AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Thank you for your AMAZING comments, they give me life! There's a lot of fluff and bonding ahead, I hope you enjoy!

Snape burst through the door of the classroom, his teaching robes flowing, his wand at the ready, making a dramatic entrance despite the fact the only one waiting for him was a small 7 year-old boy seated enthusiastically at his desk, watching the man's every move in quiet awe.

"You will pay close attention to everything I say, and you will remain seated for the duration of this class. If you wish to ask a question or clarify anything, you will raise your hand and wait to be called on. There will be no speaking out of turn, no fidgeting, and no distractions while I am speaking. Is that clear?" Snape stared at Soren from the front of the room, his arms clasped behind his back, his countenance leaving no room for questions.

"Yes, father."

"And you should be clear that, whilst we are in the classroom, I am acting in the capacity of your teacher, not your father, so you will address me as 'Sir' or "Professor."

Soren's eyes went wide and he nodded his head. "Yes, sir."

"Very good."

Snape paced slowly around the front of the classroom while he spoke. "I realize you are still quite young, but I would like to use this opportunity today to explain some of the theory behind potion-making and the ways in which some of the plants and other ingredients imbue potions with specific magical properties. If you can understand the ways these ingredients act on their own, and what they contribute when they are in combination with one another, you can begin to understand the concepts that lay the foundation for potioneering."

Soren was completely engaged, he'd never seen his father in this way before and he leaned forward in his chair, excited and entranced.

"I want you to imagine each ingredient in the same way you would a unique human being. Like people, every ingredient has its own 'personality'— special properties, strengths and weaknesses. Some situations will bring out their positive qualities, whilst others can bring out their negative side. They may be easy to work with in some circumstances, while others make them difficult or even impossible to work with. You may find that certain ingredients that bolster particular qualities, whilst others mute or repress them. It may seem complicated, but once you learn how each ingredient affects one another, you can begin to predict how they will behave, allowing you to combine them in any number of ways to create new potions."

Snape realized that some of these concepts might be far above Soren's level of comprehension, but he was going to try anyway. He would see what the boy understood and adjust himself accordingly. "Do you understand what I am saying so far?"

"Yes, sir," Soren said, nodding his head.

"Very good. Let's take an example, then. Do you know what this is?" Snape pulled a specimen out of his pocket and placed it on Soren's desk.

"Is this Wiggentree bark, father?" Soren asked innocently. "You showed it to me in the garden that time, remember?"

Impressive. "It is indeed. Very good, Soren. Also, please remember right now I am acting as your professor, not your father. But yes, you are correct."

Soren smiled as he turned the bark over in his hands, scratching it slightly and then bringing it to his nose, familiarizing himself with the way it looked, felt, and smelled.

"Can you name any of its properties?" Snape hoped he hadn't pushed too far, he was curious to see how much Soren knew, but didn't want to discourage him by creating unreasonable expectations. Rubbish. Stop letting Ms. Cloutier get in your head, he's not going to be traumatized because you asked him a simple question.

Soren sat in contemplation for a moment, holding the bark and looking up nervously at his father. "I don't know. I remember you said you use it in Polyjuice Potion, but I don't know what that is." There was slight hesitation in his voice and a disappointed look in his eyes as he handed the piece of bark back to his father.

"Excellent memory, Soren. You're quite right," Snape encouraged. To be honest, he was pleasantly surprised, he had no idea the boy was paying that much attention to him that day in the garden. Now that he knew Soren could absorb things, he'd have to make more of an effort to spend time with him pointing out all of the magical plants in the garden. "Polyjuice is a potion that can be used to alter the appearance of the person who takes it into the appearance of someone else."

"Really?" Soren's eyes went wide with delight. "So you can change into anyone?"

"Indeed. Provided you have hair from the person you wish to transform into."

"Does it hurt?"

"It depends. It can be uncomfortable during the shift, particularly as bones grow and shift. But it is short-lived, and not generally very painful."

"Wow!"

"So if I told you that Wiggentree bark was an essential ingredient in Polyjuice potion, what kind of properties do you think would be important for a potion that can change one person's form into another."

Soren shook his head, "I don't—"

Snape put his hand out. "No, I don't want to hear that. I don't expect you to know the answer, but I want to challenge you to think critically. Take a moment to reflect. Be creative. It's perfectly acceptable to be wrong, I just want you to try."

The little boy fidgeted in his seat, not wanting to disappoint his father, but his mind was swirling with anxiety and self-doubt, and he couldn't think clearly at all.

Realizing that Soren was struggling, Snape continued. "Let's try this. I will give you some information about some of the other ingredients, then perhaps you will get a clearer picture of the properties required for this potion to function. Boomslang skin. It comes from the African boomslang snake. A snake known to feed on chameleons. Do you know what those are?"

"No, sir."

"They are small lizards that can change their color and appearance rapidly to blend in with their environment. Since this is a main food source for the boomslang, the snake itself takes on some of those magical properties. When used in Polyjuice Potion, boomslang skin—which comes from the shedding of this snake—is used to ensure that there is only a change on the outside, while allowing the person to remain the same underneath. Does that make sense? If I were to take Polyjuice Potion, my appearance would change, but my mind and the person I am inside, will not be altered. Boomslang works with the Wiggentree bark to enhance some of its special properties, while also ensuring that the change is only on the outside."

"Yes, sir. I understand."

"Good. Now then, another ingredient is Fluxweed. This plant is one that has very different magical properties depending on when it is picked. For Polyjuice, it must be harvested at the full-moon, which then imbibes it with properties that work almost like a time clock, ensuring that any change is temporary. The length of transformation will depend on how much you add; the more you add, the longer the transformation will last. However, there is a limit. Too much Fluxweed and the potion becomes unstable, and the transformation may start to happen at different times rather than synchronized, or there may be complications with some of the features not returning to the way they were before. So one has to work within a fairly small range for the Fluxweed to work properly."

Soren nodded his head. "I understand. Just like when we're baking. Ms. Cloutier says if you don't measure correctly, not enough baking soda can make your cookies flat. But too much and they get too heavy and taste yucky. That's why it is important to measure correctly."

"That's absolutely right. Precision in potion-making is essential. Now then. Why don't you give me some ideas about Wiggentree bark."

When Soren froze, Snape paused another minute before adding. "Do you remember what else did I told you about this tree?"

Soren bit his lip slightly as the memory of his father in the garden played in his head. "You said that it changes the way it looks depending on what is around it. If it is planted near other plants and trees that need shade, it will grow lots of leaves. If there are birds, it will stay thorny to protect the nests. And if it grows next to a pond it will flower and drop seeds and fruit for the fish and pond animals."

