Chapter 15: With Extra Crunch
Neon City, The SNaXX Dimension, 3023
"…And when I saw that he was following after me, that he wanted to go with me, I… Well, I guess I just, y'know, decided to go along with it," Garnet summarised. "We got our map, set out for Wumpa Jungle and reached the edge of it by nightfall. We set up a makeshift campsite, I made a little fire and then we sat gazing up at the stars before dozing off for the night. It was nice, not least because we'd finally made it to a warmer climate. North may be built for sub-zero temperatures, but his internal frost or whatever seems to keep him happy enough outside of the tundra. Can't really picture him stretched out on a beach towel with sunglasses on and one of those metal tanning sheet thingies in hand, though. I dunno, what d'you think of that idea, big guy?" she asked teasingly, turning to North and grinning at him. The Ratcicle just gave a dismissive shrug, letting out a little grunt as he did so, and then took a long, slurping sip of his mocha. Garnet and the Bandicoots chuckled knowingly.
"Come on, get to the part where you met the other versions of Crash and me!" Coco pleaded. Everyone stared at her. "What?" she said. "The anticipation's been killing me for days now! I may be the smart cookie here, but that doesn't mean I have unlimited patience!"
"Okay, okay!" Garnet said, laughing. "As it happens, I was just getting to that part. "Not long after North and I set out the next day, we reached the shoreline of Wumpa Island, where the most lush plant life grows and the water is crisp and clear - none of the frigid, black depths of the Frozen Coast, and definitely no killer whales, thank the Ancients," she said, shuddering at the thought. "Had enough of those creatures for one lifetime."
Coco let out a little whine of impatience, visibly fidgeting on the couch cushion she sat upon. Crash and Tawna exchanged glances; maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to let Coco drink coffee. Brainy as she was, she was still the youngest of the group, and therefore the most likely to get worked up from a caffeine intake. Garnet seemed to notice as well, for she cleared her throat loudly, looking a little uneasy.
"Okay, so picture this: North and I emerge from a cave at the island's edge, blinking in the harsh sunlight. Before us is what would be a twenty foot drop into the shallows if not for the great metal structure laid out before us. Coated in metallic blue, the back of this giant robot has given way to a series of wooden planks which—"
"Giant robot?" Coco exclaimed excitedly. "There was a giant robot involved? Did you fight it? Did it kill you? Did you die?" she asked wildly, scrambling closer to Garnet until the two were almost snout-to-snout, a wild look in the brainy marsupial's eyes.
"Okay, that's enough coffee for you," Tawna said, reaching over and plucking the half-empty mug from Coco's hand, much to her surprise and protest. "I think we need a break from story time while Skippy here burns off her excess energy," she stated, causing a chorus of dismayed groans to ring out throughout the apartment's living room.
"Aww, but she was just getting to the good part!" Coco complained. "Come on, Tawna, I'm not that hyper! I mean, it's not like I wanna leap up and race around the coffee table fifty times! …Actually, yeah, that does sound pretty fun," she admitted, clearly contemplating the idea.
"Aaaaand that clinches it," Tawna declared, getting to her feet, soon taking Coco by the arm. "C'mon, Coco. We're gonna go do what I used to do with my world's Coco whenever she hit the energy drink."
"What's that?" Coco dared to ask.
Tawna smiled slyly. "You'll see."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Coco screamed as she rocketed through the transport tube at what felt like a million miles per hour, the great suction pulling her up and down and all around, the sights of Neon City all around her through the clear, thick glass. The bandicoot girl then giggled madly. "Ohmygosh, this is the BEST! WHEEEEEEE!" she declared joyously, stretching her arms froward, her ponytail whipping about behind her head as the great suction continued to pull her along.
Down below, Crash, Tawna, Garnet and North sat around a table at the cafe the Bandicoots had visited the other day, watching as Coco zipped about in the tube overhead like a bullet launching from the barrel of a gun. North tried to follow the bandicoot girl's movements for several moments, but he ultimately had to shut his eyes and turn away with a distressed grunt, the Titan getting dizzy just from watching the spectacle. He was glad that he was just slightly too big to fit into one of those transport tubes. No, if he were to go in one of those things at all, he'd be doing it from the safe confines of Garnet's jeans pocket.
