STARSKY & HUTCH
Brownies
SHFAFF – STORY IDEA BY: Nancy Kitt Copp March 2019
Written by: Startisparticus2017
Chapter 1
It was late morning, and what looked like chaos at The Pits. The bar looked like a cyclone had hit it. Tables and chairs were toppled over. Huggy stood with his arms crossed over his chest and glared at the mess before him. The hard-pressed lips and flared nostrils left an impression of frustration.
The swinging doors to the kitchen area swung open. A petite Asian woman carrying a tray of freshly baked brownies smiled at the unsettled bar owner. She was a new chef at Huggy's establishment. Her five-foot-two-inch stature and friendly grandmother-like demeanor comforted you instantly. "Mr. Huggy, I baked some brownies for my grandson. He will be in later." She placed the tray on the counter near the scowling man. "I don't know what happened, Mr. Huggy." Her smile extended from ear to ear as stray strands of gray hair fell from the ponytail onto her forehead. She reached out with her hand and patted Huggy's shoulder. "I make more brownies and prepare today's special. All will be fine, you see."
Still dazed, the tall barkeep smiled. "They sure do smell good, Lin Sue." He looked around once more and shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not sure what they were after."
A young Asian man entered slowly and glanced around the bar. He wore a leather bomber-type jacket in black with his hands tucked in the pockets. "Mr. Huggy, Grandmother, what happened?"
Lin Sue opened her arms and embraced her grandson. "Mr. Huggy had an unpleasant visit from bad people." She walked back to the bar, produced three neatly stacked pastry boxes, and extended them to the shocked young man.
"Thank you, Grandmother. Did you use the ingredients I brought for you?" He raised his eyebrows and appeared a little nervous.
The older woman smiled fondly. "Yes, Chen." A quick glance toward Huggy, who seemed a million miles away in thought, "You run along now." She blew him a kiss and went back to the kitchen.
Chen looked at Huggy, shrugged his shoulders, and left quickly, almost bumping into Hutch. "Mr. Hutch and Mr. Starsky, it is wonderful to see you; I must go." He swiftly exited.
Hutch was startled and confused by the young man's need to leave. Starsky stood aside and watched, raising his eyebrows. "Where's the fire? Was it somethin' we said?"
Huggy raised his arms upward. "I called you two over an hour ago!" He dropped his arms and placed his hands on his hips. "I thought that car of yours was fast, Curly?" His eyes bulged with anxiety and frustration.
Starsky's features perked with excitement when he noticed the brownies on the counter of the bar. "We got here as fast as we could, Hug. It's no secret that there's smog and traffic this time of morning. The contributing factor is that we took Hutch's bucket of rust and bolts. I rest my case." He made a bee line for the brownies. "Smells good."
Hutch frowned and shook his head. "My buck… my car had nothing to do with our delay, Starsky, we're here on official business, not your stomach. Hug here needs our undivided attention." A set of sympathetic blue eyes wandered to the still unstable business owner.
Lin Sue reappeared from the kitchen with another tray of fresh brownies and placed them on the counter. She smiled warmly at the two detectives. "Mr. Starsky and Mr. Hutch, I baked too many; I will put a box together for you." She pulled a small box from beneath the counter, placed the brownies one at a time, and handed Starsky one of the warm treats.
Starsky's eyes widened. He willingly took it and displayed a joyful grin. He bit into the moist chocolate pastry and then closed his eyes. Like a juvenile, he stuffed more of the gooey confection into his mouth. He chewed wholeheartedly and then licked his lips and fingers. "This is the best brownie I ever tasted."
Hutch rolled his eyes and put his hand up. "None for me, Lin Sue." He patted his stomach. "One of us needs to keep their physique."
She completed the task of boxing the brownies and returned to the kitchen.
Hutch refocused and addressed the issue at hand—a very unhappy Huggy Bear. "What time did you get here this morning?" He was briefly distracted by his partner's romance with a second brownie.
Starsky stopped briefly and glared at him. "What? I'm hungry." He continued to chew with emphasis.
Huggy took a deep breath in an attempt to relax. "I slept in the apartment upstairs, a late night." He took a glimpse of the carnage taking place near him and raised one side of his mouth in disgust. "I heard what sounded like a tornado ripping through around 5:30 this morning. By the time I got down here, this is what you see. The kitchen was ripped apart too. They were long gone, Compadre'."
The brunet licked his thumb as he walked around the bar. "Did they take anythin'?" He stooped over, picked up a chair, and placed it upright.
