How we met

by OnestarMaddy

A young adult woman suffering from social anxiety tries to get out. Through that she discovers a woman she grows to greatly respect, hoping for a strong friendship, she finds this new found friend wants more than that. A journey of flirting, silly horny encounters and self loathing, as she tries to sort through her personal issues with the aid of new friends and loved ones.

How we met.

Part One - A new friend

Prelude

Uh… Hi.

Hm.. Introductions first, right? I'm Maddy Zakugen. I'm 26 years old, at least, in the story you're about to read. I'm uhm.. An Au'ra, uh Xealian if you care about that kinda thing, i guess.

I'm from Ul'dah originally, but I live in Ishgard now. I really prefer the cold here.

I uh.. Like running, I try to do it at least once a day but that doesn't often happen. My favourite colour is turquoise and my favourite food is Pancakes.

None of that really matters does it..? Hmm..

I'm writing this because a friend of mine told me it might help with my issues if i got everything out, i thought it was kinda stupid at first, what good could talking out loud about this stuff do? But uh, turns out it's been working pretty well.

I suffer pretty badly with anxiety.. There's a lot out there to be afraid of, which doesn't even include the thousands of monsters that roam outside major settlements.

I mean sure.. Adventurers and heroes are dealing with them pretty constantly, but only 3 months ago a rogue Chimera attacked a little girl nearby where I live. Thankfully she was okay but.. Um.. I'm rambling, huh? Anyway.. Some of this stuff is going to be pretty sad, some of it is going to be really happy, I've had quite a few major ups and downs the last 5 or so years.. Y.. You'll see.

Okay well, I might chime in with some like.. Interlude stuff to help explain things better but.. It all started at-

Chapter One - The Party

I'm not normally the type for parties.. But my best friend, Frayja, made the effort to invite me to one. I'd been telling myself to take a chance, as much as my entire body was telling me not to go, I forced myself out the door anyway. I even got a nice dress, it'd be a waste not to.. Right?

The trip over was nothing but heart palpitations.
"What if I can't find her? What if I don't fit in? Is my dress weird?"

It kept riding up in all the worst places, I'm not really like.. Worried about showing my body off or anything, but.. The dress would often ride up along my butt, it pretty much necessitated skimpy panties otherwise you'd be able to see the strap, y'know? So if it rode up, my butt would be totally exposed.. And I'm not about that.

I could already hear the music 4 or 5 houses away . It's some techno thumping, not my style at all. There were a lot of people around even this far from the home. They were all dressed so.. What's a nice word to use? Freely?

The house is huge. I'd seen it plenty of times as I live somewhat close, it's one of the very few reasons I used to convince myself to go. As I stood stunned at the entrance to its garden, there were people everywhere. Talking, dancing, making out.. Some guy had his hand up a woman's shirt, she uh, seemed to be enjoying it.

Frayja spots me standing there like a goof, and pulls me in, a warm hug snaps me out of all the crap my brain has been feeding me.

"I'm so glad you came! You look amazing!" She drags me by my hand into the house. She's here with a bunch of her other friends, people she's met at parties just like this one I assume. She starts introducing me to way too many people, it's all going right over my head, I couldn't tell you any of their names.

The next hour felt like ten, I'd been throwing back drinks as fast as I could to try and open up a little with people. I felt completely overloaded. I needed a moment of peace, an escape.

Out of the corner of my eye I spotted a buff looking blonde Miqo'te woman, she was staring at me. I don't know why she stood out to me so much, her eyes? She was looking at me so intently. Then the panic set in, had my dress ridden up weird again? As I checked my butt for a potential escape mission, I lost sight of her, she disappeared back into the crowd.
"She was kinda pretty.." I thought to myself.

I found a spot between two couples, too busy eating each other's faces to notice me, and enough room to sit comfortably.. Ish.
I didn't know what else to do so i just got my phone out, blank thoughtless scrolling is frequently distracted by sweaty shoulders and misplaced hands.
"I knew i shouldn't have come.." I whispered, not that it mattered what volume I used, the music was over powering everything anyway.

Another nudge, pointed this time, like someone dug a nail into me, my anger was beginning to bubble over. As I turned to say something, that Miqo was right next to me, she bent forward and put her face close to mine.. Too close. I could feel a breeze of cool air come from her.
Before I knew it, she'd lent right in, her cheek against mine. I knew Miqo are soft but.. I didn't expect it to feel almost like fur. My nose filled with the scent of her perfume.. Vanilla?

I could feel her lips on my scales as she spoke.
"You look lost, want some help?"

I barely had time to react before I felt her hand on mine, a soft but commanding squeeze pulled me off the couch as she dragged me behind her. Her outfit was incredible, it was similarly free like everyone else here but it just looked better on her, this dominating presence she gave off locked my eyes to the small of her back, watching her sway as she led me. Every step we took more of her scent glided into my nose, before I knew it, we were outside.

She guided me to the side of the house, the music was quieter here. She sat down on a bench and patted the spot beside her while pulling out a pack of smokes.

I adjusted my dress for what felt like the 10th time that night and took a seat.

She gestures the cigarette toward me.
"Want one?"

"Oh uhm, no thank you." I paused for a moment to let her light her own.

"So.. Uh. What's your name?" I asked, barely above a whisper. I stared at her and she stared right back, a soft smile breached her lips, she blew out a cloud of smoke to her side before she replied.
"Lilith."

Her voice was sultry and kind, the expression on her face broke down all my walls of defence. My anxiety had dissipated, I hadn't even noticed. She was like those adventurer heroes I'd read about. I don't know why, perhaps I still don't, but I knew I was going to be okay if I was with her.

"What brings a cute little thing like you to a place like this?"
I immediately knew I wasn't fit for a party, certainly not one like this. If she had to ask something like that, if I looked out of place to her.. My face must have turned sour, I could see the growing concern on hers.
"Oh honey.. What's wrong?" Lilith placed a warm hand on my shoulder and I just.. Broke.

I slumped down into my hands and let out wail, not the cute kind either, that's for sure.

"I-didn't-even-want-to-come-my-friend-asked-me-and-i-didn't-want-to-let-her-down-and-now-i-can't-find-her-and-i'm-freaking-out-there's-just-way-too-many-people." I mumbled out a string of nonsense trying to explain.

She began to stroke my hair, lightly running her claws along my scalp. It was so calming.. Opening my eyes, tears welling up, I looked up at her and she must have sensed what I wanted. She brought me into her arms and hugged me tightly. All of her fragrance hit me at once, the soft skin of her chest. Her hands were so warm but the rest of her felt cold, it was incredibly refreshing. I pressed my cheek into her, it felt like opening a fridge on a hot day, the cool air brushing over me.

Without letting go, I introduced myself.
"I'm.. Uhm, Maddy.. By the way"

She grasped my shoulders and nudged me away, taking an extended look over me.
A delicate hand reaches to my cheek and flicks a tear away.
"Seems like it isn't your night, hm? Would you like to go? I can walk with you back to your home."

I just nod.

Any other person would sense an ulterior motive here I bet. The world is a dangerous place and people can be.. Very bad. Especially with naive idiots like me. But I just didn't get that feeling from her at all, no one could look at me with such kindness and have dirty wants.. Right?

Chapter Two - The walk home

I feel like a child. My mum escorting me home. Lilith is walking right beside me. I can feel her gaze every so often, but I just can't bring myself to look up at her, I'm terrified that she's somehow annoyed or disappointed.
We haven't been walking very long before she says something.

"Do you live in the district? Hopefully you won't be able to hear the music still if you do."

"Uh, yeah.. It's not too much further. That one, around the corner." I point at my lonely home, my neighbour moved out a few months back and my friends barely come by anymore. It's my only point of safety but it feels like a prison.

"Aw, it's rather quaint" Lilith remarks. "Have you been there long?"

"Y..Yeah, about 4 years now. It's not much.. I know." I don't know why i started to dump my issues onto her, i couldn't help it, even though i knew she more than likely didn't want to hear it, i just kept going anyway.

"I don't really like my home. I barely have any friends and the ones I do live such different lives now, we used to be so close during University. They would come over really often and it made my house feel so alive and loved, I got lucky on the lottery so.. I could afford one. Now it feels like they were just using me because I had a private space like that. They would eat all my food and wear shoes on my couch.."

I could feel the tears welling up again.
"I'm sorry!" I exclaim, coming to a stop. "You.. You don't need to hear all that, we just met and.."

She places a hand onto my cheek, it's still so warm. I nuzzle into it for a brief moment before stopping myself and stepping back.

"You've had a rough night, huh? Seems like you've had a lot to drink as well. Let's get you tucked into bed, nice and warm and safe. If you want, we can chat for a while?"

I still couldn't look at her, I could hear the smile in her words but couldn't escape my own image of her expression.

"That'd be really nice." I whimpered.

I led her to my door, leading this caring woman into my personal cage.

I dropped my keys and phone on the couch before noticing the open bottle of wine on my coffee table.

With speed I attempted to reach towards it, embarrassed I'd look like an alcoholic or something, but the booze had begun to take its hold. My feet didn't do as they were told, I smashed my foot into the side of the couch and everything turned upside down.

"Watch out!" Lilith grabbed my hand but we both stumbled.

I shut my eyes, in the moment I thought I'd crack my head on the table or something but.. My landing was softer than expected.

"Thank the Twelve." Lilith lets out with a puff

She had caught me, spun me around in the air somehow and was now underneath me.

It took a moment for me to assess everything. She had her leg bent up between mine, my dress had completely ridden up, my panties on full display and my crotch pressed against her thigh. I could feel something soft in my hand, as I tried to push myself up, Lilith let out a moan.
"Oh, very forward of you."

My right hand was firmly gripping her boob, she wasn't wearing a bra? I guess the dress called for it? I had noticed before how large they were, they were very on display, it was hard not to. But now that it was in my hand? These were the kinda boobs you could hide all sorts of stuff between.