Again, Snape raised an eyebrow in astonishment. "That's correct. I'm very impressed that you remembered that, Soren. Well done. Now take it one step further. What do you think the bark of a tree such as this might do in a potion like Polyjuice?"

Soren was tempted to shrug his shoulders, but he desperately wanted to please his father. He fidgeted with his quill for a minute before he whispered. "Maybe it helps people change the way they look based on what is added with it?"

Snape had rarely ever given points as a professor at Hogwarts, but if ever he had an impulse to reward a student, it was now. "That is exactly right. Wiggentree bark is one of the main ingredients that results in transformation. When paired with boomslang skin, which as we said keeps the inside of the person the same, and Fluxweed which causes a temporary change, these three ingredients make up the core components of Polyjuice."

A huge smile burst forth on Soren's face at the praise, he'd never seen his father so clearly pleased with him.

"Now then, we will go through each of the other ingredients one by one. This is by far a more complex potion than most, but if you can comprehend this, it will go a long way to enhancing your ability to understand some of the most important elements of potion-making."

With a flick of his wand, all of the ingredients for Polyjuice appeared on the board alongside a brief description of each of their properties. Snape continued to lecture while Soren leaned forward, paying rapt attention to his every word. As a result, the morning passed quickly for both of them.

"Now then, potion-making is comprised of far more than just the ingredients and their properties. You must also take into account the way in which you prepare them, how you add them, when you add them, in what order— even how many stirs, which direction, and whether it is with a glass rod or a wooden stirrer—all of this will have an effect on the final outcome. But we will discuss those concepts on a different day. Hopefully this is suffidient to start. Do you have any questions?"

"Can you add more than one person's hair to the Polyjuice?"

Snape paused for a moment to think through the question. "No. If you did, you would get an incomplete transformation, or possibly a random combination of the two. There would be no way to know which properties would come through from what sample. It could even result in each eye being different, facial features that are a mix of the two, or even one arm or leg shorter than the other. It would be absolute chaos. If it even worked at all. In a complex potion such as this, it is possible the potion itself will feel overloaded and simply combust."

"Oh. Did you ever try it?"

"Of course not. I have absolutely no desire to blow myself to pieces or to turn into some kind of Frankenstein monster. One has to be very careful experimenting with potions like this, it could result in permanent damage or disfigurement, which is precisely why I do not want you anywhere near here when I am experimenting with new potions." Snape had responded quite quickly, but he couldn't stop his mind from running with the idea. Would it be possible somehow? To pick and choose which properties came through from two different samples? Was there a way to even make a potion like this stable enough for consumption? He knew the idea was ludacris, but he filed it away.

"Now then, before we go to lunch, I want to go over my rules for the potions lab. Are you listening?"

"Yes, sir," Soren said, sitting up straight and looking his father right in the eyes. He'd been on his best behavior all morning, although it hadn't been too hard, he'd really enjoyed having his father in the classroom. He loved Ms. Cloutier, and he always had fun and learned a lot with her, but today's lesson had challenged him in a different way and he was reveling in having his father's full attention for so many hours.

"As you know, the potions lab is an extremely dangerous place, even for wizards much older than you. There are ingredients there that on their own can cause severe harm. Certainly there are all manner of potions that could be very dangerous, even life-threatening. So you are not to touch anything. Not a bottle, not a stirrer, not even a piece of dust you see on the floor. Nothing. Everything in that room is completely off-limits to you. You will sit where I tell you to and remain as still as a statue whilst I am brewing. You will not speak unless I ask you a question, and if at any point you violate any of these rules, you will be promptly removed and banned from the lab until further notice. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir. I promise I'll follow the rules." Soren swallowed, knowing that there was no room for error, but he was determined to do everything right. There was no way he wanted to miss out on his chance to be with his father while he brewed.

"You had better," Snape said, staring down at him with his most foreboding look. "I mean it, Soren, there is a zero tolerance policy for any nonsense when we are down there. One strike and you're out."

"I understand, I'll be good."

"Very well. Do not make me regret this decision. I also hope it is extremely clear that the only reason you are being allowed into the lab is because you are under my direct supervision. This is a one-time exception. Otherweise, the rules still remain in place— barring an extreme emergency, you are not permitted to even step foot on the dungeon steps without my express permission, and the entire dungeon is completely off-limits for you under normal circumstances, is that clear?"

"Yes, father." Soren nodded.

"And if you ever ever disobey me and enter the potions lab without me—mark my word—it will be the biggest regret of your young life." Snape stared him down to make sure there was no confusion on this matter.

"I won't, I promise."

With a nod of his head, Snape lightened his voice. "Now then, take a few minutes, tidy up, wash your hands, and we will have lunch. I will see you in the dining room in fifteen minutes."

Snape took these few minutes before lunch as an opportunity to check-in on Marie. He knocked softly on her door, not wanting to wake her but also not wanting to barge in without permission. He put his hand on the door and waited patiently until he heard a strained voice say "Come in" in what was barely above a whisper.

With the curtains closed, her room remained dark, the only light coming from the embers in her hearth and a small lamp on her bedside table that illuminated her face with candlelight. If not for the dark circles under her eyes, she looked almost angelic with the soft golden glow reflecting off of her pale skin.

"How are you feeling?" Snape asked gently from the foot of her bed, not wanting to crowd her.

"Weak, but a bit better."

"Any more fevers?"

"I don't think so."

Snape stared at the tray of breakfast still sitting by her bed. "You should really try and eat. It will give you strength, help you heal more quickly."

"I know, I just can't right now. I have no appetite." Her dry lips cracked as she spoke, and her mouth felt like it was made of cotton.

"While I would be much more pleased to see you eat something, I understand that you're not hungry. That being said, I know I gave you specific instructions to push fluids. You look completely dehydrated." Snape's voice took on a small edge and he circled around to her bedside, picking up her wrist and feeling for her pulse, which was thready and weak. He turned her hand over and pinched the skin just beyond her knuckles, pulling it up slightly. Instead of snapping back into place as it should have, it tented, and a scowl passed over Snape's face.

"You are dangerously dehydrated, Ms. Cloutier. How much have you had to drink? It's been several hours and the pitcher I left by your bedside is still nearly full."

Marie blushed slightly. "I don't know. Just a few sips, I suppose. I had a little bit of tea…but mostly I've been trying to rest."

Snape was clearly displeased and he leered down at her, sharpening his tone. "You were given two very simple instructions. One was to rest, the other was to hydrate. One out of two isn't good enough. You've had high fevers through the night, you have a productive cough and an infection in your lungs. You need fluids, desperately."