Huggy sat on a stool near the bar. He shrugged his shoulders and looked around. "The cash was in the safe. These turkeys were lookin' for somethin' more than cash. They got in through the back door with a crowbar. One of your boys in blue took it for evidence." The stressed informant yawned. "Lin Sue cleaned the kitchen. I've got a business to run."
Starsky encountered something with his tennis shoe, which caused him to step back. He bent over and retrieved a round campaign pin. Delicately, he held it between his fingers. "Fraternity pin of some kind. Bay University election pin. Vote for Brian Litz." He scanned around the floor momentarily, then looked at his partner.
Huggy crossed his arms and sighed. "Blond kid and five other prep boys were here. All under age. I had Jaico, my new bouncer, escort them to the exit." Suspiciously, he scanned the floor. "This place was clean when I went to bed. I know because I cleaned it. That was not here, ya dig?" Wide speculating eyes gazed at the two detectives.
Hutch retrieved a brown paper bag and extended it to his partner. "I don't know; I could be wrong, but maybe those fraternity boys wanted revenge. We'll take this in as evidence. Don't worry, Hug, we'll find who did this." He smiled.
Starsky strutted over to the counter and took the box of brownies in hand. He extracted a couple of dollars from his tight blue jean pocket and placed them on the counter. "Thanks Hug." A wide mischievous smile grew as he followed his partner to the exit.
Chapter 2
Huggy rubbed his face and yawned as he entered the kitchen. Lin Sue was washing the brownie pans and placing them in the adjoining sink. She smiled as she did her task. Huggy noted the round metal bowl that still held some of the batter and made his way over. He extracted a spoon from the silverware drawer and stuck it into the batter. "How many brownies did you make, woman?" He placed the milky chocolate in his mouth, and delight overtook his features.
Lin Sue chuckled. "I make five dozen for Chen. I make for the bake sale at college." She extracted a towel and wiped her hands. "I make it with a special ingredient. Grandson, bring it to me." The stout woman pulled a brown-wrapped brick-like package and placed it on the counter. Displayed in a torn opening were green dried herbs. "Green tea leaf, I make my own recipe. Grandson asked me to make. He said very popular in college." Her smile emanated pride.
A scowl had formed on the tall, thin black man's face, and it frightened Lin Sue. She stepped back. "What's the matter, Mr. Huggy?" Genuine concern encompassed her question.
Huggy dropped the spoon onto the counter and looked at the opening of the brown paper block. He took the package and sniffed the greenish, brownish dried ingredient. His eyes widened. "Lin Sue, this ain't no tea; this is pot, marijuana." His voice raised a few octaves. "How much of this stuff did Chen give you?"
The elderly woman was shocked. She pulled a brown paper bag from beneath the counter, which held another two bricks of neatly wrapped marijuana. "The boys told me it was tea! Forgive me, Mr. Huggy." Her eyes watered, and her voice quivered with emotion.
With his jaw dropped, Huggy went to the woman and comforted her by rubbing her shoulder. "You didn't know. Well, we know why this place was raided." Shock overtook his features. "We've got a bigger problem. Starsky ate some of those brownies."
Chapter 3
Hutch drove the battered Galaxie. He glared over at the passenger seat as he stopped at a traffic light. Starsky was devouring another brownie. The smile that adorned his features between the large bites was amusing and gross at the same time. The cake-like dessert left its evidence on his teeth. "How many of those have you eaten?" He raised his eyebrow and cringed.
Starsky's face glowed. He chewed and took a deep breath. "Four or five? Do ya want one? There's one more left." He extended the box. His smile was infectious as he glared at his partner with sparkling blue eyes.
Refocusing, the blond resumed driving and smiled. "No! You know what they say, Starsk—it's always toughest on the ones left behind. You keep eating like that; you're going to die of a sugar overdose." He took a deep breath. They pulled into the Bay City PD parking lot and into a parking spot near the garage door. Both men exited the car in unison. Starsky bit into the last brownie. His usual buoyant strut appeared slightly sluggish. His mannerism appeared almost nonchalant. Walking by a trash can, he tossed the box, almost losing his balance. "Whoopsie." He recovered and laughed.
Hutch walked beside him and noticed this odd behavior. The tall blond extended his hand to stabilize his partner as they continued to walk. "What is with you anyways? If I didn't know better, I'd say you were drunk." A little agitation escaped into his words.
Starsky pulled his shoulders back and continued to walk slightly off-path. He stumbled and started giggling uncontrollably. He covered his mouth with his hand but failed to stop the obnoxious snorting that followed with a muted cackle. They entered the elevator with the blond staring at the man he called a partner and his overly dramatic behavior. Starsky leaned his head onto his partner's shoulder and fought all instincts of laughter. He reached over and pressed every button on the elevator panel. Lifting his head, he blinked, or rather batted his eyelashes, raised his hand, and patted his blond counterpart's cheek. "Temper…temper. Are ya mad at me, Blondie?" He winked. "Life is beautiful. You are beautiful."
