While Soren slept, Severus and Marie retreated to the dining room to enjoy a supper alone, the first time the two of them had done so together. Without the boy's excited chattering—and after what had been a rather dramatic afternoon for Snape—the energy was subdued, almost somber.
Snape took his usual place at the head of the table and began pouring two small glasses of wine. "How was your day off, did you enjoy yourself?"
"It was lovely. I mostly just caught up with a few friends, had some lunch, and spent way too much on new clothes and some books and a few things for the classroom."
"Which reminds me, let me know how much you spent today so I can reimburse you," Snape said matter of factly as he handed her a wine glass.
"Please, Lord Kent, that won't be necessary. These were personal items, you don't need to pay for them."
Snape gave her a serious look, a fork paused in his hand. "I told you I would cover all of your expenses whilst you are here, and I meant that. Just tell me how much you spent so that I can deposit the money in your account." He stared for a moment before he stabbed at a piece of food and placed in his mouth.
"No, Lord Kent, absolutely not. I'm not going to let you do that." Marie felt embarrassed, she'd been with some of her closest girlfriends and had bought some rather unprofessional items of clothing. She'd had a few glasses of Prosecco with lunch and went a little bit crazy. Some sexy lingerie, some clothes she might go out in, a new pair of heels to go with her outfit, a book of spells for hair and make-up. And then a few small things for Soren she was sure Lord Kent wouldn't entirely approve of like some kitchen and baking supplies for the classroom and a children's play snitch he could chase around the garden.
"I beg your pardon, Ms. Cloutier? You're not going to let me do that?" His tone was indignant and he followed it with a few disapproving clicks of his tongue and a slow shake of his head. "While I may on occasion find your cheek quite charming, I do not appreciate being told 'no' in such a manner, and I certainly do not need you to let me do anything."
"Sorry," Marie said, realizing she had obviously pushed one of his buttons. "But really, I don't need your money."
"Don't you?" He clinked his fork and knife down on his plate and paused for dramatic effect, staring down at her until he was satisfied he had her full attention. "You are really trying my patience, Ms. Cloutier. Perhaps we need a visit to my study so that I may refresh your memory on the terms and conditions of your employment. I believe I clearly stated that all of your expenses are to be taken care of whilst you are here, and that includes any clothes or personal items. You do not need to detail or justify any of your purchases, you are —of course—entitled to your privacy, but I am asking you to simply give me a number so that I can reimburse you as we agreed. If you refuse to do so, I will deposit 1000 galleons and hope I haven't undershot it. Am I clear?"
"Yes, sir." Marie said, feeling somewhat chastised, but annoyed. "It was probably just around 150 galleons." Liar, it was nearly 300 galleons. But she didn't want him to think she was going out on shopping sprees with his money.
"Now that wasn't so difficult, now was it?" Snape stared at her before dropping his gaze to his food, pausing for a moment before he let his words flow out in his more authoritative patronizing tone, one he reserved for particularly swotty students when he was at the end of his rope.
"I refuse to go through this every time you need or want something. You told me before you took this position that you were saving your money for a very worthy cause. One of which was that I would cover all of your expenses for the duration of your employment. Every sickle. You are providing an invaluable service to Soren and myself, and I would like for this arrangement to feel equally beneficial to you. I also respect that you have future financial goals you are working toward and I would like to be supportive of that."
"Thank you, Lord Kent. I really appreciate it, but honestly, these weren't things I needed, just some fun purchases. I really don't expect you to cover the cost of such frivolous things."
Snape set down his wine glass dramatically while he closed his eyes and exhaled with annoyance. "I will not sit here and argue with you over the difference between a necessity and a frivolity, I could not care less either way. I certainly don't want you to go without things or insist on a life of austerity simply because you do not want to spend my money. It is absurd. There is more money in my vault than I could ever possibly spend in a lifetime, or in four generations. Now that is the end of this discussion, unless you wish to take it upstairs and continue it over my desk."
Before Marie could express her shock or outrage, Snape stared right into her eyes. "So that you may read the details of your contract. I keep a copy of it in the top drawer of my desk, along with a very sturdy wooden ruler should one need further assistance." He paused again for effect. "I find it helps to isolate a particular line of text when one wishes to emphasize the details in the fine print."
"No, sir. I understand." Marie said quickly, putting all of her focus onto her food as she loaded her fork, trying to suppress the blush that was creeping from her neck to her face.
"I'm glad we understand each other," Snape said, using that tone that he knew drove her insane because she both loathed it and it did things to her.
Marie shoved another bite of food in her mouth so she wouldn't say something she regretted.
"Now then, if you're done being petulant, I would like to talk to you about Soren's reading. It is more abysmal than I realized and I would like to come up with a plan to remediate this as soon as possible. Perhaps you can walk me through the most current evidence-based approaches to this. Are you concerned he has a disability of some sort, or he's just far behind for his age? I would like to hear your professional opinion." Snape set his fork and knife down carefully and gave her his rapt attention.
"Oh, well. I don't think there's any reason to think he's got a learning disability, not at this stage. He just hasn't had enough exposure to reading in his previous home. It sounds like his mother was not very literate, and since he didn't go to school, he just hasn't had enough practice. He's not really all that behind, there are several countries in Europe where students don't even begin their formal education until 7. We will just need to be consistent in reading to him and encouraging him to read. He should get better with practice. But the most important thing we can do is remain encouraging. If he starts to think he has a problem, he will internalize it and it will slow his progress."
Snape nodded along. "I see. I will think about ways we can integrate more time for reading."
"He'll get there, Lord Kent. Just patience and consistency, and plenty of practice." Marie was a jumble of feelings. One minute he was scolding her like a 'petulant' child, the next he addressed to her like a respected professional in her field. She barely had time to feel one thing before he jerked her feelings in another direction entirely. For him, it was effortless, but she felt constantly off-balance.
"Indeed." Snape ran his thumb over his lip in quiet contemplation.
The two sat in awkward silence for a few minutes before Marie spoke up. "I didn't get a chance to ask, aside from the fiasco at the end of the day, how did everything else go? Did Soren miss me?"
"Your absence was keenly felt, Ms. Cloutier. But somehow, Soren and I managed," he replied dryly.
Marie let out a small laugh. "I was barely gone half the day and the manor was nearly burnt to a pile of ashes."
"It was merely one small room. Not even 5% of the manor. Really, Ms. Cloutier, there's no need for melodrama."
