AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thank you for everyone who reviewed and favorited, I'm so gratefu! Hope you enjoy!

When Soren entered into his father's study, he was a quivering mess. He felt guilty and sad and had spent the last hour worrying to death about what his father would do when he found out the truth about the wand. He had a constant lingering sickness in his stomach that he couldn't get rid of, but he was too afraid at what his father might do if he found out, so he resolved to never tell.

"Soren, come here." Snape stood from behind his desk and motioned with two fingers. "Sit"

Soren sat in the same chair Marie had just been in, but his feet dangled. His father seemed scarier standing behind the big desk and he didn't like the feeling one bit.

"Do you know why you are here?"

"Yes, sir." Soren whispered, doing his best to keep tears from falling.

"Why?"

"Cuz you told me to go upstairs and I didn't." He hoped that was it, he was pretty sure Marie hadn't told him about the wand or she would have mentioned it. And his father didn't seem nearly angry enough for that to be it.

"Were you listening to the conversation I was having with Ms. Cloutier?"

"Yes…but I was scared. I didn't want you to be mad at her!" Soren was getting worked up and the tears started streaming.

"Mind your tone," Snape gave him a pointed look before continuing. "None of that was any of your business. When I ask you to do something, you do it. You deliberately disobeyed me. Not to mention, I warned you before what the consequences would be for listening in on conversations not meant for you."

"But you already punished me," Soren cried, feeling indignant.

Snape scoffed slightly to himself. "That was a warning, not a proper punishment."

"It still really hurt," Soren whined slightly. The sting had long faded, but he'd definitely felt those whacks for a good fifteen minutes. It seemed like a real punishment to him.

"Yes, that was rather the point. You didn't listen to me when I used my words, so I found another way to get your attention. Up until now, I have been extremely lenient with you. But let me be clear. If you disobey me, defy me, deliberately break a rule again, you are not going to get away with a handful of smacks like you got today. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir." Soren wiped at his face. "I just don't want Ms. Cloutier to leave." He started to heave into real sobs. "Please don't make her leave, father…I need her!"

Snape reached across his desk and deposited a handkerchief in front of the boy. "I realize that. And that is precisely why she's not going anywhere. But it is not your job to defend her. Ms. Cloutier is an adult, she is perfectly capable of having a conversation with me without you poking your nose where it doesn't belong. I swear, the both of you are like two peas in a conspiratorial meddling little pod."

"Ms. Cloutier is staying?" Soren looked up from his handkerchief. "Really?"

"Yes."

"Thank you father!" Soren jumped up to hug him, but the instant he was out of his chair, he was met with a sharp snap of his father's fingers pointing for him to sit back down.

"Now then, I am more than ready to be finished with all of this. We all have important things to do, and I refuse to put up with a single minute more of nonsense today. From anyone. So you will go to bed early tonight, and you will wake up tomorrow a polite and obedient little boy, and barring a coma or death, you will be at breakfast on time, you will go to class, and I had better not hear a single word of defiance out of your mouth for the foreseeable future. Do you understand?"

"Yes, father."

"Good." Snape stood from his chair and walked over to Soren. "Is there anything else you would like to say?"

"I'm sorry I didn't listen and go upstairs when you said and I promise I won't do it again." Soren was pretty sure that's what he wanted to hear, he was starting to better understand how his father worked now.

Snape was exhausted. He'd never admit it, but after he'd cooled down a bit he realized he had perhaps been a bit harsh earlier. He should have never had any of that conversation with Soren in the room, so he took partial responsibility for the boy's emotional outburst. Nonetheless, he didn't want Soren thinking he could go around disobeying him, so while he didn't regret smacking him, per se, he had no intention of punishing him further. He was drained.

"Very well, then we will put the events of earlier behind us. However, you will stay in your room until dinner and reflect on your dreadful behavior and how you might make better decisions next time. And if I hear a single peep or I catch you playing around instead of being contrite, quiet and reflective, we'll be right back here for a much less pleasant discussion, am I clear?

"Yes, father," Soren said, looking up innocently from the top of his eyes, relief flowing through him that he wasn't in worse trouble.

Snape took the boy by the wrist and gently guided him out of the chair before propelling him in the direction of the door with a firm hand between the shoulders. "Off you go."

Before he reached the middle of the room, Soren turned around and wrapped himself around his father's waist. "Thank you for letting Ms. Cloutier stay. And for my new room, I really really love it."

Not knowing what else to do, Snape patted the boy twice on the head. "Good. Now get out of here before I change my mind and decide you could do with a few good smacks with my ruler." He clicked his fingers and Soren bolted for the door.

For the rest of the afternoon Marie sat in the library, staring at a blank piece of parchment. Whatever she'd expected from her meeting with Lord Kent, that conversation was not it. She'd braced herself to get fired, to plead and beg, to listen to him shout and berate her. But a "self-improvement plan"—she still couldn't quite wrap her head around it.

