He huffed, feeling a bit too high on what he was expecting.
His gorgeous date walking towards him, while he laid on the bed to just kiss relentlessly until they both were bored or tired. This wasn't what he had imagined with being on the low. He still had strong feelings of love her and would wait as much as she needed to process this new relationship.
But oh Agni, seeing her so secure and comfortable gave him a relief he didn't know was disturbed until she opened up.
The kissing quickly became more passionate and desperate, their hands freely exploring each other without much prudence, a contrast to the first time Suki got adventurous and ended his night on a happier note.
His hands were softer than she had remembered on her bare skin, his hand passing over the inside of her tight, his fingers sending tingles of anticipation to what she had suppressed herself for a long time. Their excitement kept growing as their clothes became less relevant into the equation.
She opened her eyes to stare at his shoulder, broad and toned, her hand instinctively reaching out to caress them, squeezing some of them to release the nervousness she had been feeling. Zuko kissed her again, his hand moving to her lips to part them slowly, making Suki draw in a sharp breath.
His hand pushed her down to the bed, her sight fixing on the devious smile he was wearing on his unique face. He licked his thumb and played with the damp folds, teasing her. She sighed relaxing, licking her lips in anticipation.
"How are you feeling?" He asked in a hushed voice, now his thumb taping the base of her apex, the arousal increasing.
Suki could barely mutter a word, trying to soften the noises that came out of her. "I still can get some work"
"We'll see" he replied, opening her legs as he lowered his face. Her knees risen and parted, hanging on his shoulders comfortably. Suki rested on her back with a short moan passing her lips. Both hands were on his head as if he needed any kind of guidance towards his paradise.
Zuko enjoyed himself on her, giving instead of receiving, as he knew that sex was still a hot topic between them, one that was so casually thrown around. He tried to indulge in the primal necessities with her, not take it seriously as he was doubting to ever propose something else again.
The rough pulling on his hair made him more enthusiastic, sucking and licking as if his life depended on it. The grip loosened, prompting Zuko to open his eyes to see at his lover who was frozen.
He returned to his last pace, her singing returning to his ears.
"Wow" Zuko said with a smirk as Suki chest breathed heavier, her eyes shut with a tensed jaw.
"Wow" Suki mocked, unable to move or say anything else. "Wow"
After cleaning himself, Zuko laid down next to Suki who hadn't opened her eyes since hitting her climax. He was sure she was already asleep and thought out loud, lost in his own world.
"I adore seeing you so peaceful, I wonder if one day I can give you that serenity"
Suki wasn't asleep totally, regret started building inside of her over what they had done on the bed. It was consensual and needed; she was completely focused on him and the sparks they made when letting go of their inhibitions were amazing, but thinking of how he would not be more than a simple friend was hurtful-even to her.
Zuko kissed her cheek and cuddled with her, putting his head on her chest. As much as he tried to sleep, his mind was also confused in regards of his feelings: Of course he would love to have her as a girlfriend, then if she said yes…what would happen? Would she be able to deal with the pressure? The constant attacks or political garbage Mai and him have to deal with?
Then it was the other extreme, was she even in love with him? Being intimate and sharing moments because they had the help of the gods to work together wasn't the same as waiting for months with thousands of lands of distance while keeping the same passion and infatuation with another person.
That other had a name and a face, Zuko was stubborn but not stupid: He knew in a way, he was a candidate to her heart but would not be in the lead at all. He had been always the supporting one, the caring, the listener. Never the main interest.
Was it hurtful? It was. Was it something new to him? Not at all. "Maybe I should pop up the question already? Right now? She is already asleep" Zuko pressured himself. "This way I can tell if she loves me or not. If I even got closer to having a place in her heart"
He would never replace Sokka in her heart, that was something written all over her body language with him: While eating, fighting, cuddling or even talking. Both men were different to each other and pulled out the best and worst of her.
"We need to change this situation, we can't pretend to be a couple without feelings involved" Zuko thought strengthening his grip on her, anxious about talking about this with his uncle, whom he had trusted since he discovered love had blossomed inside of him.
It was a well kept secret the constant visits they made to either the kitchen or the secret passages, where most of their subordinates wouldn't think of checking when searching for them.
The stress of forming a new nation from the ground and rehabilitating his own was exhausting and stressful, having to almost split himself from all of the decisions and moves he had the final word of it.
Leaving some of them to his uncle was a smart choice, as suggested by the gaang the first time he almost had a panic attack in front of them. But it also meant the time they shared was shortened even more. The formal letter in front of him with a small dragon seal was a reminder that his time with him was borrowed, his uncle has dreams of his own.
He decided not to open it yet, dreading the worst. His official counselor urged him to look at his wedding plans and how many of his friends he would be having over to the ceremony. Duty, love, peace or dreams?
The guest list was filled with a lot of names he couldn't put a face on: most of the time he was exiled, political and famous names were just that to him…names. Just a small bunch was actually people he recognized and it wasn't a lot to begin with, the same small circle he have always had: his sisters friends (who one was the bride), the war heroes (who had a huge disagreement over one of their own friends) and one he was absolutely clueless on why he was invited.