Marie knew that he was amused, his tone changed just enough that she could tell he was enjoying himself again. "I'm sorry. I just can't believe something like that happened in the few hours I was away. Poor Soren. I hope he gets some good rest tonight and feels better tomorrow. I've already got a plan for doing more mindfulness with him. Maybe we'll even start our day with some meditation and yoga tomorrow. A little 'salutation to the sun' always gets the blood flowing. "
Snape raised an eyebrow. "I'm pleased you'll be incorporating mindfulness, just don't get too off-track. I'm raising a future wizard, not a Buddhist monk."
"Hey, there's nothing wrong with that! Plenty of magical people have made spectacular spiritual leaders. I could see Soren enjoying life in an ashram somewhere in the Himalayas."
"Absolutely not. He is full of potential, I don't want him wasting it away in a loincloth somewhere on the other side of the world. For Merlin's sake, don't plant any ideas, Ms. Cloutier. He could be so much more…A healer, Minister of Magic, a brilliant potioneer running the greatest Apothecary in Europe. I want him to have big dreams, there should be no limitations to what he can achieve."
"If that's what he wants…but what matters is that he feels fulfilled and happy and follows his dreams. Success should never be defined by other people, it's about being true to yourself and your own goals. A person doesn't need a special title or award or degree to be successful in life. Soren should know that he is the only one who can define success. Besides, isn't that what you told me? That he shouldn't seek external validation, it is a 'fool's errand."
Marie reveled in throwing the man's words back at him. He had opined about how he loathed encouragement and validation, that it should all come from within, and yet here he was now daring to tell her that his measure of success for his son was a certain profession or title.
Snape paused for a minute and allowed her words to soak in. He had high hopes for Soren, he wanted him to achieve all the things that he never could because he started his life at a complete disadvantage and by the time he figured out what was truly important to him, it was too late. He'd ruined his own future, smeared his own name and he knew he would never be able to regain any semblance of respect after that. He was tainted, permanently, for a stupid decision he'd made as a damaged, overly emotional teenager who'd desperately wanted to feel valued and accepted…and as a result, it had robbed him of his hopes and dreams. He wanted better for his son. He was determined for Soren to have everything he could ever need to succeed in his greatness, to be whatever he wanted to be, but most of all, respected.
"Very astute, Ms. Cloutier. I stand corrected." Snape set his napkin down after dabbing at his mouth. "Nonetheless, I will insist that he excels in his educational pursuits, so that he will always have options. No door will be closed to him unless he closes it himself."
"If you want to join us for some yoga and meditation this week, you're welcome to. I'm sure Soren would enjoy that." Marie tried to imagine the man in something other than his thick wool coat and heavy robes. She could tell he had a lean, strong body under all of those layers of clothes, but the image of him in yoga pants was more than she could handle and she had to throw a hand over her mouth when she realized she'd let out an audible laugh at the idea of it.
Snape raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps the next time you are meditating, Ms. Cloutier, you should work on closing your mind a bit more, you broadcast half of your thoughts so clearly, one doesn't even need to be a Legilamens to know what's going on in your head."
Marie's face burned from her neck to the tips of her ears. "Oh, I…um…"
Snape smirked, he would never read someone's thoughts purposely without their consent (well, at least not outside of the context of war), but Marie telegraphed nearly every thought directly onto her face. "It's a good thing I banished those playing cards yesterday, you'd be an absolute hazard at the poker table. Best just to stick with teaching, I think."
"You're probably right. But you really ought to give yoga pants a try, they're extremely comfortable."
"I think that depends highly on how one defines comfort, Ms. Cloutier. And I can assure you, for me, it will never be a thin layer of cotton-lycra blend clinging to my lower body."
Too bad. "Well, the invitation stands. You are welcome to join us, in your thick wool suits, anytime."
"We'll see."
The next morning, Marie went in to wake Soren, but he refused to get up. She tried everything she could, being as gentle as possible, but short of physically dragging him out of bed, there wasn't anything else she could do. Finally she went downstairs without him.
"Where is Soren?" Snape asked, clearly displeased.
"He's still in bed. I think something is really wrong, Lord Kent, he won't get up. He says he doesn't feel well. I tried, really. I don't think he's faking it."
"I'll be the judge of that." Snape stood up, folding the Daily Prophet sharply and tossing it on his side table. "Please start your breakfast without me, Ms. Cloutier, I need to go deal with my son." Snape was battling between being irritated and truly concerned. At this point Soren knew better than to try to skip a meal or dare refuse to get out of bed, so he was inclined to believe something wasn't right.
When he walked in the room, Soren was still wrapped tightly in the duvet, his eyes closed.
"Soren, you will get up immediately. It is a school day, and you are already late for breakfast but I will not have you late for class. Now that's enough, up you get." He pulled the covers back causing Soren to moan and reach for them.
When he didn't make any effort to get up, Snape tried a harsher approach. "You have until the count of three to get up from the bed. If you do not, you will be starting your day with a sore backside. Get. Up."
Soren still didn't stir.
"One." Snape waited, dragging it out. "Two."
Nothing.
"If I get to three, you will go directly over my knee. This is your last chance."
"I don't feel good. My tummy hurts. I'm tired," Soren cried into his pillow. "Please father."
Snape reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I will run a diagnostic spell, but if it comes back that you are well, you will get out of bed and go to school. Immediately. I refuse to entertain this nonsense any longer."
Soren nodded his head and rolled over toward his father as he ran his wand swiftly over his small body.
"Just as I thought, absolutely nothing wrong with you. Now that's enough, I've indulged you long enough this morning. Up you get." Snape stood up and reached for one of Soren's arms.
"No!" Soren dodged his father's hand and rolled away. "I don't feel well! I feel sick and my body feels tired, I can't get up. Please father," Soren begged as soon as his father grabbed his arm, he jerked away, crying deeply. "No, I'm telling the truth, I don't feel well. Please, father, please!" He collapsed into his pillow in high pitched wails.
As soon as Snape heard that sound, he immediately let go of Soren's arm and reached down to feel the boy's forehead, concerned that something was truly wrong. Was it possible that his magic had drained him that much? Most children his age didn't have enough of a developed magical core to have this kind of somatic effect. Not to mention, he had given him a restoration potion that, coupled with a full night of sleep, should have easily remedied the issue overnight. But there was no other reason Soren would do this. He'd seen a thousand children try to get out of going to class, but it didn't look like this. Not to mention, Soren loved Ms. Cloutier and seemed to enjoy his time in the classroom. Something felt wrong and he recoiled, his brow furrowed, staring at the crying boy in confusion.