At first she thought it was some silly little thing he was doing to make her feel like an errant child, but as the conversation evolved, it became obvious that he was very serious about this, and it was the only way she was going to keep her job. And all-in-all, it wasn't the worst thing in the world. She had often tried to put herself on some half-assed version of that every few months. She'd go through periods where she felt super motivated to try to do everything perfectly, like get in shape, or study for exams, or learn to paint, but inevitably she'd kind of burn-out a few days or weeks later and then have to wait for for another panic to set in before would feel that surge of energy again.

Looking back, she'd always kind of struggled to stay consistent with things. She was super bright, and honestly, she got by with a lot at school because of her intelligence. She'd study, but she'd often wait until the last minute and pull all-nighters for a week until she was literally collapsing on the last day of finals. She'd swear to herself she would be more organized next term, but inevitably she fell into the same pattern again. And it was true, she never really had anyone holding her accountable because at the end of the day, she'd topped nearly every class, and no one really felt the need to intervene. Certainly not her parents who were kind of hands-off, not wanting to put any pressure on her. But it was exhausting.

Even in grad school, she never really learned good habits, she just kind of knew how much she had to do to get the results she wanted. Sometimes she hated herself for it- she wished she had a bit more self-discipline. But at the same time, her system, as flawed as it was, worked. It just meant her life was a constant cycle of one extreme or the other and sometimes it had to get really stressful before she could manage to get herself back on track. She thrived on the anxiety and chaos, even though it made her feel like trash, destroyed her sleep, and ultimately really did a number on her self-care. The resulting crash would mean she'd lock herself away for several days or weeks at a time and read, draw, or just kind of avoid the world while she recuperated.

Now that she really thought about it, she knew this tendency to get overwhelmed was how she ended up in the financial situation she was currently in. She hadn't given any details to Lord Kent, of course, but she was in pretty dire straits when she took the job. Obviously. Yes, she had goals of starting her own school, but she also had run up a good amount of debt that just seemed to keep getting worse. Not on purpose, she wasn't a compulsive spender or anything, she just kind of, sucked at managing her own money. And sometimes she dealt with things by just…ignoring them. Which she knew she shouldn't, but sometimes it was just too overwhelming and she didn't have anyone she could really go to for help. Her parents were clueless, her friends were all successful and would be shocked to find out the truth. She was alone…with all of it.

Coming out of Beauxbatons, she'd wanted to do both Muggle and Wizard post-secondary education. But, getting grants as a foreign student (she held Canadian citizenship) was really hard. She'd ended up taking a loan from the goblins to cash her out in dollars to study in the US, but the rates were insane. She'd done most of her wizarding education in Europe, so she didn't have too much debt from that, but now she owed quite a bit to the goblins, and her parent's livelihood and retirement was now at risk. If she didn't start paying things back soon, they'd take her parent's house and they'd lose access to the small bit of money they'd saved up in their vault for their later years.

If she could go back in time, she might have made a different choice. At 19 she thought she'd become a professor at an elite institution and then the money would just flow, so the loans had been meaningless. She thought that maybe she'd write some books, do some speaking, but then her plans changed, and she realized that her real passion was building her own school. She envisioned a curriculum that taught wizarding children with the same pedagogy as the best of muggle education, except, you know, with magic. She was confident there would be a space for it, but founding a new school, especially one on more modern ideas about education was going to be tough, and she was going to need a lot of money to get started. Not just to pay off her debts, but to get enough capital to get off the ground. But now she was in so far over her head that she wasn't even sure if she'd even be able to save her parents from financial ruin, much less build her dream school.

Anyway— she tried to stop her thoughts from wandering, she needed to focus and get something down on paper. She couldn't possibly show up tonight with a blank piece of parchment, Lord Kent would be wholly unimpressed, livid even. He was giving her another chance and his one request was that she committed to a plan. Whatever that was, she had to try.

She started with a list:

Always have my wand

OK, this one was bullshit, but she knew he'd expect to see it there so she put it on the list.

Do not question Lord Kent on his parenting methods

Another stupid one, but OK, she would try to do better. Although she wasn't going to stop trying to convince him to try other things, she'd just be more careful about it. He didn't respond very well to her outright objections, so she would have to work on this slowly

….

She sat there staring at the page. What did she want to do better? Really. Not just what he wanted to hear, but there had to be things she could do better. Come on, Marie.

If she really thought about it, there were loads of things she could improve on…the question was, did she want to?

She'd managed to get this far on her own, did she really need an "improvement plan" to make these changes? If she wanted to change, she'd do it on her own, right? You know your life is a train-wreck Marie, why not give it a try?

Why not? Because the idea was terrifying. To put all of her flaws out there and then be put into a situation where she pretty much had to be accountable to them. She wasn't sure she was ready to make those kinds of changes. Like an addict who knew the drugs were ruining their life, but they weren't ready to give them up. Except for her, she was addicted to the adrenaline of the chaos. But if not now, then when? Don't you want to be free from this debt? Build your school? You can't do this and keep going the way you've been going.

"Ughhhhh," she let out a loud sigh. Maybe she should get some fresh air. No, she just needed to focus. Sit here and write out the plan. Go all in. And the fact remained, she kind of wanted to hand over some control to someone else. It would be a relief, even if she didn't fully understand why she craved it. Go for it, Marie. Lord Kent had promised that he "always gets results."

