Chapter 53
Aftermath
"What power… it surpasses mine own… a god born from the wish of the masses."
Ren had never realized how powerful hope and faith could be, until now. After his life had ripped apart from it, he had thought everything was bleak. But his friends' faith in him gave the ability to push forward. And even there was just a tiny speck of hope… there was a reason to fight for a better future.
"Damn that Igor… it seems he wasn't spouting nonsense…" Yaldabaoth grumbled out, albeit reluctantly.
That was when Yaldabaoth began to glow, dissipating to golden light.
"We won…" Ken spoke in wonder.
"Hell yeah we won!" Ryuji grabbed Ren by the shoulders, grinning from ear to ear. "Damn, you kicked ass back there! You literally blew a hole in the head with that badass gunshot!"
Ren smiled tiredly. "I couldn't have done without you guys…"
He might've laid back and just died there, if he didn't have the hope to see his friends again. They meant everything to him.
"Guys… look!" Anne gasped.
Ren looked up to see that the golden light slowly took on a form… a golden cup. Or was it a chalice…?
"Ain't that a Treasure?" Ryuji asked, stepping away from Ren and cocking his head. "Right, Mona?"
Morgana didn't respond right away.
He gave a slow inhale. "Thanks for everything, gang."
Haru gave Morgana a startled look. "Mona-chan?"
Morgana didn't respond, just walking up to the Treasure. Looking at it now… it was so small now.
"What gives, Mona? You're acting… weird," Futaba said hesitantly.
"Humans have the power to change the world. They just forgot about that a bit." Morgana said faintly.
Yusuke frowned. "Morgana, why bring this up now?"
"Thanks to you guys, I was able to fulfill my duty…"
Makoto closed her eyes for a moment. "Everything was thanks to you, wasn't it, Morgana?"
"Thank you, Morgana," Ren said. "We would've been lost without you."
A corner of Morgana's lip quirked up. "Heh… don't you forget it. But I… I got to be useful for humans that I admired so much. Nothing could make me happier."
Ken sighed. "So, where does this leave us?"
"Yaldabaoth was behind this place. With him gone, this place will disappear too."
"Like as you said…" Haru murmured.
"No regrets though… right?" Morgana asked.
Haru just shook her head, smiling softly. "Never."
Morgana gave a nod. "Time to go home."
He looked towards the Treasure, which started to glow. It grew brighter and brighter until Ren was momentarily blinded.
They found themselves waist deep in blood.
"The hell?!" Ryuji demanded.
Everyone else was frozen in place. No… what was wrong now?
"Wait… it's stopped raining," Ryuji pointed out.
"Hey, guys!" Makoto pointed up to the sky.
Ren's heart swelled up at the sight. A beautiful blue, filled with big fluffy clouds.
"I never thought I'd miss this sight…" Ken sighed out.
Then the blood began to crystallize and it shattered, the sound ringing out in the city. Ren watched with a smile as all signs of Mementos began to disappear.
"It's gorgeous…" Haru breathed.
Futaba could only nod. "Yeah…"
But that was when their surroundings began to glow white. Ren could only look around in bewilderment.
"My word…" Yusuke breathed.
"But why's everything—" Anne began to say, only to be cut off by Morgana.
"The whole world is a product of cognition."
"Morgana…?" Ren asked.
He's been acting so strange since they beat Yaldabaoth. It was almost… bittersweet? Ren couldn't help but feel troubled by the implication.
"...not just the Metaverse. It can be freely re-made… The same goes for you, and everyone else." Morgana looked up to them with a smile.
And Morgana… was glowing. Just like everything else around them.
"Dude, Mona!" Ryuji's eyes went wide with alarm.
"No," Ken uttered, shaking his head. He looked terrified. "No, no, no… You can't."
Haru had her hands pressed against her mouth before she choked out, "Mona-chan!"
Anne choked back a sob. "This can't be happening!"
They tried to run towards Morgana but an abrupt fissure stopped them from moving forward. Morgana looked at peace, even as his body grew more and more translucent.
"Soon a new world will come. One where mankind isn't held captive. The world will shine brightly as long as you hold hope in your hearts."
"But what's going to happen to you?!" Makoto cried out.
"Morgana… please…" Ren pleaded, unable to stop his voice from cracking. "You have to stay."
They had never thought Morgana would disappear along with Mementos! Why… just why? Had Morgana known about this, when he proposed the plan to destroy Mementos? And he had just… accepted it?
Ren had to swallow hard, choking back his tears. Haru and Futaba were already crying.
But Morgana just smiled.
"Remember there is no such thing as a 'real world'. What everyone sees and feels… that's what shapes reality. This is what gives the world infinite potential. Even if you feel that only darkness lies ahead… as long as you hold hands together, see it through as one… the world will never end! The world exists within all of you!"
Anne just buried her face into Ren's shoulder. He held her tight until the light grew too bright to look at.
"Morgana…" Anne sniffled, reluctantly raising her head.
"Mona…" Futaba took off her glasses and wiped at her eyes.
Everything returned to normal. People moving about their day, talking about mundane excitements or issues. But Ren didn't care or pay attention to whatever it is the pedestrians were talking about. He should feel happy seeing everything back to normal, but he never expected it would cost something important.
"It's not fair!" Ren blurted out. "He did everything he was meant to do… he finally achieved his mission and he has to go like that? T-There was so much we could've done together. What we should've done together."
"Ren…" Yusuke sighed. "I—"
He then stopped short, wrapping an arm around his torso. He was… at a loss of words. He felt sick.
"Why…? It's not fair," he thought.
"Um… the Meta-Nav is gone…" Haru said quietly. "I-It's as Mona-chan said…"
"Mona…" Futaba's gaze grew downcast. "H-He's really… we can't see him anymore, can we…?"
Ren just looked away. He didn't know what to say. He was used to trying to uplift his friends' spirits but he couldn't. Not this time. Why did their victories have to come so bittersweet? For Sae, it was enacting the plan and throwing himself into danger. For Shido, it had been thinking that Ryuji was dead.
But for Morgana—there would be no miraculous survival.
He tried to imagine his life without Morgana… but he couldn't. And unfortunately, this was his reality.
"...I know. You don't have to say it," Futaba said, sighing.
"C-C'mon, don't look so down. I mean, Morgana would totally mock us if he saw us right now," Ryuji said, trying to inject some cheer in his voice.
But there was a shaking in his voice, like he really didn't believe it.
"...If only he was here to do so," Ken said quietly, staring down at the ground.
"Ken…" Makoto sighed out, putting a hand on his shoulder as he finally raised his face.
Ken leaned against her touch, but his sorrowful expression didn't change.
Haru began to sniffle again, carefully wiping at her eyes. "It's not fair…"
Sometimes… life really was unfair.
"Ken-kun!"