Hutch swatted at the floating hands as they hovered playfully. His brows were raised, and his eyes were wide. "Starsky, will you knock it off?" He raised his hands and grasped his partner's arms. "I'm not mad! What is with you?" Prominent creases formed on his forehead.
Starsky continued to giggle uncontrollably and sway side to side. He stopped and widened his eyes. "I feel great. I never felt better, Pal." A toothy, crooked smile appeared on his face as he focused on his flustered friend. "Your eyes are beautiful, partner. They look like... like the eyes of an Eskimo dog. What do they call 'em? A Husky. Hey, Husky could be Hutch and Starsky put together. Ya… know an acronym-anym." The cackling continued with an occasional snort. "I bet ya didn't know I knew that. Wait... wait, ya look like a koala, Hutch." A goofy grin formed, and then he frowned. "Koalas aren't blond. Oh, I know a Siamese cat. Meow." His speech slurred slightly. He scrunched his nose and cupped the stunned blond's face. "You're beautiful, babe." The squeezing of Hutch's face caused his lips to pucker. "Now, ya look like a beautiful, blue-eyed blond fish." Starsky's voice mimicked that of a child speaking as he resumed the excessive laughing and squealing sounds. His body movements were delayed, slower, and almost awkward.
Hutch reached over and pressed the stop button on the elevator panel. He pulled away from his friend's hands, grabbed his partner's chin, and looked into his eyes. The tall blond's hand pulled away and dropped, and his mouth opened with shock, glazing his features. "Starsky, you're stoned. How? You were fine a half hour ago."
His hand quickly released the elevator from the stopped position. Hutch covered his mouth with his hand as he thought. "I've got to get you out of here." The elevator door opened; they were on the fifth floor. Starsky continued to sway and chuckle as Hutch escorted him to an interrogation room. The efforts glorified the actions of a Laurel and Hardy scene. Once in the room and certain no one had seen them, Hutch grabbed the phone on the table, removed the handset, and dialed. He watched his partner, who now lay on the interrogation room table on his back, humming and looking at the ceiling. "Hey Minnie, this is Hutch. Let Dobey know I'm having car issues. I'm in room five on the fifth floor." He took a deep breath. "I need a favor; stall our meeting as long as you can."
Minnie stood at the front desk with her elbows on the counter. She scanned the station area. "I'll do what I can." She stood and pulled her shoulders back as Captain Dobey walked by and nodded. "Dobey's here." She whispered. "Oh, yeah, Huggy Bear is looking for you and Starsky. He said it was urgent."
Swallowing the panic rising from his chest, Hutch glanced at his partner, who was pointing at the ceiling, and smiled. "Minnie, can you patch me through to Huggy?"
The phone rang across town, behind the bar at Huggy's. The barkeep rushed over, tossing the cloth he was using to wipe the shot glasses over his shoulder. He grasped the handset and put it in his ear. "The Pits, it's your lucky day; this is the bear speaking."
Mesmerized by his partner's rendition of the theme to The Monkeys, Hutch cleared his throat. "Minnie said you called. I'm assuming you know something about Davy Jones's condition. His voice held irritation.
The distracting off-key singing in the background caused the dark man to pull the handset away and look at it briefly. "I suggest he stay with his day job, if you know what I mean?" He glanced around the bar to make sure he was alone. "The brownies were laced with Mary Jane. Long story… Lin Sue's grandson told her it was tea; the rest is history, my man. There are about 4 kilos in my kitchen."
Starsky pointed to the ceiling mid-song and stopped. "Hey… Hutch. If ya follow the dots on the ceiling, starting at one to a hundred... It's in the shape of an orangutan. I never saw that before; did ya know the ceiling was like that?" He licked his lips and started to sing again.
Hutch rolled his eyes and sighed. "Well, it's far from history here, Hug. He's baked. I need to get him out of here before Dobey or anyone else finds out." He glanced back again. "He ate all the brownies." His voice held tension as he rubbed his temple.
"Tiny bubbles in the wine... makes me feel happy; makes me feel fine." The brunet sung to the top of his lungs as the song echoed in the stale open room.
On edge, Hutch stepped closer to his partner and placed his hand over his mouth. "Starsky, would you keep it down?" His voice held agitation. "Now, keep quiet." Slowly, he removed his hand.