She let her mind wander, wondering who he'd done this for in the past. She knew next to nothing about his life prior to her arrival and he never offered it, but she was definitely intrigued. He was rich, so he didn't work, did he? Maybe he used to, and in that job he managed other people. Or maybe he'd done it as part of a relationship. That was a much more intriguing thought. She tried to imagine what he'd be like as a boyfriend or a husband. Even if he had a frosty exterior, something about his domineering nature made the idea of him behind closed doors particularly sexy. Focus, Marie, for Merlin's sake.

She tapped her quill for a few more minutes before she finally started writing, deciding she was going to throw caution to the wind and go all-in. If nothing else, it would be a new adventure, what was the worst that could happen?

3) Get more sleep. Go to bed on time and get up so I don't feel like shit every day and need several cups of coffee to function. Also maybe less coffee in the afternoon. Do not stay up all night reading.

That was pretty straightforward. Her sleep schedule was abysmal. How she managed to function, continually, on only a few hours of sleep was beyond her (OK, maybe it was caffeine and adrenaline), but every time she promised herself she'd go to bed early the next night, she'd be tired all day and then the evening would roll around and bam, she'd be reading until 2am.

Self-care: Start the day with a walk outside or yoga. Always do my skincare routine, brush my teeth morning and night. Leave room for hobbies like reading, drawing, making art.

This seemed easy enough, but she always seemed to forget to do the simple things because she'd stay up late instead of going to bed at a reasonable time and despite what she'd said to him, she didn't always remember to brush her teeth. Her self-care could use a lot of work. She could mask a lot of it with some quick charms, but she knew she needed some encouragement here. There just didn't seem to be enough time or energy, so self-care was always the first thing to go out the window.

Finances: Do not spend money on useless things. Figure out how much I really need to pay everything back and start my school.

OK, even if Lord Kent was going to give her the money for the dumb stuff, and pay her really well, she still really needed to figure out how she was going to get on some kind of payment plan with the goblins before her parents ended up penniless and homeless. She wasn't sure if she wanted to tell Lord Kent about all of that, he would no doubt think she was a moron for ignoring her finances the way she has. She'd come back to that.

Be a better role model for Soren, learn to control my emotions and my mouth in front of him. Be more thoughtful about my words.

For the most part, she felt OK about this, but she definitely had a tendency to lose control of her emotions and was quick to argue with Lord Kent, which she knew pushed him to the edge. She didn't want him to merely tolerate her because she needed this job, she wanted him to respect her and be proud of her. She didn't know why, but she was desperate for his approval and she knew she had to do better before she was going to get it.

Be a better friend- and daughter. Reach out more, write more letters, go visit. Stay present.

She felt bad about how she just kind of disappeared sometimes, went off the grid when her life got complicated and things got overwhelming. She knew this was hard on her parents, especially, but also on her friends. She often felt bad about it, but still couldn't motivate herself to write or show up for a visit, even for the people who had really been there for her. It was something she truly disliked about herself and she wanted to do better.

Honesty. Be more honest.

The last one was too much. She knew this was an issue (and the guilt was currently eating away at her), but she wasn't sure how to include this in her plan without being a complete hypocrite. She knew she needed to come clean with the whole wand situation, but it was definitely too late now. That ship had sailed.

Maybe it could just be like, be more honest moving forward? It wasn't that she really lied that often. But she wasn't always fully honest with people. She felt guilty that her parents had no idea just how bad things were with the goblin loans. And she often hid her true feelings from her friends so she could keep her bubbly fun outgoing nature. And she'd certainly buggered things up with Lord Kent.

The more she thought about it, the more she realized that she had created a safe, but inauthentic world for herself where she didn't have to deal with some of the things that were slowly destroying the real world around her. She craved escape, perhaps part of the reason she'd so readily agreed to move into this manor house with a random wizard and his illegitimate child. She'd have done almost anything to avoid her own reality when she saw the ad posted.

After sitting with it for several minutes, she put a line through the last one. She definitely wasn't ready to address all that. No, there were enough things on her list, she was sure Lord Kent would be satisfied. And now that she thought about it, maybe she should get rid of some of the financial stuff as well, perhaps just make a savings plan for her school. She fixed the parchment and rewrote that section.

The hours had flown by as she dove into her subconscious, trying to figure out what she wanted to change and who she wanted to be. But this was just the first step— after that she needed to decide what her goals were, and how she planned to achieve them. And that was going to be the tricky part. Maybe she could just start there and see what Lord Kent had to say.

She didn't want to look too desperate, but she wanted his help. She wanted him to tell her what to do, to hold her to his ridiculous standards, she felt like that was what she needed right now to get her out of this rut.

Her stomach growled and she looked at her watch, realizing it was almost time for dinner already. She'd only just begun to scratch the surface, but hopefully this would suffice for now.

When she came into the parlor, Lord Kent was sitting in his armchair, reading.

"Where's Soren?"

"In his room. Reflecting. I'll have Tinny fetch him now." Snape snapped his fingers and called for Tinny. He set down his book and turned slightly in her direction. "How is your plan coming along?"

Awkward. Painful. I'm not sure I really want to do this, except I know I do. "Well, I took your advice and I'm trying to be really honest with myself, but it's actually harder than I thought."

