I'm still alive! A very long time since I have posted anything, but I've missed writing so here we go. This will be a longer story and it will include lemons in later chapters, I will change the rating to M at that point.

I hope you all enjoy and please review and let me know what you think!

The Return

"I just need a break Liss" I said slowly, my voice muffled as I held my head in my hands. Slowly, I ran my hands through my short hair and took a deep breath. My voice was soft, gentle and breathy as I spoke. "I just need a break, some time away from everything. I haven't had a day off in 2 years Lissa."

"And whose fault is that?" She said softly. Her voice was gentle, as if she was calming a wild animal.

I'd thrown myself into my career and given it everything I had, since Lissa had become queen. I felt a burning need to prove myself after everything that had happed during my senior year and the following months. I'd sacrificed a lot to achieve what I had dreamed of when I was at school.

I had done it, and more. I was made part of the royal guard as soon as Lissa became queen and within 3 years I was in charge of it. I had been the youngest director of the royal guard ever by 15 years and the first female, but that wasn't enough for me. My drive pushed my ambitions further and I created my own section of guardians and Moroi that sought Strigoi out. We were revolutionary and dangerous, and highly successful. After a few years, I passed on the organisation to a friend of mine so that I could take on a leadership role within the guardian headquarters. Again, I worked my way up the ranks and was in charge after 4 years.

And that was where it had started to go wrong.

My whole adult life, I had focused purely on my ambition and proving myself. I had realised a few years ago that I hated being in charge and stuck in an office but my pride and ambition kept me from accepting this. I pushed my feelings away and worked harder than ever, doing 60 hours a week.

And now I was having a breakdown.

Nothing had happened today, it was just an ordinary day in the office. I had been sat, reading through a proposal for an extra guardian at the academy, when I saw the weekly guardian competition taking place from my window. It was a scheme I had introduced a few years ago to add excitement and motivation for guardians to improve their skills. I watched for a few minutes, put down my pen, and walked out my office.

And that was how I had ended up at Lissa's house.

"I need a year," I breathed, grappling at the emotions and thoughts rushing through my mind as I tried desperately to control them.

"Rose," Lissa whispered, "I'd retire you now on full pay if it was what you wanted. You can have as much time as you need. We'll be just fine."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I didn't want to take a break, but it was what I needed. I had to do it.

"I've got a plan," I said, meeting her jade green eyes with my soft brown ones.

A few days later, I was packing my bags. It was harder than I thought it would have been. 10 years ago, it would have been perfectly easy to pack a bag that had to last me a year, but when I had settled at court I had developed a shopping habit. I had never been able to wear fancy clothes when I was on duty or at the academy, but when I was just sat at a desk I could wear whatever I liked. I'd been able to style my hair and wear makeup and paint my nails and to hide my depression, I had done it all. I ran a brush through my hair as I put it into my bag, watching myself in the mirror. I looked so different to the Rose from 15 years ago. My hair was short and perfectly straight, falling just below my ears and had golden highlights running through it. My face was moisturised and clean and I wore simple, yet elegant makeup.

Would he even recognise me.

Shaking my head, I decided I would just take my workout gear, a few pairs of jeans and some t-shirts and jumpers. I carefully folded and packed it all, adding toiletries, makeup and my hair straightener. I looked back at the pile of clothes I had knocked onto the floor. Rolling my eyes, and muttering to myself, I allowed myself to choose one skirt, top and dress and put them in the bag that was beginning to bulge.

I grabbed my favourite pair of old, red sneakers and pulled them on, before swinging my bag over my shoulder. I carefully locked my door behind me and set off, thoughts rushing through my head of my destination, of the people I was leaving behind.

I had said goodbye to Lissa and her family yesterday. I had gone for a family dinner with her, Christian and their 4 children. I smiled to myself as I remembered it and put my hand in my pocket. Inside, was a collection of photographs and drawings the children had created for me to take with strict instructions that I had to put them up as soon as I arrived.

Forcing my feet onwards, I headed towards the airport where my plane was waiting.

I gave the moroi air hostess a small nod as I walked up the steps and boarded my plane. I was the only person on the small jet and a settled into my luxurious seat with a sigh. I still wasn't sure if this was the right decision, if it was what I needed, but I had lost touch with myself and I needed to find a way to get the old Rose back.

My flight was short and comfortable and I had only read a few chapters of my book before the flight attendant came to tell me that we would be landing soon. I packed my things away and turned to look out of the window.

Now that we were defending from the clouds, I could start to see the countryside appearing. I could see thick forests of evergreen trees and mountains surrounding them like tall guardians. There was a small road winding through that I stared at.

