I can breathe.
What is breathing?
I am crying.
What is crying?
It is dark.
It is dark?
What is dark?
I can move.
What is moving?
I have arms.
What are arms?
I move them.
I have feet.
What are feet?
I move them.
I do not move.
I am stuck.
What is stuck?
Why can I move?
Why can I not move?
I am crying.
Why can I cry?
I can hear myself cry.
Why can I hear?
What is hearing?
I have eyes.
What are eyes?
I open them.
What is opening?
It hurts.
What is hurt?
Pain.
What is pain?
I see white.
What is white?
It hurts.
It is bright.
It hurts.
What is bright?
I try move again.
I can not move.
Why can I not move?
I can see more things.
The walls are white.
What are walls?
There is light?
What is light?
I look around.
I am small.
What is small?
How small is small?
There is a person.
What is a person?
She is big.
What is a she?
Am I a she?
What is size?
She feels familiar.
What is familiar?
She makes sounds.
She sounds like she is in pain.
I know those sounds.
I like these sounds.
I like where I where I first heard these sounds.
I was inside something.
What is inside?
Now I am outside it.
What is outside?
I was inside her.
She was my home.
What is home?
She was my happy place.
What is happy?
She is my mama.
What is mama?
I am not in mama.
I am not attached to mama.
What is attached?
I should be attached to mama.
Mama takes me in her arms.
I fit in her arms.
What is fit?
She can crush me.
What is crush?
Mama's eyes are half open.
Mama looks tired.
Mama is tired?
Mama looks down at me.
Mama's mouth is frowning.
What is a mouth?
Do I have a mouth?
What is frowning?
Why is mama frowning?
She does not look happy.
"Ugh, she's finally out."
What is finally?
So Mama knows I am out of her.
Is that why Mama is not happy?
Mama rocks me back and forth.
Mama is moving me.
I can not move myself.
But mama can move me.
I am weak.
What is weak?
I am helpless.
What is helpless?
Mama rocks me more.
I like this feeling.
Mama has things on her chest.
What are those?
I smell milk.
What is smell?
What is milk?
There is milk in them.
I am hungry.
What is hunger?
I am confused.
Why do I know nothing?
What is nothing?
I do not know why I left mama.
Why did I leave mama?
Did mama not want me in her?
Did I want to leave mama?
Why do I not remember?
What is remember?
Mama keeps rocking me.
I feel safe.
It is soft here.
I am happy.
Mama keeps rocking me.
"I just want to get out of here and forget about all of this."
What is forget?
Mama wants to get out here?
We are inside?
But I am outside my mama?
"I just wanna go back to my boring normal high school life. I…."
What is boring?
Why does mama want to be bored?
Now I am bored too.
Mama has water coming out of her eyes.
What is water?
Mama's eyes are red.
What is red?
Mama is making strange noises.
What is strange?
I do not like these noises.
Mama does not look happy.
Mama is very sad.
Mama is crying.
Do I look like this when I cry?
So this is crying?
I do not like mama crying.
I cry with mama.
Mama is holding me tight.
What is tight?
Mama is holding me tighter.
It hurts.
Why is mama hurting me?
Mama makes loud sounds.
Mama is hurting my ears.
What are ears?
I have ears?
I hear something else crying.
I look to the source of the crying.
There's another woman.
What is a women?
She is not familiar.
There is another small person.
Am I that small?
The small one is crying.
She feels familiar.
The big one does not.
The small one does.
I know the small one.
Small one was in mama with me.
I like her.
She is mine.
What is mine?
Give me the small one back.
What is give?
I want her.
I start crying.
Mama continues rocking me back and forth.
What is back and forth?
Why?
Why are we all crying?
Who is all?
Is the big woman crying too?
Mama is making big noises.
Mama is making long noises.
Mama is moving her lips.
What are lips?
Mama is talking.
What is talking?
Big one shakes her head.
What is shaking?
Big one is making long noises.
Big one is talking?
Mama and big one are talking.
What are they talking about?
I can not understand.
What is understand?
Do I want to understand?
Make me understand.
I want to talk.
I can not talk.
Why can I not talk?
I can only cry.
The only big and loud noise I can make is cry.
So I cry.
I like crying.
It gets mama's attention.
What is attention?
Mama narrows her eyes.
What is narrow?
Mama seems angry.
What is angry?
Mama seems scary.
What is scary?
I am scared.
"Shut up!"
What is 'shut up?'
Is Mama talking to me?
Mama is talking and I do not understand?
I want to understand.
I cannot understand.
They talk more.
And more.
Time passes.
What is time?
Mama is not looking at me.
Mama is not looking at small one.
Mama is talking to the big one.
Mama is rocking me.
Nothing changes.
More time passes.
I am bored again.
Why should I want to understand?
I do not want to understand.
I want milk.
I shall take the milk.
I put my mouth on mama's breast.
What are breasts?
I drink the milk.
What is drink?
I like milk.
It tastes good.
What is taste?
I keep drinking the milk.
I feel full.
What is full?
Mama pulls me away from her breasts.
"No! No! No! That is not yours!"
What is 'no'?
I do not like that sound.
I cry more.
"I hate you!"
What is 'hate'?
"I don't want them!"
What is mama saying?
Who are 'them'?
Is the small one 'them'?
Am I 'them'?
I am not wanted?
What does it mean to not want?
I do not like the sound of it.
I am sad now.
I keep crying.
Mama frowns again.
The big one sounds angry too.
The big one is talking to mama.
Mama talks back to the big one.
They talk even louder.
The small one is crying too.
It hurts.
It hurts.
It hurts.
I hate this.
Is this what mama feels?
Why does she hate me?
I love mama.
What is love?
"I'm leaving them here!"
Leave?
What is leave?
Is that bad?
What is bad?
I do not like the sound of 'leave.'
Do not leave us mama.
Do not go.
What is go?
I will be good.
What is good?
Little one will be good.
Please do not leave.
I beg you.
What is begging?
What is please?
Why?
Why did we leave mama?
Why did we leave mama if mama do not want us?
I do not understand.
What is to understand?
I hear a strange noise.
It comes from the wall.
This wall is different.
It looks brown.
It is interesting.
It opens.
Walls can open?
A person comes into the room.
What is a room?
She is female?
She has brown hair.
What is brown again?
She wears the same thing mama does.
What is wear?
She talks to mama.
She sounds confused.
I am confused too.
Mama talks back.
The big one talks back.
They are all big.
Only small one and me are small.
She looks older than mama?
They both look older than mama?
What is old?
Are we younger than mama?
What is young?
Are we babies?
What are babies?
I am young.
Is that why I am helpless?
So babies rely on mama?
What happens if mama leaves?
Does that mean no mama?
If there is no mama, what happens to the babies?
Do babies die without a mama?
What is die?
I am sad?
I want to cry.
I want to burp.
What is burp?
Someone burp me.
I cry.
The new woman has a big belly.
What is a belly?
She reminds me of mama.
She is not mama.
She does not look like mama.
Is she a mama too?
Is that why she has a bump?
What is a bump?
If my mama does not want me, will another mama want me?
She takes me from mama's arms.
I feel safe.
