Lisa

I'm tense as I wait in front of the airport. I'm feeling conflicted as hell. I should've spoken to Jennie, but she's been avoiding me all week. I don't even blame her. I did everything within my power to push her away.

Rosé walks out with her suitcase in tow, and she grins at me. My heart twists painfully at the sight of her. I love my sister, but now that Jennie is back, all the damage she did feels so fresh. I know better than anyone else that she's no longer the vicious little girl that she used to be. Hell, I was the one that paid for all the treatments, the psychiatrists, psychologists and even the freaking MBA she decided to do.

Rosé walks up to me and hugs me tightly, and I wrap my arms around her. "Hey baby sis," I murmur, and she grins up at me.

"Missed you, Lisa," she says, her eyes twinkling. She looks healthy and happy, but will she still when she realizes Jennie is back? I'm worried. I'm worried about how Jennie might react when she sees Rosé again. She's been avoiding my mother since the day that she came over for lunch, and I've barred my Mom from my house for the time being, in an effort to respect Jennie's wishes.

I'm quiet as Rosé and I step into the car, and she looks at me with interest. "So, she's back, huh?" Rosé says, and I freeze.

I glance at her, my expression far more tense than I intended. "Stay away from her. She's going through enough."

Rosé inhales deeply and looks away, hiding her face from me. I sigh and run a hand through my hair. I'm a horrible sister for feeling this way, but I wish she hadn't come back for the holidays this year. With John being as sick as he is and Jennie finally back for the first time in years… I just want Jennie to have a peaceful couple of days. I want to protect her from my family as best as I can, the way I should have done years ago.

"I'm not here to cause conflict," she whispers, and I nod.

"I know. I know that, Rosé."

Even if she doesn't cause any conflict, seeing her will still be painful for Jennie.

"I'll stay with you, away from the house," Rosé says, and I shake my head.

"You can't. Just stay with Mom and Dad."

Rosé bites down on her lip and frowns. "Is she staying with you?"

I nod. Even merely discussing Jennie makes me uncomfortable.

"So, you two… are you back together?"

I glance at her, trying to assess how she'd even feel about that. I can't find a single trace of viciousness in her gaze, but then again, I missed it for years. "No. She has a boyfriend. He's here too."

Rosé looks at me with wide eyes. "Her boyfriend is staying with you too? What the fuck, Lisa?"

I inhale deeply and nod. "It's complicated," I say, wanting to keep as much to myself as possible.

Rosé looks shocked and confused, and for a second I think I see devastation in her expression. I look away and focus on the road, my heart twisting painfully. If Rosé hadn't done what she did, would Jennie and I be together now? I keep telling myself that we don't know if we would've made it, and that we were so young… but I believe with every fiber of my being that Jennie would still be mine, if Rosé hadn't taken her from me. It would've been me she'd wake up to every day. She'd be my wife by now.

"Is it serious?" she asks, her voice trembling.

I nod and bite down on my lip. "They're moving in together once they go back."

Rosé looks pale, as though the news hurts her as much as it does me, and for a second I worry that she might try and ruin this for Jennie too.

"I… I'd been meaning to apologize to her. I mean, it must've been quite obvious that I took the job offer in London because that's where Jennie is, but I just couldn't do it. I could never find the courage. I don't know how to face her."

I shake my head. "Then don't. She has a lot on her mind right now. Her father is sick, Rosé. Now is not the time to remind her of the past." Rosé nods, but I worry that she won't listen to me. "Promise me, Rosé."

She nods again. "I promise, Lisa," she whispers, and I breathe a little easier. It's fucked up that my sister's promises don't mean much to me, but it's nice to hear her say it anyway.

"Is she really dating someone else?"

I grit my teeth and tighten my grip on my steering wheel.

"Yeah, she is. She's happy with him."

Rosé shakes her head. "That's not possible," she says, her eyes flashing.

I inhale deeply and stare at the road, wishing I'd just asked Graham to pick her up instead. "I don't want to talk about it, Rosé."

Rosé nods and I exhale in relief when she shuts up for the rest of the journey. The upcoming holidays are going to be unbearable. I can't tell what's worse, having Jennie here and knowing she isn't mine, or not having her here at all. Everything is a fucking mess, and I can't do a thing about it.

My head is hurting by the time I pull up to my parents' house, and it starts to pound when Rosé speaks again. "I'm sorry, Lisa. I know asking you for forgiveness is too little too late. I know that. But if I can't say it to her, I'd like to say to you at least. If not for me, Jennie would now be my sister-in-law. We'd all be spending a couple of amazing days together, and she'd be in the kitchen with Mom, cooking up a storm the way she's always loved doing. Because of me, you lost the love of your life. Because of me, you now have to see her with someone else. Nothing I could ever do will make up for that, but I need you to know how sorry I am. if I could turn back time, I'd take it all back. It was so easy to forget that anything even happened after I got better, to just move on with life… but I know it wasn't easy for you. If anything, I'm pretty sure every day without her was just harder on you. I don't know if you'll ever forgive me, but I'll do whatever I can to make sure you're proud of the person I am now, even if you can never forgive the person I used to be."

I drop my head to my steering wheel and inhale deeply. "Rosé, please… just go, okay? Just get into the house. I can't do this. I can't."

I know she means well, but I can't tell her what she needs to hear. I can't tell her that it's okay, and that I forgive her. Because I don't. I don't think I ever will.