Starsky grasped his partner's hand and examined it, then his fingers, with intensity. "Hutch, your hands are so soft. Your cuticles are very well manicured." He raised his eyebrows and tilted his head with amazement, painting his drug-induced features.
Hutch pulled his hand. "I need a place to hold out until he's clean." His jaw was rigid. "In the meantime, find out what you can about Chen and his frat boys. They have some explaining to do."
Huggy took a deep breath. "You got it, Goldie Locks. Good luck with, not, so Dean Martin."
Chapter 4
Huggy placed the handset in the cradle of the phone. Chen stood holding the boxes he left with earlier. He placed the boxes on the table and pocketed his hands, embarrassment staining his features. "I'm sorry, Mr. Huggy. I shouldn't have lied to you and Grandmother. The weed belongs to Todd's uncle. He took it, thinking we could make some money for our campaign."
Huggy leaned onto the counter. "So, who ransacked my place?"
Chen walked toward the counter and sat on the stool. He pursed his lips. "Todd, Jake, and Everett, I swear, Mr. Huggy. Mr. Denosia, Todd's uncle, is really ticked off. He told them if he didn't have the goods back by noon tomorrow, he…we aren't going to make our graduation." His voice quivered with fear.
The rattle of the kitchen door caught both men's attention. The older women scowled; she walked to her grandson's side. "I am very disappointed; you lie to me. The tea…marijuana, I put in the trunk of my car. It was not here for friends to find." She crossed her arms over her chest.
Huggy grabbed the handset from the phone and started to dial. "We have bigger fish to fry. Starsky's on a chill ride and could lose his badge. If Mr. Denosia is one Xavier Denosia, we're all in for some trouble." He rubbed his neck and looked at the young boy. "I suggest you get your sidekick Todd here and he return the stash, or we turn it into the police. In the meantime, leave it in the trunk of the car."
Chapter 5
Minnie exited the elevator and looked up and down the hallway as she walked quickly to room number five. She entered without knocking and found Starsky lying on his back, pointing at the ceiling. Hutch was at the door immediately and placed himself between Minnie and his partner. "Minnie, what the hell are you doing here?" He pulled her in and closed the door quietly.
The startled brunette adjusted her black-rimmed glasses and crossed her arms. "If I'm going to cover for you, lover boy, I need to know what's going on." She turned her attention to the obvious issue at hand. "Your partner is Schnitzel." A playful side-ways grin formed. "Huggy called, and he said to tell you that those kids got their hands on Denosia's stash; one of the kids is his nephew. They apparently went back to find the goods. They have until noon tomorrow to produce it or else."
Hutch cupped his face with both hands and pulled downward. The stress was marking its territory all over the detective's face. A deep sigh escaped. "This is just great. My partner is in Lala Land, all because a bunch of kids conjured a money-making gimmick with laced brownies. They just ticked off one of the biggest drug lords in Bay City." Looking at the ceiling briefly "I've got to get him out of here."
Starsky rolled on the table and sat up. He winked at Minnie. "Hey pretty lady, whata ya say you and I go to the vending machine, I'll buy ya a snack? I'm hungry." His eyes were glossy as he glared at her. He reached into his pocket, lying on his side. He extracted his hand and opened it to display lint. "Hutch, may I borrow a dime or two?" He sat back up, swaying, and started to chortle out of control again.
Minnie reached into her pocket and pulled out some change. "Relax; I got a plan. I'll be back. I'm off duty. I'll get him some candy bars." She winked at Starsky and placed her hand on Hutch's arm. "I got your back, handsome." She started to exit the room and then stopped to look at Hutch. "District Attorney Donovan canceled the meeting; Internal Affairs pushed the meeting to tomorrow. Captain Dobey still wants the two of you here, pronto." She exited the room.
Starsky jumped to his feet, swayed a little, and headed toward the door. Hutch stepped in his path, pressing his hand onto the determined brunet's chest. "Where do you think you're going?"
Starsky gave his partner a wide, high-voltage smile. "Ya heard, Minnie, Capt'n wants to see us, Blintz." He licked his lips and raised his eyebrows to emphasize.
Hutch chuckled. "Sorry, pal, but that's not possible in the state you are in." Hutch redirected his wobbly counterpart back to the table and pulled a chair for him to sit on.
Chapter 6
Across the city, in a very prestigious office high rise, Denosia sat in his plush leather chair. He was an attractive middle-aged man with well-manicured salt and pepper hair. His chiseled, rigid chin and jaw line expressed anger as he glared at a young man sitting in the chair before his mahogany desk. The boy bowed his head. Two rather large men stood behind him in suits and wore sunglasses.