"I'm quite proud of you Ms. Cloutier. It would have been much easier not to, but that shows me you are taking this seriously."

Marie felt a surge of euphoria flood through her body at his words. Why did she want to please him so badly? Why did the slightest hint of praise feel like a drug? She steadied herself before she answered. "Thanks." We'll see what you have to say when you see my not even half-done plan.

When Soren saw Marie, he ran down the rest of the stairs, skipping several as he went, and jumping down the last three before launching himself onto her, practically knocking the wind out of her as he leaped into her lap. "I'm so glad you're staying! I don't want you to ever leave me, never ever ever!" He wrapped his arms all the way around her neck, nearly choking the life out of her.

Snape clicked his fingers loudly. "Soren, get off of Ms. Cloutier this instant. And don't you dare run down the stairs like that again. Nor do you jump on top of people like that, have you lost your mind? Come here."

"Sorry, Ms. Cloutier," Soren said as he climbed off of her lap, slowly making his way to his father's armchair.

"It's OK, darling, I'm so happy I get to stay with you too." She kissed him on the forehead before he scrambled away.

When he was within arms reach, Snape snatched his wrist and pulled him closer, growling at him in a low tone. "What did I tell you? Absolutely no more nonsense today. Do you really expect me to believe you've been in your room reflecting on your deplorable behavior when you come dashing down the stairs like a raving lunatic? Unacceptable."

Soren looked suitably chastised. "I'm sorry, father, I was just really happy to see her."

"I should have given you the hiding you deserved earlier. I can guarantee you would not have come bounding into the parlor like a wild heathen if you'd been properly punished. A mistake I will not make again. Now go sit down, and do not ever let me see you do that again." Snape sounded exasperated and shook his head slowly back and forth, clearly at his wits end. "Absolutely disgraceful."

Soren didn't need to be told twice, he escaped as soon as his father released him, taking refuge by Marie, who put a comforting arm around his shoulder.

Marie had to work hard to keep herself from making a comment about his harsh words, but she knew she was already on thin ice as well. Although she was starting to realize that maybe Lord Kent was a lot more bark than bite. Most of the time. And at least Soren didn't seem too upset about it, two minutes later he was smiling and holding her hand as they walked into the dining room.

As promised, after dinner Snape sent Soren straight upstairs, although this time, he announced he would be up shortly to put him to bed. Before he excused himself from the table, he turned to Marie.

"Take whatever time you need for yourself this evening, I will be in my study as soon as I'm finished with Soren. You may knock when you're ready to go over your plan."

"Thanks. But I'm happy to get Soren ready for bed, it's no problem."

"No. I'd prefer that you focus on your own assignment tonight, I can surely handle putting a single unruly child to bed."

His tone was light, which was a good sign. Marie was getting better at detecting his moods through the slightest variations in his voice, his face, the tiniest little upward curl of his lip. Everything about the man was so subtle, it was like a master class in micro expressions.

"Soren is not unruly! Come on, you have to admit, he's a pretty amazing kid."

Snape raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps. Still needs quite a lot of work, though."

"Don't we all," Marie replied jokingly.

"Some far more than others, Ms. Cloutier" he said as he pushed in his chair, giving her a knowing look as he made his way to the stairs.

When Snape walked through the door, he found Soren brushing his teeth in the washroom.

"Two minutes. Minimum. You should be brushing 30 seconds a quadrant to prevent tooth decay. If you'd like, I can put a charm on your toothbrush to alert you."

Soren stared for a moment, confused. Was this, fatherly concern? The man had never watched him brush his teeth before. He shrugged his shoulders. "OK."

Snape pulled out his wand and flicked it around briefly. "Good oral hygiene is essential. As a wizard, your teeth need to last you upward of 200 years. When you're older I'll show you some spells you can use to help. For now, make sure you brush. Properly. At least twice a day."

"Yes, sir. I always brush my teeth. But this one is kind of loose." Soren pulled out his toothbrush and wiggled at one of his incisors with his finger. "When I lost my front teeth, the Tooth Fairy came and gave me a galleon! Do you think the Tooth Fairy will know I'm here now? I hope she can find me cuz I think this tooth is gonna come out real soon. See?" He leaned his head back and wiggled it again with his mouth wide open in the mirror.

The Tooth Fairy? Oh Merlin, he doesn't really believe that does he? But something in Snape's cold heart couldn't bear to say anything that might hurt him. "I'm sure she'll figure it out. But what on earth do you plan to do with a galleon?"

Soren thought for a moment. "I'm going to save up for a broom!"

Snape scoffed. "Absolutely not, you're way too young for a broom, I have better things to do than regrow your bones on a daily basis. And do you have any idea how much a broom costs these days? Far more than you have teeth, I assure you. You'd need the teeth from an entire grammar school to afford one."

"Oh," Soren said, disappointed. "There was a boy near my old house who had a broom. It was so cool! I wanted to ride it but he wouldn't let me, so I put dirt in his sandwich when he wasn't looking. He was mean."

"That wasn't very kind." Snape raised an eyebrow. "Nonetheless, brooms at your age are way too dangerous. You'll learn to fly when you're much older."