"I know how you feel, Big Blue," Tawna told the Ratcicle. "I once went on a ride like that at a theme park and I… threw up. While I was still in the tube, no less, and there was nowhere for the vomit to go except… right back into my face." She shook her head. "Not a good day."
"Ugh!" Crash exclaimed, pulling a face at the mental image that had just been put in his head by Tawna's words. Tawna chuckled.
"Heh. Yeah, my world's Crash wasn't impressed, either, and my world's Coco didn't stop giving me heaps for three days straight. She was a fine one to talk, though; I still remember the first time I took her on a rollercoaster with me. She was so scared that I think she might've actually wet herself."
"Tawna, please, can you not?" Garnet exclaimed. "I don't wanna think about bodily fluids while I'm waiting on a toasted sandwich."
"Huh? Oh, right. Sorry," Tawna said, looking a little embarrassed. "I was always kind of forward with my world's Crash and Coco, and they were forward with me in turn. Sometimes I forget that they're… not around anymore." The bandicoot woman let out a sad sniff. Crash reached over and gave her a comforting pat on the shoulder, causing the brash adventurer to smile. "Thanks, little bro," she said softly. Crash just grinned at her in his toothy, ever-earnest way and she pulled him into a friendly headlock.
"Not around, but not truly gone, either," Garnet chimed in, placing a hand on Tawna's own and looking at her with deep, serious blue eyes. "They'll always be alive in you, T."
Tawna stared at the bat girl in surprise, and then she released Crash from his headlock very suddenly and abruptly, causing him to cry out and fall to the ground in comical fashion. "What's this 'T' business?" she demanded half-seriously, raising an eyebrow at Garnet.
"Oh! I, uh…" Garnet started, looking awkward, but then Tawna laughed before leaning over and playfully ruffling the former Brat Girl's purple hair.
"Ah, it's fine… 'Rista," she said cheekily. Her eyes then developed a look of mild awe as she continued to run her fingers through the bat's hair. "Oh, wow, your hair is really soft… and kinda silky."
"H-Hey! Hands off!" Garnet exclaimed, but she was laughing as she said it. "I just use whatever shampoo the AI in Megumi's shower dumps onto my hair. Smells nice, I'll give it that. Never realised how partial I am to the scent of lilac until I ended up in this dimension."
"The showers in this world have AI systems?" Tawna recited, intrigued. "How are they?"
"Oh, they're, um… fine." Garnet said, feeling her cheeks turning bright red under her facial fur as she averted her gaze for a moment. "I mean, they take a little getting used to, but, uh…"
"Sounds like you've gotten pretty darn used to them," Tawna said in a sly, knowing tone, a decidedly huge smirk on her face.
"Sh-Shut it!" Garnet spluttered, her face turning even redder. "It's not my fault that those robot hands know just how to massage me."
"Ugh, robot hands? Creepy," Tawna declared, no longer intrigued. "Nah, I wouldn't trust 'em. One malfunction and they might suddenly have me by the throat."
"Please don't put scary thoughts like that in my head. I've only recently started to really get used to the shower AI, and I'm still working up the courage to go and check out the local beauty salon. From what Megumi told me, it's basically fully automated."
"Well, then I know what shops I'm staying away from while I'm here," Tawna declared. As she spoke, Coco popped out of the exit point of the nearby transport tube, looking giddy and a little frazzled.
"Whew! Now that was a rush!" she exclaimed as she walked - or rather staggered - over to where her friends sat. "You were right, Tawna, I… I needed that," the brainy marsupial managed breathlessly. "Did you really… used to do that with… your world's Coco?"
Tawna smiled slyly again. "Well, not quite, actually. I usually just took her out for a jog or practiced martial arts with her. Still, the tube worked, didn't it? You feeling less jittery now?"
"Y-Yeah. In fact, I… I think I need a cold drink," Coco said as she sat down next to her brother, Crash having picked himself up off the ground several moments ago.
"No worries; I already ordered you a pink lemonade," Tawna said, causing Coco to glower at her. "I'm kidding! It's actually diet soda," the bandicoot woman assured her, knowing that Coco hated being treated like a silly little girl… even if that's exactly what she was at times.
Right on cue, that muscular bandicoot waiter from the other day, Crunch, came over with the aforementioned drink in one hand, a small plate with a toasted cheese and tomato sandwich on it in the other. "Here you go, folks," he said politely, placing the food and drink on the table. "Oh, hey, it's you guys!" he then exclaimed, recognising his fellow bandicoots. "How'd you go chasin' up that lead on the back alley coffee maker I toldja about?"