I remembered when I had walked that road.

Before long, I could see tall, gothic buildings that had turrets on as if they belonged in a castle. I could see paths and statues and hedges…and then we landed.

I closed by eyes and took a deep, steadying breath before I stood up and walked towards the door, nodding my thanks as I passed he flight attendant.

Standing below the door, smiling at me, was Alberta.

Her short hair was now grey and I could see lines around her eyes as she smiled. I knew from my position as Captain of Guardians that they had tried to remove Alberta from her post 5 years ago but that she had kicked up enough fuss that they had eventually given up. She was only on desk and teaching duties now, but I wondered if she would ever retire.

"We had a job keeping you at school when you legally had to be, I never thought you would return voluntarily when you didn't have to," she said wryly, a small smile on her face.

I smiled back. "I never thought I would either," I said, the smile not quite reaching my eyes.

We walked from the runway to the guardian buildings in comfortable silence and I looked at everything as we went. I spotted the benches I had hurt my ankle on, the moroi dorms that Lissa had lived in, my old dorms, the church and more. I drank it in, remembering how young I had been. A lot had happened to me back then, a lot of things that I found hard to deal with, but I wished that I was still 17 and had my whole life ahead of me. The uncertainty and excitement and zeal for life.

We walked through the doors of the guardian building and into Alberta's office. She sat at her desk and gestured for me to do the same.

"Ok," she began, sitting back in her chair. "I'm going to do this as if I don't know you or anything about your past and stick to protocol since as technically, you are my boss".

I nodded.

"Here is your contract and timetable to start with. You will notice that you are just patrolling dorms and supporting in some classes with the younger children to start with. We do that to make sure that everyone is comfortable before you progress to harder things. It's to keep us, you and the children safe".

I nodded again.

"Your contract is 6 months long to start with, you can always extend if you would like but I imagine you will be heading back to court. Your first month is probationary, again to make sure that you are a good fit for us and that we are a good fit with you. There is also a fitness and skills test in your first week which I am sure will be no issue for you".

I smiled. I had obviously never been part of the recruitment process at the academy, other than accepting their proposals for new staff, but it was clear that Alberta had created an iron clad system that made sure any new guardian was a good fit.

She placed the paperwork in front of me with a pen and I signed where I needed to.

"Formalities over," she smiled, then leant forward and rested her hands on her desk.

"Now tell me the real reason you are here".

Her directness took me by surprise and I felt like I was 17 again, my mouth gaping and eyes wide. I quickly recovered myself and decided how best to answer her. Was I honest, or should I try and evade the question as I used to.

I eventually decided to just answer her honestly. I could trust Alberta, she had always been kind and looked after me and I considered her a friend.

"I'm burnt out," I sighed. "I haven't had a day off in 2 years, and I know that should be expected in our career, but I have nothing else in my life to keep me going. I don't have time to go out with friends or see Lissa as much as I would like to, I don't even have time to train as I used to".

Alberta kept any reaction off her face and just sat and listened to me explain why I needed a break.

"And so," I finished, "When I saw your application for a new guardian post I decided it was just the break I needed. I need to find myself again, I need to live my life again".

After a few moments, Alberta reached her hand and gently clasped mine. "You're young still," she said gently. "You've achieved a great deal, more than anyone before, but you need to choose what is most important to you".

She stood up, clearly not going to give me any more insight into what she thought I should do.

"Let me show you to your room".

I had never been in this part of the guardian building and Alberta showed me where everything was, the laundry room, tv room, kitchen ect. and then we headed up the stairs to the rooms. Once we got to the hallway my eyes widened as I recognised where I was.

I had been here before.

I had been here in very different circumstances.

Alberta's face turned red and she actually stammered a little as she began to speak.

"I…I'm sorry but I have had to put you in this room. The other rooms we have available are all in use and many of our rooms are no longer usable because they need refurbishment…"

Her voice trailed off and I realised why she was apologising. I realised which room mine was next to.

I slammed my guardian mask onto my face before I showed any of the dramatic tidal wave of emotions that were pulsing through my body.

"Perfectly fine, thank you," I said, my voice curt and clipped.

My world faded away as I stared at that door, where 17 year old Rose had stood the night of Victor Dashkov's attack.

I was suddenly brought back to consciousness by a small click.

I whirled around, my reactions hightened from stress, but realised that the click did not come from Alberta.

She was gone.

It came from the door in front of me.

I hope you all enjoyed! I always find the first chapter so steady to write, theres a lot of scene setting that needs to be done!

I wonder if you can guess who is behind that door ;)

See you next time for chapter 2!