She lightly taps my back.
What is tap?
What is back?
I burp.
I feel better.
She smiles at me.
I like her.
She smiles back.
She hands me back to mama.
I don't want to go back to mama.
I begin crying.
She brushes a hand through my hair.
I have hair?
She tries to hand me back to mama.
"I don't want them! They're a mistake! They shouldn't exist! I wanna go home! I'm too young to be a mom! My boyfriend fucking left me! My parents aren't even here for me! I'm 16 and alone! I can't have twins! I just can't!"
Why does mama not want us again?
What have we done wrong?
The only thing I have done is come out of mama, cry, and drink mama's milk.
Mama did not scold me for crying.
What is scolding?
Small one did not drink, and yet mama yelled at her?
Is mama angry I left her?
But I did not want to leave mama?
Why do I not know anything before I left mama?
Why do I not know anything before I was born?
What is born?
Does mama wish I was never born?
What does it mean to never be born?
Would I not exist?
What is exist?
Does mama wish I never existed?
Is that what mama said?
But how did I come to be?
Did mama make me?
Does mom wish she never made me?
I do not understand.
I do not wish to understand.
I want to be happy.
I feel like I want to burp again.
I can not burp again.
I feel a pit in my stomach.
What is a stomach?
Mama and the other woman are talking.
I do not care.
The pit gets worse.
I am starting to understand.
I should have never been born.
Then mama would not be sad.
I am a mistake.
What is a mistake?
I wish I was not born.
All I feel is pain.
All I think is pain.
I hate it.
Why do I hate it?
Should I hate it?
If I do not hate this feeling, would it make me happy?
I want to be happy.
Could I force myself to not hate this feeling?
Could I force myself to love this feeling?
What is force?
The women keep talking.
Mama is still angry.
The big one with my small one is worried.
The big one with the big belly is also angry.
"If you don't want them, then I'll take them!"
The big one with the big belly snatches me from mama's arms.
What is snatch?
I do not care.
I am wanted.
Mama does not want me.
The big one with the big belly wants to take me.
That means she wants me.
"If you won't be their mother, then I'll do it!"
I do not understand.
What is mother?
Does mother mean mama?
Mama does not want to be my mama.
The big one with the big belly wants to be my mama.
I want to be wanted.
The big one with the big belly has milk.
The big one with the big belly can provide for me.
What is provide?
The big one with the big belly can protect me.
What is protect?
The big one with the big belly did not give birth to me.
Does that matter?
The big one with the big belly is a better mama.
I want her to be my mama.
She is mine.
Good-bye, ex-mama.
Hello, real mama.
What is hello?
What is real?
The pit in my stomach goes away.
I like mama.
No.
I love mama.
Mama takes small one too.
"What are their names?"
Names?
What are names?
"Junko and Mukuro Enoshima."
Am I 'Junko?'
Is small one 'Mukuro?'
I like Mukuro.
I love Mukuro.
I love mama.
Mama looks at me.
Mama looks at Mukuro.
Mama is still smiling.
"I am Haru Naegi. Nice to meet you Junko and Mukuro Naegi! Welcome to the family!"
What is family?
Are we a family?
Is Mukuro family?
Is mama family?
I am happy.
I am happy to be alive.
What is alive?
I no longer wish I was never born.
I wish to be with mama and Mukuro forever.
I am….
…
…
…
…
…
I am not bored.
Mama took me and small one, Mukuro, away from Ex-Mama.
Ex-mama did not want us.
I was sad ex-mama did not want us.
But mama wants us.
Mama had me and small Mukuro in her arms.
I liked it in her arms.
I liked being small.
I did not have to worry.
I saw a lot of people.
A lot of people I do not know.
But I was not scared.
I was with mama and Mukuro.
I am bored, but I am with them.
I love them.
That makes it okay to be bored.
I slept in Mama's arms.
I drank Mama's milk.
Some other big people wanted to take me and Little Mukuro from Mama.
I cried every time.
They always brought us back to mama.
Mama was in a big room with lots of people sitting.
What is sitting?
Now I see another person.
Not female.
Does that make them male?
What is male?
Who are they?
"Haru?"
He says mama's name.
He knows mama.
That means I can trust him.
"Wow, you really adopted them?"
What is adopt?
Is that the process of mama becoming my mama?
What is process?
Mama smiled at him.
Mama looks happy with him.
Mama moves her arms.
She places me in his arms.
I would rather be in mama's arms.
I cry.
"See, she likes you."
Mama makes no sense.
I am crying.
I am sad.
I thought 'like' meant it makes you happy?
Do I not understand like?
Sounds are tough.
Mukuro does not understand.
Mukuro is like me, but dumb.
What is dumb?
I would rather be dumb.
It would make things easier.
I would not be bored if I was dumb.
"Are we really doing this with another baby on the way?"
Another baby?
Is that the bump?
Will I get another sister?
What is a sister?
Is Mukuro a sister?
I love Mukuro.
I would love another sister too.
Mama was the first to speak.
"It was the right thing to do. Besides, who knows what would have happened to them if we didn't take them in? I couldn't have that happen."
"But you'll lose your job. We can't afford daycare for three little ones. You'll have to stay at home to raise them. I know how proud you are of your job, so I just want to make sure you really want this."
"I wouldn't want it any other way. These angels are more important than my telemarketer position anyway."
"No need to be defensive, hun."
Why is mama being defensive?
What is defensive?
Does this man not support mama taking us in?
I do not like him already.
What is telemarketing?
It sounds important.
"I just hope this won't tire you to death. These two girls and….with Makoto on the way."
What is a Makoto?
Is that the baby?
The other baby is Makoto?
Makoto is Haru's baby?
I love Haru.
I promise to love Haru's baby.
I promise to love Makoto.
What is a promise?
"Don't worry, Ken. It might get rough at the start but that won't make me change my mind. I'm doing this."
What is a Ken?
"We'll be doing this. Together."
He is Ken?
Why is Mama putting her lips to Ken's lips?
Is that a sign of trust?
Mama trusts Ken?
Is that a sign of love?
Mama loves Ken?
Does that mean I should love Ken?
Maybe Ken is not so bad.
Ken bounces me in his lap.
He smiles at me.
"Sorry, kiddo. I hope I didn't insult you."
What do those sounds mean?
What is hope?
I still do not understand Ken.
Does Ken think I can understand him?
I wish I could understand Ken.
I wish I could understand Mama too.
I want to make sounds I can not understand.
I want Mama and Papa to understand me.
But I can not talk.
But mama smiles.
Mama is happy when she smiles.
I can smile too!
He likes it!
"Wow, she's bright. What's her name?"
"Junko."
"Well, nice to meet you, Junko. I'll be your dad. I promise to take great care of you."
What is a dad?
Take care of me?
Will dad take me away from Mama?
I do not want to be taken from Mama.
I do not want to be taken from Mukuro.
I never want to be apart from them ever.
I start to cry.
I reach my hands out for Mama.
"She really likes you!"
Mama is dumb too.
But I love mama.
Dad shakes his head.
"I think she likes you more."
"We'll have plenty of time to grow as a family."
Family?
Dad is also family?