"Who even eats cabbage?" He thought crossing the merchant out of his list, huffing frustrated.
Two names were missing he specifically asked to be listed: Ursa and Azula. Guilt still ate him time to time after his sister was jailed and then sent to a physic ward, he never thought what had happened to her was so severe until she showed dark mist all over her.
Azula had been diagnosed with the darkness 2 weeks after being under surveillance. It explained the erratic behavior she had on the Agni Kai and how she hallucinated their mother and screamed to get away from her. Unable to visit her due to his uncle saying it would interfere with her treatment, he backed until he was forced head on to another loved one having that disease:
Katara, Suki and Sokka.
He educated himself and after those five years on the road to recovery, he would have thought the doctors watching over her would finally let her go out under some conditions…but no. His request was denied again.
His mother was another story. The whole fire nation had pulled up missing signs and announcements in the other nations to see if his mother would notice that she would be safe under his wing, that Ozai would never hurt her again.
2 years later and there was no sign or interest on his mother's behalf to appear. Those weeks were Suki would follow him into Ozai's cell to have more information would always end in the same spot: him denying a murder.
"Your mother wasn't as loyal as you think…the first opportunity she got to get out she took it. You were never that special to her"
Zuko breathed slower, trying to control his anger. No way his mother would have abandoned him, there had to be another motive. The search had no beginning and no end, everybody who knew loosing hope on her wellbeing.
"Boo~"
Zuko jumped out in position and relaxed after seeing Ty Lee's playful smirk on her face.
"I got you! Is Suki around here?" She asked looking everywhere in the room, puzzled. Zuko got closer again motionless.
"She isn't, I thought she would be with you?" Zuko asked back confused on why on duty the two girls were separated.
"I know, that's why I came here. She is dealing with the town mayor who is angry that a bunch of earth kingdom citizens have invaded his lands" Ty lee moved her hands around as she sat on Zuko's chair.
"What's on your mind?" He casually asked, unsure on why she would visit him alone.
"Suki. The girl of your dreams" Ty said playfully "Are you two a couple?"
"No. I am marrying Mai." Zuko denied blushing, moving his eyes away of her intimidating gaze
"Are you asking or confirming? You don't seem so sure" Ty questioned standing up, her usual playful demeanor turning more serious "I don't want you to hurt Mai again"
"What do you mean hurting her?" Zuko questioned back annoyed "She is our friend and my fiancée"
"Suki and Mai are my friends but you seem so empty and grey when moving around with Mai. Then Suki comes and your aura get's all red and hers orange. What's going on?" Ty Lee interrogated him "Are you seeing each other behind our backs?"
"I think it's time for you to stop believing too much on that thing" Zuko pointed at his own hair "Do you know how stressful is dealing with people to us? It's exhausting!"
"Uh-ha. I will keep my eye on both of you. Mai suffered enough alone when you left her to go against the fire nation, I don't want her to feel the same again" Ty said walking past him frowning, a side Zuko was always shocked to see.
"I don't want to make her suffer either! Thanks for your faith on us Ty!" Zuko said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.
"I want to protect both of my friends! One thing is having a nighty and the other an affair" She said turning back again to face him "Both have gone through a lot."
"I think we are all grown enough than to have people be noisy in our business Ty lee" Zuko said angry, starting to lash out the stress of his unknown mother and jailed sister "Thanks for worrying about me when I suffered alone watching Suki bawl her eyes out for Sokka"
"All of you are…ughh!" Ty lee exclaimed frustrated "I know I pushed for you and Suki to be together at first, but Mai deserves better than to be a fire lady with a cheating husband. You were supposed to be different"
Hearing the words hurt Zuko more than he thought Ty lee would hurt him, his face dropping and her own shocked eyes signaling she noticed.
"Zuko…no…"
"For the sake of our friendship…" Zuko exhaled a breath he had held "Leave"
The doors opened and both turned to see the one that interrupted them. Suki walked towards them with tired eyes and an unreadable expression, the newspaper on her hands made Ty Lee and Zuko's little fight get thrown onto the sidelines.
"Read this" Suki gave the newspaper to Zuko, pointing to the main headline
THE ICE QUEEN FREEZES THE MURDERS OF THE NON BENDERS
The murder of the Lee family was something out of the modern world as shown with the brutality they used to end the life of that poor family. After the identities of the three criminals (Who won't be named to avoid more fame towards them) were revealed to be a part of the Northern water tribe, the counselors need to made a choice ASAP!
That's were our benevolent Ice Queen, Electra appeared, serving justice. In her own words
"If you can't use your hands to heal, you don't deserve to use them at all"
Chills! As cold as the hard tundra she grew up, the girls were sentenced to loose their limbs and be isolated on a volcano back at the Northern water tribe, were they would be monitored and in custody until they perish.
A bold move for a bold politician.
Zuko and Ty Lees faces paled at reading limbs.
"Why is there no photo?" Ty lee asked oblivious.
