Chapter 1
Three Words - 三つの言葉"L is dead."
"What? He's dead? Did Kira kill him?"
"Most likely…"
"But L said he would capture Kira, no matter what! And now…he's gone? Is that what you're saying?"
"Mello…"
"Someone who loses a game, who can't solve the puzzle…is a loser. It's as simple as that."
"Roger—who did L choose? Near or me?"
"He hasn't chosen yet. And now that he's dead, he won't be able to make the choice. Mello, Near… Why don't you join forces and try to catch Kira together?"
"I'm fine with that."
"No. That's impossible, Roger! You know Near and I can't work together…we've always been rivals."
"…"
"Never mind, Roger. Near should be L's successor. Unlike me, Near will handle things calmly and rationally. I'm leaving the orphanage and doing this my way."
"Mello!"
"Just leave me be! I'm almost 16, you know. I'll live my life my own way!"
Mello stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. His footsteps echoed down the hall, each one filled with the frustration that had been bubbling inside him since the moment those three words—"L is dead"—had left Roger's mouth. I knew how easily Mello could overreact, but I didn't expect him to spiral out of control and leave so abruptly. Yet, I couldn't blame him. I, too, was overwhelmed, the weight of those three words pressing down on me like a suffocating blanket. Roger, the principal of our orphanage, had summoned Near and Mello to his office during class. My curiosity got the best of me, and I secretly followed them, slipping away with the excuse of needing to go to the bathroom. In hindsight, I wish I hadn't. That day, everything changed.
"What are you doing here?" Mello's voice startled me out of my thoughts. He stood in the doorway, staring directly into my dark green eyes. The intensity in his light-blue eyes was unsettling, reflecting the turmoil raging inside him. I shivered, unable to move, my feet glued to the wooden floor. "Nothing, I…" I stammered, words failing me as the tension between us crackled in the air. The look on his face was terrifying, a mix of anger, hurt, and something else I couldn't quite place. I couldn't meet his gaze, the fear gripping me too tightly.
"Tch. I knew you'd say the exact same thing. Why does everyone think Near and I should work together? Why should I work with any of you? Just stay here with your precious Near and help him catch Kira if you want to contribute to this case!" His voice was rising, the frustration pouring out with each word. This wasn't our first fight, but it felt like it might be our last.
"Why do you have to be such an idiot sometimes? Why do I even care what you do? Just go and do whatever you want!" I snapped back, my own emotions boiling over.
Roger and Near, who were still sitting behind that door, must have heard every word of our heated exchange. They probably heard all the words I still regret saying that day. Of course, I care, idiot. Of course, I care about what you do. If I didn't care, I wouldn't be standing here, begging you to stay. I wish I could have just told him the truth, laid my feelings bare. I knew the day would come when we'd have to go our separate ways, but I never imagined it would happen so suddenly, like an avalanche crashing down without warning.
"That's exactly what I'm going to do. I'm leaving this orphanage tonight," Mello said, his voice cold and final. Those were the last words I ever heard him say. After that, he simply walked away, leaving me standing there, speechless and heartbroken.
8 Years Ago, Age 8
"Mary, where are you? Come on, I know you're out here! I found one of your hair ties and a light pink hair in the grass!"
Hiding behind a large bush in the orphanage's garden, I whimpered softly, hoping to stay hidden. But Mello's footsteps drew closer, and I knew I wouldn't be able to stay hidden for long.
"I can hear you, you know," Mello said, tapping me on the forehead when he finally found me. His light-blue eyes, the color of frozen ice, bore into mine as I continued to sob quietly.
"What are you doing here? What happened this time?" he asked, his voice softer now, concerned.
"Nothing. Just leave me alone," I mumbled, my voice barely above a whisper.
"I'm afraid I can't do that, dummy. It's about to rain. You're coming with me," Mello responded, his tone bossy but not unkind.
"I don't want to," I whispered again, more stubbornly this time.
"That's not my problem. I'll drag you back inside if I have to!" he threatened, grabbing my arm and trying to pull me up. But I resisted, planting my feet firmly on the ground.