"It's not a back alley! It's…!" Garnet started, but then she shook her head, deciding that she probably shouldn't call attention to the fact that she had been selling caffeinated beverages without a permit… and without her roommate's knowledge. "Never mind," she said before pulling the sandwich plate closer, soon chewing tentatively on the corners of the bread before finally savouring the taste of melted cheese and crisp, juicy tomato. "Oh, Snipe quills, that's good!" she murmured, shivering slightly in misplaced pleasure.
"Hey, Crunch," Coco greeted in that unintentionally cheeky way that only a child could manage. "You get that coffee machine up and running yet? If not, I could loan you a wrench… or five."
"Heh. Good one," Crunch said, looking ever-so-slightly uncomfortable; he didn't really know how to talk to kids. "We got it fixed just yesterday, actually. Turns out that a couple o' coffee beans had gotten stuck in the works. Just had to clean the thing out, toss in a fresh round o' beans and we were good to go!"
'Oh, jeez, he's still so hot…' Tawna thought to herself, gazing at Crunch with a lax, dreamy expression on her face, looking almost like she was drunk. 'Kinda dull in terms of personality, though… Eh. I've dated worse.' She then mentally slapped herself. 'Oh, what am I thinking? Dingodile's my guy!'
"Anyhoo, I gotta get back to work," Crunch said. "I'm due for my evaluation next week and, well…" He gave a weak chuckle that just screamed unease, scratching at the back of his head sheepishly as he stood there, averting his gaze. He then turned and headed back over to the cafe's main entrance, soon disappearing inside the building, though not before bumping his head on the top of the door frame.
"Mmm. Mmm!" Garnet positively moaned in contentment as she polished off the last bite of her sandwich. "Oh, that was so good!" she declared. A continuous slurping sound then caught her attention and for a moment, she thought it was North as it had been earlier, but it turned out to be Coco who was the source of the noise this time, the bandicoot girl happily sucking up her drink through a straw.
"Oh! Sorry!" Coco said when she realised what she was doing. "Heh. Old habits die hard, y'know?"
"My world's Coco was no better when it came to table manners," Tawna assured her. "Some days, she'd belch almost as loud as Crash does. Almost."
"BURRRRRRP!" Right on cue, Coco let fly a truly tremendous belch.
"I'm home!" Tawna proclaimed tearfully, leaping up and soon wrapping her arms around the younger female bandicoot. Crash and North just stared on in bewilderment while Garnet just chuckled and turned away.
"And I thought I was a bit of a kook…" she muttered, smirking to herself.
Bandicoot Homestead, Wumpa Jungle, 2008
"Whoa…" Barista murmured in awe as she saw the wreckage of the giant robot strewn out before her and North. Behind her, the Ratcicle gave a soft grunt, sounding just as taken aback by the sight before them.
The bat girl took a cautious step onto the surface of the robot's back, very mindful of the gap between it and the exit of the cave she and her icy cohort had just emerged from. She wondered if this was what it felt like stepping from a station platform onto a train, knowing that if one were to slip, they'd fall down beneath the train and get horrifically battered about once the transport started moving. For Barista, the risk was more along the lines of plummeting into the shallows of the lagoon below, where some pointed rocks awaited - not a pleasant prospect. Once she was safely on the great mass of metal and wood, she let out a breath that she hadn't even realised she'd been holding. North, on his part, marched confidently onto the platform, his longer strides making the gap no issue for him whatsoever.
"Oh, wow. I think this is… What did the other Brat Girls call it? The Doominator?" Barista mused aloud, glancing down at a piece of copper wire that was protruding out from beneath the wooden planks she now walked upon. "They say it was one of Cortex's biggest failures - big in the literal sense. Of course, they only openly called it a failure when the Doctor was out of earshot; he was a bit touchy about the matter." The former minion allowed herself a small smirk at that. "We're failures of his, too, y'know?" she went on, glancing back at North as they walked. "But you know what makes us different to this broken down robot?"
"You're a lot easier to BREAK, fool!" These words were accompanied by a bulky fist of polished, metallic silver, which Barista leapt out of the way of just in time, crying out in alarm. A distinctly muscular bandicoot stood before the defecting evildoers, wearing little more than a pair of camouflage shorts and bulky boots, a furious look in his eye - the one that didn't have a bandage wrapped around it, covering part of his head.