Oh.
Dad is okay then.
Welcome to the family, Dad!
Mukuro and I sat in mama's lap for a long time.
Mukuro fell to sleep quickly.
She is quiet.
Very quiet.
She only cries when she is hungry.
She only cries when she is in pain.
She only cries when she is sad.
She was only sad when mama abandoned us.
Mukuro does not cry for any other reason.
If I was more like Mukuro, maybe ex-mama would want us?
No. I don't care about ex-mama.
Ex-mama is boring.
Mama and Dad are with another person.
Another male.
Are there more dads?
He was wearing a white long cloth.
His arms were covered by that white cloth.
What is a cloth?
Mama is sleeping on some table, but she don't have her eyes closed.
What is a table?
Is mama really dumb?
The cloth man is rubbing mama's belly with something.
I do not know what.
Dad is silent.
Is something bad happening?
"Mikan-senpai? Is everything alright?"
Senpai?
What is a senpai?
Is it white?
What was white again?
"Yep. Everything's alright. Most normal pregnancy I've ever seen."
"Thank goodness."
Dad sighed in relief.
What is a sigh?
What is relief?
"You have no idea how much this means to us Mikan-senpai. I'm so sorry we tied your hands on a day like this."
The white cloth man shook his head. "No worries. It is a complicated day but, I wouldn't turn the both of you down. Especially since I had to work anyway."
"I don't envy you, senpai." Daddy replied to the cloth man. "Being forced to work on Christmas sure must be tiring."
"You got off lucky this year"
"Hehe…"
Mama and Dad look happy.
I think something good happened.
The cloth person opened the wall and left.
Isn't that right?
Am I wrong?
What is left?
What is right?
What is wrong?
Mama took me in her arms again.
I smile.
Mama smiles.
Dad grabs Mukuro.
Mukuro opens her eyes.
She looks at Dad.
Then looks at mama and me.
Mukuro looked a little sad, but did not cry.
"And she likes you too!"
"I think you are getting that wrong…."
Mama is really dummy.
Mama and Dad take us outside.
I see the sky.
It is blue.
What is blue?
There are some white things on it too.
Is that white?
It looks soft.
It looks comfy.
What is comfy?
I feel sleepy.
Mama carries me to a weird thing.
It is black.
What is black?
Mama brings us inside the weird thing.
It looks kind of scary.
Mama fits Mukuro and me on her lap.
Dad sits in the other seat.
There's a circle in front of him.
What is a circle?
He grabs the circle.
I grab Mukuro's hand.
It is warm.
Mukuro turns her head.
She is confused.
I smile.
She is still confused.
Yet Mukuro seems happy.
She is too dumb to express it.
What is express?
I hear some weird noises from outside the weird thing.
It sounds scary.
But Mama holds me and Mukuro tight.
I feel safe.
I am not so scared anymore.
We start to move.
Yet my body does not move at all.
It is weird.
I do not like it.
I begin to cry.
Mama brushes my hair.
It makes me feel better.
Mukuro is still quiet.
She is just looking at me.
Do I cry a lot?
How much is a lot?
Mama's voice is always soothing.
"Don't worry, girls, we'll be home soon."
Home?
Home was in ex-mama.
Are we going back inside ex-mama?
No.
That does not sound right.
Are… we going to mama and papa's home?
Are we going to be a family there?
I can not wait.
I do not know what is happening.
But the weird thing stopped.
Mukuro is asleep again.
And Dad is opening the wall of the weird thing.
Mom does too and she carries Mukuro and me in her arms.
I am a little scared.
I do not want to fall.
But the arms of Mama still feel safe.
Mama walks closer to another brown wall in front of another weird thing.
This weird thing is different.
It is big.
Bigger than both Mama and Dad.
A lot bigger.
Is this how much a lot is?
Dad opens the brown wall and enters the weird thing.
It looks scary.
Like a monster.
What is a monster?
When Mama gets closer to the open brown door I wail, stopping Mama in her place.
I am scared.
I do not want to be close to that thing.
Then I feel the hand of Mama stroking my hair.
This soothes me.
I am still scared but I want to trust in Mama.
I stop my wailing.
And Mama continues to walk.
We pass the door and.
Nothing happens.
We are inside a new room.
"Welcome home!"
…
Are we inside Mama's mama?
Or does home mean something more?
I do not think Mama's mama is a room.
Then home is a place where family gather?
Can we stay at home forever?
I want to be with my family forever.
Mama carries Mukuro and I from room to room.
I feel so little.
It felt the same way in that other place with a lot of rooms.
This one is smaller than that though, so it is okay.
We walk into a room.
The walls are as blue as the sky.
There is a weird thing here.
It looks like what both my mamas laid on.
The weird thing is smaller and has some bars around it.
What are bars?
Can I eat them?
Mama places me on my back in the weird thing.
It is soft.
I can not move.
Mukuro is right next to me.
"Phew, luckily we got this room done for Makoto months in advance, right, hon?"
"Yes, dear."
This is Makoto's room?
People have rooms?
Does Mama have a room too?
But is Mama's belly not Makoto's room?
Can you have two rooms?
Can I move in with him?
I think I would prefer Mama's belly.
Only if Mukuro fits too, though.
"Alright, girls. This is your crib. You're safe here. Mom's gonna take care of some things real quick, but I will be right back."
Mama then left us in that weird thing.
She called it a crib?
What is a crib?
But I was not scared.
Mama said it is safe.
And I was not alone.
I turn my head to see little Mukuro right next to me.
She is still sleeping.
I want to get close to her.
But I can not.
I am stuck.
I can not move from my place.
I settle with stretching my hand as close as much to her.
I manage to grab her arm.
She slowly opens her eyes.
What is slow?
She registers her surroundings, not knowing where we are.
And then she looks back at me.
She keeps staring at me.
I smile.
I am happy.
Mukuro and I are together in a new home.
Our new Mama's home.
Mukuro's little lips begin to circle.
She tries her best and manages to form a little smile on her face.
She is tired.
I am tired.
She closes her eyes, her smile never disappearing.
And I too close my eyes.
I am so happy.
I open my eyes feeling something.
It is not good.
It is bad.
It feels wrong.
And ugly.
And smelly.
And wet.
I cry.
I want mama.
Mama will save me from this grossness.
I wake Mukuro up.
She does not cry.
She merely looks at me.
What is merely?
I can smell the grossness from her too.
Why does she not cry?
Mama comes in the room.
She is wearing new clothes.
She crinkles her nose.
What is a nose?
"Did somebody have an accident?"
What is a accident?
I do not like it.
Mama picks me up.
"You did, my little Junko. You did!"
I cry louder.
I am sad.
I had an accident.
Why did I have an accident?
I was sleeping.
What is sleep?
How could I do anything while sleeping?
Mama takes me over to a table.
What is a table?
Mama places me on the table.
Her hands move down to my waist.
What is a waist?
Mom takes something off me.
I feel free.
I see it.
It is white.
It has some yellow too.
What is yellow?
Was it part of me?
Was I wearing it?
Am I wearing anything else.
Mom tosses it in a can.
What is a can?
Mom grabs another white thing.
This thing is smaller.