"I'll try to drink more," she said, hoping that would get him off of her back.

"Oh, you'll do more than try." Snape grabbed her glass from the table and filled it with water. "Drink this. All of it."

"I will. Just leave it there."

"No, you will drink it now, while I am here to make sure it is done. And then I will send Tinny for you to have another glass in half an hour and every subsequent hour after that. And if you are not visibly improved by the time I finish Soren's afternoon lessons, I will resort to far less pleasant methods to ensure you are getting enough fluids. This is not a game, Ms. Cloutier. I do not wish to see you end up in St. Mungo's because you are too stubborn to follow my instructions."

"You're teaching Soren?" Marie was both surprised and amused, although she barely had the energy to allow a small smile to cross her lips.

"Well, someone has to. I refuse to let him waste another day because his governess is a complete failure at looking after herself. And don't change the subject, Ms. Cloutier, I was in the middle of giving you a stern talking-to, but it appears you didn't hear a thing I said. Do I need to repeat myself?"

"No. I'm listening. I'll drink more, I promise. I've just been too weak and tired to pick up the glass."

"Then you need to say so, so that Tinny and I can assist you." There was exasperation in his voice, but mostly it was concern. Usually he felt he could make his point with some scolding and a few threats, but at the moment it didn't seem quite sufficient, so he decided to up the ante with some shame and guilt.

"If you're not concerned enough about your own health to ask for help, perhaps you should think about Soren instead. Do you have any idea what it did to him to see you collapse onto the floor like that? He was inconsolable. It doesn't take much thought to recognize how extremely traumatizing it was for him after witnessing his own mother suffer terribly from a fatal ailment. He was beside himself all day, worrying incessantly that you were going to die and leave him as well. I did my best to reassure him, promising that I would do everything possible to take care of you and make sure nothing bad happens to you. So it would be extremely disappointing if we had to cart you off to St. Mungos because you were too stubborn to drink enough fluids. I will not allow you to do that to yourself, or to Soren. He's been through enough."

It was a low blow, although Snape meant every word. Of course he wanted Marie to be well—that was his first priority—but equally important to him was ensuring that he kept his word to Soren. He knew, whatever it took, he wouldn't let anything happen to her.

Marie looked devastated, she hadn't even thought about how triggering it must have been for Soren to see her in that state. She felt the emotions well up inside of her, but she was far too dry for tears to gather in her eyes. "Is he OK?"

"How good of you to finally ask." Snape replied coldly. "You owe him an explanation and an apology when you are better. While no one can control being sick, I think we can both agree that you played quite a role in weakening yourself with your immature behavior. Soren doesn't need to know that, but I hope you will put his mind at ease so that he doesn't continue to worry that you will drop dead on him at any moment."

The look on Marie's face made it clear she was heartbroken, and while Snape would have gladly lectured her further, he turned his attention to the task at hand. "I hope you will keep him in mind as you search for the motivation to help yourself. Now sit up, you are going to finish this glass of water before I leave."

Marie put all of her effort into trying to push herself up, but she didn't have nearly enough energy, and the moment she raised her head, the blackness entered from the side of her vision and she felt like she might faint again. She reached up to press on her eyes and laid her head back down. "Wait."

When he saw she was struggling, Snape waited a moment before moving her effortlessly up to a sitting position, leaning her gently against the headboard. He brought the glass to her dry lips. "Come now, small sips."

Marie closed her eyes and let the cool water quench her parched mouth. As soon as it hit her tongue she realized just how thirsty she really was. She opened her mouth a little more and took a bigger sip, reveling in the feel of the cold liquid traveling down her throat and into her empty stomach, giving her a slight chill.

"There you go. That's a good girl," Snape crooned in encouragement "Keep going."

Once she'd emptied most of the glass, Snape set it down. "Take a small break. I don't want you to get sick. I must go, but Tinny will help you drink more in a few minutes."

"Thank you."

"If you want to thank me, you can do so by making sure you are in much better shape when I return later this afternoon. Tinny will also bring you some juice when he comes, you need the sugar and electrolytes. And I want you to have at least three more glasses of water over the next few hours. If you feel like having something else, let Tinny know. Whatever seems most palatable for you at the moment. And if you can possibly stand it, perhaps some broth or soup, but I won't push it."

Snape reached up and put a hand on her forehead to make sure her fever hadn't returned. When her skin felt cool beneath his palm, he dropped his hand to her chin, taking it between his thumb and fingers so he could lift her head and look her directly in the eye. "Can you promise me you will do this? Or do I need to make threats?" He raised a single eyebrow at her.

"I'll try."

"No, you will not try. You will do it. You do not want me resorting to the alternatives, I assure you."

"I'll do it. I promise." Marie had no idea what the alternatives were, but she imagined they were fairly unpleasant and she didn't think she could take much more humiliation. It was bad enough Lord Kent was seeing her like this, all sick and crusty with no makeup, laying in bed in her pajamas.

"Good. Now rest. I'll send Tinny up shortly to help you. If you need anything, you ask for Tinny right away. If you need potions for pain or nausea, or anything else, you have him come get me."

"I will. Thank you."

Snape refilled her glass once more and left it on the table before exiting her room and closing the door behind him. He really hoped she would listen to him this time. Even though he'd be a bit harsh with her, he knew she was struggling to get the fluids down. But he worried that the potions he was giving her might harm her kidneys if she remained this dehydrated, he would have to stop giving her the anti-infection potion and then he'd have no choice but to take her to St. Mungos. Once her kidneys were damaged, it was a short distance to complications that were far outside of his ability to manage safely on his own.

Out in the hallway, he exhaled slowly and made his way to his study, deciding he had no choice but to send a message to Harry, letting him know what was going on just in case he needed to make arrangements quickly.

"One step at a time. Walk. Slowly. These stairs are steep and the walls are slippery." Snape wondered if he shouldn't just appararate them both down there, or maybe even carry the boy down, but he knew both of these options would be unpleasant for Soren for different reasons.

"I am," Soren replied, clearly frustrated at having his father treating him like a baby.

Snape stopped and turned his head quickly, flashing Soren an angry look. "Mind your tone."

"Sorry." Soren put on his most contrite face and softest tone.

Snape grabbed Soren's wrist more tightly and resumed his slow descent down the stairs, his back flush against the outer wall, putting himself in front of the boy in case he slipped or fell.

