Psych: Solid Steel
Disclaimer: That I'm not telling the truth, I know, you know, they just don't have any proof...
A/N: It's been a minute. My apologies! I finished law school and then life started doing its own thing. But I definitely intend to finish all of the stories I've started. Thank you all so much for the reviews! They are very kind :) Here is the last installment!
Shawn's throat hurt. It was like someone had taken a giant sword and rammed it down his throat just to see if he could become the next Freakshow star, maybe even outdo Asia Ray. Groggily, he tried to piece together everything that had happened. The crazy lady. The knife. Gus. Not being able to breathe. Gus again. Even Lassiter at some point.
Everything was really clouded. His dad and Juliet having a conversation? He couldn't recall what they said, but he could remember someone taking his hand. The contact had dispelled some of the dark despair around his heart.
For some reason, the comfort of the contact gave him hope. Something to hold onto. The darkness that had been closing in on him was pushed back by the realization that maybe his life was worth living. Sure, he'd made mistakes. He'd lied over and over again to the people he worked with, or at least didn't tell the whole truth.
Part of him wondered how it was his fault when they didn't believe that he had a photographic memory and had been trained by the most disciplined individual in all of the world. When they'd threatened him with incarceration and pretending to be psychic was the only way they'd believe he was innocent, he'd thought he had no other choice.
Then it had become an opportunity to do police work without all the structure and hassle of wearing the uniform. He was also still rebelling a little against his dad's desire for him to be a cop. He'd thought he'd finally found a way to compromise, to still be goofy and fun while also appeasing his dad and solving cases.
But still they always seemed to underestimate and dismiss him, always taking his intentional lightening of dark moods as reckless disregard for the seriousness of the situation. His determination to have fun as a selfish and childish character flaw.
He could still remember the day when Juliet started to believe he could actually help and then the trust she placed in him after. He'd never let her down, he'd always gotten the bad guy and he cherished the fact that she believed in him. But he should have told her the truth. She of all people would have understood. The horrible thing was that he'd had a chance to tell and had frozen. He hadn't believed in her like she'd believed in him, and it had cost him their relationship.
He still felt stupid for giving her his jacket, the fact that that was the catalyst for her finding out really killed him. He should have told her long before they got there. If he had, perhaps that interaction would have just been a happy interaction and a scolding that he needed to be more careful.
A memory tugged faintly at him. Something he'd heard but hadn't heard. He struggled to recall what had been spoken when his hand had been grabbed. Something that shifted what he'd felt. Something that made him want to regain consciousness. Soft words that promised a future.
With renewed determination, he decided to fight the darkness and dejected mindset. He knew how he felt about Juliet, and even if she hated him right now, he would show her it had been real. That he hadn't lied about what he felt for her. Maybe they'd even be able to laugh about this one day. With his award-winning personality, she couldn't stay mad at him forever.
It was time to get back on the horse, so to speak. To fight to live, to see his family. To see Juliet. To even see Lassiter.
"Shawn." Gus said, poking Shawn's cheek, "Shawn." Another poke, "Shaaaaaawwwwwwnnnnnnn." Gus whined, poking harder. Still no response. With a huff, he stood from his chair, eyeing another part of Shawn's anatomy that might get more of a response. Just as he got closer, a hand smacked his.
"Knock it off, Guster." Lasiter said, his no-nonsense tone increasing Gus's need for Shawn's off-the-wall and annoying witty comebacks. "O'Hara will be back soon and if there is another bruise on pretty boy, I'll personally clear the floor so there are no witnesses when she shoots you." Straightening and lowering his extended finger, Lasiter stepped back from the bed, a quick expression of sympathy flashing across his face before being masked with a sour expression.
When Lassiter turned to exit, Gus made a face at his back. Shawn had come off the ventilator a few hours ago and all Gus wanted to hear was some stupid remark about sponge baths while Shawn gave an attempt at his best goofy smile.