This thing is flat.
Mom touches me with it.
It is cold.
"This will only take a second, okay, Junko?"
I listen to mama.
I do not know what a second is.
Is it time?
It does not matter.
I trust mama.
Mama wipes me down with the cold thing.
It was white.
Now it is not.
Mom puts powder on my butt.
What is a butt?
What is powder?
She then grabs another weird thing.
She puts it on me.
"There you go! How does that clean diaper feel?"
What is a diaper?
Is that the thing I am wearing?
Does mama wear a diaper?
Does dad?
I stop crying.
I no longer smell.
I no longer feel wet.
I no longer feel wrong.
Mama puts me back in the crib.
Mama repeats the process with Mukuro.
Why did Mukuro have an accident?
Do babies have accidents?
I do not want another accident.
I start to shake.
What is shake?
I can not move.
I have very little control over my body.
I begin to feel wet again.
Is this an accident?
I can not control when I feel wet.
It begins to smell.
I can not control when I smell.
I hate it.
Mama looks over at me as she brings Mukuro back.
"Already?"
Mama does not seem sad.
Mama does not seem angry.
Mama merely seems surprised.
What is surprise?
I cry.
Mama bounces me in her arms.
"It's okay, Junko. You're a baby. It is perfectly normal. That's why I am here."
Accidents are normal?
Is it normal to have no control over myself?
But mama has control over herself.
Why can I not be like mama?
I am causing extra work for mama.
What is work?
Mama gave up things to take care of us.
Why did Mama do that?
I love Mama.
I do not want to hurt Mama.
Did Mukuro and I hurt Mama by existing?
I keep crying.
"Are you hungry?"
Mama removes the top of what she is wearing.
She has breasts just like ex-mama.
She has milk just like ex-mama.
I take that milk.
It tastes good.
But I feel sad.
What have I done to Mama?
Is this why Ex-Mama did not want me?
I feel the pit in my stomach back.
It feels different.
I do not like it.
Should I like it.
Mama burps me.
The feeling does not go away.
She smiles at me.
"It's okay, Junko. I love you. You're not a burden."
What is burden?
I can not talk.
I can only cry.
Can Mama understand my crying?
Can Mama understand me?
"I'll take care of you, so don't cry."
I stop.
The pit in my stomach goes away.
As long as I have Mukuro and Mama and Dad, I don't need anything else.
I am content.
I am bored.
I do not care.
Mama keeps me in her arms.
Mama says I am not a burden.
Mama says she loves me more than anything.
Mama is crying.
Is that bad?
Why is Mama crying?
Is Mama like Ex-Mama?
I do not want that.
I want Mama to stop crying.
Who caused Mama to cry?
Is it the man who came into my room a while ago?
Why does Mama let him hold Mukuro?
Daddy is glaring at the man.
What is glare?
Why does daddy look so angry?
If daddy is angry, why does not daddy do anything to stop this?
Why can daddy not say anything?
Is this man the reason why mommy is crying?
Is this man the reason why daddy is angry?
I do not like this man.
Give me Mukuro back.
I cry.
"Haru, listen to me. You're about to have three children! Three! That's more kids than you have arms! How do you plan to care for effectively triplets!? They aren't yours! Give them up before you're in too deep! We can find them a good home, you don't need to keep them yourself!"
"You and mother were supportive of me having Makoto! We're naming him after you! Just because they didn't come out of my womb doesn't mean they can't be my children, father!"
Father?
Is this man Mama's father?
Is this man Mama's dad?
Is this man Mama's papa?
Why would Mama's papa hurt mama?
Why would granddaddy hurt us?
"Haru… Dear... You don't understand! Raising a child is already hard enough. Not to mention three…."
"I quit my job, dad! It's a little too late for me to back out. If I dedicate my full time to them, then it won't be a hassle at all."
"I didn't send you to college so you could be a housewife!"
"Well, I didn't go to college to get into telemarketing to begin with!"
Mama and the man scream louder.
I do not like it.
What is screaming?
Mukuro is still asleep in the arms of grandaddy.
I do not understand.
I do not understand what Mama and Mama's papa are talking about.
We can not be a family?
Why can we not be a family?
I cry even louder
What is even?
Mama brushes a hand on my head.
She smiles.
She is crying but keeps smiling.
"Please… dad…"
Grandaddy does not look happy.
"And you won't dare to speak reason to your wife?"
Grandaddy is now glaring at dad.
"This was Haru's choice. And I fully support her."
"Do you?"
Little Mukuro opens her eyes.
She looks confused.
Mukuro is too dumb to understand.
But I can not understand too.
Am I dumb too?
"You can't look at them and say that we have to give them away!"
Daddy screams too now.
Grandaddy shakes his head.
"When Makoto is born, you will understand."
Grandaddy hands Mukuro to daddy.
"And you'll thank me."
Grandaddy is turning to the brown wall.
He opens it.
I do not want him to come back.
The voice of Mama stops him from leaving.
"Tell mom I love her."
Mama sounds sad.
Grandaddy does not move.
"She already knows."
Grandaddy then leaves. Closing the brown door.
Are the brown walls doors?
When Mama soothes me brushing my hair I stop crying.
Mama looks sad, but keeps brushing my hair.
Grandaddy is not here now.
Grandaddy can not hurt us.
We can be a family.
We can be a family now.
Right?
Right?
Right?
Right?
I am bored.
I do not like grandaddy.
I do not like grandaddy Makoto
I do not like Makoto.
I sleep.
I wake up.
What is waking?
I stay in Mama's arms.
Mukuro stays in Mama's arms.
I sleep.
I wake.
I eat.
I sleep.
I wake.
I poop.
I sleep.
I wake.
I eat.
I poop.
I pee.
I sleep.
I wake.
I do all these things.
It is like this for days.
What is a day?
It is boring.
But I love being in Mama's arms.
Mukuro loves being in Mama's arms.
But she is more silent.
She is always silent.
Mukuro has not cried since Ex-Mama left us.
But Mukuro is happy.
Today Mama holds us in her arms.
"Hun, the car's ready!"
"Coming! Take care, you lovely two"
Mama kisses me and Mukuro on our foreheads.
What is a forehead?
It is on my head.
Little Mukuro and me stay together in the weird 'crib' thing.
Time passes.
We do not do much.
Mukuro is too dumb to do anything.
I have an accident.
I still hate it.
It is boring.
I am bored.
I want Mama.
I hear the noises the other weird thing Dad uses makes.
Mama and Dad must be back!
And the door to our room opens.
"Girls!"
Mama happily stomps her way to us.
Mama quickly grabs me.
I would be more happy for Mama being back
But…
"Oh. My dear. I'm so sorry. We thought we wouldn't take so much time."
Mama notices my 'accident'.
Mama looks at Mukuro to see if she had an accident too.
She did not.
I feel bad.
"Sorry Mukuro, I'll be with you too right after this."
Mama places me on a table nearby.
She cleans me.
I feel useless.
I can not do anything for myself.
I hate it.
I cry.
I cry at my uselessness.
I cry because I am a burden.
I cry because I fear that Mama would be happier without me.
The pit on my stomach reappears at the thought.