"I don't want to go back to those mean kids. They're all laughing at me because of my weird hair color…" I confessed, tears welling up in my eyes.
"Oh, come on, just ignore them," Mello replied, his tone exasperated.
"No, I don't want to go back inside!" I insisted, my voice trembling.
"Sheesh… How did a coward like you end up in Wammy's House? If they try to laugh at you again, I'll just beat the crap out of them! Now come back inside with me!"
My face brightened at his words. "You'd really do that for me?"
"Yeah. Now let's go back inside; it's getting chilly," Mello said, gently redoing my left braid with the hair tie he had found in the grass.
"You know, this hair color makes it really easy to find you," he added, a slight smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
"Is that supposed to be a compliment?" I asked, my voice tinged with disbelief.
"A compliment? Why would you think that? It's just a fact," Mello replied, slightly flustered as he reached into his pocket. "See, just like this strawberry chocolate. It's easy to spot among all the brown and black chocolates. The light pink immediately catches your eye. That's it. A simple fact." He held out a light pink chocolate, the packaging almost as bright as my hair.
"Mello…" I was taken aback, staring at the chocolate in his hand with a confused look.
"Just take it!"
"Where did you get this chocolate?" I asked, still trying to process his gesture.
"Our ball rolled down to a small shop after X threw it too far. This chocolate immediately caught my eye, simply because of the pink packaging. The shopkeeper gave it to me. Now just take it. Let's go back inside."
I took the strawberry chocolate from his hand and muttered, "Thank you, Mello." Words I hadn't used much before. After I said them, Mello turned away, lowering his head to the ground.
"Don't get me wrong! I only came to get you because Roger asked me to!" he claimed, trying to mask his embarrassment.
"You're funny, Mello!" I laughed, finding it amusing how easily he got irritated.
"Are you laughing at me? After complaining about the other kids laughing at you?" he asked, his tone a mix of mock anger and genuine confusion.
"Yes, I am. Do you have a problem with that?" I challenged, feeling a little braver now.
"A problem? No, I don't. But you're going to have one once I surpass Near and become the number one, the new L of this orphanage!"
"Well, that's still going to take some years, so lucky me!" I teased, my voice gaining a bit of confidence.
"Don't say I didn't warn you when the time comes!" Mello shot back, his competitive spirit flaring up.
"Let's see if you'll still be able to find me then!" I countered playfully.
"Didn't I just tell you, dummy? I'll find you anywhere. You can't hide that hair!" he finished, grabbing my arm again and pulling me back inside.
"He's really going to leave, huh?" I whispered, my voice barely audible.
After the fight with Mello, I had retreated to my room, curling up on my bed. "Matt?"
"Once Mello's set his mind to something, he won't listen to anybody," Matt said, his tone calm and resigned as he sat down beside me. Compared to Mello, Matt was always much calmer, more thoughtful.
"I don't care!" I protested, though the tears on my face told a different story.
"The traces of tears on your face say otherwise," Matt observed, his voice gentle as he put an arm around my shoulders. "I just thought… I just thought we could stay here together forever, you know? But what was I even thinking? As if that was possible. Mello's such an egoist, after all," I mumbled, feeling the weight of my words as they hung in the air.
"Yeah…I remember you said something like that once. How old were we back then? Ten?" Matt mused, his voice tinged with nostalgia.
6 years ago, 10 years old
We were all gathered in Matt and Mello's room, our blankets spread out on the floor as we played video games late into the night. The room was dimly lit, the glow of the screens casting a soft light over us as we lay on our makeshift beds, gazing occasionally at the night sky through the window. Mostly, it was just Matt and me playing. Mello, as usual, was more engrossed in his books.
"Hey. What did you write for the essay about your future dream?" I asked, turning to my friends.
"Easy!" Matt replied instantly, a grin on his face. "I want to play all the video games out there. Even the most difficult ones. There's no video game I can't beat!"
"Why did I see that coming?" I chuckled, shaking my head at his predictability.
"And you, Mary?" Matt asked, his eyes curious as he looked at me.