With a sigh, he sat back down, resigned to waiting more. His head in his hand, he didn't immediately notice when Shawn's hand moved.
"Dude," Shawn said weakly, his voice rough and thin. "Shawn!" Gus yelled, a little too loudly at the glare he got from a nurse walking past the glass wall.
"You're awake!" Gus said, just as excitedly, but a little quieter.
Shawn moaned, his eyes closing, and Gus immediately began looking for the call button, "hold on, let me get the doctor in here," he said, pressing the button and frantically looking for another nurse or someone else outside the room.
"Ice c-chips?" Shawn whispered, blinking his eyes open, a slight headache making itself known, and Gus spoon fed him a few.
"Wh-what did I mi-miss?" Shawn said weakly, his voice hoarse.
Before Gus could answer, a nurse entered with a doctor on her heels.
"Mr. Spencer, how are you feeling?" The Doctor asked, grabbing a chart and looking at some readouts.
"L-like I've b-been shish-kabobbed," Shawn complained softly, his voice sounding raw, but Gus was grinning like he'd won the spelling bee.
"That's to be expected," The Doctor said with a hint of amusement. "I'm just going to check a few things and then you can get some more rest."
Gus watched closely as the Doctor reviewed the various instruments, IVs, and outputs. When the Doctor finally left, Shawn's eyes were at half-mast as exhaustion pulled at him. Gus took a seat beside Shawn's bed, his expression turning serious.
"I...I didn't.. We thought.." Gus stumbled, trying to find the words to say how sorry he was for not realizing sooner what had happened, for not being able to stop the crazy chick. The moment had been playing non-stop in his head and he was extremely grateful that he didn't have Shawn's photogenic memory. A flash of his hands covered in Shawn's blood choked him up and Gus whimpered as the fear and grief and shock hit him again.
"Hey, m-man," Shawn said, his voice straining as he sensed Gus' distress and exerted the remaining energy he had to comfort his friend, "It's o-okay." He cleared his throat and winced when it caused other things to protest.
"Thanks for b-being there for m-me buddy. You did g-good." Shawn said, his voice scratchy and his eyes intent as his energy flagged. Fighting the exhaustion that was settling over him, he lifted his fist carefully and gave Gus a heartfelt, if tired, smile. Bumping Shawn's fist lightly, Gus smiled back, his eyes watery.
Watching as Shawn gave into the exhaustion, sleep claiming him quickly, Gus fought to control his emotions. His best friend was alive. His best friend would be okay. Relief washing over him, he shot a text to the gang that Shawn had woken up briefly and then settled back to wait for Henry to return with the food he'd run out to get. Checking his watch, Gus noted that Juliet would also be arriving shortly. She'd needed to shower and take care of some things at her home.
With an exhale, Gus let some of the stress and worry he'd been shouldering melt away.
This time the darkness wasn't quite so oppressive. He just felt like he was floating. His body didn't ache as much, his head didn't hurt. His heart felt lighter, like a weight had been lifted. As memories flashed across his mind, he noted the various details that stood out, the triumph he'd felt when Elin had asked for his help. He'd been surprised but had honestly believed they'd gotten through to her.
Flashes of Juliet's face, her walking away, the blood on his fingers, the pain. Then the despair hit him, the defeat. The loneliness. Just as the weight seemed to be piling back on, the darkness swallowing him, he felt a warm touch.
Struggling against his own mind, the touch beckoned him to consciousness.
Fighting to pull himself out of the depths of where his mind had gone, he faintly heard a voice softly speaking.
"Shawn, relax, you're okay."
A woman's voice. Juliet's voice.
He could hear beeping as his heart pounded in his chest. He had to see her, had to let her know how sorry he was, how wrong he had been for not telling her sooner.
"Shhh, Shawn, breathe, it's okay." She said, her hand smoothing his hair away from his face. Shawn could feel the sheets sticking to him, his sweat making him uncomfortable as his brain held him trapped in the darkness. His head started to pound and he felt like he'd been running a marathon with Ryan Hall.