"Oh shit I'm so sorry!" I quickly shifted my hand off her onto the floor. Moving weight back onto my own feet I felt a strong twinge of pain run through my ankle. My body just gave up, wrist slipped, legs buckled. My crotch slid its way back down her leg, a shock of unexpected pleasure rippled up my spine.
My face planted between her squished mountains.
"Mhhff.." I managed to let out a groan of pain between the echoing valley of her chest.
"I'm so sorry!" I repeated. Pushing myself up a little. "I'll get off you, I'm sorry."
I found my balance and finally got myself off her, lifting my leg over her bent knee. It's as if she kept it raised so I would have to part my legs more to get away.
I knelt beside her with a sigh, she was giggling at me..
"You might just be the cutest Au'ra i've ever met." She let out between chuckles.

"I'm.. Not cute" I pouted. "I hurt you, I'm really sorry!" As I raised my voice in concern she picked herself up and sat in front of me, placing a hand onto my knee.

"I'm fine. But you're not, show me your foot."

As I adjusted myself my skirt continued its upward rise, I was too lost in my concerns to notice at the time.

I brought my foot around to her, she gently revolved it in her hand. Delicate movements out of genuine concern for my condition.
"It's not swollen, I don't think you've broken anything." Lilith remarked. "Here.. Let me-" She uttered a nonsense phrase, her eyes closed. The palm of her hand began to feel moist, as she gently rubbed something onto my skin.

"Better?" She asks, returning her worried face back to my equally confused one, staring at the slight glisten on my ankle.
"Y..Yes? What did you do?"
"Oh just a little spell, nothing major"

Magic was getting pretty common these days, I didn't think much of her doing that at the time.

"I'm such an idiot.. Let me make you a cup of tea, or something." Stumbling over my words I finally met eyes with her. She's looking at me like a teacher to a student. Maybe it was the lighting, maybe just the situation. I felt my heart skip one too many beats, my cheeks flush. I had to look away.
I grunted my way through standing and hobbled over to the kettle. The pain had pretty much completely gone, there was a slight click as I put weight onto it again.
"Do you want milk, sugar?" I take a glance back at her, she shoots her attention from my very exposed rear up to meet mine.

"Yes, just the one sugar." She smirked at me, she knew something I didn't, and was very much enjoying it.

As I stood there swaying side to side, moving the weight from one foot to the other. My addled mind had already moved on from the silly situation we'd just found ourselves in.

The confidence that being drunk gives, had finally kicked in, much too late to have been useful, or so I thought.

I had a dumb smile on my face as I brought both mugs over to her, it felt so nice to have someone over again. She'd taken a seat on the couch, silently watching me. As I went to place the mugs down, she reached toward my waist and gently pulled my dress down.

"I would have said something but.. I was rather enjoying the show. You wiggle your ass while you're concentrating, did you know that?"

My face immediately flushed red.
"How.. How long was i.. " I stammered out, covering my face with my hands and slumping onto the couch.
"I expected something a little more subtle." Lilith giggled. "They suit you though." That sultry tone again.

"I've.. Been single a while, I don't know why I bought them, I don't know why I put them on tonight!" I exclaimed. "Do they.. Really suit me?" Her compliments didn't ring hollow like most do to me, men often told me i was cute or sexy but, i'd never believed them. I always just thought they said those things to get into my pants or something.

Her laughing continued, it was soft, even though it was pointed at me, i didn't mind, i let out a small chuckle of my own.

"Yes, they really do. So, you don't have any others like that?"

"Ahh.. Uhm, I mean, a couple. Heh.." I unbury my face and glance at her only to look back down. "I saw this really silly pair with the crotch removed, i bought them as a joke, i can't help but laugh when i see them in my drawer".

"Ohhh" She gasped. "Maybe you're not such a lost innocent girl after all."

"Maybe.." I snicker. "But.. No boyfriend to show them too, so, guess they'll sit in my drawer forever." I smiled at her weakly.

"Are boyfriends the only option?" Lilith meets my gaze with a smug expression. "Shame.."

"Oh well.. Uhm, I.. Haven't really.. Thought about that" My cheeks return their rose. What did she mean by that? Do I like girls? Wait.. Do i? No.. No?... No.

She teased me over and over that night, I can barely remember any of it, just that smug grin of hers. Why am I enjoying it? Am I that desperate for a friend? I do remember really enjoying our talk though. She's so confident, she can just say what she wants, how she feels. We must have talked for hours that night. I can't remember falling asleep, but I woke up in my bed.

My morning went the same it normally does but I just couldn't stop smiling. When I finally sat down at my desk to enjoy my coffee I found a note she'd left.

"Hey sleepy head,

Apologies for leaving that way, I do have business to attend to.

It was fun spending time with you, if you ever wanna hang out or... Get to know each other some more, here's my number.

I'll be waiting~

- Lilith"

Chapter Three - The text

I sit there, staring at the note.
"Her.. Number? Does this mean we're.. Like, friends now? She's waiting!?"

My thoughts begin to swirl, does this mean she liked me? I wasn't some cringe drunk idiot? No.. I definitely was, but she wants to be friends anyway? How did I end up in my bed? Was I wearing my pyjamas when I got up or did I put those on myself this morning?

I grabbed my phone, opened up the contacts and added her number right away.
"Lilith" it said. Just a simple little name, nothing more but it carried so much weight for some reason. When I looked at the name I could see her, that damn smile masterfully carved across her face, like it was designed by some great artist on a marble statue. She was as clear to me right then as if she was standing right in front of me.

My heart was already racing, but as she stood there in my mind I could feel my stomach begin to twist, my chest felt tight. Images began to flicker; friends sitting at a cafe together laughing, walking along the sand smiling at one another, sitting side by side at my home wine in hand.

I was imagining our friendship like a teenager imagines her marriage.

My thumb was shaking as I brought up our empty chat window.

"This is the start of your conversation" it said at the top. "And my new friendship" I hummed to myself.

"What should I write? Just like.. Hi or something?.. No, that's too simple. I should say thank you atleast right? Maybe something cute?.. She called me cute"

The memory sparks, I feel my cheeks flush again.

"If it's coming from her.. I almost believe it."

As I began to write and delete attempted messages over and over, I spent the better part of an hour gruelling over it. Finally settled on something…

"Hello! It's Maddy. Thank you so much for taking me home last night, I'm sorry it was such a chore. I drank way too much and it all hit me when we got to my home.

I can't remember all too much of what happened after we fell.. Sorry about that again.. You weren't hurt at all were you? I have some bandaids here I could give you?

I'd really like to hang out more! I don't get out much though.. Do you know any good spots?

Getting closer sounds really fun! We've only just met and I feel like we've been friends for years.. Is that weird?

Maddy (but uh.. You already knew that, heh..)"

It was cringe, and awkward and stupid but.. It was the best thing I could think of.

My thumb wobbled over the send button.. "Come on.. Just send it, it's going to be fine! Right?"

My hesitation only got worse. I shut my eyes, slowly inching my thumb closer. I figured if i didn't know when i'd reach the screen i couldn't stop myself from clicking it.

I heard the chime, my eyes shot back open… I'd sent it, it's was done!

The two little ticks had appeared, it was officially sent, nothing I could do now.

"Wait, doesn't it being green mean she's already read it?"

My heart began to pound.
"Wait, wait, wait. She's already reading it? Was she waiting on our conversation page? No.. That's dumb, why would she be doing that? She said had business, she's obviously a busy person, I mean.. Just look at her, she's probably got hundreds of friends."
The little popup for when a text is being written comes up.
"SHE'S ALREADY REPLYING!?" I screamed.

"I'm not ready! I need more time!"

I drop my phone face down onto my bed and start pacing back and forth. It's not long before the inevitable happens. That chime, her reply.

I stood there frozen, looking down at my bed, the phone, innocent of my concerns, stared back at me. It was taunting me, it knew damn well I'd pick it up, and it was smug about it.

"It's just a text.. It's just a text "I began to repeat, like a mantra.

"Just.. Pick up the phone" My hand outstretched but my body refused to move forwards.

"Just.. A little.. Closer.." My fingers wrapped around the case as I lifted it free from the momentary jail I'd thrown it in.

My eyes barely opened as I glanced at her reply.

"Hey Maddy! I am glad to see that you are doing okay now. I appreciate your concern and kindness but I can promise you I am not hurt in any way, but that is absolutely adorable of you to worry in such a way. Regarding the topic of going out… I know a few places depending on what you've got in mind and what fancies you."

I felt stupid and elated at the same time. What was I even worried about? Of course she'd reply like a totally normal person.

She called me adorable this time.. Why does her affection make my heart race like this? My other friends would say nice stuff and it didn't make me feel anything.

Another message chimes through.

"Do you like Sushi, maybe Tacos?"

"Yes! I like both!"

"Great. There's a Sushi place pretty close to mine, here's the address…" she chimes back. "It should be pretty quiet there tomorrow, around 7?"

Oh god.. Tomorrow? That's so soon. I looked up the address on my phone and checked the place out, it wasn't like.. Fancy looking or anything, it looked pretty nice actually. She said it'd be quiet too, that's good. What if it's just us though? What are we going to talk about..

I began to frantically search through my wardrobe for something to wear, I probably spent the rest of the day putting something together. I even found my old perfume I used to really like. Smells like sweet oranges.

Sleep was hard that night, I couldn't stop thinking about what was going to happen, running scenarios through my mind over and over.

Chapter Four - What are you doing here!?

I was checking out my clothes in the mirror for the 5th time that day. I still didn't feel like it was the right look.. Was I trying to imitate her? Is she going to notice that?

We're meeting up in about an hour as I leave the house. Shirogane is pretty much on the other side of the world.. I'd never been there before, thankfully teleports have been getting cheaper recently. Something about a war coming to an end.

I couldn't stop myself grinning ear to ear while I walked to the aetheryte. They were these giant crystal structures they linked to themselves or.. Something, I'm not sure on how they worked, but it was instant travel to the one you wanted. I don't think it actually costs the people that run them any extra to send you longer distances, but they charge you more anyway.
"I hope she's wearing that perfume again" I thought.