He let several seconds pass before he gathered himself and spoke. "Fine. I will send Tinny up with breakfast, but you will stay in bed and rest today. If you even think of getting up or playing around, I will take that as a sign that you are having me on, and you will be a very sorry little boy. I mean it, Soren."
Soren took a big, stuttering breath, before letting out another sob. He pulled the duvet up, clutching his rabbit and settling back under the covers, his back to his father.
Snape watched for another minute before closing the curtains and darkening the room. "Just rest. I'll be back to check on you later."
Suitably concerned, he put a hand on the boy's back to try to comfort him, but when Soren rolled further away, he pulled back, unsure of what else he should do. After waiting another few seconds, he turned around to leave.
When Snape came down alone, Marie was truly worried. "What's going on, is he sick? That's not like him at all."
"No idea. The diagnostic spell isn't showing a thing. Against my better judgment, I told him to stay in bed, but if this continues beyond this afternoon, I will have him seen by a healer." Snape refused to admit that he had been completely destabilized by the whole interaction, Soren was clearly unwell but he didn't understand what was going on, and he didn't know what else he should do. "I'm sure it is nothing more than an elaborate tantrum, there's certainly nothing physically wrong with him."
"Maybe I should go check on him," Marie offered, standing, leaving her breakfast half-eaten on her plate, completely unable to focus on eating when she was so worried..
Snape reached out and grabbed her arm. "Sit. Finish your breakfast, Ms. Cloutier. Let him sleep for a little while longer, and then you can check on him. I've got some work I need to take care of, but I'd like you to keep me informed if anything changes."
Marie sat back down and picked at her plate but she was sure she wouldn't be able to eat another bite.
They both sat for several minutes while Snape sipped his tea but didn't even attempt to eat any food, his body in knots from the combination of everything weighing on hismind. Finally he stood. "Please excuse me, I have some pressing matters to take care of. Take your time finishing breakfast, let Tinny know if you need anything else."
After pushing his chair in, Snape paused. "Oh, Soren should be resting, not playing around. Do not let him manipulate you. If at any point you catch him out of bed, I expect you to let me know."
"Yes, of course," Marie said, knowing full well there was no way she'd ever do that to Soren.
Snape gave a curt nod and disappeared into the dungeons, leaving Marie alone in the dining room, no one having eaten a proper meal.
Over the next few hours, Snape tried to put the boy out of his mind, but he couldn't.
He'd exchanged two letters with Harry over the last day and they were still not anywhere near to coming to a solution for the Ministry. Harry was doing what he could to delay the investigation, but it was inevitable, if he didn't come up with something soon they'd be on his doorstep demanding answers and likely taking Soren away.
The only pitiful idea Snape had so far was to find out if he could take a paternity test while under the influence of Polyjuice potion. Obviously he couldn't possibly show up to the Ministry (or have them come see him), looking like himself, but he had no idea if the polyjuice— which required biological material to transform him— would still result in a proper result if he were to give a sample under disguise.
Harry obviously had no experience with this, but offered to bring a batch of the Ministry approved potion to test it out.
The other option was a glamour, but Snape knew that any witch or wizard worth their salt would recognize a glamour immediately and he felt far less comfortable with that option. He didn't think he could possibly get away, particularly as someone with a mysterious past, as trying to fool any of the Ministry officials who came for an investigation.
Snape was starting to become hopeless, he'd sat at his desk in the dungeon for hours trying to come up with other possible solutions, but every hour that passed made him more despondent. He was beginning to consider that if he were to give Soren away, what he could do to make it less traumatic, even going as far as considering memory alteration or a potion that would make him slowly forget. But every time he tried to work through it, he drowned in self-loathing. None of these solutions avoided the obvious trauma that Soren would go through, and they were all far beyond his ethical boundaries
The last message he received was from Harry stated that he would bring him a test vial, and they could trial the paternity potion while Snape was on polyjuice, but they both knew the odds were against them. Snape also wondered how he would be able to go through such a charade with a 7 year-old who couldn't possibly understand why his father was in a disguise when the officials showed up. He didn't want to deceive the boy, not to mention anyone with a 7 year-old knew they couldn't help but speak the truth. It was disastrous.
After breakfast, Marie read for a bit in the parlor and sipped her tea before going upstairs to check on Soren. She opened his door quietly and peaked in, seeing Soren curled up in a ball facing the opposite wall, his eyes wide open.
"Soren, darling, how are you feeling? I've been so worried" She ran a hand through his hair, gently.
He rolled over and looked at her with sad eyes. "Not that good."
His tray of breakfast sat untouched on his bedside table.
"You didn't eat any of your breakfast. Don't you want to try a few bites?" Marie coaxed him gently. "You didn't have dinner last night either, you need to have a little bit of something or you're going to feel awful."
Soren shook his head. "Don't feel like it."
"Soren, what's going on?" Marie put a hand on his forehead and then ran her hand gently down the back of his head. "You need to eat. You can't gain your strength back if you don't. And you know your father doesn't want you skipping any meals."
"Not hungry." Soren turned away.
"Does your stomach hurt?"
Soren nodded his head. "A little." His voice broke and tears welled in his eyes.
"Oh, sweetheart, is this about yesterday?"
"Yeah," he said as the dam broke and he started sobbing.
Marie sat next to him and gathered him up in her arms. "Oh Soren. I saw your room yesterday, I'm sure that fire must have been really scary. But you have nothing to feel bad about. We fixed it, see? Everything is OK now, I promise, you're safe, there is nothing to worry about."
That just made Soren sob harder. "It's all my fault," he cried, his voice muffled in the folds of her clothes.
"It isn't your fault." She pulled his head up so she could look him in the eyes. "You're only seven, you can't possibly control your magic at this age. But we're going to work on it, I promise. I know it is scary, but no one is angry with you. Accidental magic happens to nearly all witches and wizards when they are children. You have nothing to feel bad about."
Soren wiped his face with the back of his hand.
"Do you like your new room? Your father wanted you to have something you felt really happy and comfortable in. I helped a little bit. What do you think?"
If that was supposed to make him feel better, it only made Soren feel a million times worse. He had not only broken the rules and set his room on fire with a contraband wand, he'd lied about it, and instead of being in trouble, his father made him a beautiful new bedroom. He didn't deserve it, and he couldn't even bear to look at it.
"It's nice." His voice was flat and devoid of any emotion.