"Don't cry, Junko."
I do not listen.
Mama's smile seems scary.
Mama is smirking.
What is smirking?
"I know how to get you to stop. Tickle fight!"
And then mama tickles me.
What is tickle?
Mama runs her fingers all over my body.
And I laugh.
I laugh because I feel weird.
Mama is making me feel weird.
I do not know what mama is doing to me.
But it stops me from crying anymore.
I feel…
Happy.
Like this is a game.
What is a game?
"That's more like it."
Mama smiles.
Mama's smiles are beautiful.
The pit in my stomach disappears again.
But I still hate my uselessness.
"I got something for you two…"
Something?
What is something?
She grabs me and places me again in the weird thing.
Little Mukuro is next to me.
Mama leaves the room.
I feel sad for a moment.
I make Mama leave?
But she storms right in again.
She is grabbing two… things.
What is two?
"This is for you, Junko"
Mama beams and places something in front of me.
I… do not know what it is.
It is smaller than me.
it is brown, like the wall-doors.
I touch it with my little hand, a little scared.
It feels soft.
It feels fluffy.
Mama pushes the thing closer to me.
It touches my small body.
It is really soft.
I fight the urge to hug it.
What is fighting?
What is a urge?
"It's yours, Junko."
I hear the voice of Mama speaking.
I do not understand what she means, but she looks to be waiting for something.
Whatever this thing is, it is not doing anything.
Can it move?
Is it alive?
What is this?
"It's a teddy bear, Junko. He's here to be your friend."
Mama reads me like an open book
What is a book?
I grab the thing with my small hands.
Once I fully grab it, I do not want to let go of it.
I hug it.
It feels nice.
I giggle in happiness.
Little Mukuro was watching the whole time in silence.
She looked confused, not understanding what was happening.
"And I wouldn't dare to forget about you, Muku."
Mukuro turns to Mama.
Mama places another thing in front of her.
Unlike mine, it looks a little more scary.
It was gray, and a little more smaller than my 'teddy bear'
What is gray?
Mukuro looks at it impressed.
Her open mouth proves it.
"Go on. It's yours."
Mama happily chirped and Mukuro grabbed the gray thing.
She wasn't afraid.
She is too dumb to question what she does not understand.
But it is fine.
Mukuro strongly hugged the gray thing.
She is not expressive. But she is happy.
She loves the gift Mama gave her. She does it in her own way.
"And the dummy of Ken thought you would be scared by it."
"In my defense…"
I heard the voice of papa approaching, getting louder by the second.
"...What girl would like wolves out the gate?"
Dad places himself next to Mama. A smile on his face.
"Muku does!"
"I…"
Dad looks at Mukuro, who turns at him without letting go of the gray thing.
"Heh… I guess she does."
Haru giggles.
"And in my defense, I thought it was a dog!"
"How could you mix up a dog and a wolf?"
Mama does not answer Papa.
Mama turns to look back at me.
"And Junko here also likes her teddy bear."
Why did Mama not answer Papa?
Dad now looks at me too.
"That reminds me… Did I ever tell you about the sheep plushie I used to have as a kid?"
Papa was a kid?
Does that mean Papa was a baby too?
What about Mama?
"You did?"
"Ma said that if counting sheep to sleep helped, then a physical one would do wonders."
"Miss Oba always had a unique sense of humor…"
"God bless her."
Mama laughs at what dad said, stopping when she makes a weird noise with her nose.
Papa laughs as well.
"Did I just make you snort?"
"No you didn't!"
"You are adorable when you get defensive."
"Stop ittttttt!"
Mama and Papa are flirting.
They have no shame.
What is shame?
What is flirting?
"This actually reminds me. I called my sheep doll Snort."
"You didn't."
"I actually did!"
"You didn't! You are just using this to tease me!"
Papa laughs off the embarrassment Mama was in.
He then turns to us.
"Remember kids. Pick a good name for them. These guys might find a place in your heart for the rest of your lives. Who knows?"
A name?
Like Junko for me?
Or Mukuro for Little Mukuro?
I want to give my 'teddy bear' a good name…
I will have to think about it….
Sometimes when Mama and Papa eat Mama takes us with her.
Mama and Papa sit on some brown things.
They are not doors, they have four legs.
Mama places Mukuro on another brown thing.
But the legs of this one were taller.
And…smaller?
It works better for little Mukuro's size.
"We are going to need more of these eventually…"
"We can go next weekend."
Mama holds me in her arms and feeds me.
I love Mama's milk but.
Mama and Papa get to eat different food.
Mama's food looks… weird.
No.
It looks different.
That is why I think it looks weird.
Papa's food looks just like Mama's.
Mama does not eat mama's milk
I think Papa does not as well.
I want to eat Mama's food…
I want to be like Mama.
Maybe if I eat Mama's food I can be like Mama?
I stop drinking Mama's milk.
I try to reach Mama's dish with my arms. I can not reach it.
What is a dish?
I hear Papa's voice.
"Heh. I think I'm not the only one that craves for your cooking, hun."
"Hmm?"
Mama looks down at me, seeing me trying to reach her dish.
I pull my arm back.
Did I upset Mama?
"Aww… sweetie…"
Mama covers her breast with her shirt again and pulls me higher.
What is a shirt?
"You can't eat this with us. But I promise I'll make something we can all eat for you next time!"
Promise?
What is a promise?
But Mama doesn't look upset.
She's smiling at me.
She always smiles beautifully.
Papa's voice trembles. "W-Wait… what are you thinking of cooking then?"
"Something Junko and Muku can easily eat… I'm thinking mashed potatoes…"
"Ugh…" Papa's exhales defeatedly. "I hate mashed potatoes…"
Mama and Papa finished eating.
Little Mukuro and I sleep in our crib.
Mama and Papa spent time with Little Mukuro and me.
Mama's belly grew bigger.
Is that normal?
But Mama looks happy.
She never once stopped smiling.
Next time Mama and Papa ate, Mama took us with them.
Mama's dish is different from last time.
Instead of some shining yellow worms, Mama's dish had another yellow thing.
Papa's dish as well.
"Hah….." Papa doesn't look very happy
Mama happily clapped her hands together. "Thanks for the meal!"
"Thanks for the meal…" Papa's voice was low like a whisper. He wasn't as happy as Mamá
What is a whisper?
Mama and Papa started eating.
I'm getting hungry…
I don't like doing it.
But I cry.
I feel useless crying.
But I want Mama to feed me.
Mama instantly takes notice of me.
What is instantly?
"Someone's hungry!" Mama happily chirps.
Mama then surprised me, instead of feeding me milk, she grabbed some of her food with a shiny curvy thing.
Mama don't feed me immediately though. Her mouth makes a circle and holds the shiny thing in front of her.
…
Is Mama really dumb?
Mama can't eat if she don't have the shiny thing closer to her mouth.
"Don't you think it's a bit soon to feed her something besides milk, hun?"
"Maybe, but Junko here was very eager to try last night."
"If you say so hun…"
"Say 'Aaahhh'"
The shiny thing enters my mouth.
It is warm.
It is hot.
Very hot
It hurts.
I wail.