"Because someone lost their limbs on court" Suki said shocked "I can't believe they let her do that!"
"It is cruel" Zuko said thoughtful "I wonder what made her choose to do that to her own people"
"Because she is a bitch" Suki said without thinking gaining a judgy eyebrow by Ty Lee. "I mean who would hurt their own people!"
Ty Lee nodded afterwards, waiting for another command from Suki. Zuko continued reading the newspaper
She apologized to all of the benders who were present in regards the bloody mess the hall was left. Electra represents us, the non benders in the city who leave among the prodigies, the ones with the upper hand in this cruel world.
May they keep protecting us.
"according to this, she made it to protect the non benders" Zuko said placing the newspaper on the desk, close to where his uncles letter laid.
"We don't need any type of protection" Suki said annoyed "We can protect ourselves…"
"Suki, they aren't all as amazing as you two" Zuko gestured towards her and Ty Lee "I just hope these type of crimes don't get out of control, I wouldn't know what to do if that happened under my charge"
"Of course you would know what to do, it would just take you more time to choose a non violent option" She replied back "We will keep guard outside"
The women left the room without another word, Ty Lee gritting her teeth to not ask Suki about the chat she had with Zuko on the room. "It took me long enough for her to warm up. I can't let her be on her guard if I want to catch them" Ty Lee thought standing on the other side of the door frame, thoughtful on how to deliver the news to Mai that she was being used.
Zuko sat on his desk, wanting to relieve some stress after the previous conversation he had with her friend. He would eventually figure out something so Mai wouldn't be left hanging if Suki ever though about a future with him.
He refused the anger to take control of him, walking around the room to find something for him to cool down. An idea got into him and as much as he shook his head to get it out, he fell for it.
"Suki, we need to discuss the security regarding Tom Tom and my mother in law around the palace" Zuko said peeking his head out, Suki nodded and let Ty take the charge with a signal. Ty nodded and got upset, thinking on why she was excluded of those meetings.
As Suki closed the door, Zuko placed the wood for it to be held form the inside, being impossible to open. She was about to question the reason but before she could he was already kissing her passionately
"Zuko…"Suki said in between kisses, as his hands moved towards her skirt and armor. "Zuko.." She whispered drowned in the adrenaline.
"Hush, try not to scream or we will be discovered" He said carrying her to his desk, spreading her legs and hiding under her skirt. Suki laid back and enjoyed herself, taking off a glove to put it in her mouth, biting it for her dear life.
He knocked the door nervously, using their unique code so both would know it was each other instead. Suki and Ty Lee took guard by the door as he entered, on guard as they always were in these hours.
"It has been some time since we talked alone"
"I am sorry uncle"
He gestured the chair ready to pour him some tea as Zuko sat, playing with his fingers. Iroh sat in front of him, drinking calmly as Zuko fought the urge to look at him with shame.
"I am guessing you read my letter" Iroh said starting the conversation, Zuko nodded with his eyes on the table, unable to face him "Then why are you acting so shy nephew?"
"I… do not know how to address this" he answered, looking at him. Nothing but love was found on his uncle's eyes and it unnerved him.
"There is no rush on the words, I am sure" his uncle replied smiling "I hope it did not put more pressure on you"
"It has not, believe me. I already thought about since some time ago" Zuko replied pulling out of his pocket some photos of the venues "I wish I married here, with…"
His uncle grinned, taking a sip as Zuko blushed. "But I will not. She is not ready to be the firelady and…I made a promise. I need to keep my honor"
"Have you asked her? Are you guys just a…fling? I am sure is how you young people are saying it now. You are the fire lord now Zuko, this important decision must be made with your mind and heart" His uncle reminded him "It is not okay for you to play with both girls hearts"
"You are the second person telling me that and it is making me nauseous" Zuko replied sighing heavily, stress building over him on how to handle the situation "I will marry Mai. There is no more to say"
"There is always something to say, you just have to be cautious on what you are trying to actually portray" His uncle reminded him as Zuko breathed shakily, nervous. "Young love and true love won't always be available to us"
"Us?" He questioned "Your wife…"
"I did love her, but I wasn't the love of her life" His uncle said smiling sadly "She married me because we knew each other for some time, it was beneficial and we were cordial about it"
Zuko listened interested, feeling not so bad about arranging a marriage in that moment with his friend, Mai.
"I gave her multiple times the option to leave and find her true love. She disregarded it and decided to stay with me until she…perished delivering your cousin" His face fell down for some seconds before smiling again. "That's why I'm telling you that having someone by your side must be one you might not love with your whole heart but that will be loyal"
"I do trust both of them and I don't think Suki would cheat on me" Zuko immediately said as his Uncle grinned "But I made a promise and….it would be seen as something so so wrong to do to Mai"
Zuko put both of his palms to his face, unsure on how to proceed. Someone would be damaged in the whole ordeal. He should have rejected Suki when she said "date me".