Ken flinched, turning to see the Shadow Operatives and Sae hurrying over to them. But then they stopped short, looking at everyone's faces.
"Ken?" Shinjiro-san asked with a frown. "What's wrong?"
Ken looked at his guardian, giving a weak smile. "We won but… Morgana—he's…"
His voice cracked and he suddenly stared down at the ground.
"He's gone," Haru said softly.
"Oh… I see…" Minako-san's voice went soft with sympathy.
Ren sighed. "Have you noticed any changes yet? In the people?"
Maybe he would be able to accept it more easily, if he knew that they were successful…
Yusuke nodded. "Yes, were we able to change their hearts?"
"Um, well—" Fuuka-san began.
"Agh! I'm going to be late for my date!"
"All alone on Christmas… man, this tanks."
"Weren't people talking about this before the merge?" Anne frowned. "It's… kinda hard to tell."
Ren's heart sank. After everything, it had been useless? And they lost Morgana in the bargain?
"No. No, no, no…"
"Aren't we going into the new year without a prime minister, though? Will this country be all right?"
"But there's no way we're getting Shido. There are a ton of shady rumors about him, y'know?"
At that, Ren's head snapped up.
Wait! This guy… he wasn't distorted about Shido anymore!
"I wonder how things will go… I hope Shido will be able to face justice now…" Haru said dolefully.
"I'm sure it will," Akihiko-san said with a smile. "People won't lobby for Shido to remain prime minister, right?"
"What does the local lawyer say to that?" Minako-san's voice grew teasing.
"H-Huh?" Sae blinked before pressing a hand to her temple. "Forgive me… It's been a long day. I'm very tired."
"I can't say I blame ya." Junpei-san sighed. "Man, things went kinda bananas back there."
"Yeah… that's putting it quite lightly," Makoto mumbled out.
Minako-san looked around before she clapped her hands together once. "Hey, do I have to remind you that it's still Christmas Eve? I say we celebrate the victories. Mementos is gone and Shido's conspiracy goon squad is gonna tank. That's something to celebrate, right?"
Ren blinked, watching Ken's expression grow thoughtful. Even the Shadow Operatives began to murmur amongst themselves.
He could catch onto what she was saying, though. Even though they lost Morgana… they had won. The rest of his friends were exhausted from the fight, but they were safe and well.
That was a small victory, as bittersweet it was….
"Come on, Niijima-san, you too!" Minako-san grabbed onto the taller woman's arm. "You should come celebrate with us too!"
"I… what?" Sae looked flustered. "I don't think…"
"Forget it, Niijima," Akihiko-san called out to her before giving his wife a fond smile. "Once Mina gets an idea in her head, there's nothing stopping her."
"She's like a bulldozer," Junpei-san seconded.
"I just wanna see Sojiro," Futaba said, shaking her head. "Maybe tomorrow…"
"We should get together for that," Anne mentioned. "I mean, it's Christmas! Maybe a small party?"
"That sounds fun." Ren tried to smile.
Ken looked to the Shadow Operatives. "How long are you staying?"
Akihiko-san shrugged. "At least for the night. But Mina and I probably won't stay for long. Kikuno's babysitting Kiyo but we should get back to her as soon as we can, once we're rested."
Yukari-san nodded, pressing her lips together. "Same for me. I already feel bad enough for having to leave the twins so soon after coming back."
"And I wanna get back to Chidorita ASAP!" Junpei-san said. "Gotta make it up to her for tonight…"
He called his wife Chidorita? Ren couldn't help but think about the grass starter from the Kohto region with that. What was it called again? Chicoretta? Whatever, it wasn't important at the moment.
"But where are you going to stay?" Makoto asked.
Junpei-san let out a guffaw, his gray eyes twinkling. "Mako-tan, Mako-tan… You forget that we got here because of Mitsuru-senpai. And she has so many estates in Tokyo! We'll just crash there for the night."
"It is only right. They are here at my behest," she stated with a shrug before her eyes slid to Ren and his friends. "If you would like to accompany us…"
"Um… maybe not tonight," Haru said, shaking her head. "I'm exhausted…"
Makoto seemed to start before she grasped Ken's sleeve, whispering something to him.
Ken's brows furrowed together before he responded in just as low of a voice but Makoto tilted her head, before gesturing towards the city.
Just what were they talking about?
Koromaru suddenly barked, making Aigis-san turn her head. She tilted her head.
"Ken-san, Makoto-san, I would recommend against trying to find a restaurant to spend the rest of Christmas together," she announced. "Statistics have shown that it's near to impossible to secure a spot without a reservation."
Ken glowered at Koromaru as Makoto's expression grew flustered. "Did you have to say it in front of Aigis-san?"
Sae stopped and stared. Oh right, she didn't know that Aigis-san could talk to dogs.
"Well, that just means that we have to take Sae-san with us!" Minako-san chirped out before she winked. "So Ken-kun and Makoto-chan can have some time alone~"
As the Shadow Operatives started to tease Ken, obviously taking great joy in making him sputter and blush, Ren felt Anne's hand in his.
"They have the right idea, Ren," Anne whispered, giving his fingers a squeeze. "Wanna see if we can squeeze in a small celebration tonight?"
"That sounds great, Anne," Ren said, giving his girlfriend a smile.
"I'll have to grab my present from home, but I'll meet you in front of the train station in half an hour or so." Anne leaned up, pressing a kiss against his cheek, before she broke into a sprint, running off.
"Anne, wait, you shouldn't run! You can slip!" Makoto called out, cupping her hands to her mouth.
Sae watched her as well, biting her lip. Maybe she was worried too?
"I mean, if she can run in those wicked high heels as Panther…" Futaba trailed off.
Fuuka-san laughed. "You should've seen the heels that Mitsuru-senpai would wear."
"This is seriously a superpower…" Futaba said in awe. "I bet I would trip and fall if I tried to wear them."
"Yes, you do lack the grace," Yusuke agreed, nodding.
"Oh shut up, Inari…!"
Haru chuckled. "Now, now…"
Futaba huffed before sticking her tongue out at Yusuke. "Welp, if the couples are gonna be gross with each other, I'm gonna split. I need to see if Sojiro's okay…"
"Yeah, I'm worried about Mom too," Ryuji said after a short pause. "C'mon, I'll walk ya, Futaba."
"Thanks…"
Without further ado, the two of them waved at everyone before heading off for the train station.
"Perhaps I should go to the dorms as well," Yusuke said. "I'm out of train fare though so… I ought to set out as soon as I can."
Haru's eyes widened in alarm before she grabbed onto his arm. "Ah, Yusuke-kun… how about you join me then? Let's warm you up with some hot chocolate and then I'll ask my driver to take you home to the dorms."
Yusuke blinked. "Ah… forever the milk of human kindness, Haru. I will accept your invitation."