Soren hated being treated like a helpless baby, and he was dying to complain that he was perfectly capable of walking down the steps by himself (he'd made it halfway down sprinting the last time), but he was almost certain if he said one more word, his father would take him straight back upstairs and that would be the end of it. So he huffed silently to himself as his father led him carefully down the winding stairs at a snail's pace.

When they reached the bottom, Soren expected him to let go of his wrist, but instead the man kept a tight hold, dragging him past several large cauldrons, all bubbling in various stages of brew before depositing him on a stool in the middle of the floor. There wasn't a single bench, table, cauldron, or shelf within arms reach, he felt like a human equivalent of a small desert island isolated in the vast, cluttered space of the dungeon.

"Sit here, do not move. Do not get up. Do not touch anything. Do not speak unless spoken to. Is that all clear?"

Part of Soren wanted to be irritated that he was being treated like a complete menace, but he was too excited. The lab was enormous, and he'd never seen anything like it before in his entire life. He turned his head slowly, taking it all in; thousands of jars and bottles on the shelves, books everywhere, cauldrons, stirrers, knives, and other contraptions he didn't recognize, it was the coolest place he'd ever seen.

Snape clicked his fingers loudly in front of the boy's face, his irritation evident. "Pay attention. If you're too distracted to listen, I will take you upstairs right now."

"No father, I'm paying attention!" Soren swung his head around and looked at the man with big round eyes. "You said not to move, not to touch anything, and not to talk. I won't!"

Satisfied, Snape gave him a nod. "Good. Then focus. I won't tell you again." He gave the boy one last look before walking over to the shelves and starting to pull out various ingredients.

One by one he reached for jars, sachets, and even a box that appeared to have something alive inside of it. "Gather all of your ingredients first. Always. You do not want to be halfway into your brewing when you realize you're out of one of them, or do not have enough. Measure everything twice. There is no room for error."

Soren sat perfectly still, watching his father as he separated everything out, putting the carefully measured ingredients into their own little bowls, dishes, and beakers. Then he carefully opened the box and reached in. From where he was sitting, Soren couldn't see what was in the box and he gradually started to stand so he could get a better look.

"Your backside had better still be on that stool," the man said loudly, his back to Soren as his hands hovered above the box, a large pair of forceps in his hand.

Soren sat back down quickly, wondering if the man had eyes in the back of his head.

Finally, Snape pulled out one of the large stag beetles, stunning it quickly with his wand before crushing it, dicing it into fine pieces and throwing it into a little dish. He did this three more times before he cleaned the surface and wiped his knife.

It took every ounce of self-control Soren had not to ask him what he was doing, wishing he could see things a little more clearly.

"I have selected four male stag beetles, and crushed and diced them with a silver knife." Snape said for Soren's benefit. "These beetles have fed on rotting hazel wood, a type of wood known for having properties that help locate and procure water. When used in a wand, hazel often allows the witch or wizard great control over the element of water."

Soren made a mental note, in case his father asked him about it later. Although he was starting to realize he could remember almost anything he's ever seen or heard without much effort at all, a skill he was finding to be very useful when it came to answering his father's questions.

After Snape had all of his ingredients prepared, measured, and put into individual bowls and dishes, he put them on a tray and brought them to the small table nearest to the empty copper cauldron where he would be brewing. He lit a fire with his wand, silently, and waited for the metal to heat.

"Today I am preparing a rehydration potion. It is fairly straightforward, but it can be a life-saving aid for people who need to make the most of what little water they have ingested, whether that is due to illness, or in the case of a witch or wizard who does not have access to water."

"Why don't they just do aguamenti? Then they can drink that." Soren sounded unimpressed.

Snape whipped his head around to stare at Soren. "What did I tell you about speaking out of turn? You will hold your questions until I ask you for them. Thankfully I have not yet started brewing, but if you cannot follow the rules, I will take you upstairs, and you will spend the remainder of the afternoon writing lines…or rather letters of the alphabet, in your case— until your hand falls off. Once I start brewing, I don't want to hear another word."

"Sorry," Soren mumbled under his breath, disappointed in himself for breaking the rules not even ten minutes in.

"But to answer your question, aguamenti is technically a summoning charm, it takes water from somewhere else, it does not create water from thin air, although theoretically it can amass small water droplets from the air. However, that would take a lot of effort and time for very little reward, although not impossible. But if there is no water nearby, or if the witch or wizard is too weak to summon it, aguamenti isn't going to be helpful. For example, if one was deep in the desert, or some other remote place without a nearby water source, aguamenti would be useless. Additionally, once they have summoned it, depending on the severity of their dehydration, they may not have the energy to summon enough of it to hydrate them properly. And, if you were listening, you would have heard me say that it can also be effective for those suffering from illnesses that prevent them from hydrating themselves properly. In the case of some stomach ailments, or perhaps with a patient who is unconscious or has injuries to the throat. It is useful for a vast number of situations. Now pay close attention."

Snape moved to fill his cauldron with water that he had carefully measured into a small beaker. "We will begin with water that comes from the Nubian springs of Egypt, which has magical healing properties and sets the perfect foundation for this potion. Next we will add in four split leaves from an aloe plant, harvested on the full moon." He stirred fifteen times counterclockwise.

Soren wished his stool was taller so he could see inside of the cauldron, but he remained firmly in place, not wanting to risk breaking another rule and being tossed out of the lab just as things were getting started.

"Next I am adding a paste made from mostly ginger and peppermint, with a small bit of spearmint. These have stomach soothing properties and are good for combatting nausea. They make for a much more palatable potion as well. This is particularly useful for patients who have been ill, as it is imperative that they tolerate the potion long enough for it to work. Next we will bring that to a boil and then add in valerian root, chamomile, and our crushed stag beetles."

As the minutes ticked by, Soren sat quietly on his stool, watching as his father tended to the potion, deep in focus. Occasionally he would forget to narrate, but Soren was beginning to get a sense of why it took so much concentration. He watched the way his father's hands moved at each step, the way he held his stirrer, the speed with which he stirred the cauldron, how he added each ingredient into the cauldron. He tried to commit each of those movements to memory, knowing even if he wasn't going to be brewing for quite some time, he would do well to copy his father's movements. It was clear, even to Soren who had never seen someone properly brew a potion, that his father possessed true skill.

Snape attempted to use the breaks between steps to explain the properties of each ingredient, trying not to lose focus, even though he could brew a simple potion like this in his sleep. Still, he was a perfectionist, and even after all these years, he put every ounce of his energy into his potion-making. It was extra important to him that this particular potion turned out perfectly in case he needed to give it to Marie.