"I just want a family. Just like I have now. I wish we could all stay here together forever. Me, you, Mello, and Near. I like everything the way it is now," I confessed, my voice filled with quiet longing.
"Nice!" Matt commented, nodding in approval. Suddenly, Mello, who had been lying next to me on the right, closed his book with a snap.
"Well, count me out. I'm definitely not spending the rest of my life living in the same house as Near!" Mello declared, his tone defiant.
"Oh my god, can you not?! Why do you always have to ruin the mood?" I slapped Mello's right shoulder, frustrated by his constant need to compete with Near.
"I'll surpass Near and become number one. Just you wait," Mello said, his voice full of determination.
"Why did I even ask…" I sighed, exasperated by his single-mindedness.
"And what are you going to do once you've reached that goal?" Matt asked, his question catching Mello off guard.
After a brief pause, Mello replied, "Once I'm number one…then everyone's finally going to look up to me. I'll have all the power!"
"Power? Sounds good. Once you have all the power, please buy me every single video game out there," Matt said, grinning from ear to ear.
"Matt, don't you ever think about anything other than video games?" Mello asked, shaking his head in disbelief.
"In fact, I do. Pretty girls. In video games," Matt replied, his grin widening.
"I give up, you're hopeless. I'll never get you," Mello sighed, throwing his hands up in defeat.
"And I'll never get boys," I muttered, letting out another sigh.
"And I'll never get girls. It's still a mystery to me why you like Near," Mello said, his voice laced with genuine confusion.
"As long as you're not able to solve that mystery, you'll never become number one. It's as easy as that," I teased, a smirk forming on my face.
"What did you just say?!" Mello demanded, his eyes narrowing in challenge.
"You have to step up your game. Once we're married, it'll be too late," I shot back, enjoying the banter.
"As if that's ever going to happen, dummy!" Mello retorted, rolling his eyes.
"Stop calling me a dummy…I'm not dumb! Idiot!" I countered, my voice rising slightly.
"Phew…I can't listen to this anymore. Guess I'll stay with Angie after all," Matt chimed in, his tone light.
"Who's Angie?" Mello and I asked simultaneously, both of us genuinely curious.
"The assisting anesthesiologist in Trauma Center," Matt replied nonchalantly.
Mello and I exchanged glances, both of us completely lost.
"The game I just finished," Matt clarified, chuckling at our confusion.
"Oh…" I muttered, feeling a bit silly for not catching on sooner.
"Seriously, Matt, seriously?" Mello asked, shaking his head in disbelief.
Exactly like that. I wish everything could have stayed exactly like this.
"He'll really leave, won't he?" I asked Matt one more time, my voice trembling with uncertainty. Gently, Matt put his arm around me, offering the only comfort he could. "Yeah, I guess he will…" he said softly, his voice tinged with resignation.
"What are we supposed to do now, Matt? L is dead. What are you going to do from now on?" I asked, my mind swirling with the weight of everything that had changed.
"I'm afraid we also have to go our own way and try to find something we really want to do. Something that's really important to us. Just like catching Kira and becoming number one is to Mello," Matt replied, his tone reflective and a bit distant as he stared out into the dark.
"…Something that's really important to us…" I echoed, the words feeling heavy in my mouth, as if I was only just beginning to grasp their meaning.
"I'm sure you'll do fine, Mary," Matt assured me, though his voice lacked the usual confidence. It was more like he was trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to reassure me.
A few hours later, I found myself standing by the window, staring out into the cold December night. My eyes followed Mello as he walked through the gate of the orphanage, a big, black gym bag strapped over his shoulder. His silhouette slowly faded into the darkness, swallowed by the night. My hands pressed against the glass, willing myself to open the window and scream, "Wait! Please stay!" But the words lodged in my throat, refusing to come out, no matter how much I wanted to call out to him.
The glass beneath my hands was cold as ice, a stark contrast to the warmth I so desperately wanted to feel. It was as if the frigid December night had seeped into my very bones, leaving me numb and helpless. And then, just like that, he was gone. A few days before his sixteenth birthday, Mello disappeared forever, leaving behind an emptiness I couldn't quite describe.