"The milk of what…? Interesting choice in compliments," Ren thought with a quirked brow.
Despite knowing him for several months now, he still couldn't wrap his head around Yusukeisms sometimes.
As they walked off, Yusuke offered Haru his arm, which Haru gratefully accepted. At least they would have each other…
Fuuka-san watched with a soft smile before turning to Mitsuru-san, clearing her throat. "Um, so, Mitsuru-senpai? Where is everyone going to stay?"
"Hmm…" Mitsuru-san touched her chin, in deep thought. "I have one in mind. I've… lent it to members of our organization before. There might be some fresh changes of clothes if it's still stocked."
"Mitsuru-senpai thinks of everything!" Junpei-san said with a wide grin.
"Statistically one needs to," Aigis-san droned out. "It certainly won't be Junpei-san."
Junpei-san staggered back, clutching at his heart. "Ai-chan, you wound me!"
"And yet Stupei can't deny it," Yukari-san said, examining her nails.
As another bickering fest flared up, making Mitsuru-san sigh… Ren noticed Ken and Makoto slip away as the adults were distracted.
Christmas…
His first Christmas with Anne…
Ren let out a small smile appear on his face as he walked towards the train station.
Today had been a roller coaster, but… at least he could end the night with Anne.
"Ren-kun, wait!"
Ren blinked, turning to see that Yukari-san was standing before him. The brown-haired woman opened her mouth, only to shut it. Then open and close again.
Ren tilted his head. "Are you trying to catch flies?"
Yukari-san's expression suddenly grew flustered. "N-No! It's just—"
She stopped short.
"You—" And she grew quiet again, cutting herself off. Then she lifted her head, a small smile on her lips. "You were incredible, Ren-kun."
Ren's eyes widened.
"I-I mean, you've seen a lot of this kind of thing. Is it really special to you?"
Yukari-san's expression turned stern. "Hey, don't beat yourself up. Look, I know that… hearing about our past exploits probably was a lot. But it doesn't demean your accomplishments. And um… try to enjoy tonight with Anne-chan, Ren-kun. You deserve it. After everything you've gone through during this entire year…"
She then looked like she was contemplating about saying more but then Minako-san called out to her.
"Yukari-chan, let's go!"
"Coming!" Yukari-san then turned back to Ren, an almost bittersweet smile on her face. "I'll see you tomorrow, Ren-kun. Until then!"
Ren gave a wave before continuing to walk towards the train station. It was… a little lonely. He was so used to Morgana chattering away. Ren shook his head. No, he couldn't have this sort of mindset. He was going to have fun with Anne tonight. Morgana would want him to keep his best foot forward, that furball was always looking out for his best interests. Morgana wouldn't want him moping now. Plus he'd be mad at Ren if he didn't keep Anne smiling, he has to keep his spirits up for her too.
But he had barely moved forward when another voice called out to him.
"Ren-kun? A word, if you would?"
He turned around to see that Sae was looking at him with a… odd expression on her face.
"Wiggled free from Minako-san, I see," Ren commented.
"Yes, I—" Sae gave a sharp inhale before wrapping an arm around herself. "Listen, Ren-kun… there's something I need to discuss with you."
"Okay but… make it quick. I have to meet up with Anne soon," Ren told her.
Sae visibly winced before she cleared her throat. "First of all, I just want to thank you for fulfilling my request. With your actions, I can only hope that public opinion changes. Do you think it changed?"
"What we overheard is promising," Ren said, tucking his hands into his pockets. "I believe it will."
"That's good to hear…" Sae's voice grew distant before she snapped back to attention. "Shido confessed to a variety of crimes. We can arrest him on those charges."
Ren frowned. "Why do I hear a 'but' in that…?"
Sae heaved out a sigh. "The problem lies in proving him guilty. It'd be difficult unless the correlation between the Metaverse and the mental shutdowns is made. Akechi-kun, who perpetrated those crimes, has gone missing…"
Her expression grew… conflicted. Ren frowned at the sight of it. Well, he supposed that Sae was bound to feel torn about Akechi, what with their former partnership.
But then her eyes steeled; the resemblance to Makoto suddenly became striking. "You're the only ones left who can testify."
"W-Wait…" Ren couldn't stop a stutter from creeping into his voice. "You want me to testify? As me or…?"
Sae sighed heavily. "I'm sorry… but yes. I want you to turn yourself into the police. As… the leader of the Phantom Thieves."
Ren's eyes widened and felt as if someone threw their drink in his face. Why would she ask this of him?
"But why?" Ren asked.
He thought… everything was over.
But of course. Of course there was something…
"Your testimony will be necessary in order to prove Shido guilty," Sae stated, folding her arms over her chest. "That will mean placing you on center stage. You'll be treated as a hero who saved this country… but there's no way that the police or the public prosecutors will let that slide. They'll lose face to you and the Phantom Thieves. If that happens, there's no telling what they'll do to you or your teammates. There's even the possibility that they'll fabricate a crime and move to arrest you all."
Ren's hands clenched. Of course. It was all about their damn reputation.
"If you turn yourself in to the police, you'll definitely be arrested. And there's your past record. The police and prosecution will strike there. They'll treat your arrest as grave misconduct and revoke your probation…"
Ren squeezed his eyes shut. There was always something, huh…? But then he caught sight of the pinched expression on her face. She took no joy in this…
"You'll be most likely sent to juvenile hall and placed in solitary confinement," Sae stated, biting her lip. "But… They'll be content as long as they get a testimony without the Phantom Thieves being hailed as heroes. That should guarantee the safety of your teammates, Or rather, I'll make sure it's guaranteed. I'll close all the cases surrounding Shido. I intend to expose them all. It's to prevent society from becoming distorted again. That's what you want too, isn't it?"
"Is there… really no other way?" Ren asked quietly.
Sae pursed her lips. "I suppose… if we found Akechi and convinced him to confess. But the clock is ticking. I'm not sure if that is even plausible. There's been no sight of him, after all. For all we know, he's fled the country amidst all of the chaos."
Ren grimaced. Damn… It was worth a shot.
Ren closed his eyes, pressing a hand against his face. In his mind's eye, he could see each of his friends' faces, completely utterly miserable behind bars.
It was either him… or all of them.
And that… cemented his decision. He wasn't going to let his friends be dragged down, not if he could help it… It was the only way to not let their efforts go to waste.
"I'll do it," Ren said quietly.
Sae's eyes widened for a moment. "Ren-kun… thank you."
"It was no choice," Ren said flatly. "But… I have one request."
"The outing you had planned," Sae stated.
Ren nodded.
He wanted to see Anne's smile one last time, burn it in his memory. For a moment, he wondered how long it'd take until Anne's voice and face would fade away…
Ren swallowed hard. He needed to see her, even if he couldn't see the others…
Sae exhaled. "Very well. I'll come and fetch you for it tomorrow morning."