With a flash, the aetheryte sent me to the centre of a strange city.
"She said it's.." I was lost looking at my phone when I heard my name shouted, it made me jump.

"Maddy! What are you doing here!?"

My face was agasp.. It was my ex boyfriend.. Takahito.

"Hey! It's been way too long! How have you been? What are you wearing? You on a date or something?"

I was stunned. In complete shutdown mode. I could just make out a group of his friends a way behind him. The last time we saw each other was…

"Make up your damn mind Maddy!" He screamed at me. I was crying.. A lot. He was mad because I was hesitating about where we'd go for a date.. Again.

"The Twelve be damned!" He picked up the wine glass from my coffee table and threw it at the door.

"I can't take this shit anymore. You're fucking useless, you know that? It's not a hard fucking choice, Limsan or Ul'dan food! It's a fucking 50/50 choice for crying out loud!"

I was stuck staring at the ground, my knees were pressed so hard together I felt like they'd break. Tears fell from my face so much my legs were drenched.

I heard the door slam, shortly joined by a smash of glass. It was over for sure this time. He'd always come back 5 or so minutes after he did this, but.. Not this time.

I couldn't walk.. I had to crawl over to the smashed glass by the front door. It was my last picture of my mum. It'd torn down the middle.. I guess the glass cut it. I hugged it tightly, a prick on my chest from the glass piercing me.. I still have that scar.

"You okay?" He was crouching down. Most Au'ra men are pretty tall but Takahito was exceptionally so. He was always having to crouch for me.

"Y…Yeah, I'm pline.. F..Fine"

"Still got that stutter huh? Hahahah" He burst out laughing at me.

I couldn't move.. I couldn't escape

"Well, whatever. Whatever guy you've tricked into a date will probably find it funny too." He put his hand on my shoulder. It was heavy. He squeezed kinda hard and pushed a thumb into my cheek, I couldn't help but look up.

He didn't say anything.. Just looked into my eyes. He used to do this a lot. He knew didn't like it. It was some kind of contest for him. He'd say he was trying to get me used to it or something.

I did my best to keep my stare, but the ache in my chest was becoming too painful. I broke our gaze.

"Pah! Still can't do it. See you round Maddy."

I didn't look up as he left, I must have waited 5 minutes there, standing still like some scared child.

There was a sudden pang near me, someone arriving through the aetheryte.

Chapter Five - The "Date"

"Oh.. Hey you."

It was a familiar voice, my heart immediately restarted. I gazed up, tears staining my cheeks, I let out a sharp sniff.

"Oh god.. What happened!?" It was Lilith. She was right there. Like an angel.

Before I could even say something, not that it would have come out anyway, she'd embraced me, holding my head into her chest.

I wrapped my arms around the small of her back and let out the wails my heart was aching for.

Her hand found my head. It's almost as if she clipped her claws for just this situation. I'll never forget that feeling.

"What on Hydaelyn happened?" She questioned.
I squeezed her tightly, as tight as I could.

"It.. It.. It.. It.. "
"Hey, hey.." She soothed. "It's okay, I'm here, it's all okay."

"It's… F.. Fine. I'm fine." I let her go, she let me move away. I wiped my face with my sweater, a wet stain streaked along it. I took a deep breath and pulled my best fake smile for her.
"L.. Let's go, I'm hungry."

I couldn't bring myself to look at her after I said that. If she'd have looked sad I was just going to cry again.

Maybe I was just determined to stop showing how feeble I am to her, even though my chest was still pounding, I took wide steps ahead of Lilith. If I could convince her I was okay, maybe it'd work on me?

"Down here right?" I pointed down an alley. "There's uhm.. A lot of people"

"Hmm… So there is."

"You said it was going to be.. Quiet.." I was losing my confidence. Finally our gaze met again, she was looking down at me, she did look sad.. I knew she would.
"It's fine!" She remarked loudly. "I know a spot.. I think it'll really help."

"Help with.. What?"
"Just come!" She took my hand, and suddenly there was a burst of light. I screamed.. I was still screaming when the light dissipated.

Just like that, we were outside an apartment building.

"What.. Where.. How?" She'd teleported us. I thought only the really strong adventurers could do that.. I thought they could only teleport themselves?

I stared up at her in complete amazement, she just grinned at me. Was she showing off?
"Come, it's pretty close to here." She pulled a little whistle from her pocket and summoned a giant Chocobo out of thin air. She petted it lightly and jumped atop it. I was still just staring, who is this woman?

"C'mon.." She said to me, like I could just climb up there, like it was nothing. The Chocobo was twice my damn height! I could barely even reach the stirrup with my hands.

"Down boy." She whispered.

I did my best to try and climb on, jumping up and trying to grab anything I could. As I began to fall back down, I felt a strong grasp on my butt.
"Ahh!" A gasp escaped me, I wasn't ready for anything like that.

She pushed me up onto the giant bird with very little effort.

I found my placement, my legs on either side of the staddle. I'd never been on a Chocobo before, let alone one so giant.

As it raised back up I threw my arms around Lilith's waist, she didn't give me any chance to refind my balance before the mount was charging forwards.

"Ahhh~~" I yelled. "It's.. Very.. Bumpy" I uttered between shocks to my pelvis.

"You gotta move with it, roll your hip into it!" She called back. I could barely hear her, the wind was whipping me in the face.
"Roll.. My.. Hips" I repeated, as I tried my best to find a rhythm. I didn't work. By the time it had come to a stop a few minutes later, my crotch was on fire.

"Just a short journey down here" She called out, walking down a dirt path.

"Gimme.. Ah.. just unh.." I stammered, but she'd already gone around the corner.

I wobbled my way after her, a hand lodged into my crotch.. The pressure was helping a bit.

Down a short path, into some kind of cave, I followed the sound of running water.

"Well? It's quiet, right?" She turned toward me, a happy caring smile.

She had already changed into a swimsuit, it was this beautiful white 2 piece.

She was stunning, literally. I'd done too much staring so far that day, and there I was once again, stuck locked in place looking her up and down.

She chuckled at me, the noise grabbed my attention back.
"Like what you see? She smirked.

"Yes…" I said by reflex. "I.. I mean.. You look very good.. Yeah.. Uhm, good."

"I hoped you would."

She paused.
"Well.. You going to change?"

"R.. Right here?" I glanced around, we were certainly alone but.. She was just watching me.
"Yeah, why not?"

"Gi.. Gimme a minute!" I ran back down the tunnel.

She was very patient with me then. I sent her a quick text from around the corner

"Which one?" I sent. Quickly snapping three selfies of the few pieces of swimwear I had available on my Glam device.

They were pretty handy, a few years back some Sharlayan genius made this remote control thing that could store outfits.

When she picked the second one I sent.. I knew I should've just gone with my one piece without asking. It was this super revealing Bikini my friend made me buy. The underside of my boobs were showing, the bottom part disappeared up my ass.
"You've got a super flat belly! It'll look great on you!" She said..

Maybe if I had any tits to fill it out with..

As I peeked my head back around the corner Lilith was idling sitting on the edge of a lone pool of water. A secluded sheltered cave facing out toward the ocean, steam was rising off the surface of the cloudy blue liquid.

"Okay.. You got this, she said it was the best one, she's wearing a really nice one so she must know what she's talking about" I whisper, hyping myself up.

"I'm.. I'm back!" As I placed a foot into the warm water.
"Yes.. yes you are." She looked me up and down, like a hungry wolf eyeing its prey.
"D..Don't stare! This is really embarrassing to wear.."

"Don't be silly girl, you look perfect." That grin again. I was steadily beginning to learn she did it when she was teasing me.

I wadded my way toward her, she moved herself down into the water with a deep moan.
"Ohhh.. That's good".

I plopped myself down in front of her, attempting to cover as much of my body as I could. The water was kinda shallow, you could sit down and keep it above your chest. She was right though, the water did feel great.

Chapter Six - Tricks, nudity and an invitation

Lilith was staring at me quite a lot. I didn't think much of it at the time. Every time I caught her I felt the need to adjust my top. The feeling like a nipple had fallen out the bottom of it was constant. What pervert designed a bikini top like this?

"Are you sure this suits me? I feel like i'm wearing nothing at all"

"Oh, I'm sure."

She's been smiling at me non-stop, it's hard to keep her face in my sight, my eyes are constantly wandering around the pool.

"You really haven't been somewhere like this before?" She spoke up.

"N.. No, I don't really get out much. I did hear about a popular massage place in this city though. I kinda wanted to go but.. I don't think I'd be able to get naked for some complete stranger. Not that I'm very far from that right now.. But we're not strangers, right?" I tried to glance a look into her eyes. It didn't last very long. It's like she knew her gaze alone was affecting me so much.

"Hmm.. No, I don't think we are." She pauses, but I can't think of anything else to continue the conversation before she does it for me.
"Would it be okay if I got you naked and massaged you?"

My astonished face met her smug grin.
"I.. Uh.. Ah.. Uhm.." I battled my way through the stammer. "M….Maybe.. You wouldn't laugh at me or something?"

"No. I don't think a professional would laugh at you either." She said with confidence, like she was a professional.

"I.. Iunno.. Maybe it wouldn't be so weird with you.."

"How's that?"
"It's weird to say out loud" I was running the words through my head "You're different!" I wanted to say.

"It's up to you." She replied. I took that like some kind of challenge, was she egging me on?

"I don't know.. It's like.. I feel safe with you? Each time we've met you've come out of the blue and saved me… It's only two times but.."

She laughed. She laughed without restraint.

"You said you wouldn't laugh!" I called out. My cheeks puffed.

"I can't help it.. You're just so cute!" She got her last chuckle out and continued "I don't think anyone would feel unsafe with me, unless i was threatening them."

She had this look about her when she said that. She was serious. In thought about something. Did she know what it was like to threaten someone? For them to feel unsafe around her?

"Again with the cute comment.. What's so cute anyway?" I blurted out

"Hmm.. You know, I'm not really sure, you've got this innocence I find very charming."