Denosia slammed his fist onto the desk. The young man was startled and looked at him with wide green eyes. "I'm sorry." His voice quivered.
Denosia waved his hand, and the two suited men exited the office. "Todd, you disappoint me. May your father rest in peace. I have mentored you and paid for your college and future, as I promised my brother. You repay me by stealing." The man rubbed his forehead gently as he stared at the frightened boy. "Where's the merchandise?"
The boy sat up straight and cleared his throat. He appeared to swallow several times as sweat formed on his brow. "It was at that bar. Chen gave it to his grandmother, and she made brownies to raise money for our campaign for Litz. She cooks at that bar, The Pits. We didn't find the stuff." His voice trembled.
The man behind the desk took a deep breath. The darkness of his eyes appeared to grow in size, almost encompassing them completely. "Well, your friend and his grandmother better produce my stash." His words were precise and venomous.
Todd squirmed in the seat. He couldn't get comfortable. "Uncle, there's a problem." He raised his head and stared at his very unhappy uncle. "Chen's friends- they're cops. Detective Starsky and Hutchinson." The boy trembled as he watched his uncle stand and lean onto the desk with both hands firmly placed.
The angry man pressed his lips together and glared. "I suggest you contact your friend and make it clear to him that those two cops don't get involved. Get what you stole and return it." He stood and wiped moisture from the side of his mouth. "Let that kid know, the stuff or his grandmother."
The boy jumped to his feet and exited the room. He nervously made his way down the hall to a pay phone and inserted a dime. Swallowing several times, he took a deep breath. "Yeah, it's me; where's Chen? Yeah…yeah, thanks." He hung up the phone and ran down the hall. The two suited men followed.
Chapter 7
Minnie walked down the hallway on the fifth floor, carrying a large paper bag and candy bars. She entered interrogation room number five. Starsky was sitting on the floor in the corner, holding his badge and examining it. Hutch paced back and forth in front of the table. "How's he doin'?" She glanced at Hutch and handed him several candy bars.
Hutch took them and walked over to his preoccupied partner, who was now attempting to bite the shiny silver and gold shield. "Higher than a kite. Here you go, Buddy; this might taste better." His voice was calm and soothing as he extended the candy. The buzz-induced brunet dropped his badge fold, grasped the wrapped treats. He ripped the wrapper, bit off a piece, and chewed with delight kidnapping his facial features.
Minnie placed the bag on the table. "Dobey's on a tirade. You need to get downstairs now. He saw your car. I'll stay with Starsky. I'll meet you in the parking garage in a half hour." She smiled. "Dobey thinks that Starsky has come down with the flu; you brought him home. Oh, and you had a flat tire." She reached for the stunned blond man's arm. "What are ya waiting for? Go on…get."
A large smile formed on Hutch's face and he leaned in and kissed the excited woman on the cheek. "Thanks Minnie." He exited the room quickly.
Minnie turned and looked at the figure sitting in the corner, smiling with chocolate covering his lips and chin. She shook her head from side to side. "Starsky, you're lucky I like you. You are gonna owe me big time." She grabbed the bag. "Time to get you out of here."
Hutch walked briskly toward the office area. The loud, boisterous voice of his captain echoed into the hallway. He pushed the double doors and entered. The captain stopped mid-sentence. "Where the hell have you been, Hutchinson?" His voice was above a dull roar.
Hutch took a second to catch his breath. Everyone in the room watched. "Sorry, Captain. Flat tire, I had to change it. Starsky… Starsky was running a fever. I could give you all the details, but I think it's best that I don't." He smiled bashfully as his face flushed a pale pink.
Captain Dobey pointed to his office and watched as Hutch headed in that direction. The captain followed and slammed the door. Everyone in the squad room listened. The captain's voice barked for several minutes. Hutch exited the room and closed the door quietly. It was obvious everyone was still watching. "The show's over!"
Laughter filled the room. Taking a deep breath, the blond checked the wall clock, which read 11:25 a.m. He went to his desk. There was a commotion near the elevator in the hallway that caught his attention. He walked through the double doors. Furick and Donolan from Internal Affairs were assisting an elderly woman near the elevator. Minnie stood near the woman. She looked at Hutch, then back at the elderly woman; her eyes were wide, and she appeared extremely uncomfortable.
"You take your hands off of me, ya perverts." The woman's voice was odd and had a New York accent. She swatted at the men. "I was mindin' my own business, and these two buffoons were man-handling' me." The voice was high-pitched.