"Thank you," Ren breathed.
"...It's the least I can do," Sae said, pursing her lips. "And Ren-kun… I'm truly sorry it had to come to this."
Ren just shook his head. "It's that or let my friends' lives go to ruin. And that's not an option."
Morgana may be gone… but he could still save his other friends.
"You really are a noble person," Sae mused. "I'm very grateful, all things considered, Makoto found a friend like you in her life. All of you."
"Thanks. I'll… see you tomorrow, then." Ren gave a small bow of his head before hurrying away.
It was in that moment that his phone suddenly went off. His lips twisted in a grimace as he noted who was trying to contact him. He quickly shoved his phone in his pocket, determined to push his parents out of his head.
He scanned the area as he wove in and out of the packed crowd. He felt a pang as he saw couples his age and older holding hands. But then a flash of red caught his eye.
Anne's back was turned as she scanned for him. Ren slowed his footsteps as he drew close. He then spun Anne around and embraced her tightly.
"Ren!" Anne gasped out, shock shining in her eyes. Then she wiggled in his grasp. "Sheesh, Ren, it's not like it's been that long since we've seen each other."
Ren just loosened his grasp around her waist, dipping his head to bury his face into the crook of her neck for a moment. "Sorry, just after Morgana… I needed to make sure you're safe… and here with me."
He could feel his arms shaking. God, he needed to get a grip. He was here to enjoy one last night with his girlfriend. He couldn't break her heart by letting her catch on…
Anne looked to him, before her eyes softened with compassion. She then reached up, resting a hand against his cheek.
"I'm here, Ren. Sorry but you're stuck with me," Anne said jokingly.
Ren forced a smile, taking a step back and catching her hand. He raised it to his lips, before saying sincerely, "I wouldn't have it any other way, my lady."
Except… she wouldn't be his much longer. It wouldn't be fair to behold her like this. After he turned himself in, she should try to find someone new. Someone that she could love just as much as him, if not more.
But then Anne's expression grew serious. "Ren… are you okay? I mean, with Morgana… I know he was one of your best friends."
Ren looked down. "He was everyone's friend. It isn't just me who's affected."
It wasn't just him who lost someone.
Anne bit her lip. "Yeah but… you two had a special bond."
"I… I'll be okay. Let's just have fun tonight, okay? Morgana would want us all to be happy." Ren said, forcing a smile to his lips. "I want this to be a night that you'll remember."
Anne smiled and nodded. "Yeah! I know the restaurants are probably pretty crowded, what with it being Christmas Eve. But I'm sure we can find something!"
Ren just smiled to himself. He was going to miss how bright and optimistic she was.
He was going to miss all of his friends… but her most of all.
Christmas in Tokyo was usually gorgeous, with the entire city illuminated. And while the buildings were slowly lighting up again, it wasn't its usual splendor.
"I wish you could see how it usually is for Christmas," Makoto said wistfully.
"Well, the city did put up its lights today," Ken commented.
"I know but… it would've been nice to admire the lights with you," Makoto sighed. "It just feels that the past few weeks don't feel… real."
Ken let out a sigh before giving a nod. "I know what you mean. Probably didn't help that I was stuck inside for so long."
Makoto let out a small hum before reaching for Ken's free hand.
"I just hope it's over now…"
There were still certain matters that nagged at Makoto, but she wanted to push it aside for tonight. After everything that had transpired tonight… Makoto couldn't help but shiver a little, recalling how utterly helpless she had felt when Yaldabaoth had attempted to wipe them all away from existence.
"Are you cold, Makoto?" Ken's concerned voice pulled her out of her brooding.
"Ah, well… not quite," Makoto admitted. "It's—I'll tell you when we get inside…"
Ken was quiet for a moment but he gave a nod. "Okay."
But he slipped an arm around her anyway, resting his hand at her waist, as they continued walking to the apartment Makoto shared with Sae. Normally both of them were content with just holding hands when they were walking together.
A few moments of walking passed in comfortable silence before Ken spoke up.
"It's been a while since I've seen a white Christmas."
Makoto blinked. "Really…?"
Ken let out a small hum. "Sometimes it snows on Port Island, sometimes it doesn't. It just happened to not snow in the past two years. Granted, this is a pretty light snowfall but still…"
It was snowing just enough for snowflakes to catch in their hair.
"Might need to break out the heavy winter coat for Shujin soon, then…" Makoto mused.
It wasn't long until they arrived at the apartment. Makoto took a moment to run a hand through her hair, shaking out the melting snow. She was about to invite Ken inside when he suddenly pulled her in his arms, holding her tight.
"Ken…?"
Makoto clutched at his blazer, looking up at him. Ken took in a shuddering breath.
"I'm sorry… I just—" Ken shook his head. "I-I think… it sunk in just now."
"I-It's okay, Ken. We survived," Makoto whispered. "But come on, let's get inside. We should be more comfortable in the apartment."
Ken nodded before Makoto pulled away, taking his hand and leading him into the apartment. Once they were seated together, Makoto pulled herself together to speak.
"That's what happened earlier… what was bothering me," Makoto mumbled out. "J-Just… the fact that we nearly died. It felt like… everything we had fought for had been all for nothing. It just came… crashing down."
Ken just slipped his arms around her, kissing her temple.
"I know what you mean." Ken's eyes grew dull and he bit his lip. "When it was my turn… only Ren and Morgana were left. And when you disappeared, it was…"
He trailed off, unable to finish his sentence. Makoto took his hand once more, squeezing.
His hand was warm, with faint calluses on his palm. Solid and firm, as it always was.
"It's over now at least…" Makoto said.
There was still a lot to take care of but… they had to leave it into Sae's hands. She could only pray that her sister's efforts would bear fruit this time and that Shido and his associates would get their rightful punishment.
She then tried to smile. "But… it's Christmas Eve. We should take advantage of the time we have now."
Ken nodded with a smile. "I actually got Shinjiro-san to order us a cake. It's not the biggest but…"
"I'm sure that it's wonderful," Makoto said with a light laugh. Then she stood up. "But I need to get your present. I'll be right back."
She immediately headed for her bedroom, reaching underneath her bed and drawing out her present for Ken. As she took it in both hands, she felt a wave of uncertainty. Would Ken even like what she got him…?
When she came back, present in hand, she noticed that Ken was looking at the family portrait, which had been sitting on the coffee table. She had been little more than a toddler when it was taken. Sae, at ten years old, was standing right in front of Dad, with Dad's hand on her shoulder, while Makoto was balanced on Mom's hip.
"Ah, sorry…" Ken seemed to snap to attention. "I was just taken by surprise. Aside from my memories, this is the first time I've seen your mother. She's beautiful."