"Finally, we add the scales of a freshwater mermaid and one single drop of unicorn blood— this is a highly prized ingredient and very difficult to find, so you want to be exceptionally careful with it. Once all of the ingredients are in the cauldron, we finish by placing a quartz crystal into the bottom of our cauldron before letting this mixture simmer for a minimum of one hour. After that, it needs to be bottled in a silver vial."

Soren was suitably impressed, and if he could have, he would have clapped for his father's extraordinary brewing, but instead he waited patiently for the man to address him.

"Now you may ask any questions."

"Why did you put the crystal in?"

"It has purifying properties. It will ensure that the potion attracts only the purest and cleanest of water."

"Oh."

"Do you understand how all of these ingredients worked together?"

"Yes, sir. Thanks for letting me watch. You're really good at that! When can I make a potion? I think I know how to do it now."

"Although many people use improper terminology, one doesn't 'make' a potion. It is proper to say one 'brews' it. And as I told you when you arrived, you will not be doing anything related to magic for years to come, you are far too young. I will teach you theory, and you will learn about ingredients, and their properties, and perhaps I will let you prepare them at some point far in the future, once you've turned 11. But you will not be doing any brewing until you are much, mucholder."

"Why not?," Soren said, sounding disappointed. "It's not like you need a wand or anything."

Snape raised an eye. "No, you do not need a wand, but you need a developed magical core. With each step—when you stir, when you add, when you prepare the ingredients—you are infusing them with your own magic and intention. If you do not have proper control of your magic, the magical properties of your ingredients may become unstable and Merlin knows how that could end up. Which is exactly why I won't allow you to touch anything right now." It is also exactly why your mother blew herself up attempting a healing potion.

"So now what do we do?"

"We do not do anything, I will take you upstairs and you can play outside in the gardens with Tinny for a bit while I do some other work and wait for this potion to finish brewing. Then we will have our reading time before supper."

"Can I go visit Ms. Cloutier?"

"No, you may not. She needs her rest. You will see her when she's feeling better."

"I wish I could draw her a picture, but I don't have any markers or colored pencils. Or even a color-changing quill." Soren looked at his father with his saddest puppy-dog eyes, wishing the man would relent and allow him to have some art supplies or something he could do for fun.

"You will not manipulate me into changing my mind, Soren, so you can quit pouting. Right now I want you to concentrate on other things. You may practice your reading, or you may go outside and get some exercise and fresh air. When I see you're suitably caught up in your studies and are managing your time effectively, I will consider allowing you to begin a hobby, but we're still far away from that. Now come along, let's get you upstairs." Snape reached out to take his hand, but the boy angrily pulled away.

"No!" Soren said, turning his body away.

"I beg your pardon?" Snape asked, incredulous at the sudden, unexpected defiance. "Watch yourself, little boy."

"I can walk by myself you know, I'm not a toddler," Soren snapped, upset that his father was being so unfair, and feeling a little more free to be difficult now that his time in the potions lab was at an end.

"You say you're not a toddler, yet you are certainly acting like one. And if you dare speak to me again in such a petulant tone again, you'll go directly over my knee." Snape stared him down for several seconds before grabbing his wrist and marching him toward the dungeon stairs. "And I'm quite aware that you know how to walk. However, these stairs are grossly uneven— some of the stones are loose or broken—there is no railing, and the walls can be slippery. I will not have you breaking your impertinent little neck just because you're intent on acting too big for your britches. Now you have two choices, either you stop this tantrum at once and allow me to help you walk up the stairs, or I toss you over my shoulder and carry you up that way. Your choice."

Soren scowled and spat out his response, his tone dripping in annoyance. "Fine, I'll walk then. Just hurry up."

Snape raised an eyebrow but kept his voice terrifyingly calm. "It appears you need far more than just some assistance to get up the stairs, you are clearly also in desperate need of an attitude adjustment. Very well, let's go." Before Soren could respond, Snape grasped him by the upper arm and pushed him up the first stair, staying one step behind him. "After you."

Soren turned around to look at him with regret, a single hand snaking behind him to cover his bum. "I'm sorry, father, I didn't mean to be rude."

"Move your hand, Soren, I'm not going to smack you on the stairs for Merlin's sake, my whole goal is to get you up to the parlor in one piece. Now face forward, put your hand on the wall, and walk slowly, one step at a time. I'm holding tight to your other arm, so if you slip, I will not let you fall. Just focus and go slowly. I will deal with your abysmal attitude when we get upstairs."

Soren did exactly as he was told, going extra slow, hoping that if he was particularly cooperative, maybe his father would change his mind by the time they made it to the parlor. Although he knew that was wishful thinking.

When they reached the top of the stairs, Snape kept a firm hold on Soren's arm, using his wand to close and lock the door behind them. Without missing a beat, he walked Soren over to the couch and sat down, positioning the boy to his right before releasing him.

"Please, father, I'm sorry." Soren pleaded. "I didn't mean to be rude! I'm sorry!"

Snape was unfazed as he tucked away his wand and rolled up his right sleeve. As he spoke, he kept his voice completely even and calm, as though he were carrying out any normal daily activity. "You should know by now, when I generously give you an opportunity to modify your behavior, you should take it. If you don't, rest assured I will do it for you." And with that, he reached up and took Soren by the arm, pulling him over his lap in one fell swoop. Before Soren even had a chance to say anything, Snape brought his hand down hard on the boy's backside. He gave him a good dozen whacks before he stopped, making sure he ended with two particularly hard smacks to the his sit spots. Snape didn't consider this a true punishment by any stretch, just a short, sharp correction to get Soren back in line. When he finished, he pulled the boy onto his feet and stood, leering down at him with a hand on his shoulder. "Are you ready to behave respectfully now or do you need some time in the corner to reflect on it?"

"No, sir. I'll behave respectfully." Soren didn't cry, but there were tears welling in his eyes. His bum was stinging quite a bit, but it was his pride that was especially wounded. He'd been desperate to prove that even if he was only seven, he was capable, clever, and grown up enough to start learning magic. But instead he'd been hauled over his father's knee and spanked like the little kid he was, putting him promptly back in his place. "I'm sorry, father."

"I've had to tell you several times today to mind your tone and watch how you speak to me and I do not appreciate having to repeat myself. Hopefully that little smacking will be a sufficient enough reminder to behave. But I'm warning you, Soren, if I hear one more disrespectful tone or cheeky reply, we will go straight to the study where your trousers will come down and you'll get a proper hiding. Am I clear?"

"Yes, father." Soren was feeling especially sorry for himself at the moment, but he tried not to let any tears fall.