Hutch's mouth opened in awe. It was his partner dressed in a pastel calf-length dress. Pale blue sweater, bun-style grey wig, and gold eyeglasses. A pink shawl draped the irritated elderly woman's shoulders. She wore white tights, low-heeled tan shoes, and a baby blue purse. Makeup covered the once masculine face. The blond detective fought all his instincts for laughter and had to act quickly. Minnie headed for the elevator. Hutch walked up to the two men and the old woman. "Excuse me, Mrs. Storkum? What seems to be the problem here?" He briefly glanced at Minnie.
The old woman pulled away from the two stunned Internal Affairs men and wrapped her arms around Hutch, almost knocking him over. "These two gorillas were assaultin' me. The tall one has the breath of a backed-up sewer." Starsky played the part well, disguising his voice, but the apparent drug-induced slur slipped through the cracks. "Oh, Detective Hutchinson. May I call ya Kenny? Ya smell so clean and organic, just like my Arnold smelled."
The taller of the two internal affairs agents, Furick, was furious. "Mrs. Storkum, might I remind you that you are in a police station? We are officers of the law." He glared at his partner, Donolan, who seemed amused by the situation.
Starsky pulled away, retrieved a handkerchief from the purse, and dabbed his nose, leaving a very dark crimson smudge on the cloth and white-laced gloves. "Kenny, darling, these rude, ape-like creatures have upset me. Could you please take me home? They're barbaric baboons." He leaned into his rigid, uncomfortable partner and wrapped his arm around him. Hutch smiled bashfully as he placed his arm awkwardly around the elderly woman and patted her gently. The blond jerked back slightly when a hand patted his buttocks. "Detective Hutchinson, you are such a handsome young man. You are a little on the thin side for my taste, but never the less a strappin' young man. Where is that handsome partner of yours? You have saved my life; how can I repay you?" Starsky, the elderly woman, snuggled against him, sniffed, and moaned as though crying.
Captain Dobey heard the commotion near the elevator and made his way over. Minnie's eyes widened even more beneath her glasses. She smiled and nudged Hutch's side. The captain cleared his throat. "Is there a problem here?" He noticed the elderly woman clinging to the blond detective. He bowed respectfully. "Pardon me, madam. I'm Captain Dobey."
Starsky stood straight and then wobbled slightly. Hutch held his arm with a vice grip. "Captain, this is Mrs. S... Storkum." He stuttered and followed with a sheepish grin. Widening his eyes and focusing on his superior, he motioned with one hand the sign of drinking too much.
Starsky scrunched his nose slightly and pursed his lips. "These two slithering Casanovas you call policemen here were manhandling' me, Captain. I suggest ya pull the reins in on them." He extended and pointed a gloved finger. "What kind of department are you runnin' here?" The New York accent escaped again as his voice cracked.
The captain's forehead exhibited several creases as he raised an eyebrow. He cleared his throat and adjusted his tie. "My apologies, Madam."
Hutch gently escorted the entity that stood next to him into the elevator, where Minnie waited. "I need to take Mrs. Storkum home. Her family, I am sure, is wondering where she is. If you'll excuse me." He smiled and, in charade form, gave them the symbol of someone drinking once again. His face blushed as he pressed the elevator button. The elderly woman stood near Hutch and kept her head bowed. She pulled her gloved hand from her side and extended a middle finger to the two officers. "Have a nice day." The door closed, leaving three very shocked men.
Hutch closed his eyes and sighed as his elderly woman partner laughed hysterically. Minnie covered her face with her hands and laughed.
Chapter 8
Hutch pulled his car into the back alley behind The Pits. Starsky exited the car, still in female attire, and headed for the kitchen entrance. Hutch opened the trunk, pulled out two overnight bags, and followed his staggering partner. Lin Sue tended to dicing carrots as Huggy entered the kitchen. He looked at the elderly woman entering the back door. "Excuse me, Madam, this is the back entrance." His jaw dropped when Starsky ripped the wig off of his head.
Lin Sue stopped what she was doing and covered her mouth. Starsky wandered over to the chopped carrots and grabbed a handful. "I don't know how women walk around in these shoes and panty hose. I'm hungry." He shoved a few carrots into his mouth and winked at Lin Sue.
Hutch walked toward Huggy. "I'd like you to meet my partner, Mrs. Storkum." Hutch dropped the two overnight bags onto the floor. He raised his hand and rubbed his throbbing head.
Huggy pressed his lips together and stared at the half-man, half-woman, curly-haired man. "You and Mrs. Storkum can take the room at the top on the right." He snorted and laughed. "Ya know somethin' you're one ugly woman, Starsky!" He continued to laugh.