"I put a few touches on it. Don't forget to look at the ceiling when you go to bed tonight." Marie tried to cheer him up, but he wasn't engaging.
Soren attempted a smile, but the guilt was eating away at him and he was sure he'd be sick. "Thank you. I love it."
Now Marie was really worried, Soren was obviously taking this very hard. He was usually so expressive, but he was barely responding, his affect was flat and it wasn't normal. She knew she'd have to seek out to Lord Kent to encourage him to have another talk with the boy, there was something wrong, and it was clear she wasn't able to provide the reassurance that he needed.
"If you'd like, I can read to you for a bit. Maybe some Oliver Twist to take your mind off of everything?"
"OK," Soren said, inching closer. It was certainly better than laying in bed alone, beating himself up.
"On one condition. I want you to try to have a few bites of your breakfast."
"I can'tttttt," Soren whined, lifting his head up. "Please Ms. Cloutier, I don't want to eat."
"I know, but sometimes if you have a bite, you'll get your appetite back. Just have a little something. Maybe some fruit? Or is there something else Tinny can make that you'd be able to eat?"
"I don't know…maybe. Can Tinny make a pancake? One of those thin ones. With jam and sugar? My mummy used to make them for me… when I wasn't feeling good."
"I'm sure we can ask him." Marie snapped her fingers "Tinny?"
The little house elf popped up. "Yes, miss?"
"Do you think you can take this tray back, and bring Soren a crêpe instead. With strawberry jam and a bit of powdered sugar? He isn't feeling well."
"Of course! I's gonna be right back with that!" And with a poof, he disappeared.
Marie went to the new little bookshelf and pulled out the big, leather bound copy of Oliver Twist. She'd spent a good two hours with it trying to fix the damage the other night, and while it wasn't perfect, it was definitely much improved. Although she still doubted she'd be able to return it to the library without Lord Kent asking questions.
Soren cuddled into her as she opened the book. He was starting to feel a lot better. Knowing it was his father that made this new room for him made him feel guilty, but also loved, and he didn't want to risk ruining things by telling him the truth. Slowly he was convincing himself that it was best just to move on and not think about it. And he promised himself he would never, ever do a dangerous spell like that again.
Mid-afternoon, Snape came upstairs to check on Soren. He peeked through the door and saw Marie, laying on the bed, reading to Soren who was cuddled into her. Not wanting to disturb them, he walked toward the classroom.
He always swore he never missed teaching, but there was something about being back in the classroom that gave him a sense of nostalgia. He also liked seeing the additions and small details Marie was constantly putting into the room, transforming it into way more than a classroom. Some of it he found rather silly, but he trusted that she knew what she was doing and sworn he'd stay out of it.
He knew there were plenty of things she did in the classroom that he wouldn't approve of, per se, but if it was engaging for Soren, he was willing to turn a blind eye.
There was a new set of cubbyholes lining the back wall where she had put some of their "educational supplies" (since he'd banned her from having 'toys')— including several new items for the play kitchen so she could teach math and units of measurement. He peeked into one cubby that had a series of bowls and measuring cups, and a jar full of miniature wooden spoons, spatulas, and scrapers. A cupcake tin…and A WAND?
Snape reached into the cubby and pulled out a light-colored wand. His anger flared as he held it in his hand. After everything I've said. How many more ways can I be clear? It took every ounce of self-control he had not to go bursting into Soren's room shouting with rage. He took several calming breaths and slipped the wand into his pocket before storming downstairs to wait in the parlor. He needed some time to figure out how he was going to handle this.
Marie convinced Soren to come downstairs for afternoon tea, he was feeling much better after their talk and she wanted to encourage him to try and move on from the disaster and return to some normalcy.
She came downstairs holding Soren by the hand, but the second she stepped into the parlor, she could feel that the energy was off. Lord Kent was sitting in his armchair, neither reading or sipping tea, just sitting. And he didn't look pleased at all.
"I see you're feeling better," he said to Soren. "Done with the theatrics for the day? Or do you plan to carry-on with them for the rest of the afternoon?"
Oh no, thought Marie. This was not good. That was definitely his angry tone, even if his voice was low and measured.
"Yes, sir. I'm feeling better now. Ms. Cloutier talked to me and read to me and after I had some food I felt better."
"Well, isn't that convenient. How grand it must be to languish the day away in bed whilst your devoted entourage brings you food and reads to you." His words were cutting and his tone ice cold.
Soren was confused, he'd had his father scold him a hundred times, but he'd never heard him speak to him like this. He had no idea how he was supposed to react and he looked up at Marie with a hurt look on his face.
Marie jumped in. "Lord Kent, Soren has been through a lot in the last day, he was properly traumatized from the fire. Providing him with a little extra space and comfort today so he can process his feelings isn't something he should be shamed for."
Snape knew he was being petty, but the minutes alone he'd spent thinking about how he was going to handle things had enraged him further rather than calming his nerves.
"Very well, then I expect everyone will resume their normal activities starting tomorrow."
They all sat in awkward silence for a few more minutes while Tinny set down the tea service and poured the tea.
After a few sips of his tea, Snape clinked his cup down rather dramatically in the saucer, successfully drawing everyone's attention. "I found something very interesting in the classroom today. Would you care to take a guess of what that might be, Ms. Cloutier?"
Well whatever it is, you're not pleased about it. Marie could think of at least 20 things he would probably not be happy about finding in her classroom since she'd basically ignored his directive about not having any toys. Although for her, the baking set was vital to her teaching methods and she considered it an integral part of their math curriculum. Whatever it was, she'd listen to him get it off his chest and then move on while continuing to do things the way she wanted to.
"I'm not quite sure, Lord Kent."
Snape made a grand gesture of pulling the wand out of his coat.
Marie just stared. That was not what she expected at all. She leaned forward to take a closer look and realized she didn't recognize the wand at all. Like her own wand, it was pale in color, spruce, maybe? But she'd know her own wand anywhere, and it was safely tucked into her dress. So she sat back and waited.
"I thought I made it extremely clear that you should never be without your wand. Not only does this mean you don't have your wand on you, but you were so careless that you left this lying around in a classroom where a 7 year-old child could have easily found it. How could you be so irresponsible!" Snape was incandescent with rage now and he wasn't able to contain himself.
Marie was about to defend herself when she felt a small tug on her hand. A quick sideways glance toward Soren and his eyes were wide with fear. Then it clicked. Oh my God. Soren has a wand. The little boy pleaded with her with his eyes, his lips mouthing a silent "Please" and before she knew what she was doing, the words started tumbling out.