"Very well, then let's move on. You were rude, you got a few very well-deserved smacks, and now it is over. There's no reason to sulk over it. Now then, shall we have some tea? Then you can go outside for a bit before we do our reading session."

Soren nodded, wiping away two stray tears with the back of his hand.

Snape gave him a few fatherly pats on the shoulder. "That's enough. Chin up, Soren, you've been punished and now it's over. Now take a seat and we'll enjoy some tea and biscuits whilst you tell me about the most interesting thing that you learned today. I must admit, I was very impressed with how intuitive you were in understanding magical properties of different ingredients. Hopefully when you get to Hogwarts, you'll excel in Potions, just like your father." Snape settled himself into his armchair, calling for Tinny to bring them tea.

A genuine smile appeared on Soren's face, it was the first time he felt like his father really believed he was good at something. And even though he was disappointed that he'd ended things on such a sour note, his father didn't seem in the least bit angry, if anything he seemed proud. So he sat down on the sofa and tried not to dwell too much on his stinging backside.

"I liked learning about the Polyjuice potion and the Wiggentree bark. But my favorite part was watching you make that potion, I learned a lot watching you and I liked being in the potions lab."

"Well, hopefully Ms. Cloutier will be better soon, but I imagine there might be other opportunities to do some potions work with me if you're interested. And you did very well today following my instructions. With the exception of one or two minor slip-ups, I was overall quite pleased. You've proven that you are capable of being trusted to accompany me in the lab, so I imagine there will be more opportunities for you to do so in future."

Soren blushed slightly at the compliment, and the fact that his father hadn't brought up his deplorable attitude at the end of the session. Although the man was incredibly strict, Soren did appreciate that once something had been dealt with, he didn't usually bring it up again.

"Thank you, father. I'll do even better next time, I promise. I want to learn everything from you! Then one day I can be the best at potions, justlike you."

"I am confident that with enough hard work, you will be an exceptional potions student. You have plenty of time."

Just then, Tinny arrived with a pop, tea service in hand. He set it down on the table and looked at Snape. "Yous has a letter that came by owl, Lord Kent."

"Oh?" Snape raised an eyebrow. "From whom?"

"Harry Potter," Tinny replied, handing him the note.

Snape opened the letter and read through the familiar chicken scratch hand-writing, realizing that it hadn't improved at all since the man was a first year. He skimmed through it quickly before closing it and tucking it into his pocket. "Thank you, Tinny."

The house elf nodded and disappeared with a small pop.

Soren grabbed a chocolate biscuit and dipped it in his tea while he waited patiently to see if his father would share any news. When several seconds ticked by, and he couldn't stand it anymore, he finally asked. "What did Mr. Potter say, father? Is he coming to visit again soon?"

Snape arched a brow over the top of his teacup, taking his time to savor and enjoy the delicious Darjeeling he'd chosen for his afternoon selection. He pulled the letter out of his pocket and carefully looked at the outside of the letter. "I don't believe this letter is addressed to you, Soren. So surely you realize that it's contents are none of your concern."

"Oh," Soren said, a slight blush creeping up his neck. "Sorry, father."

"It is rude to pry into other people's business. If there is something I wish to share, I will do so, unsolicited. You should know better, Soren."

"Yes, father…I was just hoping he'd come visit again soon as I can show him the maze!"

Tucking the letter back into his jacket, Snape set down his tea and took a deep breath. "Yes, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. I am going to ask you not to bring the maze up again in front of Mr. Potter."

"Why?" Soren looked confused. "It's one of my favorite things here. I think he'd really love it, just like me and Ms. Cloutier! I want to show him how fast I'm getting!"

"Ms. Cloutier and me," he corrected. "And I know you enjoy it very much, but it is complicated…" Snape took a moment to consider how best to explain it. "You see, when Mr. Potter was a boy, something quite terrible happened to him in a maze. Even though it has been many years, sometimes people still carry bad memories that can make them feel sad or scared. Even though the maze is fun and full of joy for you, it might cause Mr. Potter to have some very difficult feelings, and we do not wish to put him in a circumstance where he either feels uncomfortable or is reminded of his traumatic memories. Can you understand that?"

Snape hoped he hadn't said too much, but he felt he had to be honest with the boy, there was no use in continuing to dance around the issue, and sooner or later he knew Soren would pressure Harry, and knowing the man the way he did, Harry was unlikely to refuse Soren, putting him in a terrible situation that could lead to all kinds of post-traumatic flashbacks, panic attacks, and nightmares. Something neither of them needed to deal with.

A look of understanding and sympathy came across Soren's face. "Oh…that's really sad, father. I thought you just didn't want me to bother him because he's too busy. Did he get hurt in a maze? What happened?"

"That," Snape said sharply, "is certainly not any of your business. If one day, Mr. Potter chooses to tell you himself, that is up to him. But you are not to ever ask him about it or bring it up, or mention the maze again in his presence. It would be insensitive and cruel. Is that clear?"

"Yes, father, I won't. I wouldn't want to do anything to make Mr. Potter feel bad, he's always nice to me…do I need to be afraid to go in the maze? Can it hurt me too?"

Snapes heart ached with the innocent question. "Not at all, Soren. I built that maze to be something special, meant to be enjoyed. I used to walk in it all of the time before you and Ms. Cloutier arrived. It is meant to be a place you can wander and think and… 'unwind'…" Snape smirked to himself for that unintentional play on words. "But no, Soren, you have nothing to worry about whatsoever. I am glad that you enjoy the maze, and you should continue to do so."

Soren smiled. "I really want you to do the maze with me, father. Then you can show me all of the tricks so I can beat Ms. Cloutier!" He reached for his third cookie, hoping his father hadn't noticed.

"Uh uh uh," Snape shook his head. "Put that back, young man. You know you're only meant to have two biscuits with your tea." He reached toward the little boy's hand and snatched the McVittie's out of it, giving him a disapproving look. "It hasn't been fifteen minutes since you've had your bottom smacked, and already you're up to no good. Do you honestly think I won't punish you again? You know the rules, Soren. And you know how I feel about deceit."

Soren's face and ears burned red with shame. "I wasn't really paying attention, father, I didn't mean to take a third one."

Now the man's face went into a deep scowl. "Do not make it worse by lying to me right now, Soren. If you want to save yourself another trip over my knee, you will be honest, apologize, and convince me that you have taken this lesson to heart without the need for additional punishment."

"I'm sorry, father. I was just enjoying having tea with you and I didn't think you would notice. I wasn't trying to be dishonest. I know the rules are two biscuits only, and I promise I won't try to do that again. I promise." Soren had small tears in his eyes now, but not because he was worried about being punished, but because he felt terrible that he'd let his father down over something so stupid. He'd given in to a normal, childish impulse, he hadn't meant to deceive his father.