My tongue hurts.
It is too hot.
"Sorry! Sorry!" Mama panicks a little while Papa sighs looking down on his dish.
Mama then repeats the process, but this time she does the weird thing she did before even longer.
I'm a little afraid.
Mama's food hurt me.
Maybe I'm not supposed to eat Mama's food.
But I still want to try Mama's Food…
"Okay Junko. This time's the charm. Say 'Aaahhh'"
While scared, I slowly open my mouth and receive mama's food.
It is warm,
It is hot.
But i don't burn my tongue.
I swallow mama's food.
…
…
It's delicious,
I can't help but smile and giggle.
"She liked it! Hon! She liked it!"
Papa smiles. Papa don't looks very happy but smiles. "She sure did."
"Here! I'll give you another spoon!"
Mama shares her food with we finish her dish
I'm full.
Mama grabs me and taps my back, making be burp.
"I'm so happy you liked it Junko dear!"
"He-Hey hun… What if you try giving some to Mukuro as well…?"
Mama turns to Little Mukuro, who is just silent.
She is not very hungry.
"But we already finished our dish…"
"I wasn't very hungry…" Papa shows his dish. It is still full. He barely touched it."How lucky, don't you think…?"
"..."
"..."
"Hun-?"
"My love…"
Papa blinks, confused..
"Yes dear?"
Mama grabbed another shiny thing, but this one had teeth. "You better eat what your loving wife cooked for you…" I feel a dangerous aura coming from Mama.
Papa gulps.
"Y-Yes dear!"
"You better not let it go to waste… Ken… dear…"
Mama is scary…
Mama breastfeeded Little Mukuro and after that we sleep in our crib.
Days pass.
And Mama spends less time with us.
Mama looked to be in pain.
But Mama never stopped smiling.
I'm worried about Mama.
While we were sleeping on the couch with Mama, until Mama's voice woke us up.
Mama was yelling.
Mama's voice was breaking.
My ears were hurting.
I start to cry.
Little Mukuro started to cry too.
And Mama sounded like she was about to cry as well.
Mama brushed my hair with one arm while brushing Little Mukuro's with her other.
But Mama's yelling didn't stop.
Mama tried to not scream, but she couldn't help it.
When Little Mukuro stopped crying, Mama grabbed something, flipped it, and put it on her ear.
Not soon later Mama says Papa's name.
Did we do something to Mama?
Will Mama start hating us?
The pit in my stomach grew bigger.
Papa suddenly appeared rushing from the brown door. He had light blue clothes. Like that big woman when we were with ex-mama..
"Hun! I'm here! focus on me. Keep your eyes on me. I've got you."
"Ken… it… hurts…"
"I can only imagine. We'll be going to the hospital asap."
"B-But I'm not supposed to give birth till later! A-And the girls-!"
"I'll call mom. But right now we need to get you to Tsumiki-senpai or any doctor for that matter."
Papa then took Mama away.
No…
Please don't leave us…
Please don't abandon us…
We've been good…
I beg you…
But Mama and Papa left, and the brown wall closed.
We were…
Alone.
This wasn't the first time Mama and Papa left us at home.
But this didn't feel like those other times.
Mama always said she'd come back.
She didn't say it this time.
Would Mama not come back?
Did mama left us?
I…
I do not want that.
I love Mama.
I do not want Mama to be taken away from me.
I want to cry.
But I do not want to cry as well.
I want to stop crying.
But I'm sad.
Little Mukuro never stopped looking at me.
But she does nothing.
She is too dumb to understand.
She is too dumb to understand that maybe Mama and Papa left us forever.
I feel water coming from my eyes.
Until the brown thing makes some fumblings noises.
"Argh, come on, piece of, god damn you."
Can doors talk?
What is a door again?
Oh, the brown wall, right.
The door opens.
…
It's not Mama or Papa who opens it.
It's a woman I've never seen before.
She is bigger than Mama.
She has very dark brown hair like Papa.
But she looks… not younger than Mama
And she looks thinner than Mama
Mama does have a big belly though…
The woman looks at us.
She smiles for a brief moment before brushing it off while walking towards us.
"It's so good to finally meet you girls but we need to hurry." The woman said while stretching her arms at me.
I'm scared.
I do not know this woman.
I cry in fear.
Is this woman going to take me from Mama?
I want Mama back.
The woman winces with my cries before she gets to grab me.
She looks over to Little Mukuro.
She is not afraid.
But she is sad.
She is starting to understand that Mama is not here.
Maybe Little Mukuro is not so dumb.
She is about to cry as well.
"Girls…" Her voice is tender. "I know you must be afraid. Just…"
She looks around the room and walks towards something.
She comes back with… two things in her hands.
Mukuro's 'wolf'.
And my teddy bear.
I want my teddy bear back!
She places them next to us.
Little Mukuro quickly grabs her wolfy.
I grab my teddy bear as well.
"Please don't cry. I'm here to take you to your mom. But we need to be quick."
Our mom?
Does she mean Mama?
She knows Mama?
Or… does she know ex-mama?
I'm… afraid.
I don't want to go back to ex-mama.
I stop crying, but I'm still very afraid.
Little Mukuro is not sad anymore though.
The woman took this as a sign and grabbed us.
What is a sign?
We leave through the brown door.
I don't understand
Where are we going?
I cannot move.
I'm scared.
Where are you Mama?
The woman brought us to another weird thing, just like the one Papa uses.
Sometimes the woman clasps her hands together and mumbles some words I do not understand.
When we left the weird thing, The woman brought us to a familiar place.
It's where we left ex-mama.
And where Mama became our Mama.
We went through an invisible door. It was there but I can not see it.
She talked to a lot of people
What are people?
She asked for Mama's name.
A white clothed woman told her something and we the woman that took us started walking somewhere.
We were in her hands for the entire time.
We went wherever she went.
The woman opens a door with her shoulder.
There is a person.
"So you decided to come here old man?"
The woman talks to that person.
No….
That's…
Mama's Papa.
"I wouldn't have missed it for anything in my life."
"Hmm."
Is this why she took us?
To 'find us a good family'?
To take us away from Mama?
No…
I begin to cry.
She rocks me in her arms.
"And you are older than me for… what? 9 years?"
"Yeah? I'm not the one with gray hair just yet."
"Because I didn't dye it… I don't have to… unlike others…"
"This is all natural!"
"You wish, you old hag."
This woman knows Mama's papa.
Is she Mama's Mama?
Are they taking us away?
"How is she? Where's Ken?"
"The water fountain broke. Ken asked to be part of the surgery."
"He's been preparing for this day."
Papa?
What is Papa doing?
What is a water fountain?
What happens this day?
I do not understand.
I do not like to not understand.
"Are you going to take care of them?" Grandaddy asked.
The woman that holds us raised an eyebrow
"What do you mean?"
"That's why you are here, no? Haru asked you to take care of the girls from now on."
The woman's face looked really dumb after he said that.
Wait, girls?
Us?
Taking care?
"Do you even know your own daughter?"
Grandaddy groans… "She just can't listen to me, can she?"
"Eh… You don't have the clearest judgment if You ask me." The woman shrugs, "Had she listened to you, she wouldn't have married my Ken, like you wanted."