"I'm so sorry, Lord Kent. I honestly can't believe I would do that. I was so distraught this morning, worrying about Soren, I went to tidy up in the classroom and I clearly forgot it. You are right to be angry, I feel terrible."
Marie was trying her best to sound contrite, but she was still in a state of shock.
"This is beyond acceptable, and an enormous breach of trust. Do you have any idea how dangerous this is? How can I possibly trust you to look after my son if you are not going to take the simplest of measures to keep him safe. The fact that this is the second time you've put him at risk is beyond forgivable."
Soren shrank back into the couch, hoping it would swallow him whole. He felt terrible watching his father lambaste Ms. Cloutier when he knew it was his wand and his fault. But seeing just how angry the man was made it slightly easier to let her take the blame. Finally he spoke up. "Please don't be angry with her father, Ms. Cloutier takes really good care of me."
Snape clicked his fingers and pointed toward the stairs. "You stay out of this. Go to your room."
Soren paused for a moment debating whether or not he should come clean.
"Now," he bellowed in a deep voice that sent Soren scurrying toward the stairs.
Once the boy was out of sight, Snape narrowed his eyes at Marie. "I cannot possibly keep you in this position in good faith."
Marie was panicking. "Please, Lord Kent, I understand why you're so angry, but please, I'm asking you to give me one more chance. You know how much I care for Soren, I would never purposely put him at risk. I can swear on my life I will never let anything like this happen again."
Snape stood up and tossed the wand in her lap. "You're right, it won't happen again because you will not be here."
Marie knew she should tell him the truth, but at this point she was worried he'd fire her anyway. She had to convince him somehow to give her one more chance. She picked up the wand and put it in her opposite sleeve.
"I understand Lord Kent, I do. Please believe me when I say that Soren means everything to me. I feel horrible. I was so worried about him this morning, I thought I heard him cry out and I must have set down my wand before I went to him. I've been so worried about him that my mind wasn't where it usually is. Please, give me another chance, I'm begging you."
Snape hated this, he didn't want to fire Marie, but what else could he do. He knew it wasn't intentional, but her recklessness put all of them in danger, most of all Soren. He reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose.
Marie was in tears now, she should have just told the truth right away, but she couldn't stand the thought of him punishing Soren so harshly. But losing her job would destroy her. Yes, she needed the money, but she also didn't want to lose Soren like this.
"I am so sorry, Lord Kent. Please believe me, I am filled with so much regret right now. Please don't make me leave."
Just then, Soren's voice came from halfway up the stairs. "No! I don't want Ms. Cloutier to leave! You can't do that, father, it's not fair!" He ran down several more steps. "Let her stay! I need her!"
As quickly as a leopard pouncing on their prey, Snape got up, stalked over to the stairs and dragged Soren by the arm down the last few steps. Without a word, he walked him to the sofa and bent him over the arm while he rained down several hard smacks on his backside. "How dare you disobey me and speak to me that way! Not to mention eavesdropping on conversations not meant for you!" He gave him two more hard smacks before he pulled him up and released him. "Go to your room. I will deal you later. We are far from finished."
Soren was really crying now. "No! It's my fault!"
"Soren, please do as your father said, and go upstairs to your room. Now. Please." Marie was trying to de-escalate the situation but it was about to blow up in her face. She was sure it would be worse for both of them if he confessed now, she was worried that would just send the man into full-blown apoplexy.
Snape was in a full meltdown. He pointed at the stairs, a deep scowl on his face. "You have three seconds to get upstairs before I finish what I started. Go."
Marie encouraged him further. "Please Soren. Listen to your father."
Soren's bum was throbbing and he had no doubt his father would make good on his threats, but he didn't want to leave Ms. Cloutier in trouble, so he stood, frozen looking between them.
When he didn't move, Snape took him again by the arm, walked him roughly toward the stairs and gave him two more hard smacks, one right on top of the other. "You have one more second. Don't test me."
That was all he needed to decide, and Soren bolted up the stairs in tears, a combination of fear, guilt, and the searing heat in his backside.
Snape had lost control of his entire household and he paused where he stood to ground himself and take a breath. He walked over and stood over Marie. "I need some time to think. You will meet me in my study in one hour."
Marie just nodded her head. "I understand. I really am so sorry. Please give me one more chance. You can dock my pay. Put me on probation. Whatever, please let me prove to you that I will not make this mistake again."
"Not another word. We'll discuss it in an hour," he said as he retreated to his dungeons to be alone.
Marie really had messed this one up. All she could do now was just hope and pray she could have one more chance. Even though she knew she hadn't really left her wand, she knew it was her fault for letting it get to this point, she should have just told him the truth.
By now she knew that she'd violated his trust either way and she felt terrible. It was her first instinct to protect Soren, but this was a disaster. She paced back and forth in the parlor trying to figure out how she could possible fix things. You're an idiot, Marie. You better do whatever it takes, you cannot afford to lose this job.
After a few more minutes of wracking her brain and pacing, she finally went up to check on Soren.
Marie walked in to find him in his room, laying on his stomach, his face smooshed into his pillow. She walked over and sat on his bed, putting a gentle hand on his back. "Hey, can you talk to me for a minute."
Soren shook his head and refused to look up. "It's all my fault. Now he's going to send you away."
"He's just upset right now because he thinks I put you in danger. Because he loves you and wants to protect you. Come on, sit up."
Soren rolled over and pushed himself up so he was leaning back on his pillows, rabbit tightly in one hand, his face red and puffy from all of the tears.
Marie pulled out the wand. "I'm guessing this is yours? Can you tell me where you got it?"
"It's my mummy's. When she was sick she told me to keep it safe and not to let anyone take it."
"I understand, it's really special then, isn't it."
Soren nodded.
"Did you try to use it even though you knew you weren't allowed to ever touch a wand?"
"Yeah," Soren said, tears streaming down his face. "I just wanted to practice so I could be good at magic."
"Soren, do you know why your father made that rule? Wands are incredibly dangerous when you haven't learned how to control your magic. This is why people don't get wands until they are 11, and even then they are only meant to use them while supervised at school. It takes years to learn how to use a wand safely."
"But I can do it."
"What do you mean?"
"My mummy taught me some spells, but some I learned on my own."
"This wasn't the first time you used the wand?"
"No…I've been practicing."
Oh Merlin, this is bad. "OK, well, you know you can't do it anymore. Not until you're old enough, do you understand? Were you trying to cast a spell when the fire started?"