Soren narrowed his eyes in the mirror, clearly displeased. "Well, when I grow up I'm going to save all of my money and then I'll get my own broom and I'll fly whenever I want to."

Snape didn't love the attitude, but he was impressed with his resolve. There was no way in hell he would let him have a broom before he was 11, preferably before he was 17 (although he knew that was unrealistic), but he found himself reluctant to destroy his ambition. He was both fascinated and amused to see his own expressions on the boy's tiny little face. "Yes, I'm sure you will. Now hurry up, rinse your mouth and get into bed, you're stalling."

"Are you going to read to me?" Soren stared at him through the mirror as he spat out the remainder of his toothpaste, wiping his mouth with the towel on the side of the sink.

"Story time is a privilege for well-behaved children, not naughty little boys who disobey their fathers and go about wreaking havoc all day. Now get in bed." Snape clapped twice to hurry him along.

Soren stepped down from his little step stool and walked to his bed, picking up his rabbit as he climbed on top of the mattress. "Ms. Cloutier said that reading is for everyone and it is an important part of my development."

Snape had no clever response for that. "Well, you are welcome to read to yourself at any time during the day. But now it is time for lights out." He pulled down the corner of the bedsheets for Soren to get in.

"But I don't like reading by myself, I'm slow, I like it when Ms. Cloutier reads to me, she does voices and everything," Soren complained as he crawled under the covers.

"Well, then you have plenty of motivation to behave yourself tomorrow. Only good boys get bedtime stories, which I assure you, is not a descriptor that applies to you today." Snape pulled the duvet up roughly.

"I'm trying," Soren said as he cuddled his rabbit to his chest. "It's really hard, you know."

Snape mindlessly tucked the covers around him. "Yes, the stress of being 7 must be immensely overwhelming. So many responsibilities, all of the minutiae you juggle daily to keep your life functioning. It must be incredibly trying to grow up in a manor house with two responsible adults who care for you, and a house elf at your beck and call. How do you do it?"

"I don't know. But I just try my best. Sometimes I make mistakes but then I just try to do better next time. Ms. Cloutier says that no one is perfect and it's OK to have a bad day."

The sarcasm had obviously gone over his head completely and Snape was touched, briefly, by the little boy's innocence. "That's an excellent approach to life. Ms. Cloutier is quite right."

Soren pushed up on his elbows and looked directly at his father. "Are you still mad at her?"

Snape wasn't expecting that. "I am not. It is absolutely nothing for you to concern yourself with. Go to sleep."

"I'm not tired, I was in bed all day." Soren sat up a bit more. "But you shouted at her and I got really scared when you said you were going to make her leave. I don't want her to ever leave us, I love her. She's so nice and she's a really good teacher, and you shouldn't have been so mean to her." Soren was scooting himself up in the bed, somehow managing to give his father a disapproving glare. "It wasn't really her fault, you know. Everyone makes mistakes, you should be nicer."

"First of all, mind your cheek." Snape was trying to keep his emotions under control, but he was getting irritated. "Second of all, Ms. Cloutier made a serious error in judgment. I was very disappointed, and yes, I was angry. But we've talked about it and resolved it and there is nothing for you to worry about. So mind your own business and lay back down." He gave him one of his signature looks, hoping that would be sufficient.

"I'm not tired." Soren whined, crossing his arms defiantly.

"Nonetheless, you will lay down and close your eyes. Don't you dare argue with me, and if you have an ounce of self-preservation, you will wipe that insolent look off of your face and do as you're told, immediately."

Soren immediately put on his innocent face and moved down slightly into the bed, not wanting to push his father over the edge. "But what if I can't sleep?"

"Then you will stay in bed until you do. I'm in no mood to play games with you tonight, Soren. Now lay down and. Close. Your. Eyes." Snape pulled out his wand and darkened the room with a quick swoosh.

"Ohhhhh, look at the ceiling! Ms. Cloutier made that!" Soren was in awe of the charmed ceiling, watching the stars twinkle and the occasional comet shoot across the darkness.

Snape looked up and had to admit, she'd done a brilliant job. He knew he would have loved this as a child, it was both soothing and engaging, entrancing even. He could imagine that staring at it would help relax and induce sleep even in the most challenging of insomniacs. Perhaps he should have her charm his ceiling.

"Father?"

"What is it now?" Snape clipped, the irritation growing in his voice.

"Can you tell me a story?"

"We've been through this. You're going to bed early as a punishment, and it does not come with a storytime. But if you ask me one more time, it will absolutely come with a smacked bottom. Now lay down." He clicked his fingers and pointed to the mattress.

Soren was wholly unaffected. "No, not a bedtime story. A story about my mummy, it's getting hard to remember her. I can't hear her voice anymore and I'm scared I'm going to forget her. Can you just tell me one thing? Please…just so I don't forget?"

Snape felt like a knife had been shoved through his heart. He wasn't emotionally prepared for these kinds of conversations, and he was immediately reminded why he should leave this job to Marie. "Fine. But lay your head all the way down and close your eyes first."

Soren quickly complied, pulling his rabbit up to his chin and closing his eyes, turning toward his father and wrapping the duvet over his shoulder. "I'm ready!"