"Before you twist my words, Oba, I never was against Haru marrying him. I was against her marrying at all."
"So she could always be your little girl? Aw… So there IS a soft side in that grumpy heart of yours after all!"
Grandaddy shakes his head. "Marriage is inherently flawed. A bunch of excuses to complicate everyone's life. In 30 years or less it will become utterly pointless, if not already is. Mark my words."
The woman 'Oba' scoffed "Then why did you marry your wife at all?"
"You can call it 'True love' if you want to."
Oba narrowed her eyes.
I'm getting bored.
Nothing happens.
I was very scared of 'Oba' taking us away from Mama.
But we never left grandaddy.
Oba and grandaddy keep talking
Little Mukuro fell asleep.
A woman dressed just like papa opens the door.
Grandaddy and Oba quickly stand up.
"Is everything alright nurse?" Oba was the first to ask, beating grandaddy to it.
"I assume you are the relatives of Haru Naegi-Suzuki. Correct?."
"Yes." Grandaddy answered. "I am Makoto Suzuki, her father"
"Oba Naegi. I'm her husband's mother"
"It is my pleasure to tell you that the procedure has been successful and the baby has been born completely healthy."
"Thank god" Oba exhaled.
"Can we see them?"
I perked up at this
Are we going to see mama again?
"I'm afraid not. Miss Haru has overworked herself and we believe it'd be for the best if she gets enough rest to handle any visitors."
We… can't see mama?
Why?
Does Mama don't want to see us?
Does Mama don't want to see me?
I…
I don't…
Understand…
Grandaddy bitterly smiled and nodded. "Whatever's best for her wellbeing."
Oba did not stay silent though. "Could you at least tell my Ken to come with us? After Haru gets better."
The nurse smiled and nodded. "I'll make sure nurse Naegi comes here."
"Thank you."
The 'nurse' left the room and Grandaddy and Oba sat once more.
Why can't we see mama?
I don't get it.
I want to see mama.
I want to be with mama.
I miss mama.
The pit in my stomach re-appears.
But this time grows bigger than I ever felt it before.
I hate this pit in my stomach.
But I want to be happy.
If I do not hate this feeling, would it make me happy?
Could I force myself to not hate this feeling?
Could I force myself to love this feeling?
Could I force myself to embrace despair?
Time passes.
Nothing happens.
Little Mukuro sleeps.
Grandaddy shakes his leg in his seat.
Oba stares at the ceiling.
What is a ceiling?
I do not care.
I'm bored.
I want Mama.
The door opens.
It is not Mama.
But is Papa.
He still had those those light-blue clothes.
What is light-blue?
What is blue?
I do not care.
"You sure took your time, Naegi." Grandaddy spoke rather coldly.
I do not care.
"Mr. Makoto." Papa nods at him. He's not too happy, but not angry. Just wary.
"How is she?"
"Tired. Sleeping as we speak. She's very weak now."
Grandaddy nods in response. "She's fine, right?"
Papa smiles. "We did our best. She will get better later on."
"And Makoto?"
"With the neonatologist. We didn't want to give him up but, since we did a cesarean section…"
Grandaddy stood silent.
"He's beautiful."
Grandaddy stares at him in silence.
And scoffs. "Of course. He's got my blood after all."
Papa shakes his head and walks past Grandaddy, coming near me and Oba.
"Mom." Papa says, a smile on his face.
"Ken." Oba grins.
Papa sighs as Oba hands him a Little Mukuro, waking up to see him.. "Of course, you too would call me that…"
Wait, Oba is… Papa's Mama? and not Mama's Mama?
"I see the three of you met each other." Papa spoke.
"Yeah… have you got an idea how scared I was! When you suddenly sent me that message I could only pray that everything would be alright!"
"Yeah… Sorry about that ma… But at least the girls met you!"
"Rig- wait. Oh my god."
"What?"
"I never introduced myself."
Papa stared at Oba with a dumb look.
"They must have been so scared! A random woman entering their house and taking them away! I'm so so sorry girls" Oba turned to me and Little Mukuro desperately
What is desperate?
I do not care.
"My name is Oba Naegi! And I'm your grandmother! You have no idea how badly I wanted to meet the two of you! Dear Haru and my Ken have told me so many things about you."
"Can you drop the whole Ken thing? It was funny at first but-"
"Nice to meet you!"
"Of course you'd interrupt me."
So Oba is Papa's Mama?
And Oba wants us?
Will she take us away from Mama and Papa?
Or Oba wants us to be with Mama and Papa?
I do not know
I… do not like to not know.
"Hold on. Are you joking?"
"Excuse me?"
"Did I hear that right? You left two babies alone in your home?"
"Now you've got to handle three kids. A single child is already hard enough work. And you tell me you left the two of them alone, unsupervised?"
"I-It was an emergency! Haru was in pain and-"
"Then why didn't you just take the kids with you? Did it slip your mind or something?"
"..."
Papa didn't answer back to grandaddy.
"Goodness. It's even worse than I thought. If the two of you were alone s-"
"They aren't alone."
Oba interrupted grandaddy Makoto.
Grandaddy raised an eyebrow.
"They've got the both of us! They aren't alone in this when they don't have to! How can you just scrape them away about this?"
"They are grown adults, Oba. They are SUPPOSED to look after themselves."
"But that doesn't mean they must struggle, we can-"
"This is what they chose to do. They are the ones that want to look after kids that aren't even theirs to begin with."
"How can you say that! Why do you refuse to even acknowledge them? They are little babies! Why can't we just help them with it?"
"Because we won't always be here, Oba. You should be well aware of that."
"...Eh?"
Both papa and Oba- no, grandmama were confused.
"You think that I'll abandon my daughter just because she doesn't listen to me? I'm still here."
"You are not making sense!"
"You lot aren't making sense! They want to raise three kids! Three! And they've got no clue how to raise even one."
"I raised three kids! on my own! I-"
"It's not the same Oba. Each kid of yours had a gap of a couple of years. And your husband was around till one of them became an adult. These are triplets. They'll grow at the same rate. And the two of them will learn to parent at the same rate as well, but will be demanded triple for it."
"Then we'll manage!" Papa finally spoke out. "If the issue is money, then we can always sell-"
"Money is not the issue." Grandaddy cut Papa "This is a conversation we need to have with Haru."
"We have the same right as her to-"
"I said we. I never excluded you from it. In fact. This is a talk that involves ALL of us… the two of them included."
Grandaddy glanced at me and Little Mukuro.
Grandaddy don't want us to be with mama.
I do not want to be with grandaddy Makoto.
I'm bored.
Nothing happens.
I'm bored.
Papa and Grandmama.
I'm bored.
Grandaddy Makoto stays in a corner and keeps being broody to himself.
I'm bored.
Little Mukuro sleeps in grandmama's arms.
She misses mama.
I miss mama.
I'm bored.
Nothing happens.
Papa then left the room saying he was going to see Mama.
I wailed when he handed me to Grandmama Oba.
I want to go with Papa.
I want to see Mama.
But Papa left me.
"Tssk." I heard grandaddy make a noise.