I furrowed my eyebrows at her playfully.
"I'm not all that innocent! I've done.. Stuff"

"Stuff like your lingerie?"

"No… I uhm.. Never actually wore those… I had a boyfriend! We did stuff! Like kissing and.."

She pointed a curious face toward me, a tilt of her head.
"Wow… you kissed huh? What else?" She said with obvious sarcasm. She was pushing my buttons again.
"I got fingered on a beach!" I said with a blown out chest and confident grin on my face.

She didn't say anything for a moment. That's all it took for my burst of confidence to deflate.

"W..Why did i tell you that" I buried my face into my hands.

"I have to say.. I didn't expect that from such a shy, cute little thing like you. But that's just foreplay really"

I looked at her in shock. My only dirty achievement blew away in the wind, just like that "J..Just foreplay? Not sex…?"

"Well.. I guess it is sex, but come on, a quickie on a rock? That's barely even foreplay! There has to be more." She glared at me with determination. "Eat her out, mark her with your mouth, make her cum over and over while she squirms." My face was turning beet red, how could anyone just say stuff like that without dying of cringe on the spot. She must have noticed, her next words were pointed right at me.
"Sex is about intimacy, you should take your time to turn it into something grandiose."

We were silent for a moment, she was patiently waiting for my response.

"Make her cum over and over" I quietly repeated to myself. "H..Her? Are you.. Uhm.. Gay?"

My curiosity kept my eyes on her.
"Not gay.. No. I wouldn't really give it a name. I'm just vibing. But, yes. I do prefer women. Men are forward sure, but they don't think much, there's nothing tender about them. Women though.. They are thoughtful and open, maybe they overthink things more often but it's better than the wall men tend to be."

I nod along. Men certainly can be tough to love..

"Wait.. Cum over and over.. We can do that?" I exclaim.

"Oh honey…" She looks at me with genuine pity. "I'd make you cum ten times if you wanted me to. We could go all night long."

Oh.. My.. God..

"I.. Ah.." I had to change the subject, that damn smirk on her face was going to ruin me.

"So do you have a girlfriend then?" Was the first thing that came to my mind, the only available option for an escape.

She paused for a long time. She looked sad..

"Oh.. You-" She cut me off.

"They died. Nothing dramatic, just.. Time"

I froze. My stupid thoughtless question made her sad..
"It's in the past now though, I've come to terms with it." She forced a smile.

I couldn't stop my brain blurting out the next thought it had, I had to find a way to change the subject, I couldn't stand her looking like that.

"Your bikini is really pretty! I wish my body looked that good in something like this."

"Oh honey.. We need to work on that self confidence. You have such a poor vision of yourself, I wish you could see what I do." I could sense the pang of pity in her voice, it made it hard to hear what she wanted me to.

"No one's ever been interested in it before.." I mumbled.
"That's the thing about attraction, it's very subjective.." She trails off "Yeah.. Subjective." Her gaze locked onto my chest, she'd been looking every once in a while sure, but not like this.
"Lilith..? Hello..? Is there something on my chest?"

"Hmm..? Oh, yes.. Fabric." She continues without giving me the option to question that. "Honestly, it's their loss for not being interested in you."

I give an enthusiastic nod.
"Yeah, their loss! I can be fun! I learnt this trick, watch".

I have no idea where the confidence came from, maybe i just wasn't concerned about her thinking i'm weird or maybe stopped caring that she already knew i was.

I got up onto my knees and shifted close to her, wrapping my arms around her shoulders, my cheek must have only been centimetres away from hers.

"Okay.. Right, just.. A second.."

I'm fiddling behind her back, but it's all a ruse. I'd already picked up the pebble.

"Aaannnddd.. Tada!"

I shot backwards, Lilith looked rather shooked, I thought my trick was just that impressive.

"Was that just a way to get closer to me?" She grinned.

"N.. No, i.. It's just a part of the trick! Like.. A distraction so you can't see what I'm doing!"
"Suuuuure" She interjects.

"It is! It is.."

"Surely there was nooo other way to distract me." she adds coyly.

"Well.. Let's see you do a cool trick like that then!" I goaded her. She isn't the kind of person to challenge, I learnt..

"I do know a trick, I don't think you'll like it though, it's not your kind of trick." She knew full well I'd fall into her little trap.

"I like all tricks! I love to be surprised!"

"We'll see about that.." She said, inching toward me.

She gently placed her hands onto my shoulders. It hurt a little when she squeezed, I must have pulled a face or something because she let up quickly and pushed me over.

The water splashed onto my face, my eyes closed by reflex, before I could rub them clear, she was straddling me. Her legs spread over my waist. I could see the muscles of her inner thigh, that line that shows up when you spread your legs? The one that leads right onto your.. Y'know.

Finding my way back up to her face was a long trip. That freaking smirk was waiting for me when I finally arrived.

"You sure you can handle this trick?"

She met my goading with her own.

"I really don't think it's the kinda trick a shy, little, Au'ra mouse can take." She twisted her tone, like a bully from the school yard.

"I said I can take it!" I blurted out.

"Oh look who's found her fire!"

She leant down onto me, i didn't try to escape but it would have been pointless anyway, my legs were being held between hers. She pushed her chest into mine, my eyes were pulled into the gravity that was her cleavage getting closer and closer to my face.

She'd wrapped her arms around my neck, I could feel her hands on my back. But before anything trick worthy happened, she sat back up, loosening her grip on my body.

I sat myself up a little, pushing off the ground with my hands.
"So.. Are you.. Like.. Going to make something appear?

"I already did." As she raised her hands into the air. In her left hand was something of mine, something that most certainly shouldn't have been in her hand!

She chuckled at me with a devious grin.

"My top!" Quickly placing both of my breasts into my hands, removing any support I had. With another splash, I fell under the water.

Lilith climbed off me, standing above me with her prize.

"Giv.. Blah.. guh.." I struggled to keep myself above the water, refusing to remove my hands. With a shift of my butt, I pulled myself up with all the might I could muster, my abdomen pulled every favour it had for that move.

"Gimme. That. Back!" I violently began to shimmy towards her legs. Trying and failing to grab one between my own.

She drops it into the water just in front of me, giggling away.

"Oh you adorable little thing."

I grab the top with my feet and pull it towards me, shifting around, my back to her.

I slide it back on, pulling the string around my back.

"I.. Ah.. Hmmm.. I can't tie it up like this.." I slump forwards in defeat.

"Want a hand?" She's crouched right beside me, she's obviously looking over my shoulder, my hands the only thing keeping the top attached to me.
"Yes please.. It's the least you could do after taking it off!"

There's a splash of water as she takes a seat, her knees brush against my back.

"You were right, i guess you could handle it" I can feel her claws delicately grace my back as she's doing up the knot, humming along to herself.

"There!" She twangs the strap before taking a close seat to my side.

I look up at her, the loser in her battle of teasing. My face is still dripping with water and my hair's a mess.

"Good trick.." I uttered.

"Aww.. That's not what your little face is saying, come here." She opens her arms, a light gesture of her hands welcoming me in.

I welcome it, falling toward her, running a hand around her side, placing my palm flat against her back.

"You're cold again.. It's nice."

I push myself up her, bring my face into her neck, nuzzling a nose into it.

"Your hairs a state." She chuckles, gently brushing it off the side of my face. "I'm sorry i ruined your hair, your bowtie's fallen out." She runs all her fingers from my forehead to my neck, pushing my hair completely out of my face. "I'm glad you enjoy that, my temperature always seems to be on the low side."

"Mmmf" I let out. I'm too busy focusing on something much more important. My hands are slowly.. Sneakily.. Making their way up Liliths back, I have my prize just within reach. As my fingers finally land upon the knot of her top, I tug.. But nothing happens. My breathing starts to become ragged, i'm getting irritated, why isn't it working?

I stick my tongue out a smidge, biting the tip off to the side of my mouth. I hadn't noticed, but it was pushing against Liliths nape

"Ev…" She stammers "Everything okay back there?"

Her refreshing chill was being replaced by a pink warmth.

"Mh.. Mhm" I let out before an outburst. "How.. Do.. You.. Do this!?" I give one last futile tug on the string and push myself off her.

"Well there's more than just the knot on mine honey."

"I wanted to get it.. I was going to run away and.. My plan.. Ruined." I slumped down, legs crossed.

"There's a knot and the clasp, not so simple I'm afraid."

"I can't even put them on myself.. How am I meant to take it off someone else when I can't even see it!.. I still have to twist them round to my front.."

"Awww.." She was treating me like a kid!

"It's not "Awww"!" I prod her arm.

"Someday you'll be able to do it with just two fingers"

"Two!? You'll teach me?" I was beaming, genuine innocent excitement.

"Sure. Watch closely."

She reached an arm around her back, without breaking eye contact, she unclasped her top. With a practised and swift motion she pulled her bikini top off, her tits freed from their soft white jail, free to the wind, water… And my eyes.

My mouth was agape, my eyes locked onto her nipples like a laser pointer to a cat, I knew they were big, her clothes didn't often leave much to the imagination, but to see them just.. There. Out to the world. It was different. A part of her I thought so personal, so intimate, she was able to show me with no remorse or shame.

I could only utter a single word, the only word my boobie buckled brain could come up with.
"H..Huge"

"You like?" She questions, her voice deeper. It was less a question and more a command.

I just nodded.

I'd never seen another woman's pair like this. Like, sure, I've seen other tits but.. Not like this, not purposefully shown, just for me. She knew I was enamoured, she knew.

"I'm sorry! I shouldn't stare!" My cheeks had flushed red, if the water wasn't already hot, I would have been its heat source. I finally broke my ogling, returning my view to the safety of the rippling water between us.

"I don't mind." That same tone. She wanted me to look, she knew I wanted to look.

I didn't avert my gaze from the water, I could see her putting the top back on out of my peripheral, one last sneaky glance was too late. Just as quickly as she'd removed it, she was able to put it back on.

Her arms around her back, the pulling and tensing of her abdomen as she stretched to get a slightly better view of what she was doing. I did like muscles.. I do like muscles..