It took Snape a minute to think of something, he hadn't seen the woman in 8 years, and she hadn't exactly been on his mind the whole time. Nonetheless, he reached into his memory, not wanting to disappoint his son. "Your mother had long brown hair, and expressive, big beautiful brown eyes. Just like yours. When she smiled, all of her teeth were visible, including that one tooth on the upper right that was slightly crooked. When she laughed, she would cover her mouth and grip her abdomen while she rocked back and forth. She liked to laugh, she had a wonderful sense of humor."

"I remember that!" Soren said, smiling. "And she always smelled like candy."

"She did. Strawberries, and butter mixed with sugar."

Soren reached a hand out. "I miss her." His hand hung in the air, an open bid to his father for a small bit of affection.

"I know. I'm sorry." Snape looked at the little boy's hand for several more seconds before he finally put his own hand on top, pushing it gently back toward the bed. "Now go to sleep."

"Goodnight father," Soren rotated his fingers around in a desperate attempt to grasp his father's hand one more time, desperate for comfort and connection.

But before the boy could intertwine his fingers fully, Snape lifted his hand from the bed, resting it briefly on the top of Soren's head. "Goodnight. Stay in bed. I don't think I need to tell you what you can expect if I have to come back here again tonight."

"No, sir." Soren said, the emptiness gripping his heart at the obvious rejection. He pulled his rabbit in closer in a bid to fill the resounding void.

Snape quickly pulled the duvet up a few inches. "Good. Now sleep." Without another word, he tucked the blanket around the boy rather brusquely and walked to the door, closing it behind him.

Soren stilled, freezing in place for several moments while trying to make sense of all of his feelings. Then, without warning, he let out a guttural cry, the grief in his heart being too much to cope with. He curled up into a ball to try to soothe himself, his rabbit held tightly in the middle of his arms. Despite his best efforts, there was an emptiness he couldn't process and he sobbed hard into his pillow. After several minutes of heaving cries, he rolled onto his back and stared up to the ceiling, finding comfort in the twinkling stars and the colorful galaxies spinning in the darkness. He imagined that somewhere up there, the spirit of his mother was looking down on him. He kept watching, searching for her eyes and her smile, silent tears streaming down his face until his eyes became heavy, and he finally fell asleep.

Marie waited until she heard Lord Kent close his door to the study. She was sitting downstairs, frozen, waiting to get it all over with. She figured she'd give him a few minutes to get settled, but she was way too nervous to wait too long.

Finally she crept up the stairs, hovering for several moments before she finally knocked on the door. Immediately she heard the familiar "Enter", and she reached for eww. doorknob, closing her eyes as she twisted it and pushed it forward. Without pausing or looking up, she made her way toward the desk.

"Sit, please," he said gently.

Marie tossed several pieces of parchment onto the desk. "I'm really sorry, I didn't get to finish it all. I tried, but I need your help."

Snape collected the papers, tapping them gently on the desk without taking his eyes off of Marie. "Take a breath, Ms. Cloutier, and sit down."

She ran a hand through her hair and dropped into the chair. "OK. But I really did try, I just…it's a lot. And, well, I didn't finish. And before you tell me off, I really did work on it the whole time and I just couldn't get to it all, and I don't really know what I should put down because I am not sure I should even be doing this. I probably shouldn't even have put all those things on my list, I just…I don't know."

"I see." Snape took his time carefully reading through the papers, keeping his face still. He knew he had to be extremely careful how he reacted. She had poured her greatest vulnerabilities onto this parchment, and he wanted to treat them with care. Nearly two minutes ticked by before he finally looked up from the parchment.

"You did a very good job, Ms. Cloutier. I'm quite pleased."

Marie's body flooded with endorphins at the praise, and she finally felt herself relax into the chair. "Oh, well, it's obviously not finished, but…"

"That's fine. I can help you from here if you'd like."

It was the most soothing his voice had ever been and Marie finally had enough guts to look up at him. "Yes, please, I'd like that."

"Good girl."

Marie melted completely and before she knew what was happening, Lord Kent had stood up, taken her by the arm and was now escorting her to the couch. She allowed herself to be guided, completely until she felt her body make contact with the cold leather sofa. He took a seat next to her, her parchment in his hands.

"Shall we begin at the top or would you prefer to walk me through it yourself?"

"Um, at the top is fine, I guess."

"Very well. You started with #1– Do not forget my wand…seems rather straight-forward but should we engage further?"

Marie nodded. "Sure."

"Very good. Tell me, Ms. Cloutier, where do you keep your want when you're not using it?"

One by one, they went through her list, him peppering her with questions and her doing her best to answer them truthfully.

Snape refrained from making any judgments, keeping his voice low and his face neutral, although he was quite surprised at some of the things she'd put on the list, there was definitely more to Marie than he knew. She was opening up about her past and her struggles as a grad student, and he was grateful that she trusted him enough to share. This was turning out even better than he'd hoped for, and he was quite looking forward to mentoring her in this way.

"Tell me, Ms. Cloutier, what are your biggest aspirations?"

"I want to build my school…and just live a happy life. Have a family, maybe, friends, you know, the basic stuff. I don't need a lot, I just want to feel fulfilled."