"Relax, firelord Zuko"
"Stop calling me like that! I don't…want this pressure" He said hurting "I hate this"
He was embraced by his uncle who lulled him as he calmed his breathing, mad at the promise he made to Mai and how he was stuck in between his honor and his dreamy future. He still had to fight for it and hope she would answer back to him.
"I… I wished this was easy" Zuko said without energy "Loving her is so hard and complicated…"
"Love can transform your whole being, it put us to test we could never imagine" Zuko looked at him speechless "As I said, it's your choice, your power"
Frustration grew in him to the point he wanted to punch something again. Himself would be the best thing. Why he thought falling for his friend was the best thing to do? To announce to the court he would marry Mai? Why did he set himself up like that?
He screamed gushing fire out of his mouth angered, his uncle stepping away far enough to avoid the flames. The door was bum rushed and his girls already were scanning the room to fight anybody.
"Zuko! Are you alright?" Suki searched the room getting as close as she could to shield him. Zuko breathed slower, losing himself looking at her back. He would fight through fire and flames to make it right.
"Just a little tantrum, you know him" His uncle chuckled as both girls bowed and laughed, waiting for Zuko to let them go. "Would you like some tea? My nephew is still mad at me so he won't talk for a while"
Ty Lee nodded and sat on the mat, waiting for tea to be poured on her cup. Suki looked briefly to him and blinked scanning him, as he just stared motionless. She sat besides Ty Lee and saw that Zuko kept fixed on that same spot, shrugging, she paid attention to the dragon of the west who currently talked about the rebrand of his shop in Ba Sing Se.
"I'm putting everything in us and…maybe I shouldn't have" Zuko thought walking out of the room, still uneasy and frustrated on what to do. Suki immediately stood up to follow until he raised his hand, stopping her.
"You are dismissed" He said walking out as Suki looked worried, seeing him walk down the hall until he disappeared.
I am so tired of being here, in this exact spot, waiting for the world to put my future in front of me.
My ragged breathing was not new, but very unusual at my age. The last time I was like this was when I had lost the Agni Kai to my father. Sitting on the warm water hadn't helped me like I thought, neither the unnerving silence that flood the room.
But it has become too much for me to handle. The love I have feed all these years will probably not have the resolution I thought. I hate it, I hate this. I hug my knees tighter, bawling in silence. I still can't believe she has me like this, hungry for her and the need to be loved by her.
Loved so much it hurt. Too intense that burned. I instead crushed until I crashed, my uncle reminding me the harsh truth I have been trying so hard to ignore: I am playing with both of them. Not only with their hearts but their honor.
I need to cut Suki out of my life, as much as it hurts me. Or should I just stop helping Mai? I might not marry her but she could have some benefits living here! I could even send her to Republic City and replace Onika.
Resting my head on the tub I open my eyes, looking at the hard wood ceiling. My eyes hurt from being swollen. I sure hope Suki doesn't come here and see me like this again, I don't have an answer to a question I don't want to answer, yet.
As everything in my life has been, I need to choose and to think it throughout. But this is obvious.
"Isn't it?" I said to no one, my voice coarse from crying.
As hard as I try to convince myself, being the firelord has cost me. Not only my childhood, my family and my mom, but also my future. A future with her. She might even do better if I send her somewhere else, moving on from both of us and not feeling as if she is betraying our group or friends.
That was the whole point of keeping this a secret. Suki isn't ready….she will never be ready for me. Because it is not our destiny to be together at all.
I can feel how weak it makes me think about that: Suki won't ever be more than just a thing I had. A lost love. My muscles tense and I immediately close my eyes, hoping no more tears come out of me.
"Are you okay?"
My heart skips a beat as I search for her, looking concerned.
"I…" I choke. A strange sound emerging from my throat as I try to say that I'm fine. I dismissed everybody today and was sure this hour was mine to be alone.
"Seems the cat ate your tongue" She said gracefully walking towards me, kneeling besides the tub were my head was resting seconds ago. "I will listen to your problems, you listen to mine, okay?"
I nodded, a huge knot forming stopping me from saying anything. It was so weird seeing her this close: almost nostalgic. She gave me a small smile.
"There is no rush, I can imagine most of the details" Mai told me moving some strands of my hair away from my face. "She said no?"
"I-I haven't ask" I struggle, clenching my jaw as hard as I can to stop myself from crying in front of her.
"You are a slow one, it took you…what….6 years to ask me out? Hold on for one more year" her sarcastic nature would have irked me, but it was true so I snorted a nervous laugh.
"I am sure she will say no" I said calmer "She won't be happy with all the pressure that comes with being a firelady"
"Suki? Running away from a challenge? I thought she was a kyoshi warrior" Mai said bored, toying with my hair. "I think you are underestimating her"
"What was your problem?" I asked realizing she had seek me to talk about something. Mai admitting she had problems was rare, rarer then a bear. A fricking bear!
"Are you finished? It's pretty early, I have no rush in leaving the room"
I don't have plans tonight and I am not ready to face Suki and ask her head on to marry me instead. I nod, finding the right words to express myself.