A moment of introspection as my hands raised to cup my own lacking mammaries, a light squeeze reminds me how little I, or rather anyone, cared for them.

"Need a hand?" Lilith asked.

I shot a glare at her.
"N.. No.. Perv."

"They're just breasts." Lilith added. "Just skin."

I sat there holding them, it made me ponder. Had I always just ignored them in the mirror? Did Takahito even like them? I can't remember him ever doing anything special with them..

"I guess.." As I looked back up at her, she was leaning back on one hand, smiling, watching me toy with my own chest.

My eyebrows furrowed.
"You can't have my top again" I stated with playful contempt

"Is that so? Wanna bet?" She was goading me again, it was working.

"Yes!" I commanded. "Loser has to.. To.. Give the other a massage!"

She looked rather shocked, I'd got her this time! I wasn't such an innocent little mouse like she thought.

"Is that what you want, is it? I'm not against you allowing me to explore your naked body."

I grimaced, but a spark of fight egged me forward.
"Hmph, you gotta win first" I had a foolproof plan, if i just held the knot in my hand, there's no way she could undo it.

I tightly gripped it, a confident grin on my face was met with one on hers. I wavered.
"Heh.. " A light chuckle from her told me everything was not going to go to plan.

Lilith is.. Fast, really fast. In one movement like lightning she grabbed the string between my breasts and pulled it up, right over my head. She tugged it right out from my grip and once again, had her prize, waving it toyfully in front of me.

"Ah.. Wait.. No.. That's cheating" I stumbled over the words, I had completely forgotten this top barely grips my boobs. It was almost zero effort on her side to break through my intricately planned victory.

"Can i… Have that back please?" I whimpered.

She leaned forward and gently took my hand, her eyes beaming with smug victory. Her face was close, only a slight bit more and our noses would touch. She placed my top into my hand and closed it around the fabric.

"I win"

She burst out laughing, recalling back to her relaxed position.
"But, instead of you giving me a massage, I would like to give you one, that's what you wanted anyway right?"

I just sat there, still stunned by my defeat, she was still laughing..

"Y..Yeah, I guess. But.. You won, is that really what you want?" I questioned, I was still gripping the tiny bikini top in my hand.

She just nodded, her eyes were wondering again..

I just wanted to try and tease her back a little bit, make her blush for once.

"You like looking at them that much? You.. Wanna touch them, or something?

"Hm.. It's not that I don't want to.. But I wouldn't make a move unless you said it was okay."

Oh.. I was just trying to toy with her a bit.. I didn't expect her to actually want to.

"I.. Ah.. Mhhh.. You.. Have to pay first!"

"I already won the bet, didn't i?"

Shit.. She was right.

"Y..You did… I guess.. It's fair then.."

I closed my eyes, an arm locking around my stomach. I tried to push my chest forward just a little as a way to say it's okay.

I heard her shift, the water splash, she got closer. It felt like an eternity, sitting there, waiting for the touch, for her claws to push against my skin, the tingle of my nipple as it rubbed the palm of her hand.

But it didn't come. There was a sudden weight on my head, she ruffled my hair and pushed my head down slightly.

"I'm only messing with you silly." I was disappointed? "You're too cute for your own good."

I pulled my top back around my chest, I was irritated, it didn't help that, that damn string was impossible to tie up.

"You just like teasing me, huh? Like I'm some lost little mouse, huh!

"Well, I am the cat here. A cat prefers to tease its prey before they go for the final strike." She watched me struggle with the knot. I'd finally got something to work, it was a lot looser though.

I grabbed a small pebble from the ground, and threw myself toward Lilith.

"Oh yeah, would a mouse do this?"

I pushed the small rock into her belly button, it didn't fit and fell out almost immediately, but I had made my point.

Or so I thought, as I looked up to her, my mission complete, I knew I'd screwed up. She had the most evil smile stretched across her lips.

"Waahh!" I screamed as she wrapped her arms around me, pinning my own to my body. I tried to struggle, it didn't achieve much, but because we're both wet, I slid down her slightly, bringing my face close to her neck.

"You mean, offer herself up like a cute little snack?" She squeezed me, the air in my lungs escaped, I couldn't get a word out. My only option was violence.

I threw my head forward and sunk my teeth into her nape. I didn't mean to bite so hard, not that it mattered though, she seemed to enjoy it.

"Ahh~~" Lilith let out a very audible moan and let me go.

"Ha! I made you moan! That means I win!" I stood up in front of her, placing both hands on my hips in glee.

"Oh, did you now?"

She swiped my legs out from under me. Another splash of water over my face as I sunk below the surface. She used the moment to straddle me. Pinning my legs together, grabbing my upper arms and pulling me up from the water.

"And what exactly do you win?"

I was spluttering water, i couldn't open my eyes in fear the water would sting, fight and flight was beginning to kick in. Old memories… Resurfaced.

"Oh.. Oh shit!" Lilith called out. She loosened her grip and pushed her arm around my back, pulling me up out of the water. With the love of something akin to a mother, she gently brushed the water from my face. I was coughing, water had gotten into my nose, my ears were plugged, I could barely open my eyes.

"Hey, hey. It's okay, I'm sorry. I went too far."

"Kh-.. Blugh" I squinted open my eyes to see her, she looked so concerned, i felt so bad. Because I was so much weaker than her, her playfulness turned sour.

"Stay with me now.."

I brought a hand up and brushed my eyes clear. They were stinging and red, a lone booger had been washed out of my nose, running down my cheek.

"That.. Massage… Better be good"

"Ha.. Hahahah" She burst out laughing again, pulling me close to her in an embrace.

"Yeah, it will be." A light squeeze and she helped me up. "You're a state.." She cupped a bit of water and rubbed my face clean. "You want to get out of the water? Maybe go inside?"

"Inside?" I questioned. "Right.. You live close by don't you? Yeah.. That'd be nice, I'm getting kinda chilly."

"Oh.. Well, my place isn't such a great idea." She glanced down at the ground as she pulled me softly toward the edge of the water. "My place is.. Messy."

"Messy is fine" I remarked, cupping a bit more water and blowing my nose into it. "I don't mind messy. I can help you clean if you want? As a thank you.. For taking me out."

"Please don't" She looked at me with a blank expression, no teasing or grin this time. "It's an.. Organised mess."

"I totally get that. My room is kinda messy too, books everywhere.. But things have their place, y'know? Panties in the panty drawer.. Heh.."

She just smiled, it was obviously a forced one.

"Yeah.. Let's go."

She stood and walked away. She didn't wait, or beckon me, or anything.. What was I going to find at her house that was making her like this?

Our walk was quiet, we didn't ride her Chocobo this time, I didn't question it. I had no idea how to break the silence.

I'd ruined the mood when she was just trying to have a bit of fun.. Maybe I wasn't the right kinda person to be her friend. She's strong and I'm.. Not.

Chapter Seven - Lilith's Home

We approached the giant building, a hundred or so apartments lodged inside it, one of which.. Was hers.

By the time we'd climbed the stairs to its entrance Lilith seemed to have perked up a bit, I have no idea what she was thinking about on the way there.

"It's several floors up, there's an elevator though." She grabbed a set of keys from her pocket. We'd put on our normal clothes just before leaving the pool, Glamourer magic comes in handy for that kinda thing. Sure you're butt naked for a split moment but being able to store dozens of clothes on you at all times is great.

A quiet but short upward trip and we were walking side by side down a modern looking hallway. She stopped at her door, "69" it read.

"Of course it is.." I chuckled.

"Seriously, be prepared, it's in the middle of renovations so stuff is kinda, everywhere." She was quite adamant about it.

"It's fine… Really."

She swung it open to reveal.. Exactly what she was trying to prepare me for. Books absolutely everywhere, randomly placed desks and tables holding yet more books and assortments of plates, cutlery, food, clothes, bottles, glasses. Honestly, name it. It was probably somewhere in that apartment.

I was a little taken aback.

"Told ya.."

I took a moment for me to take it all in, a slow step past the precipice only showed me more that laid just out of sight. Above us on a barely held up floating platform was, you guessed it, more books, but also her bed. I could just make out a couple wine glasses beside it.

"Huh.. Hmm~" I mumbled between breaths, slowly making my way from each bizarre landmark to the next.

"Y'know.. Normally, I think a room like this would drive me crazy, but it feels kinda.. Cosy."

She gave me an odd look, like I was lying to her but she couldn't figure out why.

I didn't pay it much attention, normally I would have internalised it, roiled over it for 5 days and finally.. Likely cried.

But my addled brain already had way too much information in it so..

"Oh.. Are these those.. Uhm, Shirogane dumplings?"

Sitting on a round bedside table, not anywhere near a bed, I should add, were a set of wrapped candy dumplings. I bought some from a merchant some time ago and never found a way of getting more.

"Oh uh, yeah.. You, want one?"

"Yes!.. Oh, I mean, uh, no. They're yours, I shouldn't." I sulked a little, hands tied together at my front. I didn't do it on purpose to get what I wanted.. It's just a natural position for me.

"Oh little mouse, go right ahead" She plucked one off the table and handed it to me. Hard to say no once it's already in my hands. I tugged open its wrapper and plopped one into my mouth.

"Mhhhh~ Oh that is exactly like i remember" I bit down into it, the soft mushy rice exterior melted throughout my mouth.

"Oh.. Ohh! It has strawberries in the middle!"

Lilith chuckled and left me to inspect the room.

I was like a child lost in a toy shop, my attention grabbed by every tiny little interest, only to drop it moments later for the next kick. Her room was both a nightmare and heaven at the same time. Pure overload mixed perfectly with enough to keep my mind moving forward.

"Would you like something to drink?" She asked, a glass already in her hand.

I glanced at her, down to the glass and then right to the wine case behind her.

"Wine?" I asked, toyfully.

Wine would help, wine would really help. It's gotten me through many tough or awkward situations, it hit me pretty quick, even considering the amount I would drink at home alone.