"Got something to say?"
"The moron doesn't even realize what his kid wants."
"Will you stop? I get your vibe is to be 'stern' and 'strict' but you are just being a grumpy old man."
"You are older than me, Oba. You should be the most responsible parent here."
"And that's exactly why I want them to take care of these two."
"...You are kidding."
Oba looked at him confused.
"You are not telling me you want them to take over two children that aren't theirs in order to become more responsible. You are not telling me that, are you?"
"No! Wha- Why do you always think there's an ulterior motive to everything?"
"Why do people do anything then?"
"They are babies Makoto! Babies! They have no one else! What did you want?! You wanted your daughter to throw them in the trash or something?!" Grandmama said, her voice trembling a little..
"Of course not." Grandaddy raised his voice a little.
"Then why are you treating saving them as a mistake?!"
"I NEVER said saving them was a mistake!"
Oba glared at grandaddy.
And Grandaddy glared at her back.
"I'm completely proud of the woman my daughter became. She's the sweetest person I've ever had the chance to see. And I don't even comprehend where such kindness came."
Grandaddy sat in his chair again.
"That makes two of us..." Grandmama muttered under her breath.
"But this… this madness… She's going to overexert herself. She's…" Grandaddy stared at the ground for a moment."
Oba eyed him. Granddaddy's demeanor had changed.
But it was not after a single breath that he gathered himself. "She's not ready." Grandaddy stared back at Grandmama defiantly.
"I wasn't ready when I had Kono." Grandmama spoke.
"I wasn't ready when I had Kinbe." Her voice was beginning to break.
"It's not the-"
"I wasn't ready when I had Keiichi!"
"Oba, I'm telling you, it cannot compa-"
"And I wasn't ready when I lost Reiji!"
"Ob-!"
"BOTH OF YOU!"
Grandmama and Granddaddy turned towards the scream.
It was Papa.
"Let's not fight now. Haru just woke up. She wants to see us. She…"
Papa looked at me.
"She wants to see the girls."
Mama!
Papa grabbed me while Grandmama grabbed Little Mukuro.
Grandmama and Granddaddy followed Papa.
He opened a couple of doors.
And she was there.
Her skin was whiter.
She looked so tired.
But she was as beautiful as ever.
Mama.
I started to cry.
I wanted to reach her with my arms.
But I was too small.
Papa then hastily walked towards Mama and placed me in her arms.
I missed her warmth.
Even if it was weaker now.
I thought I'd never see you again.
"M-My dear Junko… I-I'm so sorry… Y-You mus-st have been s-so scared…"
Mama was crying.
Why?
D-Did I make Mama cry?
I d-do not want Mama to be sad.
I-I'm sorry Mama…
Grandmama placed Little Mukuro in mama's other arm.
"Muku… I'm sorry to you too…"
Little Mukuro was so silent all this time.
She would only stare. She didn't do anything else.
But as she heard mama's words again.
She started to cry.
"I'm so sorry. I-I'm so sorry." Mama started crying too.
Mama strongly hugged us.
And I do not want her to let go.
I want to be in her arms forever.
Papa and Grandmama sat near us. With tears in their eyes.
Granddaddy Makoto stared aside, his body shaking a little.
Why can't granddaddy Makoto let us be a family?
I want us to be a family.
"We… we need to talk Haru dear."
"You've got to be kidding me old man." Grandmama protested.
"No, Miss Oba… It's fine. I'm… ready for this."
Oba glanced at Mama awkwardly, and then glared back to Granddaddy Makoto.
But she didn't say another word.
Mama and Granddaddy stared at each other in silence.
There wasn't hatred in their eyes. But… conviction?
What is conviction?
"I-I'm not giving them away father."
"Are you aware of the toll that this will mean to you in the future?"
"Yes."
"But are you?"
"Don't throw curveballs at me dad, not the time."
"What I mean is. That you don't seem fully aware of what you could lose. What you have, and what you won't have."
"Father. I'm sorry I quitted my job, but I don't regret it one bit."
"You don't regret it now, and you don't know what the future awaits for you."
"I'm sorry I'm not the perfect daughter you envisioned working for a high-"
"I don't care about you quitting telemarketing or not, or being a housewife even if we spent money on your college education! It would all matter absolutely nothing to me if it meant your happiness."
"Then why are you so against me being happy with the girls?"
"Because you can be so much more than that. I don't want you… I don't… I…"
Grandaddy Makoto stopped for a moment. He took a deep breath.
"I don't want you to become a worthless housewife-"
"That's my decis-"
"That by overworking herself raising three little kids that will tire her endlessly-"
"But I w-"
"And should her become bedridden her only life expectancy would only be his husband, becoming fully dependent on him to do absolutely anything. Being unable to live her life the way she used to…"
"...That's…"
"I… don't want you to share the same fate your mother got."
"But she-"
"She didn't raise three kids. She raised you only. And just… look how she ended…"
Mama stared at Granddaddy Makoto. Sorrow filling her in.
"Two years bedridden, needing help to wash, to go to the bathroom. She can't walk, she can't fix herself in the bed to be comfortable... That's not life, that's…"
He sighed. "We both know she's not getting better. We both know what awaits her. I'm no fool. And she's no fool either."
"Dad…"
"I'm proud of the woman you became, Haru. But I'm completely terrified of what you might be in the next few years. These three children… they will make you… or break you… And I can't stop myself from being terrified about it."
Mama and Papa took a mutual gaze before Mama answered to Granddaddy. "I… I see you point dad. But I'm not giving up on the girls. Not here, not now, and definitely not ever."
"You can be so stubborn at times."
"I learned from the best…"
A knock is heard on the door.
Another nurse walks in the room.
And she's carrying… something in her arms.
"Thank you lord."
"Heh… he's my living image."
"He's even more beautiful now."
"Makoto…"
The nurse placed the thing between Little Mukuro and me.
It was… another baby.
Like Little Mukuro and me
But it wasn't like Little Mukuro and me.
It was different.
It was not a sister.
"I congratulate you Ms. Naegi. He's as handsome as Keiichi here."
"Please, call me Haru. A-And thank you. Thank you for taking good care of him."
Mama sounded as if she was going to cry again.
"Please. It's my job." The nurse smiled as she started to leave.
When the nurse left, Oba nudged Papa with her elbow.
"Flirting with you colleagues I see?"
"Ma! Are you kidding?"
"I dare you to be unfaithful to your wife."
"Haru, dear?"
"Don't worry Miss Oba. She's someone we both know."
"Thank yo-"
"It's Mr. Tsumiki who we should be worried about."
"Oh my… I didn't know you swung that way Ken."
"Argh…"
"Before I forget. I must ask something."
"Yes dad?"
"How truly is it? Keiichi or Kenichi?"
"That's a funny story actually!"
"Not this again…"
"When we first met, Ken dear was so nervous he introduced himself as Ken, and I spent years believing that…"
I do not care.
Everyone was laughing
But me.
I did not care.
I could only stare at him
Not Papa.
Not Grandaddy Makoto.
Makoto.
He took mama away from us
He took mama away from me.
I will not let him take mama from me.
I will not let him.
I will be happy.