"I am insecure if I'm doing the right thing, throwing everything to ease her into me" Her eyes narrow in sadness, almost as if pitying me. Or not, I have hurt her more than I could count with my fingers! "Ty lee is worried about you and that made me rethink all of this, our agreement"
"Ty Lee is more emotional than practical, you know her" she replies looking down "Do not take her words to heart"
"Funny coming from the woman who betrayed my sister to save a fucking jerk" I joke with a small smile, my heart fluttering at the incredible act of courage she did to save us. She looks at me with despise. I can see her smiling and it makes me happier.
Being with her is easy. We know each other, we share similar backgrounds. There is just one thing that makes me so crazy that she doesn't have…
How vocal Suki is when seeing things that are wrong, her want to keep helping people even if she had been betrayed, her dream of finding love after she has been so hurt by those too close to her.
It is unfair to compare them, so a special place in my heart is where Mai will be. It is equally unfair to kill her opportunity to love someone else.
"I would do it again for you" I hear her say shyly. "I don't hate you at all"
"I appreciate you, a lot Mai. You really have no idea" I confess, we are having a heart to heart after all "That's why this transition…I want you to be as comfortable as you can"
Mai smiled sadly, which isn't great news with that I know of her. For starters she almost never smiles and if she does it without a sly remark, it is a red flag that the conversation is actually serious.
"Zuko. We should stop" Her stare made me shudder in the hot water I was, not comprehending totally what she wanted to stop. Intelligent as always, she saw how lost I was. Both of her hands grabbed mine. "We should stop the wedding"
"What?!" I almost screamed, sitting down as quick as I stood "Why? I…I am sorry" I apologized unsure of why. Mai tugged my arm to grab my attention again.
"Zuko. Fight for her. If you fail on your ass again at least you could say you did put work into it" Mai said frowning "I know you. You overthink a lot of things, this is one you should not. One blink and she will be gone"
"She has never been here" I reply upset "Her mind has always been on the South pole or in republic city"
"Make her stay then! Stop being that angsty teenager and do something" Mai said standing up, fierce and cold. "I don't want to marry you"
"Okay, I know I am a jerk for having a fling with Suki while organizing or wedding" I stand to face her, I am sure being naked won't matter to her as much as this conversation does. "You do know how that will jeopardize everything?"
"You sound like a general and it disgusts me" I frown at her harsh words, mostly because she is right. "Since when do you care if it goes with the fire nation politics? Fuck them."
"Tom Tom" The true of why this agreement was ever made "He will still have all the benefits"
"I am sure we can manage without them" Mai said bowing "Goodbye firelord, I hope this conversation has brought you knowledge you are, clearly, missing"
She turns around and I see her walk away for a third time, probably the last one. I am speechless at how selfless Mai was being with me. How calm, as calm as we both can be, discussed this.
I still felt incomplete.
"Mai" I say her name loudly, such a pretty name. She glances behind her shoulder, I can see that her eyes are teary.
"Thank you"
She turns around and keeps walking, until she opened the door.
"I will be the one breaking the news. I broke up with you. Do not get it wrong"
And she is gone.
My last setback of actually pursuing Suki is gone. One of my oldest…friends? Could she be considered friend? Is gone.
What am I going to do tomorrow with all of this?
Rain was something unusual at the fire nation, but not in Kyoshi Island. Seeing it pour down her window helped her when she was homesick the first years, now it reminded her how far she had gone on her life.
She had experienced a lot of how cruel the world could be outside the secure island: ego crushed, heartbreak, despair, loneliness, substance abuse. It was a miracle she didn't look older than she was by this rate. The constant overload of work she took to forget his name, even if it was bombarded to her everywhere she went made her reflect on how old she was.
They were a couple and it was normal her closest friends knew about it. She just was not used to be without him.
Five years after their first break up, this seemed the end.
The damaged paper on the bed where she had tried to write several times to finally say goodbye or to rekindle the relationship laid there. Where at times she would confuse her own reality trying to mold him as someone willing to wait.
"as if" Suki thought placing both of her hands on her face, leaning on them to relax her tense neck.
Love to her was something that on war, kept her alive. Kept her sane, kept her with faith that the war would even end one day. For a brighter future, a better world. Her heart still lighted up when she remembered all the good times, even their fights were things that made her laugh on how stupid and simple the solution was.
Tears rolled down her cheeks, longing for her lost love, wondering if she was stupid for subconsciously holding on to him. Therapy helped her move on from the attachment she had to him, being able to hear about him without having the need to puke.
What she wasn't being helped with was the love she still felt. Where was she supposed to put all of those feelings she had for him? The distance never affected her relationship with him, she was willing to die feeling in love. If they met again, would she recognize him?
Would he still have that puppy love he showed? Even after she put all, and more, of her for him to stay, the stakes were already played.
It was easier when she didn't have an actual future to deal with: One day she would just die fighting and would bring honor to her village, an impact to her friends and a good rendition to Avatar Kyoshi.
But now?
She cleaned her face and ripped the paper, the longer she took the angrier she got, breaking every last piece with fury of all of the feelings she didn't know where to vent in. Love and hate where side to side and she had started to hate him.