Makoto smiled. "Yes… Sis takes a lot after her."
Ken studied the portrait for a couple more moments before his lips curved into a smile. "You have her smile, though. And I think the shape of your faces are rather similar, plus your eyes are the same color."
"I-If you say so." Makoto tucked a stray strand of hair, letting out a small laugh.
Ken tilted his head, taking a moment to look at her before he reached for his gift.
"Merry Christmas, Makoto," he said softly.
Makoto took the package from him. She always disliked ripping into wrapping paper so it took her several moments for her to peel away the tape and slowly remove the wrapping paper. She did notice that Ken got antsy, starting to fidget. She fought back a chuckle. Even Ken got impatient, did he?
A Like A Yakuza: Dragon DVD was on top. But that's not what drew her eyes.
"Is this autographed?!" Makoto exclaimed. "By Jackie Chun?!"
"Yukari-san worked with him a couple years ago," Ken said. "I actually thought it was a long shot, but I asked Yukari-san about it over a month ago and she got him to agree. And I remembered you mentioning that he was one of your favorite action stars so…"
Makoto threw her arms around him, "Thank you" falling from her lips repeatedly.
"And the Dragon series is a good movie series. I had been meaning to watch the series but… it was fun to watch it with you," Ken said, his cheeks turning pink.
Makoto set it aside. "Well, maybe we can watch it later tonight too. Did you catch the theater release? I forget…"
Ken shook his head. "I didn't. It released back in June and well… you know what I was up to then."
"Good point," Makoto said with a laugh. "We should watch it together then."
But as she handed over her gift, she was once again uncertain. Ken just took it with a smile before peeling away the wrapping paper. As he lifted the lid from the box, she spoke.
"U-Um, Shinjiro-san mentioned that you were talking about needing another scarf. I-I thought it'd be nice to make one for you. I asked Kanji-san for advice and well… I'm sorry, it's not the best."
Kanji-san had told her that it wasn't that bad, but Makoto had dropped a few loops while knitting the scarf for him. Ken was quiet as he rubbed a hand over the fabric.
Then he looped the scarf around his neck, tucking it snugly. He then reached out, taking her hands.
"I love it," he said sincerely. "Especially since you made it for me. And I know that sewing and the like isn't the easiest."
Makoto blinked. "Wait… do you know how to sew?"
"It's a good skill to have!" Ken immediately retorted, only for his expression to become sheepish. "Shinjiro-san taught me after I kept getting in scrapes while training with the soccer club."
Makoto held a hand to her mouth to stifle a laugh. "Shinjiro-san? Really?"
Ken's eyes just twinkled. "Minako-san says he's housewife material for a good reason."
"Imagine if Ren ever caught wind of that," Makoto said with a laugh.
"Well, he lived through Junpei-san and Minako-san's teasing. He'd survive," Ken said with a laugh.
Ken laughed rarely. But it always made Makoto feel warm, hearing it.
They continued to chat for several minutes before Makoto got up, insisting on cooking dinner for the both of them. It had been just a simple stir fry but Ken had found it delicious. Given the food that Ken ate on a regular basis, Makoto found it quite the compliment.
They then sliced the cake. It was delicious and creamy, the batter swirled with a delicate strawberry flavor.
But as they ate the cake, a thought occurred to Makoto.
"Hey Ken?"
"Hm?"
Ken looked up. Makoto chuckled at the sight of cream smeared on the corner of his mouth. She reached out, wiping it away. Pink crept into his cheeks at the sudden contact but Makoto just laughed, leaning in to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. After cleaning her finger, she spoke up.
"I was just… wondering. I know that Shinjiro-san said that you would stay in Tokyo until graduation. But have you thought about what you'll do after graduating?"
Ken pursed his lips. "Well… not entirely. I realize now… that I do want to keep doing what we're doing now. Shadow Operative work but… only for emergencies. I still haven't figured out what exactly I want to study. Maybe forensics? I'm not entirely sure… I just know that I want to do something with criminal justice. I don't know where it'd take me though."
"It's okay to not know what you want," Makoto said. "I mean, we're only eighteen."
Ken nodded with a smile. "I know."
Then he reached out, squeezing her hand.
"And… I also know that whatever future I pursue—I want you to be there," he murmured.
Makoto's face grew warm.
"I want that too," she whispered.
Ken just smiled warmly at her.
"Merry Christmas, Makoto."
He then kissed her, gentle and slow. Makoto's eyes fluttered shut as she savored the kiss all while sliding into his lap. When they came up for air, Makoto just rested her head against Ken's shoulder.
All in all… it was a wonderful Christmas.
"Ugh… I can't believe we couldn't find a single restaurant that would take us!"
Ren just laughed, turning to face his girlfriend. "Well, Aigis-san did warn us. Though that makes me wonder where Ken and Makoto went off to, then."
Anne gave him a light push before wagging a finger at him. "Quit being so nosy, Ren. What they get up to is their business."
She then put both hands on her hips, her lips forming an adorable pout.
"Besides, do you really want to talk about our friends… when tonight should be about us?"
"You're right." Ren drew her into his arms, bending his head to kiss her forehead. "So, my lady, what do you have a hankering to eat?"
"Anything," Anne answered readily.
Ren kissed her cheek. "I'll see what I can do."
After digging through the fridge, Ren found the ingredients for Leblanc curry. It wasn't long before the rich aroma of curry filled the air, making Anne give a satisfied sigh.
Anne gave him a playful smile. "It really is a perk, dating someone who's an awesome cook."
Ren just grinned, setting down the platter in front of her, before leaning in to kiss her cheek. "I try."
Her answering giggle was like music to Ren's ears. He loved her laugh, how it was always filled with unbridled joy. It always cheered him up to hear it.
But even so, a thought nagged at him.
"Shouldn't I tell her?"
But at the same time, he didn't want to hurt her further. Especially right after they lost Morgana.
"Ren?"
Ren snapped to attention and he forced a smile to his lips.
"Sorry, I'm just… I don't think it's even fully sunk in yet… that we won."
Liar…
Anne bit her lip, looking down for a second. "I mean… that's fair. But we totally kicked ass! This Christmas was really crazy, huh? Though it's too bad that they didn't put on the full Christmas display. It's super pretty."
"Not as pretty as you, though," Ren said immediately.
Anne giggled. "Oh, stop!"
Ren just laughed before sliding into the seat opposite of her. "So… did you do anything special for Christmas before then? Or did you just admire the lights?"
"Well…" Anne took a bite of curry before she answered. "I know it might sound a little weird but I celebrated Christmas differently when I was a kid. My dad grew up in America, you know. New York City, to be exact. His dad's side of the family immigrated to America a couple generations before. But when my grandpa and nana got married, they decided to celebrate Christmas the American way. They're way big on presents and spending time with the family. It's kinda funny, comparing the different traditions. Like, in America, Montana Fried Chicken isn't what you have for Christmas dinner. They're big on stuffed turkey."