Grabbing the bags, Hutch escorted his buzzed partner to the stairway to the back, laughing along with Huggy. They made the twenty steps to the top landing and entered the door on the right. Inside were two twin-sized beds and a table for two. Starsky appeared to be sluggish and sleepy. He slowly removed the clothing, but it appeared as though he wasn't really sure what he was doing. Standing in only a pair of white briefs and a blue t-shirt, Starsky rubbed his stomach and made his way to the bathroom.
Hutch had dropped the luggage near the door, removed his jacket, and sat on the bed nearest the door. A knock on the door startled him. Huggy stepped in with a tray of sandwiches and two large glasses of milk. He placed them on the table.
Starsky shouted from the bathroom. "This is amazin', Hutch!" The sound of the toilet flushing and the sound of a faucet flowing followed. The bathroom door opened, and the brunet stepped out. Pasted upon his face was a grin a mile wide. "That was amazin', just amazin'."
Huggy glared at the perplexed blond. "What?" His face held a questioning look. Hutch closed his eyes briefly and pinched his lips with his fingers.
Whisking a sandwich from the platter, Starsky rubbed his stomach with the other. "I wouldn't have believed it until now. That was amazin'." He bit into the thick sandwich and chewed. "I'm feelin' about ten pounds lighter. Sneeky Pete told me that if ya do weed, it helps things go. ya know what I mean?" The words swished between the mouths full of food.
Huggy's mouth opened and closed. He turned his head sideways and headed out the door. "He's all yours, my blond friend." Hutch looked at his partner with disgust. "Starsk, do me a favor? Eat, and don't talk. Oh, can you put on a pair of pants and wash off that makeup?" He pointed the Hutchinson finger. "You, Gordo, are one ugly woman."
Chapter 9
Hutch lay on his back on the bed with his arm draped over his forehead. There was a noise in the room that startled him. He opened his eyes and listened. A loud thud came from the bathroom. The door was partially opened. Slowly, the tired detective sat up and looked over to the empty twin bed. He catapulted to his feet and was at the bathroom door immediately. He inched his way in to find his partner, draped over the side of the toilet. The tussle of curls hung over the porcelain bowl as an occasional whispered moan escaped.
Hutch reached for the cupboard, pulled a facecloth, turned the faucet on, and soaked the cloth. He lowered himself to the floor, sat behind his nauseated friend, and reached out and pulled the weak form back onto him. Starsky's face was soaked from perspiration. His color resembled that of a white sheet. With his arm around his friend to secure him, Hutch dabbed the cool, wet cloth over his friend's pale face. Starsky relaxed immediately and leaned his head back against his sturdy companion. "Sorry if I woke ya." He took the cloth from Hutch's hands, wiped his mouth, and tossed it onto the vanity.
Hutch reached up, ruffled his partner's unruly curls, and smiled. "I was just resting my eyes. You, okay?" His voice was calm and soothing.
The brunet reached and closed the lid to the toilet. He laid his head back against his friend. "Oh yeah, ya missed all the action. A purple dinosaur, a rhino with a turquoise sparkling horn, and a couple of pigs in pink and purple tutus were floatin' around." A series of burps escaped.
Hutch waved the sickening smell away, then patted his friend's arm gently. He turned his head briefly to avoid the toxic fumes. "What, no talking cows or pink elephants?" He chuckled. "We got a problem, Buddy." He paused and glanced at his partner. "Chad and his frat buddies ticked off Denosia. One of the kids is his nephew. He took the stash."
Starsky took a deep breath. The color improved on his face as he scratched his head. "So Denosia wants his merchandise. That's just terrific." His voice was scratchy. He cleared his throat.
A knock on the door startled both men. Hutch quickly rose to his feet and assisted his partner. They both exited the bathroom. Hutch opened the door cautiously. In the doorway stood Chen, Todd, and Lin Sue. The tall blond backed away, opened the door, and allowed them into the room.
Todd fidgeted and sat on the twin bed near the door. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." He looked at them, taking in their reaction. "My uncle's bodyguards were following me. I lost them on the college campus and came here. I need to get the stash back by noon tomorrow. I know you know what my uncle does for a living. Chen and his grandmother are in danger." The young man trembled.
Hutch briefly glanced at his now-sober partner. "Where's the stash?"
The elderly woman smiled faintly. "I put what the boy called stash behind Mr. Huggy's bar. I go and get." She headed for the door without waiting for a response.
Starsky watched her leave, then gazed briefly at everyone in the room. "You don't seriously think we are just going to hand it over to your uncle, do you, Todd?" He buttoned his pale blue long-sleeve shirt.
A scream startled everyone. Starsky grabbed his gun from the bureau along with Hutch. They headed out the door with the boys trailing. At the bottom of the stairs sat Huggy, gagged, and bound. On the floor near the bar was Lin Sue. Starsky stopped at the base of the stairs and looked at Huggy, who acknowledged that the coast was clear.