"Hey," Juliet said, as his heartrate continued to increase, his breathing becoming labored, "Open your eyes, Shawn."
She watched as he struggled to fight his way to consciousness, little details in his face giving way the effort it was taking for him to force his way through the exhaustion of the last few days and return to consciousness.
"Look at me, Shawn," she said, her heartbeat speeding up as well, "I need you to look at me."
With a flutter, his hazel irises became visible and she moved her hand down to his cheek, "Good. You're doing good, Shawn."
"J-jules?" he breathed, his eyes briefly closing again.
"I'm here," she said, her eyes starting to water, "I'm not going anywhere, Shawn."
"I-I'm sor-ry. For lyin-ng," His breath hitched, "for w-waiting so.. so l-long to t-tell you."
A tear fell onto her hand where she was cupping his face, and she felt her own tears begin to fall.
"I-I didn't mean to m-make you feel like your d-dad made y-you f-feel, J-Jules, I sh-should have trust-ted you," Shawn lifted his hand to her face, wiping her tears away.
"I l-love you, Jules," he said, whispering her name, "b-but I understand if y-you can n-never trust me again." He let his hand fall, his eyes closing, unable to see their broken relationship reflected in her eyes.
Collecting herself, Juliet stared at the man in front of her, her heart aching as she was hit with compassion for his position. Henry had filled her in on the circumstances leading to the deceit, giving her some understanding for why Shawn made the decisions he did. She wished he had trusted her, but she also realized that maybe she hadn't been worthy of that trust, at least not at first. If she had found out early on, she wasn't sure she would have allowed the farce to continue.
But now, now she was in a different place. The consequences of spilling the beans more of a price than she thought Shawn should have to pay.
With a gentle sigh, she said, "I forgive you, Shawn," and found his hand with her other hand as she smoothed a thumb across his cheek.
With a startled expression, Shawn opened his eyes and looked at her.
"I love you too, Shawn Spencer," Juliet said, a soft smile lighting up her expression, "and I'm not going anywhere."
Moving closer, she kissed him gently and he kissed her back.
"We definitely have some stuff to work through, but I'm willing to put in the effort if you are," she said softly, moving a few inches away from his face.
"I'll do whatever it takes," Shawn breathed, their lips again coming together.
"I'm glad solid steel is so hard to hurt," Juliet breathed with a soft laugh, kissing him again.
"Gee, guys. Get a room," Henry said from the doorway, a big smile on his face as he saw his son awake and things going well with Juliet.
"I h-have a r-room, d-dad," Shawn deadpanned, before smiling back.
As Henry moved into the room to pat Shawn on the shoulder, Gus and Lassiter could be heard coming down the hallway with Marlowe in tow. Their voices loud as they bickered about some inane subject.
"Shawn!" Gus shouted when he entered the room, nurses hushing him from the hallway.
"Spencer." Lassiter said, his face slightly less stern as he followed Gus in, "Glad you've rejoined the land of the living."
"We were so worried about you," Marlowe said, her face kind and sincere.
With a nod, Shawn smiled tiredly at his friends, his family.
"G-glad to be b-back. 10/10 d-do not recom-mend the stab-by experien-nce," Shawn said, his head tilting to the side as he rested it against his pillows.
"The doctor says you'll make a full recovery, although I am sure we'll be fine if you spend a few months away from the precinct," Lassiter inserted.
"Lassiter!" Juliet said sharply, but her tone betrayed her amusement.
Laughing, they all, even Lassiter, enjoyed the witty conversation that soon started between Gus and Shawn, whose eyes kept closing.
Henry took up Shawn's defense against Gus, Lassiter voicing his own opinion as Juliet and Marlowe laughed, and Shawn fell asleep to the voices of his family, his heart content and the world righted again.
The End.