"Yes. I cast incindio, just like I saw you do. But it was too strong and fire went everywhere. I'm really sorry," Soren was cracking and he started to cry, true remorse on his face. "It was really scary."
Marie was usually pretty calm, but she couldn't believe a boy his age was casting such dangerous spell. He had no idea just how badly he could have been injured, permanently and she was losing her temper. "Are you serious? You purposely cast an incindio and set your room on fire? That is really dangerous Soren! You could have been really really hurt. Magic is not something you can play with like that." Marie was realizing she was completely out of her depth here, and was regretting that she didn't let his father handle this. She shuddered to imagine how badly things could have ended. "That's really not OK, Soren."
"I'm know, I'm sorry, I just wanted to see if I could do it. And I could."
"Yeah, apparently. You nearly burned the house down." Marie breathed a huge sigh. "Listen, what's done is done, but I'm going to keep your wand. I promise I'll keep it safe, but no more magic, OK? It is incredibly dangerous, as you now realize. I'm just glad you didn't get hurt." So much for a lecture. You're rubbish at this, Marie. Lord Kent should be having this conversation with him.
"Are you going to tell my father?" Soren looked up at her with his big brown eyes.
Yes. You absolutely should Marie, are you insane? "I don't know. I really think I should, it isn't fair to keep things from him. And you broke a really serious rule, Soren. That wasn't a little bit of mischief, what you did was really dangerous." She tried to channel Lord Kent, but she knew she had nothing to back it up.
"Please, Ms. Cloutier, please don't tell him. He'll be so mad at me. He'll hate me. Please!" Soren was full-on begging, tugging at her arm. "I learned my lesson, I promise. I'll never do magic ever again until I'm older."
"I can't promise you. I don't even know what's going to happen with me right now, but I can promise he won't kill you or hate you. He certainly isn't going to be happy about it, but he'll forgive you, I promise."
"No, don't! What if he doesn't want me here anymore?" Soren cried into his rabbit. "He'll send me away."
"Oh Soren, that's not going to happen. You're a child, he might get upset and he'll probably punish you, but I promise you, he's not ever going to get rid of you. Come here." Marie gave him a big hug and tried to settle him.
"I don't want you to leave," Soren said, crying into her. If you leave, I'm going with you." He hugged her really tightly. "I'm really sorry. I wasn't trying to be bad, I promise I won't do anything like that ever again, please don't tell him."
Marie hugged him back and gave him a kiss on top of the head. "I know, and I'm not planning on going anywhere. I'll do whatever I can to stay" Marie hoped that was the case. She wasn't sure how to get herself out of this mess now without ruining the trust she had with both Soren and Lord Kent. She was so screwed.
When the hour was up, Marie knocked on the study door, her heart pounding in her chest and her mouth completely dry.
"Enter," came the deep voice from behind the door.
You've got this Marie. She took one more deep breath and reached for the doorknob.
Like Soren, she wasn't sure what she expected, but Lord Kent's study was almost cozy if not for the intimidating man sitting behind the large desk waiting to rip her to shreds. She felt like a naughty schoolgirl who'd been called into the Headmaster's office, unsure of her fate and whether she was about to be expelled. In another context, the thought might have been enticing, maybe even sexy, but this was anything but. She felt pure dread, and this wasn't some fantasy role play, this was her real life, and she was terrified she was about to lose her job. A job she desperately needed.
"Have a seat, Ms. Cloutier." Snape motioned to one of the smaller chairs in front of his desk and she sat down immediately.
Right away Marie noticed that his voice was calmer and the tension from earlier was gone from his face. Oh, he wasn't pleased, but he was no longer on the precipice of spontaneous combustion.
"What do you have to say for yourself?" He asked calmly, his hands folded on the desk in front of him. "This is your opportunity to speak, uninterrupted. I will listen carefully, but I suggest you choose your words wisely."
Great. No pressure. Marie's mind was a jumble of different thoughts and she was panicking. Should she tell him the whole truth now? Double down on her cover-up and beg for mercy? Tell him the truth, now is the time. She knew she probably should, but she worried it was already too late.
"Lord Kent, I will be honest, when I took this job it was because I really needed the money. I wasn't thrilled to come here, honestly I was afraid we would never see eye-to-eye, but your offer was too good to refuse. And I'm glad I said yes. Over the last few weeks I've grown to really care for Soren. Truly. He's not just the little boy I'm teaching, I really love him. I want the best for him. I would do anything in the world to make sure he is happy, healthy, and safe. I've also come to really appreciate your commitment to him and his education, and I've enjoyed being here at the Manor. With both of you. It would really break my heart to leave."
Great, so far, all true. She took a deep breath before she continued. Do it Marie, tell him the truth. "I went to see Soren before I came here… "Come on, Marie, just say it. "And…I…"
Her voice caught and she felt tears burning in her eyes and she had to swallow down a lump before she continued. "I looked at his innocent little face and I hated myself for not doing more to protect him. I was careless, and I put a boy's life in danger because I was distracted and forgetful, and I am honestly so angry with myself. All I want to do is protect him and care for him, and yet, I'm the one who has put him in danger. Even though it was an accident, you're right, it is unforgivable. I don't even know how I can forgive myself. All I can offer is words of deep regret, and a solemn vow that I will do whatever I can to rebuild your trust and make sure this never happens again. However, if that is not an option, I understand completely and I am ready to offer my resignation. I love Soren so much, and I want what is best for him, and if you do not believe that is me, I will accept that."
What the actual fuck, Marie. She hoped she hadn't overdone it, most of that was true, but she was also hoping that by throwing herself on her sword, she might have some tiny little glimmer of hope to save her job. At this point she knew Lord Kent wasn't one for begging, so instead she decided to take responsibility and show "true" remorse.
Seconds ticked by in silence, Marie reeling with nausea from all of the lies and the uncertainty and anticipation of what he would say.
"Thank you for taking responsibility. I am glad I do not need to waste my breath explaining to you how dangerous it is, both to be without a wand, and to leave your wand lying about with a 7 year-old child in the manor. I will be honest, had this been anyone else, they would have been immediately out the door. However, I can see how much you care for the boy, and how much he cares for you. He has had enough disruption in his life over the last few weeks, that— aside from his safety, of course—his stability and mental well-being are my biggest priorities. For this reason, I have decided to allow you to stay."
Marie wanted to throw herself at his feet in gratitude. "Thank you, Lord Kent." A few small tears flowed out of her eyes in relief. "Thank you so much. I promise it won't happen again."