Chen went to his grandmother's side. Todd raced past everyone and headed out the door. Hutch went to Huggy and removed the gag. Starsky bolted and ran after Todd.
Huggy coughed, "Those two gorillas took the stash. They roughed up Lin Sue a little." He looked toward Chen, who was assisting his grandmother to her feet.
Starsky came back in and slammed the door behind him. "He's long gone. Black limo with a couple of goons picked him up." He took a deep breath, then coughed.
The tall blond went to Lin Sue's side and pushed the few strands of gray hair back away from her face. "Are you okay?" His voice was soft and compassionate.
The elderly woman smiled and winked. "I am fine, Mr. Hutch. I am a tough woman."
Chapter 10
Huggy placed two plates on the counter of the bar. Hutch entered from the back of the building. Chen sat on one of the bar stools. He appeared anxious as he looked at the front door opening several times. Lin Sue was carrying a tray of fresh brownies and placing them next to the other two batches. Her smile sparkled when she greeted Hutch. "Mr. Hutch, this is so exciting. I don't want to make Mr. Starsky mad." She sprinkled some greenish seasonings next to the tray as she giggled.
Hutch's smile was contagious as he approached the elderly Asian woman. "Starsky has no clue. Believe me, after what he put me through on your last batch." His eyes averted to meet Huggy. The smile was short-lived when he looked at Chen. He cleared his throat. "I really hope you learned your lesson, Chen. Starsky could have lost his job, or worse. The weed could have been laced. Not to mention those kids you were going to sell them to."
Chen bowed his head. Shame was apparent in his features. "I'm sorry, Hutch. I really am sorry."
Hutch pressed his lips together tightly. "Yeah, I know you are. Have you seen your friend, Todd?" His voice softened as he placed his hands in his pants pocket. "You've got a second chance; don't blow it, kid."
Chen sighed heavily. "He hasn't contacted me. Rumor has it, his uncle sent him away to school out of the United States."
Huggy grabbed a brownie. "I think he's here, Hutch."
Everyone took a brownie, started eating, and resumed their conversations. Starsky strolled in with a wide smile and a vibrant strut. "What's with the door, Hug? I about threw my shoulder out, opening it." He stopped mid-stride. His eyes widened. "Are those brownies?" His face drew into a pale shade of green.
Hutch chewed slowly and appeared extremely relaxed as he nodded. Lin Sue bit into a brownie and swayed from side to side as though floating. Huggy smiled between his large bites. Chen crammed the remains of his into his mouth and stood to access another as he swaggered and giggled.
The concern and fear on the brunet's face grew. He made his way over and looked at the mound of chocolate delicacies. The blue pools of anxiety noted the brownish-green material scattered on the dish. Quickly and urgently, he went to his partner. "What are you doing?" His voice squeaked.
Hutch slung an arm over his partner's shoulder and eased in to give him a partial hug. "Starsk, these... these fudgy little chocolates, really bad for me brownies are so good, Buddy. You gotta have one, Gordo." The words were slurred, and his eyes blinked rapidly. Lethargically, the tall detective glared into his partner's eyes and began to sing. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when the skies are grey." His eyes were firmly fixed.
Starsky forced a grin. He stepped away, watching the strange, uncharacteristic behaviors. "Listen, I don't know how... but, but those brownies are laced." He tried to make eye contact with each person. His hand slowly went to his stomach.
Lin Sue danced her way over and casually touched Starsky's shocked face. "Evidence, no waste, baby." Her expression was convincing, and her moves were methodical. "If I were younger, I would make you mine, Sunshine." She winked.
Starsky swallowed heavily. He formed a fake, partial smile. "We need to get rid of this stuff."
Huggy danced behind the bar. "Chill, my brotha, chill. Ride the ride, baby." The lanky man moved casually and smoothly.
Starsky moved past his partner and grabbed the tray. A hand on his shoulder stopped him. Hutch patted him gently and smiled. "Got you, Gordo!"
Everyone laughed as Starsky dropped the metal tin onto the counter. The tightness in his jaw showed embarrassment. He formed a half-smile and nonchalantly chuckled. "Ya got me, funny… very funny." His voice was playful. His reaction didn't match the voice when he reached over and grabbed a handful of brownies and smashed them into his partner's face. He quickly pulled the front of the blond's shirt open and dumped the remains. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine... Got ya, pal?"
Although startled, each one began to laugh. Starsky smiled widely as Hutch tended to the crumbled mess on his face and his chest.
The End.