"There's no reason to be upset. But I expect better of you, Soren. And do not ever, ever lie to me over something so silly. If you make a mistake, just acknowledge it. I will always be far more lenient with you if you admit it straight away and apologize. I cannot stand being lied to, so just know that if you are ever blatantly dishonest with me, I will punish you far more severely than I would otherwise."

Soren nodded his head. "I'm really sorry father. I wasn't trying to be naughty. I promise." A few tears slid down his face.

"Oh for Merlin's sake," Snape said, pulling out a handkerchief. "Come here, Soren."

Soren reluctantly slid off the couch, hesitating as he walked until his father pulled him in between his knees.

"That's enough. There's no reason for tears. You're a child, I fully expect that you will do silly things without thinking. However, I want you to clearly understand that there's a difference between being a bit naughty, and lying about it. It is the lying that truly bothers me. I am not angry and you're not in trouble. This time. But I want to be clear, it will always be in your best interest to be honest and apologize. Always. I will be extremely angry and disappointed if you lie to me. And I promise you, I will always find out if you've been lying and it is never worth it. Do you understand?"

The guilt that had been simmering under the surface burst out of him and Soren started sobbing. "I'm sorry, father! I didn't mean to lie to you!"

Snape gave him a quizzical look. "Soren, enough. Take a deep breath, there is absolutely no reason to get worked up over this. Nothing happened. I am not angry. You haven't done anything to warrant this kind of upset." He pulled the boy in closer and wiped the tears and snot off of his face. "Take a deep breath."

Soren sobbed for another few seconds before he stopped and took a deep breath, his exhale stuttering slightly.

"Again. We're going to keep breathing until you calm down. Now slow deep breaths in…and out…yes, just like that. Again."

Together they took several more deep breaths, Snape keeping two steadying hands on the boy the whole time. When he was sure Soren had calmed down, he wiped his face one more time before lifting his chin up with his thumb and forefingers. "Would you care to explain what got you so worked up? You know you are not in trouble, right?"

Soren nodded his head. "Yes, father. I don't know…" A part of Soren wanted to come clean, tell him all about the wand, the fire, how Ms. Cloutier had taken the blame for him, but his father was giving him such kind eyes right now, he didn't have the guts. Not to mention, he didn't want to get Ms. Cloutier in trouble. He pushed any thoughts of confession far out of his mind. "I just felt bad that I made you disappointed. I wanted to be really good today and I already got in trouble once, and then I felt bad because I got in trouble again even though I was trying really hard to be good, I really was."

His lower lip started to quiver and more tears threatened to fall.

"Stop that right now," Snape said, in a kind but commanding voice. "No more tears. I am not disappointed in you. I was not disappointed in you earlier, either. I punished you because you had been pushing on that boundary all day and you needed to get your attitude under control. You are seven years old, Soren, I fully expect you to have moments where you do something naughty, or you give me cheek and you need to be quickly corrected and steered back in line. That is my job as your father. It doesn't mean you're not a good boy. It certainly doesn't change the way I feel about you. This is why I tell you, once you've been punished, it is over, there is a clean slate, we move on. You do not need to hold onto guilt, shame, feelings of sadness. Do you understand?"

Soren nodded his head and whispered, "Yes, father."

"Overall, you are a good boy. I was very pleased with your focus and work today, and whilst aiming for perfection is admirable, I do not expect that of you. That doesn't mean there won't be consequences when you make mistakes, but it means we deal with them and get back on track and try not to repeat them. It doesn't change how I feel about you or what kind of person you are. Now then, are you all done with the tears?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good." With one final wipe of the little boy's face, Snape banished the handkerchief, resting a gentle hand on Soren's shoulder. "Then sit down, finish your tea and then you can either take a rest or go outside and play with Tinny."

Soren was tempted to throw his arms around his father and give him a hug, but he let go of that impulse almost as quickly as it came.

"Now let's try and enjoy the rest of our tea in peace." Snape sent him on his way with a pat on the head. "We've had quite enough hysterics for one day."

A few minutes ticked by when Snape set his cup down. "How would you feel about another little boy your age coming to play for a bit tomorrow?"

"A boy coming here? To play with me?!" Soren was so excited he nearly jumped off the couch. He bounced slightly on his cushion and clapped his hands. "Yes, please, father! Who is it! When are they coming? Is he allowed to play in the maze with me?"

"We'll have to make arrangements, but Mr. Potter has a godson about your age, and he offered to bring him over if that is acceptable to you."

"Please please please, father! Can he stay over? Will he bring toys? When is he coming?"

"Take a breath, Soren, and don't get overexcited. Nothing has been planned yet, but his name is Teddy. He is 6.5, so not quite 7, but close enough. And yes, you may play with him in the garden and the maze. I will tell Mr. Potter that he is welcome to bring over one or two simple things you can play with together, if he would like."

"Does he have a broom?" Soren asked with a huge grin.

"I wouldn't know. But what I'm absolutely certain of is that you will not be getting on any broom until you are well past the age of 11. So whether Teddy has one or not, it makes no difference as far as you're concerned." Snape gave him a knowing look.

"Oh, well, we'll see."

"I beg your pardon?" Both of Snape's eyebrows flew up in response.

"I'm going to ask him tomorrow if he has a broom. If he says yes, then maybe after my next birthday he can bring it over."

"Are your ears functional, little boy? I just told you, no broom before you go off to Hogwarts. You will learn to fly there like most other magical children. That's the end of the discussion."

"Yes, sir." Soren was so excited there was nothing that could dampen his mood now. "Can I show him my classroom?"

"I suppose, if he's interested. It's up to you. Let's not get too ahead of ourselves, I need to make arrangements with Mr. Potter."

"This is going to be so much fun! I'm going to show him the maze and the gardens. Maybe we can play hide and seek! Does he have a dog?"

"No idea. I know about as much as you do about the boy."

"Oh. Can we get a dog?"

Snape wrinkled his forehead. "Excuse me? Where on earth did that come from?"

Soren shrugged. "I've been thinking we should get a puppy. Then I could play with him and I wouldn't feel so lonely or bored all the time."

"There's absolutely no excuse to be lonely or bored in this house. You have plenty of enriching things you can do to make use of your time. There's an entire library with tens of thousands of books— adventure stories, poems, and knowledge of every kind. Additionally, you also have vast gardens you can explore, and plenty of things you can learn about if you were so inclined. And you have Ms. Cloutier and myself here with you constantly, I don't see how you could possibly be lonely or bored. I, for one, would be thrilled to be either of those things at the moment."