Not for long, as she always kept securely starched that letter. That old letter he wrote after they made love for the first time. But it was time to actually let go, to admit that they won't change and won't get better than they actually were.
She changed into her nightgown and finally smiled, rejoicing on being alone. On sleeping alone.
On feeling renewed to finally start living. Start loving again, loving herself again.
"Time to halt the fling with Zuko…or to embrace it" Suki thought under the covers, forcing herself to close her eyes despise the fluttering in her heart that made herself aware of her feelings towards both men in her life.
He chose Electra and it was time for her to choose Zuko.
"How long until we get to the fire nation? I swear this have been months!" Toph screamed to her navy, annoyed at still being on the ship.
"We think that maybe in one more week we will finally arrive. We are sorry for the delays caused by…"
"save it, I know it was my fault. Urg." Toph sat close to her bucket, who a loyal server helped her puke into. "I am just dizzy, I won't puke again"
Both men left her alone, feeling intimidated by her. Toph had nothing better to do, even the invitations she was so careful on carrying couldn't be read by her.
"I wonder what Suki and Zuko had been up to, it's been a while" Toph thought innocently. "I hope she has not seen about Sokka and Electra, they won't be together in the near future anymore"
Electra. The beautiful (According to everyone around her), sharp, icy Electra. The one whose heart always fluttered like a dying beewasp when she leaned onto her shoulder or punched softly, because Electra body was, apparently, like a doll: Delicate and feminine.
"Is she really into me? I mean, who wouldn't! But…It feels wrong doing that to Sokka. Imagine losing your third girlfriend to the best earthbender of all times!" she joked feeling awkward, not wanting to deal with more drama than what she was going through.
Boys were stupid. Boys could not do anything right in her life, apparently. Noburu had been going in and out of her life and she could not be more annoyed by it. She wanted to keep something open and even friendly. Why would she had to tie herself for a guy who might or not leave her?
Even if she was dubbed as a "living liar test" some people had the amazing ability to keep her heart rate under control, like Azula. She still thought about Azula and how she actually kept up with life.
Zuko briefly mentioned her in his letters, carefully written so she could read them with her fingers. Some matters were better discussed in person, delivering the wedding invitations was another excuse to walk away from her current environment.
An adventure is never refused, and the current one was too juicy to ever be ignored. If that meant leaving Noburu forever so be it, it's not like she would cry for him.
"People cried around me for a long time, not me thought"
She was looking radiant: a long golden shirt with black comfort pants that matched, her hair down in a comfortable top knot to look a bit different. She decied to not wear heels as she expected the date to be more active, giving the location he indicated to her.
What she was not sure was if he would come pick her up or they would go their own ways and meet there. A knock came from the door and she jogged towards it, a brief smile on her face.
"Oh…hello?" Ty saluted curiously, eyeing her "Are you going out tonight?
"To jog" Suki said excusing herself, walking outside to close the door. "Do you want to tag along?"
Ty lee though about it, pouting. "No thanks! Mai and I are actually going out to a party and we wanted to invite you"
"That's considerate from both of you, but I'll stick to exercise today, thanks!"
Suki jogged towards the front door, every step making her run instead of jog so she couldn't have the opportunity to change her mind in the last minute. Getting out of the palace with official credentials was boring than when she sneaked out with Zuko.
The sky had a bit of lights as the stars started to appear on it. The moment she reached the forest she slowed down, walking with caution as she overthought on what to do.
The last time I felt this much adrenaline was when I was on those ugly airships, on my way to save them.
I am not sure how I'm going to get to that place but I hope the light does it's job: At least that what his letter said. I could see a path between all the trees as I walked on it, the dim light directing a place that it's more hidden.
Smart guy, he does like to chase and be pursuit huh? I laugh to myself in the silence that surrounds me, breaking the nervousness a bit.
Why was I even nervous? Oh for Kyoshi Suki, stop playing dumb. Today is the day. It is not a coincidence that Mai breaks up with Zuko and a week later he invites you to a secret pathway, he has something cooked.
Although I hope not literally, he is still not that great with his cooking skills.
Sneaking around the woods does remind me the camping days with my girls: Searching the most secluded area or a good cover in case it rained on our way to Ba Sing Se. We played stupid games to pass the time or talked about the last news we heard while passing on the nearby town the night before.
Or I'm trying really really hard to ignore the other memories this location brings me: a lovers tent. Sokka's.
The one I was interrupted sneaking in by Zuko, the man I am currently searching on a similar environment. Isn't destiny funny?
Hope you are getting a good laugh out of it dipshit.
This is the end. I walk around the rock and see that the other side is actually a cave. Opening the letter with the small map I look around….Well, the references are the same, including that marking on the wood of a fan.
I stepped inside, touching the wall of it to have something to hold on if my dumb feet decide to fail me right now, as my legs are starting to tremble. What makes you so nervous? You chose him Suki, there is nothing wrong to feel loved.
Fully loved as he does.
Light! Goodness, it was starting to get dark inside here. I can literally hear my heart beats the closer I get to the path with more torches.