"However," Snape said, drawing out the word for effect, "we are going to do things a bit differently until you can prove to me I can trust you again." As he spoke, he pulled out one of the handkerchiefs from his coat, stood, and walked around to the front of his desk so he could hand it to her properly.
"Of course, Lord Kent. I want to prove myself to you. Anything." Once again she was struck by how tall and imposing he felt, particularly when she was seated.
Snape put his hands behind his back and stared down at her. "First, I want you to do a mental exercise on personal accountability, and what it means to be accountable for your own actions and taking care of yourself. Then I want you to think about what it means to be responsible for the life of another person. In this case, a vulnerable child who is depending on you. What are the ways you hold yourself accountable to both? I want you to really think about your personal weaknesses and what you need to work on so that this doesn't happen again. Then you will submit to me a self-improvement plan."
What the actual fuck. "I'm sorry, what?" Marie didn't mean for that to come out so rudely, but she wasn't always great at hiding her feelings.
"A self-improvement plan," he said, speaking slowly and enunciating each word slowly.
"I heard the words, but I'm not sure what that is."
"Very well, then I shall spell it out for you. You will spend some time today in quiet reflection- in your room, in the classroom, outside, wherever you like, and you will think about the things you believe could use some work. You will write them down, and then you will make a plan on how you will do these things better, and how you plan to hold yourself to account. Fairly straightforward, I believe."
"OK…" Marie still wasn't entirely sure she understood.
"Let's say that a person struggles with being on-time. They are chronically late each morning to work and they would like to improve that. First, it is important to understand why they are late. Are they not getting enough sleep and they can't wake up? Perhaps they should go to bed earlier. Do they take more time to get ready than they think? They should get up earlier. Are they constantly running around in the morning looking for things? They should prepare everything they need the night before. Are they constantly forgetting things and having to come back for them? Then perhaps they'd benefit from a checklist they use every day before they walk out the door. Hopefully by addressing the problem at its root, one can solve it. Permanently."
"Oh, I see," Marie said. "Got it. So, for me that would be why I keep forgetting my wand?"
"This is your improvement plan, Ms. Cloutier. You should determine what areas you would like to improve, I cannot do that for you. However, I would suggest, somewhere in your plan, you address whatever issues have resulted in you making this mistake, not once, but twice after vowing to me that it would never happen again. Whether that is a result of distraction, forgetfulness, disorganization in other parts of your life, lack of sleep, I do not know. This will require you to take a hard look at yourself, but it is my hope that in doing so, we will solve this at its source and it will not be a problem ever again."
"Yes, sir. Absolutely." To be honest, it wasn't a terrible idea. A little infantilizing perhaps, but not outside of the realm of professionalism. She'd seen this kind of approach used in her graduate program to help struggling students. It felt a bit like overkill, since she was essentially trying to solve a problem she didn't really have, but whatever, if this is what the man wanted to let her keep her job, she'd make the best self-improvement plan he'd ever seen.
She waited a few seconds before asking, "So, that's it?"
"Why? Is there something else you would like to propose?"
"No, sir," Marie was feeling awkward now, like it almost felt like she was getting off too easy. She'd expected more, scolding? Threats, maybe. "So just the self-improvement plan."
"Yes, Ms. Cloutier. Just the self-improvement plan. But do not take this lightly— I want your word that you will commit to it fully. This is your chance to prove to me you are capable of doing better. I have no doubt that you mean well, but I need to see that translated into actions and real change. Neither of us can afford to see you make another mistake like this again."
"Of course. Thank you for giving me another chance."
"I am doing this because I believe in your ability to do better and I do not want Soren to lose another person whom he cares about. But understand this clearly…you will not have another opportunity like this again, so take this seriously." He glared down at her, his words firm and sharp.
"I will." Marie just stared at him still feeling like she was missing something. "Is there something else you want me to say?"
Snape raised an eyebrow. "I believe you've said everything. You've apologized, expressed true remorse, and will be coming up with a plan for how to do better. That is sufficient."
"Are you going to give me feedback on my plan? Like, if I'm missing something or you think there's a better way to do it? I don't really have a lot of experience with this, I want to make sure I do it right."
"I can. It is completely up to you. If you wish for my feedback, I will give it to you. If you'd like my help in holding you accountable to the details of your plan, I can also do that. This is your self-improvement plan, you will need to think about what works for you. For some people, they do best holding themselves accountable, for others, it helps to have someone else share in the responsibility."
"What do you mean?"
"Let's say you are trying to stop a bad habit. Cursing. You could fine yourself a galleon every time you use a bad word. You stick it in your little swear jar, you donate it to charity at the end of the month, and that might be enough for you. For other people, they may not even hear themselves, they might need help from someone else to notice when they say a bad word or to keep track of their jar."
"Oh, OK. I get it." Seems reasonable enough, she'd definitely seen people do that before.
"Everyone is motivated differently. For example, if you were trying to improve your health, you might have someone ask you each day if you have done your exercise for the day. Or you might keep a food journal that you share with your partner or a friend who is doing it with you. Just having another person ask might be the difference between doing it and not doing it. For other people, the fear or shame of another person asking them about what they are eating or doing might be so off-putting that it has the reverse effect. Instead they would rather motivate themselves by perhaps giving themselves a reward if their goals are met each week."
"A reward, really?" Marie stifled a small smile. "I thought you didn't believe in positive reinforcement."
Snape gave her a signature eyebrow raise. "The science is quite clear on this, Ms. Cloutier. The fear of negative consequences is a far more powerful motivator than the promise of a reward. You may disagree with me, but it is just how the human brain is wired. However, in certain circumstances, and for certain people, it may be effective to use both."
"Right. So you're saying if I want to, I can ask you to help or check-in or whatever?"
"Yes. If you would like someone to be accountable to, I will do that. If you do not, that is up to you." He knew this would never work if he forced it. He wanted her to come to the conclusion that she needed his help, his guidance. As much as he was tempted to, he was trying not to cross any professional boundaries, although if he had it his way, this conversation would be going in quite a different direction. Ultimately his intentions were pure, he wanted her to stay, but she needed to shape up, she was in desperate need of self-discipline.
"OK, so, when it comes to my wand, then, how would you help me?"
"It depends. It can be as simple as me asking you at each meal. Or it could be a journal you keep track of, perhaps you check off that you have your wand at various points of the day, and then you bring me your journal at the end of the day."