"Holy frick, where did you come from?!" Barista shrieked, her eyes wide. North slammed his palm onto the Doominator's surface, a trail of ice shards springing from the tips of his claws, spreading rapidly towards the metal-armed bandicoot, who swung his steel appendage forward again to meet the ice halfway, shattering it. Clearly, he wasn't taking any chances.
"That all you got, frosty?" the burly marsupial jeered. "Super lame! Need to work out more! Drink some orange juice; vitamin C!"
As North growled and prepared to unleash another round of ice shards, Barista was desperately trying not to panic. 'Gotta do something! Gotta DO something!' she thought to herself. 'What would Alpha do? What would Carbon do?' A proverbial light clicked on inside her head, her eyes widening in realisation. 'Wait, that's it!'
"Playin' the same card twice? Don't be a fool, fool!" the bandicoot bruiser told North, whose trail of ice ended up circling uselessly around the marsupial… or so it seemed at first. The bandicoot's eyes widened when he realised that he was surrounded by a circle of small ice pillars - just enough to box him in, if only momentarily, for he could easily punch his way out of this situation, but before he had a chance to do so, a loud cry caught his attention and he looked up in time to see Barista wildly leaping towards him, her fist raised. He smirked, raising his right arm, the one that wasn't coated in metal, knowing that he didn't need to go all out to swat this annoying little fly away, but that 'little fly' surprised him, for rather than trying to strike him head-on, Barista landed before him just inside the ice ring and ducked low, going for a body blow. She struck the bandicoot's stomach with her fist once, twice, three times… and then she brought her right leg around and quite literally swept her dumbfounded and momentarily winded opponent off his feet. The bat girl then stepped back as the ice ring vanished around her, the shards inexplicably dissipating.
The bandicoot looked up from his sitting position, his eyes moving from the Brat Girl to the Ratcicle, then back to the Brat Girl again. "That weren't no freestyle combo," he said quietly after a long moment, sounding short of breath. "That was a Norris Roundhouse, square an' true!" He narrowed his eyes at Barista suspiciously. "Where'd you learn that, fool?"
"I… I learned it from a bandicoot like you, if you must know," Barista stated firmly, trying to sound even the least bit intimidating as she stood there, her fists still raised, not taking her eyes off the musclebound marsupial. North stood at her side, his claws brandished and emanating an icy aura, the Titan growling threateningly.
"Hmm," the bandicoot mused, slowly getting to his feet. "Just who are you two fools?"
"We're not fools! We're…!" Barista hesitated. She glanced at North out of the corner of her eye, taking in the sight of the red scarf he wore, the one she had given him. She exhaled deeply and lowered her fists. "We're just trying to find our place in this world, on this island, alright? Preferably somewhere away from Cortex, if you catch my drift."
The bandicoot then really took in the sight of Barista. Despite her attempt at bravado, she was clearly terrified, no doubt relying on her Titan cohort for protection. That said, she evidently wasn't all talk - the fact that she had managed to take on the muscular marsupial and successfully subdue him was proof enough of that… even if he wasn't exactly at full strength right now; it was no coincidence that his left eye was bandaged.
"Defectors, huh? Better not be lyin' 'bout that." the bandicoot said warningly. "I've had enough nonsense from Crash today. Darn fool beat me up 'cause he thought I was being mind-controlled… even after he'd already freed me from said mind control! Crazy! Fool needs to chill! Gotta find his zen!"
"You know Crash?" Barista asked, looking hopeful. The muscular bandicoot glared at her suspiciously again and the bat girl faltered. "It's just… I was hoping to meet him, hoping he could help me. Help us, I guess I should say," she corrected herself, gesturing to North, who was still eyeing the bandicoot warily. After a long moment of silently assessing the situation, the bandicoot sighed.
"Alright, I'll play along… for now, but no backstabbin', y'hear? I ain't gonna be caught off guard a second time." He turned his back to the pair. "Name's Crunch, by the way." On that note, he started forward, soon approaching a series of thick metal sheets that sloped downwards along the Doominator's shoulder. He glanced back at the defecting minions just as he reached this downward path. "You comin' or what?"
Barista hesitated for just a moment, exchanging glances with North, and then they both hurried after Crunch, heading down the path towards a small house built into the side of a nearby tree on the edge of the jungle…