Stop Suki, you are not over him, turn around, leave. You do not know if he will actually come back!
I gasp loudly, is there even air here? The cave is bigger than what it looked outside. I am not that kind of girl. We broke up, he moved on, I can't expect him to keep loving me even if I actually die loving him.
We have gone through this, a lot.
"Suki?" I feel chills run down my whole body, why? I thought I was so used to having him around me in a more friendly way. He is looking really good…red really is his color. Or that color makes anyone look hot with it. NO, stop. No more blue eyes.
You have this beautiful gold in front of you.
"Fancy" I joked as I took his hand, letting myself be guided. Steps? Who even creates this places?
"I thought you would like more earth on your fire, so why not an underground date?" He smiled at me as we got to the end of the stairs.
Oh my, this looks beautiful.
The lighting inside the cave made it look comfortable, homely. A small pond was in the middle where water leaked from above, giving it a view of the starry night above us. My mouth was probably open as I feel Zuko's hand on my shoulder, embracing me.
"Let's sit here, I hope you already had dinner" He said walking by my side to a small wooden table and chairs on the other side.
"How was this place made?" I asked, I still can't believe this exists!
"Being a royal has it's perks" He winked as we sat down. Cookies! The tables has cookies. Thank goodness I actually had dinner so I don't feel bad eating only cookies.
"You are having cookies as your dinner?" I asked playfully as I grabbed one, his smirk easing the nerves I feel.
"That is our dessert" He said grabbing mine, I giggle.
"I was hoping you would give me something else" I wink as I lick my lips, making him blush. How adorable he looks.
Maybe my heart won't ever love as hard as I did with Sokka, but having him in front of me…
I am not even paying attention to whatever he is saying. The happiness and calm he shows while talking, how his cheekbones pop out when laughing, how bright his eyes look in these environments.
"So that's…why I have been falling harder for you and…"
Wait
Is this…for real? He kneeled down by my side, grabbing my hand.
"I am sorry I am so blunt about it but I do not know how to say it. Remember that lonely heart club we did years ago?" He asked me about that ship promise we made. I have even forgot about it, my bad.
I nodded, gazing into the beautiful golden in him. So fierce and yet, so soothing.
"Why do we have to be lonely? We should both strive to be happy and…if you have an opportunity to do it, might as well take it. I saw you, all these time in that dress, in that venue, in that…night" He finished blushing harder, his face is almost the same color as his shirt.
Is he really asking me out?
"And I know that I'm putting all of my truth here to be hurt again. It has been…9 dates already? I am not sure of the exact number but I am sure of my feelings for you since the first time we kissed. I never opened my heart to anybody else but then you just barged inside of it" he is caressing my hand…
He is touching my heart directly. Is this nervousness a reason that…
Do I actually love him?
"I dreamt about you, thought about you and hid myself in haikus to stop myself from asking you out. For respect of your feelings and your healing. Even if today you reject me…again" I hate seeing him so worked up "my love will always be unconditionally"
"Zuko…" I whisper, helping him stand up. He looks so crushed…
Why? I…I am so sorry. Please Yue, tell him I'm so sorry.
"I tried at least. Since that night Mai broke up with me I have thought about how I could make it official. It is alright. You do not have to-"
"I love you, Zuko" My eyes open shocked
Did I really said I loud? His eyes look with a mix of surprise, glee and love.
I can not say anything in fear this is another dream. How soft and shy she said those words. This has to be a dream
"Am I dreaming again?" I whisper reaching for her face, pinching softly my scar to wake up. Her hand bolts to it, stopping me.
I am not dreaming.
"No" She answers me blushing, her eyes look so…bittersweet. I thought she would be happy.
Oh.
Kissing her feels…so different. So heavy…as if moving my lips against hers was a sleeping drug that drags me to the ground. I can't help but embrace her fully, wanting to feel everything: How fast our heartbeats are, how her breath is raggedy, how soft her lips are.
"I am dreaming…" I say between kisses. She said she loved me and is kissing me.
Ouch! My lip!
"You are not" Her usual warm smile is back, her gaze is different from all those times we used to hang out together. It was one I had not seen since five years ago. "I love you, Zuko. I do"
I couldn't believe that this…this happened.
"I love you too" It comes out nervous, ugh! "I want you to be my girlfriend"
She leans to kiss me again, I guess this settles it then.
"I accept being your girlfriend" I can't help but hold her closer, happy "But…we should keep this a secret, for a while at least. Your break up with Mai is so recent and…"
"I mean, it has been what, 2 weeks already? People are going crazy trying to find another wife for me" I remind her what we have discussed too much for my taste in those closed doors reunions. "I would want them to stop and look at this gorgeous bodyguard who will kick anybody into the center of Ba Sing Se"
She laughs loudly, an unique moment that I only say once when we were getting drunk.
"Hold on for a little bit, I know it would be news all around because of…our background" As much as I hate holding on more to announce it, I agree. All the attention we would be getting will exhaust us to no end.
Might as well let it die until she feels ready.