"Hm, yeah, we can have some wine, not this though, i have something in mind" A coy smile broke the edge of her mouth. She held a palm out flat, pointed to the ceiling, her face turned to concentration and with a small flash, an unopened bottle of wine appeared atop it. It looked expensive, I was very curious, taking slow steps towards her, eyeing the bottle, back to her, back to the bottle.

"You're.. Sure? This looks.. A lot."

"Yeah, I'm sure. I would have opened it at some point, why not now?"

I watched as she popped the cork, pouring us a glass each.

"So what do you do for fun, when you're home?" I asked.

She chuckled and gestured around the room.
"Read, normally" An obvious answer.

"Right.. Yeah, my bad, that was a silly question"

She handed me my glass, and I took a sip immediately.

"Oh.. Oh wow this is good!" I took another longer sip. It had a fantastically fruity flavour joined by a strong initial bitter kick to the back of my throat.

"I'm glad you like it!" She took a sip of her own, a much more modest one, compared to mine. "So, you.. Want that massage still?"

My eyes widened. I hadn't forgotten it was the entire reason we came here, I just wasn't expecting her to push it. I had kinda assumed the whole thing was a bit of a joke she used to take me back to her place, just to dry off, have something to drink or eat, y'know?

"Y.. Yes" I stammered, she'd really caught me off guard. I took another large sip of wine.

"The bed okay? Will be more comfy than the floor, that's for sure."

I just nodded, watching her sway as she went to sit on the bed's edge. Getting up onto the platform was uh.. Difficult. A crude set of wooden stairs with no railing led to the raised escape. I took each step slowly; she, on the other hand, took two steps at a time.

She took my hand as I breached the top of the stairs, steadying my wobble.

I'm not great with heights, this wasn't like.. High, but a fall would certainly hurt. The platform didn't have any guards or something to stop you falling. It was like stepping out onto the edge of a cliff, your brain knows not to do anything, but your curiosity pushes you to step closer to the edge anyway.

I peered over the side and gulped.

"I'm.. Going to sit" I reached out to the bed with my free hand, she gripped the other a little harder. Knees wobbled as I lowered myself to the soft embrace of safety the bed provided.

"You okay?" She chuckled. "It's not the best setup, I know."

I settled with a deep breath, grabbed my glass and finished it off.
"This stuff.. Isn't that strong, right?"

"Oh, it's pretty strong." She was eying the glass. "You want some more?"

Another nod from me, and the glass was refilled.

"You haven't eaten, slow down with this one, yeah?"

I took a defiant sip and placed it down beside me.

"So uh.. How does this work? I've never had a massage before and-" I started, my rambling was going to continue before she cut me off.

"It's pretty simple, either laydown on your stomach, or come sit in front of me." She explained, a small sip of the wine before she placed it down, reaching for a palm sized glass bottle of oil. "Floral love" it said on the label, little pictures of roses budding.

"I'll uhm.. Lay down, I think. I'm getting pretty tired after all" As I go to lay down she stops me.

"Wait, you.. Want to get into something more comfortable?" She asked with a curious but wanting gaze that walks up and down my body. I just kneel that for a moment, staring at her confused. My current list of events was shut down by a bizarre question, at least to me, I was already wearing something pretty comfy, I slept in it all the time.. I pondered what she meant for an extended piece of time before she spoke up again

"So I don't get oil on your clothes, that's all. Try not to worry too much, this is going to be relaxing." She placed a hand onto my shoulder and smiled.

"R..Right.. Yeah, of course. The oil.." I was still a little lost. I'd told her that this was all new to me, maybe she just didn't realise how little i knew about it. Just rubbing, that's all I thought.. I didn't know oil or even more comfy clothes were a requirement. My heart rate was beginning to increase. Was it the initial kick of alcohol or something else..?

Thankfully I had a small vest on under my sweater, so I figured that'd be fine, right? I pulled it up over my head and placed it down in front of me. I gave the bottom of my top a tug down and laid on my stomach, crossing my arms in front of my head to act as a form of pillow and to raise my head enough that I could watch her beside me.

She was already pouring out some oil into her hand, rubbing it between the two. The strong floral scent began to fill the area, it was almost overpowering.

"How does it smell? You like it?" She questioned, gently placing a finger tip onto the small of my back.

"It's super strong, but I like it, smells like my mum's garden." I was settling into my position, shifting left and right with my waist, I could feel her finger slide along my skin as I did. "Okay.. I'm ready.. I think."

"Alright~ Oil should be nice and warm now." She said, steadily placing her full palm down.
"Eeep!" I screamed
"Oh.. Oops, maybe not warm enough." She chuckled. Placing the second hand down slightly higher up my back, a finger pushing its way under my top. "It'll warm up soon, don't worry."

I let out a high pitched squeak as she started spreading oil around on my back. I immediately felt slick, her hands glided over my skin with a soft ticklish sensation. She worked her way up my back, her hands pushing up my top. I could feel it starting to get wet with oil.

"S..Should i.. Uh.. Remove my top? It's getting oily right?" I looked toward her with concern, I was genuinely worried about ruining my top..

"Oh uh, if you're comfortable with that?"

I nodded while already in motion, lifting up onto my elbows, pulling my top over my head and quickly putting myself back down.

"T..That should be better, right?" I mumbled, more to myself than to her.
"It will, yeah." She replied.

My back totally exposed now, she seemed to find her work easier. Smooth, strong hands continued to spread oil. My shoulders, waist, side of my chest, that middle divot where your spine is.. I was pretty much totally covered by the time she started pushing fingers into my muscles.

I'm uh.. Vocal, when it comes to this kinda stuff, I moan and breathe pretty loud.. Y'know?

Anyway.. Her experienced touches were immediately setting that off, she dug them into my waist, turning hardened tense areas into sites of pleasure. Pushing ridges of muscle into jelly through repeated motions, I was in ecstasy. Each new shift of pressure pulled a moan from between my lips, my body felt like it was sinking into her bed.

As she worked her way up my sides, coy nudges on the side of my boobs, fingers digging under me only to pull back out, fingertips lovingly dragging tension from my body. She was starting to get more daring, I was too far lost in my pleasure to care.

As she pushed fingers under my sides toward my belly, pulling them up along my body, they slid their way over my chest, colliding with my now really hard nipples.. She obviously felt them, she knew just from that how I must have been feeling. She let out a small chuckle before speaking.

"Okay, I'm going to work on your shoulders now, when I'm done with that I'll move onto your legs, that okay?" I just let out an affirmative groan and she got right to work.

She'd been somewhat gentle with my back but as she moved into my shoulders and nape she really began to dig in deep, pushing and pulling at deeply set muscles and tendons.

With a quick motion, she straddled my back, placing her bum onto mine. She was heavy, in all the right ways. I felt so encased by her, as she leant forward to work on my clavicle I could feel the warmth coming from her, she was working hard to give me the best experience she could. Ragged worked breaths escaping her travelled down my back.

I was beginning to get really.. Really aroused.

I couldn't help it! It was my first time being touched like this.. Ever. It was my first time being touched at all in like.. 2 years. My body was just reacting normally.. It was totally natural.

I tried to tell myself that over and over, it didn't really help, but god i didn't want it to stop. My entire upper body felt incredible, heated waves of pleasure constantly pushing their way down my spine with her every squeeze.

With one last gentle scrape of her nails down my back she shifted down my legs.

"It okay if I take these off~?" She questioned in a sing-songy tone. I could hear her enjoyment of it all, how much of an effect she was having, high on her control over my body.

I couldn't get a word out, another affirmative moan was all the answer she needed as she pulled down my tights.. I wasn't exactly wearing nice panties, I wasn't planning on anyone seeing them.

She didn't seem to mind at all though, soft giggles to herself as she took her time sliding the fabric down my legs.

A purposeful, light touch on the base of my foot as she pulled the tights completely off me, drew a scream from me. I turn to glare at her for tickling me but she's too busy laughing to herself to even notice.

"God.. You're just so fucking cute" She mumbles to herself, shifting back up, placing her knees either side of my feet. I could hear her pour more oil into her hands, the slick slapping sounds as her fingers interlaced over and over.

With warmer hands this time, she spread the liquid over my calves and inner knee.

The pleasure here was different, notably painful but not bad. It was a required pain to feel the release afterward, her fingers pushed in between leg muscles and masterfully extracted any pain I had.

As someone that enjoys running, my legs were pretty tough to work on i bet, she used her thumbs to push tension away from certain sections to then rub that tension in circles, spreading it out around the thicker parts of the calf, it didn't take her long to be satisfied with the work, moving onto the other leg and eventually moving up toward my thigh.

Shifting her position upward, she gently separated my legs, just enough to get her knee comfortably up to the same height as my own. Then she started to work on my thigh.. I uhm, really wasn't prepared for what she had in store.

It.. Started nicely, sure. Spreading the oil out, nice a warm this time, outer thigh, back of my legs, a little bit on my butt.. The inner thigh was the real start of my uh.. Problems.

She touched that area so differently compared to everywhere else, a soft caress. Not trying to shift muscle or relieve tension, almost like she just wanted to stroke them.

She was coy about it but I could tell what she was doing though.. But for some reason, maybe I was just that relaxed or.. I was too afraid to say stop and make her sad. I really wanted her to like me.

Her hands would roll over the top of my thighs, fingers gentle brushing against the fabric of my panties. Swift calculated motions brought fingers dancing around some of my most sensitive areas.

Then she hit the crease between my butt and the thigh.. Oh god did it feel good, the lightest pressure she'd put on it was like.. What I imagine drugs to feel like.

"H.. Holy shit, that part.. Right there" I managed to get out between low pitched grunts, i was having a hard time controlling my voice..
"W..Which?" She questions, trying to find it.

I leaned to my side, I must have completely exposed my tits to her.. Again.. But god i didn't care, my entire body was on fire, aching for more.

I took her hand and guided fingers into the spot. She called it my Adductor muscle.. To be honest, I wasn't really listening. But uh, it's the one that connects your inner thigh to your leg, I guess. The bottom of it runs down right next to uh.. Y'know.. Your private parts.