"But I don't have anyone to play with. Tinny doesn't count, he's just a house elf. I want a real friend…or a puppy."

"We're not getting a puppy, Soren. My life is chaotic enough with one untrained feral creature in the house, I couldn't possibly keep my sanity if you added another one."

"Please father? It would be so much fun. I could train him myself and he could sleep on my bed and keep me cozy and warm. And we could play in the garden together!"

"You've lost your mind if you think I'd entertain any of that for a single second. First of all, I can't even get you to follow directions, but you expect me to believe you have the ability to train a dog? It's laughable. And yes, I'm sure you and this fictional dog would enjoy far too much time playing around in the gardens, destroying my plants and flowers when he's not inside chewing up furniture and tearing my house to pieces. It's absurd, Soren, and the answer is unequivocally 'no.' Now can you focus on the issue at hand?" Snape shook his head and looked up at the mantle clock, counting the hours until it would be an acceptable enough time to pour himself a brandy.

"Oh, right! Teddy! Well, maybe if Teddy has a dog then—"

"Don't. Even. Think. About. It." Snape said loudly, putting his hand up and closing his eyes. "If you say the word 'dog' one more time, you will spend the rest of the evening in your room, writing it over and over again until you're so sick of it, you never say it out loud again. And I don't care if Teddy has an entire menagerie at home, he is not allowed to bring an animal to our home. Ever."

Soren scowled slightly, but knew that he was getting close to pushing his father over the edge, and he had no desire to find himself over his knee for a second time today. His father was no fun at all. No brooms. No animals. So boring.

"I'm sure you and Teddy will find plenty to do in the manor, and if you get along, perhaps he will come back again another time. Let's take it one step at a time."

"Does Teddy go to real school or does he have a governess like me?" Soren asked, curious.

"I wouldn't have a clue. But I'm sure you can ask him."

"Maybe he can come here and go to school with me! Ms. Cloutier can teach both of us and then I can have a friend at school too!"

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves, Soren. Besides, I hired Ms. Cloutier to teach you. It is not her job to educate every orphan that comes stumbling through the manor. Now why don't you go outside and run off some of this energy. Those two biscuits were clearly more than enough sugar, you're practical all bouncing off the walls. Up you get!" Snape clapped twice and stood, reaching over and lifting the boy onto his feet before propelling him toward the door. "Out you go!"

"Wait!" Soren said, turning around. "Can I go to the loo, first?"

"Yes, of course. And don't forget to wash your hands and face, you have chocolate everywhere. And while you're at it, change out of your school clothes and into your play clothes, there's no reason to get those dirty."

Soren walked to the stairs and then sprinted up them, making a bee-line to his room. He took off his school 'uniform'- a pair of gray short pants, black knee socks, a white Oxford shirt, a green and gold tie, and a navy blazer emblazened with the Kent family crest. Normally Marie or Tinny would put his clothes back in the wardrobe with quick swish of their wands, but he just tossed them inside for now. He grabbed out a pair of corduroy trousers and a long-sleeved shirt and pulled on his trainers.

Before he left the room, he reached into his bag in the wardrobe and pulled out what he really came up for—his tiny little golden ground snitch. It was a toy that Ms. Cloutier had gotten him to play with. It only hovered a few feet above the ground, but it was fun to chase around the garden, and it gave him something to do when he was alone. He shoved it in his pocket before running his hands quickly under the bathroom sink and wiping his face and hands with a towel, chocolate smearing off onto the cloth.

He bolted down the stairs as quickly as he'd gone up them, excited to go out and play. He knew better than to run across the parlor, but he walked as fast as he could without incurring the wrath of his father who was constantly yelling at him not to run in the house. "Bye, father! I'm going outside!"

"Stay on the ground. No tree climbing, no ridiculous stunts. I've had enough drama these past few days to last me quite a while. Tinny will bring you in when it is reading time." Snape had barely finished his last sentence when the slam of the back door.

Snape took a long deep breath, snagged another chocolate biscuit, and then headed down to the dungeon to bottle his hydration potion before returning to check on Marie.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

What do you think? How did Soren do? Do you think he and Snape are getting closer, finally? What about Marie— do you think she's feeling awful about how things affected Soren?

And what are your thoughts on a playdate with Teddy Lupin?

So much fun ahead! I love hearing from you, please PLEASE let me know what you think, it is so motivating to hear from you!

EDIT: PLEASE READ BEFORE REVIEWING

I understand that this fic isn't for everyone and it deals with themes that make some people feel uncomfortable. But please, PLEASE don't send me hateful or negative messages. If you don't like it, that's completely OK, just don't read it, walk away. If you DO have something negative to say, have the decency to do so from a signed in account so at least we can engage in some discussion and I can maybe address some of the concerns or points you bring up. It is REALLY disempowering for me to read negative feedback and then have no way to address things.

As a writer who writes fanfiction, the feedback I get affects me a lot. I LOVE to write, it is a hobby and I spend 20-30hrs or more a week sometimes just writing as an outlet— and I can easily just write for myself and still enjoy it. It takes a LOT of guts and vulnerability to put my writing out there, but I share it because I enjoy engaging with other people and it means SO much to me when I know other people enjoy and connect with my stories. It brings me so happiness. I don't get paid for this (obviously)- I do it for JOY. I do it for connection. I live for the reviews/comments that let me know what people are excited about, what they liked, and maybe even what they didn't like, but in a constructive way.

I very nearly deleted this entire account today because I was so heartbroken and affected by these negative comments. I thought about never publishing another chapter again on any of my works and just abandoning all of it. Maybe that sounds dramatic, but I can't tell you how much it hurts me when people write things like "you're sick" or "I hate this so much"—it makes me reluctant to continue sharing something that I do for fun and enjoyment. It's not worth the hurt and pain that I feel when I read mean things.

So my request is this. Please don't bother- if you're going to say negative or hateful things, just don't. Stop reading. Walk away. You didn't pay $29.99 for this, it's free. Just click the tab closed and don't look back. There's no reason to be hurtful in the process, it doesn't help anyone. I don't expect everyone to like what I write. It's OK not to like it, or even to have issues with it, but please, just click away, it is that easy. But if you do feel the need to say mean or critical things, then at least have the decency to do so from an account I can actually respond to because sometimes I feel like there's a misinterpretation or something I might be able to address or clear up and at least this makes me feel like we're on equal footing.

Thanks for reading. I don't know when I will update again, I'm feeling very demoralized at the moment and have zero desire to write.