"Okay, we will wait." I smile to her
It has been a while since I felt this burning sensation inside of me. It is pleasant, just grabbing his hands makes me recognize it, driving me crazy. His lips traveled from my palm to my arm, closing the distance until he reached my neck and face.
The tenderness and time he took to explore is making me ground my thoughts. Sure, I am feeling really…lustful. I knew why I came to this place, it was for either two things: Rejecting him or taking the next step.
And now I feel ready.
I placed both hands on his chest, making him briefly stop his pecks on my neck. I pushed him forward with a slower, more passionate kiss we don't share that frequently in our hidden meetings. We have a lot of hours to take our time and enjoy ourselves.
I stepped one leg beside his knees, pushing him backwards to the floor as I sweep my leg around, making him fall backwards. I know he hates the dirt and the ground, the small groan makes me take the memo.
"Sorry" I giggle straddling him, exploring again his chest. He smiles at me.
"You might regret that later" wow, Zuko actually is flirting? Something has rubbed off from me it seems.
We stare at each other deep, unsure on how to proceed. His hand went to my leg, stroking it slowly. I reach down to his face and kiss him again, his hand on my tight doesn't move at all, his other free hand helping him grab my hip. Damn it, he is so warm, I am already sweating.
Words are useless in this position, my hands slowly unwrapping his clothes almost as if he was the most delicate sweet I will taste. In a way, he is. His tongue was already on my mouth, devouring me. He sure knows how to make you anticipate, huh?
I can feel he is not moving his hand. It does not bother me that much, helping him move it to my lower back. He, instead, breaks the kiss and sits down, finally removing those layers that forbid me of looking at his sexiness.
That scar has always been a turn on, even if the circumstances he acquired it are not that awesome. Can't blame a girl, can you?
"Are you sure?" He whispers, his golden eyes sparkling with anticipation. I only nod, I still feel shy and new. It is so pathetic.
"yes" I say even lower than he spoke. His fingers run down my clavicles, looking for a way to get me out of my own clothes. Should I play hard or just get on with it? Gosh Suki, if you felt new, now you are actually acting like a virgin.
I reach for his hair and let down his hair, so dark and long. I do wonder how long it takes him to brush it? Does somebody brush it for him or he does it daily? Twice or thrice a day? Oh
He is now on top
Oh
"You do not learn, do you?" I say a bit annoyed, that shirt was expensive.
"I will buy you a thousand more to do the same" He smirks as his mouth gets to kiss my chest. His small bites and sucking make me increase the volume of my moans, squirming under him. I roll him to the side, wanting to explore and kiss him too.
His scent is making me seriously dizzy, I wonder what is he wearing? Is this a spell or something? I can faintly hear him whispering sweet words into my ear but can not comprehend what he is saying.
Oh
He is on top again, ready. Am I? I glance to our lower body parts, and I am in fact really ready for him. Our tongues meet each other as he coerced me to meet him. I instinctively crossed my legs and twisted my hips, I am sure the view I will give him is to die for.
"Ah" I moan and gasp loudly, he has a heavy hand. His hands gropped hard my…buttocks. It felt as if he was making a pastry and it is a mental image I can delight on, Zuko and pastries, how yummy.
Seeing him reposition is making me nervous, my eyes were half open as I flexed. He seemed possessed as he advanced inside me. I don't know if I am on heaven or hell but shit, this place is warm as fuck. I am already sweating and nothing important has happened yet.
Ohhh
We held still as our bodies adjusted, I completely closed my eyes as he started rocking back and forth, slowly and .tight. I am breathless, unable to say anything as he picks up the pace.
I am not sure how much time had passed until I open my eyes and see I am already on top of him, his face mixed with pleasure and happiness as I jump up and down.
"Agni you are so sexy…" he said as he held his moans, his voice straining as I slid down on him. I wish this lasted forever, he feels so surreal.
I can hear myself moaning louder, nothing else before my body twists on it's own and acts all animalistic. So similar to how I made love with…Sok…NO, stop. Not his pretty blue eyes looking at me like that…
Huh?
"We should get back, it has been some hours" Zuko says kissing my bigger cheek, making me moan.
"Why?" I ask, I feel so…disconnected. When did we finish? How did we do it?
"The sun. .up." he said as he sucked, I moaned louder the longer he held it. He stopped and dropped by my side, hugging me from the back.
What happened? Many hours? The sun is up?
"I love you Suki"
Should I answer right away?
"I love you too"
I feel oddly happy and my gabinet can see through it. It was hard to carry Suki as we were both exhausted, my underbags being more prominent than before. It was hard to focus on all of the plans of reconstruction and financing to the earth kingdom.
I thank Agni she said yes to me, I also ask him for patience and courage. Even if she said that she loved me, I have a small thorn inside my heart that makes me feel as if this happiness won't last again.
"Hey! My eyes are up here Firecracker!" Is that…Toph?
"Toph?" I ask blinking rapidly as I hug her.
Agni, please, don't make Suki leave me loving her. I don't think I could hold myself if that happens.