"Ohh~ I see, it does feel kinda tough, I'll see what i can do."

She started with its lower part, about ⅓ the way down my inner thigh. I spread my legs wider to help get a better angle.. I don't think she saw it that way. She pretty quickly started running pressured thumbs up along the muscle. Her fingers would nudge my crotch almost every time she did.. I was uh.. Starting to get kinda wet.

Her nudges started to get a little more.. Aggressive. Maybe she was just focusing on what she was doing and didn't even realise that thumb was pushing almost entirely into my pussy..

My panties were starting to get wet, I could feel the slightly coldening stain forming. Each time she'd nudge into me they'd soak up a little more.

My body was starting its autopilot.. Horny mode.. I stopped caring, I was enjoying it, a lot. My concerns of judgement flew out the window with each playful peck she placed onto my moist panties.

She shifted to the other side, straddling one leg, the warmth of her crotch on my inner knee only added to my arousal, was she getting turned on too? I mean she was just staring at my spread crotch getting wetter and wetter.. Maybe she was?

Her nudges didn't stop as she began on the other leg, in fact they became even more adventurous, slipping a finger under the hem of my panties, gently nuzzling my outer lip for the briefest of moments.

I could feel a build up.. A ball of pleasure waiting impatiently to be released, begging for it with each and every caress.

I was going to cum.. If she didn't finish soon.. I was going to cum, right here, right where she could watch it all.

She brought me to the brink time after time, finger tips pushing just a little further into me each time. My legs continued to spread, my mind taking over to invite her in for more.

She didn't accept.. Moments away from my finality. She stopped.

"Okay, all done." She exclaimed loudly, with one last squeeze of my thigh.

I was out of breath, ragged hot exhales of air separated my words.
"Huh.. What..?"

"You're all limbered out, my work is done. You feel better? She met my confused expression with an evil smirk.. I felt like she knew exactly what she did.

"Uh.." I had to catch my breath, calm down.. My heart was going a malm a minute. My hair was a mess from being held in my arms, little spikes of it protruding from my head. I must have looked like a girl that just spent the evening in her boyfriend's room for the first time.

"Was it that good?" She asked, placing a hand onto my butt. She leaned forward and laid beside me.

I nodded, trying to avoid eye contact.. It was all coming to me, what had just happened. How close I was to utterly embarrassing myself, even more than I already had anyway..

"Glad I could be of service, feel free to ask for another anytime." She smirked, her face was close to mine. She laid on her side, an arm keeping her head up, she was just watching me come to terms with the situation.

We laid there together for a short while, it was taking me some time to calm down, she was happy to witness it. But she came to a conclusion about something, pushing herself up quickly.
"Oh! You must be thirsty, let me get you some water, I feel like you lost quite a bit of it, hm?" She turned to give me a smug knowing grin as she grabbed a nearby bottle.

"I.. Uh.. Y.. Yes please, water would be nice." I didn't know how to speak to her anymore, I took everything I had just to agree.

I took the bottle from her, sat up and gulped down as much as I could. It took till I was half way through the 2 litre bottle to realise I was basically naked.
"Hmff!" I let out a gasp into the bottle before trying to cover myself up, a limp arm that could barely do as it was told wrapped around the middle of my chest. Everything felt disconnected throughout my body, shoulders so relaxed my surprised expectation of them was too much.

She must have sensed my discomfort, she pulled a blanket over me pretty quick and went searching for my clothes.

"Hm.. Your top is pretty oily, you want one of mine?" She already had one in her hands, some band shirt I think? It looked way too big for me. I took it anyway and slid it on. It stuck to my skin immediately, thankfully most of my front wasn't oiled so my tits were free from the t-shirts attempt to meld into me.

I continued rehydrating myself, her shirt went all the way down past my butt, it was perfect for the occasion. It even smelled like her.. Almost like a reflex I pulled it up to my nose and took in as much of her scent as I could.

"It's not smelly is it?" She looked concerned, a little embarrassed.

"No.. Smells like you." My face was half covered by the shirt, I closed my eyes to focus on the smell.

She seemed lost for words, maybe taken aback by my actions? It was nice to see that I could affect her like that too.

"It's uhm.. Pretty late." I mumbled. "If uhm.. It's okay, I think I'm going to head home, I wanna shower and stuff y'know?" The oily sensation was starting to get on my nerves. If you could do massages without it, they'd be perfect.

"Yeah of course, want me to walk you back? You can keep the shirt by the way, it suits you."

"Thanks.. Um, but uh, maybe just to the Aetheryte? I wouldn't want you to pay to teleport, just to come right back. I um.. Only live like 15 minutes away from the one in Ishgard anyway." I tried to stand, but my legs were wobbly. I stumbled as my knees buckled under me.

Without a word, Lilith lurched towards me, catching me in her arms. Her chest makes a great safety pillow.. It also happens to be exactly where my head went.

"Woah there.. Everything okay?"

I grunt as the world begins to spin around me.

"Y..Yeah.. Just uh.. Dizzy for a mo.." I use her to stabilise myself, clutching my head as things begin to settle.

"You sure..?" She took my shoulders, helping me stand up straight.

"I'm just uhm.. A little worn out, that's all.. Everything still feels so loose my body can't keep up with me.. Heh.." I let out a nervous chuckle

"'C'mon, let me help you down the stairs."

Our walk from the apartment building was quiet again, but it didn't feel tense this time.. I was just kinda busy internalising what had happened to really reply to her, simple nods and okays, I wasn't listening… Not really, I feel pretty bad about it now. I feel pretty bad about that whole night.

"Okay, this is it." She snapped me out of my daze.

"Hm? Oh.."
"You sure you're doing okay?" She was concerned.. She'd obviously noticed I wasn't quite myself on the walk, her concern was painful, I didn't deserve it.

"Yeah.. just sleepy, y'know? Not quite here anymore.. Heh.." Another nervous chuckle as I lie to her.

"Okay well, get home safe okay? Text or call me when you get home!"

I just nod, my best fake smile.

I should of been thankful, said how nice it was for her to take me out, to welcome me into her home, to treat me so nicely, to worry about me.. But I didn't.. I didn't say anything. I just left with a meek wave.

I'm such a shit person.

Chapter Eight - Home again, my phone chimes

It's pretty late by the time I got home. The thing about travelling to the other side of the planet for a day is that time gets weird. I got to Shirogane when it was pretty late over there. We didn't leave the pool until it was completely dark out. Now that I'm home, it's only just evening.

I slump down onto the couch, kick my shoes off and sigh deeply.

"What on Hydaelyn am I going to do…"

Things got a little out of hand.. Lilith is.. Intense. It was going to take a while till I could get used to it. She's confident with what she wants, but she'll sit on it till I say something, or let her know it's okay. She's really caring but.. I wish she'd take the lead more, I can barely make choices for myself, let alone both of us.

I mean.. She leads me around and pushes the conversation and stuff but..

My hand wandered to my thigh, a lone finger on its own mission pushed toward my crotch.

"I was completely in her hands, she could have done anything to me.. I would have let her.. Probably.." I'm irritated. I clench my teeth. "Fuck! Why am i so fucking.. " I sigh. "Desperate…"

My crotch is warm.. My consciousness doesn't really notice, but the leading soldier of her platoon of five has reached the enemy base, it's surrounded by a mote!.. I'm wet, really wet.

I stifle a lump in my throat.

"Why would I even want her to? What's wrong with me.. We met like.. 4 days ago! I barely know her.. No. I don't know her. What's with those powers? How does she lose a partner to.. Time? She's like.. 30 at most!"

I stand. Mission self satisfaction is aborted, those great soldiers were lost, the mote was too much of a barrier.

"I should shower…"

I walked around looking like i'd just lost my job or something, I can't pick up my head at all. I grab everything I need, towel, pyjamas to change into. They're dirty.. I didn't care.

As I stepped in I had to keep turning the water colder and colder. It didn't help, I still felt so hot.

I let out a groan.
"Shut up brain, pleeease~"

It was a slideshow on repeat, her apartment.. Her bed.. Her hands..

"Please, please, please~.."

I began to wash myself, the oil was still staining my back, damn stuff was impossible to get off, I might still have it on me for all I know.

My hands wondered, soap in a loose grip. Armpits.. Shoulders, neck, back, stomach..
I was avoiding certain locations.. My skin was way too sensitive, every stroke just reminded me of her.

But my autopilot had other ideas. When the soap nudged a swollen nipple I screeched, the soap escaped and found its home on the floor.

"Mhhh…" I sighed. Lightly, I poked the offending nipple, it's sore.. But, it felt good.

I eyed the soap.
"You can't escape me that easily little~.. Mouse!" I took a stance, like a cat ready to strike.

"Hyy..Ya!" I jumped it. It never stood a chance. Grip marks around my innocent prey told the tale of my victory.

My knees slumped from under me, my butt slapped the smooth tiled floor. It was cold.. So wonderfully cold.

I layed down on my front and took it all in. The sharp pang of pain for an instant as my body shouted at me to stop, the cold shocked over my chest and stomach was bliss.

"Twelve damned.. How does even this remind me of her!?" I shouted into the floor.

"Stupid cold, soft, sexy Lilith!... Stupid me.."

I laid there, still. The ground was quickly warming up to my temperature.

My hand was pressed under me, the palm flat against my thigh.

The world believed they were KIA, that those brave soldiers drowned in the deepest of motes, its unending supply of water.

The world was wrong! Those soldiers struggled through it all, the barren wastelands of recent years when the motes had all dried up, missions ending in failure time after time. Their younger years when they were pushed to the bone every night, only brought respite when the great weapons of war came to aid them.

They inched ever closer to the centre of the enemy base, its walls posed no challenge, pushed out of the way with ease. It's inner sanctum, their true goal.

There it was. Hidden away under a hood, the power source.. They need only gently rub it's surface and it would all be over.

"Mnnff.."

They had done it. Mission complete, the button pressed.

But the button needed more..

"Ahhmmmhh~"

They paused.. Something was wrong.

"Mnnn… No! You wont get the best of me woman!" Another mission.. Failed.

