I need you to tell me what's going on or I will go crazy." Sam was going crazy. The fair-haired male never thought he was an overthinker, but the situation made him wrack his brain far more than usual. Even when Sebastian felt depressed or upset, he consistently texted Sam so he could help him through it. The two have been extremely close ever since childhood. Sam's number-one priority was his friends. He loved all his friends--especially Sebastian--and wanted them to know they could confide and trust in him.

A sigh came from Sebastian, the guilty feeling growing. "I didn't mean to worry you I just haven't been feeling sociable lately. My mind has been a little crazy. My therapist hasn't been available in the city so I've been kind of off." He fidgeted with his black hoodie strings. "Well, I'm sorry your therapist isn't available, you can talk to me though. You can always talk to me. I know you and Abigail had a--" Sebastian quickly interrupted that thought, shaking his head. "This isn't about Abigail," he said, plain and simple. "Then what is it about? Seb, I want to help you." Sebastian shrugged and sat back on his bed, covering himself with his weighted blanket. "I just-- haven't been feeling okay. Maybe the whole thing with her was one of my last straws but it isn't all her. I mean, I'm mad at her don't get me wrong, but it's something else I can't tell you."

Sam looked offended, almost disgusted. In his head, Sebastian had no reason to keep anything for him. Why would he need to? The two had known each other since they were babies. Sam was one of the only people in Pelican Town who knew Sebastian's hair was originally red-- they knew everything about one another. "What couldn't you tell me? I'm your best friend. You know trust is my number one thing." Sebastian scratched the back of his neck. "I just . . . It's so much stuff you won't be able to follow my trail and ugh." The other shrugged and sat beside him before speaking, "I mean, I'm not Dr. Sam or anything but you can try me. It's better to get it out than keep it in." Sebastian sighed and covered his face. He didn't like being vulnerable in front of someone-- even his best friend. He knew Sam would badger him. "I'm fine, really. Everything is fine. I'm just . . . overwhelmed. So many things have been happening." He took a deep breath to try not to spiral. "I want to get out of this stupid town . . . Programming is more competitive in the city, but I can't stand it here anymore. Abigail and I planned to get out of here since we were kids. We were gonna be roommates and even if the apartment was shitty we would have each other. Then she fucking backstabbed me so all my plans are out of wack. I don't know what I'm doing with my life now! And, as you know, if I don't have consistency I'll go insane. So I lost the plans to leave and my second best friend in one fell swoop. You are the first best friend, obviously, and now only." Sebastian began to hit his head, something he did often with stress. He was craving a cigarette now. Sam quickly put his hand on Sebastian's head to create a barrier so he didn't hit his head. "Hey, don't do that." The blond took the shaky hands with chipped black nail polish, bringing them away from his head. Sebastian bit the inside of his lip harshly at the physical contact, trying not to let his crush slip out. That was the main thing stressing him, but instead, he decided to tell him about the parts of his anxiety. "And uh . . . I'm . . . well, I'm into every gender, but after Abigail, I don't think I'm trying to date any more women for a while. But then women are obsessed with emo brooding shit. Like, I'm just trying to live." So . . . he wasn't lying. Though, he did just come out to his best friend . . . even though it was obvious if you just looked at him. Sebastian sighed, "There's just so many things . . . And this town is depressing me. The only good thing about it is you. You're fucking sunshine. The voices in my head tell me you're gonna leave, though. You're gonna make it big and leave me and this town behind. Which is what I want for you, this town is garbage, but still . . ."

Sam sat in silence, carefully processing every word the raven-haired male spoke. He needed to remember every word since he planned on helping him with those things the next few days. "Wow, lots of overthinking is happening in that big ol' head of yours huh." He pulled the other close and rubbed his back a little. "Look, I get you need time but you have to eat even a snack drink some water, and leave your room for even a little sunlight. Jeez, you're like a vampire in here. If I hadn't been in here so many times already I would be tripping all over the place." Sam tried to lighten the mood a little. It got a laugh out of Sebastian. That was his first real laugh in a while. "Shut up," he said jokingly. Being this close to Sam always felt so natural . . . it healed his soul, even if he was blushing brightly. The dark ruled in his favor and would hide the beet red on his pale face. He felt like some portion of the weight was off his shoulders. At least he could feel a little less guilty.

Sam pulled away from him and looked him in the eyes. "Look I know it's hard right now but it'll get better." Sebastian turned away. He hated eye contact. "I want to believe that but I'm not sure it will." Sebastian wouldn't be better till he told him about his crush . . . Sadly, he just needed some time. Sebastian didn't want to lose one of the only people who cared about him. He had to prepare himself for that. Sam frowned a little at the negativity. He shook it off and smiled at Sebastian as an idea came to mind. "Okay well, how about this, I stay here for a few days? I help you start getting accustomed back to stuff. Perk your mood a little." The other glanced at him, his eyes focused on his forehead. He didn't meet his eyes. "Why? I'm sure you and Penny have some date or something planned." He may have been a little salty . . . just a little. Sam sighed and shook his head, "I told you we aren't dating." Sebastian rolled his eyes and laid back, "Uh huh." Sam decided to change the subject to the original and ignore the comment. It was weird. "Well, do you like that plan? Doesn't matter 'cause I'm gonna do it anyway." Sebastian seemed to be thinking for a while but eventually nodded his head. " . . . Okay fine." Sam gave him a big smile. He has such a golden retriever energy. "Okay, I'm gonna go get you some food and water. I'll be right back." Sam got up to do just as he said.

After a while, Sam returned, a smile on his face. He was glad that Sebastian was talking to him again. He missed his moody best friend. "I had to beg Gus to open back up for me, but he loves me, so he made us food." Sebastian opened his eyes sleepily. He wasn't asleep, just exhausted. He rubbed his eyes and sat up. "Does he love you if you had to beg him?" Sam laughed a little and sat beside him, setting down their meals. "Pfft-- shush you emo. I got your favorite." The other's dark eyes suddenly gleamed, "You got me Sashimi?!" He smiled cheerfully and looked at the dish, "Thank you." The man with sandy hair nodded and took a bite of his pizza. He swallowed before speaking, "I want you to eat, so I got your favorite." Sebastian chuckled softly, "Mm yeah yeah." They both devoured their food in less than 30 minutes; Sebastian was hungry from not eating in days, and Sam always ate fast. The two fell asleep listening to the hum of Sebastian's radio. They were leaning against the wall flush with Sebastian's bed, Sebastian's head resting on Sam's shoulder. Sam fell asleep after Sebastian, so he didn't seem to mind. He thought it was cute . . .