"MFC is the best though!" Ren protested.
Anne giggled. "It's how they do it there."
"But I didn't know your dad was Japanese American," Ren commented. "So you still got family in America, then?"
"I mean… I guess you could say that." Anne's lips pursed. "Dad's an only child though. But Grandpa had siblings who married and had kids and those kids grew up to have kids too. I've met them… once? Twice, maybe? That was back when we lived in New York City before we packed up to go live in Paris. We didn't stay in America that long. Maybe a year, if that."
"A well-traveled woman," Ren said in a teasing voice.
Anne stuck her tongue out at him. "I guess you could say that. So, what about you? Have you gotten to travel anywhere, Ren?"
Ren shook his head. "Nah. I pretty much knew only Shimoda before coming here."
Anne's eyes widened at that before her expression softened. She then reached out, squeezing his hand resting on top of the table.
"I guess that means we'll have to go have our own experiences. Hawaii's on the top of the list if I remember right," she said with a wink.
Ren swallowed subtly; he could only hope that Anne didn't hear him.
There would be none of that… he would never get to see her again, after this…
"That sounds great, Anne," Ren murmured, faking yet another smile. "I can't wait."
Even more lies.
"But first, we gotta take care of this school year, right?" he asked.
Anne sighed. "Ugh… don't remind me. And we have another stupid test to worry about before the school year ends!"
"Hey, it's easier on us than the third-years," Ren said. "They have to worry about entrance exams."
For a moment, his mind couldn't help but wonder, thinking of his friends' futures. Haru and Yusuke would end up together… in the future, maybe. Probably in the more distant future, given that Yusuke had his… moments. Would Ken and Makoto eventually get married?
He could see Ryuji pursuing something sport-related, getting married, and having a few kids. Probably would spoil them rotten. He'd never be able to say no to them.
And Anne… She would pursue her dream, be a shining light to everyone who saw her…
It just saddened Ren that he wouldn't get to see it.
"But ugh, enough school talk!" Anne declared. "Come on, it's present time!"
Ren hid a smile. "Someone's feeling greedy."
Anne scowled before kicking at his shin.
"Christmas is all about giving to the ones you love. And you're the one I love the most…" she said with a small pout.
"Even more than Shiho?" Ren couldn't help but feel shocked.
"Well… the way I love Shiho is different," Anne admitted. "But you're both super important to me. But come on, Ren!"
"Okay, okay, I'm coming."
As he slid out of the seat, Anne grabbed his wrist and dragged him upstairs. Once they were seated again, Anne handed a present with her usual bright smile.
It was a box covered with shiny red wrapping paper with a snowflake pattern, tied together with a silver ribbon. After glancing at his girlfriend's shining eyes, Ren started to unwrap it.
Inside the box was a pair of fuzzy black earmuffs.
Oh wow… He remembered idly mentioning to Anne that his ears got awfully cold and that he had misplaced his earmuffs. He was going to replace them eventually but this was…
He couldn't believe that she remembered that.
"S-So?" Anne asked, suddenly nervous.
"They're perfect, Anne," Ren breathed out, fitting the earmuffs over his head.
They were so warm too. And fitted perfectly.
"I'm glad." Anne laughed softly.
Ren draped an arm around her waist, giving her a squeeze. "I only mentioned it once. I'm surprised you remembered…"
Anne stuck her tongue at him. "Hey, I pay attention when it's you."
Ren bent his head, kissing the tip of her nose. "Good to know that I'm in your thoughts."
Anne gave him a light shove. "Well, duh! I mean… it's you, Ren. You're one of my best friends, along with my boyfriend. I just… I dunno what I'd do without you…"
Anne's expression fell and she bit her lip.
"Sometimes I would lie awake, thinking about what happen if the plan failed. I think… the idea of losing you… never getting to see you again scares me more than dying."
Fuck.
What was he supposed to say to that?
He couldn't laugh it off like usual. Not with the guilt gnawing away at him. God this was…
"Ren? S-Sorry, I didn't mean to get all gloomy, I just—"
Ren bit his lip, giving her hand a squeeze.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
He raised his head to meet his girlfriend's eyes. Instead of confusion, he saw… resignation.
"I knew it," she whispered. "You are hiding something from me, aren't you?"
"Anne, I—" Ren then closed his mouth.
He had no defense to this. But how could he even begin to explain about this?
"D-Don't you trust me?" Anne whispered. "After everything we've been through, I thought you could tell me anything."
"I… I…"
Anne sighed, shaking her head. Ren's heart sank as he took in how disappointment had dulled her eyes.
"I think… I should go." Anne's voice shook horribly as she stood up.
"Anne please…"
"Ren, don't make this harder than it has to be. I love you. With everything that I am. I would tell you anything." Anne's eyes then glimmered with tears.
Ren hated to see anyone cry. But he thought it was the worst when Anne cried. He had only seen her shed tears twice. Both times had been when she had felt utterly alone. And it pained Ren to think that Anne felt similarly, because of pain that he had inflicted on her.
"It just hurts me that you won't do the same," Anne said softly.
She turned to go.
Panic spiked inside Ren. He had already lost Morgana. And… Anne was about to walk out, like this. It was more than he could bear.
"Anne, wait!"
Ren pulled her into his arms, hugging her tight.
"Anne, please… stay with me tonight," Ren begged, unable to keep his voice from shaking.
His secret was burning him up on the inside. He wanted so badly to tell her, but… he couldn't. He didn't want to shatter her heart in a million pieces.
But even still… would it be so bad if he was selfish, just this once?
"I know… I'm being selfish. I know I hurt you by hiding this from you. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But please… let me be selfish, just for tonight. I need you…"
Anne stiffened in his arms. "Will you explain what's bothering you?"
Ren's arms tensed around her.
"In the morning," he said. "I swear."
Anne then took in a shuddering breath.
"Then… I'll stay with you. But Ren… please. No more secrets."
"I'm sorry," Ren whispered.
Anne then pulled herself out of his arms.
"I don't want your apology. Just… be honest with me in the future. That's all I ask."
Ren forced himself to nod.
"I will."
He was a liar. And a coward.
But he was just glad that he could have one more night with Anne in his arms…
Sae stuck out like a sore thumb. She idly sipped at her glass of wine, listening with one ear as Aragaki's associates talked amongst themselves. They had gone to one of Kirijo-san's buildings. It had been stocked with food and supplies so it wasn't long until Iori had broken out the wine.
But Sae was sitting in one of the loveseats, sipping her wine and watching Aragaki and his friends.
Everyone else here were friends… and where did that leave her? Why did she allow herself to be talked into this?