I stood. The water battered my back. Yet another sigh leaves my nose.

I slid the door aside, grabbed my towel and stomped to my room. I completely forgot my pyjamas.

I collapsed onto my bed, I just needed to sleep, to shut down, this would move on.. It had to.

Only a few short minutes of silence was granted to me, before my phone chimed.

It was upstairs, not that, that was going to stop my curiosity. No one texted me.. It was on silent for pretty much everything else.

"Who.." It came to me.. I knew exactly who it was going to be.

"Lil.." I jumped up, the blanket caught my feet, just as quickly as I rose, I fell. A sharp clonk to my forehead on the edgeboard.

"Dh.. Dammit." I clambered back up, rubbing my slowly swelling wound.

I don't think I've run up a set of stairs that fast since I was a kid called for birthday presents.

I lunged toward my phone, unlocked it with practised swipes.

(Notifications: 1 media message from Lilith.)

"Oh god.. Oh fucking god.. A picture? A… Fh.. Freaking picture?"

I paused, the phone relocked while I stood there. The message lingering on the screen, taunting me.

"Hoo.. Haa.. Hoo.. Okay.."

I clicked it. My eyes shut, but it was too late, they'd already grabbed a snapshot of the present Lilith had sent me.

She was laying on her bed.. The same bed I was on only an hour ago. I could still see the stains of oil..

She was wearing lingerie, black, lacy.. Open. That damn.. Freaking.. Grin..
My mote overflowed, rivers pushed down its banks. My grip tightened around the phone.

She was wet, I could see the water pooling between the lines of her abdomen, her hair tied up away from her face. It normally framed her perfectly, but now, with it all on show, it was almost like a different person. I gulped.
"Haaahh.." I let out an extended hot breath. "Wh..Why would she.. Send this?"

A drip hits the ground, the mote becomes a waterfall.

I began to steadily make my way back downstairs. My eyes never leave the phone. A thumb stroking the image it granted me.

I climbed onto my bed, pushing the blanket off the side. Grabbing a pillow, I laid atop it, wrapping an arm around its soft thoughtless existence. Face down, my phone gently placed onto the white fabric.

The mission.. Was back on.. Heh.. No, I shouldn't keep that up.

My hand ran its way down my side, pushing its way between my leg and the pillow.
"God damn.. Mhhf.. Lilith you.."

My fingers wormed their way into my lips, my entire inner thigh was drenched, there was zero resistance as they pushed against my button.. My clit.

"Ahhhmmhff" I let out a loud moan, trying and failing to stifle it halfway through.

"Y.. You knew.. Mhh.. Didn't you?.. You knew this would send me over the edge." My gentle touches weren't enough. I pushed hard into my clit, spreading my fingers around its edges, coming back to pinch it, a light tug with it between my fingertips.

My room was filled with the sounds of my failure in control.

"Guh.. God please.." I raised my hips from the pillow, my legs spreading out. My eyes were completely locked to the image on my phone. I took in every tiny detail of her body. I could stare all I wanted to now.

My fingers slide back and forth, punishing my clit for the torment it was putting me through.. It still wasn't enough.

I arched my back forward, pulling my arm closer. I slide a finger deep into myself.

"AHHhhh.. Mhhff…. Hah.. I.. I bet you'd f~ucking love to see this huh? Lilith!.. Well you caaa~nn't" My fingers knew where to go, another slide inside me, pushing in and out with a wet slap every time my palm collided with my slit. Every hit was a punch of blissful pleasure shot up my spine.

"You'd reveal in watching me punish my.. My.. Puuuuss~.." My fingertips dug into my walls, they couldn't quite reach the right area.. It was just a little further in, my best spot.

"Hah…Hah.." My hand stopped for a brief moment, I caught my breath.

Sitting up, my fingers to my forearm was completely soaked in my own juice. I took a moment and stared at it, I couldn't just.. Touch my phone with it like that y'know?

I placed an offending finger onto my tongue without much of a second thought, the other joined it shortly after.

Shimmying my butt forward, I grabbed the phone with new slightly cleaner hands. I laid onto my back, raising my butt onto the headboard, it was vertical to me, it was the only way I knew how to get as deep as I needed. Thankfully I'm pretty stretchy, I guess.

I placed the phone onto my chest and returned my hands to where they should be.

They sunk back into my hole. I hadn't been this aroused since I was a teenager, I wasn't used to it, the shock of pleasure as my finger tips reached the end caused me to throw my head back into the mattress.

"Fh.. Fuu~ccckk~" Every pound against my deepest point inched me closer and closer.

My other hand was needed, I pushed two fingers against my clit, digging my nails into the flesh.

"H.. How would you reee~aactt.. If you knew, huh?.. Wh.. Woooodd~ Yu.. tease me? Would you.. Ahh.. Laa~..Laugh at me?"

I imagined her here with her, standing beside the bed, that damn fucking smug grin of hers as she looked down at me.

"Oh my cute little mouse.. Aren't you having fun? She'd say.. She'd crouch down beside me, leaning onto the bed.. Her face just too far away for me to kiss her.

"Nu-uh little mouse, i won't help you unless you ask."

My hands were beginning to burn, i didn't care, i was getting so fucking close.

"Pl… Please.. I need you, please! Fucking kiss me!"

She pushed into me, our lips locked, her tongue invaded my mouth, taking over every space I had to give.

"FFfuuuu~~~~" My entire body clamped, every pulse squeezed the fingers inside me, but they weren't done.
"MMGFFF~" I pushed them as deep as I could, pressing hard onto my clit, my nails digging into my entire pussy. I needed that pain, I needed Lilith to be the one doing it.

Another orgasm shotgunned through me. My foot was slapping against the back wall, as my entire body shook.

"Hah.. Hah…" I panted, my fingers felt locked inside me as I tugged them out. A gentle brush against my clit as I brought my fingers to my mouth.

I laid like that for a while, suckling on my fingers, I imagined they were hers.. Like she'd pushed them into my mouth after she abused me.

As the pulses began to subside, the guilt settled in, in its place.

"Ahhh.." My voice trailed off.

I got angry with myself. I hadn't masturbated in a while.. I really.. REALLY needed that. But why did it have to be because of her? Since she dragged me from that party I've looked up to her like some kind of mentor. I needed a friend, someone to end my loneliness, instead.. All I got was my own guilt ridden lust.

I looked to the side of my bed, I'd hoped she'd still be there, a soft smile to tell me what I did was okay.

But she wasn't.

I turned my head back and stared at the ceiling, my hands raised above my face, they glistened in the low light. I grimaced at how I'd sucked them, the flavour of myself still strong in my mouth.

"I'm so gross.. How could I have thought she'd want any of that.. Just 'cause she's interested in women doesn't mean she's interested in me… Why would I be interested in her..I'm not..Gay.."

My mind battled between confusion and self loathing.

"Ugghhh! I can't believe that i.. Almost.."

The image of her straddling my back, her room, her bed. Her smooth, strong hands digging into every sweet ridge and valley.

"Came…"

I thought back to the pulses that rolled up my legs as she pushed her thumbs into the muscle, how her finger tips would inch ever closer to the hem of my panties. Her daring advances of pressure grew ever higher, ever inward. How she would push, only to retreat back down and pretend like she hadn't just brushed a finger under the edge of my most intimate spots only piece of protection.

Each time she would nudge the wet stained fabric covering my mound, I grew closer to the edge, my clit was on fire, engorged to a size it had never thought possible. The movements of my legs as she rubbed them tugged and shifted my panties, the tiniest tickles of my pubes etched pleasure into me.

My hands began to mimic her moves, my legs were still risen above me, my knees dangling just above my chest. I rode a hand along my thigh muscles and squeezed them like she did. It wasn't the same.

"What do you want from me, brain!?" I called out to my metaphysical torturer. It's constant battery of images like hammers to my broken sexuality. "This is dumb, you're dumb… I'm dumb… This isn't a crush, I'm not interested in her like that!" I affirmed to myself. "It's just some stupid lust. I haven't.." I trail off.. My gaze returns to the blank ceiling, a frequent listener to my woes.

"I just needed to cum, that was all, okay? It's done now.. No more, okay?.."

I slumped down, my butt slipping along the headboard. As I closed my legs I felt the twang of pain, my hand shot to its source.

My petting might have been a little too hard.. I could feel the indents of my nails lining my outer lips.

"Mhff.. Ow"

I grabbed my duvet and turned into a ball under it, squeezing my pillow between my arms and legs.

"Maybe I shouldn't see her anymore.. "

My own suggestion hurt. I really wanted to see her again. Maybe it was for the best though, if i'm going to lose control like this every time we hang out..

My thoughts trailed endlessly that night, I can't remember falling asleep.

I woke up a complete mess. Drool all over my pillow, wet hair tangled horribly throughout my tossing and turning.

I followed my routine, brush teeth, wash face, get dressed; the forgotten dirty PJ's, and doom scrolled through pointless content on my phone.

"This place is best for me.. My own little personal prison."

Interlude

Hi again..

Heh.. Yeah.. I mean, what can I even say after that?

I got fondled, edged and incessantly teased, I was growing a kink for it.

I guess you know enough about me now to make a guess how screwy my brain is. But ho, ho.. Don't you worry, it gets worse..

So desperate for a new friend I'd let a stranger lead me to a secluded pool and take my top off without so much of a complaint. I'd follow her home, let her place her hands wherever she wanted. Buckle under her control, her unquestionable command over me.

Sure I had fun, I didn't think so deeply about it at the time, but who does when they're being controlled like that? Did Lilith even know she had that sway over me, or was it totally normal for people to just do as she told them?

It'd been 2 years since Takahito left me, I had a couple partners before him but nothing ever really.. Happened, y'know? In two meetings with Lilith I already did more with her, than with 90% of my actual boyfriends, and she was a woman. Everything that happened between us felt like my fault, had I just been able to control myself it would have been fine, just a playful little massage, never going below the butt or something.

But no. There I melted, the couch that once knew many sitters, all alone, just like me.

End of Part One