"I see. And what do you think is stopping you from achieving that?"

Marie shrugged. "I mean, nothing in particular. I'm pretty goal-oriented, I've always achieved what I set out to achieve, I'm just…worn down, I guess. The last few years have been tough. I've always been so independent my whole life that people always assume I have everything under control. But no one ever really asks me if I need anything or I'm doing OK, so I guess I've never learned how to ask for help or support."

Snape nodded his head. "That is rather exhausting. It sounds like burn-out, Ms. Cloutier. I'm sure as an educator, you're familiar with the term."

Marie nodded. "Yes. But now I don't know how to fix everything."

"Well, if you're asking for my help, I will help you. One thing at a time. Is this everything? Or are there other things you haven't written down?"

No, it's not everything. If you knew the whole truth, you probably wouldn't even bother with me. "Yes, that's all," she lied with a forced smile. She'd avoided telling him just how bad things were with her financial situation, instead framing it as wanting to save for building her future school. She had not told him about the lien on her parent's home and their vault, and the fact that she was hiding it from them and that she was currently ignoring all attempts by the goblins to contact her about repayment. In fact, even her parents didn't know exactly where she was right now, no one had her address or a current means to contact her. She definitely hadn't told him about Soren's wand and how it was eating away at her. Part of her really wanted to, but she was way too ashamed.

"Then I'm sure you'll start to feel better soon. Let's start with the wand. I want you to check for it everytime you enter or leave a room. When you open a door, you will reach for your wand, touch it, and then proceed through the door. If you've forgotten it, you will obviously retrieve it, and make a note of that. I will ask you at each meal if you have it with you, and at the end of the day, you will let me know how you've done. Does that seem acceptable to you?"

"Yes. So what happens if I forget it?"

"What do you think should happen if you forget it? This is your plan, Ms. Cloutier," he replied matter-of-factly.

Marie couldn't explain it, but it embarrassed her more having to come up with her own consequences, she would much rather just have him tell her. "I don't really know. I feel like if I realize I've forgotten it before I leave the room, then nothing. But if I somehow manage to forget it long after I've left a room, or when you ask me, then maybe…I don't know?" Marie's ears burned thinking about it. "This is ridiculous, I feel really dumb."

Snape raised an eyebrow. "Why? It is a perfectly normal way to change a habit or introduce more organization in your life. Some people keep a rubber band around their wrist and snap it every time they have a negative thought or impulse. Others fine themselves or pay out to a friend when they don't go for a run or show up at the gym. Or they deny themselves dessert if they don't meet their calorie goals. I've also known people who made themself run sprints or do pushups for every cigarette they had when trying to quit. I don't think there's anything unusual about giving oneself consequences, Ms. Cloutier. You seem averse, are you frightened to hold yourself accountable? Are you not sure you're ready to make changes?"

Fuck, how does he read me like that. This is nuts! She feigned nonchalance. "I guess. But I don't really know…maybe you can give me some suggestions. To be honest, I've never really needed consequences, so I don't have a clue. Since you've done this before, you probably know what works."

Snape had to suppress his most depraved thoughts, if they were doing things his way, he could think of a lot of consequences he'd enjoy enforcing, none of which were professionally appropriate. Although he had an inkling that she'd probably respond very well to it. But he forced himself to remain passive.

"Well, let's see. You could write a hundred lines of I will not forget my wand when I leave a room. You could go to bed thirty minutes early and deny yourself that time reading. You could do something physical- pushups or sit-up or wall-sits or go for a run. I think given your precarious financial situation, a fine in this case would be inappropriate, but it is up to you, the possibilities are endless. What do you think would be the most effective deterrent for you?"

Marie wanted to disappear into the ground, all of them made her feel so…childish. That being said, she hadn't actually forgotten her wand after the first incident, so she was sure she'd never have to actually worry about them. "I guess, taking away some of my reading time seems fine."

Snape had to hide a smirk at her clear discomfort. "The other option is we put everything together. We'll make one big chart- you check everything off during the day and in the evening you present it to me and we review it. Perhaps just the effort of having a checklist will be sufficient. You'll get a gold star if you do things well, and a black mark if you do not. We will reward your gold stars, and there will be consequences for the black marks. For example, three black marks in a week, and you will spend your day off in the Manor, rather than out gallivanting with your friends. It will still be your day off in the sense that you will not be responsible for Soren in any way, but, we can add lines or chores or reflection time if that is required. We'll see how things progress."

"OK…I guess that could work."

"This is for you, Ms. Cloutier, so if you do not think that will work or you do not want to do it that way, you should say so. I want your enthusiastic agreement. This is not for my benefit."

Marie smiled sheepishly. "I'm not sure how enthusiastic I'm supposed to be about this, but I am willing to give it all a try."

Snape stood up and returned to his desk, pulling out several pieces of parchment and sitting down in his chair. "Very well. So let's write your daily and weekly check-list. Daily you will:

Wake up by 7

Check for your wand, make sure you do not leave the room without it

Go for a brief walk, meditate, or do yoga before breakfast

Brush teeth, do skincare routine

Eat breakfast, no more than one cup of coffee (Lord Kent will do a wand-check)

Take time to tidy your room- make your bed, organize what you need for the day. Wand check before you leave your room before going to class.