"Maybe because the one person you thought was on your side turned out to be a liar and a murderer," a snide voice whispered.
Sae shook her head, trying to push Akechi-kun out of her mind. No, she couldn't think about that. And… she found herself unsettled by him regardless.
And… her secret was gnawing at her. Everyone thought it was over.
They would… hate her, wouldn't she?
"Niijima-san?"
Sae started before her grip on her wine glass slipped. But then hands reached out, steadying them so only a few drops of wine landed on Sae's lap.
"Whoops, sorry, didn't mean to startle you." Minako-san—she had insisted on it, given that calling her by her last name would be confusing with her husband also being present—gave a weak chuckle. "You okay? You looked so far away."
"I, ah… I'm fine." Sae felt her cheeks flush out of embarrassment as she set down the glass. She then pressed a hand against her forehead, forcing a genial smile to her lips. "My apologies, it's just… it's been a long night."
Minako-san nodded. "Yeah, we've had these kinds of situations before but… man, tonight was a doozy. It was kinda… weird witnessing this kind of thing again."
"Mm-hm…" Sae gave a nod.
Minako-san just cocked her head. "Seriously, is everything okay?"
"N-Nothing's wrong. I just—" Sae sighed. "I suppose I feel out of place here. It's, ah, it's been a while since I've attended such a gathering like this."
Minako-san blinked. "How long?"
"Ah… perhaps two years?"
Probably longer if she was honest…
But then Minako-san reached out, patting her arm. "Aw, it's okay! I mean, Aki spent two years walking the earth, so to speak."
"I—what?"
"Oi, Mina-tan, you planning on giving Niijima-san our life stories tonight?!" Iori shouted at her.
Minako-san just gave a sly grin. "Oh, I'm saving that for a little down the road!"
Iori just barked with laughter, shaking his head. Then his phone suddenly went off and his face absolutely lit up. Minako-san giggled as he jogged off towards the bedrooms, presumably for some quiet for the call.
"His wife?" Sae guessed.
"Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner!" Minako-san said with a laugh. "Their first anniversary is in a few months. Junpei had a bunch of things planned for Christmas but… it happens. There will always be next Christmas. I'm just glad the kids were able to squeeze in a little time though."
It took all of Sae's willpower to maintain a straight face. As if she didn't feel bad enough about what she asked Ren to do…
"I'm… glad as well," she managed to get out.
"Now say it without looking like you're swallowing a lemon," she said with a laugh, her eyes sparkling with repressed humor. Then she looked thoughtful. "I thought you had lightened up about Ken-kun and Makoto-chan dating, though?"
"Well, I—"
Sae coughed, clearing her throat. So, she thought that Sae was in a strange mood because of Makoto and Amada-kun leaving, did she? She wasn't quite sure how to explain herself out of this but she wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.
"...It's still just strange for me," Sae said after a moment. "I never had much interest in dating myself personally. So… hearing about Makoto and Amada-kun from Ren-kun of all people was—"
She barely stopped herself from wincing. No, she shouldn't think of Ren now! She coughed.
"...It was shocking."
Minako-san just cocked her head. "Well… I guess that's true. But I heard allll about how much Makoto-chan wanted to help you. To save you. You… have a second chance. Don't waste it, yeah?"
She gave a bittersweet smile at that.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to be a downer. I'm just… I'm just thinking about my brother a lot lately. Especially after tonight."
"I beg your pardon?"
Minako-san just shrugged. "He, um… he died when we were in high school. I still miss him, even more so now that I have a family waiting for me now."
Sae bit her lip. "It's… okay to still miss him."
She hadn't realized how much she had shut her feelings out. She had been so angry at her father. For going out that night, only to be suddenly ripped from both her and Makoto. It had been easier to be angry at the circumstancesthan to grieve.
Minako-san smiled softly. "Thank you, Niijima-san. Sometimes… I have to remind myself of that."
"But ah… I didn't realize you were a mother," Sae said.
Minako-san's eyes shone. "I had Kiyo last month. It's been such hard work taking care of her… but I also love it at the same time. You should see Aki with her though—he absolutely adores her."
"Your husband is a cop, correct?" Sae asked. "Aren't you worried about his presence in… Kiyoko's life?"
"Her full name is Kiyomi, sorry about that." Minako-san's expression grew serious and she bit her lip. "As for that… I guess there will be instances where it'll be tough for Aki. But he's promised that he's going to try his damn hardest to be there for Kiyo and… well, any kids we have down the road. It's important—to the both of us."
"So you plan on having more?" Sae asked.
"At least one more, but I think three in total is a good number." Minako-san then looked up at Sae. "What about you, Niijima-san?"
"Me?" Sae couldn't help but feel flustered. "W-Well, I… I don't exactly have many prospects."
There was that rather irritating forensics scientist who always thought it was so amusing to flirt with her but it was all in jest.
"But would you like to?" Minako-san pressed.
Sae couldn't help but feel flustered. "P-Perhaps one day. If the opportunity is there."
Akihiko-san suddenly came up to them, wrapping an arm around Minako-san.
"Come on, Mina, haven't you done enough interrogating for one day?" he asked, a teasing edge to it.
"It's not interrogating, just getting to know Niijima-san!" Minako-san objected. "Just because you can clam up around strangers still doesn't mean I have to."
"You talk enough for the both of us anyways," Akihiko-san retorted.
Minako-san just laughed before waving her hand at him, making the ring on her hand sparkle under the light.
"But you didn't have to ask me to marry you, then," she said teasingly.
Akihiko-san just bent down, kissing her temple. "It was the best decision I ever made."
As they smiled at each other, Sae took the opportunity to slip away. She felt a tad light-headed though. Perhaps some water would do her some good.
But as she approached the kitchen, she heard voices. She could see Iori and Takeba-san talking, both looking rather serious.
"Yuka-tan… come on." Iori's voice turned chiding. "I know you better than that. Something's bugging you."
Takeba-san sighed, folding her arms over her chest. "Sorry, I just… You can't tell anyone about this. Especially Minako."
"I'm listening." Iori's voice became serious.
"It's…" Takeba-san sighed, shaking her head. "While we were protecting the civilians, I… saved Ren-kun's father. I dunno the details, but it seems that he and his parents are kinda… estranged. And then they ran off right away after the chaos started to die down…"
"I mean, Ken mentioned something along the lines that the entire town turned against Ren." Iori gave a small sigh, one of sympathy. "Poor kid. He's been through the wringer."
"I know…" Takeba-san sighed too, wrapping an arm around herself. "I-I wanted to tell him before he left with Anne-chan, but after losing someone so important to him… I couldn't. I couldn't add to his burden."
Sae squeezed her eyes shut. She hated this. She hated that it had to come to this.
But the alternative was worse.