Marie didn't know why, but the whole idea of him checking up on her was causing her to feel flushed. "I mean, I could just always check yes. You wouldn't know." Why the fuck would you say that Marie, are you trying to egg him on?
"You could, but that would defeat the purpose, wouldn't it? If you don't trust yourself enough to be honest with your own self-improvement plan, I can do random checks throughout the day and it will remove that dilemma. And I will keep hold of the journal."
Well this is getting interesting. "What happens if I forget, you fire me?"
"No, Ms. Cloutier, the point of this entire exercise is to give you a chance to improve your habits. As long as you are sticking to your plan and taking the steps to do better, I will not fire you. But if the system you are using to help you improve is not working, I might suggest more rigorous methods, or a complete change in the approach."
"Oh."
"So instead of checking in at meal-times, you check in more often. If that doesn't work, perhaps we put a charm on your wand so that if you are ever more than a foot away from it, it alerts you. Or me. And then we add consequences."
Consequences? For real? This is getting interesting. "What, like the swear jar."
"Yes, a similar idea. Although it doesn't have to be money. It could be anything. Whatever you choose. For some people, money isn't an effective consequence, they have no problem tossing a galleon in a jar 10 times a day without a second thought. It might mean your time. Or taking something away. Or having to do something you don't want to do. I think you get the idea."
"So basically, a punishment."
"A consequence, Ms. Cloutier. You're an adult, you choose to be held accountable to yourself and you choose the consequences that work for you. A punishment suggests you have no agency, which is the opposite of what we're doing here."
Same thing, different words. "Have you ever done this before?" Marie was getting really curious now. She was getting the feeling this wasn't the first time he'd put someone on this kind of plan. It was way too well thought-through to be something he'd come up with off the cuff. She was dying to know more without seeming too eager.
"What? Helped someone with a self-improvement plan?" He asked, casually. "Of course. More times than I can possibly count."
"Really?"
"Yes, Ms. Cloutier. I can be very effective in helping people reach their goals when they're honest about what they need to do better. My results are impeccable."
Snape's "behavior modification plan" was something he'd come up with in his first year of teaching, and it quickly became a regular part of his disciplinary arsenal as Head of Slytherin, particularly when a student needed more than a quick reminder to get back on track. A month or, Merlin-forbid a term on one of his plans had never failed to get results. Although, when it came to his students, they had absolutely no input, he set all the terms and conditions himself and they were nothing less than Draconian. It was every Slytherin's worst nightmare and he made effective use of it as a threat.
Marie felt a flush go up her neck. "Oh. Well, what if I don't really know what works for me?"
"Then I'm sure we'll figure it out. Trial and error, Ms. Cloutier, no one needs to get it perfectly on the first try. Just take your time today, think about all of the things you would like to do better. Bad habits you'd like to change. Goals you would like to reach. Imagine the ideal version of yourself….and then what you think you need to be able to make these changes. If promising yourself a shopping trip at the end of the week is your biggest motivator, by all means, include that in your plan. But if you think you'd benefit from having an 'accountability advisor,' I will do whatever you require to help you succeed. The terms are up to you, you just need to ask."
"Don't you mean accountability partner?" Marie asked, her mouth curling up slightly.
"That would suggest we are equals, Ms. Cloutier. In this scenario, we would not be. You will report to me, I will ensure you are meeting your goals, and if required, I will ensure that your consequences are enforced."
Woah. Marie's mind was now swirling. What the fuck is this? Why is this kind of hot? She searched his face but he was dead serious, there wasn't a hint at all that he was teasing about any of it or that this was a joke. "So, if I asked you to make me run around the maze everytime I forgot to brush my teeth, you'd seriously make me do that?"
"Yes. Without hesitation."
"Oh, well, that's not really an issue, I was just curious."
"You may write whatever you want in your plan. After dinner, we will return to the study and go through it. If you would like my feedback, you may ask for it. If not, I will trust that you know what you need to do and accept it as is. My degree of involvement is up to you."
"So just so I understand, as long as I'm working on my self-improvement plan, you won't fire me for any mistakes I make?" This was the important part, she needed to keep her job, so she needed to know exactly what the terms were here.
"Correct. Consider this your probation period. As long as you are clearly committed to making changes, and you are actively working within your plan, your only consequences are those you choose for yourself. However, if at any point I feel you are not taking the plan seriously or not making an effort to do better, or not being honest about what you say you are doing, I will terminate our contract."
"Oh."
"Progress, not perfection, Ms. Cloutier. If something isn't working, I expect you to come to me so we can change our approach. If you do not, that's when we will have an issue. Do you understand?"
"Yes, sir. I do." Marie knew she'd been flippant about some of this, but it was clear that Lord Kent was taking this very seriously and he wasn't playing around. As silly as she might find the whole idea of it, this was her only chance to fix things.
"Very well. Then take your time. We will go over it tonight after Soren goes to bed. The most difficult part of this is being honest with yourself about what you want to change. And in some cases, asking for the help you may require. This plan can be as simple or involved as you would like it to be. I leave it up to you."
Marie nodded. "Thank you." Her mind was reeling and she had no idea what she was going to do.
"You're dismissed, please send Soren in to see me." Snape returned behind his desk and took a seat in his executive chair, pulling open his top drawer.
Marie stood up from her chair and leaned forward over the desk. "Please, Lord Kent, you're not going to punish him again are you?"
Snape pulled out a piece of parchment, slapped it dramatically on his desk and closed his drawer firmly, clearly indicating his irritation. "How many times, Ms. Cloutier do I need to remind you that you are not to interfere in how I discipline my son. Perhaps you might consider adding that to your self-improvement plan. Do not overstep your role."
"Sorry," Marie said. "I'm just really worried about him. He needs your reassurance right now. He's been an emotional wreck all day worrying that if he makes you angry, you'll send him away."
Snape ignored that last bit, a pang of guilt ripping through his chest. "Soren knows the rules and he is also very aware of the consequences when he breaks them. I know you care for him, but please, respect my role as his father." Snape was asking politely, but his tone and the look he was giving made it clear it was not a request and she'd better heed him.
"Yes, I know, I'm sorry."
Snape picked up his quill and began scrawling quickly across the parchment, his brow furrowed in concentration, waving her away with his left hand without looking up again. "You may go."
As soon as she closed the door and stepped into the hallway, Marie exhaled, letting out a deep breath, not realizing she had been holding it in for the entirety of their conversation. The muscles of her jaw and neck were tight from clenching her teeth and she had to take a moment to shake it all out.
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
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