Check wand before you leave the classroom for lunch (Lord Kent will do a wand-check at lunch)

Take time to rest after lunch- rest or do something related to self-care. Write in a journal, write a letter to a friend or family, read, meditate

Check wand before leaving room/entering the classroom

Spend 30-60 mins before dinner reading, resting, or engaging in self-care (Lord Kent will spend this time with Soren reading or doing schoolwork).

Wand check at dinner

Check-in with Lord Kent at 8pm after Soren goes to bed

Lights out by 11:00pm- no more reading, writing, etc.

"Now then, each week, you will do the following at some point at your discretion":

Send one letter to your parents

Reach out to one friend, whether by letter or to meet them in person during day off

Over the weekend spend 1 hour organizing finances, making budgets, business plans for your school, paying bills, etc. Lord Kent is available to help

Snape wrote everything out clearly on a piece of parchment, then with his wand his tapped it and said a few incantations and all of it was neatly bound in a leather journal with a calendar, a space for notes, and a check box for each item. He called Marie over to sit across from him with a quick gesture, and handed her the journal over the desk.

"We'll start there. Perhaps just the accountability to yourself will go a long way. Sometimes even just the small dopamine hit of being able to put a checkmark in the box will be enough motivation to get you through without needing much else. It will also establish a good routine, and hopefully within a few weeks, this routine will become second-nature and you will no longer need a checklist. We'll see."

Marie looked at the journal in her hands, she couldn't lie to herself, she was kind of looking forward to this whole project. "This is great. Thank you, Lord Kent."

"As for things like losing your temper, or arguing with me about Soren, we'll take them on a case by case basis. We can discuss it in our evening check-in and if you feel it is not in line with the goals you're trying to achieve, we'll add a black mark to your tally."

"So, every night I just check in with you?"

"Yes. At 8 o'clock or after Soren goes to bed. You will keep track of your checklist, and I will keep track of your stars and your black marks," he said. "But you will need to decide what they mean. How you plan to trade them in."

"I don't really know…"

Snape put up a hand. "Think about it. We can discuss it tomorrow again when you check in after your first day on your new plan. Again, if at any point along the way, this isn't working for you, or it is working for some things but not others, I want you to let me know so we can make the adjustments."

"OK."

"Very well, that is a lot for one day. Tomorrow we'll start fresh. Do you have any other questions? Anything else you'd like to say?"

"Just that I really appreciate your help. And that I'm grateful you're giving me another chance. I really want to do my best, so thank you for being willing to help me." Marie was being sincere, and she felt a sense of relief at handing off some of this. Just knowing someone else cared that she was burnt out and needed help and was willing to do it. Even if she did feel silly about needing it. He had actually built quite a bit of rest and "self-care" into her plan and she hoped that would make a big difference in how she felt moving forward.

"It's my pleasure, Ms. Cloutier. I am very proud of you for being so honest and open, I know that can be difficult, but it shows me that you're committed. I realize this requires a great deal of trust on your part as well, and I want you to know that I take that very seriously."

His words of praise should have felt good, but instead, they made her nauseous. She knew there were still several things she was hiding from him and it made her feel sick. He was being so kind and genuine in his care for her and his desire to help her, she just wished she'd have been honest with him sooner. "Thank you Lord Kent. I really appreciate that."

"Now then, lights are out at 11pm, but you would probably benefit from a nice long bath and an early bedtime tonight. It has been a trying few days. Up to you, of course, but if I pass by your room and see a light on even a minute after 11pm, that is going in your book." He gave her his sternest look, but she could tell he was putting it on. "We wouldn't want to start off with a black mark on our very first day, now would we?"

"No, believe me, I'm too tired. I plan to go to bed early."

"Good girl." He stood and walked over to her chair, offering her a hand to get up.

"We'll see how you do on your own, but if you continue to stay up reading past lights out, I will charm every book in this manor to slam shut at 10pm, so keep that in mind." He gave her a small smirk.

Marie smiled back at him. "I don't think that will be necessary."

"We'll see." He walked her to the door and opened it up. "Goodnight, Ms. Cloutier. Take some rest."

"Goodnight, Lord Kent." She had to squeeze past him to get through the door and although they didn't touch, she could feel the heat radiating off of his body, and the delicious but subtle smell that she was becoming addicted to. Sandalwood, leather, the smell of rain in the forest, a hint of musk. She tried to breathe it in without being obvious about it.

The walk to her room felt like she was floating, like an enormous weight had been lifted, while at the same time she was intoxicated. His authority, his organization, the fact that he had given her a checklist (although technically it was her own checklist, but he was helping her with it). Her heart was racing as she turned on her bath, mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted from all of it.

As she sank into the water, she closed her eyes and all she could think of was him. And how she wanted to please him, but how she craved his stern looks and his attention, his control…it was like having a crush on her teacher, but so much more complex. He was her boss, but whatever had just happened had crossed over some line. He hadn't been inappropriate in any way, but they were far outside of normal territory

AUTHOR'S NOTE:
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