And yet… telling herself this wouldn't stop the guilt from clawing at her. Everyone had been so kind to her… But they would absolutely hate her once the news broke out.
And Sae hated that was the case…
"You're leaving already, Niijima?"
Sae smiled weakly. "It's past ten already. Thank you for the hospitality but I think it is best that I head home now."
Kirijo-san nodded, looking thoughtful. "I see…"
"Niijima."
Sae turned to see Aragaki approaching.
"Just let me know if Ken's phone is dead or something. I don't mind if he's too tired from everything tonight and would rather stay there for the night, but I would rather know," he said flatly. "If it's okay with you anyhow."
Sae pursed her lips before nodding. "I will let you know. Good night."
The others called out goodbyes to her and she gave one last wave before stepping out.
It was nearly eleven by the time Sae had reentered the apartment. She couldn't help but notice the light in the living room was still on as she entered.
Makoto and Amada-kun were curled up together on the couch. The TV was on, some kind of credits rolling. Makoto's cheek was pressed against Amada-kun's torso, their limbs tangled together.
It seemed innocent enough and they looked so peaceful…
Sae closed her eyes as a fresh wave of guilt hit her. She didn't want to do this—she didn't want to condemn Ren-kun to a life in prison. Not after everything he had endured… he deserved peace like this.
But what other choice did she have? Akechi-kun was nowhere to be found, not that she expected anyone could find him. It was a shock to see him show up when he saved her, but he was gone as quickly as he appeared. He wouldn't stick around. Probably halfway to some other country to hide by now. They needed someone to confess and testify to put Shido away for good.
Ren-kun was the best candidate for the job after Akechi-kun.
"I'm sorry," Sae said quietly. "You think everything's over but…"
She swallowed hard and her eyes stung with unshed tears.
"Forgive me… it's for your sakes that this must be done."
Sunday, December 25th, 2016
How do you fall asleep, knowing that just in a few hours you would be turning yourself into the police? Ren was wide awake, an arm loosely draped around Anne.
Anne's soft breathing was soothing but only to a certain degree. Ren sighed, looking out of the window. The sun was starting to peek out, faint light streaming through the small window. The morning light made Anne's skin glow, her hair gleam.
Ren loved her hair so much. He loved running his fingers through it, burying his face in her soft, thick locks. He reached out, stroking it for a moment.
He was going to miss this. Holding her in his arms like this. Ryuji had teased him about Anne sleeping over so much, but he also just adored the intimacy.
His heart just ached, thinking about it. He couldn't help but wish for more time. And… he regretted, that he wasn't able to give Anne one last night of happiness before he had to go.
But he had to do this…
He couldn't take that away or his friends' future. He couldn't be selfish. It was what was right, to make sure that Shido got what he deserved.
There was no other choice. He had to protect everyone. Even if they were angry in the beginning, he hoped that they would understand the choice Ren made.
But… it was so hard. So hard. He didn't want to walk away from Anne.
Was this how… Minato-san felt? His friends thinking that they were safe. His girlfriend looking forward to building a future with him.
He… never realized how much he had wanted that, until now. To be able to build a future with Anne…
How could he even begin to explain his choice? He could just imagine everyone's reactions. It killed him to think of hurting his friends, but what alternative was there?
But at the same time… he promised Anne that he would tell her.
As he gazed out the window, he couldn't help but recall how Ken had told him that Minato-san had written everyone in SEES letters before his passing.
It was… better than nothing. At least he could say his last goodbyes to them. But as he shifted to get up, Anne grabbed onto his arm and clutching it close.
"Ren… please…" she whispered before a tear trickled down her cheek. "Don't go…"
Ren winced. What was she dreaming about?
As he looked down at her, his heart ached. He knew… he was going to miss her. So much. Her gorgeous smile, the scent of her tropical perfume, and… the way she just loved him so fiercely. He felt that he would've just broken in the past few months, if it wasn't for Anne to remind him that things were going to be okay.
"Anne… I'm going to miss you."
He stared down at her, laying down once more and drawing her into his arms. He hugged her close, his throat constricting painfully as he choked back the tears.
He let himself hold Anne for several more minutes before reluctantly climbing out of bed. He drew the blankets around her before going to sit at his desk. He pulled out a sheet of paper.
He wrote the first letter to Sojiro, but he started to cross out words. He felt uncertain about what he wrote halfway in, so he ended up having to write a second draft. He took in a shuddering breath as he folded the piece of paper, reaching for another sheet to write his letter for Futaba.
He was about halfway to his letter to Haru when he started to get misty-eyed.
Damn. Damn. How could Minato-san do this without breaking down?
Ren was grateful that he was a quiet crier because he didn't want to wake up Anne but… holy crap it hurt. He could feel a crack in his heart forming as he wrote his goodbye letter to Ryuji.
Anne's letter… was last. He poured his heart out, begging her to forgive him for lying to her. For not being able to tell the truth. But he thanked her for loving him… and he told her to move on from him. Someone deserved to bask in her love… even if it wasn't him.
And now he couldn't stop the tears from flowing.
They sprinkled the edge of the paper. Ren thought for a moment to grab another paper, but… what was the point? He was just going to keep crying…
"I learned a long time ago that you should take what happiness you can. You never know when it'll be cut off suddenly."
Ken's words to him when he tried to encourage Ren to ask out Anne back in July suddenly echoed in his mind.
"I wish I had known how right you were, Ken," Ren mumbled to himself.
He hadn't understood Ken's words in their entirety… until now.
Ren sighed, rubbing at his eyes. It was morning now… Sae would be here soon.
He folded the letters, piling them together. He quietly got dressed in his school uniform. Anne was still asleep. Her cheeks were flushed pink, and she was mumbling something to herself in her sleep. Ren bent down, taking the moment to brush his lips against Anne's forehead. It was a feather light kiss… but it was the last he'd ever get to kiss Anne like that.
He tried to burn Anne in his memory… before he walked out of her life for good.
"Goodbye, Anne."
Happy New Year's, everyone! I hope you enjoyed the chapter. We're now in the homestretch. Next chapter will focus on the aftermath of Ren turning himself in along with the efforts to free him. And 1 or 2 chapters will focus on Ren's release and everything that comes along with it! I've got some good plans for the next couple chapters and I hope you'll enjoy the rest of the ride ;)
The Shuann Christmas date panned out a bit differently and it's all thanks to my wonderful beta angelrin89's idea. She originally planned on using it for her own fic when it followed P5 vanilla but since then she's decided to make it a Royal fic so she felt the idea wouldn't fit. She allowed me to adopt the idea, so to speak, and I hope I did her idea justice! You'll see more focus on Anne's reaction to Ren turning himself in the next chapter hehe.
But I hoped you enjoyed the chapter! Would love to hear your thoughts on it!